#◁ I tried to hold these secrets inside me ⟨ sasha ⟩

[oh-meretseger]

part 4 - Tease

attack on titan modern college au // Jean Kirstein x fem!reader

summary: the sexual frustration between you gets to its peak when your first kiss happens (🥹), starting a game of brutal teasing on both sides

notes: 18+! although not so much of a smut (some public touching and groping, making out hehe), mainly fluff, some cute moments before posting some disgustingly dirty smut in the next chapter lmao

word count: 4,6k

"Sasha, stop calling me pookie bear or I'm going ballistic" Jean calmly blinked in her direction after setting the empty box of pad thai down. Sasha was already on her third portion, mercilessly stuffing her face full like she's been starving for a week.

"But you're my pookie bear, what do you mean?" Sasha's jaw stopped chewing, stunned for a moment by hearing such astonishing nonsense, as she stared back at Jean. She notoriously got addicted to every single silly nickname she made up for her friends, and used it uncontrollably until she discovered a new one.

Jean let out an exhausted sigh, but still leaned back on his bed with a chuckle as he shook his head.

"And what about me?" Connie complained loudly from the other bed with a mouth full of noodles. None of the three were giving any more fucks about the movie playing on Connie's notebook in the background.

"You're my pookie pie"

"Yeah, I like pie" Connie shrugged, giving his blessing as Sasha nodded diligently.

"I know"

"Yeah, but I'm not a bear, so how does that work?" Jean huffed, holding back a smile at how Sasha's expression instantly turned outraged, just like he guessed.

"You are!" Sasha snapped at him and Jean laughed out loud. "You're a big ass hairy animal, but still cute and huggable"

"Ah right, thanks" Jean's ironic tone did not faze her in the slightest.

"I'm deeply sorry bro, but I wouldn't say you're cute, at all" Connie's eyes were back on the movie, although his attention was fully on the brilliant, highly knowledgeable conversation in the background.

"Y/N thinks you are" Sasha shrugged carelessly while ruthlessly devouring her last bites of dinner, and Jean's heart started pounding in his chest all of a sudden.

He cleared his throat to avoid choking on his own saliva, and tried to reply just as casually as Sasha spit out this small little information.

"What do you mean?" Jean couldn't believe how flustered he became by simply hearing your name. He didn't like it. The hell is his heart beating so fast for?

"She has the biggest crush on you, don't tell me you didn't notice" Sasha giggled to herself at Jean's honest, dumb expression. She found you two idiots adorable, pretending you didn't absolutely have the hots for each other.

"The hell are you on? They're at each other's throats all the fucking time" Connie turned his head at hearing such nonsensical gibberish.

"I truly feel sorry for you men sometimes" Sasha blinked at two of the most imbecile faces she's ever seen. "Are you really that slow?! Why in tarnation do you think I left you two alone?"

Jean felt heat spread through his body as images of you popped up in his memory, your warm body against his, teeth sunk into his skin...

"They fucked?!" Connie yelled out in shock and Jean couldn't help cracking up at how serious he sounded.

"Not YET" Sasha looked at Connie with a nod of true wisdom as Jean huffed in disapproval. Although deep inside, a feeling of excitement started to make him tingle.

"Shut your silly mouth, Sasha" Jean snapped at her, holding back a smile trying to climb up on his face all the way from his heart. "You've been acting a fool since you started latching onto that canteen guy"

"My brother in Christ, you're in denial" Sasha gave up. She already knew you were bound to be together anyway. "And I've always been silly, Niccolo just brings out the best in me"

"I love that guy, he makes the best risottos" Connie agreed in his own way, still pretending to watch the movie.

"He cooks me his secret special meals" she added, her eyes literally sparkling with pure bliss as she said those words, and Jean rolled his eyes. "I'm bringing him to your party, Consuelo"

"That's literally not my name" Connie stated, not even moving his eyes from the screen in front of him.

"Okay, Conrad"

"I'm texting Marco to come" Jean grabbed his phone, verbalizing his actions as both Sasha and Connie turned their head in excitement.

"Yesss, I miss Marco!"

You were rather anxious about this party. Connie's parents lived close to the campus, and the group of people Connie invited over to their house sounded fun when Sasha listed them all to you in detail. But still, there was something unnerving about a night of careless fun, coming out of your little shell and letting yourself go in front of such new people, in front of Jean.

"C'mon, we're gonna have an amazing time!" Sasha encouraged you after seeing a small anxious frown form on your face.

"I know, it's always an amazing time with you guys" you smiled, your heart pounding hard at the thought of seeing Jean at the party. "But what should I wear?"

"POOKIE, let me help you with that" Sasha jumped up from your bed and shot straight to your closet, as you watched her with an entertained grin.

You walked down the hallway on the way to your afternoon class, Friday leaving a freeing bliss in your chest as you listened to your playlist. The always busy corridor was now almost empty, everyone having left the stress of weekdays behind to finally enjoy their free time. Anxiety turned into a small glimpse of excitement in your stomach the past few days, and you couldn't wait for it to be tomorrow night.

Your headphones suddenly flying off of your head jerked you out of being in your own thoughts, and before you could even react, a strong hand grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a narrow passageway with an overwhelming force.

Your body crashed into a much larger frame, and a familiar sense of warmth flowed through you as Jean's smell hit your nose before you could even get a look at your kidnapper.

"Hey! Give it back!" your hand shot towards his immediately, but of course with one movement of his arm your headphones were instantly removed far from your reach, as he held it up above his head. A grin grew on his face as he looked down at you, his other hand still squeezing your wrist, and once again, you felt your cheeks get warm under his intense stare. That stupid cocky grin of his...

"D'you think I should?" Jean's voice was smooth and low, enough to make your mind go hazy. You couldn't believe how fast it all could get too much. His intoxicating scent, the warmth of his body as he towered over you, his fingers' touch on your skin, his voice and beautiful hazel eyes melting you into a puddle...

You felt weak.

"Can you stop doing that? My arm is getting all bruised up from you pulling on it" you sneered up at him, not even trying to get further away as your bodies pressed into each other. Jean's eyes slipped down to your plump lips as you mockingly smirked. "And kidnapping me"

"Kidnapping you? You could definitely not move your little hands around like that, if I were to kidnap you" Jean's raised hand inched lower and lower to slowly put your headphones around your neck as your eyes desperately pierced into his. You felt yourself melt into him, his look deliberately making you go soft and mindless, as his delicious-looking lips were so dangerously close to you...

As Jean's other hand became free, it slid down on the sleeve of your hoodie to grab your other wrist. The hard grip of his hands restraining yours was enough to make you soaking wet.

And that strangely made your confidence bounce right back.

"Why are you stalking me anyway?" you stared into his eyes with a self-assured smile slightly curving your lips.

Jean felt blood rush right to his crotch at the devilish sparkle in your eyes, almost visibly turning dark as you looked up at him. What a naughty girl.

Although weakness was palpable in the air between both of you. You both knew you would fold the moment your hips pressed into each other just a tad bit more.

Jean's hands gripping your wrists moved them behind your back with a swift motion.

"Don't think so highly of yourself, Miss Important" he smiled and you felt yourself blushing again as his arms pulled your body more into his, cuffing your hands behind you. Being controlled by Jean's big arms felt... Heavenly. "You want me to stalk you, don't you?"

"Unlike yourself, I'm not a pervert, dumbass" you let the magic word slip from between your lips, and warmth filled your chest as Jean cracked up. You felt like you could stay in his embrace forever, looking at his handsome face and beautiful smile endlessly... If your pussy didn't ache from the tension of being restrained by his tall frame. "You're lucky you have such pretty eyes, otherwise I would be kneeling on your back right now"

Your obvious joke of physically overcoming him flew right over his head as your words of praise reached his ears - and a slight tint of pink immediately dusted his cheeks. From ear to ear.

You couldn't believe your eyes.

"Jean" your smile grew into the widest grin as the rarest species on planet Earth, flustered Jean hesitated momentarily, looking into your eyes. "Are you-"

You stopped your own words. Instantly wanting to tease him was like a natural instinct, but in a matter of moments, your urge to deepen that adorable blush on his face became overwhelming. You wanted him to know how much your lips desired his at that very moment. You wanted to make him feel good, you wanted to feel good.

Jean felt your body rise onto tiptoes under his arms as your heels parted from the ground and in a second, your face reached his, your lips connecting in a soft kiss.

You immediately melted at feeling each other's lips, sensitive nerves making your hungry minds explode with pleasure. Jean felt all tension leave your body, and let go of one of your wrists to catch you from collapsing. You literally felt your knees give out. Jean's arm felt so strong as it snaked around your waist, you barely audibly whimpered into the kiss - and Jean felt himself grow hard at the sweet sound.

"Mmph y- your lips feel so good" you mumbled against his soft lips and Jean was seeing stars. He never imagined your honeylike voice to be able to make him crumble even more in real life, than on the phone the other day. Your body so hot against his, the touch of your lips so plump and sweet on his, your scent making him feel like he was drunk out of his mind.

Jean let out a quiet moan as your tongue danced along his lower lip, then slipped into his mouth eagerly. Immediately after you granted access, his tongue answered, sliding against yours, and you felt warmth flooding your pussy at the wet sounds you two were making. Jean's one hand gripping your wrist, the other one slowly sliding on the side of your waist, finding its way under your hoodie, making contact with the sensitive skin close to your breast...

It all felt so filthy, you were turned on beyond belief.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Jean grunted quietly after your lips parted, looking into your big, pleading eyes, but you already missed their warmth, so you softly pressed your lips back to his.

“What?” you whispered against him, your eyelids low from the heavenly feeling, and you felt Jean’s lips curve into a smile.

“You make me want to rip this off of you, right here, right now” Jean pulled on the sleeve of your hoodie, then with that same motion he grabbed your hand, removing it from its comfortable place on the side of his neck. You quietly whimpered as you felt one of his large hands gripping both of your wrists behind your back, his now free hand starting to slowly roam over your clothes. “You seem like the type of bad girl that likes the danger of getting caught”

“And you seem like the type to talk big, but do nothing” you knew exactly how bratty you sounded trying to tease Jean, but you also knew he had complete control over you. Your words were snarky, but your eyes blinked up at him with desperation, cheeks flushed with arousal.

Jean let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, you’re right” he smiled, but a sinful light flashed in his hazel eyes. Oh, you’re in for it. His free hand skimmed down to the brim of your hoodie, lifting it to expose the jeans tight on your butt. You unintentionally let out a sigh as his fingers gripped into the fabric and he started groping your ass without any shame. “I wouldn’t have the balls to touch you like that”

You felt wetness soaking through your panties at his firm touch, his breath hot on your ear as he looked at his own hand’s movements over your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t dare to pull these down” the groping stopped as a long finger creeped under the waist of your jeans, sending chills up your spine as he lightly dragged his fingertip along your skin. “What would we do if someone caught you with pants around your knees, moaning like a whore?”

“Jean” you quietly whined his name, losing your mind as his palm slid up your waist, over that stupid hoodie preventing his skin from touching yours.

“Getting desperate, are we?” he spoke softly, his hand stopping right at the underwire of your bra. Jean’s fingers moved carefully around the curve of your clothed tits, earning another whimper from you as you felt your pussy clench around nothing. “How outrageous would it be to grope your naked tits…”

You wanted him to grab them, feel the soft tissue with his hand, but Jean’s thumb just gently brushed over your nipple getting hard under the multiple layers of clothes.

“Or to take them into my mouth… Suck on them” Jean felt like all the blood in his body rushed to his groin as he pressed his thumb into the plush of your breast. Feeling you against himself, watching your eyes close in pleasure and your pretty swollen lips form an O made it extremely painful to hold his composure. Your flushed cheeks made him want to press you against the wall and do exactly what he just described. “A coward like me wouldn’t wanna get caught licking you, fingers buried in your wet little hole”

Jean felt his hard cock twitch in his pants as you pressed your hips even harder into him, desperate to feel his growing erection. His hand slid onto your delicate neck, fingers gently pushing into the sides.

“Holy-“ you mumbled, your head falling back as Jean leaned closer, his scruff scratching the sensitive skin as he earned access to your neck. His lips grazed over your skin, sending tingles down your body, and he deeply inhaled your sweet scent...

Then everything got cruelly ripped away from you in a matter of seconds.

“See ya tomorrow, smartass” you heard Jean’s voice and your eyes shot open, only to be met with his self-assured, cocky grin. He let go of your wrists and your neck, hands sliding into the pockets of his denim jacket while he stepped back, depriving you of the blissful heat of his body.

Jean felt so satisfied, so pleased with himself. You stood there for a moment, left utterly confused, your big eyes still eager, blinking towards him, swollen lips parted as if you wanted to say something, but the feeling of surprise made you catch your breath. You were so adorable, he had to hold back a chuckle.

He liked how confident sexual tension seemed to make you, but he just couldn’t help himself teasing you, making you go weak under his control.

“Je-“ a fragile little sound tried to break through the shock gripping your throat, but Jean’s reply cut you off as he turned his back to you, simply walking away.

“Tomorrow!”

You just stood there, astounded, your heart still racing, warmth filling your cheeks and panties damp from your wetness. Jean’s grip still burned the skin on your wrists and neck like a phantom. Your mind was so confused, you couldn’t even be mad at the man arrongantly strolling away from you like this was the most entertaining walk of his life.

And you completely forgot about the afternoon class you were originally headed to.

Frustration quickly turned into confidence as you stood in front of the mirror in your dorm after your little ice cream date with Sasha, getting ready for the party. It was a rare occasion, so you let your hair down, to Sasha’s biggest delight.

"You look sooo good, dear lord!" she exclaimed with an enthusiastic smile, encouraging you to do a little spin and she howled like a wolf.

"C'mon, it's not that special" you laughed at her excessive reaction. "But you do look breathtaking in that dress, emerald suits you"

"You think so?" Sasha looked down at herself, hands soothing the thin fabric. It was quite short, sleeves off the shoulders, showing off her delicate, pale skin. She truly looked beautiful.

"Niccolo's gonna pee his pants seeing you" you nodded and Sasha cracked up.

"He better pee his pants" she slipped her arms into her bolero. "And Jean better jizz his pants, to be honest"

"Sasha!" you chuckled as you shook your head, trying to shake off the thought of Jean orgasming, in any way, before your blushing could give any awkward feelings away. Sasha jumped to you and leaned over to pull your dress in all the right places to make it look even better. It was black and tight, its length ending right above your knees, but a longer slit letting one of your thighs be seen.

"What? You're a goddess, you better start believing that" Sasha threw her oversized leather jacket on your shoulders. "C'mon, grab your phone, let's go"

Connie's parents must be delighted to let a bunch of kids trash their house, you thought, as Sasha closed the door of your Uber and caught up to you waiting on the pavement. It seemed like a nice and quiet neighborhood, now muffled thuds breaking the silence of the street as you heard the bass of the music coming from inside.

"Bruh, Cornelius told me he invited twenty people at max" Sasha noted as you walked past a few unfamiliar faces sitting on the stairs of the front porch, drinking and cackling loudly. She swung the front door open like she owned the place, and the brutal noise hit you in your chest.

"Who the hell is Cornelius?" you asked with an amused laugh, but Sasha couldn't hear you anymore, the sound of loud music, people shouting, laughing and just generally being intoxicated deafening both of you. Sasha grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd.

Bumping into a bunch of strangers in a dimly lit room and loud noise overwhelming your senses was not how you imagined Connie's "friendly get together" to go.

"There he is" Sasha let go of your hand as you reached the kitchen, the lights brighter and the noise slightly less disturbing than in the crowded living room. You leaned against the doorframe where Sasha left you as you watched Sasha punch Connie's arm without a word being spoken between them.

"AARGH, are you out of your mind?" Connie jumped back from the open fridge in shock, his hand shooting towards the painful shoulder.

"You told me it was gonna be a small party! How are we supposed to order pizza for so many people?" Sasha yelled at him, absolutely infuriated about the food situation.

Non-existant food situation, may we add.

"Why should we order pizza for everyone?! I don't even know them, who cares?" Connie yelled back at her, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge. "Did you come over to ask brainless questions, or will you let me have a fucking break?"

"Hi Y/n!" you suddenly heard your name from behind and your head snapped towards the familiar voice. You were met with Berthold's smile and his usual peaceful expression, not even minding Sasha and Connie killing each other in the background.

"Hi Bert" you smiled back, happy to see him. You rarely got to talk to him at the one single class you had together. "How are you?"

"Uh, good thanks, barely holding on inside this hell of a house" he replied and you chuckled, perfectly understanding his struggle with crowded, loud places.

"You're telling me! I feel like exploding and we just arrived" you shook your head. "Where's Annie?"

"We're sitting outside on the patio, you should join us. It's a lot more quiet out there" he suggested as a large hand slapped on his shoulder. You looked up at the tall man appearing next to Bert, broad shoulders towering over you, fingers running through his blonde hair, bright eyes and a charming smile glistening towards you. "This is my friend, Reiner, by the way. I don't think you've met"

"Nice to meet you, Reiner" you nodded with a friendly smile and he accepted your hand reaching towards him, shaking it gently.

"The pleasure's mine, Y/n" Reiner softly returned your smile, and you started to feel flustered at the intense eye contact. "How come I've never seen you around campus?"

"She's pretty lame, looks like a grey little mouse most of the time" an unmistakable voice appeared next to you, and you turned to Jean sticking out your  tongue in an instant. Bert rolled his eyes with a laugh and went over to the fridge, probably getting the drinks he originally came there for.

"Who asked the blockhead?" you snapped back as Jean stopped close to you, one arm pressing to yours, grinning down at you.

Your heart secretly started racing just by seeing him.

"Dunno man, looks like a gorgeous mouse to me" Reiner said winking at you, then turned and went to join Bert pondering in front of the open fridge. Warmth spread on your face as you watched Reiner grab a beer, and you deliberately avoided looking at Jean. "You want one, Jeanbo?"

"Nah, I'm good, thanks" Jean replied casually, but clenched his teeth as he looked down at your face, blushed from his compliment. The hell are you blushing for? Is this buff jock what you're into? Reiner, really?

Jean's jaw relaxed at the thought of how you'd probably clown him for being jealous. Jealous, good lord... It was like you sensed his eyes stuck on you, you raised your face to look at him with those big, sparkling eyes.

How could he not be jealous?

"Big man's not wrong" Jean said softly, so only you could hear, his eyes glancing over your outfit, then back to your face, and you felt your cheeks burn under his look. "You look beautiful"

Your heart fluttered at his words and you couldn't help the smile instantly widening on your face. You turned your whole body towards Jean and felt your stomach flip at how his hazel eyes glistened right back at you with a warm smile.

"You look pretty handsome yourself" you grinned, moving to hold both of his hands. Jean's heart fluttered to the same rhythm yours did as the sight of your pretty smile and the touch of your fingers combined started to make him melt. "This shirt looks so good on you"

Your fingers ran along the collar of his dark button-up shirt, the fabric soft, comfy and smelling of his delicious scent.

"Don't try to make me blush, you little rat" he grunted with a low voice, making you laugh out loud, and he lifted his hands to grab both sides of your face, long fingers reaching into your hair at the nape of your neck. Tingles ran down your spine as your arms moved automatically to hug his waist as he stood so close to you. "Where are your glasses, smartass?"

"I'm wearing contacts" you blinked up at him as he stroked a few strands of your hair to tug them behind your ears.

Your stomach doing a backflip once again.

"I like the glasses" he brushed his thumb over your cheek, then looked back to your eyes, making your body burn with the familiar sense of warmth. "But you look pretty regardless"

You swallowed your reply as Jean's eyes shot to your lips. So plump and invitingly glistening with gloss. He wanted to kiss you so much.

"I like the earrings, too" Jean swiftly shifted his eyes to the little silver figures dangling from your ears. He  thought they wonderfully emphasized your delicate little neck.

"Thanks, they're ladybugs" you grinned and Jean chuckled.

"Are they your little magical ladybugs? I knew you were a witch" he watched with a smirk as you bursted into laughing. He also noticed the shimmery eyeshadow on your eyelids, and how the makeup and your jewellery complimented your look so well. Although he knew exactly how gorgeous you were without them.

"You're very attentive tonight, Jeanbo" you sneered at him and Jean rolled his eyes at your smug smile. He hated that nickname.

"He's my teammate, your ass is not allowed to use that name"

"Will I be allowed if I start beating you with a stick as well?" your smile widened at making Jean crack up.

"The hell do you think we do while playing hockey?" he laughed, one of his hands moving to grab your chin. "It's not just beating each other with sticks, believe it or not"

"Sure" you borderline didn't even know what you were talking about. Not even having a sip of alcohol yet, you smiled up at Jean drunkenly, intoxicated by how good he felt to all of your senses at that moment.

Sasha's loud sounds of excitement snapped you both out of your own little world.

"WHAT, they're filled with cherry cream?!" she covered her mouth with a hand, in a state of complete shock as Niccolo held out a tray of cupcakes in front of her.

Niccolo nodded with an enthusiastic smile in your direction, and you waved at him with an amused chuckle as Jean let go of you and walked over to them. You've already met Niccolo countless times, but you could never get enough of their emotion-filled interactions with Sasha - strong emotions about food, mostly.

"Hey!" Connie yelped as Sasha slapped his hand trying to steal from the dessert. "This is my house, give me a cupcake!"

"It's your father's house, Constance" Sasha stated seriously, and you bursted out laughing as Connie's low-lidded stare met your eyes. He was so tired of the names.

"Are you pulling these names out of your ass?"

"I'm pulling the cupcake out of your ass, if you dare to steal any of- HEY!" Sasha practically jumped on Connie's back as he rapidly grabbed one of them from the tray, trying to get away and stuff it into his mouth before Sasha could stop him.

A few people, unfamiliar with this otherwise very usual situation, quickly left the kitchen before they found themselves in the middle of a physical altercation, and you and Jean were in absolute hysterics.

"Eat it then, you fucking piece of pie!" Sasha shouted at Connie, still riding on his back, smearing the cherry cupcake around his face with her palm.

"Uh- Yo-" Connie's desperate attempts of yells were muffled as Niccolo tried to pull Sasha from him with no success. "Y'suff- You'll suffocate me!"

"Ah, feels like I never left town" a voice laughed loudly next to you, and you raised your teary eyes to look at the stranger. The tall, brunette man stepped straight to Jean, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he snatched his head in his direction.

"MARCO!"

[orshii]

Will I Ever See You Again? CHAPTER 1: Last To Fall

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Warning: cursing, violence, blood

Word count: 4,6 k

Summary: You were left alone with your brother, Yunho, and his best friend Hongjoong, after your parents' death. Yunho had someone to grieve with, but you? You had no one as your brother and his best friend pushed you away, singing becoming your only savior. There was one rule that Yunho made inside his friend group: “Don’t touch my sister”. And for this reason, Hongjoong had always kept his distance. But one night, you find yourself in danger. And from then on, Hongjoong does not leave your side. He is suddenly overprotective of you, and your relationship shifts and becomes fraught with tension and unspoken feelings, with secrets lurking beneath the surface and a painful past haunting you. Will you find out the secrets your brother and best friend have been keeping away from you? Will you be able to finally free yourself from your cruel past?

Will you fall in love amidst the chaos around you?

A/N: Finallyy...the adventure starts everyone!! Yayy, I really hope you are going to like this whole rollercoaster, I really tried with this one. Please look forward to this story, as it has a really special place in my heart. Before reading, or while reading, please listen to WTF by Sasha Sloan, as it is included in the story. Okaay, enjoy!! hehet.

Taglist: @bvidzsoo @vixensss @deltamoon666 @scarfac3 <3 (taglist is still open if you are interested)

I stepped onto the stage, darkness tightly hugging around me as I became one with it. I stood by the microphone, waiting for my bandmates to settle down. They nodded once they were ready and the lights suddenly blinded me as everyone could see us now. I felt vulnerable for a second, but when Yeosang, my best friend, started playing the acoustic guitar as he gave me a reassuring look, I finally got the courage to start singing.

♪ Sometimes I got a hard time seeing the point to existing ♪

My vocals resounded around the enclosed space as Yeosang accompanied me with his guitar, representative of our real-life connection. He has always followed after me, guiding me, holding my hand if I needed a little extra support. 

♪ Sometimes I got a hard time

Seeing the good in the chaos ♪

And then Jongho joined in with the drums that sounded like thunder, followed by San, who was our bass guitarist. I looked over to him as I sang, our gazes connecting as he smiled at me, telling me everything was alright with his soft eyes. These boys gave me the strength I needed to step out in front of the world and sing about my feelings.

♪ Am I the only one losing my mind? 

What the fuck am I doing here? ♪

It was weird singing about my feelings right in front of so many strangers, who came to the pub either to get laid or just have some fun. The thing is, that I feel more comfortable singing in front of people who I don't know, because I know they won't judge me. They are only here to enjoy themselves, listen to my singing, which is more like background music to them after a certain amount of alcohol has made it inside their systems, however, sometimes they would sympathize with the lyrics, I could easily see it in their eyes.

