#₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ aqua's fanfics

[thesirencove]

˙✧˖°✎ ༘⋆｡ ˚ STUDYING SUCKS -- SAM WINCHESTER X READER

i wrote this self-indulgently because finals had me absolutely dying LOL . thankfully they are now over (though i'm still stressed about results) , but i know finals are still going on for some, so enjoy this little sam blurb <3 and good luck to everyone taking finals !! :)

my requests are open ! :)

sam winchester x gn!reader (romantic)

summary: sam with reader who is studying for finals

warnings: stress maybe ? otherwise none !

word count: 455

a loud huff came from the kitchen, followed by the rustling of papers and what sounded like a calculator being slammed on the table. sam’s ears perked up at the sound, pausing what he was doing to find out what was going on. 

leaning against the doorway, he’d see his partner, sitting at the table with their hands in their face and slumped shoulders. clearly defeated by the work in front of them. finals had been slowly creeping up, and with that came too much frustration to even think about. the professor hadn’t teached half the material that would be on the exam, and the second they’d get a problem right, thinking they had the topic down, they’d get the next one wrong.

it was exhausting, and they were ready for it to be over. 

sam walks over, placing his hand on their back and softly rubbing at it to relieve some tension.

“what’s going on, sweetheart?” he asked, only to be met with a teary eyed, tired face.

“i’m so sick of this, sam! i swear every time i do one thing right,” they picked up the pencil in front of them, making a wild gesture to the page ahead before slamming it back down on the table, “i do it wrong the next, and i don’t get half of these topics because we never even went over them, and i’m going to fail my finals and i’ll never graduate and-” sam cut them off, knowing that if they kept going they’d just keep spiraling even worse. they were already starting to hyperventilate as sobs racked their body.

“hey, hey. look at me,” he cupped his hands around their face, forcing them to look at him. 

“you’re going to do amazing on your finals. i know it’s hard, and i know it seems like everything is going wrong, but i promise you’ll do good. i’ll help you study, and we’ll figure these topics out together, alright?” they looked at sam with a small smile and nodded, feeling slightly better about studying.

“okay,” they muttered, “i can do this. i’ll ace those finals, and my professor won’t know what hit him.” smiling at the declaration, sam pressed a kiss to the tip of their nose. 

“exactly! firstly, though, you need a break. you’ve been at this for hours, and your brain isn’t retaining any information anymore. it isn’t proactive to try to study when you aren’t in the right mindset. c’mon, let’s go find a new show to watch and cuddle,” his hands dropped to wrap around one of theirs, pulling them out of the seat. the gesture was small, but appreciated, and it definitely helped to refresh their brain for the next study session.

[thesirencove]

✎ᝰ.ᐟ⋆⑅˚₊ TO BE LOVED BY AN ARTIST -- SAM WINCHESTER X READER

another cute and fluffy work from me ! it's a little blurb i wrote that i was inspired by from a personal work of mine :)) i hope you all like it and please let me know if you'd like a longer work for this <3

my requests are open ! :)

sam winchester x gn!reader (romantic)

summary: what is life like when sam falls in love with an artist ?

warnings: none !

word count: 266

sam dating an artist. sam loving an artist. having paintings dedicated to him, being the subject of their paintings, becoming their inspiration. watching as they focus intently on their current piece, their tongue sticking out of the corner of their mouth. the brush strokes against the canvas, so precise he wonders how their hand doesn’t shake. he watches them in awe, wondering how one person could create such beautiful works. 

sam dating an artist. he asks them about certain techniques, listening intently to their explanations. he wonders about the paintings they created before they met him, wanting to know what inspired them before. what was their muse? what drove them? he wanted to know every detail, every part of the painting they created. their art was a window into their soul, and he wanted to know them, love them in their entirety. 

sam dating an artist. them teaching him how to paint, sam laughing as his shaky brush strokes materialized on the canvas. they smile at his piece of art, proud of his first painting. though it was horrendous, they still hung it on the wall for everyone to see. “it’s art, sammy. your art. it’s beautiful,” they would say if sam tried to critique himself. 

sam dating an artist. nearly every surface of their home has paint stains somewhere on it. their hands are covered in paint of every kind. at times, they even paint on their hands, testing colour combinations or new designs. sam letting them use his hands to paint on, smiling at the yellow flowers they just painted. 

sam dating an artist :)

[thesirencove]

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ WILDFLOWER -- SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER

hi everyone !! this is a fic i posted on a previous blog , that i since removed from said blog as i decided to focus on another topic so i created this blog so that i can once again share my works :) i've since edited this fic as i wrote it little bit ago !! let me know your thoughts on this one and enjoy <3 my requests are open and let me know if anyone would like a part two to this !

oh and grab some tissues .

sam winchester x fem!reader (romantic) // dean winchester x fem!reader (platonic)

summary: when a hunt goes wrong...

warnings: blood and bleeding , death , descriptions of being unable to breathe , descriptions of feeling worthless , sad sam :( , lots of angst and overall sad .

word count: 1.8k

it wasn’t meant to happen this way.

y/n and sam were supposed to live a long, happy life together. they were meant to hunt for a little while longer and then retire and live their happy little ‘apple pie life’ as dean trademarked it. they’d already talked about having kids and a dog and building their dream house together. they were supposed to be together until they were old and took their last breaths together. 

simply, together.

but sometimes things don’t go according to plan. just like the moment they were in right now.

sam was kneeling on the floor, covered in blood. not his own. hers. it soaked through his shirt and stained his face.  

“y/n please stay with me,” sam pleaded, holding her limp body in his arms, her shallow breaths barely audible for him to feel any sense of comfort. he was pressing down on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. trying to stop her from dying. still, more of her blood poured out from god knows where. 

