#█ ▌▌;v: wнaт тнe нell ιѕ тнιѕ? – { undetermined }

[belomi]

starter for @aigonakru​​‘s clarke

    He still didn't know WHAT had happened, not really. There was noise, then green, then when they went up stairs, SOMEONE. He held onto her body as she lost consciousness and she was { G O N E }. How could she just be gone? Even now, as Echo lead him back towards the remains of Sanctum, he stared at her blood on his hands.

                                 YOUR SISTER, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

   Funny, he thought he had given that up after the chaos Bloodreina had caused. Still, he could hear his mother’s voice ringing in his ears. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let her do this. It was dangerous. This planet was dangerous && they knew that, but they let her be a guinea pig anyways.

   In truth, he didn’t know how long he had been left alone. He wasn’t sure what time it was or if he had eaten. Finally, he glanced up towards the door of the bar Delilah’s family owned, taking note of the blonde entering the door. Tears threatened at Bellamy’s eyes and he rocked back in forth in his seat a little bit. 

          ❝ She’s gone, Clarke. ❞

   His voice cracked and he shook his head, not knowing what else to say. Dark hues glanced down towards his hands where her blood still lingered. He remembered not letting Echo wash it off. This could be it. He had told himself. The last thing I have of hers. 

           ❝ There’s a girl--she says she’s Diyoza’s daughter--she STABBED O. ❞

[belomi-archive]

“It’s you. You’re it. You’re the one I want.” / idk what this is but figure it out

   EMOTIONAL SHIT || accepting

   There’s a moment of PANIC when she hears her name being called. Blue eyes glanced up at the boy she had seen on Phoenix before, but they were far from close. It was certainly NOT the company he was looking for. So WHAT? What would make him so { ADAMANT } about it being her that followed him into the depths of the woods.

   ❝ You know this is a bad idea. ❞

   While Glass was SUPPOSED to be one of those who were sent to their deaths on Earth, she wasn’t as TOUGH as nearly ANYONE else who had landed. She had never thought that the Earth history she had been forced to learn would be i m p o r t a n t . She had never CARED. 

                                                            SO WHAT WAS THIS?

   Some petty jab at her for escaping from the drop ship? She K N E W she didn’t belong there on the ground with them. However, she { HAD } to TRY. Standing up from her seat on a log, she rubbed her hands nervously together. Blue hues glanced in the direction of Luke, a sigh escaping her lips. 

   ❝ --alright. Lead the way.❞

[belomi]

“While collecting the stars, I connected the dots.”

ATLAS || please

   In truth, he still didn’t understand this. A wizard? That couldn’t be POSSIBLE. On top of that, there were moments that seemed to be a little too odd for him to understand. Still, he { TRIED }. While Luna may not have made as much sense as he wanted, that didn’t mean that he would give up on her– not yet. She certainly wasn’t MALICIOUS. If anything, perhaps a bit naive to the world around them. He wouldn’t leave her behind just for how she spoke. 

          ❝ Yeah? And what’d you figure out? ❞

[belomi]

“I thought I’d never find you.” ( from octavia )

ATLAS || please

   Belomi wrapped his arms around the other as tightly as he could, feeling tears stinging at his eyes. No. Oso ste gonakru. He reminded himself, knowing all to well how much he had { SOFTENED } during his time in space. He had FOUGHT like hell to get back to Oktevia, but the skaikru had saved him. Why? Belomi still wasn’t quite sure.

          ❝ I’m here. I’m alive. ❞

[belomi]

"This is going to be a one way trip, isn't it?"

   SOME MEME || not accepting

   Dark hues glanced towards the other, unsure of the situation himself. There were too many obstacles in their way-- what if they didn’t have enough RESOURCES on Becca’s ship? What if they couldn’t dock? What if Clarke didn’t make it? Bellamy’s heart beat loudly in his chest, threatening to jump out onto the floor && alert everyone to just how { NERVOUS } he really was. And in truth, he was glad he wasn’t alone in that.

   Her words had been just quiet enough for the two of them to hear-- he knew that she wouldn’t want everyone else to worry. Hell, if the Grounders on their shuttle had gotten wind of the genius mechanic’s anxieties, they would incite a r i o t. 

