#∘⡊ ☾・ﾟ penny x eddie — ↳ writing

[intofclklore]

almost ninety degrees and the ac in the peralta trailer isn’t up for the job at hand. at the hottest point of the day, in the afternoon, it has to be in the high 70s inside. not unbearable, but not pleasant. every spare fan in the home has been moved into the living room where her dad is set up for the day. she makes them both sandwiches for lunch because there’s no chance she’s turning the stove or oven on, and she sits directly in front of one of the circulating fans as she eats. she’s shivering by the time she finishes, but she relishes the chill. 

“stay inside today, pen,” her dad tries to convince her. “only gonna get hotter out there.”

“i have to finish washing some stuff. one of the girls has a birthday party this weekend.” 

she kisses his head, a thanks for the concern, and goes to fill the laundry basket with the clean, wet clothes. 

a sweat breaks out on her upper lip almost moments after she steps outside. she likes summer, generally, but not on days like this. by the time she’s hung up one of her dresses on the clothesline behind their trailer, she feels like she could melt. she drops the pin in her hand and pauses to strip out of her shirt. 

she’s wearing a bikini underneath her jean shorts and t-shirt, because she’d had plans to walk to the pool to meet dani and mel today, but with how hot it ended up getting, she’d be a puddle by the time she got there. 

the shirt gets tucked into the back pocket of her shorts to hang loosely there as she gets back to hanging clothes. bending to grab another piece of clothing, a dark blur at the corner of her vision makes her jump.

“oh my god, eddie!” she gasps, hand to her chest, heart racing from being startled. 

she shouldn’t be surprised to see him there, coming around the side of her trailer. it’s not the first time he’s popped up while she was hanging clothes or doing something outside, but usually she hears him coming. 

they’ve spent every single day together this summer. some days it’s a little less time, like when she has to work or goes to a party with some of the girls, or he goes to play with his band or his dragon friends. they’ll catch up at the end of the night, or talk a little in the morning, but typically, it’s hours at a time. she’s fallen asleep in his room or the back of his van more than once these past couple of months.

there hasn’t been an eddie-less day all summer and she’s learned she likes it that way.

“you scared me,” she tells him, stating the obvious. “why are you just standing there like a creep?”

"don't mind me,” he says. “just enjoying the view.”

her eyes narrow as he laughs. her confidence, even lower than usual, is still normally higher than the average person. but she’s not that delusional. she knows she looks… not her best right now. no make-up. her usually perfectly slicked up ponytail is without any product, frizzy. her face is red and glistening with sweat. she’s not even wearing a cute outfit. denim and a plain yellow bikini top. how boring. 

she still doesn’t look ugly by any stretch of the word, she is aware that she has a lot going for her naturally, but she also knows that she looks less put together than on any average day. there’s no way he’s not making a dig at her. 

“can you at least help me hang some of this if you’re going to be a dickweed?” she holds a wet t-shirt out to him, the fabric dangling off her finger until he snatches it from her. “no more mocking me.”

“i am not mocking you,” he says, but she just rolls her eyes and hands him a clothespin.   

it’s not until later that night, when she’s replaying the afternoon in her mind as she tries to sleep, that she realizes that he actually wasn’t. she kicks herself, thinking of all the ways she could have escalated that moment if she’d caught on right away. 

both of them have amped up the flirtation lately. surely one of these days something will have to give. it wasn’t today, and she blames the sun for that. but one day, soon.  

[intofclklore]

1985.

valentine’s day. it’s penny’s favorite holiday, if only for the aesthetic of it all. everything pink, everything heart-shaped, glittery and sweet. even the drab halls of hawkins high look a little cuter with all the paper hearts pinned to the bulletin boards and bright red and pink posters for the upcoming valentine’s dance lining the walls. cuter than usual anyway.

in the cafeteria, obnoxiously and perfectly pink and sparkly, is a banner above the candygram booth. red heart-shaped balloons are tied loosely to either side, and penny has grown particularly fond of them as decorations. she eyes them each time she passes the booth with her lunch tray. 

“they would look so cute out front,” she’d said to eddie the day they appeared, when they were having an after school gab while she hung pajamas on the clothesline to dry. “they’re the perfect amount of glittery and they match that little potted plant i put out last summer.” 

she’d never actually steal balloons. but she’d think about it. 

the candygram booth is a place penny only plans to visit once. it’s not free, for starters, so the few dollars she has to shell out even for that is too much. but she has to, or she’d be the odd one out. the only cheerleader to not send one of the heart shaped suckers and notes to all the other girls. she skips lunch that day, uses the money for them instead. it works out. she wasn’t that hungry anyway.

those are the only ones she sends, but the ones she receives aren’t just from her cheerleader friends. on monday, she also gets one from freddy, a guy on the football team who has asked her twice now to be his date to the dance, and shoots his shot once again via candygram. she’s declined twice. she’ll decline again. 