“i-’m sorr..y,” she croaked out. y/n could feel herself fading away. the oxygen wouldn’t fill her lungs properly and every one of her limbs were so, so tired. 

the hunt started out perfectly. y/n, sam, and dean were quick to figure out where the monster was and how to get rid of it. a nest of vampires, hiding in the woods, preying on the little town nearby. bodies had stacked up over the years, but it wasn’t until recently that it became suspicious. y/n happened to be the one to find the newspaper article. 

“guys! i found us a case!” she brought the newspaper clipping over to sam and dean so enthusiastically. she was so excited, so proud to have found a case on her own instead of relying on the winchester brothers to find one for them all. they saw the glint of her eyes and couldn’t say no. how could they, seeing how wide she was smiling?

so they went. they should have known it was too good to be true. the vampires were working with a pack of werewolves nearby. they were ambushed. sam and dean had been fighting off a pair of vampires when suddenly–

crack.

it hadn’t come from either of them. sam’s head whipped around to look at y/n, who was clutching her arm close to her chest as she continued fighting off the three monsters who’d grouped up on her. her lips were cut and he could see blood pouring out of a cut above her eye. the beginnings of a bruise stained her cheeks. sam’s vision went hazy, wanting to help her but being so afraid that he couldn’t move. it wasn’t the monsters that scared him. it was seeing y/n hurt. he was frozen in place.

it wasn’t even five seconds later when he saw the last standing werewolf swipe at y/n, eliciting a yelp from her. she swung her silver blade quickly after and the werewolf’s head rolled across the floor. his body dropped, thudding when it went down. 

she followed soon after. y/n dropped to her knees. sam finally snapped out of the trance he was stuck in, rushing to her side. the sound she made when her knees hit the floor rang in his ears as he caught her, pulling her into him. 

his hands were covered in blood as he held onto her. it wasn’t his blood. nor the werewolves. it was hers. her blood was pouring out, staining her shirt and his and both of their hands. it scared him. there was oh so much of it and sam was panicking. 

his y/n. his sunshine. his wildflower. 

she was bleeding out at an alarming rate and he couldn’t do anything. he felt useless, so utterly useless in this moment.

“hey, hey y/n. sweetheart stay with me. please stay with me,” sam practically begged her, as though it would make a difference for her current condition. his voice cracked as he yelled out for dean. for his big brother to do something to save her. his heart was cracking, if not already broken. the tears built and built, finally spilling over like an old dam that couldn’t contain the flood. 

y/n could barely keep her eyes open as she laid there, weakly grabbing onto sam’s arms. she looked down towards her wound. the deep, jagged lines from the werewolf’s claws painted her abdomen. she whimpered at the sight. it burned worse than anything she could have ever imagined but the scream she wanted to let out got stuck in her throat, only building on the agony she felt. 

and the blood. there was so much blood. 

too much of it.

dean rushed over to where sam was holding y/n in his arms, clutching her close to him, like a child who didn’t want to share his favorite plushie. he was holding her so firmly, scared that if he didn’t then she’d somehow disappear. that she’d die faster. he couldn’t lose her, what would he do with her gone? how could he continue to live? 

sam looked up at dean and they exchanged a look, prompting dean to run outside. y/n could faintly hear dean calling out for cas before the weak pounding of her blood became too loud. 

“sam,” y/n rasped, her voice weak. she couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down her cheek. sam didn’t say anything, barely acknowledged that she said his name, not wanting the reality to set in of the situation. not wanting to accept that y/n was dying. the love of his life was dying and he could do nothing about it. he felt so utterly useless, thinking about the countless lives he’d saved, and yet he couldn’t save his love. 

the wounds were too deep to patch up and the nearest hospital was 20 miles away.

“sam,” she repeated, more urgently this time, before subsiding into a minor coughing fit. the blood started coming out of her mouth as well at this point. 

 “shhh, don’t speak sweetheart. you’re going to be okay. it’ll be okay. dean’s going to get cas. he’s going to heal you. it’s going to be okay,” sam said frantically. he was assuring himself of this as much as he was y/n. but both of them knew that this was the end for her. if cas didn’t get here in time then she would be gone.

her breathing became shallow as the blood pooled in her lungs. she felt like she was drowning. falling deeper. and deeper. she felt herself panic and her heart trying to pump more blood, so she could breathe but it just couldn't.

“y/n please stay with me,” sam pleaded. 

“i-’m sorr..y,” she croaked out. 

“promise me, y/n. promise me you-you’ll hold on. promise me that you’ll recover and, and come back. that we’ll live a long and happy life together. the one that we-we..ve always dreamed o-f. with-with a little cottage in the woods. we’re going to have three kids. three of them and a dog,” he trailed off on that last word as he sobbed, stumbling over words as he couldn’t keep himself together. 

“i need you to promise me that.” he begged her once again.

“i promise. but only if you pro-mi..se me-” y/n trailed off, getting weaker with every word she said, “that you’ll move o-n. if-if i die, sam, i ne-ed you,” she gasped for air, “to move on.” sam shook his head, but y/n whispered a measly, ‘please.’ sam, looking into her glistening eyes, once so full of life and now fading from him, and nodded.

dean ran into the room, and sam whipped his head around towards him only to be met with a disappointing shake signaling that cas didn’t come. 

“h-hey dean,” y/n whispered, coughing yet again only for more blood to come out, spilled over her lips and staining them red.

“hey, crazy girl. you’re going to be okay. don’t go pulling a me on us here, alright? heaven and hell are too crowded for you to be joining them,” dean said, taking one of her hands in his and weakly smiling at her. she chuckled weakly, as much as she could, before looking at him again with sad eyes.

“tak-ke care of sa-am for me. and take ca..re of yourself for me, to..o.” dean nodded at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, one final goodbye for his closest friend and the girl he’d been so excited to see finally get married to sam.

that future was blurred now. no longer an option.

