#∕ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ∖ ◠ no time for small talk. no place for weak wills ◡

[nighthealer]

              ❛   people are going to notice i'm gone.       ❜ HAS KEPT carefully quiet up till now. both to get herself together emotionally and in hopes of overhearing something. no such luck for the overhearing part. in terms of emotions ? the silence has done her good. her voice is steady. face carefully neutral. she doesn't know what reaction they want out of her but she's determined to make it hard to get.   ❛    i might not be ms. congeniality but i'm kinda hard to forget about.    ❜  

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   instead of drinking all that coffee have you thought of sleeping ?     ❜ YOU MIGHT think she's just being snarky but it's a genuine question (  it's also just snark  ). never mind that when she takes the coffee pot she pours herself another cup. she got eight hours last night. also never mind that she rarely gets that much sleep. this isn't about her. it's about them. besides           how could she resist her own coffee ? she makes damn good coffee.     ❛    just knocking out for a couple of hours ? ever tried it ? and  .... hate to nitpick here, but i think i saw you slam back a redbull not even an hour ago. i can't fix a heart attack.    ❜    

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   you know           i don't just talk out my ass. i'm not telling you to do anything i don't do myself. i go to therapy twice a week. more if i'm having a rough couple days.     ❜ TONE IS kind but not condescendingly so. leans forward so that her elbows rest on her knees. takes the time to glance toward her company. an idle thing, half checking to see if they're not stubbornly ignoring her and half just to make the connection of eye contact. there's a sincerity in that.    ❛          i started going in my twenties. i saw things in myself that i didn't like. anger issues and depression. eventually i stopped going but i started up again because i knew i needed it. there's no shame in needing help.   ❜

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   the last person you sent my way was a total asshole.       ❜ TOSSES A rag at them as she goes about finishing her cleaning. they'd so rudely interrupted (   pesky problem with people always " bleeding out " and what not   ) her weekly deep clean. she can't stray from this schedule or risk her apartment never being neat again. she knows her own limit. as soon as her guest seems nice and settled she goes back to doing her self-appointed chores.   ❛            i should charge you just for stepping foot in my apartment after making me interact with them.    ❜  

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   i love you.       ❜ HOLDS HER hands out in a way that is all patient affection. choose to take them or ignore them. same intention can be felt behind her casual saying of the words she so dearly means. the better half of claire is shining through (   that half that is nothing but endless love and tolerance   ). she's clearly not expecting a response. a shared sentiment. she just wants the words to be out there. her feelings to be properly known. open communication more important than anything else.    ❛            you're important to me. if you need me, or need anything from me  .....  just tell me.    ❜  

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   if you care more about breaking the rules than you do about people       ?       ❜ BROWN EYES ARE burning with the passion claire always seems to possess in spades. one would think she'd grow tired. would stop rising to meet every fight. but as long as she can fight ? she will.    ❛    congratulations           you're not good, you're just obedient.    ❜   

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   lean on me         i'm a big girl, i can take it.       ❜ TONE IS deceivingly light. purposefully so, even. the situation is serious and claire knows it. she also knows just how damn good she is at what she does. despite all the blood and the pained look on the others face claire knows they'll be fine. trusts in her own skill and experience just fine.    ❛    come on. i've got you. up on the bed you go.    ❜   

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   who was my first hero ?     ❜ PAUSES IN the sanitation of her medical tools. you can see the moment the question truly registers in her head. '  who was the first hero you did this for ?  ' or alternatively, depending on how pessimistic you are: '  who was the asshole who got you mixed up in all this ?  '. fond smile takes over her face. shifts it so that the fatigue is hardly seen there. just good ol' fashioned amusement left behind.     ❛    you know what ? why don't you try and guess ?    ❜    

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   i always kinda knew.     ❜ TONE IS casual. unsurprisingly so. if there's anything claire temple is it's comfortable with herself. comfortable with who she is. who she's been. and who she'll be from moment to moment. the good and bad all accepted and neatly noted. within her understanding of herself is a confidence too. a swagger        like that of an old cat too tired to put on airs. it's easily seen in her smirk.   ❛   it wasn't really a discovery of myself. made out with just as many girls behind bleachers as i did boys back in high-school. never had much success seriously dating either. even " coming out " was never really my thing. if you knew then you knew. and if you've been around me long enough to see me date then, well          you'd know eventually.   ❜  

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   just wondering what am i supposed to like          be in this plan ? am i playing the role of cowering and helpless little woman ?  want me to faint for you ? personally i think that'd really sell whatever shitty action movie scene you're picturing here. please         as if i don't have any training               ❜ THERE'S AN unspoken but aggressive ' kiss my ass ' feeling to her words. she would appreciate the sentiment of protecting her if she wasn't being treated like a child. as is claire moves towards her bedroom, muttering to herself. when she emerges it's with a pair of tekko-kagi she slams onto her table.    ❛          these are mine. i'll bring them when i come with you.    ❜

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   'm fine. i'm good.     ❜ SAYS IT but can't possibly mean it. leaned up against her counter with a haunted look on her face. can't trust her own two feet to keep her standing. there's a hollow quality to her voice as well. none of that usual fire. none of the typical fight. her hands are shaking as she tries to take a sip of water. rattles the ice in the cup and she sets it down, frustrated. her therapy sessions had gone down to twice a week (  and look at her now:  soaked in sweat, woke up with a start and half a scream. scared and aching with phantom pains. she still remembers every place she was cut, and hurt, and hit  ).   ❛          don't look at me like that. i'm fine.    ❜  

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[nighthealer]

               ❛   i have no idea what to do.   ❜ TAKES A lot to bring claire temple to tears. she's a strong woman but this is just ... too much. it's the second time this month that her clinic's been broken into. windows are shattered, glass everywhere. file cabinets overturned. needles bent so they can't be used. papers and documents thrown everywhere. complete chaos. claire takes a deep breath before she sinks to the ground by the door. ❛   i'm so sick of this shit!!   ❜ 

@MUTUALS !  // open.

[nighthealer]

              ❛   you look like you need a home cooked meal … or any meal, really, and i need to not eat takeout for the fifth time this week. you’re doing me a favor.     ❜ PUTS HER grocery bag on the counter and turns expectantly. eyebrow is raised, already waiting for the first polite refusal of  ’ oh i couldn’t possibly impose ’.    ❛          you like chili ? 'cause that’s what i’m making. already soaked the beans and everything.  ❜

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   i grew up kinda scattered               ❜ PAUSE AS she gathers her thoughts. she hadn't really been meaning to speak. more so heard herself as she started doing it. snapped her mouth shut as she wondered why she felt the urge to talk about something so deeply personal to her. must be something in the air. maybe her visits to her mother, who is getting up there in age (  but doing it gracefully, as any temple woman should  ), are making her sentimental.    ❛          from harlem, to miami, to cuba, and back again. passed around because everyone knew i needed raising and culture but no one could agree on how to raise me or what culture i needed most.    ❜

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[nighthealer]

              ❛   i don't mean to be rude           ❜ ALREADY OFF to a bad start. if claire feels the need to preface a statement with an apology it's gonna be brutal. then again her tone implies she's not actually apologizing. highly likely she'd only said that to put emphasis on what's coming next,   ❛          but that's the stupidest fucking thing i've heard in a while. and i hear a lot of stupid shit i assure you.    ❜  there goes that sharp tongue and sharper honesty. 

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