#∘⡊ ☾ ˚ ‣ 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 : kiara carrera

[storminmyveins-archived]

"please don't be in love with someone else." Kie to Rafe

He remembers the first time he met Kiara ; that weekend that Sarah was insistent on having her over. Rose told her 'no' a few times, but all she had to do was beg to Ward and suddenly they were having company that day. Being the odd one out in more ways than one he kept from the girls and let them do what they were going to do but from the moment his eyes fell on her he knew.

Her hair with lose curls that fell around her face no matter how hard she tried to tame them with the hair tie she wore against her wrist with the number of leather and beaded bracelets. Her shirt , one of those souvenir airbrushed shirts with her name and 'save the turtles' underneath a cartoony looking turtle with large eyes and a doofy smile. The colors were faded, which told Rafe that must have been her favorite shirt along with the hole in the collar. Her turquoise pants that hung loose from her legs with large pockets that she and Sarah shoved a number of sea shells into from along the shore line. He remembers how they'd annoyingly clank against each other when they ran by. Rafe also remembers the ugly flip flops she wore that she kept losing off of her feet until she finally decided she'd run around barefoot instead.

He remembers how they would laugh, and Kie's would stand out over Sarah's. It was louder, happier, somehow more genuine and when she said 'hi' to him it was friendly on it's own merit. Not simply because he's Sarah's brother.

He also remembers the very moment he looked at this girl and thought that he could love her if he was ever given the chance. Something he never thought would happen because why would it? Sure, he's Rafe Cameron but that holds different meaning to different people and he wasn't sure which side of the fence she sat on.

Not until now when he sits with his head in her lap, looking up at her as she speaks those words to him.

" Unlikely. " Rafe smiles. " Kie, there is no way I could ever be in love with anyone else. You are one of a kind and I'd be a fucking fool if I let you go for someone else. "

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞, the idea of her and Enzo. And it's not like they'd be set in stone. He's a kook, she's a pogue, somehow someway it was going to drive them apart from one another it was just a matter of time.

Kie is sitting around the fire with her friends, the conversation not amounting to much - at least nothing that Kie is willing to listen to as she's looking out at the water. If she had any idea it would hurt this much maybe she would have never gotten involved with him. Or maybe she still would have, she can't say for sure, all she knows right now is she's hurting and wonders if he is too.

There's no blame to cast here, it just seemed to be the way of the world, fate, or some shit.

She looks to her bottle of beer that sits empty and she picks it up, looking at it watching the light from the fire flicker against it, dancing and reflecting off it. She can't explain it, but it just makes Kie miss him more.

Tired of pretending, she drops the bottle and gets to her feet and walks away from her friends and goes to sit alone. John B thinks of following her, but JJ grabs his shoulder, and shakes his head.

🎧 + random + Enzo to Kie @wachtraeumen

Song: All I Forgot Artist: ashley cooke & joe jonas

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

When she suggest it does matter, it has him looking at her curiously , almost thoughtfully and could it be -- caring? The fact that she says it does matter - how he feels? That's new, the only one who ever seemed to even remotely care about him was Wheezie, and now it's Rose's punishment toward him and Sarah to keep her away from both of them as if the two haven't lost enough. Sarah, more so maybe at this point. But he's still holding on to his own losses close to his chest where it aches, even burns.

"Feels like lifetimes ago." He mumurs softly under his breathe as he looks off, not sure if she should look to the floor or the window, maybe even the ceiling. But looking at Kie right now as though it will somehow be comforting is also feeling like he's disrespecting her somehow, maybe even JJ. Fucking JJ... The fact that he's not here anymore. The fact he's not here to give him shit, cause him a headache, give him the run around... While they were not friends he now feels the loss that JJ has left behind.

Did that little fuck not realize just how much he actually matters to everyone including him? No, he didn't ask for any of this. He just wanted family, that's what they've all wanted and his own flesh and blood stuck a real blade into him. Rafe has only ever felt the metaphorical one in his heart from Ward.

Rafe turns to Kie as she mentions what Geoff did to her and he feels himself gripping his seat by the arm a little tighter than he had a moment ago, as though he cares more than he claimed about her. Clearing his throat, he nods.

"He'll suffer, Kie." he tells her, getting up and grabbing her a bottle of his best bourbon, passing it off to her. "Here, this'll help better than the cheap beer you all keep in your fridge."