♪ Stuck in a one-man circus

Trying to find some purpose

But it’s unclear  ♪

Singing, was the only thing that kept me going after all the bad things that have happened in my life. I could escape my feelings like this, letting them out into the world. This was the only time when I allowed people to see the real me, my real feelings, because the second the music was over and people cheered, my mask was back on and my emotionless self was back again, showing no interest in anything at all. I was back to the state of not feeling, of being a robot who had to just simply survive. Days mushed into one, monotone and repetitive, there was no fun in being alive anymore. But still, something kept me going, something kept me alive, and I wasn't allowed to leave, yet. 

I had nobody except my brother, Yunho, whom I love the most, and my only purpose in life is to make his easier, so he doesn't have to suffer like me. We went through tough times together, and we had to stick to each other in order to survive. I have always tried my best, and I still do everything I can to support him. 

Speaking of him, I have to be at his boxing match in ten minutes. I quickly hurried backstage, where my bandmates were and hugged them tightly. I was happy to see them, and grateful that they were doing this with me. We have created our band just for fun, no serious intentions were put into it, however, we got an opportunity to perform some nights at a pub called, MIST. We asked the owner a few times to let us play, and in the end he allowed it. I guess it was an escape for all of us. An escape from a cruel world in which we couldn’t truly be ourselves. 

I ran towards my car with Yeosang trying to keep up so that we wouldn't be late to the match. 

"Are you okay?" Yeosang asked me as I drove off fast once we were seated inside the car. I really didn't want to be late.

"Yeah, of course." I briefly glanced at him. He saw how tired I was, so he was worried. I haven't slept well at least in the past three years, so my face kinda always looked like. Some people may think I was a living zombie, so I get it.

"You sang beautifully tonight." He smiled at me proudly.

I felt the urge to smile back at him, "Thank you, for being there for me too." I didn’t look at him, but I knew he was still smiling.

"I had no choice, I was the one playing the guitar." Yeosang teased with a chuckle.

"Mhm, so I am forcing you to play now?" I gave him a quick side glance.

"No, no." He put his hand on mine as it was on the gearstick, "I'm glad I can play alongside you, it's an honor, Milady." He grabbed my hand and gently pecked my knuckles. 

I chuckled as after running a few traffic lights and avoiding traffic as best as I could, we finally arrived to the Boxing Club. A few people were still outside, smoking a cigarette or waiting for someone, so this meant that the match hadn't started yet. We went inside the building and there were already a lot of people sitting in the grandstands. The air was a bit cold in the big hall. Some people stood around the boxing ring while behind them there were seats available, our reserved ones being among them. We went over to find them as I could feel excitement overcoming my whole body. The atmosphere was full with anticipation as everyone was here to see some fist fighting between bulky and angry men. I had no idea what the rules of these boxing matches were, but when my brother was in there, I felt like if anyone tried to harm him, I was going to get inside that ring and punch the motherfucker until he’s passed out. But to my luck, Yunho was one of the best boxers here. He was tall and well-built, and he didn't have enemies in this little town that would come to challenge him. Everyone feared him.

And he rarely lost too. One of the few occasions when he did lose, was against his best friend, Kim Hongjoong. He was shorter than Yunho, but he was strong still, and since he was smaller, he had the advantage of being quicker as well, so, he outplayed Yunho. Even though Hongjoong lost one of his teeth that one time, he was still smiling proudly over his win. I had a feeling that Yunho maybe let him win.

Yunho and Hongjoong have been best friends since forever. Hongjoong was kind of part of our family at this point as he had lost his own family in a car accident, and my father was there for him, together with Yunho, trying to breathe life into Hongjoong again. After a while, my dad started taking care of Hongjoong as if he were his own son, and one day I woke up to him suddenly living with us. Yunho and Hongjoong were like brothers and I was so envious of their relationship, because Yunho never told me anything, he never told me what he was feeling, he pushed me away, only letting Hongjoong in. I hated it, I hated that I was left alone, alone with my thoughts, with my feelings, after our father died. It was tough for everyone; the three of us were left without a parental figure for good now. Everything just seemed so suspicious to me, I didn’t know anything about how my father died, about what happened to him. Yunho and I were alone now, but he had another sibling to grieve with and I had to stay strong, alone. It was the three of us, yet they pushed me away like I was some stray cat, unworthy of their time and attention anymore.

I looked over at Yeosang, and I smiled as he sat next to me, looking around with big puppy eyes, taking in the atmosphere. Suddenly, I felt the urge to hug him. He was by my side from the second we met last year, when we bumped into each other as both of us were trying to find our next class, realizing in the process that we both were music majors. From then on, we did everything together. He kind of brought me back to life, he was a real sunshine in my life as his blonde hair lightened his beautiful face with a glow always to it, his birthmark under his left eye making him look even more ethereal. I have always admired him, and felt lucky that I had bumped into him. So, I hugged him, hiding my face in his neck, his scent enveloping me, offering me peace. He smelled like orchids, that's why my favorite flowers were orchids. 

He chuckled, "Okay, you’re acting strange, Y/N. Are you sick?" He pressed his palm against my forehead, checking if I had a fever. 

I smiled, "No, I’m not. I just wanted to hug my best friend, is that such a bad thing now?" I moved closer to him, not wanting to let go just yet.

"You never hug me, sorry, but it is strange." He looked down at me, smiling.

"I know…that's why I'm doing it now, because I'm glad you’re here, with me." It was rare that I expressed how I felt, I wasn’t the type to vocalize my thoughts so easily. 

"Yeah, me too." He hugged me tight and warmly. I felt safe in his arms, never wanting to let go of him.

After we killed the time by goofing around, finally the match started and we were waiting for my brother to appear in the ring, so that we could cheer for him. Kim Hongjoong was the first to compete against a big guy, so buffed up that I was kind of worried he would break Hongjoong into pieces. Both participants prepared for the fight, and when it started, Hongjoong looked like a little bunny next to the big man. However, Hongjoong never failed to surprise me with his strength as he attacked his big opponent with two perfectly timed strikes. The guy had no choice at all, Hongjoong didn’t even give him time to try and attack him. The man just blinked, and then he was on the floor. The crowd cheered for Hongjoong as he fist bumped the air as he celebrated his quick win with the crowd. 

After Hongjoong, more men fought inside the ring and it was becoming boring. They were playing the cat and mouse game, but finally one of them punched the other one and he was knocked out so hard that the ambulance had to be called. Nothing too unusual. 

Finally, Yunho appeared inside the ring with a confident smile, his opponent being Song Mingi, his other best friend. They had a very interesting dynamic, always glued together, they acted like I imagine soulmates would. I have always adored their friendship; it was unbreakable and full of respect. I really wouldn’t be surprised if one day they announced they were in love, really, I wasn’t blind, I could see the tension between them. I could see the way Yunho looked at Mingi, his eyes having a particular glint in them as if Mingi was his whole world, Yunho always only saw him. Yunho not only had Hongjoong by his side, but Song Mingi as well.

It was shitty when you had to compete against your best friend, but, may the better man win. They were standing in front of each other, both tall, but their bodies shaped differently. Mingi was always quick to dodge the strikes, but Yunho was merciless, and he never stopped. The crowd went silent as the thick tension between them made everyone shut up and follow their match on the edge of their seats. I knew Yunho well, and I was sure he did not care about the fact that he was going to kick his best friend’s ass in no time, because he only wanted to win. He was addicted to the rush he felt when winning. May you be lucky enough to never encounter Yunho after a match he lost, his rage scary and dangerous. I saw how Yunho and Mingi murmured to each other, something only they could. Mingi seemed a little off today, like he wanted to be anywhere, but here. Yunho, on the other hand, continued smiling confidently and quite smugly, not even noticing the expression on Mingi’s face, which seemed to be screaming that he didn’t want to fight against his best friend. 

Yunho was the first to attempt strike against Mingi, and he hit him straight in his ribs. After a few more tricks and moves, all we could see was Mingi trying to hit Yunho, but my brother dodged all of his poor attempts. Mingi seemed to have loosened up a bit as a smile appeared on his face. Suddenly, they smiled at each other, it seemed like a friendly match between the two, until it wasn’t anymore, until Yunho suddenly managed to strike some counter kicks and hits at Mingi and he was on the floor, his mouth bleeding. Mingi looked mad, disappointment showing on his face. But he suddenly got up and hit Yunho straight in the face. Yunho was taken aback, so he couldn’t fight back for a moment, and Mingi managed to hit him once or twice. But Yunho was the type to never give up, even if he had only one unbroken bone. The crowd around us suddenly roared with such loudness I wanted to cover my ears, especially when they cheered because my brother got hit, I didn’t like that. But Yunho suddenly got the strength to hit back, and that was Mingi’s last chance. He was on the floor after getting showed against the iron bars aggressively and roughly, now barely able to move from the pain. I felt sorry for Mingi. Yunho was so blinded by the rush of adrenaline he got, that he didn’t even realize that his best friend was on the ground, bleeding, because of him. This side of Yunho had always scared me, I didn’t recognize him when he was like this. And I was sure Mingi was fighting his inner demons as well, trying to understand Yunho somehow. In the end, the referee raised Yunho’s arm into the air, announcing he had won against his best friend, who had stormed off angrily towards the changing room. 

A few more matches passed, and then in the next one Hongjoong lost against a guy who seemed to know every calculated move of his. The guy easily dodged Hongjoong’s attempts, and quickly gave a few strikes back, straight into Hongjoong’s face and ribs. Hongjoong was breathing quickly, and my heart started to race. I was a bit worried for him as the guy tried to hit him again, but he dodged it, and punched the guy’s solar plexus. The guy fell to the ground, but it seemed he was a tough guy, and he got angry as I watched Hongjoong tell him something. That was when the guy moved forward quickly and stroke Hongjoong in the ribs with force, immediately making Hongjoong pass out. The crowd stood up at once, myself included, as Yeosang followed with a gasp, all of us shocked as we couldn’t believe the fucker knocked Hongjoong out.. The referee announced the guy as the winner, and finally, Hongjoong slowly opened his eyes, barely moving as someone helped him out of the ring. So, Hongjoong was out of the competition. After that, Yunho had a few more fights, Mingi as well, but in the end, Yunho was announced as the number one winner of the night. 

When the matches were finally over and the crowd started to slowly disperse, I waited for Yunho so I could congratulate him. Yeosang had already left as he needed to go home for some unknown reason to me. I was near the ring, but nobody was in the room as I read briefly over the history of boxing displayed on the walls. There were a pair of old boxing gloves on a shelf and I took it into my hands, wanting a closer look.

"Wanna learn?" A sudden voice from behind made me jump a little.

I turned around and saw Hongjoong coming my way, freshly showered, wearing a black tank top that tightened around his upper body perfectly, paired with black sweatpants. He had some fresh bleeding cuts on his eyebrows and lips, his two-colored, black and blonde hair was still wet, falling into his eyes. The colors of his hair kind of represented his personality. I knew he had a bright side that he only allowed Yunho to see, and whom he felt close with. And he had a dark side, which I have known from the beginning as he was always unnecessarily protective and mean with everyone. He had a really bad reputation, and he was a bad influence on Yunho. That’s why I hated him as he made Yunho become part of some dangerous gang, the two doing some illegal shit together. These things never ended well…

"Not really." I shrugged, and placed the old gloves back in their spot. 

"Come, I'll teach you some tricks. It may come in handy, and who knows, you may have to knock out some bastards." He said, motioning with his hands to follow him as he jumped up into the ring.

"When is Yunho coming?" I asked, looking up at him.

"In a few minutes. He is currently yelling at Mingi, so until they finally figure their shit out, come." He reached his hand out towards me, so that he could pull me up beside himself.

I sighed, and with a frown grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull me up. I suddenly felt worried about Yunho, I didn’t want him to fuck up whatever had been lately happening between him and Mingi. On the other hand, I didn't understand why Hongjoong was suddenly acting like this. We were never really on good terms, but we also weren't on bad terms. It was always as if the other wasn’t there, like we grazed past the other. Most of times, it was Hongjoong doing this, so, after a while, I started doing the same. And yes, I started hating him as well, because I felt jealous of him stealing my brother away from me.

I put the gloves on Hongjoong handed me. It was a weird feeling, but if I’m being honest, I would gladly punch him in the face with these gloves on or off. Preferably off, would feel more real.

"Can I punch you?" I blurted out without thinking much. 

"No? Why would you?” He looked at me with a frown, “Wasn't it enough when that other guy just knocked me out like I was nothing but a feather?"

"No, it wasn't. I want to be the one to knock you out." I tried to scare him as I hit the air in front of his face.

"Okay, okay, chill out, sugar." He grabbed my wrists, "You'll have another chance to take me out, but it’s not now." He said with a smirk, and I scoffed at the realization of how he meant it. Hell, no. I wanted to punch that smirk off of his face.

He started explaining how to hit someone in the solar plexus so that you knock them out immediately. I could practice as he held his palms up. I held my right hand in front of my face, because like he said, one hand must be there to protect your face. With my other hand, I punched his palm. Left-right, then right-right, and so on. After a few strikes he said that I could practice some more on his abs as he pulled his tank top up. I gulped seeing his toned abs, bruised with black and blue marks on his ribs.

“God, you are so bruised. I’m not merciless enough to hit you in this state, Hong.” I said, my eyes still on the cruel bruises. 

“Don’t worry, sugar. You only need to hit my lower stomach now. Try and find my solar plexus, but you can’t hit me strong enough to knock me out.” He smiled confidently and took his lifted-up top between his teeth, his hands held up behind his head, waiting for me to strike. 

Oh, so I couldn’t hit him strong enough? At first, I softly punched his stomach as he was watching me with eyes that made me feel like I was his prey and he’d pounce on me any minute now.

“C’mon, sugar. You can do better.” He said, taking the top out of his mouth just so he could talk to me.

“Fuck you.” I snapped, getting angrier. Suddenly, I struck him with all the strength I could muster up, aiming at his solar plexus only. It felt good. I started cackling loudly when I successfully hit him hard enough that he hunched over, trying to catch his stolen breath.

"Okay, okay, I think you've got this now." He raised his hands in the air in surrender, "But next time, you have to get it right away. It hurts, but it has to be the perfect timing if you want to knock the other one out." 

He stepped closer, reaching his hands out, one settling on my lower back and the other on my lower stomach, "You have to hit right here, without missing." He said it in a low voice, whispering it into my ear, his warm breathing sent shivers down my body as it tickled my skin.

“Your strikes are good, but if I wasn’t an unmoving target, I could’ve knocked you out in seconds, your left-hand needs to be here.” He raised my left hand slowly to hold it in front my face, “You need to protect that pretty face of yours.” His face was emotionless, I couldn’t read his features.

“You couldn't protect your dumb face, from that guy who knocked you out.” I said, getting angrier.

He chuckled, “Okay, sugar, fair enough.” He stepped even closer, watching me with an unnerving hunger in his eyes.

“One last thing.” Slowly, he let his hands travel down to my inner thighs, close to my knees, and made me stand in a wider stance, “You need to stand balanced so that you can put all your power into your fists.”  

Fuck this, I didn’t sign up for this. He really just touched me without asking for permission first, acting like he could do anything to me without it there being repercussions to his actions.

“Can you like, not touch me every time you try to explain something?” I snapped with a glare as I got more furious because of his actions.

Hongjoong looked at me with a surprised look on his face. I guess he didn’t even realize he made me feel uncomfortable. I was seconds away from recoiling and hitting him hard, showing him just how easily I could knock him out if I really wanted to, but suddenly Yunho was shouting at us.

"Hands off my sister, Joong!" Yunho approached the ring just as Hongjoong quickly jumped back, putting a great distance between our bodies.

"I just wanted to teach her some techniques she can use in the future." He raised his hands again in the air, genuineness showing on his face as he slowly walked near Yunho. Now he was acting like he was the hero and I was some damsel in distress needing his help, how funny.

"Let's hope she won’t have to use them, then." Yunho looked at Hongjoong with deadly eyes. This always happened when I was the subject of their conversation, they acted like I wasn’t even there, they talked about me like I was an object. 

There was a stupid rule that Yunho had come up with, “My sister is off limits, if you try to touch her, I'll just simply kill you.” And this rule did work because no one really dared to even as much as look at me. I hated it because I never had the chance to have fun. Yunho was always there in the shadows, letting others know that, “If you touch her—well you know what happens.” 

I have always felt like I was a princess held in a big tower, wanting to desperately escape...

"Let's drink something at MIST." Yunho said, sounding a bit angry and tired. He reached his hands out towards me, helping me off the platform.

"I thought you were coming home, that's why I waited for you." I jumped off the ring, accepting my brother’s help. It was alarming how cold I felt without Hongjoong by my side.

"I want to celebrate, come drink with us." Yunho looked at me through his dark eyelashes, his black hair still wet from the shower. 

"Nah, I'm tired, I'll just go home." I said, rubbing my face as I fought against a yawn.

"Do you need a lift? Hong can take you home, I came by bike." He pointed at Hongjoong, who finally jumped off from the ring, ready to take me home.

"I came by my car, so I don't need a lift.” I said, looking at Hongjoong with a sharp glare, “Alright then, see you at home, don't get shitfaced." I turned around and walked towards the exit.

"Drive safely, and send me a message when you have arrived!" Yunho shouted after me.

I just lifted my thumb up in as a silent way of telling him okay, and left the building. The weather was a bit chilly this evening as I was headed towards my car, trying to find my keys in my backpack full of notebooks and torn out pages. As I was walking towards my car under the moonlight, my mind was whirling around with thoughts accompanied by an unfamiliar melody, that I have noticed I started making up lately very randomly. The words that came to me had the potential to be even some lyrics, but it wasn’t anything I have heard before. It was my own song.

≫ The feeling of being drowned in your thoughts,

Trying to find someone who’ll jump to save you. ≪

I have never wrote music before, I thought I wasn’t talented enough for that, but this melody that lately had been playing in my head made me want to write these random lyrics down, so that maybe I could create something special too one day..

I finally found the keys to my car, and I sat inside my black Honda Civic, igniting the engine to life. I suddenly felt hungry, so I decided to stop at a restaurant, called Granny's, on my way home to order some takeout. It was a fifteen-minute drive from where the boxing matches were held, and after I arrived, I went inside the restaurant and ordered some chicken wings with french fries. I patiently waited around a bit for my order to be finished, then I paid and said my goodbyes.

I was currently headed to my car, grabbing the keys from my pocket, food in my other hand, when suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. I had no time to think as I suddenly found myself on the dirty ground. I hadn't even reached my car, it was blocked by two tall figures dressed in all black, and as I looked behind myself, I saw two other men staring at me like they were going to kill me right then and there.

A/N: Ty for reading, just one thing, if that Yungi fight scene caught your eyes (wink), my best friend @bvidzsoo, wrote a behind story for them on AO3, I recommend it is very good, I died.

「Series masterlist」 <Next part>

[topazy]

Teen spirit

Pairing: Carl Grimes × reader, Maggie Greene × sister reader

Warnings: Blood and violence

Chapter: 5.03

You stand in the church hall, holding Judith protectively as Sasha pulls her blade from her belt and threatens Father Gabriel. Daryl, Carol, and Bob had gone missing during the night, and she blamed him for it.

“Where are our people?” She screams.

He raises his hands defensively and says, “I didn’t have anything to do with this.”

“Where are our people?”

“Please, I don’t have anything to do with this. I…”

Rick pulls Sasha back, then steps directly in front of Gabriel with the same crazed look in his eyes that he had when your group was taken. “Why’d you bring us here?”

“Please, I…”

“Are you working with someone?” Rick asks, stepping closer to him.

“I’m alone. I’m alone. I was always alone.”

You felt bad for Father Gabriel; it didn’t feel right to question a man of God in his own church. It was obvious Gabriel was hiding some dark secret, but you believed he had nothing to do with the three members of your group going missing.

“What about the women in the food bank, Gabriel? What did you do to her? ‘You’ll burn for this.’ That was for you. Why? What are you going to burn up for? Rick suddenly lunges forward and grabs him by the collar. What? What did you do? What did you do?”

Gabriel’s eyes fill with tears; he struggles to maintain eye contact with anyone in the room. “I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always…they started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before, and they were scared. They were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe. And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see, it was my choice. There were so many of them, and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the siding, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women…children. Entire families called my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy.” He breaks down in tears, “begging me for mercy. Damn me to hell. I buried their bones. I buried it all.” Gabriel takes a deep breath and says, “The Lord sent you here to finally punish me. I’m damned. I was damned before. I always locked the doors. I always locked the doors.”

You watch as the father crumbles to the ground, an emotional mess, grieving the loss of his congregation that was indirectly caused by him. Hearing a whistling sound, you turn behind you to look out the window. You manage to make out a figurine wriggling on the ground outside. “There’s someone lying outside in the grass!”

Sasha leads the way as the adults rush outside, with Rick ordering you and Carl to stay behind with Judith. When you hear gunfire, you run away from the window and stand by Carl on the other side of the room. At the same time, Sasha and Rosita carry Bob inside. You fight back the scream that builds inside you as you notice one of his legs is gone.

They sit Bob down in the middle of the aisle. “I was in a graveyard,” he explains. “Somebody knocked me out. I woke up outside this place; it looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth. And five others. They were eating my leg right in front of me, like it was nothing. They were all proud, like they had it all figured out.”

The room falls silent until you clear your throat and shakily say, “Rick was right; you should have gone back and killed them all.”

“Y/N,” Maggie says, looking across at you with a look of shock on her face.

“Like I’m wrong? Look at what they did to Bob! What if they took Daryl and Carol as well?”

“Gareth said they drove off,” Bob says before letting out a groan of pain.

Sasha tries to get painkillers for Bob, but he tells her to save them. He pulls down his top at the shoulder to show her a walker bite. “It happened at the food bank.”

Everyone in the room's eyes tear up. Bob was going to die regardless of what anyone did; nobody could help him now.

—

While Tyreese and Sasha move Bob to the sofa in Gabriel’s office, Carl puts Judith, who is starting to cry, to bed in a basket full of blankets. Rick and Glenn try to discuss what should happen next, but Abraham interrupts them.

“It’s time for a reality check,” the redhead says. “We all need to leave for DC right now.”

Rick stares him down. “Daryl and Carol are going to be back. We’re not going anywhere without them.”

“I respect that, but there’s a clear threat to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y’all won’t come, good luck to you. We’ll go our separate ways.”

As Abraham and Rosita head for the doors leading out the church, Rick asks, “You leaving on foot? “

“We fixed that damn bus ourselves.”

“There are a lot more of us.”

“You want to keep it that way? You should come.”

Rick and Abraham now stand in front of each other in the church aisle, both of them riled up with anger and ready to burst.

“Carol saved your life; we saved your life,” Rick hisses at him.

“Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone’s.”

“We’re not going anywhere without our people.”

“Your people took off.”

“They’re coming back.”

Glenn jumps between the two men when Abraham shives Rick, separating them before things can escalate. “Do you really think that you’re going to be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah,” Abraham nods. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

“It doesn’t matter when you leave,” you say as you step forward. “Those freaks will still be outside. They didn’t bring Bob back here to be saved; they brought him back here so you would go after them. I guarantee you they will either be outside waiting for someone to wander off on their own, or they will be waiting for the rest of us to be left here vulnerable.”

Rick narrows his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Think about it. You go out there looking for retaliation with your best fighters, who’s left here. Me? Carl? Judith? They don’t just want to kill us; they want to make us suffer first, and the best way to do that is by hurting the ones we love.”

A look you’d never seen before appears on Rick’s face; it’s caused a lump to form in your throat. It’s hard to tell, but he looks a mixture of furious and sad.

“She’s right,” Tara says, walking to Abraham. “I have a plan, but for it to work, we need to all stick together. If you still have one more day, I’ll go with you to DC.”

Abraham nods. “Glenn and Maggie, too.”

When Rick tells him no, Abraham orders Rosita and Eugene to leave with him immediately. As they go to leave, Rick says they can’t take the bus again, causing another argument that almost comes to a physical fight, but Glenn jumps in between them again. “If you stay, you stay and help us, and me, Maggie, and y/n will go with you.”

Your heart sinks. Maggie was your sister, and Glenn was your brother-in-law but the rest of the group was your family as well. You weren’t leaving, but now wasn’t the time for that argument.

—

You, Carl, Rosita, Tyreese, Eugene, and Gabriel all hide in the back office, watching over Bob and Judith while waiting for the plan to roll into action. Nervously, you bite at your nails, which doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You worried they won’t be back in time?” Rosita asks quietly.

“No, it was just something else.”

She smiles softly at you. “You don’t want to leave for DC, do you? It’s okay if you don’t.”

Your mouth suddenly feels dry. “No, I don’t, but that wasn’t where my head was at. I was thinking about what Bob said about the school.”

“The elementary school?”

“He said it was jammed packed full of walkers, and it didn’t look as if it would hold for much longer.”