“i lo-ve you, sam” she croaked out one last time, giving him the best smile she could. she wanted him to remember her smile above anything.

“i love you too, wildflower,” sam sobbed, wiping a tear from her cheek and pressing one final kiss to her lips.

and so her heart slowed to a stop. her eyes became devoid of life. her body was fully limp. unmoving. unwavering. sam’s heart had stopped along with hers. 

a final tear made its way down her cheek, like the last fall of snow in winter. 

the flap of wings that they had all been praying to hear had finally come. but it was too late. too late to save her, too late to get married and have the kids they’d once dreamed about, too late to build a home together. too late. 

the sound that came next made dean wince. sams sobs had turned into such agony, such rage that he screamed out as he held the body of his now-dead lover. he screamed at cas, cursing at him, the outburst so unlike him that dean had to look away, squeezing his eyes shut. 

the screams turned to silent weeping as sam held y/n’s body closer to him than before, his flannel and shirt now soaked in her blood. her limp body shook in his arms as he cried. 

and cried. 

and cried.

until he couldn’t anymore. his cheeks and eyes were raw and red from crying. he felt so worthless in himself and in the fact that he couldn’t save her. that he couldn’t get her back. the chapter of their lives had closed, the next page blank. he kept looking into her eyes, so lifeless it terrified him. the girl who made everything she touched full of life was gone. 

he’d never be able to hold her again. never see her smile, or the light shine in her eyes. so many never’s and what if’s filled his brain over and over. every new thought that seeped into his mind was so loud. it was like the thoughts were never ending, until a final thought filled his head.

the sunshine was gone and his wildflower was dead and his heart was broken, and there was no way to fix any of it. but he’d find a way. somehow. no matter how long or what it took. he’d get her back.

[thesirencove]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆜 A DATE AT THE AQUARIUM -- SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER

a fluffy fic for once !! i've been wanting to go to the aquarium for a while now , and what better way to fill that piece in my heart than a cute , fluffy sam aquarium date fic ?! i hope you all enjoy this one :)) thank you to riri (@rrylies) for beta reading and helping me with my fishy madness -- ILY !!!

my requests are open and if anyone wants a part 2 , let me know ! :)

sam winchester x fem!reader (romantic)

summary: reader has been on non-stop hunts for a while and needs a break . she loves going to the aquarium , so what better way for sam to cheer her up than an aquarium date ? :)

warnings: none !

word count: 914

the aquarium was always her favorite place to go. there wasn’t much normalcy in the hunter life, but a trip to admire the fish always restored a little sense of peace in her heart. something about the aquarium always made her feel calm, and ever since her childhood her love for marine life had been as wild as she was.

after four months of hunt after hunt, that feeling had once again started to disappear. it’d been a long time since she last got to take a trip to the aquarium, and she was starting to miss it. she missed the dark environment, the subtle noise of the water sloshing around as she shivered and rubbed her arms from how cold it was. she missed it so much, yet didn’t expect to be going any time soon because of how many hunting trips she and the winchester brothers had been taking. 

so when sam, her most loving boyfriend, told her to get ready because they were going out for a while, to get out of the continually shrinking walls of their motel room, she thought nothing of it. she assumed they were just going for a drive, maybe they’d stop and get something to eat along the way. and when she realized sam was pulling into the parking lot of an aquarium, her eyes absolutely lit up. 

sam looked over to her, noticing how she shifted to sit straighter in her seat. her hands were clenched by her side on the seat in excitement, and she was grinning from ear to ear. he couldn’t help but smile at how excited she looked, the look in his eyes overflowing with love.

“please tell me this is real and not a dream,” she blurted out. sam chuckled at her response, taking one of his hands off the steering wheel to lightly pinch her.

“not a dream, sweetheart. we’re going on an aquarium date,” sam said, only to hear y/n quietly squeal. 

they pulled into a parking spot, y/n practically jumping out of the still running car after sam hit the brake. sam turned the car off as fast as he could, locking it and walking towards y/n near the sidewalk. she was bouncing on her heels, smiling up at her boyfriend as he stopped next to her. he held his hand out for her and she rose up on her tip toes to kiss him. he leaned down, his lips meeting hers, and she smiled once again to break the kiss.

“thank you,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling as they looked into his. 

“anything for my girl,” he murmured back, pulling her along towards the aquarium. they bought two tickets, and got their hands stamped with a blue fish to allow them to enter. 

as they made their way through the exhibits of fish, y/n couldn’t stop looking around her in awe. she would stop and watch as the fish swam by, pointing at certain ones and telling sam what kind of fish they were. at one point she saw a shark, one of her favorite marine animals, and pulled sam away from the fish they were looking at to see the shark. he laughed at how giddy she was.

they reached a smaller exhibit of fish, admiring the coral and all the smaller fish that swam in and around the coral. at one point, y/n noticed a small orange and white fish – a clownfish.

“sam, look at that one! it’s a–”

“nemo!” sam finished her sentence, though that wasn’t at all what she was planning on saying. she giggled, shaking her head.

“a clownfish! nemo is a clownfish, though, so you got that one right,” she said, turning her head back to look at the fish again. 

this time, sam pointed at another fish, coloured with red, yellow, and orange. its face was spotted two shades of red and its body had orange and yellow stripes. three black dots traced the middle of its body back to its tail. 

“what’s that one called?” he asked her, looking intently at her for the answer. 

she kept staring at the fish before saying, “that’s a blackside hawkfish! they’re actually really popular in aquariums, and it’s mostly solitary. it eats crustaceans, so like shrimp or krill, and small fish! it’s also a really cool predator, it’s an ambush predator, so it sits and waits until prey swims by, so it can dart out and eat it! and they’re sequential hermaphrodites, so the adults are all females except for one, and if that one dies or something then the largest female hawkfish becomes the male. they’re such cool fish. and isn’t it pretty?” y/n said, ending her long-winded rant about the hawkfish. 

sam kept looking at her, his expression soft as he watched the way her face tipped up and the way she stared in awe at every fish that passed by. 