"It 𝓲𝓼, but I'm not going to push you if you don't want to talk." She informs him. The last thing she, herself, wants is for someone to force her to talk about her feelings. What feelings, huh? Her anger? Her guilt? Her want for revenge? Kie presses her lips together and she glances away from Rafe for a few seconds. She needs to stay focused on what she's here for. . .

He, once again, reiterates that he's always liked her and she lets out a sigh as she nods her head. "It feels like forever ago, doesn't it?" She asks, almost longing to go back to that time where the worst pain she felt was when her kook classmates ridiculed her. Back before she'd ever gotten kidnapped or her heart broken. . . 𝓢𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓲𝓽.

"Like that mother fucker Groff. I was onto his bullshit and he - - - fucking hit me over the head and tied me up, put me in that cooler." She swallows, trying to keep from tearing up at the memory. That's when Groff had first taken JJ to try and convince him into some bullshit. It hurt her heart so bad she was about ready to rip it out of her chest. "I felt so fucking stupid, letting him get the upper hand." Her jaw clenches and nostrils flare.

Making Groff think he's haunted is just the tip of the iceberg. She wants him to ᦓꪊᠻᠻꫀ᥅. God, she wants him to ᥅ꪮꪻ from the inside out! "I need to see him begging for mercy." Kiara states, the look in her eyes would send alarms off in any of her friends. That cold look she's got, nothing can melt this icy heart now.

"I want him to be so afraid that he pisses himself. So, we better ramp it up quickly." She tells Rafe. "I need something stronger than water." She says, looking at the bottle in her hand that she's practically crushing without even thinking about it, she's just got a death grip on it as she thinks about that asshole.

[storminmyveins-archived]

Feelings for JJ started ... well, truth is she can't remember when. She just knows they've been there. And what they have is unlike anything else she's ever felt before. While the whole gang had been ride or die with one another and at one point she had feelings for each of them nothing could compare to the feelings she has for JJ. Nothing.

So when he says that he knows he should leave she shakes her head, grabs his hand and pulls him close to her. " More of a reason for you to stay, don't you think ?" she asks, her head slightly tilted. " Don't leave. Just stay. "

"I know I should leave, but I can't stay away from you." ( jj to kiara! ) @clairelilcorner

[storminmyveins-archived]

Their history had jagged pieces, none of which fit the puzzle anymore. It's safe to say that it'd be easy to inflict a cut or two with the remnants of what they once had. It isn't to say that it once wasn't special as it always is at the start.

But now ? The 'what ifs' are tainted with a darkness with no cracks of light in it.

Whatever it was that closed that chapter for them closed it tight. Yet as he watches her from the other side of the room he can't help but feel a familiar feeling. That flicker of happiness he had with her that seems to slowly be fading out the longer time goes on. It's not the same and he knows it -- and chances are it'll never be the same again. So he pushes through and forces a smile ; cocky as it is.

" Still playing pretend, Kiara ? " he asks. " I don't get it, you have the whole world at your fingertips and you choose..." He glances toward her new group of friends. " - them."

our muses are exes on bad terms (for Kie and Rafe??) @fullpcgue

[storminmyveins-archived]

It's not the first time he's heard the first part of that statement. The second part is what takes him by surprise. " Yeah ? " He asks, a side smirk on his lips before blowing smoke from his half finished cigarettes. " That's a new one. " He lets her know with a quick flick of his brows upward. " The fun part, not the making shit difficult." He flicks ashes away.

" That first part, that's attached to the Gallagher name."

"You have a tendency to make things more difficult...yet more fun." (from Kie for Lip) @fullpcgue

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

❝ Then lock it up.❞ she offered it, she's not going to take it back. Not unless he gives her a reason to attempt it. But with the shake between them she doubts that backing out is something that is going to happen.

❝ With you on board ? First thing in the morning. ❞ she's taking out her phone to tell Sarah he's in, and check in with their way to get to the boys. It's a risk, but when she's got so few strings to pull but she's got some to pull she's going to do all she can in order to get them back. For them not even walking through fire is too much.

❝ So, the question is...Want me to come get you in the morning or would you like to sleep over? ❞ she shouldn't get snarky with him and yet she can't help it. It's a defense mechanism trying to bury how scared she is to lose her friends. And now she's pulling Rafe into it.