She says, “One problem at a time, kid. But I like that you are thinking ahead; it’s a good quality to have.”

After some time, you sit alone again, back pressed against the wall, until Carl sits down beside you with Judith in his arms. You smile at the baby until you hear the sound of wood being broken. Scared, you grab Carl’s free hand, as the door to the church is broken. For a split second, Carl allows you to do this, but he quickly pulls his hand away, then hands you Judith before standing and aiming his gun at the door leading into the office.

“Well, I guess you know we’re here.” Gareth calls out. “And we know you’re here. And we’re armed. So there’s really no point in hiding anymore.”

Rosita puts her fingers to her lips, then steps closer to the door, aiming her own gun at it.

The floorboard creaked underneath the weight of footsteps, meaning they were getting closer. “We’ve been watching you. We know who’s here. There’s Bob, unless you’ve put him out of his misery already. And Eugene. Rosita. Martin’s good friend Tyreese. The girl who kicked Steve in the balls, y/n. Carl. Judith.”

The moment Gareth says her name, you stand and pull the blade from your belt. There was no way you were letting them take her.

“Rick and the rest walked out with a lot of your guns. Listen, we don’t know where you all are, but this isn’t a big place. So let’s just stop this now before things get more painful than they need to be.”

Tears of terror swell in your eyes when the door handle begins to rattle.

“Look, you’re behind one of these two doors, and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. I can't imagine that’s what you all want.” Gareth cocks his gun. “How about the priest? Father, if you help us wrap this up, we’ll let you walk away from it. Just open the door, and you can go. You can take the baby with you. What do you say?”

Judith begins to cry, her eyes heavy with tiredness. You quietly try and coo her to sleep, prying; she stopped being so loud, even though you know Gareth and his men heard her cry.

“It’s your last chance right now to tell us you’re coming out.”

Seconds later, gunfire echoes in the church, followed by an altercation and people screaming. Tyreese cracks the door open and looks out before slowly coming back into the room. He mutters, “It’s our people.”

You hand Judith to Carl and leave the room to check on your sister, but you’re greeted by the grisly sight of massacred bodies. Their blood was splattered across the walls and windows. Father Gabriel steps out behind you and says, “This is the Lord's house.”

“No,” Maggie states. “It’s just four walls and a roof.”

You step over the bodies and hug her and Glenn.

—

After burying Bob, who died early in the morning, your group began to part ways, leaving you with the difficult task of letting your sister know you weren’t going with her and Glenn. You wanted them to stay, but they weren’t going to go back on their promise to Abraham.

“It’s not up for debate; you’re coming with us, and that’s final.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not leaving for DC.” In truth, you didn’t believe there was much hope in DC but wouldn’t dare share it out loud; you doubted and wanted to cast doubt on those who did believe.

“Yes, you are.”

Glenn ushers you both to the opposite side of the road as others begin to listen in on your conversation, which is quickly turning into an argument. “What about Beth? We can’t go if she’s still here.”

“I’ve already lost one sister; I’m not going to just lose you too.”

You shake your head. “I’ve made up my mind.”

“Maggie, she’s fifteen,” Glenn says quietly. “We can’t force her to come; let her stay. We’ll all meet up again. Besides, she’ll probably be safer here than on a bus.”

“Whenever our group splits up, something bad happens.”

Rick clears his throat. “I don’t mean to pry, but I’ll look after her as if she’s my own. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

Maggie looks torn, but after thinking about it, she agrees. “Fine, but you’ll do everything Rick says.”

“I will, I promise.” You wrap your arms around Maggie and say, “I love you.”

“I love you too, and I need you to stay safe for me.”

After an emotional goodbye, the bus taking one half of your group drives off. Part of you feels lost. You really thought you and Maggie would stick together this time, but you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving and starting a new life halfway across the country while Beth was possibly still looking for her family. Rick squeezes your shoulder. “I’m glad you stayed; I know Carl and Judith really need you.”

You sigh, “I need them too.”

You turn to look up at Rick, who still had small traces of blood on his top, face, and neck. “Last night we might have walked into a trap, but you were able to see something we didn’t. I’m proud of you; I'm sure Hershel would be proud of you as well.”

“Thanks Rick.”

You go inside to join the remaining members of your group. The bodies of the dead had already been moved outside, but their blood still remained everywhere. Seeing Gabriel looking so distraught, you go to the small kitchen and fill a bucket with a small amount of water, grab some old-looking clothes and a small amount of soap of water, and return to where the blood stains are. You kneel down and begin to scrub at the blood on the floor. Carl joins you, giving you a small smile as he does.

[toadcaptured]

@annephibic Sasha w/ Anne tho lol

that’s… reassuring 

[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 50: Thy Kingdom Come

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: Season 7 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: violence, swearing, character death ❧ Word Count: 4.7k

❧ In This Chapter: The time comes to finally fight back against the Saviors. The Alexandrians strike up a plan, but it goes a little sideways when it turns out there are some traitors in their midst. Nevertheless, some unexpected allies save the day, and the tables are finally beginning to turn.

❧ A/N: The end of Season 7 is here! Thus begins the official war with the Saviors. Who knew this would be happening to our dear Reader? Well, probably everyone because we've all seen the show but yeah. Also love this gif of Daryl. He's such an angry little teddybear (and the ears poking out from his hair? Don't get me started).

You didn’t tell anyone about Sasha’s confession the night before.

The morning after, however, Rosita arrived, and you had a feeling that she was planning something, too.

You admired their courage, but you worried that anything they would do would prematurely affect your group’s chances of winning. Still, who were you to stop them?

If Daryl was still being held there, you would’ve gone with them. You still wanted to kill Negan, but your need for vengeance had calmed a little since he came back. It was still there, and always would be there, but you could wait now.

When the Saviors came that morning, you saw Sasha leave through a secret exit. You would’ve tried to stop her again, but you were frantically looking around for Daryl. Jesus found you first.

“(Y/N),” he said, grabbing onto your arm and beginning to pull you towards your trailer. “You need to hide, the Saviors are coming.”

“I need to find Daryl first,” you said. “He needs to hide, too.”

He shook his head and looked towards the gates where the Saviors were driving through. “There’s no time,” he insisted. “Come on.”

He pulled you inside and hid you under the bed, then shoved a long cardboard box next to you to block anyone from seeing you under the bed. “Stay here,” he said.

You swallowed hard and did what he said, though you were worried sick about Daryl, as usual.

If the Saviors found him, they’d kill him. If the Saviors found you, they’d turn the Hilltop upside down looking for him, and then they’d find him… and they’d kill him.

When the Saviors left, Daryl pulled the cardboard box out from under the bed, and then pulled you out.

“Oh, thank God,” you said, holding his face in your hands. “They didn’t find you?”

Daryl shook his head. “Nah. Got put in the cellar with Maggie. We’re good. You okay?”

“Mhm,” you said. “What’d they want?”

Apparently, they wanted Dr. Carson.

He was taken to the Sanctuary to be their new doctor since the other one, who happened to be Dr. Carson’s brother, “got himself killed.” Though they hadn’t killed anyone, they took the doctor who was taking care of Maggie and her baby, and the only doctor the Hilltop had.

You spent the rest of the day training more people. Sasha and Rosita were both gone, you knew that, but you couldn’t tell anyone. You didn’t want to. So, you covered for them by training their classes.

By nightfall, Daryl seemed to notice that they were gone, and he bursted into your trailer to pick up his crossbow. You sat up in your bed, putting down the book you were reading. “What’s wrong?” you asked.

“Can’t find Sasha or Rosita,” he said. “Worried they might’ve done somethin’ stupid.”

You sighed and tossed the covers away from you to rise to your feet. “Are you going after them?”

Daryl eyed you suspiciously. “You know where they went?”

You nodded. “I think so… Sasha talked to me about it last night. I didn’t want to say anything until they were long gone.”

Daryl shook his head at you. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

You swallowed hard, knowing he was upset with you, and you couldn’t blame him. You should’ve told him, but you had sympathy for their cause. “I tried to stop her,” you said. “She wouldn’t listen to me, then Rosita showed up…” You trailed off. “Sasha wanted me to go with her. I said no.”

Daryl inched closer to you, his crossbow slung over his shoulder. “They’re going to kill Negan, right?”

You nodded. “Yes. I—I told her it wasn’t the right time, but I also… wanted her to go. To do it. I wanted to go with her, a part of me did… for what they did to Glenn and Abraham… and you.”

Daryl rested a hand on your shoulder. “I’m glad you didn’t go,” he said.

You nodded. “I can’t be away from you right now. I—I need you.”

Daryl released his crossbow and set it on a nearby table, then pulled you into him. “I need you, too.”

The following day, Rick came to the Hilltop and informed you all that Tara knew of a settlement that had guns and a reason to fight the Saviors.

The group, located on the coast, was appropriately called Oceanside.

It seemed like a promising lead, and Michonne and Rick had recently scavenged several guns, so you would all be armed in case things went south.

Straddling the back of Daryl’s bike, and still trying to get your bearings on the thing, you joined the others in traveling to the settlement.

To your surprise, Bev was among those who volunteered to help.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” you said to her as she helped you lay out a dynamite trap, in case things went wrong.

“Well, I was supposed to be substituting for your class since you ran off with Robin Hood,” she said with mock annoyance, and you smiled at the reference. “But I got Yvonne to cover for me. I’m getting better at fighting, you know. I’m ready to kill those assholes, and we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

You carefully laid down a stick of dynamite, and looked across the way at Jesus and Daryl who were doing the same. Aaron and Eric were on watch making sure no one interrupted you.

“Sorry for leaving,” you said. “We got the Hilltop on board, though. And the Kingdom… well, it didn’t really work out. It’s going to be worth it, though. And I’m glad you’re here.”

Bev smiled. “Glad to be here… it’s good to feel useful.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Teaching the future of America is useful,” you argued. “Now you’re fighting for the future. Not much difference, really.”

When the bombs were set, you were just waiting for Tara to give the signal as she spoke with the leader of the group. From what Tara had told you all, you gathered that they were all women whose husbands, brothers, sons, and fathers were killed by the Saviors. Surely, they’d want to help you.

That wasn’t the case.

Tara never gave you the signal, and the bombs went off as a result. They were placed outside the settlement, but they were there to scare them and to corral them in one place.

It seemed to work. Daryl led you, Bev, Jesus, Aaron, and Eric to two of the women who had broken off from the others. You and Bev tied them up, then brought them to a larger group where Gabriel and Carl had the rest of the community at gunpoint.

Rick joined, too, and began to speak to the frightened women. “Now, we made a lot of noise,” he said. “We want to wrap this up quick so you can send people to redirect anything comin’ this way. Tara said your forests are relatively clear, so we won’t take any chances. No one needs to get hurt. This is just about what you have, what we need.”

“Nobody’s taking anything!” an older woman yelled as she approached with Tara at gunpoint. “You need to let everyone go and leave right now. Just walk away or this one dies.”

You locked your sights onto the woman, pointing your rifle at her head in case she actually did shoot Tara.

“We’ll leave you alone,” Rick said. “But we’re taking your weapons with us, that’s not gonna change. It’s Natania, right? Put the gun down, let’s talk about what we can change.”

“No,” she said. “Leave, right now.”

There was some back and forth after that, with the other women of Oceanside showing interest in fighting the Saviors with your group. Still, Natania was adamant.

“Some of you actually want to fight them?” she asked, still pointing the gun at Tara’s head. “After everything? We can lose our guns, but us leaving this place to fight? After everything, I have to remind you? Remember what they did to us. You need to see this, open your eyes!”

Suddenly, Michonne, who was standing watch in a tree, yelled: “Rick! Walkers!”

With the distraction, the young beside Natania, who you gathered to be her granddaughter, punched her in the face, knocking her to the ground.

Luckily, she was fast enough that Tara didn’t get shot.

Turning your attention to the walkers, you noticed they were much closer than you anticipated. They filed through the trees, a herd of them. They must’ve come from the water because they were soaking wet, some of them even covered in barnacles.

“Everybody up!” Rick yelled. “Get the children behind us. They’re coming.”

“First shift, join ‘em on the line,” one of the women said to the others. “Knives out, dead only. Dead only!”

Forming a line, several of you prepared to shoot your guns. Daryl held his crossbow at his eye line, and you felt him grab you and situate you right next to him. Holding up your automatic rifle, you waited for Rick’s signal.

“Everyone, shots within ten feet of the line. That’s it,” he said.

The walkers began to inch closer, so close that you could now smell the hideous stench of death radiating off of their decomposing bodies.

“Now!”

A barrage of gunfire was released, and you set off several shots until the walkers got close enough to fight by hand, and the women from Oceanside who were lined up with you raised their knives to defend themselves, and your group.

You kept shooting, and when one walker got particularly close to you, one of the women you tied up plunged her knife into its head. You turned around with wide eyes. “Thanks,” you said to her.

She nodded, and with a few more shots, the herd was defeated.

“We’re not fighting them with you,” Natania said as she began to walk away, back towards the settlement. “So take your damn guns and go.”

That’s precisely what you did.

You supposed even if you didn’t have the numbers from Oceanside, you were still getting their guns. It seemed wrong to take their guns from them and leave them defenseless, but that was what Rick wanted you to do, and what you knew needed to be done to defeat the Saviors once and for all.

You carried a large basket of guns alongside Bev. “Do you think this is right?” she asked you. “Leaving them without protection?”

You sighed. “No, but it’s what we have to do, whether they help us or not.”

You all returned to Alexandria in the evening. You had to admit, it was nice being home again after about three days away. Daryl was happy to be home, too.

That is, until Rosita informed you all that she brought a hostage from the Sanctuary.

You headed home for the night, and Daryl followed Rosita with the others to see who she had locked up in the makeshift Alexandria jail.

You were lying on the couch in your pajamas when Daryl bursted through the door, throwing his boots onto the ground and grunting in frustration.

You sat up. “Who was it?”

Daryl looked at you seriously. “Dwight.”

Your eyes widened. “He’s here?”

“Nah,” Daryl said, sitting down on the edge of the couch and unbuttoning his shirt. “He just left.”

“Why?”

“Said they’re comin’ tomorrow, Negan and the Saviors. He’s gonna slow ‘em down, block the road and buy us some time to get ready.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Gotta,” he said. “We let him go back. Wanted to kill him.”

You leaned closer to him and pushed back some of the stray hairs draping over his face. “Why didn’t you?”

Daryl moved his eyes over your face, studying your curious expression. “‘Cause I couldn’t risk it.”

You nodded, then wrapped your hands around the back of his neck and nuzzled his head into your chest. He responded by wrapping his arms around you and heaving a deep breath into your warm body.

You were silent for a while, just enjoying the sound of his breathing. “I’m gonna kill him, when it’s over.”

You closed your eyes and rested your chin on his head. “I know. You will. I’ll kill him if you don’t.”

Daryl pulled away and looked at you. “Sasha’s there, at the Sanctuary. She’s alive, but she’s there.”

You nodded. You assumed that’s where she was, considering Rosita came back without her. “I should’ve done more to stop them,” you said. “I just… couldn’t.”

Daryl stroked your hair. “Ya did what you could. She’s tough. She’ll make it out.”

The two of you were silent for a moment. “They’re coming tomorrow?” you asked.

Daryl nodded. “Yeah, and we’re gonna fight ‘em.”

Your heart trembled and you felt a shiver up your spine. Though you wanted to fight the Saviors, you didn’t realize it would be happening so soon. If your group was going to attack the Saviors tomorrow, it was the beginning of a war.

Sure enough, that’s exactly what you all prepared for that next day: war.

Daryl, Rosita, and Aaron filled an old big rig outside the walls with explosives. Rick and Michonne invited a group of people they’d come across a few days earlier in a junkyard. They were led by a woman named Jadis, and that was about all you knew about them, other than the fact that they arrived in Alexandria that day to help your group.

The plan was to not even let the Saviors in through the gate. Your group was going to have enforcements hidden behind the walls on the guard posts, as well as on the ground in case they did trickle in. That was where you were—on the ground, an automatic rifle in your hands, standing with Daryl, Tara, Rosita, and several people from Jadis’ group. They weren’t the most talkative, as you found out after trying to talk strategy with one of them, but they seemed serious about fighting the Saviors, so you couldn’t complain.

“You got this?” Daryl asked you as he nudged your shoulder.

You nodded, smiling a little as you remembered him asking you that back at the farm. Only this time, the threat was much more dangerous than walkers.

“I think so,” you responded. “We’re going to win.”

“Hell, yeah we are,” Daryl said, with a disproportionately serious look to his face.

Not moments later, you heard the sound of vehicles approaching, and the voice of someone familiar which you didn’t intend on hearing.

“All points are covered,” spoke Eugene into a megaphone, standing on the back of a large truck. “Every contingency is already met. I come armed with two barrels of the truth. A test is upon you, and I’m giving out the cheat sheet.”

You exchanged a worried look with Daryl. Clearly, Eugene didn’t even try to resist Negan’s offer. He must’ve been pretty important to the Saviors if he was doing the talking.

“H-hello,” Eugene said through the megaphone as he met eyes with Rick, who was standing atop the guard post. “I come salved with the hope that it is my dropped knowledge that you heed. Options are zero to none. Compliance and fealty are your only escape. Bottom-lining it, you may thrive or you may die. I sincerely wish for the former for everyone’s sake. The jig is up, and in full effect. Will you comply, Rick?”

“Where’s Negan?” Rick asked.

“I’m Negan,” Eugene answered.

You closed your eyes and sighed.

Never had you been more disappointed in Eugene. Sure, when it turned out that he lied about Washington, you were pissed, but you had forgiven him since. Now, you wanted to smack the shit out of him.

Apparently, so did Rick. After several moments of anticipation, he gave Rosita the signal to set off the dynamite.

When it didn’t go off, you panicked internally.

When Jadis’ group began pointing their guns at your people, you screamed internally.

Shit!

That’s when you knew—they were working with the Saviors, and the Saviors knew about the plan. Whether Dwight told them or Jadis’ group, you were pissed.

One of the traitors opened the gate for Negan, and you all stood by helplessly as the guns were trained on you.

Then, Negan stepped out from one of the vehicles and stood next to Eugene.

“You ever hear the one about the stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit but didn’t know shit, and got everyone that he gave a shit about killed?” Negan asked Rick, then pointed up at him with that big, smug smirk. “It’s about you. You’re all gonna wanna put your guns down now.”

You kept your gun close to you.

“No one drops anything,” Rick said.

“You push me, and you push me, and you push me, Rick!” Negan exclaimed. “You just tried to blow us up, right? I mean, I get me, my people… but Eugene? He’s one of yours. And after what he did, he stepped up. You people… are animals. Universe gives you a sign, and you just shove your finger right up its ass.” Negan made an obscene gesture with his middle finger. “Dwight, Simon,” he alerted his henchmen. “Chop chop.”

You began to breathe heavily when they propped up a big coffin on the truck. There was only one person you could think of being inside there.

“So you don’t like Eugene anymore,” he said. “You guys gotta like Sasha. I do, too. Got her right here, packaged for your convenience. Alive and well. Now, I brought her so I wouldn’t have to kill all of you, and not killing all of you could get complicated. See, I know there’s a lot of firepower left in there, Rick, so I’m gonna make this simple—I want all the guns you managed to scrape up. I want every last grain of lemonade you got left. I want a person of your own choosing for Lucille.”

You glared as he pointed to that stupid bat he was always anthropomorphosizing. You wanted nothing more than to shove it up his ass, but you knew he’d find some sick, twisted pleasure in it.

As if he noticed how much he was pissing you off in particular, he turned his sights towards Daryl. “Daryl,” he said. “Ooo, I gotta get me my Daryl back.”

Over my dead body.

“And the pool table,” he continued. “And all the pool cues and chalk, and I want it now or Sasha dies. And then all of you, probably. Come on, Rick. Just ‘cause I brought her in a casket doesn’t mean she has to leave in it.”

The silence settled in like a plague.

“You know what, you suck ass, Rick, you really do,” he said. “I don’t want to have to kill her but that’s exactly what you’re gonna make me do.”

“Let me see her,” Rick said.

“Oh,” he chuckled. “All right. Just give me a second. I might have to get her up to speed, you can’t hear shit inside this thing.” He smiled and turned to knock on the coffin with his bat. “Sash, you’re not gonna believe this crap.”

When he opened the casket, Sasha did come out, but she wasn’t herself. She was a walker.

Your eyes widened as she lunged out and snarled at Negan. “Holy goddamn!” he yelled. She pushed Negan off the truck, and a few horrified moments passed before Carl turned and began shooting at the members of Jadis’ group who had their guns pointing at you all.

Following suit, you turned and shot two traitors directly in the face. In a matter of seconds, the place was a war zone. Gunfire rang out from every angle around you, and you were firing in rapid bursts to take out as many hostiles as you could. When the immediate threat was taken out, you turned your attention towards the Saviors on the other side of the gate.

When the Saviors became too much to handle as they flooded in, Daryl pushed you back.

“Go!” he yelled to you, covering you as you fell back.

The two of you hid behind one of the parked cars that were kept near the gate, and shot at as many Saviors as possible.

You’d been in a war of sorts before, but this was unlike anything you’d seen. You were outnumbered with the Governor, too, but the sheer magnitude of the Saviors’ manpower, combined with Jadis’ group, was something you were unprepared for.

Soon, you were running low on bullets, and both you and Daryl had to use the last few shots to take out two Saviors and take their guns, which were also on their last legs.

It didn’t matter, though, because a triumphant roar sounded from the other side of Alexandria.

A roar as in… a tiger’s roar.

You shared a dumbfounded stare with Daryl for a brief moment, then charged towards the animalistic noise, where a rain of gunfire was also sounding out.

It couldn’t be, you thought. But then, who else could it be?

It was like a scene out of the Jungle Book, if Shere Khan were more inclined to rip out Mowgli’s jugular.

All around you, warriors from the Kingdom, some on horseback, were firing at your enemies.

A cascade of hope flowed through you, as though the Kingdom had unleashed a righteous Armageddon, a preordained battle between good and evil—and now good was winning.

Clouds of opaque, white smoke bloomed and curled in the streets as what was left of Jadis’ group fell back and climbed the gates.

Amidst the chaos, you were separated from Daryl, but soon you reunited with Maggie, who was leading a group from the Hilltop. Watching each other’s backs, you fired incessantly at the Saviors as you ran through the streets.

It was a loud, bloody event, but you now had the upper hand. Forces from Alexandria, the Kingdom, and the Hilltop moved together as one and chased the remaining Saviors out of the walls.

From a distance, you could see Daryl climbing one of the trucks by the gate in a last ditch attempt to fire at the last of the escaping Saviors. When he got to his feet atop the truck and raised his gun, he saw there was nothing there.

The smoke cleared soon after, and you met Daryl on the ground when he climbed down.

“We did it,” you sighed as you hugged him tightly.

He nestled his face in your hair, not saying a word as he breathed heavily and watched stray strands of your hair curl and wave from his exasperated breaths.

The rest of that day was spent removing bodies from the streets of Alexandria, and burying the ones you knew. The Saviors and the Scavengers, as you were calling Jadis’ group, were taken outside the walls to be burned.

By the time everything was finished, you heard a knock at your door.

You were the only one home that evening, as Daryl was standing watch on the guard tower. When you opened the door, you were overjoyed to see it was Carol.

You had seen her earlier in the war zone, fighting alongside the Kingdom, but you hadn’t yet had a chance to settle down and actually speak with her. The last time you saw her was just after you attacked one of the Saviors’ bases, and so much had changed since then, though it was not even a month ago.

Surely, she must’ve known about Glenn and Abraham by now.

“Come in,” you said after greeting her with a hug.

You took her into the kitchen and had her sit at the bar while you made the two of you some green tea. “Did you miss me?” she asked with a small smirk.

“Of course,” you replied, taking a few dishes out of the cabinet in front of you. “Daryl did, too. Everyone did. But you’re a resident of the Kingdom now I see?”

She sighed. “For the time being. The king wants me to help out, but I’m fighting for Alexandria.”

“Well, you’re one tough bitch,” you said, sparking a laugh between the two of you. “We’re lucky to have you.”

She nodded, and you looked at your hands as you remembered the moment you first met Carol.

“You know,” you began, “when we were back on that interstate, when they dropped the bombs on Atlanta… back at the beginning… I think meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“Because I don’t think I would have made it very far otherwise. Maybe I would’ve met some other people, gone somewhere else… could have been a very different series of events. In all likelihood, I wouldn’t have lived. Sometimes I still don’t know how I made it this far. But then I remember why—it’s you, and everyone else, all the people I met, the group we became a part of. That’s how I survived, that’s what kept me going… and that’s what we’re fighting for right now.”

You could hear the water in the kettle rumbling now.

“I met you, then Lori, then Shane… then we went down to the quarry, and we met the others… and I found Daryl, brought him back. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about how lucky I’ve been. Now, seeing you here again, fighting with us… for us, it fills my heart with so much joy.”

