#╎ 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 ╎ — ophelia grace.

[svnflowehrs]

pick your poison babe

ophelia ft. hunter west / @dropsofjupitcr

— this drabble was planned out with jess as a 'what if these two got together' type thing. it uses much of taylor swift lyrics (especially from the new album). while most of this is considered 'canon' between the two, it's definitely not as we don't see them actually getting together. anyway! enjoy!! there is drug and alcohol mentions in this so please be mindful when reading!

it had been a fortnight since she last saw hunter. a long fortnight since he’d walked out the door of her hospital room, whispers of sweet nothings, whispers in the dark, broken promises, broken hearts. she’d lost count of the number of times she’d almost called, knowing he wouldn’t pick up. she’d been left behind, left in the dark of what had happened. sat back home, the stitches on her leg were driving her insane. ophelia was strong, she’d made it through worse, so why did this feel like it was ruining her life? like she was the last one to know? the silence of her place was deafening, the slow tick, tick tick,  of the clock on the wall was doing nothing to help her. she was shattered and bruised, tearing at the walls, she needed an escape. needed to forget about him. 

ollie was a good man at first, picked up the broken parts of ophelia, and tried to put her back together again, paper-thin hearts often couldn’t be mended by a few good deeds. couldn’t build some up from the ashes of their lives they were trying to erase. everyone had their thoughts, and the thoughts became like weapons to be used against her. could someone truly be a functioning alcoholic? well, it seemed like they could. just because she was semi-famous did not mean she didn’t make mistakes, ollie was only the first in a long line of men who tried to fix ophelia in the months of darkness after her accident. no one ever quite made her feel special or touched her heart like hunter had. but he was ghosting her, ignoring her. sure she knew she was fucked in the head, the accident had taken its toll physically and mentally. deeper and deeper down the spiral she went. smelling like weed became her new normal. one for the pain, and two for the loss of what could have been, what should have been.

it was matt who got her into the most trouble. night clubs, day drinking, a never-ending wave of being high or drunk. perhaps this was just a new normal. a new way of life for her.  the was no cure for her, not right now, the were storms within her heart and her mind. sending her deeper, and deeper down her spiral. wishing she was dead as she lay in bed, the memories of nights before burned in her mind. the black dog always chasing her down. she knew she was making headlines, what did it matter, it wasn’t like she had a reason to live. how could a man she always thought would be a lion, so strong, so brave turn out to be a coward, turn his back on her? did their friendship mean nothing, every man she was ever with never held a candle to him. they hadn’t ever been lovers, but the what-ifs played on her mind, drove her down the same path every night.

manic phases should have been given, since she’d been on a downward spiral, a phoenix, trying to rise from the very ashes of a life she gave away, trying to find her way back into the sun. stumbling out of clubs, faking it till she made it seem like a simple thing, but god was it exhausting, plastering on a fake smile, pretending she was okay for a little while. people telling her the cage she was in was her own doing, in her head. but when the world is looking at you, where else were you meant to live instead? stumbling into the situation ship with matt had given her something to cling to, he’d promised her the world, and she’d been foolish enough to trust him. foolish enough to think that he might be the one to save her from herself. in reality, he was the bigger monster, feeding her insecurities and pushing her deeper into the depths of darkness.

hunter in his own right was also a functioning alcoholic, no one seemed to notice or care enough to point out the change in him, and even if they had he probably would have ignored them, living for the hope of it all, that all of this was a dream he’d wake up from. he’d broken the very person he promised he would never hurt. she’d never skate again, the damage to her leg was too much. if only he’d listened, stop pushing himself so hard, his depression was hitting harder and harder, faking smiles, faking happiness. but at the end of the day, the only solace he found was in a bottle. memories of a time go by burned in the back of his mind. the twisting of a knife within her heart. monsters outside his window, trying to stake their claim on him.

photos of her in the press, with some other man's arms wrapped around her caused a sinking within his heart, was it really over, they didn’t talk anymore, he’d called his mother, trying to get everything off his chest, how he felt, how he hated the thought of someone else touching her. his mother, as much as she loved her son, had loved ophelia as a daughter told him that this was for the best, that one day she’d faded from his memories, and she’d be nothing but a distant memory.  but what if he didn’t want that? often chastising himself that ophelia wasn’t his, she was never his to lose, he’d fumbled so hard there, always playing a game of will they won’t they. maybe the press had been right, you truly don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, and he could have had her. 

was it petty yes, but he was nothing but a simple man who had enough of seeing his bambi stumbling out of clubs at 2 am, her face plastered all over the papers, headlines out washed up ice skater on the brink, she wasn’t washed up, she may have been on the brink but that was his doing. he knew it too. he’d led her on, twisted the knife, and left her alone. shattered heart, ruined her life by letting her fall for him. fuck it if he couldn’t have her, he’d show her what she was missing. even if he was the one to blame for the miscommunication, it wasn’t like she’d tried to reach out. he sent a simple invitation out to her and even added a plus one because he felt nice. he just prayed to god that she’d see the light, she how bad matt was for her. everyone was telling her. he wanted to fix her, fix the parts he and every other man since had broken for her.