She's not afraid of what might happen there, but that she might be signing him up for. They may not be friends, but it's not like she wants anything to happen to Rafe.

Wait, Kie 𝓪𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓼 to his offer? She 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽 be desperate then. Rafe watches as she holds out her hand and he looks at it, then meets her eyes and gives her hand a firm shake. "It's a deal." He tells her. "That gold is getting locked up here, it's not going with us." As if that wasn't obvious.

"Look, I know you're not stupid, Kie, but don't try to play that card on me." He tells her. Rafe needs to have the upper hand here, not her. He needs to be in control, not her. "When are we leaving?"

[storminmyveins-archived]

There was this feeling in his gut that was just a sudden onset. Was it out of nowhere, or was there a build up to that moment in which he finds himself at John B's house looking at Kiara with JJ. Arms wrapped around each other, lips on each other and he's left standing there watching this display feeling like a fucking idiot.

The idiot everyone claims he is ; she just proved that to be right didn't she? Even as she says it's not what it looks like Rafe's blue eyes go wide with disbelief. " Really ? " He laughs, but it's so disheartening, hollow.

" Not what it looks like ; well then explain to me, Kiara what it is because I don't see what else this could possibly be." The hurt is there in his words, in his eyes as he looks at her the way he does. He's hurt people it's true and people have hurt him. But he truly thought she would be the last person to ever do that. And yet she's just inflicted a pain worse than anything he's ever felt. He can feel it in his chest and in his lungs. As though they're tightening unable to function correctly.

This is when he would move quick and launch his fist into JJ's face but he doesn't move. There was too much effort into getting better, getting his shit in order and with her help he managed to keep it going. But this display in front of him he can feel the cracks in the foundation starting to grow wider and yet he still doesn't act. Go back to that place? Oh, it's tempting even as he sees JJ's smug face sitting on that couch.

Then she asks him -- that's classic -- ask him what he means about her having a type. He shakes his head and forces a laugh even if it hurts to do so. " Yeah, you have a type." He motions to JJ. " And it's not me. "

Tongue to teeth he shakes his head as he steps back, his hands up in defeat. " It's whatever, Kie. " but it wasn't just whatever. There is a love for her there ; one he got brave enough to express to her and now he can feel it breaking off piece by piece and it's sharp edges leaving cuts as they fall away.

@unitcd continued from here. ;)

[storminmyveins-archived]

She can take her guess on which it is, JJ doesn't confirm or deny either one of those things when she states them. ❝ Or - ❞ He grins. ❝ - I just don't feel like driving. " but the grin seems hollow as he gets himself into the passenger seat. He knows that Kie knows him, so stating something as such isn't going to be swept under the rug even though he may be wishing for such right now.

❝ Let's just go.❞ He pulls his hat down over his face, not to block out the sun but to block out any look she might be giving him due to the itty bitty fib he may have said about why he has refused to be the one in the driver's seat.

❝ Can't believe you'd suggest I'm old. ❞

@clairelilcorner continued from here , ft. Kie

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

Part of him wants to investigate this, but his first priority is going to be Kiara. The wound on her leg needs to be tended too before it gets an infection. Carefully he's going to scoop her up in his arms. Like hell he's about to let her walk on it when he's right here and he knows she's easy to cary.

Once he's up in her arms he holds her close to him.

❝ Don't worry - I've got you. We'll get you to the hospital and they'll take good care of you. ❞ at least they better, or else he'll have hell to raise. He's already boiling on the inside that someone would hurt her -- and they are in his house ? The only other person he can think of who should be there is Ward but he wouldn't ... would he?

Once they get back he's gently putting her into his car and they'll head off. ❝ You said they were in the shed? ❞ keeping her talking for her sake and his sanity.

Kie isn't sure if Rafe thinks she joking right now or not, but she's about to start panicking again. Holding onto him, she swallows thickly as he takes his shirt and tears it up, wrapping her leg in it. "They had a mask on, but they were really fast and strong." She thinks it was a man, but she cannot be for certain. "Fuck." She hisses at the feeling of the cloth on the gash on her leg.

"Yes." She nods her head and glances around. "They ran off, I don't know where. They were in the shed over there chopping something up." She doesn't want to close her eyes and see the vision behind her eyelids. It's too disturbing. She will not be sleeping tonight.