Carol reached her hand out across the countertop and took your hand in hers. There were tears forming in her eyes, and she smiled at you sweetly. All the while, you could hear the whistle of the kettle beginning to sound. “I’ll always fight for you,” she said. “For Rick, Daryl, Maggie… everyone. You’re my family.”

You smiled. “They can’t take that away from us.”

The two of you were quiet for a while, until you noticed the kettle whistling loudly. Turning around and loosening from Carol’s grip, you quickly switched off the burner. “Water’s ready,” you said, pouring the steaming hot water into the teapot. “Just gotta let the tea steep for a few minutes.”

Carol sniffled, then thought again about what you said. “The beginning…” She trailed off as you turned to face her again. “Funny, I never really thought of it as the beginning, more like the end.”

You folded your arms across your chest. “Well, it was the end of something, and the beginning of something. You can’t have an end without a beginning, right?”

“Guess not,” she agreed. “Maybe there is no beginning or end… it’s all just… one big circle.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Maybe… I guess there’s different ways of looking at it. Maybe nothing ever ended or began. If you really look at the world, it’s not much different from what it used to be. People still hate each other, want what they don’t have, kill and steal and rape. Only difference is the walkers.”

You turned around to check on the tea in the pot, which had become a beautiful light golden color. The fresh, herbal scent, accompanied by a pleasant warmth, caressed your face and delighted your senses.

“There’s still good people,” she said. “There’s love, and hope. That’s what we’re fighting for, right?”

You smiled as you brought the teapot over and began to pour a liquid cord of hot, golden tea into her cup, then yours. “Right. Love, hope, freedom… good things like that.” You set the pot down.

“And tea,” Carol added as she held her cup up to her mouth and blew on it gently.

You nodded. “Yeah, we’ve got a lot to fight for, to live for.”

~

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter ➳

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[dancingazaleas]

jean kirstein | primrose

i love him so much

y’all can’t see it but i am crying

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL HIMBO

note: this is unedited

warnings/notes: artist!jean, college au!, gardener!reader, cursing, jean’s in love, nsfw, smut, praise, fingering, soft sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, flower language.

jean wouldn’t say he was popular by any means.

everyone knew of him, but it’s not like they actively tried to befriend him or get to know him. he only really talked to the people in his friend group, and even then it was quite spread out. meaning, there were friend groups inside the friend group. jean doesn’t necessarily understand, but he’ll take what he can get.

jean mostly stayed alone on campus, none of his friends were artists. sasha was in a florist course—or something, jean never hears her speak about it—marco was majoring in nursing along with psychology, and connie was... well... connie? jean knew that connie had classes, but he didn’t even know what they were along with his major.

this meant that jean had no friends in his art classes. he wasn’t upset about it though, he always preferred to keep in his bubble. it only really got annoying whenever the professors would give them group projects.

jean’s sighing while he checks his phone, a text message from sasha that says she’s at the campus’s greenhouse finishing up an assignment. jean and sasha usually hang out until three together, waiting for connie and marco to get out of their own classes.

he grunts as he sets off to the greenhouse, not looking forward to the humidity that awaits him outside of the building. the professor made them work in the sprinkling rain?

jean pulls out an umbrella whenever he gets outside. shivering at the almost dramatic temperature drop whenever he steps outside. he trudges through the soggy grass, ignoring the squelching of his shoes and the water.

“where are you,” he asks whenever he steps inside of the greenhouse, closing his umbrella and inhaling the different smells.

the greenhouse is empty besides one person, sitting on their knees as they fill a hole with soil gently.

“huh? did you need something,” you ask as you pull your gaze away from the plant, eyebrows furrowed.

jean feels his face flush, “oh! i’m sorry... my friend said she was here but you’re the only one who’s here.”

you blink and stare, which makes jean sweat. you light up with realization, “you’re talking about sasha right? if so, she’s here still, just needed to use the bathroom in the next building over.”

he utters a thanks while you get back to your work, awkwardly loitering by the door as a way to wait for his friend.

“wh-what’s your name,” he stutters to you, cringing at how his voice echoes against the glass of the building.

“i’m (name) (last name). you?”

“j..jean kirstein. nice to meet you,” he nods with a gulp.

“not to be offensive, and even if i say that, it might be, but you don’t exactly look like a horticultural major. what are you majoring in,” you’ve not looked up from the plant you’re caring for.

“i’m an art major,” he spits out.

you pause your movements and look up to the window for a moment, relaxed smile on your face.

“funny,” you shrug and go back to your task, “i don’t think i’ve ever painted before.”

he relaxes his tense shoulders, shock written all over his pretty face, “you’ve never painted?!”

“nope.”

“what about when you were a kid?”

“no, my parents didn’t approve of messes along with anything that wasn’t proven to meet their standards,” your bottom lip juts out from concentration.

“i see,” he hums, but he really doesn’t. his mother’s always been so supportive of him and whatever he’s chose to do with his life, and still he treated her horribly when he was younger.

“what’s this project even about,” he asks, walking closer to observe your craft.

“sasha and i have to try and grow strawberries on their own... it may not seem too difficult, but strawberries are an absolute pain to maintain care for,” you sigh with disappointment, “but i’m not working on that for right now, i’m just planting for now.”

“what are you planting?” jean’s sure that you’re becoming annoyed with him and all of the questions he’s asking.

you smile a bit, “lilac.”

jean can’t see exactly how that makes you happy or flustered, but considering you’re the expert and he isn’t, he’s not gonna ask. he goes to open his mouth once more, but the greenhouse door creaking open interrupts him.

“sorry jean! there was this long line in the girl’s bathroom,” sasha blurts as she shuffles into the room and shakes the rain off of her shoes.

“it’s fine, don’t worry,” he holds up a hand snd shakes his head.

“oh! (name), you’re still here,” she asks whenever she steps closer.

“yea, just felt like gardening,” you place the pot down gently and look up to her from your place on the floor.

“what’re you plantin’?”

“lilac,” jean answers for her and is once again struck by confusion whenever sasha’s cheeks light up as a smile stretches across her face.

he looks back to you to find you glaring at sasha with a secret knowledge.

“what? what’s so weird about it,” he asks, looking between you two.

“nothing nothing, jeanie boy! c’mon, i want a burger,” she giggles as she waves her hand up and down, turning around to go out of the door.

“didn’t niccolo feed you earlier,” he scoffs, following behind.

“yeah! he made me lobster. anyways, bye (name)!” she grins as she opens the door after taking jean’s umbrella.

jean fusses over her lack of care as he snatches his umbrella back from her and puts it over the both of them. briefly, his mind wonders back to you.

————

next time jean sees you, you’re looking quite frustrated and upset as you shovel dirt into a an empty pot. sasha is, once again, going to the bathroom in the building over.

“are you alright,” he’s hesitant.

you jump up, not even noticing him once he’d walked in. you relax while you sigh, eyebrows bunching up in frustration.

“i’m okay,” it seems you’re telling yourself this more than you tell jean, “my parents are just being upsetting.”

jean gets a text from sasha, telling him that she’s going to go to the bathroom in the main building since the line was too long. he doesn’t care for some reason, instead taking a seat beside you on the ground.

“wanna talk about it,” he asks, his body warm next to your’s.

you sigh for the umpteenth time, “we’ve only met once and i’d feel as if i would be dumping this onto you.”

“i don’t mind. if you don’t want to speak about it, i won’t force you,” he shrugs.

“well,” you start with reluctance, “my family’s always been judgmental of how i should be allowed to spend my time. not only that, but careers, interests, and friends.”

“and i assume they’ve said something about your major,” he assumes, slightly sad as you nod.

“bingo. they don’t think it’s sophisticated enough for me, but i’m not too sophisticated myself. i’m barely an adult, i’ve just turned 19. why they won’t let me be a kid is beyond me,” you gently lay the seed into the soil of the pot.

“i’ve never had this issue, so i can’t say that i completely understand or that what i say will help. however, good parents shouldn’t treat their child like that. you’re your own person, they shouldn’t be trying to limit you and your experiences. it’s not fair to you,” he says, “you’re parents are ignorant.”

you stifle a laugh, “thank you, jean. i appreciate it, genuinely.”

his cheeks flush as he nods, telling you that it was just something a friend would do for another.

“what’s your instagram,” you ask, swiftly pulling your phone from your pocket and pulling up the app.

he tells you nervously, three dings emitting from his phone in his pocket. one follow, one like, and one message.

jean finds himself texting you at nine pm.

————

jean finds himself giddy a few months later. he’s talked to you nonstop ever since he’s gotten your instagram, easily falling for you as he learns more about you.

he’s teaching you how to paint today. or, not really teach, but just helping you get started.

he sits on his couch while he waits, opting to watch some k-drama that connie recommend to him. he tells you that you can just walk in since the door’s unlocked, but jean has a feeling you would’ve just walked in anyways.

he hugs you excitedly whenever you walk in, leading you over to one of the easel and canvases he’s set up for you. he looks at your outfit.

“you’re wearing that?” he asks, not really thinking before he speaks.

“yea...? gotta problem with it,” you’re immediately defensive, and it has jean bouncing back with realization.

“oh my god, i meant you’re wearing that to paint? you’re outfit looks good on you! it’s cute! n-not to say that you’re cute or anything! er—i don’t mean that you’re not cute!” jean flushes, “i am... going to stop talking..”

you giggle at him, “it’s okay jean, i know what you mean.”

“o-okay,” he relaxes, “do you need to borrow any clothes? i don’t want your shirt to get dirtied.”

“just a shirt, your pants wouldn’t fit me,” you ask while you untuck your loose white button up from your jeans.

he scurries off to find you a shirt, slapping himself on the forehead in embarrassment. he grabs you a light grey shirt with paint splotches scattered on it, which he’s once painted a mural in.

he turns his back to you whenever he gives you the shirt, instead focusing on the collection of painting supplies he’s set out on his work tray. he’s chosen acrylics for you, claiming that they’re the easiest to do if you’re a beginner. you have a feeling that he’s lying, especially since he’s an art major.

“are we painting anything specific,” you ask and sit down on the stool provided for you.

“actually, i was thinking of letting you choose. maybe some flowers or plants since they help you relax,” he contemplates aloud, hand pressed to his chin.

“let’s paint a sunflower,” you say reluctantly, “they should be easy enough to paint.”

he nods, starting put small spurts of paint onto his pallet. you mimic his actions, carefully stroking the canvas with your paintbrush.

“relax your shoulders,” he suggests, noticing just how stiff you are, “if you’re too stiff then the painting will be too. this is about relaxing.”

“i just don’t want to make any mistakes.”

“hey, like bob ross always says; there are no mistakes, just happy accidents,” jean gives a lazy smile as he continues to paint.

you laugh at him, finally relaxing your body and brushing the brush across the canvas. you both chat absentmindedly as you paint, finding comfort in one another’s voice and movements. you’re both playing 20 questions, if you can call a conversation that.

“the most embarrassing thing... probably walking in on my friends having sex,” he briefly remembers his friend, bertholdt, on top of reiner, “it’s how they came out to me.”

you cackle, “oh my god!! they must’ve been mortified!!”

“they were, i felt so bad for walking in on them. now, it’s a funny joke since they’re both out to everyone,” he snickers, “now, where’s your favorite place on earth that you’ve been to?”

“a amusement park over in marley. snuck off with my first ever boyfriend there,” you stroke your brush once more, “or maybe the swimming pool in my parents house. anywhere that i can feel weightless.”

he hums in acknowledgment, “mine’s out in the forest probably. i like it quiet.”

“quiet is always nice. so, jean, have you ever had a girlfriend,” you laugh at jean’s face scrunch up from a childish question.

“yeah, i’ve had one. it went really well at first but it turns out that she likes girls. it hurt at first, cause i loved her, but i got over it. i’ve got no hard feelings against her, she can’t help liking girls. her and i are just really close friends now,” he has a fond smile on his face as he thinks of mikasa.

“i’m glad the two of you are still friends, and i’m sure that she appreciates your kindness to her,” you reciprocate a smile.

“me too. anyways, since you want to dive into my love life, let’s dive into your’s. have you ever been in love?”

you face heats up while you pause your movements, “y-yeah. not until recently though.”

jean’s eyes widen as his own cheeks flush a bright red, and for once he prays.

he prays that it’s him you’re in love with.

————

a month later and you still have the painting of a sunflower that jean did. it makes you embarrassed every time you look at it, even though jean didn’t know the meaning behind the flower.

you sit on the floor of the greenhouse, ignoring how the rain thumps gently on the glass roof. jean’s sitting beside you, leaning all of his weight on your body, which makes you laugh.

“you never told me what you’re planting,” he points out while adding more of his weight onto you.

you laugh while you shove him off of you, “i can’t with you on me like that.”

“well, now i’m not on you so,” he grins cockily, and you want to smack it off of him.

“okay, okay! i’m planting a primrose,” you say while you gently plant a seed into the soil.

“what’s the occasion?”

“what do you mean,” you raise a questioning eyebrow.

“my dad always got my mom those flowers on valentine’s day or for their anniversary. now, my mom puts them on his grave. it means ‘i can’t live without you’ or symbolizes young love,” he explains, “who’re they for?”

embarrassment hits you like truck. you were planting these for jean. whenever they were blooming, you were going to give them to him. thank god you didn’t.

you laugh nervously, “no one! i just felt like planting them! they’re pretty flowers.”

“whatever you say,” jean shrugs, heart tingling with pain.

whenever the flowers had bloomed, you stood at jean’s doorstep with the pot in your hands. your cheeks were hot as you stared at your feet, hoping to god that jean felt the same way towards you.

when jean opens his door, he doesn’t expect to see you holding the potted plant. you’d told him that it wasn’t for anyone and it wasn’t for him, so why’d you have it. did you want him to take care of it or something?

“for you,” you stumble over your words a bit while you thrust the pot against his chest.

it’s his turn to be embarrassed, these are for him! the flower is so pretty, full bloom and showing itself off towards the sun. jean hurries to place the pot on his living room coffee table, then he pounces.

his arms wrap around you and hold you close, his face is emitting a heat when he pulls away to look at you.

“me too,” you look at him confused, “i love you too.”

you feel like crying, for some reason this means the absolute world to you. you wrap your arms around his neck, not able to hold back the tears forming in your eyes.

“why didn’t you tell me sooner,” he laughs while squeezing you tight.

“i did,” your laughter is muffled until he pulls away.

“when?”

“since we met. granted, i didn’t expect to meet you that day. lilac means the start of a new love. and then i told you again when you painted the sunflower again. sunflowers mean pure love,” you wipe away tears as jean pulls you inside his house by your hand.

“i’m such an idiot,” he smacks a palm to his forehead, “that’s what you and sasha were laughing about when we met, wasn’t it?”

“yea,” you watch him lead you to his bedroom, somewhere that you’ve been to on many occasions.

he crawls into bed beside you, pulling you closer to him—if it were even possible. he’s littering your face with soft kisses that tickle your skin and make you giggle.

“what are you doing?!”

“i’ve been wanting to do this since i’ve met you, give me a break,” he mumbles against your skin, lips finally making contact with your’s.

the kiss is sweet like candy, and you almost can’t take it. you deepen the kiss without hesitation, surprising jean, who obviously reciprocates. you whimper against jean’s mouth whenever you grant him access to explore your own.

he pulls away, a shy look in his eyes that tells you exactly what he’s thinking.

“yes, jean. as long as you’re gentle,” you put a hand on top his cheek, stroking it gently.

he smiles before asking his next question shyly, “could we... do a different position? one that isn’t missionary.”

“jean, i’ve only had sex a few times. all were in missionary and were hookups. as long as it’s with you, i don’t mind what we do,” you reassure, scooting closer to him.

he’s surprised that his face doesn’t burst into flames, at this point.

“okay... could you... turn around,” your face twists into confusion, “you’ll find out.”

it sounds ominous, but since it’s jean, you don’t mind. you turn your back to him, shivering whenever his lips kiss at the nape of your neck. his chest presses against your back and he slips one of his arms under the arm against the bed.

his lips bite on your neck while his hands sliver their way up to your boobs. you sit up for a moment, pulling the loose shirt you were wearing off of your body. you shimmy your pants off while you’re at it, easily flopping back into jean’s arms.

god, he’s so close to fainting just from seeing you without clothes. especially when he realizes that you’re not wearing a bra.

his hands grope at your chest, rolling your nipples through his nimble fingers. you whimper shyly, hand coming up to grab at his own.

“cute,” he smiles whenever you look over your shoulder, the same hand drifting from your tit to the waistline of your panties.

his hand reaches inside your hand plain underwear as you willingly spread your legs open, something you’re secretly embarrassed about, but you decide to ignore it anyways. with hesitance, his fingertip comes in contact with your clit. you flinch at the contact and let out a gasp, once again squeezing at his hand.

“spread your legs wider for me, love,” he murmurs in your ear, nudging his wrist against your thigh.

you oblige silently, hooking your foot around the back of jean’s knee.

“good girl,” he smiles, two fingers gently pressing against your clit after he’s wet them with his spit.

you moan out whenever jean starts rubbing lazy circles into your clit and his other hand gropes at your tit. your hips buck forward on instinct, which has you biting your lip from embarrassment.

“can you try to keep your hips still for me,” he kisses at your earlobe, stubble scratching against your neck.

you nod to him, even if you both know that you won’t uphold that promise.

whenever his fingers move up a speed, so does the volume of your moans.

“jean,” you whimper, “i’m gonna cum.”

“it’s okay, you’ve been so good for me, my pretty girl. go ahead and cum,” he smiles against your skin, once again speeding up his tempo.

your nails are biting into his wrist as your hips start to buck almost uncontrollably. your head is thrown back while you open your mouth in a silent scream and your eyes roll back. jean slows his pace, helping you ride out your orgasm.

his smile stretches wider when he holds his fingers up to the light, admiring how the digits glistened in against the early morning sun peeking through the curtains. he also manages to take off your panties.

he puts the two fingers in your mouth once he’s done admiring them, cooing praises in your ear. a string of salvia is connect to his fingertips whenever he pulls them out of your mouth, making you whine in embarrassment. he chuckles and reaches his warm hand back down to your wet cunt.

you gasp at the coldness of your spit coming into contact with your heated entrance. his fingers enter you slowly and cautiously and it takes your breath away.

“you’re so tight,” still smiling, “when’s the last time you’ve gotten laid, pretty girl?”

“f-fuck... maybe like... six months ago,” you pant like a dog in heat.

“it’s good thing you’ve got me now, huh? gonna take care of you now.”

you’re squeezing your pretty eyes closed while you adjust to the feeling of two fingers inside of you. jean feels himself memorizes the look on your face in his brain whenever he gives a shallow thrust with his fingers. you wiggle your hips a bit, whining out for jean to give you more.

he does exactly that.

he starts to finger you slowly, eventually speeding up the speed as you get more and more used to the feeling. his fingers curl against your sweet spot that has you bucking your hips once again.

“there! there,” you buck again when he continues to brush over it.

angling his fingers just right, he starts to thrust and curl his fingers inside of you at the perfect speed.

“fuck! fuck! fuck!” you gasp whenever your toes start to curl.

“are you gonna cum again? it’s okay. go ahead and cum on my fingers, pretty girl,” he reassures while pecking at your neck lazily.

you come once again after a few seconds pass, legs shaking when jean doesn’t slow down his speed.

“can’t...! i can’t cum again,” you whimper while arching your back against jeans torso.

“i know you can,” he whispers, “gotta prepare you for my cock, remember?”

his filthy words make you mewl as you feel yourself already approaching another orgasm quickly. you scream whenever you orgasm again, hips jerking back and forth wildly as his other hand starts rubbing on your puffy little clit.

you’re crying from the intensity. you’re sure that if you’d be able to take all of this if you had fucked anyone these past six months.

instead of slowing down, jean actually speeds up his movements again. you know that you’re mascara might be smearing, you can’t remember if it’s waterproof, tear proof—what the fuck ever.

your legs convulse when jean manages to work you up to another mind blowing orgasm. but this time, you squirt all over jean’s hand and the insides of your plump thighs.

“there we go,” he praises, “that’s what i needed.”

he’s finally slowing his fingers down, and you wonder if they’re aching at the moment.

“thank you, thank you, thank you,” you babble as your nails scratch at his wrist.

“such a sweet girl, thanking me when i haven’t even trained you.”

your chest is heaving up and down while jean pulls his cock out of his pants, a moment’s rest.

you gulp whenever you see his dick. you didn’t believe sasha’s jokes whenever she said jean not only had a horse face but also a horse cock. how she knew, you didn’t ask, but either way she was right. you’d have to apologize to sasha for not heeding her warnings after this.

“don’t be scared, love. i’ll take care of you,” he comforts you while pulling your leg up a bit.

his fingers squeeze at the soft flesh that’s the back of your thigh, instructing you on how to insert himself in your tight little pussy.

after guiding jean’s cock in you, you sob out from just how much he fills you up already. you don’t take a pause, too eager to feel jean inside of you.

noticing this, jean hooks his arm around your thigh and grabs your hand. the angle has his hitting spots that he hadn’t before, pussy fluttering around his cock in effect.

“be patient,” he demands in a soft tone, his hand guiding your own, “i don’t want to hurt you.”

“don’t care, need you so bad,” you sniffle and wiggle your hips once more, ignoring the slight burn.

sighing, jean carefully thrusts the rest of his cock inside of you. you sob out in both pleasure and pain, hand now going back to scratching at his wrist.

“i told you, sweet girl,” you look at him from over your shoulder, “you gotta listen to me.”

“‘m sorry,” you whimper while jean kisses away a tear.

“t’s okay, now just wait until your comfortable,” he advises, unhooking his arm from your thigh and holding it with his hand.

it takes a minute or two, but jean is nothing but attentive during this. thumb stroking your thigh, lips kissing your neck and cheek, whispering quietly in your ear that you’re doing so well.

when you’re ready, he thrusts into you softly. he doesn’t want to hurt you, even when his dick hurts from not cumming. after seeing you’re alright with it, he thrusts more vigorously. with your skin slapping against one another’s tenderly and tits bouncing jean is groaning in your ear.

the hand not holding your thigh holds onto your boob, pinching your nipple and then rolling it in between his fingers again. the kisses he’s pressing against your shoulder feels so hot and sweet against your sweaty skin.

your whines and moans are so cute, begging for jean to cum at the same time you do and for him to come inside.

“you want my cum in you,” he pants, “anything you want since you’ve asked so nicely.”

he speeds his hips up just a bit, guttural groans coming from his throat as your pussy grips him like a vise.

“gonna cum, gonna cum,” you’re mewling almost makes jean black out.

“i’m right behind you, go ahead, love,” his eyebrows bunch together as he nears his orgasm.

after two more thrusts, the both of you are coming. jean’s groans are surprisingly starting to turn into soft moans, which is something you’ll try to get out of him another time.

after you both come down from your high, jean’s pulling his softening dick out of you. he lays on his backside, pulling your weak body on top of his chest with ease.

“love you,” he smiles and gives you a kiss.

“primrose love,” you smile goofily at him.

“primrose love.”

[mythicandco]

No one asked me to write this but fuck it I’m writing it anyways

Tendrils of blue still clinging to her hair, Anne’s eyes darted from where her friends were fighting to the now-revealed staircase into the dark. 

“Find Sasha and Marcy!” Yunan yelled, swiping at a toad robot and slicing it cleanly in half. Toadbot? Automatoad? “We can’t hold them off for much longer!” 

But Anne couldn’t move. Her lungs stopped working, and everything blurred for a few moments. Then she was running - down the steps, almost tripping over herself, her hair glowing more than it was before to illuminate the way. 

She stopped, panting for breath, at the bottom of the staircase. She could hear her own heart hammering in her chest, pounding through her brain, making everything spin. It was dark, even with a blue glow surrounding her. 

Blue light meets pink and Anne picks up the small piece of coral-shaped rock Sasha used... back before they knew about Andrias’ plans, or Marcy’s secrets, or anything, really. It made her guitar louder, if Anne remembers correctly.

It’s no big deal, yeah, no big deal~!

It’s almost a laughable memory, except it’s Anne’s last pleasant one involving her gir friends. 

(That was a typo. “G” and “F” are very close to each other on the keyboard, and I mixed up the “R” and the “I” in “friends”.)

That’s when she hears the sobs. 

A nondescript lump on the floor, wrapped in a tattered, dark red cloak. Her blonde hair has been messily cut to more than half it’s length, and a green hair pin is clearly visible even though her face isn’t. 

“...Sasha?” 

Anne takes a step forward, suddenly aware of how loud her footsteps are. She’s... never seen Sasha cry like this before. 

“I can’t do anything, Anne.” It’s mixed with tears, and her voice sounds so hoarse, so dry, like she’s been screaming yelling at something. “I’m absolutely useless.” 

The girl was suddenly aware of how cold the room was, the clamminess clinging to her skin like cobwebs, the smooth, frigidness of the floor she could feel even through her sneakers. Sasha looked up at her, bleeding from her nose and the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was red. She’d been crying for a while. 