“yeah,” he said, still looking at her, “the prettiest.”

in that moment, he realized he wanted nothing more than to marry her.

he wanted to put that ring around her finger, hear everyone call her y/n winchester, have her officially be his. he was already thinking up the plans – where to buy that proposal ring, where to get down on one knee.

soon, he promised himself, soon. perhaps they’d hold the wedding by the sea, so he could watch her face as she glimpsed at the fish in the water.  

[thesirencove]

ᨒ ོ ☼ YOU'VE BECOME MY CEILING -- SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER

another angst fic !! i love writing angst so this is nothing new from me ofc :) once again , this is a fic i posted on a previous blog , which i since removed from said blog as i decided to focus on another topic . so i'm here to once again share my works :) i've also since edited this fic a bit , as i wrote it a bit ago !! let me know your thoughts on this one and enjoy <3

my requests are open and let me know if anyone would like a part two to this !

tissues are once again needed and there is no use of y/n in this fic

sam winchester x fem!reader (romantic)

summary: when sam pulls away, and reader just can't keep going. loosely based on the song "the gold" , specifically phoebe bridgers version

warnings: break ups (sorta ?) , minor descriptions + mentions of suffocation (if you blink you'll probably miss it) , abandonment , loss of love (to some degree) , unrequited love but not really (???) , sad sam (again </3)

word count: 1.8k

love was difficult. it was consuming. beautiful. costly. the best feeling in the world, and the worst one. it was all of these things at the same time. 

sometimes it was the most freeing thing in the world. other times it was suffocating. it could be a good suffocating, at times. the love so overwhelming that she burst with joy at the feeling. a love she held so closely that she couldn’t find ways to express it any further even as she drowned in the feeling.

other times it made her want to cry everything out. it made her want to collapse on the floor, heart and lungs heavy. it made her dread the silence during fights, or the sleepless nights waiting for a phone call back. it made her dread the days spent waiting for him to come home. the tears welling up in her eyes when she could only imagine the worst as minutes became hours, which would become days and eventually weeks. it was dreadful.

but the good parts made up for it. the nights spent curled up in each others’ arms. hearing each others’ shallow breaths as they slept. the warmth of being near one another. the way the light shone in a different way, because things were good. things were calm. he was home and so was she. the smiles rarely ever left either of their faces. being in close proximity was all they needed. they’d talk, but the silence was just as peaceful. it wasn’t deafening or painful. it didn’t make her heart wrench. both of them were safe and in love and happy. 

that’s not the way it was now. right now the silence was heavy. so was her heart. her lungs felt like they were constricting. like there wasn’t enough air left for her to breathe. it felt like their love was dying out. like the flame they’d so carefully spent time fostering was dying out, providing barely any light. she didn’t want it to. she was grabbing at it, pulling it back towards her, like a child trying to save their most prized possesion that’s about to be thrown out. she tried to save it. so, so hard. she would spend nights awake, thinking how to fix things. how to make it better, for both of them. how to make sure they were both safe and in love and happy again. 

but he wasn’t making that effort. he had shut down. she didn’t know what it was. he came home one day after weeks of no contact on a long hunt, and since then it’s been like this. she had to tiptoe around him on eggshells. the feeling of acid burning her throat never left. she tried to get him to talk. to say something. to open up to her, so she could help him. but he had snapped. she wouldn’t give up, though. she tried, again and again. it always ended the same, with sam angry and her silent tears soaking the pillow. after months of trying she decided it wasn’t worth pushing any further. 

he would open up in time, right? he just needed to find the initiative to come to her himself, to not be forced into opening up, right? things would get fixed in time and it would be all okay again. but it didn’t happen. the time didn’t come. and yet again, hours would become days, which would be come weeks and slowly those weeks would become months. except this time he wasn’t away. he was home. he was with her. and yet the distance between them was further than ever before.

i love you, she thought.

i love you with all my heart and soul. i love you unconditionally. i love you even through the heaviness in my heart and the tears that stain my cheeks every day. 

but it’s just not enough, she realized. her one-sided love wasn’t enough. she couldn’t be the only person with love in this relationship. it was slowly breaking her, tearing her apart. she was a shell of herself now, just as sam has been these past few months.

so she packed a bag. just one. only what she needed. not everything. she left the rest. she would be coming back. she knew she would. a love like this doesn’t just end. there’s bumps in the road. there always are. but this bump needed a little extra time and care. and that had to come in the form of being away. she needed to be able to breathe. perhaps he, too, needed space. 

distance makes the heart grow fonder, no?

and with that one bag in hand, she left the room she shared with him. with her sam. the love of her life. the man who now sat at the kitchen table, absolutely unrecognizable. she watched him from afar. sitting there, motionless. a bottle of beer stood in front of him. 

she placed her bag down where she was, positioning it so he wouldn’t see. and she entered the kitchen.

one last time, she thought to herself. she wouldn’t be saying goodbye. that’s not what this was. she was going to be back. but she couldn’t leave without seeing him one more time. giving him one last kiss before she was gone. 

“sam,” she croaked out. her voice was barely louder than a whisper. he didn’t respond.

“sam,” she said once again, louder this time. it caught his attention. he looked up at her.

“i love you,” she said to him. her eyes were glossy. she was breathing as evenly as she could, her lungs constricting as her heart beat so fast that she practically felt it in her throat. she didn’t want him to see her cry, even though he had so many times in the past. 