"Let's go to the hospital." Her parents are going to find out either way when she comes limping home, so might as well get this thing taken care of before it gets infected. "What if the thing they used was rusty, what if I get lockjaw." Now she's kind of in a state of elevated shock mixed with panic.

[storminmyveins-archived]

" Pretty much. " He says as he looks back at her. " It's not to say you don't deserve shit like that Kie. You deserve whatever you want. If it's flowers it should be flowers but I can't. " he shakes his head. But he does reach over and carefully poke at the necklace around her neck with a faint smile. " I can do that though." And then he carefully takes her chin in his hand and turns her face toward his, kissing her softly against her lips. " And that. "

Maybe one day he could come to her door with flowers and it mean something. Not an apology or a cop out but something just to make her smile if she ever needed it. But right now it's still something else to work through, and for him to keep washing Ward out of his personality.

When he begins to speak again, Kiara listens. "So, flowers are just a cop out." She concludes. Maybe in that family they are, so that's fair. She won't hold it against him, especially not after what he tells her next.

"She told her friends how ugly they were?" Rose had always been a bitch, but that's just over the line when a twelve year old is trying to do something NICE when they don't have to. "Okay, so I won't be expecting any flowers from you and John B is going to get a piece of my mind, don't worry about that either." She shakes her head. They were beautiful, though, she wonders where he got them from.

[storminmyveins-archived]

" Then what ? We just pretend for...?" He asks. " As long as you want to keep this under wraps? I get it, Kie, I get it. But they're going to find out sooner or later. "

"Okay, so I'm lying. What's your point?" She asks. "I can't just go out there and tell people that I suddenly don't hate your guts anymore."

[storminmyveins-archived]

" Have I ever steered you wrong before, Kie? " He hopes she doesn't actually answer that because he already knows the answer to it. He knows he has, but his ideas are not always that bad. They're just not always that good. " We won't die. At least I'm 76 percent sure we won't."

A plan. A plan. JJ was not the best at plans, it was notoriously terrible when he came up with a plan. "Something stupid? How STUPID are we talking? It's not going to get us killed is it?"

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

❝ It's not important.❞ Rafe dismisses anything he wants to say about Ward in the moment ; the mix of both missing him and holding so much against him that he's conflicted on where he truly stands. He's unsure if he'll ever actually be able to come to terms with his passing with so much left unsaid, undone, but there are other things Rafe wants to focus on other than that. Anything to avoid just how fucked up he's been feeling.

But he is offered a distraction when she asks why what she says matters, and he knows that she's smart, but sometimes she does miss the obvious. He can't blame her for it, it's not like he tried to let himself feel what he felt at the time. And now is the wrong time to even consider it.

❝ I've always liked you, Kie, I've told you that. You were the one I could talk to when you and Sarah were first friends back in school. I haven't forgotten that.❞ but back to her being the one to be kidnapped he shakes his head. ❝ Well, I know it's not because someone thinks you're weak -- maybe because they know that you're on to them, and you could easily take them so they have to get the upper hand. I can only imagine how sick of it you are.❞ and he has to admit - he hates the thought of it.

❝ It will be just the beginning.❞ he reassures. ❝ He took the life of his own blood, his own kid...So far he's acting like he feels nothing about it, but we're going to make him feel something.❞ Getting to his feet he starts to pace a bit.

❝ Wheezie used to do that to me and Sarah to try and convince us Tanny Hill was haunted ... She'd move things, started out small, just things you'd not really notice head on, but more out of the corner of your eye. Then she moved up, pictures face down, power flickers...❞ Rafe can't help but grin.

❝ We fuck with his head.❞

"He was still your dad, Rafe." She tells him. "So, if you need to get something off of your chest I'll listen. I may not have the best advice right now because I feel like I could snap at any second, but I'll try." Kiara offers him sincerely.

Glancing over at him, she wonders why it is that he's open to listening to her, why what she says matter so much to him. "Why?" She questions. There's genuine curiosity. "After all of the shit I did to you? I mean, I wasn't nice." It had been ages since kook year, at least that's what it feels like, almost a lifetime ago when things had been so different between the two of them.

Drinking about half of the water bottle, she finally puts the lid back on and sets it back on the table. "Don't ask me, somehow it's always me." And it makes her so damn mad. She needs to become the person that's the last choice to kidnap. . .