on tuesday, she gets two more. one without a name or note attached, which isn’t unusual for the cheerleaders or more popular girls. boys are pathetic and shy. the other from another jock, some soccer player with the audacity to think she’d want a love note from someone who plays soccer. as if. 

really, she has no interest in any of the meathead loser jocks at hawkins, but if she had to date any of them - well, she still has standards. 

on wednesday, the candygrams come as usual during the second to last period. study hall. one of her few classes with a mix of juniors and seniors, the only one she shares with eddie. ( she jokingly told him once that year that she hopes he gets held back one more time, so they can actually have more classes together during her senior year. she didn’t mean to jinx it. ) they never sit together, despite the budding friendship or whatever between them. appearances are important. but today, he runs in late, and the only empty seat is beside her. she makes a show of scooting her desk closer to angela as eddie sits. they make eye contact and she tries not to smile. 

“who’s it from?” he whispers when the candygrams land on her desk ten minutes into class. 

she glances at him, then at his desk. he has a notebook open in front of him, but it doesn’t look like schoolwork he’s doing. too many doodles. nerd things. 

she scowls, pulling the lollipop and attached note closer to her chest. “wouldn’t you like to know? mind your business, freak.” 

she glances at it. kip. basketball. not bad. still not her type. 

as the last of the candygrams get handed out, her eyes fall on eddie’s desk again. no candy. just an observation at first, but then on thursday, valentine’s day itself, he doesn’t receive one either. and no part of penny thinks he cares. not just that she thinks he’d pretend not to care, she really doesn’t think he does. not the way penny would lose her mind if she didn’t get some from hopeless boys she doesn’t even like but craves attention from, though she’d never show it.

eddie may not care, but penny still buys one last candygram on friday morning. 

she purposely sits directly behind him in study hall that day, twiddling her pen almost nervously as she stares at the door, waiting for the final deliveries. when they finally come, she’s so fixated on his being handed to him, she doesn’t even care about the four that end up on her desk. without even glancing at the note, she unwraps one of the suckers, popping it into her mouth as she stares at the back of eddie’s head. 

her ponytail swings as she pops up, leaning over her desk to whisper. “who’s it from?” 

when eddie turns around, he has the candy in his mouth and a gleam in his eyes that she likes feeling responsible for. 

he dangles the note in the air briefly before snatching it back. “wouldn’t you like to know?” 

her cheeks suction around the cherry flavored candy in an attempt to not smirk. she doesn’t need to see the note to know what it says, because she’s the one who wrote it. 

‘happy v-day, loser’

there’s no name attached, not even an initial because even that felt risky, but she doesn’t think it needs one. 

her own pile gets dumped into her backpack. she’ll look at them later. the novelty wore off after the first ten. it’s nice to have a little candy stash though. her sweet tooth appreciates it.

she’s already sucking on another one as she walks home after cheer practice, the sugar working overtime to boost her energy after practice went longer than usual. penny is so tired that as she bounds up the steps of her trailer, she almost doesn’t notice the new addition to the railing around the porch. her feet slow to a stop as she gets there, turning to process what is now there, tied around the wooden fixture beside the tiny red pot with a currently less than alive plant inside. perfectly tied a couple inches above the rail, so it’s not flopping annoyingly around in the february wind and banging against the side of the trailer, is a single heart-shaped balloon. red and glittery, now brightening up her front porch instead of tossed in the trash somewhere with the rest of the candygram booth. 

there’s no note, nothing telling her who left it here. but she doesn’t need one. 

[intofclklore]

1986.

in no world would penny ever go to a school dance with eddie. 

that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want him to ask. 

of course, him asking her out would mean they’d have to speak to each other. which they don’t do anymore. not really. not in the same way. not since new year’s eve. to his credit, he’s tried. offered her rides in the morning, offered to get them pizza, asked if she needed help with her dad (which she will have to take him up on eventually, she’s dreading that deal already). all attempts get shut down if not blatantly ignored. she’s the one avoiding him. she’s not even playing their stupid hallway game of snapping insults at each other in passing, secretly smirking at each other before looking away for the last time. no need to amp up the animosity to keep up appearances when there’s no friendship to hide. 

she thinks that was when he took the hint. realized she was truly mad at him. when he tossed a harmless insult her way in the cafeteria and she glanced at him, just long enough to let it be known she’d heard them, and kept walking. a blank face, ponytail swaying behind her, one of the other cheerleaders calling him grody on her behalf. 

it’s not easy. the rejection stung but she’s only making it hurt worse by dropping him completely, but what else can she do? stay friends with a boy too stupid to want her back? she doesn’t associate with idiots. but god if it hasn’t been the hardest month and a half she’s had lately. it doesn’t compare to the pain of losing her mom years prior, or worrying about her dad, but it’s different. it’s weird. mourning someone that she has to see every single day. 