“mhm,” was his only response. he looked away from her soon after, his motions so slow they were almost robotic. it was as though he were on autopilot, picking up his beer and taking a swig of it. she took that as her sign. her final push. to do this. to take some time away from him, let him figure things out. he wasn’t going to do that with her around. these past few months have proven that. even through every time she tried to help him, to figure out why he’d shut down, he would just push her further away. she bent down and placed a kiss to his forehead.

i’m sorry, she thought to herself.

and so she took one last look at him. she turned towards the door. and she walked out. moving her legs was a chore. it was difficult and every bone in her body screamed at her to turn back around. to get down on the floor, to her knees, and beg him to talk to her, to tell her what was wrong. but it wouldn’t work. she knew that, because she already tried it. 

so against every instinct in her body, against every thought in her head but one, she grabbed the bag she had hidden behind the wall outside the kitchen, and left. 

sam heard the door close. he didn’t think much of it. a day later, when the house was quieter than he was used to, he glazed over the thought that she wasn’t back yet. but that one day had yet again become days, which had eventually become a week. something changed in him. he called her. he rung her phone non-stop. he left message after message. he had sat in that same spot in the kitchen, phone in hand, waiting for her to pick the phone back up. but she hadn’t.

he had finally woken up from his daze. he finally realized that he had lost her. it took her leaving for him to realize that things weren’t okay. that he wasn’t okay. none of it was. 

he wished he had told her, that he opened up to her about what happened on that hunt. about how he tried to save a child, and couldn’t. how he saw himself in this young boy, so frightened and yet trying to show strength. a child that he then saw buried by his family a week later. the monsters in town were gone thanks to him, but a child had died. and he couldn’t forgive himself for that, he couldn’t bring himself to function properly. this child, so closely mirroring his younger self was gone because of him. and so he shut down.

she tried to help him, to get him to open up, but goddamnit he just wouldn’t listen. and now he’d lost her, too. she was gone, not answering the phone. he wasn’t sure if she’d ever come back, though he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. 

and one lonely night in november, sam was laying in her room. he’d been curled up in a ball on her bed, her scent having nearly faded completely, when he saw the leather poking out from inside her closet. and he got up. pulled out what it was that caught his eye. 

her journal. the one thing she refused to go anywhere without, she had left behind. so he opened it. and he read, and read, and read. he couldn’t stop reading. and he hated himself more and more with each entry. he knew he shouldn’t have read it, but he couldn’t help himself. he wasn’t sure if she’d ever come back, and this was the closest thing to her that he now had.

he watched their love crumple in front of his eyes, the memories burnt into the pages. but their love wasn’t enough for it to stay. 

it’s my fault, he’d repeat in his head. over and over and over again. non-stop, like a mantra. and when he got to the last page, he had felt his heart shatter. he had become physically ill at what he read. 

it’s like he’s become my ceiling, the page read. 

a blank wall i stare at, unmoving and not in love with me, no matter how much i may love him, it finished.

and just like that, sam winchester had broken himself more than he had already been broken. but he would wait. he’d wait for her to return. he’d look for her. he’d hope that she’d come back. and in the meantime he’d work on himself. fix himself. he’d pull himself out of the rut he was in, so that when she came back, he could give her all the love in the world again. so she could look at him with all the light in the world once more. 

he would become her the sun again and brighten her world. he realized that he needs to open up to her, that he can rely on her. he doesn’t have to be scared of her love anymore. she wouldn’t run away if he told her what happened. she’d only love him unconditionally. and oh, how sam wished she were still here.

[thesirencove]

˙✧˖° [◉ °] ⋆｡ ˚ TO BE LOVED BY A PHOTOGRAPHER -- SAM WINCHESTER X READER

cute fluffy blurb to make up for my being offline !! i've been recovering from an exam and hurricane <3 hope everyone is doing well , and enjoy this newest blurb !

my requests are open ! :)

sam winchester x gn!reader (romantic)

summary: what is life like when sam falls in love with a photographer ?

warnings: none !

word count: 353

sam loving a photographer. them taking pictures of him as often as possible, claiming him as their muse. bringing a camera on every trip, every hunt to snap as many photos as possible. ones of sam, sometimes of him sleeping and others of him driving. some of him at a diner, right as he’s taking a bite of his salad. 

photos of everything they see along the way on their hunts, of the mountains and the fields. of mundane things, like gas stations and the broken sign of a diner. there are photos of an abandoned playground, of paintings in a museum they visited. there’s likely pictures of everything one could think of. anything that they see as beautiful, in some way, they take a photo of. most of their photos are made up of sam, as they find him more beautiful than anything else. 

sam will be in the middle of doing research for a case, and suddenly he’ll hear the click of the camera. he’ll look up at his lover, bewildered and ask them what they’re doing. they’ll shrug and say he looked pretty. he’d blush at this, lowering his head before returning to his research, the words you looked pretty repeating in his head, over and over again.

they’d teach sam how to take photos, watching as he took blurry shots of them and cherishing them forever. he’d go around taking pictures of cola cans on the floor, the menu at a diner, a random piece of trash he found sitting in the grass. every little thing to build up his skills and make his photographer proud. 

he’d find random photos that his lover printed out all around the bunker. there’d likely be an entire album dedicated to his beloved’s most favorite photos of him. he’d laugh at them all, especially at the one of him looking up at his love, his mouth open as a piece of salad is in the process of falling off his fork. he’d smile at the gems, the photos that make him feel like the luckiest man in the world.

sam loving a photographer :)

[thesirencove]

.˚ ༘ ݁₊᪥⋆. ݁☾⋆ NEAL CAFFREY X FEM!READER -- IN THE LILAC GROVE

hi everyone ! this fic got lost in my drafts for such a long time , but it's finally here !! it took me a while to get this one written because of a mix of writer's block & stress from classes . this was a random idea i got and i felt like i had to write it with neal . it's very angst which i was very evilly giggling over as i wrote this >:) thank you for the patience on this fic , and enjoy !