          ❝ No. ❞

   Bellamy said it with the feigned confidence that he had once held when they first landed on the ground. Hell-- if only that kid knew that he’d be RETURNING to space. Lips pressed in a fine line, looking straight in front of him as the ship jolted underneath them. 

          ❝ You did this, Raven. You made it happen, so I KNOW we’re gonna make it back home. Trust me, alright? ❞

[belomi]

I’m throwing angst @saviorbuilt

   The weight of Raven’s decision still hung heavy on his shoulders, though Clarke’s RELIEF at everyone’s safety alleviated it only SLIGHTLY. Him, Harper, Monty, Emori, and Echo were { HOME }, but not everyone was. His stomach tightened into knots, dark hues glancing towards the dark walls surrounding them as he adjusted on the bench Clarke had been sleeping on.

          ❝ There is...ONE thing. ❞

   Despite Raven’s assurance, an anxiety still lingered within him && Bellamy knew that it would only dissipate once Raven and Murphy were back on the ground with them. Even despite the CONSTANT annoyance that Murphy had become, leaving the two of them up there with over two hundred prisoners in cryosleep was something that TORE at him.

           ❝ Raven and Murphy didn’t make it down. They could only pull this off if they were up there. I didn’t-- ❞

   Bellamy paused, shaking his head. Dark hues glanced back towards the blonde, still taken back by the fact that she was { THERE } in front of him. After all this time, CLARKE WAS ALIVE. 

           ❝ We have to make sure this works.  ❞

[belomi-archive]

What was your initial thought when you heard your sister was dead?

ASK BELL ABOUT THE EPISODE || accepting

   There WEREN’T any thoughts-- how could there be? How could, in a split second, someone’s mind put into a string of words how it feels to have the world collapse around you? Perhaps, in retrospect, he could find some utterance that would { ALMOST } describe the acid boiling within his stomach or the sweat that immediately formed at the back of his neck. 

   His body had immediately felt his bones crumbling underneath himself. He could feel the RUST of the bars digging into his hands, cutting away at the callouses that had formed when they first landed on the Earth. His world had begun to spin, dark hues looking up towards Echo as if she could insist that it was a lie.

                                          ( but of course she couldn’t )

   Gina had fallen at the hands of the woman before him && he was CERTAIN Octavia had done the same. His shoulders slumped, what vain hope of her strange sense of { LOYALTY } to him being of any use washing away. 

[belomi-archive]

jasper would feel a weight crash upon his shoulders. he knew he resented him for so long until recently ever since his involvement in the mountain. he'd feel guilty, like he could have done something to stop it. like if he had just been there instead of staying back at camp. he'd probably scream and cry, punching a hole in the wall before finally breaking down to his knees. he'd probably visit his grave every day until he'd decide to finally commit suicide, not able to handle anymore deaths.

MY MUSE IS DEAD, HOW IS YOURS DEALING? || accepting

you can’t kill jasper you lil dick. what would bellamy want

[belomi-archive]

9 - an apology that’s way too late

LETTERS FROM BELL || accepting

an apology that’s way too late

   O--

   I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I never really said that enough, did I? You had every reason to HATE me-- to LEAVE Arkadia. Hell, I would’ve left if I were you, too. Maybe I will if I survive this. Maybe I’ll leave Arkadia with what little time we have left and just never look back. I wonder if I could find Helios for it.

   I’m sorry I got you locked up on the Ark. I just wanted to see you smile && laugh with other kids. I wanted to see your face when you stepped out of the doorway for the first time. It was all for me. I never really thought of what could go wrong. I should have thought it through better. You didn’t deserve to spend all that time ALONE.

   I’m sorry that I held onto you so tightly when we first came down. I thought I was protecting you, even when I saw that it was just pushing you further && further away. I used you to justify everything I did. I ALWAYS did. I let all those people on the Ark die because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to protect you. I killed so many people in Mount Weather so I could get back to you. Hell, I CHOKED a man with my bare hands, Octavia. Something changes in you when you watch their eyes roll back. I know you know what I’m talking about.