mourning something that, in theory, she could have back. he clearly wants that, the way he still hasn’t given up proves it, which validates her in a way. but she has too much pride to settle for friendship when she wants more, especially when he knows now. that’d be humiliating. she can’t take back that stupid - dizzying - kiss and she can’t go back to being his friend.

what she can do? make him miserably jealous until he comes to his senses.

in an ideal world, eddie would take her to this stupid dance. but even if that new year’s eve party had gone better, she’s not sure that’d be able to happen. they’d still have reputations, after all. not that it matters now. 

the point being, she likes the thought of it. him twirling her around a sparkling dance floor, telling her how beautiful she looks in her dress, forced to listen to music that’s actually good? a dream. one she’s been having since… well, before last year's valentine’s dance, because she’d turned down every guy that asked her. she hadn’t even accepted it fully yet, that she had a crush on this nerd next door, but she knew that she hadn’t wanted to spend the entire night with some boring jock when she could just dance with her friends, leave early, and end the evening on her porch with eddie and candy. which was exactly what she’d done.

since she can’t have the dream or a repeat of last year’s reality, she’ll settle. big time. 

tommy k is the first guy to ask her, two weeks before the dance. a swimmer. cute enough. used to date one of the other cheerleaders though, and penny may be a bitch, but she’s a bitch who respects girl code. so it’s a no. 

there’s a few more guys after him, some more viable options than others. all obnoxious in their own ways, their biggest collective flaw being that none of them are eddie. she shuts most of them down, but gives a couple maybe’s. in case it only gets worse from here. 

she has no front-runner in particular, two or three guys maybe, until the choice is all but made for her, because dani brings him up right in front of eddie. they’re in english - penny’s first time in senior english, eddie’s… eighth or whatever at this point. no assigned seats but her and dani end up near him on this day. dani in the seat right in front of him, penny to her left. she feels his eyes on her as she sits and her face burns. 

she’s re-applying her lip gloss when dani whispers. “did tommy ask you yet?” 

penny’s nose wrinkles. “tommy k? yeah, i told him it was bogus to ask me out when he knows i’m friends with shannon. as if i don’t know he cheated on her? loser.” 

“ew, not tommy k. tommy z.” 

her brows raise, slowly putting her lip gloss applicator back into the sparkly pink tube. she turns her body to face dani more. a bonus that she can now see eddie out of the corner of his eye, pretending he’s not listening. 

“football tommy z?” penny gasps. “did nicholas say he was going to ask me?” 

tommy z isn’t perfect. he, too, lacks her ideal quality which is being eddie, but for appearances? he’s the best choice. an actual decent guy, carefree and funny and not annoying to sit with at lunch sometimes or drink with at parties, hasn’t dated any of the cheerleaders so there’s no drama there. they all giggle about how hot he is, but no one has an actual claim. they’ll be jealous but can’t be mad - which is a huge bonus to penny. make eddie and her friends jealous? it couldn’t get better. 

well, it could - but it won’t. 

“you haven’t said yes to anyone else, have you?” dani whispers as their teacher finally walks in, hushing them all. 

the classroom chatter falls silent at the perfect time, so there’s no questioning if penny’s response is overheard or not. “nope. there’s no one else i’d rather go with.” 

she flicks her ponytail as she faces ahead in her desk again, smiling to herself. 

he asks. she goes. it’s all… fine. 

she has a nice enough time. tommy is respectful and full of praise. he dances with her, even though she spends most of her time on the dance floor with melinda. he puts in more effort than some guys would, the guys who act too cool for these dances. he pays for her ice cream when they all go out after the dance. gives her his jacket when she complains about it being too cold to enjoy her strawberry cone. 

he offers to drive her home and looks at her like he’s already thinking about that goodnight kiss. she gives him his jacket back and says no, it’s okay, she has her dad’s car. he insists she keeps the jacket but she doesn’t. can’t, because it feels heavy in more ways than one. 

she lets him kiss her cheek outside but pulls away before he can land one on her lips. she refuses to let anyone erase or replace the last kiss she had. what’s the point in kissing him with no audience anyway? she drives home, checks on her dad, gets a jacket of her own, and sits on the porch. alone this time, eating one of the chocolate roses she got via candygram this week. not as good as the heart-shaped cherry suckers from the year before, they soothe her all the same. she stares at the dark square that is eddie’s bedroom window and pouts, because it’s only fitting that the night ends that way, isn’t it? the entire night was about him whether he was there or not. 

she wonders if he even cares, if he thought about her being out with another guy at all that night. maybe he has another person in his room with him, doing things in the dark he never wanted to do with penny. 

she was brave and she reminds herself of that. she tried. she’s still trying now, in her own special maybe mean penny way. but is it really mean? is it mean to make him jealous if he doesn’t want her to begin with? no. it’s not. and even if it is… there’s no room for guilt inside her chest.