my requests are still open , so be sure send in any y'all have :) i'll be slowly working through any that get sent over as exam season has come to an end & i've started winter break !

neal caffrey x fem!reader (romantic)

summary: when neal forgets what's supposed to be the most important day of his life, things become irreparable.

warnings: angst, mentions of heartbreak, mentions of a rocky relationship, wedding, the looming end of a relationship

word count: 2.7k

when the light flooded into her bedroom windows this morning, she awoke the happiest woman alive. her heart was fluttering and the smile never left her face from the moment she opened her eyes. she was so giddy, so excited for today. 

the day she and neal were meant to get married. 

he proposed to her a few months back. they planned a quaint ceremony, just the two of them in a lilac grove. it was always her dream to get married in a lilac grove. he knew that–has known that since their five month anniversary. they would get married and then run away together. neal loved consulting for the fbi, but he loved her more. he knew that if he still consulted there, even married their relationship would continue to be strained.

it’s been that way for a little while now. neal promising to be home, only to arrive late. his dinner left on the table, cold after being there for hours. the first few times, she stayed up for him. waited for him to arrive, reheating his meal once he got home with a smile. playing the part of a doting wife, without the ring on her finger. 

then it became a regular occurrence for him to get home late, staying up working on a case in the office. losing track of time. he’d miss dates, forget about the close friends who were meant to come over for dinner. he left her with everything, while he consumed himself in his work. it wasn’t the same as before, no, it hadn’t been for a while.

something had changed in him, and she didn’t know what. she didn’t understand how their perfectly balanced life had dissolved into this. how the days once spent together became ones spent in solitude.

but he promised to make an effort. he’d get home on time at least once a week. they went on dates once a month, if his work allowed. and then he proposed, and it felt like the answer to their problems. like a saving grace, an angel sent to her directly from God himself. 

she said yes, of course. she can’t remember much of that night, but she knows she was crying. she knows it was likely the happiest she’s ever felt, and she wanted to hold on to that. she did hold on to that. she was so excited to marry neal. when they set up their plans, and neal told her they could run away together, that they could make up for lost time, she was sold. 

she’d have given away her heart on a platter for him if only it meant she could finally be with him, the way she’d been longing for these last months.

neal still had a case to tend to this morning, but he promised her that he’d be there. he’d get to the lilac grove at five o’clock sharp, dressed in his best suit and favorite fedora. he’d be there, ready to commit his life to hers. ready to love her the way she deserved to be loved. 

the hours leading up to their set time were grueling. she went on a coffee run first, cleaned her apartment–or what was left of it, as all her bags were packed and boxes littered every corner with all her things–and even read an entire book in anticipation. 

until the ceremony was finally approaching, and time began to slip out of her hands.

and so she got ready, putting on the a-line wedding dress she bought weeks before. the satin dress was simple, yet it had the most beautiful corset top, laced in the back with chiffon sleeves that draped off her shoulders. the skirt fell to her ankles, highlighting the shoes she wore. the elegant sandal pumps laced up with a beautiful bow tied right at her calf. they laced up similarly to a ballerina’s. she smiled at the thought. it made her feel pretty. she styled her hair, putting it up into a beautiful up-do. a mix of braids and white crystal flowers. she worked on it for what felt like hours so it would look perfect.

she texted neal right before she left, telling him that she can’t wait to see him. that she can’t wait to finally be his wife. her heart was beating erratically and the smile gracing her face had never been brighter. this was the start of a new beginning for them afterall, no?

hopping in the car, she drove to the lilac grove, walking underneath the arches she visited just two weeks prior. it felt surreal. walking here, on the day of her wedding, about to get married to the love of her life. about to run away with him, and live the life she’d dreamed of them having together. 

she was early, so she took in the beauty. she stood there, in the middle of the field and closed her eyes as she breathed in the smell of the flowers around her. she felt at peace. she felt happy. it was everything she’d ever dreamt of. all that was missing was neal. so she sat on a bench, near the arch they would stand under with the officiant and waited for him.

and waited.

and waited.

thirty minutes passed. she tried to text him, but the text never went through. the wifi here never worked, the officiant told her. she nodded, staying silent.

an hour passed, and she tried again. the officiant was getting a little restless. so was she. he felt bad for her, she could tell considering how his eyes shone with pity whenever he looked at her. she sat on the bench, anxious, thinking maybe something happened to him on the case. she felt her nails splitting at she picked and scratched at the stone bench, attempting to calm herself.

more time passed, and it only got darker and darker. it had been hours since their agreed upon time, and neal never came. once eight o’clock hit, she accepted he wasn’t coming.

“i’m sorry for wasting your time,” she said, getting up from her spot on the bench. “it seems my fiancé is occupied by another matter.” it took everything in her for her voice not to break. 

“i’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. 

“it’s alright. nothing i can do, right?” she responded, a grave smile adorning her face. the man nodded. 

“please let me know if you need anything.” her head fell at the words, and she hear his footsteps in the grass as he walked away. 

her smile wasn’t as bright as this morning.

she sat there, defeated. eventually the dam broke. the tears started in quiet streams down her face, the mascara she so carefully painted onto her eyelashes smudging her cheeks. her sobs became louder, shaking her entire body. her hand weakly came up to cover her mouth, her eyes squeezing shut. breathing was difficult, and it took all of her effort to stop crying for a second so she could breathe. the bench suddenly felt so high up off the floor, and so she fell to the ground in a heap, using her arms to hold herself up as she continued to sob. her hands pawed at the grass, dirt digging into her palms and under her nails. her dress was starting to become dirty, too, but she couldn’t care less. she just kept sobbing, pouring her heart out. at one point she began to dry heave. 