“Sasha, what happened?” Anne’s voice was louder than she thought it’d be. She inhaled and tried again, quieter this time. “Where’s Marcy?” 

A bitter, dry laugh escaped Sasha’s throat, tears brimming in her eyes again. They seemed to flicker reddish-pink for a second, but Anne realized it was just the rock-coral guitar thing she was holding in her hand. It was warm, and rough, but also weirdly smooth where the edges cut clearly into little geometric angles in her palm. She squeezed it tightly, aware of her knuckles turning white. Anne’s ears started ringing and her heartbeat increased. 

“She’s gone. It’s hopeless,” the blonde somehow sank lower to the floor without straight-up laying down and pressing her face into it. She looked just about ready to dig herself a hole and never come out, with her hair a mess and the gleam in her eyes a desperate hysteria. 

And then Anne is aware of how everything smells - like burnt flesh, and blood, and salt, and... mint-chocolate chip ice cream? 

A dim orange glow appears behind Sasha. The blonde either doesn’t notice or has given up and doesn’t care. Interweaving wires and tubes appear around the walls of the room, and Anne’s stomach flips upside down. She’s pretty sure her lungs stop working again, too. 

The glow intensifies, and finally the silhouette of someone appears, sitting on a throne with tubes connected to it like puppet strings to a lifeless doll. Anne freezes, the chill of the room reaching her bones. She can’t move. 

For real this time. 

Eyes - too many eyes, TOO MANY EYES - open, one after the other, only serving to make the silhouette more defined. It’s face is illuminated just enough to make out human features - however everything above it’s mouth is covered in a shiny, dome-like helmet. 

No. 

No. 

No. 

NO.

Anne finally understands why Sasha - the bravest, strongest, most ruthless, apathetic person she knows - is a sobbing mess on the floor. 

“So you’re the Heart. Marcy had such fond memories of you.” 

And then there are more eyes, but these are in the wrong place because Marcy doesn’t have that many eyes and they were never that color but

THIS ISN’T MARCY ANYMORE.

Anne chokes on whatever she was going to say. Green flashes in her vision, and then blue. Blue, the color of sadness and the hottest of fires. Blue, the only color Anne can feel. 

There’s a shout, which is probably Sasha, but all Anne can see are those glowing orange eyes and that smile that doesn’t belong here, it belongs back home where they were all safe and in love, a smile that should never in a million years be attached to this thing that isn’t Marcy. 

“Go ahead.”

Something slams into her, and Anne and Sasha go sprawling across the floor. 

“What are you doing?” the blonde screams right in Anne’s ear, and she winces. A laugh that isn’t either of the girl’s (but sounds just a bit too familiar) booms across the space. 

“Cute, but really. Neither of you would let the other harm this precious human body.”

Anne looks into Sasha’s wide eyes and knows that’s true. She stands up and wobbly legs, and reaches out to help the other girl to her feet. Sasha stares up at her, but accepts the help. 

“What did you do to her?” Anne says, her voice sounding a lot closer to tears than she thought it would. There are wet lines on her face - when did she start crying? 

When did she stop crying?

“Exactly what it’s intended purpose was. Andrias was, admittedly... more excited and caught in the heat of the moment than he should’ve been, but this vessel has been far more useful than anticipated.” 

It’s Sasha’s turn to shout. “Give her back!” 

Anne hears the echo of her own words in her friend’s voice more than she hears just how hollow Sasha sounds, like she’s just talking normally with the volume turned way up. 

The thing inside of Marcy tilts it’s head at the girls, the cheeky smile gone in an instant. 

“I’ve waited for this for hundreds of thousands of years. I’m certainly not going to give it up just because you want me to.” 

Anne feels blue again, and this time is too fast for Sasha to stop her. A loud crack breaks the stifling, suffocating cold of the room and the orange eyes stop glowing. 

The room goes dark. A heartbeat passes. 

A scream - if that’s even the right word to describe it - goes off, and the whole room shakes. Anne swears she’s bleeding from her ears as she claps her hands over them in an ultimately useless attempt to block out the sound of a million smoke detectors going off and a thousand microwaves exploding. 

As soon as it starts, it stops. Sasha lets out a groan, and Anne’s hands curl into fists against the ground. When did she crumple to the floor? 

The room is one again illuminated only by Anne’s receding blue flames and the partially-crushed rock-coral in her hand. 

“Anne...” 

It’s not Sasha’s voice. 

The helmet is cracked, and it’s wearer is bleeding from a gash above their eye. Anne can’t really see anything from her angle, but it’s forcing Marcy to keep one of their eyes closed in order to prevent the blood from pouring into it. 

Anne hopes beyond hope, and fears beyond fear. Her voice is small, so quiet she can barely hear it in the dead silent room. 

“...Marcy?” 

[lunaekalenda]

i really enjoy your writing and i saw that your requests are open!

can i request a fic or a drabble about levi having a massive crush on y/n but later finds out she has a long term s/o (she doesnt really talk about her relationship) and levi tries to get over her but hes stubborn and he can’t ): BUT y/n gets cheated on by her s/o and levi is there for y/n as she heals and it becomes a REALLY slow burn kinda love (-: could be modern au or canon verse whichever you’re comfortable with

thank u sm in advance! i hope you have a great day <3

hiiii!!! thank you so much, i'm really happy knowing that you enjoy it! 🥺 and thats really cool omg!! i hope you like it and it was what you’ve asked for!!! (also I wrote a lot ajajja sorry i got inspired)

𝔠𝔯𝔲𝔰𝔥

❁ levi x female reader!

❁ maybe levi cursing a bit but nothing we haven’t seen before on him lol

❁ and some kicks but again nothing levi hasn’t done before lmao

"That was a good one!" Connie congratulates you when you're again on the floor. The Titan wood figure is now divided in two parts.

"Next time, be a bit more careful." Jean says, looking to the boys that are trying to fix the figure. "I think they will have a hard time fixing it." You blushed when you looked at the boys, both with their hands in their heads. You bowed at them, saying sorry, when they looked at you.

"But that was a-ma-zing." Sasha says. They all agree and Connie looks to the sky.

"I think it's time to eat. You coming?" you moved your head from one side to other.

"No. Jurian is waiting for me to eat." Connie moved his eyebrows and Jean looked with interest.

You usually don't like to talk about your relationship, but this three were your best friends, and you basically threatened them, telling them that if they opened their mouth you would crack them.

"Oooh, then have fun." Jean says. He and Connie smile to each other.

"And try to eat something more than the other’s mouth." Connie laughed right after saying that, and your ears blushed while you walked to the other exit. They waved their hands at you and you waved yours back. You could see Jurian's hair from where you were. But a hand on your shoulder stopped you.

"Oi, wait."

You recognized that voice. When you turned back, Captain Levi was there, looking at you.

"Yes, Captain?"

You were clueless, but Levi's brain was trying his best to form a coherent phrase.

"You're good at it. But next time, try not to break our training models, got it?" You blushed again, remembering the accident. He looked at you, and you thought he was disappointed, but he was totally hypnotized by the way your ears started to get a red color, along with your cheeks. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Try to be more careful next time, but just in the training."

"Yes, Captain Levi." He turned around and went back to the control point, were Hange was waiting for him.

"Wow Levi, that was by far the longest interaction between you two in years."

"Shut up, four eyes"

"I have never seen you so focused on someone."

Levi clicked his tongue, but Hange was right. He had a damn crush on you since you entered the Survey Corps. But, what really caught his attention, was your innocent appearance, that later did not agree with your fierceness in battle. He fell by the grace of your body as it moved through the trees, and your sweet smile every time you come across him. Your voice is driving him crazy and just thinking of all the times you cared for him makes his heart shake. He looks behind him before leaving the control station, making sure you’re gone.

Jurian was playing with a flower when you arrive. He kisses you cheek before holding your hand.

"Did you wait too much?" he moved his head, saying no.

"It's fine, don't worry."

You two walked in silence towards the cantine, but you never ate there. Jur knows a little field apart from the training camp where you can't be seen. He brought a bag with some food, so you sit on the field and start eating.

"How was the practice?" he asks. You swallow the tea and answer.

"It was fine. Levi came to notify me for breaking a figure." he laughs quietly.

You met Jurian on your second year on the Survey Corps. You were being examinated, they were about to decide in which squad they were going to assign you. Your amazing skills on titan elimination and the control of ODMG assured you a place in the best squads: Levi's, Hange's and Erwin's. If you could have chosen, you would choose Levi's, the Special Operations Squad, but the three captains decided to put you on Hange's squad. You're happy to be there, they are really good as captain and you feel comfortable, but you're not into capture titans and experiment with them.

Jurian was also a soldier trying to enter on one of the highest squads, but he didn't pass the test. He was assigned to a little squad on charge of the food and the carts. You started talking later that day, when he told you that you were lucky to join a squad, and somehow both of you started to see each other everyday, which ended in a relationship of four years and a half. You kept this in secret, because

a) the Survey Corps members are really gossip

b) you're not a fan of showing your private life to everybody.

But, that was your error.

Once you two finished eating, Jur said he had to do some training with his squad.

"Now?" he nods "I thought all the trainings were finished for today"

"It's a special one. You know, carts and that things." You nod. He kisses you fast before leaving. You start to walk towards your room. Not surprisingly, Connie is yelling at Sasha, and she's eating something that looks like an onigiri.

You shared a room with Sasha and Historia, but now that Historia left the Corps, Sasha and you sleep alone. Connie and Jean are always on your room, paassing time, and the four of you became a group.

"Sasha just open your mouth, I want to eat too!" she shakes her head. You sigh before unpacking the bag Jurian gave you, telling that he couldn't bring it with him to the training. At the end of the bag, you saw his belt, where the ODMG has to be fastened. You think that probably the training hasn't started yet. You make your way out of your room, almost colliding with Jean, who was about to enter.

"You're going somewhere?"

"I'll be right back, wait a bit!" You started to run towards the training camp. The captains advise not to go out at night, but without that belt, Jurian was unable to train.

"Where are you going?" Levi's voice scared you. You looked around, but you couldn't see him. "Up here." Your gaze runs to a tree. He's is perched on a large branch of the tree, leaning against the trunk. his Maneuvering gear still on. He goes down fast.

"I... I have to give this to somebody, Captain."

"Interesting... May I accompany you?"

If Levi goes with you, he will discover your relationship with Jurian, but if you say no, he probably distrust and lose all esteem he has for you. So you start telling him when you two start walking.

"It's for my boyfriend." his face freezes.

Right now, on Levi Ackerman's head, the remote possibility of you dating someone has gained weight.

"Boyfriend, huh?" he says. He's about to turn back, run and hit something, but he pressures himself to stay calmly. He knows he has now zero opportunities with you, but he keeps in mind the fact that maybe you two have just started and maybe that relationship is going nowhere.

“Yes. We’ve been together for four years.” Levi almost chokes on his saliva, but he hid it well. 

“Tch, I’m just accompanying you, you don’t have to explain to me.” He said. The truth is that hear you talking about your boyfriend hurts him, hurts a lot. But he has to know who is he. You two keep walking. “Wait, where is he? The boy dorms are on the other side.”

“He said he had a training now.” Levi frowned.

“In which squad is he?” He asked. You explained him the position of Jurian, and his eyes where serious. “There aren’t trainings now, and less of that squad. What the hell is he doing?” You looked at him, confused. Jurian is a good and honest guy, it’s impossible that he is lying. “Are you armed?” you shake your head. “Stay behind me and be quiet, got it?”. You nod and Levi starts walking in silence, followed by you. You could see the doors of the training zone from behind him, and two low voices could be heard. You frowned, trying to recognize any of them. One was laughing. It sounded like a woman.

Levi entered the training zone with silent steps, making sure you two aren’t exposed. He pulls a blade out of its sheath, silently, and makes his way to the control station, where a lamp is on. He walks until he’s in front of the door, the voices now can be heard.

“Is it okay, Rian? I mean, your girlfriend...”

“I told you a hundred times she’s so obsessed with being a good soldier and enter Levi’s squad that she’s useless for me. At least she’s pretty and it’s on a good squad.” That voice... That was Jurian. Your boyfriend. The boy you have been dating for the past four years and a half.

And the boy that is cheating on you.

You started crying. You didn’t care about Levi being in front of you our the people inside the cabin. Levi looked over his shoulder to make sure you’re okay. His gaze went a little bit more sweet when he saw you were crying.

He opened the door with one kick, making the two of them yell. Jurian hugged the girl, and you recognized her. She was also in the cart squad.

“What the heck?”

“Tch, I see now.” Levi takes the belt from your hands, and he trows it in front of Jurian. “For this type of training, you don’t need a belt, you bastard.” Levi put his blade again on its sheath. “Do you have something to say?”

“We... wait, why is she here?” He looks at you. Your anger starts to rise at lightning speed.

“You’re a disgrace, Jurian”

“Oh, wait, she’s your girlfriend? I thought it was the girl you were kissing a year ago.” The girl says. You look at her.

“What?” A year ago? So this is not new? You feel your tears running. Levi clicks his tongue once again.

“Look, bastard. You’ll  be cleaning horse shit from now on, and I’ll put in your position someone who takes his job seriously and does not dedicate himself to being unfaithful and flirting with all the women of the regiment”

Jurian opened his mouth before starting to yell.

“You’re no one to give me orders! and I will not tolerate disrespect towards my person withou...”

“I’m tired of hearing you.” Levi kicked Jurian’s knee with strength, making him fall. He growled. “Now, do what I said, because I’ll remind you in case you have forgotten: I’m your Captain. I can give you orders and beat your ass up if you’re being disrespectful towards a comrade.” he says. Jurian tries to get up, failing a couple times, and the girl he was with runs before being scolded by Levi. “Now go.”

“But I’m taking my girlfriend with me.” he says.

“I’m not your girlfriend.”

“We haven’t broke up yet.”

“Huh?” Levi asks. “Do you think she wants to see your face again? Let's go." He says to you. You nod.

"You're really going with him without hearing an explanation?" Jurian says from the floor. You stop, looking at him, but Levi reaches your hand.

It's well-known that Captain Levi avoids all type of contact, so his hand holding yours surprised you. You followed him, letting Jurian behind. Once you have walked a while, Levi stops.

"Are you okay?" he asks. You have your eyes wet, almost crying again. Levi remembers his hand on yours and lets it go. "Well, I'm sorry you saw that."

"Better for me watching it. At least now i know he wasn't a good guy."

"He's a bastard and he doesn't deserve a girl that cares that much." he says. You look at him but he starts to walk again. You follow him. "Go straight to your room, talk with your friends and rest a bit." he says. "I'll go notice Erwin about the use of the training camp on free hours." You nod and Levi scans your face. "You're okay?" he asks again. You nod and show him a little smile. He turns back.

That smile was about to kill him. You returned to you room, the three voices yelling could be heard from outside.

"We should go and search her!" Sasha says.

"But she's with her boyfriend, let her have fun" This time is Connie

"But don't you think she has been outside for a while?" Jean agrees with Sasha. You open the door and the three of them sigh. "How was it?" Jean asks. Your eyes are still wet and your breath isn't rhythmic.

"He was cheating on me. For years." They all looked at you. Connie and Sasha shared a gaze before hugging you. "Did you said something to he?"

"Fortunately, Captains Levi was with me... I'll have to thank him tomorrow." Jean moved his enormous body to yours, and covered you with a hug after Sasha and Connie ended. Your friends, well, you four had a special friendship, and you couldn't be more thankful for having them by your side.

The next day, when you knocked on the official's room searching for Levi, Hange smiled at you.

"He went today on a little expedition with Erwin. He's going to return on a couple hours. Do you want to help me cleaning the titan's place while you wait?"

You didn't want, but Hange looked so happy you couldn't say no. After a couple hours, nobody told you two that the expedition came back. An hour later, there was no sign of return. Another hour later, you two were about to lose your nerves when a cadet entered running.

"Only fifteen from the twenty that went are back, and all of them are injuried, we need help!"

Hange and you ran from the titan's experiment zone to the improvised hospital. There, a lot of soldiers where laying on beds, with several injuries. Levi was leaning against the wall. You walked towards him and he looked at you.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Are you okay?" you asked at the same time. You had that natural impulse to worry about everybody, but now that Levi helped you, you felt a debt to him.

"I'm okay." he says, but he has a long cut in the abdomen, it even tore his shirt from the deep.

"Would you let me help, Captain? I have a little knowledge of injuries, and the one on your abdomen looks bad." He looked at it and clicked his tonge.

"If it is okay for you..." He walks to a empty room and sits on the bed. You look at him, examinating the cut. "Do you need me to undress?" he asks. You nod silently and he starts to unbotton his shirt. His head was a mess. He's not working with normality since he's about to have your hands on his nude body. "Just the shirt, no?" you look at the cut now that it is discovered. A little bit of it is hidden under his pants, but nothing to die for. You nod again while threading the needle. "Have you stitched a wound before?"

"Yes, I helped Connie and Jean a couple times." Levi looks at you, but when you turn around and your eyes meet, he looks through the window. You clean his wound with a little bit of water before start stitching it. You work on silence and Levi is really quiet, not like the other two boys. You let your eyes look his skin. It isn't smooth or soft, full of scars and poorly healed wounds. You kept working on the cut, Levi's face showing pain. His skin was hot against your fingers. Captain Levi has been always a role model for you.

His abilities on battle and the way he speaks to you make you think of him as a true captain. Connie is lowkey scared of him and Sasha says that he's superior to all the army together. Levi could be distant sometimes, but you never experienced that before. The way he always assists your kills and helps you when you're in danger says a lot about him. His grey eyes were fixed on your face, concentrated on making a good work on his skin.

"Does it hurt?" you ask, your voice lowered because of the concentration.

"No." he simply answers. You where about to end stitching. Once you're finished, you cut the restant thread and clean it a bit with water. "Thanks."

"Thanks to you, Levi." his heart shaked. You didn't use Captain before his name. You where treating him like a person, not like a superior. "For helping me yesterday."

"It was nothing." he says, simply. He pulls a shirt out of a nearby ark and dresses carefully. "So you wanted to enter my squad?" he asks, trying to lighten the mood. You look at him, surprised. It's the first time Levi tries to hold a conversation and he remembers what Jurian said yesterday night.

"Yes, that's why I worked so hard." you explain. Jean, Connie and Sasha are part of it, and with Levi as the Captain, they were recognized everywhere. "I really admire the way you fight and help the soldiers. I really wanted to be part of the Special Operation Squad." His face is serious, but he's regretting telling Hange inside. They were who told Erwin, and Erwin decided to put you on a squad where Levi has no business, to avoid him from get distracted or give his life for yours. Damn.

"Actually, I need someone with your strength on battle." he says. He's lying, with him and Mikasa in the same squad... "Move to our squad with your friends." he sounds indifferent, but he's so nervous his soul is about to leave his body. You looked directly at him, happy.

"For real?" That expresion, oh man. You have destroyed the Captain with it. You are so beautiful, looking at him with your eyes sparkling from happiness. "She's so close" he thinks, but then he retracts himself. "No, Levi, no." He just wanted to hug you and tell you he was going to reach you no matter what, and be there for you every time you needed him. He (surprisingly) wanted to kiss you softly to feel you melt against his body and look at your eyes sparkling for the rest of his life.

But he nods. He just nods. You smile at him and bow in signal of respect. "Thanks, Captain!"

"I'll talk to Hange, don't worry about it. Oh, and you can call me Levi. Formalisms are only for threathening." You let out a quite laugh. He kind of smiles, and you tell him how he should take care of the stitches ("I had my wounds stitched before, y/n") before leaving to tell your friends you four are going to train together starting next week.

Hange was sad because you left their team, but they were also happy because a boy who really likes titans entered on your place. In any way, you promised Hange to keep in touch with them.

The trainings with Levi's Squad were hard, but they where worth it. The first day, Levi told you to watch their training, and you were amazed by the way they train. Connie and Sasha making double surprise attacks; Jean and his superior ODMG control and leadership; Eren learning to use his titan form with Mikasa having his back, and Armin making strategic plans on a second. And Levi. The grace of his body, the speed and the strenght, the precision of his cuts. The first day you trained, Levi destined you to Jean's sub-captaincy, but, when he was observing you, he thought maybe you where the one with whom he could make the most effective double maneuvers. So you two started to train together, as a team of two. At first it was difficult for you, Levi is just a born soldier, and your abilities have been born of effort. But, you learned from him, and you quickly joined his movements. He was surprised by the way you understood his next movements without telling you. Months later, you two are on complete sync. He's comfortable with you, but the fact that now he talks with you every day, spend every single minute with you and also works with you is making him go insane. All this months of couple training and couple missions made you understood that Levi really cares for all of you, from Eren to Sasha, and he's having your back on every kill, on every assistance, on everything. All the times you ran out of gas or your blades weren't working well. When a titan tryied to kill you or the times you cried because of the death of your comrades. All those times, he was there for you, holding your hand, letting you cry on his neck or smiling to you after a good mission. The fact that, for the first time, you had someone who understands you and who really cares for you by your side, make your heart flutter.

"You're not going to ask her out?" Hange asked Levi. He clicked his tongue but stayed on silence. On the other hand, Jean was following you to your room.

"You like Levi." he said. You blushed and looked at your friend.

"N-No! Jean, the fuck?!" He laughed but raised an eyebrow in your direction.

"Oh, come on! I'm your best friend, you're obviously falling for the Captain. And I bet he's attracted to you." Your blush increased. But, maybe you liked Levi? You thought. It wasn't impossible. He always treated you so good, and his attractive face and his perfect body... Maybe you were falling slowly for the Captain... For the way you feel protected, important and adored when he fights with you, or the intimacy when you heal each other after a mission. The way he talks to you, and he listens all your ideas. You feel somehow important when he's areound you. Jean smiled slowly. "Go and tell him." You looked at your best friend with surprise. "You like him, for godness sake, you should tell him!" All this months, a little love flame has been increasing on your heart, little by little, but Jean's words made you realice you're about to burn.

You like Levi. You like your Captain.

"And if he rejects me?" Jean laughed before hugging you.

"Then he's a dork. But then keep things profesional. But I'm 100% sure he feels the same. Now go!" You follow Jean's advice and search Levi on the trees, were he was standing guard four months ago. You found him on the same tree, in the exact same position. He laughs when he sees you.

"You're going to return a belt?" he asks. You laugh while he goes down the tree. You shake your head.

"Actually I was searching you." Your hands were sweating and you couldn't make eye contact. He noticed that.

"It's everything okay?" He asked. You nod.

"It's just... What do you think of Captain-Subordinated relationships?"

"They have to be respectful to each other, I guess... Wait, did I made something wrong" You shake your head. Damn, this was hard. Killing a titan was a hundred times easier. "Then?" he was running out of patience.

"Maybe I started liking you, Captain Levi."

He had to blink twice. All the little Levi's working on his head were about to start a fire on his brain. "What?" he asked. His hands were about to tremble, but he hid it while asking you again. "What did you said?" You looked at him, but his face was unreadable, as usual.

"That I like you. Romantically talking. I just wanted to tell you, but now we can keep things profesional and this never happened, but I wanted to be honest with you and with myself." You stretch your hand towards him, and he keeps looking at you, but then he starts laughing. You don't understand anything. Like why the hell is he laughing? Does he think a love declaration is funny? But he looks at you.

"For years, I liked you for five fucking years. I still like you. Hange told me to forget you but I was unable. So I guess all my effort has been rewarded with a caring and pretty girl?" You laugh nervous, is he pranking you? But he's serious. His hand takes yours, but he pulls you towards him. "I cared for you and tried to call your attention, and then discovered you where with that boy. But you didn't deserve what he dis to you. I wanted to kick his soul out so bad. Why he, that had you, was looking for others and make you feel bad? Tch, he was lucky you were there." His hands searched yours. "I'm not a huge fan of physical contact, but every time you healed me I just could think of your hands in all my body. And sorry, but I really like you."

You both stayed in silence for a bit. So it was corresponding? And now? You're dating? You're going to keep things distant?

"So you think we should keep things like we have been doing?" He frowned.

"The hell, y/n? No. If we both like each other, isn't that how relationships start?" he was right. "Unless you don't want to."

"I was the one telling you first, of course I want."

"Cool. Should we discuss this drinking a cup of tea?" He asks. You nod before taking his hand, and looking for his reaction, you tangled your fingers with his. He smiled and took you hand to his lips.

"Let's go, Levi."

[theyscreamjade]

Who’s Your Captain?

So! YALL know how much of a hoe I am. I couldn’t just aim for Hange and not give Levi some love. I’m short as fuck too..so, let’s not act as if I’m tall or anything...So! I had to do some hoe things and just..have some fun. Also, My guy @husband-to-tomura-shigaraki is in here~

Disclaimer: Smut! 18+

Kinks: Exhibition, Public Play, Over Stimulation, Jealous Sex.

It was a sticky, hot summer night when we decided to make camp from our escapade. With the Titans nearly obsolete, We finally had a chance to explore the outside world. The fireflies glowed while I changed into a pair of black shorts and a tank top, having my hair in a high sun while the long sunset still glowed in the sky.