   And I’m so, so sorry for Lincoln. There’s nothing I can say that will EVER bring him back && I just hope that now you guys are together, SOMEWHERE. I hope that there is an afterlife where the two of you are happy. Even then, though-- is that for my sake or yours? Maybe it’s for Lincoln’s. He deserves an apology, too. 

   I wonder if there was any way I could have saved you-- if I could have just done or said something to keep you close to me. I don’t think any of these apologies would have helped, though. I think being a Grounder was just somewhere in your veins. 

   I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.

   May we meet again.

[belomi-archive]

2 - my muse has just come back from your muse’s funeral

LETTERS FROM BELL || accepting

my muse has just come back from your muse’s funeral

   O--

   I don’t really know why I’m writing this. I guess, I just wanted you to know you EXISTED. Selfishly, I wanted you to be like the history books I read to you as a kid, with the actual proof on paper. God knows I won’t be able to ACTUALLY write it down, not everything && definitely not now.

   I can’t really do much of { ANYTHING } now, O. I got home, safe, but it’s not the same. It’s not like you’re here or that there’s any hope of you coming back. I don’t really know what’s worth FIGHTING for anymore, and it’s not like I can really tell anyone else that. 

   I’m so, so sorry. I promised I would protect you, and I couldn’t even do that. I hope you knew that I loved you, that I STILL love you. I know you never really FORGAVE me for anything I did, and I don’t blame you. I just...wish I could have spoken to you again. I wish I could have read you another stupid story.

   I’m so sorry.

   May we meet again.

[belomi]

@lethalintelligence liked for a thing.

          ❝ Sulking’s not going to bring her back. ❞

   It was APPARENT Bellamy was having a hard time, too. Dark circles had made a home under his eyes, nightmares of Clarke BURNING plaguing him. He was hardly one to worry about himself, though. Four days in the space station && many more to come. The reality weighed on { EVERYONE’S } shoulders.

   He worried about HER the most, though. Dark hues glanced over the back of her head as he leaned in the doorway, watching her concentrate on the screens in front of him. He wondered just how many times she had run things over and over in her head. His lips turned into a tight line as he stood up straight and crossed the path between them. Bellamy’s hand reached out to rest on her shoulder, but he drew it back before he could make contact. 

         ❝ I miss her, too--  ❞

   That was an u n d e r s t a t e m e n t. Him && Clarke had been off-and-on partners in crime. Even when things went bad, the RESPECT he held for her rarely faltered. Finally, Bellamy took a set in the chair closest to Raven’s, dark hues locked on her. 

            ❝ --but you need to SLEEP.  ❞

[belomi-archive]

”I can’t help the way I feel.”

   EMOTIONAL SHIT || accepting

   Dark hues stared down at the younger, the familiar sting of TEARS threatening to spill. He had always thought the W O R L D of Octavia && the rumors of her { ADDICTION } had SHATTERED him. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head.

   ❝ You HAVE to, O, ❞

   Bellamy’s voice cracks as he speaks, betraying the calm facade. Stealing medicine from the infirmary in the Colony? To go and STEAL the medicine Clarke had needed to SAVE someone’s life on Earth? He KNEW Octavia understood the potential dangers they were facing. 

   ❝ If you do this, people will DIE. I can help-- I can TRY, but YOU have to, too. ❞

   A hand moved up to her hair, fingers running through her dark locks. Leaning in, Bellamy placed his lips to her forehead, trying his HARDEST to keep from crying. He was T E R R I F I E D of what the others would do to her if she couldn’t make it through this addiction. Would she be exiled from the camp? WORSE?

   ❝ PLEASE, O. We have to try. ❞

[belomi-archive]

That's the thing, Octavia isn't dealing with the death of her brother. For the sheer fact she never thought she would have to. Even if she never said it, he was the reason she had not given up all together after the death of Lincoln. And now that he is gone. The last piece of Octavia's heart and soul has gone too. Leaving her empty, void, and lost. Because for the first time in her life, her brother isn't there. And she never even got to say goodbye.

   MY MUSE IS DEAD, HOW IS YOURS HANDLING IT? || accepting

ur killin’ me smalls