her heart was shattered in the same place she dreamed to be married to neal. to the love of her life. she completely fell apart in that moment, underneath the moonlight as a soft breeze flowed by. she felt the lilacs brushing against her from the breeze, almost as if to reach out to comfort her, to try and embrace her in the hug she so desperately desired in this moment. 

the tears stopped after what felt like an eternity. the time on her phone told her it was already long past nine. taking a breath, she stood up. she had to get up, to keep going because otherwise she would never leave the grove. her hands shook as they gripped the bouquet and her phone, and she started to walk away from the arch. away from the bench where she felt her heart shatter. 

dirt covered her hands and the bottom of her dress was lightly stained brown. there were still mascara stains on her cheek. her veil caught on a branch, and she tugged for it to come loose. she walked out of there, holding her head up despite the ache in her heart. 

she should have expected it. she should have known he’d get caught up with work again, that he’d forget. she wasn’t sure when exactly she’d been put on the backburner of importance in his life. it happened so suddenly, became the norm so quickly that she lived with it. until she couldn’t anymore. 

she knew this had to be the end. neal once told her that she changed him, and yet she wondered how much she did if their wedding day wasn’t important enough for him to make time for. neither of them would be happy unless something changed, and she knew it wouldn’t. so she had to be the one to walk away first.

she walked to her car, pulling the door to the driver’s seat open. she got into the car, closing the door behind her, and once again she felt her heart shatter. she didn’t have the energy to cry anymore, so she just sat there in defeat. her hands were wrapped together in her lap, and her forehead on the steering wheel as shaky breaths escaped her. she took one deep breath, trying to pull herself together as much as she could. 

she drove home, to the apartment she and neal shared. her heels scrapped the ground as she walked to the front door, as she forced herself to keep going and walk into the home filled with so many of their memories. 

the home that was empty as she walked through the front door. she looked at the boxes strewn in every corner, the table with scuff marks made over the years, the unmade bed that she’d hoped they’d sleep in together tonight. together, as newlyweds. 

she slipped her heels off, walking into the bathroom. the cool tiles on the floor made her shiver as she stepped across them, instinctively rising onto her toes. she peeled the wedding dress off of herself, leaving it on the floor. the bottom half was covered in mud. 

she didn’t bother taking off her makeup or taking her hair down. she just wiped the smeared mascara away and changed into new clothes. a soft yellow sweater she’d bought a few weeks earlier and jeans. she put socks onto her feet and a pair of white sneakers. she worked swiftly, gathering her things. the boxes she’d packed already had hers and neals’ things separated. she scoffed at the irony. going in and out of the apartment, putting each box into her car and topping it off with the luggage she packed for what she thought would be their honeymoon. 

it took some time, but she was able to fit everything in the car. her entire life, minus neal, all packed away. she went back to the apartment one last time, her eyes catching on the dress she left in the bathroom. making her way to it, she kneeled on the floor, clutching it in her hands. holding it close to her, trying to savour what would have been happy memories. 

she knew she couldn’t take it with her. it would be too painful. she’d find it every few months, shoved in a box, and it would break her all over again. so she left it in the apartment, draped over a chain in the dining room. a reminder to neal what was meant to happen. the dress he’d never get to see her in.

looking around for what would likely be the final time, she smiled sadly at the years spent here, and closed the door. she locked it after her, making her way downstairs to the car. hopping in, the warmth inside a stark contrast to the cool night prickling at her skin, she drove away, and did not look back.

—

on the other side of town, neal was drowning in papers. trying to make sense of the case they were currently on. peter had brought it to him this morning, fashioning it as a quick and easy case. that was far from the truth. 

the second he began tugging at the strings, trying to unravel this case, he was focused on nothing else. it was almost as though this case was the only thing to exist. some part of him knew there was something missing, something he’d forgotten, but he shoved it down to stay focused on what was in front of him. time had passed and it was now late into the evening, but he barely realized.

trying to piece together what the letter, obviously a calling card, received by an art gallery nearby could possibly link to. which painting was going to be stolen, or was there another motive underneath it all? the signature had especially stuck out to him, making him sift through old cases and even looking into his own past, thinking it could have been someone he crossed paths with before. 

as he was staring at the case file, he felt his phone buzz. he ignored it, until it buzzed again, and again. it kept going, a flood of messages, almost like they’d been sending for ages and only just now came through. he picked his phone up, frustrated. who could be sending him this many messages while he was in the middle of an important case?

when he realized who it was, and skimmed through some of the messages, his heart dropped. he wasn’t sure how he’d get out of this one. if he’d get out of this one. he grabbed his suit jacket off his chair as quickly as he could. 

would she still be there? would she have left already, and been sat waiting at their apartment? or maybe–

he couldn’t bring himself to finish that last though. to think that she could have left. part of him wouldn’t blame her for it. he’s been letting her down for so long. neal promised to marry her, to start a new life with her. to leave everything behind. he wasn’t sure how he would have done it. neal loved his job, working with peter, catching the bad guys. it was part of him. but she was part of him, too. she was the most important piece of him, and he couldn’t let that go. 

speeding to get to their shared apartment wasn’t easy. traffic was heavy, and he kept getting stuck behind people who he swore couldn’t drive. he tried calling her, but it went to voicemail every time. 

by the time neal arrived, running to open the door, it was too late. his heart heart plummeted even further than before. his face contorted as he tried to stop himself from crying at the sight of their empty apartment. what was even worse was the dress, staring at him from its place on the chair. he walked slowly towards it, picking it up in his hands gently. neal dropped to the floor with it in his hands, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. 

he pulled his phone out with shaky hands, texting her, over and over again to apologize. he didn’t know what he could even say in this situation. how do you make up for missing your own goddamned wedding?

the phone fell to the floor beside him, as he crumpled into a ball, his back against a leg of the table and his arms wrapped around himself. he held the dress close to him, as though she’d magically appear in it if he held it tightly enough.

drowned by his string of messages, apologizing, begging for another chance, was the final message she’d sent him before leaving.