“Hey Jade! Dinner’s ready!” Hayden said as I walked out from my tent. “Good, I’m starving.” I said, stretching a bit. I walked over to the bonfire, putting my cape back on as I could feel eyes on me. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw Jean’s eyes quickly snap from my view. I raised my eyebrow in curiosity before shrugging it off.

“Here you go, I made my famous stew!” Hanji said as I cheered softly. “Good, I’m starving!” Sasha said, sitting beside me on the large log. Once all the bowls were individually handed out and our feasting began, the excited Sasha and of course the first to ask for seconds declared something.

“We should play a game!” She said, holding her second bowl. “We can play a game when you’re done eating, you’ll spit all over us.” Connie commented as she rolled her eyes.

“We always had to be quiet while we’re out here but now! We can be as loud as we want and not have to worry about a single thing.” She said happily as Hanji stood up.

“She’s right! Oh, I have a game.” They said before walking to their tent. After a few minutes, I sat my bowl aside as Hanji walked back, holding a cup with a cup full of bottle caps. “Everyone dunk their hand in and pick out a bottle cap, whoever picks out the one with a crown on it. They’re the winner and control anyone they please with a limit of three.” She said as Sasha’s eyes sparkled.

“I have a bad idea about this..” Armin commented softly before following suit with everyone else. I looked at Coca-Cola lid and held it up, showing everyone as Jean held up the crown.

“Well, Your royal highness. You have three people to command to do as you please.” Hanji reminded before sitting on the log again. A small smirk formed on his lips as he turned to Eren. “I command you go swim in the lake.” He said as Eren looked at him with the best shocked face. “What?! No! I’m not going to do that! That’s stupid!” He screamed.

“It’s the rule Eren, you must follow them.” Mikasa said as she downed her water. “Just be a good sport and follow what the king says.” Connie said softly as Eren growled in anger. “Fine!” He snapped as he stood up.

He stormed off, walking toward the lake as we followed like a duck and a bunch of baby ducklings. Once he arrived, he snatched his shirt off as he looked at the cool lake water. “I fucking hate this..” he said to himself before jumping in with a large splash.

He soon jumped back out, splashing a bit at how cold it was. Hayden giggled softly, holding a towel for him while I laughed watching them. “What the you brats doing?” A voice asked, sending chills down my spine while making my heart flutter.

I turned around, seeing Levi stand a few inches away from us. He soon walked over to the group as they salute to him. “You know I could hear you guys from my tent.”

“Sorry sir, We’re just playing a game! Wanna join us?” Sasha asked eagerly as Levi looked at her. “I don’t play games.”

“Oh, don’t be such a sour puss! Here, take a bottle cap and join us!” Hanji said holding the cup to him while shaking it. Levi gave me a small glance before taking a cap out as well, earning a squeal from Hanji. “Well, looks like your king still Jean. Who’s next?” Hanji asked.

Jean looked as Sasha as she quickly threw a potato from her hands as it landed in the lake with a loud plop.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as Sasha huffed in annoyance. “I swear Jean, I’m going to destroy you when I’m king.” She said, lifting her leg up as she gained her balance. “My name is Sasha and I’m the meat and potato queen.” She said before putting her makeshift leaf crown on as we laughed. “N-Now that’s funny!” Connie said as Eren laughed with him.

Sasha snatched the ridiculous outfit off along with the crown, sitting beside me. “Jade?” Jeans said, catching me off guard. “Yes, your majesty?” I asked, standing while doing a bow to him.

“I believe I deserve a smooch from you, don’t you think?” He said as my eyes widened. “A smooch? i-I don’t know about that.” I said, trying to hide my nervousness before looking at Hange as if I’m saying ‘Help me.’

Only a few people knew about Levi and I’s secret relationship which was honestly preferred from both of us. I never liked labels and Levi liked privacy, it was a win-win. Eren, Hayden, Hange, Erwin and lastly Mikasa knew but only because she accidentally barged in while we did the dirty on his desk one night.

“Come on, Just one. That’s all I ask from my gorgeous queen.” Jean said, standing over me as he leaned down. “Come on, Jade! Just give him one!” Connie said as Sasha nodded. “I had to do that stupid dare! You can do this!” She said as Jean moved closer.

I sighed, placing my hands on his cheeks and pulled him close. I placed my thumbs over his lips quickly before kissing him. After a minute, I pulled away as Eren’s completely shocked face read my fate tonight. While everyone replaced the lids back in the cup, I glanced at Levi who stared at me with absolute glare in his eyes.

His silence sent chills down my spine as the game continued until the third person declared that they’re going to bed, before I knew it. Levi and I were alone.

The intense silence and tension so thick that you could cut it as I stared at the slowly dying flame before standing. “I’m gonna get some rest, you should too.” I said, walking toward my tent. A calloused hand grabbed my wrist, catching me off guard as Levi stood up slowly. “Let’s go talk.” He said, pointing towards a nearby cliff.

Damn my submissive ass.

I opened my mouth to make a excuse before he gave me a tug, leading us away from the campsite. I silently prayed that no one would see us or a Titan randomly appear as he lead us away. We stepped down off the cliff, we were away from everyone else and the only thing behind him was open plains of thick grass.

“Okay, what did you want to talk a-“

I gasped, my body colliding with thick rocky under the cliff as his face was inches from mine. “You think you’re just going to get away with kissing my cadet?” He asked a growl in his voice as my eyes widened.

“I-I-“

“I didn’t say speak now, did I?” Levi asked, his hand pinned my wrists over my head as his other touched my hip, fiddling with my tank top while his dark orbs stared deeply into mine. “You’re were such a fucking tease, huh brat? Wearing this and then kissed Jean, no wonder he couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” He said before spanking my ass before gripping it.

“What do you have say?” He asked, while I struggled to keep a moan in. “I-I did...I-didn’t mean to wear this, I-it’s hot and I-I-“ I tried to say as he chuckled.

“It’s funny how you’re usually able to speak your mind but when I have you like this, you’re a stuttering.” He retorted, stopping my excuse. His hand released my wrists, snatching my cape off as his lips slammed against mine.

I moaned softly against his passion, tugging his black silky locs as he scooped me up as if I was weightless. Our bodies moved closer as if he wanted to fuse us into one as the kiss was broken and he latched into my neck, biting and sucking around my collar.

I bite my finger while trying to hide my excitedly, hell I started getting wet when I heard his voice. He had that power over my body. I knew I had to keep it down and hoped no one would even step this way but it was hard with Levi, especially when he knew your body like the back of his hand.

I flinched, feeling two fingers push inside my wet core as I stifled out a moan. “You’re so fucking wet...I wonder who has you like this, nearly drenched for them..” he growled in my ear while pumping his fingers roughly. My right hand gripped his wrist to try and slow him down while my mouth was agape, gasps seeping in while I tried my hardest to keep my moans in but damn it was hard with Levi motherfucking Ackerman.

“What’s wrong? You’re close? You’re close to cumming for me?” He teased while smirking at me. My knees buckled a bit as his left hand lifted my tank top up, pinching my nipple as my moan finally slipped out. The moment his fingers curled, that’s what did it. I couldn’t keep them in, my moans slipped out like small gasps and were only low enough for him to hear before he pulled his hand out of me right as soon as I was about to climax.

My legs were like jelly, nearly losing my balance as I looked at him shocked. “What’s wrong? You wanted me to keep going?” He asked as I nodded quickly. “Why should I let you cum? Especially how you acted today?” He asked while picking my cape off the ground.

“I-I’m sorry, but Levi please. I’m begging you, l-let me cum!” I gasped out, my clit stinging in disarray while I whined softly.

“You said I-“

“Daddy, Please make me cum!” I cried out loud enough for him to hear, closing my eyes while panting softly. “Please make me cum and I won’t do it ever again!” I added as everything moved in a swift movement. My shorts dangled off my ankle that held high in the sky while my other leg barely held up on the ground. I wasn’t even able to adjust to his thick size as he slammed deep inside me.

My wetness drizzled down my legs while my hand touched his hips to slow him down while he hovered over me. “F-Fuck..T-T-Too deep! Fuck me!” I whined, my nails gripping his abs as he ignored my pleas. God someone’s going to hear us, someone’s gonna find out. Someone’s gonna know.

My first climax rushed past as the second was approaching full swing. My legs wobbled before he snatched my other up, letting the other down as I instinctively wrapped them around his waist as I pulled him close. “Look at you, in absolute bliss all because of me..” he growled while smirking, I knew he was. Levi could get cocky at times and fuck was he good at it.

“Who can get you like this, Brat? Who’s Captain of this pussy? Who does it belong to?” He asked, while my nails gripped his shoulders. “Y-you! It belongs to you! It’s Levi Ackerman’s! I-It’s yours!” I screamed, unknowingly while my eyes rolled back. My tongue slipped out, I sucked in deep and quick gasps as my climax slammed into me like a crashing wave.

My toes curled as I squeezed him, squirting all over him. His moan echoed in my head while he gripped my hips, slamming himself inside me at a rough pace until he climax, his tip filling me up while we pant in unison.

Once we calmed down, I moved my hands off his shoulders and kissed his nose. “Were you jealous?” I asked suddenly as he scoffed. “I don’t get jealous over stupid things like that, I knew that kiss wasn’t anything.” He responded while I gave him my best ‘really’ face.

“I just didn’t like the fact he was all over you, if our relationship is public or not. He should understand boundaries.” He finished, setting me back on my feet, grabbing my shorts. “And you are jealous because someone kissed your secret girlfriend, don’t worry Levi. I understand.” I said slipping them on as I fixed my shirt.

“I’ll talk to him in the morning and settle t-“

“Oh Daddy!” Someone moaned in a mocking tone as we paused. My eyes grew as big as saucers as I looked up from the cliff as Eren, Jean and Connie all poked their heads out. “Go captain! Get some!” Eren commented as embarrassment flooded through my body. I looked at Levi as he looked at them with a look he usually gave to Titans, the silent rage in his eyes as he spoke.

“You’re all dead.”

[b0rista]

— 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄, 𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀, 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍, & 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐎 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐃. ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: language, because i can't form sentences without using "fuck" every other word JDJD.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: i only made this modern because i desperately wanted to include marco to the fullest leave me aloneEffsg. gn! reader, and i went pretty lengthy on this one so beneath the cut is where the headcanons start :)

𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓: bearbrickjia on instagram!

by far, the best friend group to have. everyone balances one another out, and it's a perfectly imperfect mesh of teenagers.

there's jean, the group's centerpiece. he's the alpha of the posse, usually working as their own personal line leader whenever they're caught doing something as a group. he'll never admit it, but he's also the dad friend. of course, he's more of a "i wish i never gave birth to you oh my god please leave me alone also i love you" type than the stereotypical dad friend.

there's marco, the glue holding the group together. unsurprisingly, he's the calm, kindhearted support system that balances out the cokeheads, keeping them all sturdy. without a doubt, the group would fall apart without him. they need him, okay!! and by "them," i mean jean and yourself. marco, never change.

following up, there's connie & sasha, the wonder twins. their roles are pretty self explanatory, given their natural rambunctiousness. they're the two that hang out outside of the group the most, for obvious reasons. they're the crackhead siblings that bring life to the group, despite the hot water they typically land the others in. through their antics and their comic relief, they're irreplaceable. still, it's easy to want to strangle them sometimes.

next, there's you! because you're the reader, i won't name any specifics, but you're greatly cherished. you mark your place in the crew through various ways, having a unique relationship with each and every member. when he's in need of a breather outside of his typical nest (AKA marco), jean hits your line. if you're needing any kind of assistance with literally anything ever, marco's there to help. craving some chaos? bitch, connie & sasha have GOT YOU.

the main hangout spot is jean's house, 100%. not only has his mom practically adopted the whole squad, but there's only two people living there, so it isn't crowded. connie banned literally all four of you from his place, lmao. there was too many people there, and his family lives to humiliate him.

the group has this one policy, set down by yourself and jean: four piece maximum. this is directed solely towards sasha, of course, considering her tendency to raid her friends' fridges entirely of any food. if she's ever caught rummaging through a fridge for longer than necessary, it's the home owner's duty to shout, "four piece minimum!"

^ it never fails to startle her 😭. one time, she hit her head so hard on the fridge ceiling at jean's house she had to use a bag of frozen peas to soothe the swelling.

then, she proceeded to eat the thawed out peas. jean gagged.

the inside jokes? endless. all it takes is one word from a single event, and the five of you are losing your shit. it's cute, to be honest, how overzealous you all get from a single instance from months ago.

"ha. heh. hee."

"what is it?"

"ngGhh,, chEDDAR TIDDIES-"

"AHHHHHAGAGSHHDJF-"

if there are any inside jokes formed between two group members that isn't shared with the rest of them, there will be immediate bitterness. one time, you and sasha were giggling to yourselves over some druggie named jerry who'd tried selling baskets of rotten cherries to the two of you during a gas station haul— the boys were not having it. what the fuck were you doing without them, "friends"?

right before starting your guys' senior year of highschool, the five of you were on a group facetime when you all sent your schedules into group chat. due to the scarceness of your soon-to-be-majors, absolutely none of you had any classes together. you had a single lunch period with connie while marco had one with jean, but that was about it. it was,, a dramatic discovery. sasha fucking screamed.

"i have nothing with nobody!"

"calm down, sash-"

"you have lunch with y/n! LUNCH! that's my place, lunch. this is despicable, this is evil, this is a braus hate crime-"

yeah, she didn't take it that well. it's okay, doe. the four of you made a special effort during your passing periods, giving sasha enough of a fix for her to make it through each and every day.

it isn't like the five of you don't hang out outside of the classroom, either!! if you hadn't already made plans during that week, the weekend is where you absolutely thrive as a group. study sessions that always shift into exclusive house parties, lunches spent at your favorite places, the occasional visit to the movie theater, and so on. with a mini crowd like that, it's hard for any of you to get bored.

jean's hopeless crush on mikasa is a big factor in your friendship. when everyone minus marco (because he's an angel) isn't mercilessly teasing him, you're all trying to actually help the fucker score the girl. from talking him up obnoxiously enough whereas she'll hear, or flat out telling her to give him a chance, it's an actual effort. though, it's unfortunately all to no avail. shawty's too smitten with eren to even consider her options.

^ with that being said, the four of you have to give jean the "there are other fish in the sea" scoop more often than you'd like to admit.

group cuddles. that's that.

because he's the tallest and therfore the longest (probably, depending on your height), everybody has a chosen body part of jean's to latch onto during naps. connie has one leg while you have the other, and sasha keeps her head rested on his shoulder. marco's at the very bottom, entangling his legs in your own. somehow, this is heaven for jean. he'll never admit to it, though. as far as any of you are concerned, he HATES IT.

ranking from #1 as the best and #5 as the worst, these are the rated group therapists: ⇩︎

#1: marco. self explanatory, he's an amazing listener and provides supremely good advice. that, and he'd literally rather die than let any of his friends internalize anything they're dying to let loose.

#2: you. really, you're just a lot better than jean or connie. sasha's okay at it, but she's not the best at rationalizing, leaving you at second best. basically, when marco isn't available, you're where the freak shows go. marco goes to you about things, too.

#3: sasha. again, she's just a loT better than the final two. sasha's a sweetheart! she's empathetic, and nonjudgmental. we love her in this house.

#4: connie. also somewhat of a sweetheart, although not as much as sasha. he'll drop a shit ton of humor into serious conversations, making them just a tad bit more tolerable.

#5: jean. look, he's a great friend! however, he isn't all that empathetic, and he'll have some trouble understanding. still, he would try his hardest to make you or the other three feel better :,)).

in a modern universe, i know damn well connie's a half-assed stoner 30% of the time. he doesn't light up all that often, and he doesn't tell anybody about it, even you guys. mainly because marco will grill him for it DJFK. however, you stumbled upon his mini marijuana stash and he was like ahh, shit. you didn't really care doe, his secret is safe with you. you, however, now have DIRT on him.

matching bracelets that you all made for eachother yEars ago but never wear 🥺🥺.

many, many, many poly relationship jokes. only jokes, though. some people take it too literally, which y'all just laugh at.

there's a miniature rivalry going on between you and another nearby friend group: reiner, bertholdt, annie, ymir, and christa. of course, all of you are friends, it's all fun in games— most of the time, anyway. it's a funny rivalry, and you guys go at it quite a bit.

one of your guys' most intense debates is whether or not marco has freckles on his dick.

he,, refuses to show any of you, or even anSweR you.

"you act like we can't just check whenever we use the urinals, man."

"CONNIE-"

now, marco refuses to go to the bathroom at the same time as any of the boys <\33.

the group band? black eyed peas.

[biggest-stupidhead]

Hi! :D I saw that request are open, soo can you do a reader x levi where reader and reiner were a couple, but she found out about him being the armor titan and now she is a mess and levi is making her forget about reiner or something like that, pretty please? 🥺

Oooo I like it :)

Summary: Reader is heartbroken with the revelation of the identities of the Armored and Colossal titans. 

Word Count: 1.8K

__

You sat numbly at the dining room table. It had been one day since Reiner and Bertolt revealed their secret. You and the others were still in shock, denial even for some of you. Connie sat to your left, his face in his hands, shoulders slumped. Levi and Hange had left you and the others alone to update the commander on the current situation. It felt wrong, to be without the blonde, someone who had slipped into your heart and become a constant in your life effortlessly. Someone you trusted implicitly with all your heart, he had been more than a comrade to you. More than a friend even, the two of you shared countless nights under the stars during your cadet days, talking about anything and everything. But now you wandered if it was all an act, an elaborate scheme to blend into the ranks, seem human. Because no human being could slip between roles the way that they had. But he had felt human when you kissed him, held him, talked to him. 

“Your turn to be on duty.” Sasha said, coming into the small space, shotgun slung over her shoulder. Mikasa held an armful of kindling, which she set near the stove before turning to retreat into the back room where Eren was resting. 

“Okay Sash.” Connie said, his tone deflated and dull. Sasha handed you the shotgun and Connie shrugged a cloak on, pulling the hood over his head as the two of you walked out into the night. You stood on the makeshift towers that had been constructed, looking up at the same stars that you’d gazed at with Reiner ages ago. It was all so fresh, the sting of the steam hitting your face as they transformed, the clap of thunder. The way he had begun throwing titans left and right with no regard for his former comrades, for you. All of you had nearly died in the fiasco, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him. No you were just plain hurt. Connie perked up beside you, pushing his hood down when the sound of hooves thundering down the deserted path became clear. 

“They’re back.” Connie stated the obvious as he climbed down the tower, you followed him. Once the superiors arrived you took the reins of their horses and rushed to put them away, eager to hear your next orders. With the horses fed and watered you both ran back into the cabin. You hung the rifle by the door and Connie threw his cloak onto one of the coat hooks. The others had already gathered at the table, Historia sat at the head of the table, a humble meal was prepared and placed on the table, soup and stale bread as always. You listened as Historia told you her story, of her true identity and what that meant for all of you. Levi and Hange informed you that the government was fed up with the scouts and planned to punish Erwin Smith. Everything was falling apart, the little family that you had found was about to come crumbling down once more. As soon as Levi gave the order for all of you to go to bed, the cadets fled to the two rooms, one for the girls the other for the boys. Hange left once more, something about checking up on the pastor and keeping Erwin company. You were doing dishes with Armin who was drying them with shaky hands. 

“Go to bed, I can finish this.” You assured him, wanting to be alone and do a mindless task to help you dissociate. 

“I couldn’t-” 

“I need this Armin, just go to sleep.” You came across a bit hostile but at the moment you couldn’t care less. He frowned but set the towel aside and retreated with slumped shoulders. Levi cleared his throat from behind you as he came back into the kitchen. You didn’t even spare him a glance as he reached into the cupboard for the tea leaves, he filled the tea pot with water and began to boil the water. As he waited he sat at the kitchen table in silence. 

“Finish those and head to bed.” His cold voice made you jump a bit, due to the randomness of his order. 

“Yes sir.” You answered as you scrubbed at the ancient dishes. Your hands were sore, they had been burned during your assault on Bertolt. The bandages were wet now, the salve Hange had applied earlier in the day had long since dried up. As you finished the last dish you turned and dried your hands off, a involuntary hiss escaping your lips as you applied too much pressure to your wounds. 

“What’s wrong cadet?” Levi asked as he poured hot water over the bitter leaves. 

“It’s nothing, just burned my hands yesterday...” You answered as you pulled at the bandages. 

“Hm I see.” Levi mused as he reached into the cupboard once more, you watched him carefully, waiting for him to tell you to get lost. But instead he produced another cup, pouring tea into it and walked over towards the door. You watched, confused when he paused before the door. 

“Bring the roll of bandages and that salve Hange had earlier. They’re in that bag over there.” He said with a vague nod in the direction of the humble living room. You found the bandages and salve, you carried them out into the cool summer evening, the sound of cicadas and tree frogs felt familiar and comforting. You found him on the porch on one of the rickety old chairs. The cups were steaming as they sat on a small round table, he watched you with a dull expression as you sat in the other chair and placed the bandages and salve on the table. 

“Let me see them.” He sighed, holding his hands out, his own palms were littered with callouses and old scars. You timidly obeyed, placing the backs of your hands in his palms. He inspected the bandages for a moment before he began to unwrap them. You watched as he uncovered your wrecked palms, the flesh red and blistered from doing the dishes and other chores all day long. 

“You should have said something.” Levi scolded as he unscrewed the lid of the salve and dipped a finger into the cool substance. 

“It wouldn’t have been fair. We’re all injured.” You pointed out as he began to smear the salve onto your left palm. 

“You’re no good to me if your hands get infected and need to be amputated.” He shot back, his dark eyes focused on the task at hand, you frowned but said nothing. 

“I suppose.” You said after a moment, your eyes taking the opportunity to study his features as he worked, the soft curve of his nose, prominent cheek bones and delicate brows. He was undeniably handsome, you had known this obviously, the women of the walls always threw themselves at his feet. 

“Tomorrow you will do look out rotations instead of cleaning or getting wood. Your hands need to heal.” He stated as he wrapped your left palm back up in fresh bandages. The burning had subsided with the aid of the salve, now he turned his attention to your other hand. 

“Yes sir.” You answered obediently as you watched him unwrap the bandages once more. 

“How is your knee?” You attempted to make conversation, eyes traveling to inspect the injured knee. He paused and looked up at you, his eyes weren’t as hard as they’d been moments ago, the sudden softness caught you off guard. 

“Better.” He answered with a clipped tone as he held your hand tenderly. His thumb rubbed the space over the inside of your wrist and your brows raised in shock. 

“You were close with them?” His words and actions alike caught you off guard, you blinked dumbly at him as he waited for an answer. 

“I was....” You said, his grip on your wrist tightened then eased up almost instantly. 

“It’s a shame. They were good soldiers.” He said nonchalantly as he ran his salve covered fingers over your torn skin. 

“Yes.” was all you could manage as he began to wrap your wounds. When he finished he sat back, crossing his legs, one ankle resting on his opposite knee. He reached for his cup and took a sip of the bitter tea, eyes wandering to scan the forest. Not knowing what else to do, you grabbed your own cup with your freshly wrapped hands and took a sip of the calming liquid. 

“Where are you from cadet?” Levi asked, once more shocking you. 

“A small village in wall Maria.” you answered, the memory of your cozy home and the unfortunate end that it met coming to your mind. 

“Hm, that why you joined the scouts?” He mused, eyes still not on you. 

“Yes, mainly.” 

“Mainly?” He looked at you now, eyes curious. 

“I wanted to fight alongside my brother.” You answered, remembering how he had been killed by the female titan during the 57th. 

“Ah I remember him now.” Levi said, his tone soft and understanding. 

“Good soldier, he would be....proud of you I’m sure.” You looked at him with wide eyes, he was being so kind. Did he put something in his tea? 

“I can only hope...” You said, taking another sip of the tea, hoping now that there was alcohol in it to calm your nerves and help make sense of this weird situation. 

“We must remember our fallen, that’s what I fight for, their memory.” Levi said, the vulnerability in his voice making your heart skip a beat. He had lost people too in that expedition, their deaths were the only reason that you’d been assigned to his squad. 

“Yeah..” you said lamely as you tried to make sense of where all of this was coming from. 

“Sir?” You started, unsure of if the next words you were going to speak would be appropriate or not. 

“Hm what is it?” He asked over the rim of his cup. 

“C-Could you...tell me a story or something? I can’t stop thinking about-” 

“What do I look like? Your mother?” He snorted, setting his cup down, you blushed profusely, instantly regret flooding your chest. 

“No forget about it, it’s stupid” You said, shaking your head and standing quickly. Levi leaned forward and caught your wrist. 

“Sit.” You dropped back into your seat without a second thought. 

“I guess...I could tell you about the time-” He trailed off, a thoughtful expression replacing his dull one. You found yourself admiring the rare expression fondly. 