"He deserves everything and more. Whatever terrible things happen to him out of our hands is just karma." Kiara purses her lips and glances back to Rafe. "How do we make him think he's haunted?" She asks. "That could just be the beginning." And then it would escalate from there to the point where he's scared for his life, that's what she's shooting for.

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

𝐇𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝. ❝ It's okay.❞ It's not, really. There was a lot left unsaid and undone between him and Ward. There was things he wanted from him that he never got until the very last moment they had. There were still so many answers left unasked and unanswered but what could he do now? He could let it keep a choke hold on him and pull him down or he could simply try and move on from it, grow, and learn. Maybe one day if he's a father he'll know what his kids need and be better.

But that is a long way from now.

As she notes that he may not want to hear from her he chuckles, shaking his head. ❝ Even after everything we've been through, the only opinion that still matters to me is somehow you. ❞ he tells Kie. There is no point in hiding it.

He listens still , watching her as she talks, then he nods his head with a soft smile. ❝ I will never understand how you end up the one being kidnapped all the time, honestly I figured that'd be a role more suited for Sarah.❞

A bad joke at a bad time...but he says it anyway.

❝ You're not psychotic , Kie..you're grieving. We all do crazy shit when we're grieving. But that mother fucker deserves what's coming to him. ❞

Then silence, but Rafe soon breaks it.

❝ We make him think he's haunted...❞

It's difficult for her to remember sometimes that she's not the only one grieving. That Rafe was too, in a different way, but still grieving. She understands feeling desperate. . . After all, the pogues had been desperate for that stupid treasure, hadn't they? She sighs and runs a hand through her damps waves. "I forgot about all of that, I'm sorry, Rafe. . ." She tells him. "And you might not care about hearing it for me, but losing someone fucking ᦓꪊᥴᛕᦓ. . ." Even if his father was a terrifying piece of shit.

There's a slow nod. "Yeah, he had a few people believing in him. At least for a little while. Then he ᛕ꠸ᦔꪀꪖρρꫀᦔ me and everything seems like it went to Hell in a hand basket." That's where everything had begun to snowball.

"Good. Because otherwise, I just sound as psychotic as him." Reaching for the water, she takes a drink of it and sighs, shaking her head. "I never knew how good I was at ᦓꪻꪖꪶᛕ꠸ꪀᧁ someone until now."

[inbeautifulruinsarchived]

❝ I was desperate. ❞ he tells Kie. ❝ I had to believe in something. I needed the money -- Rose wasn't giving me and Sarah anything from Ward that he left us, I needed the money to find someone to help me get Wheezie from Rose and fight her legally for everything so I thought...I had nothing to lose.❞ but it turns out he lost everything. Ward, Sofia, and he still can't speak to Wheezie. And then they lost JJ while he was with them so in a way, a loss for him too.

It's been...too much.

❝ But he did make me believe he was sincere in all of it...❞ maybe if he had seen it sooner this could have been prevented. His thoughts pushed off while he listens to Kie about the schedule.

She wants suffering and he nods. ❝ We can use that... all of that...❞

Glancing to the water bottle, she leaves it there for a moment. "Did you believe him, about the deal he wanted to make you?" Kiara questions. "I mean, I guess if he could trick JJ into believing that he was sincere for a moment, he could do it to anyone." The manipulation was also very, very good. It made Kie's stomach twist and churn, for a lack of better description.

"He gets up a 6:15 every morning. He drinks his coffee, black, not surprising. Then he'll go to the same spot for a morning newspaper, don't ask me why he's living like it's the 1990's when he could easily get it on his phone. . . " Anyway, she rolls her eyes. "He eats lunch between 11:45 and 12:15 every day, goes around and plays like he's some law abiding citizen for a few hours with some dumbass kooks who buy into every word that comes from his ᦓꪀꪖᛕꫀᦔ tongue. . ." Kie goes on. Then he goes homelike he's never done a single thing wrong in his fucking life and he watches the news and bullshit, then goes to bed around 11 pm."

She's been watching him for far too long, obviously. "I could tell you what he eats, too. What body wash he uses. . ." She can tell Rafe any detail he wants to know. "Oh, it's going to be slow and painful. I want to know that he's ᦓꪊᠻᠻꫀ᥅꠸ꪀᧁ." Even more so? She wants to be able to watch it happening, just to know that it's as agonizing as it should be.