“i’m still here, neal. why aren’t you?”

[thesirencove]

✩°｡𓏲⋆.𓋼𖦹 ₊˚ THE BAKERY – NEAL CAFFREY X READER

this fic is based on a request i got from an anonymous user , which can be seen here ! i was so excited to get this , it was my first requeset and i wanted to make sure it was up to par . i hope this is what you wanted , and thank you so so much for sending it in !

my requests are still open , so be sure send them in :) i'll be slowly working through any that get sent over !

neal caffrey x fem!reader (romantic)

summary: when neal falls in love with a girl who owns a bakery in the city and dreams of a cottage in the woods . based on this request .

warnings: none !

word count: 1.2k

the first time neal met her, she had just come out of the bakery’s kitchen, smiling at him as she laid out new loaves on the shelf labeled, “sourdough.” elizabeth had been raving about the new bakery that opened up not too far from the office, and he felt a pull to go there. he found it especially ironic that he once bought a bakery, chuckling to himself about how different this one would be. it definitely wouldn’t involve him jumping out of a window onto the awning. 

he walked inside, the door chiming a voice from the back yelling out to give her just a minute! he stood in front of the display case, met with some of the most beautiful pastries he’d ever seen. a variety of croissants, pain au chocolat, peach and strawberry chaussons – there were so many of them. and the amount of bread that adorned each shelf was incredible. each bread was separated from one another, a label underneath each and atop it all was a sign with the labels “boule – 6.50” and “batard – $7.50” 

the rest of the bakery was beautiful as well. the walls were covered in golden oak panels, refinished to look like they had a long history. there was a case in the front right corner of multiple different flowers, and there were baskets near the pastry display cases of lavender and wildflowers. they were tied together with various colours of ribbon, a bow at the front of each bouquet to complete them. on the opposing side from the flower case was a shelf of honey jars, with a cute yellow sign reading, “honey, home-grown and fresh! bees are well taken care of :) $5.00”

he smiled at how sweetly everything was put together. he knew a lot of thought had gone into this place, and everything was so pretty. not only that, but the smell of pastries in the case made his mouth water. he knew he needed to buy a bunch to bring back to the office, and a few extra on top of that to give to mozzie.   

when she walked out from the kitchen area as he was surveying the palce, sourdough loaves in hand and smiling at him, neal thought he’d gone to heaven right then and there. she had the brightest, most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. he wanted to see that smile over and over again for the rest of his life. he felt his own mouth immediately rise into a smile as well as he looked at her restocking the sourdough loaves. 

“i see those are popular,” he said once she turned back towards him.

“oh, yes! they go out of stock really early in the morning, but today i made some extra. poor cin-dough-ella is being put to serious work every day for that bread,” she said, frowning at the end.

“cin-dough-ella?” neal asked, curious to what she meant. what the hell is a cin-dough-ella?

“that’s what i named my sourdough starter! she’s been in the family for years now, it felt right to finally give her a name,” she nodded, content, before continuing, “anyways, what can i get you today?” 

“definitely one of those sourdough loaves,” neal replied, grinning at her.

after the loaves of bread, he got two entire boxes of pastries filled: one for home (to share with mozzie and june, of course) and one for the office. he kept making small-talk with the bakery owner, liking her more and more as the minutes passed. once he paid, he thanked her and left. he was only 20 steps away from the bakery when he decided to turn back around and ask for her number. so began their love story.

he since learned that she always wanted to own a bakery, but she never expected for it to be in the city. she always thought it’d be in the countryside, where she’d live in a cottage and perhaps even have her own animals. plans change, though, and she ended up moving to the city for reasons out of her control. she was quite happy here, though, and having the bakery at least solved one part of the equation. 

neal was happy that she moved here, and that he had met her when he did. they’d gone on three dates since their first meeting before making it official. it’s been three years since then, and they were more in love than the first time they met.

neal often came home to their shared apartment and found her baking. she was always trying new recipes and wanting to welcome him home with a fresh pastry. he had absolutely no complaints about that. he also found a way to make her cottage dreams come true, being able to get his hands on a beautiful home in the countryside that they could go to for vacations. he still has the memory etched in his mind from when he surprised her with the cottage, the smile she had on her face as happy tears rolled down her face. she hugged him so hard, whispering thank you’s into his neck.

he would always do what he could to make her happy, and she gave back as much as she could. they both had their bad days. ones where she would have an unsuccessful day at the bakery and felt discouraged, and he’d remind her that tomorrow is a new day. he’d hug her and comfort her and love her all the ways she needed to be loved. and there were the days where neal would come home after an awful day working on a new case, feeling hopeless and like he couldn’t do anything to help. and she’d remind him that he was the smartest man she knew, that he knew what he was doing, and that maybe he needed to look at the case from a new angle. she’d remind him of how beautiful his heart was and hold him and love him all the ways he needed to be loved. 

from the moment they locked eyes on that first day, smiles adorned on both of their faces, it was written into the world that they were it for each other. there was no love greater than the one they held for each other. always putting one another above anything else, making time to spend together, ensuring that they were always prioritized and never felt pushed away. it wasn’t always perfect, but they were a team as much as they were lovers and it worked.  

neal’s love with the girl who owns a bakery, one who loves wildflowers and wants a cottage in the woods is one he wouldn’t give up for anything. and maybe one day, when they no longer want to live in the city, they’ll move full time to that cottage in the countryside and raise cows and bees and sheep together. she’d teach him how to make sourdough bread and pain au chocolat, and he’d do the handiwork around their home and make the best wine they’d ever tasted. this love would be absolute bliss, and it would last forever. it would leave them sitting on their porch, old and grey, hand in hand as they still love one another just as much as they did when they were young.