“The time that I had to knock Hange unconscious to bathe her, filthy animal.” Levi scoffed and leaned back into his seat when he saw that you were no longer trying to get away. 

“That sounds perfect.” You sighed and sat back as well, ready to hear about the antics that Hange and Levi went through to get your mind off of the betrayal. 

“She got into some mud after a mission, wouldn’t bathe. Said there was too much work to do-” You closed your eyes, letting the baritone voice wash over your senses and sweep any other thoughts out of your mind. That night you fell asleep to Levi’s voice for the first time and the melody of cicadas and tree frogs. 

__

Kinda got carried away with this one. Honestly feels a bit cheesy but I kinda like it. 

[randomtwistedlife]

Two Ghosts

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Female Reader

Summary: You are on a recon mission in Marley and run into Reiner. Little angsty. 

Note: I just finished the anime and the manga and there are a lot of feelings and hence, this one shot was born. One huge spoiler regarding Reiner. If you know what I’m talking about, you can read this. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, spoiler ahead. POV shifts between reader and Reiner. 

Based on Two Ghosts by Harry Styles

Feedback is appreciated.

We're not who we used to be

We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

You pulled the hood of your cape onto your head as you weaved across the sea of people. Glancing at the setting sun, you let out a curse. You were late. His letter, which was tightly clutched in your hands, had instructed you to meet him at the specified address tonight as soon as the sun set. Even though he hadn’t written a lot about himself, most likely afraid that the letter would fall into the wrong hands, you knew it was him from his handwriting and the way he wrote the words.

Jean was here. In Marley.

You had arrived in Marley a little over a month ago on a recon mission. The mission was simple — infiltrate Marley, specifically Liberio, because that’s where the Warrior program was, scout the high ranked officials, and understand the socio-political situation. It was the solitude and the feeling of otherness that was hard to deal with. Everyone on this side of the sea hated you. Well, not you specifically, but your kind. You just wanted to talk freely with someone. Though Eren was here as well, he wasn’t an option. He had been here almost as long as you, but visiting him at the hospital would raise too many eyebrows considering Eren’s secret identity was not supposed to have any family. And so you stayed away. But now Jean was here.

Your face hurt from smiling so much. It was hard to remember the last time you had been this happy. You would tell him all the information you had been able to gather till now and then, you would drink and eat and have fun with your friend. Just one night of fun - you deserved that after everything. You had already thought of all the questions you were going to throw at him. You wanted to know how everyone was doing back home — Armin, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Commander Hange, and Captain Levi. Thinking about your home and your friends left you with a sense of longing. Closing your eyes, you brushed aside the melancholic feeling. You will reunite soon. Walking a little faster, you looked up to locate the bar you were supposed to meet Jean at and that is when you bumped into him.

                                                            ~~~

Reiner sighed. He had just dropped an enthusiastic Gabi at her home, and all he wanted to do now was get drunk and fall asleep. Sometimes, being around Gabi was tiring for him. The girl was hell-bent on inheriting his Armoured Titan thinking that it was the biggest honour in the world. How could he tell her otherwise? He himself didn’t know what he believed. He did, however, know that he didn’t want his cousin to go through what he did. But how does he explain all the anger, and the sadness, and the guilt that is buried deep inside of him to a 12-year-old when he himself couldn’t make any sense of his feelings?

If he hadn’t been lost in his thoughts and was watching where he was going, he probably would have avoided the collision altogether. When he finally realised what was happening, it was too late. There she was, her face covered behind her cape and walking straight towards him. The moment she crashes into him, Reiner holds her shoulders to help balance her. As he does so, he notices the piece of paper she was holding fall down on the road.

She apologises, so does he. As she walks past him, he bends down to pick up the piece of paper and calls out to her.

“You dropped something.”

She turns, and the world around him fades away.

                                                            ~~~

You have been on enough battlefields to understand what people mean when they say, “Time moved slowly” but this was the first instance you fully understood what “Time stood still” meant. You don’t know how long you have been standing on the street. Jean’s letter left forgotten in his hands. He cannot have that letter; it could compromise the entire operation. But at this moment, you can’t seem to care. You should snatch the letter and run away, but you don’t. You just stand there staring into his hazel eyes.

Long gone is the young boy that you looked up to. His hair is longer and his sharp cheekbones are now slightly covered under his goatee. You had grown up in the last four years, but so had he. His eyes were wide and staring back into your own. You opened your mouth to say some something - anything - but words wouldn’t come out. You could hear a loud thudding - maybe it was your heart or maybe your head, you weren’t sure. Your mind was blank all because he was standing in front of you.

Reiner Braun. The boy you had fallen in love with. The boy who was responsible for the death of your family and friends. The boy - no, man - who could still make your heart flutter.

You had known that there was a high possibility of running into him, but you still volunteered to be a part of the infiltration. Maybe you wanted to run into him. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Move! Speak! Do something! You screamed internally, but you felt frozen to your spot.

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice shaky.

Your heart skips.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you.

The sound of his voice accelerated the already rampant pounding of your heart, and it felt like it would burst any second.

He took a step towards you. You took a step back.

“No,” your voice soft but firm.

You couldn’t face him after everything he had done.

                                                              ~~~

The one thing Reiner had wanted more than anything in his life was to see you again. Of course, he never expected that to ever come true. Ever since his return from Paradis, he has spent a countless number of nights thinking about how if he ever met you again, he would tell you everything and you would forgive him. He never expected that to happen either, but isn’t that why they are called dreams? Late at night, he could hope to see you again. In his dreams, he could imagine spending a life with you.

And now here you were. Standing right in front of him.

The young girl he had fallen in love with was now a beautiful woman. Not that you weren’t beautiful before. Back when he was pretending to be a soldier of Paradis, he had seen you covered in blood, sweat and grime several times and you were still the most beautiful human to ever grace the planet in his eyes. Your hair, which looked much shorter than the last time he had seen you, was framing your face. Besides the guarded expression that you wore, your eyes were locked with his own.

“No,” you spoke as you stepped away from him.

His throat went dry. His palms moistened and he could hear the crinkle of the piece of paper he was holding as he clenched his hands. Reiner couldn't be certain that this wasn't a dream. His hands were itching to touch you, to feel the smoothness of your skin, and to confirm that you were indeed standing in front of him.

“I —” he spoke again, but stopped. What could he even say? That he was sorry? A simple ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t enough. He knew he could never atone for all the violence he had ensued; for all the people that were dead because of him. The apology that was stuck in his throat was too little, too late.

You tilted your head slightly, and Reiner saw how your guarded expression slowly changed into something else. Your eyebrows narrowed and your face flushed a deep shade of red.

“Reiner,” you spat out his name.

Although he was expecting it, the venom in your voice startled him. The air between the two of you had shifted, becoming much more tense. His glance flickered from you to his surroundings. He could feel their watchful gaze on the two of you. Everybody in Liberio knew who he was. The people walking by seemed quite interested in what was happening between the Armoured Titan and the woman he was with. Looking back at you, he realised things could go south quickly. Hastily, he reached for your arm, without giving you a chance to fight him, and dragged you to the nearest alley, away from prying eyes.

“Back off, Braun.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“And you shouldn’t have been at my home, but things don’t always happen according to plan now, do they?” you retorted.

“I know this doesn’t count for anything, but I’m sorry. If I could go back in time, I would do things differently,” he admitted.

You looked away, breaking off the eye contact, “Well, you can’t.”

The slanting rays of the setting sun shone on your face, making you seem more alluring than ever. He was so screwed. 

                                                             ~~~

His admission caught you off guard. Did he regret doing what he did? Was he genuinely sorry? He did apologise, but how could you trust what he said? You had trusted him once, with your life and your heart, and look what happened.

“Was any of it real?” you asked.

Your eyes were trained on the cat rummaging for scraps in the alley dumpster, but your ears were straining to hear his answer. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, specially if he confirmed he had merely used you for his mission.

“Yes. All of it. All of us,” he replied.

You turned your head and risked a peek in his direction.

“I — The mission was to break the wall, blend in, and bring the Founding Titan to Marley. You were never supposed to be a part of it.”

His eyes were focused on you.

“I tried really hard, you know. I tried not to fall in love with you. Annie and Bertolt realised what was happening as well and tried to keep me away from you, but we all know how that worked out,” he chuckled ruefully. “You were fierce when you protected and stood up for your friends. You were sweet and kind and understanding. You had been through so much —” his eyes cast downward “ — and yet you still could love and be kind.”

He looked back up at you. “By the time I realised what you meant to me, it was too late.”

You screwed your eyes shut. No, this couldn’t be happening. Four years. It had taken you four years to heal your heart and here he was breaking down your walls all over again.

“Stop,” you whispered.

“You deserve the truth, (Y/N)” he spoke softly.

You shook your head and opened your eyes. They burned with unshed tears.

“I never meant to hurt you, and I would spend the rest of my life making things right. I loved you.”

All this time you had been telling yourself that the bond you had shared with Reiner was nothing but a lie. He never cared about you. You were simply a means to an end for him. But the words spilling from his mouth were enough to turn your world upside down. You looked up as you felt the heat from his body. You could feel his breath on your face. Were you two standing this close before?

“I love you,” he whispered.

Your heart skipped a beat, your eyes jumping from his lips to his eyes. Reiner leaned in and you let him. You parted your lips and felt him washing over you like a wave of warmth. Your entire body tingled. The kiss started soft and slow with your arms locked with his. He took a step back when the two of you came back for air.

“I’m sorry, I needed to do that —” he started speaking, but you placed your hands behind his neck and pulled him in.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding your body close. He pulled you in, claiming your mouth once again, this time hungry and intense, until your knees gave in. His hands were on your hips and he lifted you up as if you weighed nothing. He moved the two of you so your back touched the wall. His body was pressing into yours and you inhale his scent. He still smelled like the boy who won you over years ago.

The two of you come back for air and he presses his forehead against yours.

There were a million thoughts running through your head. Reiner couldn’t know why you were in Marley, he couldn’t know about your friends being in Marley either, and oh shit, you were supposed to meet up with Jean. But right now, none of that mattered to you. All that mattered was that Reiner was here, with you, kissing you.

“I love you too, Reiner.”

                                                              ~~~

If an ex who killed your friends and family tries to walk back into your life, please run far, far away.

[toadcaptured]

@shining-stxrs this is her and Grimes friendship bracelet

Imagine your favourite love-hate otp

[boom-fanfic-a-latta]

Choosing a Miraculous

[This happens not long after Mission Briefing]

“I’m here, Ford! What was it you wanted to give me?” Raz walked into the Heptadome, relieved as always to see the deconstructed ruins of the Astralathe. That thing had caused enough trouble, and he was glad it wouldn’t be causing anymore anytime soon.

“Ah, glad you could make it by so quickly, Razputin.” Ford Crueller was sitting in the air next to the broken machine, a box resting in his lap. “Make yourself a seat.”

The boy walked over, summoning up his Levitation Ball and plopping himself onto it.

“So…what’s in the box?”

“Before I tell you that, I’m gonna need you to promise something to me. I’ve already had Sasha and Milla promise the same thing, as well.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to promise me, Razputin, that you keep everything you’re about to see a secret. Never tell anyone about it unless you check with me first, understood? I’ve kept this under wraps for a long time, and you can’t go blabbing about it to everyone you meet!”

“I…” Raz nodded. “I promise.”

“Good. And don’t go breaking that promise unless you got a darn good reason to! If the wrong people found out, who knows what could happen? We might have a situation like the one Hawk Moth’s causing, or worse!” The man picked up the box. “Anyways, onto the actual business now. Raz, you know that story I told ya earlier about the Miracle Box?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, here’s that very same Miracle Box right now. It’s changed hands quite a few times, from the Psychic who originally crafted it, to the native peoples of this land, to the settlers who took it for themselves and founded their own version of the Order, and then to me, who stole it from that same new order. And I’ve kept it and the Kwamis inside safe ever since.”

“…Wait, but what about when your mind was fractured?”

“While I may not have been around to guard it myself, it was still safe, hidden here in the Gulch. No one could have found it if they tried, let alone gotten to here in the first place.”

“I guess that makes sense…”

“But enough about the past. Razputin Aquato, as acting Guardian of the Native American Miracle Box, I’d like to offer you the chance to choose a Miraculous of your very own for the upcoming mission.” As he said this, Ford lifted the lid of the box, which also prompted a series of drawers to open along the sides. The man let go, causing the box to hover out into the middle of the space between him and the 10-year-old.

“Wha—you’re giving me one of the Miraculous?!”

“Raz, you’re one of the brightest young Psychics that I’ve ever laid eyes on. You are more than ready to handle the power of one of these jewels. Now, go on, see which one feels right to you.”

His eyes still wide with shock, Raz got off his ball and approached the floating Miracle Box. Every drawer and section was filled except for four, and each held a different item, whether a necklace, bracelet, other jewelry, even in a few cases things he’d never even heard of before.

“What goes in the empty spaces?” he wondered aloud.

“Well, the three drawers that are currently vacant usually hold the Beaver, Raven, and Coyote. Sasha and Milla took the other two, while I’m currently keeping the Beaver on my person.” Ford rolled up his sleeve slightly, revealing an armband hidden beneath. “Guuru and I happen to be old pals, you see.”

“And the last one?”

“That’s where the Eagle Miraculous is supposed to go. It’d been missing for a long time before I was ever brought in for training, though, and I’ve never heard anything about where it might be.”

“I see…” Turning his attention back to the open box, Raz looked over each of the remaining 13 or so Miraculous, before one finally caught his eye.

“Which one is this?” he asked, holding up a pin with an animal-head design.

“Ah, that there’s the Raccoon, Miraculous of Trickery. Sneaky little fellow. You find yourself fancying it, eh?”

“I’m not sure…but I think so. It feels…right in a way.”

“That’s one of the nice things about being a Psychic and using a Miraculous—you can sense what the best fit for a person can be using Empathy and Clairvoyance. I also felt like ol’ Slyy would be a good fit for you.”

“Slyy?”

“He’s the Raccoon Kwami—put it on and you’ll see.”

Raz turned it over in his hand a couple times, then fastened the pin to his jacket. Instantly, there was a burst of soft blue light, and a small blue-gray form materialized out of it.

The boy started at the tiny figure, now revealed to be similar-looking to a raccoon—just a lot smaller, a bit bluer, and also hovering in the air.

“Man, it’s been a while since anyone’s put me on! So, you gonna be my new wielder, kiddo? Pretty young, I gotta say.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I became a full-fledged Junior Psychonaut in only three days!” Raz retorted, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Relax, kid, I didn’t mean anything by it, just that I haven’t worked with anyone quite like you before. I bet you’re gonna make a great Raccoon, I can tell you’ve got some mischief in you. Anyways, what’s your name?”

“I’m Razputin, but I prefer Raz.”

“Nice to meet you, Raz! The name’s Slyy, Kwami of Trickery! So, what are we doing?”

“We’re going on a mission to Paris to assist in taking down a rouge Miraculous user,” the boy explained, and Slyy’s eyes lit up.

“Think we might need to steal the Miraculous in question away? Cause if you need to be a thief, I’m your Kwami.”

“Really?! That’s great!”

“Now hold your horses there, you two! I know you’re both gettin’ to know each other, but can we not jump right to planning a crime?” Ford cut in, shaking his head. “I swear…”

“Like you’re one to talk,” the raccoon-like Kwami jokingly said to the man. “Long time no see, Ford.”

“I just saw you and all the others yesterday, Slyy, don’t play coy with me.”

“Whatever you say, old man.”

“You’re older than me!”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re an old man.”

“SO! How do I use this Miraculous?” Raz interrupted, hoping to deescalate the situation before things went out of hand. “I’ve got the pin on, so what next?”

Slyy grinned. “Oh, this is gonna be fun. Alright, kiddo! Let me teach you all about how to wield the powers of Trickery!”

[caesthetix]

SAY A LITTLE PRAYER — Pt. 2 Devoted Worshipper

↪Eren Yeager mini-series

↪content; major character death, canon universe, heavy angst, established relationship, spoiler for season 4

You hummed softly as your feet dragged you towards the Commander's office. The hallway was quiet, yellow hue from the candles illuminated your pathway. Some of the rooms were occupied, you knew from the laughter that could be heard here and there. Soldiers cheering and sharing drinks without any weight on their shoulders.

And it made you feel a little bit melancholic as you thought about it.

When you dragged your friends to lounge around together, you wanted to feel the same warmth and comfort that was usually there when everyone huddled together. Even though you knew that it would never be the same anymore with one of you being taken on the battlefield, you still hoped that they would have each other to rely on.

Yet the atmosphere was tense. Sometimes overlapping the sorrow that coated their hearts. Maybe that was the coping mechanism, to forget about the pain, they all used anger, trying to point their finger to where it all went wrong, searching for the root of this havoc.

You knew that Sasha's death hit Connie harder than anyone. Yes, everyone had their individual bonds with the gluttonous woman, but there was something that differentiated his relationship with her. There were only two kinds of bonds that could emit such emotional turmoil; twins, and romantic love.

And they were like family, no, twins — and to lose a part of your soul would make anyone else gone mad.

Letting out a sigh, you tried to focus on your breathing. The door that led to Hange's office was within your eyesight already, you had your own job right now, your own mission. And that was to meet with your lover who, right now, people wouldn't dare to spend some time alone with him.

You remembered the day it all changed, where the most expressive person you ever knew suddenly closed his heart from the world. It was just a simple touch, lips grazing the back of her hand, and suddenly, the look on his face that day was the last fiery emotion which you ever saw coming from him.

He was distant, no, detached. It was as if he had his own world, as if he knew something that no one else could ever understand. You tried to ask him, to share whatever inside his mind, to share his burden. But every time you asked, he would just stare at you, with emerald eyes filled with one emotion that you could never understand.

It was not love, not some affection. There was no sadness indeed, no tears glistening in those beautiful orbs. He just looked at you with something that you could not fathom. Though, amidst all the cold shoulder that you got from him, you were still standing right by his side.

Like a devoted worshipper, following him to anywhere he goes, without even questioning where and why.

You were Eren's shield, some even said more faithful than Mikasa herself. There was no doubt in your eyes, whatever happened, no matter how many innocent souls were now in his hands, there wasn't a single time you ever asked the universe why he did all of that. Not even for a second, you didn't need a reason to believe him.

Everyone always questioned your feelings for said titan shifter since the beginning, when all of you were just wannabe soldiers in the training corps. There was no way you saw him as only a friend with how you always had this smile on your face when his name was mentioned.

Then one day when they saw his lips lingering on your forehead before they were all dispersed to defend Trost, they knew you would bind yourself to that man.

And they were right.

It was no secret already that you might be the most neutral in between all of them, but they knew who had you crawling to at the end of the day. Eren Yeager, no one else but him. He was your ultimate reason, the love of your life, the man who owned all of your heart; you didn't leave anything for yourself.

But you didn't even care about that, knowing your heart was placed on the right man.

"(Y/n)?"

You jolted when you saw the door opened, gaze trailed up to find your Commander staring at you with questioned eyes. Lost in your thoughts, you did not realise that you had been standing in front of Hange's office for perhaps a few minutes now.

"Commander Hange!" A perfect salute coming from you, making them chuckle at how enthusiastic you acted even in this darkest hour. You could see the bag under their eyes, brown locks dishevelled as some of the strands were all over the place. This fact alone made you frown. "You should get some rest, Hange."

Your voice changed completely, there was no smile etched on your face, and they knew how serious you were as you blurted out the words. "I mean it, as a friend."

They bit their lips, eyes closing shut as they tried to control the storm in their head. After a few seconds, they moved away slightly from the door to give you space, hands retracted to the side as they told you to come in, stopping whatever they were supposed to do right now.

Your lips curled into a small smile as you knew that Hange would take your advice. Even though it was just temporary, perhaps a little rest was better than nothing at all.

Nodding your head, you walked inside the office and stopped not too far from the door. Waiting for their instruction to where to sit, your gaze fleeting around the space that was more modern than their old office in the previous Headquarters.

It used to be so dim, only one light illuminating the whole room. You remembered how many times you stumbled over the items that were cluttering around the lab that they forgot to pick up. Now the lights were clearer, positioned on each side of the wall, resulting in all the corners shining with the yellow hue.

Of course, there was a massive bookshelf near the desk, not even one book was missing, everything was filled as you took it as a sign that the commander had been working on papers nonstop, not once loosening up to enjoy the victory over the attack on Marley.

"You could sit on the couch, or the chair, it's up to you, really."

Hange's voice sounded calmer now as they closed the door and walked back behind their desk before they plopped themselves on the big cushioned chair. You followed the gesture and sat across from them, deciding that it was better to be eye to eye if you were going to talk with them later on.

Their fingers running down their messy strands before pulling the hair tie to free it from the upcoming headache that already threatened to come. "Damn it, I am so tired."

That made you chuckle.

"I understand, Hange. And it's alright to feel tired, you are human after all." Not a normal human like the rest of the world, but the needs and stamina were still the same, whether you were an Eldian or people outside Paradis. The brunette smiled a little at your words and stood up to prepare a drink, grabbing two porcelain cups as they poured two teaspoons of dark powder on each cup.

"I take it you are okay with coffee, am I wrong?" They smirked a little as they turned to see you with a smile beamed on your face. "Awh, you are welcome, my dear~"

"Oh, Hange, you know how much I love that drink."

It didn't take long for them to prepare the drink. They had this big bottle that could hold hot water to stay boiled after a few hours. God, you thanked Niccolo for introducing that item to all of you. Speaking of the blonde man, you frowned a little as you wondered if he received the news about Sasha's death.

You wanted to go and deliver the information itself, but you knew with your condition right now that everyone would want you to rest until you get better. Connie, Niccolo, Sasha's family, you couldn't imagine the pain that they felt to lose someone that you loved so much with all of your heart.

And you couldn't help but think how much it would hurt if Eren was gone from this world.

"Here you go, (Y/n)," Hange spoke softly as they pushed the coffee cup in your line of vision. "Careful, it's still hot." They came at the right time, you didn't even realise the sweat on your forehead started to form due to the panic inside your head. You really did not want to think about that, it was too much.

You retrieved the coffee gently before settling it on your lap, palms feeling the warmth from the hot liquid as you rest one of your hands at the side of the cup. The air was cold, and for you, the porcelain worked wonders to make it to be touchable enough.

The two of you were engulfed by comfortable silence. Your nose crinkled softly when the scent of the coffee lingered in the room. Ah, coffee, that magical drink from Marley. You cursed a little at your ancestor when you first tasted the new beverage, saying how it's not fair that it took you a dozen years to know such a thing.

"You can drink it anytime you want now."

Eren smiled softly at your reaction and whispered that to you after a few seconds of watching your reaction. You didn't know what was inside his mind at that time, but his words were enough to make your heart flutter.

It was rare for him to show any interest or excitement, so you cherished all the fragments of his old self and carved it deep inside your mind. You loved the smell of coffee, because it reminded you of the world outside the wall, and it reminded you of a promise that once made.

Eren would lead you to your freedom, not with you as a follower, but with you to walk alongside him as he retrieved the rights that were taken away from all humans in Paradis.

Yes, Eren, the reminiscent was enough to snap you back. You were here for a reason, and that was to meet him, to spend time with him. No. You were there to dig some information from your lover's mind. It was for the sake of your friends, to make them feel better and feel more at peace rather than just standing in the dark.

After all, you didn't need to know his reason. You were satisfied enough to fight and walk alongside him.

Right?

"Now, what is it that you wanted to ask me?"

You jolted when you heard Hange throw the question as if you were just having a conversation about the weather, making the cup in front of your lips falter a little as you looked at them with shock. Catching you off guard like that was amusing to them. "What? You don't think I couldn't read you like an open book?"

Hange was harmless, at least to you. They said that not because they wanted to intimidate you, but more into wanting to prove to themselves how much they knew you. Everything was shown in their face, from the glint in their eyes to a snicker that slipped from their lips.

You let out a sigh before slipping down the cup of coffee back to your lap. They waited, understanding that you were slightly embarrassed with how much they could read you. Maybe you forgot, but they were the ones who asked Erwin to make you a part of their squad.

There was no one else that could tolerate Eren Yeager without him tolerating them enough. Eren actually listened to you, thoughtful of your decision and thinking about all of your scolds. Eren didn't listen to anyone, not even the Commander sometimes. If he didn't want to listen then he wouldn't.

But you were the only creature that, whatever you said, he would always take consideration of.

Starting from that benefit, Hange was now attached to you. They adored your strong will, how you would put your life over anyone (especially Eren) but yet still had a clear mind over it. You were fast, not as powerful as Mikasa, but you could think straight and strategize.

And they were hooked, they were proud to be the superior who knew you. Not even the Commander could understand the way you were thinking sometimes, but it was his loss anyway. Since he saw you as an asset for Eren instead of seeing you as a sole soldier who stood for herself.

"I need to speak with Eren." You were not done yet. "Alone."

The room was silent once again as they mulled over your words. They were sure it was not a request, but more as a demand. They chuckled internally to see you like this, intimidating, trying to get to your goal with a simple command.