the invite surprised ophelia, it was weird, why was this the way he chose to reach out and speak to her for the first time in almost six months? an invite to a show they should have been at together, was this some kind of torture trying to show her what she’d lost? or was this a genuine act of kindness from him, did he want to see her again? she’d send a reply back that she’d be there, the was no way she was turning down a chance to see hunter skate, she didn’t hate him, she never had, never blamed him either. they were both people pleaser's, who wanted the world to see them for who they were, not what they did, so it was no wonder something happened, forever feeling like petulant teenagers, locked in the ages they first got their gold medals, never seeming to be able to grow up out of the way they were.

for once ophelia was clean, she’d not drunk or taken drugs in weeks, she was trying to heal but that didn’t mean she still wasn’t circulating from man to man. ollie was back at her side, a situationship she couldn’t seem to shake, she was sober but that didn’t mean she was fully off everything, the small voice in the back of her mind telling her she needed another high, that she needed to chase how good she felt. truth was, it never felt good, and the comedown was even harder, bodies were weak they were just flesh and bones and sometimes she felt a chill to the core. like somewhere, in some other life things might have been different.

because hunter was a petty soul, through and through, he made sure that ophelia and her plus one were sat right at the front with the tickers reserved for them, right where they would be able to make eye contact, and because he was an even bigger and pettier man, he’d chosen their song as the dance he was going to do, if anything was going to signal to her how he felt then this would be it. he’d even found out the exact costume he’d last worn when they danced to this together. sometimes being petty meant making hard truths hit home, he only hoped that this would do the trick.

settling into her seat, she watched those before hunter skate, her attention not fully on them, a knot at the pit of her stomach, wondering why now, of all times did he want her there, they’d not spoken in months, their friendship was burned to the ground when he’d walked away after promising he wouldn’t. he’d left her, but how he wanted her back in his life? why? what was the reason for it? she wasn’t paying attention to the announcement but then she heard the familiar opening to sparks fly start, and she just knew this was hunter. standing there alone in the center of the ice he was watching her, trying to gauge her reaction.

her heart was thudding in her chest as she watched him, moving with such air and grace, he’d grown stronger and more disciplined in the last six months, he was pushing through this, on adrenaline, on the thought of her seeing the light, seeing what they needed to be. sure this was a shot in the darkest dark, they were both unarmed, balancing on almost broken branches of what their lives were, but if this was the last time he was going to see her, he needed to show he always felt the same. it’s why he’d chosen sparks fly, because even now. even after all this time, she was the one who he’d drop everything for, even if he’d not fully committed to that part.

at the end of the performance, he was eye to eye with her, tears staining his cheeks, it had been so long since he cried while performing, but the emotionally charged song, having her there, brought everything to a head, he could see it in her too, the loss, the pain, the wondering what could have been. his eyes seemed to beg her to stay, all she had to do was stay so they could talk. all he wanted was a moment of her time, a moment to try and reconnect, build up those burned-down bridges. try and find a way in. he’d lost track of the amount of times he’d cried in the gym over her. those photos of the woman he loved in the depths of an addiction, he wanted to help, he wanted to be her savior, make sure she was the heroine in her own story.

standing on the sidewalk alone outside of the arena she felt the rain start to fall, she’d promised to meet hunter here, so that they could talk, but the air around her felt thick with the loss, and indecision on what she was meant to do. for so long she’d been running, trying to find happiness in the bottom of bottles, living with her champagne bottles. never truly knowing where she stood, and what she should have done. she’d always been down bad over hunter, ever since they hit their teens, heck she’d said fuck it a few too many times when drunk, they almost kissed when doing romantically charged songs, had they always been like this, just hoping the other would say something, would risk something?

“ba..ophelia?” hunter's voice broke through her thoughts, he’d had to stop himself from calling her bambi, he had to remember he lost that privilege a long time ago.

a smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she ran a hand through her hair to look up at him, he was still the most handsome man she’d ever met “hunter…it’s been a while…”  god that sounded so stupid didn’t it? of course, it had been a while.

“you…look…tired.” his voice was soft as he got closer to her, he knew she was probably like him functioning to the best they could. faking it to the outside world. he saw the spark behind her eyes was gone. he just wanted to take away the pain.

her eyes scanned his face, this could be the worst choice she was making, or the one that could change her whole life for the better, she only hoped that this was what he wanted, what they’d both always wanted, instead of replying to him she rested a hand on his cheek, her eyes finding his as if searching for permission, before swallowing her pride and leaning up to press a kiss to his lips, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt his arms wrap around her, it may have started to rain in that very moment. but nothing else mattered. years of unsaid things were being laid bare in that kiss. she’d take the poison that was hunter over the toxic life she’d been living any day.