"And what makes you think that I would let you?" They didn't want to prolong this, but they needed to know further why you wanted to see him. Truthfully, Hange was going to go to check on Eren before. But you came and told them to rest, funny how now you were the one who asked to talk to him.

They were afraid for you, that man was not the same as he was a few years ago. Everything changed after they reclaimed Shiganshina. And to let you talk with him without no one else guarding you, that tasted like a recipe for disaster.

"You would let me." Ha, cocky as ever when the time needed. "You know I could take down a lot of men and titan single-handedly, you know Eren would never lay a finger on me with the purpose to hurt me." Your voice was loud and clear, completely turning you into a soldier. "There is no downside to it. And if you think I would let him escape, you should know that I could do it anytime I want."

You had a point, that was what they knew. There was no malicious intent on your voice, just a need to talk to an old friend, to your lover. Even if you were sitting there in front of them with a serious facade, desperation was shown inside your eyes with how much you longed to have some alone time with the man.

They put down the cup of coffee on their table, sighing as they thought about what was the right thing. It was their call after all. You were someone who would do anything for Eren, but at the same time, you were a soldier, a good one that always followed the rules.

But to what extent would you stay to be a good soldier? If one day a condition caused the Survey Corps to be on the opposite side from Eren, where would you stand?

No, you were loyal — to either the Survey Corps or Eren. At least right now it was like that, and they just had to believe you in this.

"Alright." Your lips twitched at their answer, you must be so excited, and that made them softened a little. "You can just take down this soldier's side of yours, (Y/n). Just be a friend now, I hear your request loud and clear."

You nodded a little, still having your stoic, serious expression on your face. It wouldn't be long though, they were sure of that. One, two, three—

"Oh, Hange!" You wailed, setting the cup on the wooden table before you stood up and walked behind the desk, wanting to embrace them. "You don't know how much I miss him, I wanted to tackle him and just wrap my hands around him in the airship before."

The brunette chuckled when you finally fell to their chest, hugging them so tightly as you were clutching their uniform. "It's been months, Hange, thank you. Thank you so much."

"Oh, dear." They awkwardly patted your back, chuckling at your reaction. "I know, you are craving for him, I know." Everyone could see it, your love for Eren was something that couldn't be hidden from the world. Even Yelena and the others knew from one look at you.

You stayed there for a few seconds, calming yourself down from the enthusiasm that was bubbling up. You didn't want to scare off your lover with your sudden embrace or nonstop kisses. So you had to compose yourself by pouring some of the affection to someone that you trusted was enough.

"I mean it, thank you, Hange." You pulled away, though still had your hands on their arms as you squeezed it gently. The way you looked at them was so ethereal, comforting, and shone with what they believed as love. "Can I go now, then?"

"Yes, of course."

Hange gave you one last smile before pulling themselves away from you too. "I actually just pulled something that wouldn't be approved by Zackly. So, is half an hour enough for you?" They actually did not want to give you a time limit, but it would be bad if someone else found you in the cell with a criminal.

"Ah, of course." They let out a sigh of relief when they heard your answer. "I understand, Hange. As much as I love to spend time with Eren, I know that this meeting alone could jeopardize your position." Goodness, always so understanding, Eren sure is lucky.

"Alright, here." A dangling sound filled the room as they fetched the keys from their pocket. Your eyes widened at the sight of the silver metal, palms up as they dropped the key on your hands. "Make sure you didn't forget to lock—"

"Y-You'll let me go inside?" If you looked so delighted before, now you looked like you could burst as you tried to process the meaning behind the given keys.

One solid nod from the commander, and that's all it took for your tears to slip down your cheek.

You took a few steps back before giving them a salute, one that they answered back because of how much respect they had for you too. It had been years since they knew you, and it made them tear up a little with how much you had grown, yet still the same naive girl they saw that day in the training corps.

As you walked away to the door, they looked at you with fondness in their eyes. The brunette saw you as a close friend, like a sister they never had.

It was their call, they knew this was the best. For you to meet the love that you longed for, you deserved to feel such comfort in this hellish world. And to know that they could make you feel this happy, they felt like the best sibling in the world for giving such joy in your life.

Even when they heard a click from the door, a sign that you were on your way down the cell, their smiles never faltered. Shaking their head softly at the puppy love that showed as you bounced around with giddiness, they immersed themselves on the papers once again.

Little did they know that this decision would haunt them until they took their last breath.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"This is tiresome."

Hange yawned and stretched their limbs as they tossed down the last report that they had to finish. They really needed to take your advice and get more rest. Ah, you, now they just realised how much time had passed after the last time they saw you from before.

Their eyes fleeting to the clock on the wall, raising one of their eyebrows when they realised it was already forty-five minutes since you left.

I need to check on her, they thought. Even if they believed that you would not let anyone harm you in any way, they still needed to get you to rest. After all, you were still wounded, and they didn't want one of their best soldiers to tire herself more.

Stretching their limbs to the side, cracking their neck and hearing the pop here and there, now they were satisfied. Standing up to embark on their little journey, their eyes flickered to the empty cup of coffee that belonged to you. It was so clean, you even drank the harsh powder that lingered at the bottom.

You did really love coffee, they couldn't help but wanted to surprise you that they had a new type from Yelena tomorrow morning. Hange could imagine you screaming already and drinking a lot with them. A little piece of heaven indeed, talking with a friend without thinking of their burden, maybe it was enough for them right now.

Chuckling softly, the brunette locked the door to their office before strolling down the empty hallway, wanting to have a chat with you before closing the day.

It was late at night, the rest of the scouts were mostly asleep or drinking their hearts out, celebrating the first win of the Island of Paradis. Thinking about war made their shoulders slump, they were already tired and just wanted everything to end. But they just had to suck it up, holding onto the hope that it would end soon.

There was no one else in sight as they walked, the one who accompanied them was just the yellow flame and their own mind. Now they wondered what kind of talk that you had with your lover. Even if Eren was now just an emotionless human being, they thought that he would still be the same around you. Still as loving, even though more careful with the amount of affection that he gave.

Everyone who had eyes could see how devoted you were to the man, no matter how many times he was always preoccupied with himself, falling deep into his own spiraling mind, no more acknowledging your existence who was always by his side.

Armin and Jean would often call you up to join the rest of them to town or just to have fun. But you always stayed seated, resting your head on his shoulder as you try to give comfort to the man that you gave your heart to. Typical you, prioritizing his needs over your own.

The air changed all of a sudden as their feet finally reached the first rung that would lead them to the basement. It was so humid, and they really think you were such a saint by staying here for almost an hour without complaining.

Love really made people do something crazy, to the extent that their own comfort did not matter.

There was no sound of arguing that could be heard, which was good. It was so silent, and somehow they wanted to just turn back around. Inside their mind, they could see you curled up on the hard bed with Eren's arms draped around your figure.

Just by thinking of that, they couldn't hide the smile that emerged on their face at this point. What a youth, filled with love and comfort, something that not everyone could find inside a life of a soldier. Yet there you were, making the love that you had to be a reason to stay strong, to keep on living.

Hange made a decision, that if you were indeed safe and sound on your lover's embrace, then they would let you two be.

But when their feet stopped right in front of the cell, their light brown pupils dilated in horror.

The air was humid, suffocating, and their chest felt so constricted within these walls. They were not even inside, yet by just standing there right now, they couldn't help but want to puke.

Inside, they could see how Eren faced the mirror on the wall, his hands gripping tight to the silver sink that filled with water. There was nothing that could be emitted from his expression, not even a single emotion could be seen inside his emerald eyes that was always praised by you.

And as their gaze finally dared to look at the shadow in their peripheral vision, they could feel their heart stop.

In the back of the room, your body slumped on the dirty wall — idle, lifeless. Hange gasped, hands stumbled as they opened the cell and rushed to your side. Their fingers immediately went to your bruised neck to check on your pulse on instinct.

And nothing.

They found nothing.

Not even a beat.

"Eren, what did you do?" Their eyes never left your figure, gaze fleeting toward your orbs that were now empty. They choked, swallowing a huge lump before resting their ear on your torso, hoping that they could hear your heartbeat. But they were met with the same void. "Eren, what did you do?!"

Hange bit their lips, fetching the keys in your palm, they carefully hoisting your body as they managed to not cry, but they couldn't hold their sob as they realised they lost yet another good soldier, a good friend. If Eren could not give them an answer, they were the ones who were going to find it.

If only, God, if only they didn't let you meet up with Eren.

You would probably go back to your friends, easing their pain with your comforting words. You would wake up tomorrow morning and walk to their office, sharing a cup of coffee together before they gave you a briefing for what the scouts would do for the whole day.

But it was not possible, it was no longer possible. They should have known it.

No, they refused to give up now. Gritting their teeth, they still didn't want to believe that you were gone for real. They didn't care anymore if they were out of their mind, their free hand immediately closed and locked the cell harshly, needing to see the doctor, a paramedic that was around. Holding on to a hopeless dream that maybe you could be saved.

What could they say to your friends? That you died because of how they let you meet a deadly criminal, the same person that also had your heart on his palms? Hange was not sure that the man was the one who was responsible for your death, but there was no one else around.

And those bruises, red hue smearing your neck like a vice-grip.

They shook their head, not wanting to think about it for now as they tried to lift you up. They needed to get you upstairs, calling out the paramedic that was probably sleeping right now, needing them to save you.

When their feet made contact with the first stairs, they could hear a mutter from the cell which belonged to your lover. It was only a few words, and yet with how low his voice was, lingered with nothing but a glimpse of despair — it sent a shiver down their spine.

"I gave her freedom."

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[mendespideys]

in need of saving | e.y.

pairing: eren yeager x reader 

warnings: mentions of fighting, swearing, blood, etc. it’s angsty

summary: eren’s emotions get the best of him and you’re his last hope. based on the line “you’ve been talking with your fists” from when you love someone by james tw.

a/n: this is my first ever drabble/fic/one-shot (whatever you wanna call it) of aot. my husband made me watch it, i became obsessed and now i am here putting my obsession into my writing lol. hope you guys like it. enjoy! 

also, to the people following me for marvel/sm content - i’m sorry lol

gif credit 

it was no secret that eren jaeger was slowly but surely losing it. maybe not losing it, but definitely losing his cool. and a lot more frequently than what everyone had deemed normal for him.

because it was also no secret that eren was known for losing it time and time again. everyone in the 104th cadet corps had seen the green-eyed boy pick a fight more than once - especially with jean. the two of them seemed to bubble with anger just at the sight of one another and no one really knew the real reason why. 

whether it was jean using what was definitely eren’s least favorite nickname he had ever gotten (suicidal maniac) or eren making a comment about the redhead being a coward - the two of them could barely get along on a good day. 

but, lately, everyone seemed to be getting on eren’s bad side. horse-face was no longer the only insult coming from him and it certainly was not the most cruel one that had slipped past his lips either. eren’s anger - or whatever it was - was no longer only focused jean. he seemed to be taking his feelings out on everyone. everyone except you. 

even the captain and the commander had been getting their fair share of snarky comments and attitudes from the titan shifter. while they were undoubtedly unable to hold their ground, eren was definitely crossing lines he shouldn’t have. 

and, so, you were forced into your current situation. 

“tch,” captain levi pushed himself off the table he had been leaning on. “the brat is out of control. while i have no problem beating the living shit out of him, i doubt more fighting is what he needs.”

hange nodded. “it seems he’s either too tired to heal himself or he chooses not to. his injuries are taking longer and longer to disappear. we have to do something before it’s too late.” 

before it’s too late. 

you shuddered. the thought of something happening to eren sent a shiver down your spine. worrying about him was like second nature to you and the only one who appeared to understand you was mikasa. 

“with all due respect, commander,” armin spoke up, his bright blue eyes studying the room before continuing. “we have all tried. he doesn’t want to listen to any of us. it’s pointless.”

a sigh fell from his lips, as a subconscious hand rubbed his bandaged shoulder. poor armin. even the innocent, genius best friend had been unlucky enough to experience eren’s wrath. 

“everyone but y/n.”

your eyes darted toward the mention of your name and you met captain levi’s steady gaze. you cowered under his intense stare, feeling other eyes on you as well. you cleared your throat, feeling a weird sense of pressure in the pit of your stomach. 

“i’ve tried, too,” you swallowed thickly, refusing to remember all the times you had tried to talk him. “i- he doesn’t want to listen.” 

“you haven’t really tried,” levi remarked. “the brat’s picking fights left and right. every little thing seems to set him off and you are the only one who can get him to stop. y/n, we all see the way he looks at you. eren might be humanity’s last hope, but right now, you’re his.” 

your heart was thumping in your chest. you had noticed the difference in eren’s actions toward you as well. the touches that lingered a little bit longer than normal, the longing stares he thought you never noticed, the way his anger practically melted away when his name left your lips... 

but to hear someone else confirm it aloud felt weird. foreign. because you had pushed those observations to the back of your mind, desperate not to over-analyze any of them. the two of you were just friends. 

a knock on the door startled you out of your messy web of thoughts. the door opened before either one of the superiors could give permission to do so, revealing a timid yet determined sasha. she addressed the whole room, but her brown eyes were on you. 

“um, sir, sorry to interrupt, but eren and jean are back at it again and i’m afraid neither one of them is stopping, sir.” 

no one seemed to notice the half-eaten potato clutched in her hand - or if they did, they chose not to mention it - as she saluted the captain and commander. you were already practically out of your seat before she could finish and the look from sasha that went unnoticed by everyone else certainly did not go unnoticed by you. 

you followed hot on her heels, your gaze fixated on her bobbing ponytail as she scurried through the hallways but your mind totally elsewhere. there was an uneasy feeling bubbling deep inside you and no matter what you told yourself, you couldn’t shake it. 

while eren did lack the ability to take control of his emotions and strategically plan out his next moves, his brute strength and impeccable hand-to-hand combat techniques made up for it. therefore, you were more worried about jean than eren, to say the least. 

so, to say you were surprised when you entered the field and laid eyes on the two was an understatement. the sight you had imagined and prepared yourself for was nowhere to be seen. instead, the one eren was injuring was himself. by the look of it, there definitely had been a fight between him and jean, but the latter was merely watching connie’s attempts at stopping the brunette. 

you came to a halt immediately, unsure of how to process the scene playing out in front of you. a trembling hand mutes a sob, which is now nothing more than a pained whimper as your eyes traveled up and down eren’s body, mentally assessing his injuries. 

his nose was definitely bleeding. this wasn’t an unusual sight as it tended to happened a lot during his early experiment stages with hange. but you weren’t prepared for the bruising that was already forming and there was no doubt in your mind that his nose was broken. 

his forehead was stained red as well, strands of his growing hair sticking to the sides of his face. it was impossible for you to appraise the extent of the damage as you were unable to determine the origin of the crimson liquid. 

everything seemed to happen in slow motion and too fast all at once. at the sight of the your group, connie’s attempts were replaced by captain levi’s with mikasa not far behind. hange made a beeline for jean, who was muttering frustrated nothings while rubbing his jaw. 

so eren had gotten a few hits in. 

a gentle nudge brought you back, once again, from the dark chaos within your mind. you met armin’s blue orbs, attempting to ignore the pure worry swimming within them. his eyebrows arched as a silent plea and you followed his gaze to where eren was wildly trashing against the captain. 

in any other situation, you would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. the captain’s height was a frequent talking point among your group and there was no denying how small he looked compared to eren’s towering frame. in any other situation, you also would not have bothered hiding how impressed you were with the captain’s ability to overpower the younger boy. 

“y/n-” levi warned, voice strained, as the bloodied boy continued to attempt resisting him. 

with a nod (to convince yourself or as a response to levi, you were unsure), your unsteady legs carried you toward the two of them. eren’s eyes were wild with determination, his nostrils flaring with anger. but you quickly realized when walking closer that there were a dozen other emotions pooling within his emerald orbs. 

“eren,” his name fell from your mouth with ease. skillfully, you maneuvered your hand around his flailing limbs, placing your palm on his swollen cheek. “eren, it’s okay. hey - stop, it’s okay, i’m here.” 

it was as if a boulder had fallen off his shoulders. his actions halted immediately and his entire body relaxed at the sound of your voice. you wouldn’t have believed the effect you had on him if you hadn’t just witnessed it. levi reluctantly let go of eren, still on stand-by in case the boy would try anything.

“y/n,” your name fell from his lips just as easily, his voice nothing more than a whisper. 

and just like that, he crumbled underneath your touch. you fell to the ground with him, ignoring the pain as your knees came in contact with the hardened dirt beneath you. bringing your other hand up as well, you trapped his face, forcing him to meet your gaze. 

he didn’t try to look anywhere else. he couldn’t. the pained look he was giving you was almost too much and you resisted the urge to look away. his bottom lip was trembling, the slit in it leaking blood with every movement. you found yourself having to withstand the yearning to kiss the pain away. 

“eren, what’s going on with you?” you tried to maintain a steady voice but there was no doubt that everybody could pick up on the worry behind every word. “this is- you can’t keep doing this. you have done nothing but talk with your fists and you need to stop. you can’t go picking fights with everybody over the smallest things.”

eren didn’t respond. the mixture of dirt and blood - both dried and fresh - and the threat of nightfall made it hard to see, but the violent jerks of his body made it obvious: he was crying. your own tears fell as well as sob after sob raked through his body. 

“i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” you swallowed down your own cries, your mind focused on nothing but helping the heartbroken boy in your arms. “eren, i need you to talk to me. please?”

“w-why? you shouldn’t- i’m a monster. a stupid good-for-nothing bastard. you- why do you want to help me?”

anger coursed through your veins. you wanted to beat the living shit out of whoever had made him feel this way about himself. they had absolutely no right. eren’s cries echoed in the twilight. you didn’t check if your comrades were still an audience. frankly, you didn’t care. 

“you want to know why? because you’re human. because you have the abilities you have. because i truly believe you’re one of humanity’s last hopes. because you deserve to have someone believe in you the way you believe in saving all of us,” you inhaled deeply, overcome with emotion. “because i love you.” 

eren’s sobs stopped just like that; as if they had an off button that you just pushed. the momentary silence - which felt way longer than you would ever admit - was broken by a sound somewhere between a shaky sigh and a surprised gasp coming from eren. 

you couldn’t bring yourself to regret your confession. you didn’t feel an ounce of remorse and definitely not any embarrassment. maybe it was due to eren also showing vulnerability or maybe it was because you had practiced said confession more than once. 

you didn’t care. he knew. he knew now and that was all that mattered. 

his eyes searched your face. you weren’t sure for what, but you assumed for a sign of wether or not you were speaking the truth. your features held nothing but earnest as you returned his analyzing stare and it seemed to satisfy his silent investigation. 

“i feel- it’s too much. too much pressure. i don’t know what i’m doing anymore. i’m not- there has to be someone else. i-i can’t do it... so many people. they’re all dead because of me. i’m not strong enough to-” 

the last drops of self-control you had were eliminated by his proclamation. while it might have been difficult to comprehend for some, you had understood every word and with each broken sentence, your heart ached more and more. 

eren’s disjointed admissions were halted by your lips on his. you didn’t know where your newfound confidence had come from but you were grateful for its presence. his lips molded against yours almost instantly - so effortlessly. 

you ignored the taste of iron just as eren ignored the stinging from the cut on his lip. while the kiss was nowhere near being sexual, it was definitely more than just a peck. your lips moved together in pain and understand and love and relief. 

unwillingly, you pulled away. suddenly aware that you more than likely still had an audience, the fresh evening air felt good against your flushed cheeks. the two of you remained silent, attempting to revert your breathing patterns back to normal. 

eren rested his forehead against yours. you were sure sasha could practically hear the way your heart was stammering in your chest. and if not, eren definitely could. with each thump, your chest tightened and you were sure that if human bodies had not been designed with rib cages, your heart would have been long gone. 

your thumb caressed his cheek, his fresh tears smearing with the dried crimson in the process. a gust of wind took ahold of the few pieces of hair framing your face. eren gingerly grabbed the loose strands, tucking them behind your ear. he had done so countless times before, but something just felt different this time around. 

“i love you, too,” he whispered, the previous insecurities long gone from his voice. he had never spoken truer words. 

you smiled. “let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? and i think you might owe someone an apology.” 

eren’s limbs ached and although he didn’t want to admit to that, his body betrayed him. he had just barely stood back up when his trembling legs buckled. he prepared to meet the cold ground and the pain that would ensue, but a pair of hands caught him before it happened. 

you were just as surprised as eren appeared to be as levi attempted to steady him. it seemed the captain hadn’t ventured far. hyper aware that he probably had heard every word shared between you and eren, you didn’t dare meet his eyes. 

you sprung into action immediately, moving to eren’s other side. he winced as you navigated his arm around your shoulders, causing you to sputter out apologies while doing so. captain levi’s amusement didn’t go unnoticed by you or eren, but neither of you decided to comment on it. 

with you and captain levi both being significantly shorter than eren, supporting his weight was easier said than done. after some trial and error, though, the three of you were able to move almost seamlessly. 

eren’s strength was wavering by the second, you could tell, but he had enough left to come to a halt when you neared his most recent victim. you met jean’s eyes, hoping he could sense how apologetic you were. he confirmed with a nod then turned his attention to the boy who seemed to be getting heavier and heavier in your arms. 

“i’m sorry, jean, i-i honestly don’t even know... i’m sorry.”

“what? no ‘horse-face’?” the redhead chuckled, almost sadly. you realized that they had already cleaned him up. “don’t worry about it, eren. you did more damage to yourself than me anyway.” 

jean placed a hand on eren’s arm that was thrown over your shoulder. the interaction was brief but seemed to mean a lot to the both of them. then, they nodded and jean walked back toward the remainder of the group. sasha and connie were both saying words to him that you couldn't hear. 

you could feel the distressed stares that armin and mikasa were both sending in your direction. you gave them a nod, promising that their childhood friend was okay. he would be, at least. you had already made it your mission to ensure it. 

as you and captain levi hauled eren toward his dorm, the severity of the situation began feeling heavy on your shoulders. eren had definitely broken more than a few rules and you were sure captain levi would make sure he was punished for his insubordination. 

you weren’t entirely sure you would be off the hook either. sure, you hadn’t broken rules or gone against direct orders, but you hadn’t exactly abided either. captain levi could easily find a reason for why you should receive punishment as well and no one would even question it. 

captain levi’s steel eyes followed your every move as you opened the door to eren’s room, you could feel it. it didn’t feel like his typical burning glare but you couldn’t quite place your finger on the emotion behind the action either. 

as if sensing your thoughts that were now moving a hundred miles a minute, a groan came from eren. you watched them both quietly as captain levi managed to plop eren down on the chair you had placed next to the bath. another groan escaped the green-eyed boy and you could tell he was exhausted and in pain.

“captain, i’m-”

“tch. save it, brat. we have all been there and if they haven’t, they will. i’m surprised it took you this long. you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, kid,” levi interrupted, turning his attention toward you. “y/n, i trust you’ll take good care of humanity’s last hope. i’ll see the both of you at breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“i- yes, sir.” 

captain levi left without another word, leaving you and eren alone for the first time all day. you suddenly felt hesitant, unsure of what to do next. eren’s grunts of frustration filled the silent room as he began - well, tried to anyway - removing his tunic. 

you swatted his hands away gently, removing the article of clothing with ease. you had seen eren’s bare body before but you were still just as awestruck. this time, though, his skin was littered with scrapes, cuts and bruises of almost every color imaginable. you swallowed the urge to yell at him. 

the silence continued as you washed his body ever-so-gently. once you had been able to get him into the tub, that is. more than once, you had to momentarily stop your actions to check if eren had either fallen asleep or passed out. 

every time, his eyelids would flutter open instinctively, as if missing the warmth of your touch the second it disappeared. his green eyes would widen until they landed on you and he would relax, his lids falling shut once again. 

the silence wasn’t uncomfortable; it was filled with unspoken words of gratitude and affection. the two of you enjoyed it to the fullest - maybe even a little too much. reluctantly, you stopped running your fingers through his brown locks that never seemed to stop growing. 

eren didn’t protest when you told him it was time to get out despite how much he wanted to. he also didn’t protest and tried his best to help when you began putting a change of clothes on him. he didn’t protest when you whispered it was time for bed, either. 

he did protest when you attempted to take your leave, however. 

“stay,” it was a soft plea that pulled on your heartstrings. “please?”

and, so, you climbed into bed with him without hesitation. he nuzzled into the crook of your neck so quickly that it seemed like second-nature to him and was asleep within minutes, his soft snores the only sound within range. 

well, you had definitely broken rules now. but you decided that eren sleeping next to you was more than worth whatever form of discipline captain levi could ever devise. you would handle whatever it was with pride if it meant you could stay like this forever. 

/ / / / / 

ok, um, this didn’t exactly go where i had envisioned it to but i’m not really mad? idk. i had to put some levi x eren in there bc i live for their mentor/mentee relationship. if you made it this far, please send me some asks and let me know what you thought 🥺