#⁽ ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡ identification: john ˚₊‧ ⁾

[unheavenly-archive]

pyro tells himself that he hates iceman.   and a part of him does:   completely and irrevocably,   violently and passionately,   at times even religiously.   there was a fine line from love to hate.   yet still,   sometimes,   when the night is quiet,   bobby drake is all that comes to mind.   and john wishes he could wrap his hand around his throat and...   ❛❛   robert louis drake.   ❜❜   there is a taunt to the fire mutant’s tone at the drop of his friend’s full name,   a warning not far behind it.   despite where they stood,   he still knew bobby like the back of his hand;   knew him better than he knew himself sometimes,   and this was a dangerous road they were moving towards.   ❛❛   why can’t you just let me go,   man?   fuck,   just let me go.   ❜❜

he is unashamed to plea for his freedom.   john was aware that as long as bobby did not let him go,   some part of him would always doubt his choices and his actions.   even worse,   he could not give himself to any cause in his entirety,   because his priority would always be finding iceman   —   fighting iceman,   having his hands on him.   attempting to convince himself that he wanted him dead.   ❛❛   don’t fuckin’ make it sound like i’m breakin’ up with you.   we can’t keep doing this to ourselves...   you can’t keep doing this to me.   ❜❜   at that,   pyro’s voice finally breaks,   and he pulls the phone away from his ear.   when he speaks again,   his voice is convincingly empty,   ❛❛   don’t sound so eager,   sweetheart.   ❜❜   but he is already grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.   

❛❛   and if i said come and find me?   i'll leave a scorchin’ trail for you to follow.   ❜❜   could his old friend catch the smirk at his words?   he could certainly picture bobby’s expression at them.   ❛❛   neutral ground.   how’s a hotel room?   ❜❜   @clafre   ♥

[unheavenly-archive]

anyway,   pyro has every right to be as angry,   selfish,   and hurt as he is.   no one in his life has actually valued him or what he desired,   no one has protected him or cared for him without strings attached or without judgment   —   no one truly took the time to understand that he had been on his own and hated by his family for being what he was.   he was right for not wanting to hide who or what he was and to not be ashamed or scared of his own powers,   instead wanting to use them and grow more powerful.   however,   i do not think either side actually deserved him.   both the so-called good guys and bad guys used john;   they either tried to keep him unquestioning and under control or they let him be set off just to use his power.   underneath it all,   pyro is driven by loyalty but it has never been returned and he has been burned so many times by where he has misplaced it,   that now he does not want to place it anywhere.   personally,   i write him as being independent,   not on anyone’s side.   he does things for him,   for his own agenda,   and peace of mind   —   he does not go about anything in the best or purest way,   of course,   but that is just fine with him.   he could fight against anyone,   he could fight for anyone,   but at the end of the day,   it is just him by himself,   protecting himself from being hurt again.   also,   forever thinking of the deleted scene where pyro was so out of it and hurt and actually created his own fire.   that is what i focus on as well!

[unheavenly-archive]

what is your underlying motif?

john allerdyce:   the lightning rod.

whether it is your turbulent nature,   your flash quick mind,   or the air of unknown about you,   your undercurrent is the lightning rod.   you are somewhat unpredictable,   but if we unravelled we would see that you know exactly what you are doing,   but it makes you feel less vulnerable to pretend it was not planned.   some people stay back from you,   but the others would follow you cross country,   for the very same reason.   they do not know enough about you.   the difference is in who wants to learn more.   keep your golden nature,   it is exciting,   but do not be afraid to admit what you know.   matshona dhliwayo said “lightning strikes but does not roar”   —   your bite will always be worse than your bark,   keep that close to your chest.

tagged by:   @bllakcat.   tagging:   @thengone,   @unmorbid,   @undispose,   @mournlamb,   @ruingod,   @wiseagent,   @eiqht.

what is your underlying motif?

alex claremont-diaz:   the coffee.   

whether it is your sharp tongue,   your tendency to blow hot or cold,   or the familiarity of you,   you are the coffee.   do not immediately assume that your undercurrent means you are bitter,   a common misconception,   because people who like coffee always make it work for them.   coffee does not always have to be dark,   it can be a warmth that is comforting and the first start to a day.   you are not nearly as tough as you make out to be,   but we will keep your secret.   you are a constant,   you will not ever go out of style.   not everyone’s taste,   but what is these days?   an unknown quote reads “i like drinking coffee alone and reading alone...   i realize that even though i like being alone,   i do not fancy being lonely”   —   remember you do not always need to face things yourself,   there is a reason people suggest “coffee?” when they want to spend time together.

julia cornwall:   the home.

whether it is your warm embrace,   your unwavering reliability,   your smile that says “welcome back”,   your motif is the home.   you are the equivalent to coming out of the rain to the fire on and your slippers waiting by the door.   your uncanny way of making people feel alright,   you are treasured in these trying times.   i respectfully request you take care of yourself,   the world will never be as kind to you as you are to it.   anne lammott said “lighthouses do not go running all over an island looking for boats to save;   they just stand there shining” and through unconventional,   lighthouses are inhabited and your cup runs over with generosity,   because you probably do not hear it enough...   thank you.

[unheavenly-archive]

the living flame takes the form of wings,   as beautiful as they are deadly.   john allerdyce:   the very image of a fallen angel.   their light is reflected in his eyes,   pure contentment etched in his sharp features.   admittedly,   the mutant only ever looks joyful when using his powers,   when shielded by his strength.   he tilts his chin upward,   his smile a rarity,   unguarded and warm;   one that wholly contradicts the edge to his vocal sentiment.   ❛❛   i’m the life of the party,   darlin’   —   and i’m a fuckin’ hit everywhere.   ❜❜   he stands taller then,   shoulders rolling back,   a movement that is mirrored by the flame’s wings.   he shares her sentiment of thriving in chaos,   and is quite fond of being the one to cause it as well.   perhaps,   that was the main reason for why they got along so beautifully,   and why he refused to lose her company.   hands slide into the pockets of his leather jacket,   wings dissolving into stubborn sparks that gravitate towards the cat.

‹   ♥   ›   @bllakcat:   wow,   nice trick.   i’m sure you’re a hit at parties.

the sparks take after their creator,   drawn in by the promise of feeling alive.   to no one’s surprise,   the fire mutant had grown exhausted of dealing with everyone’s dull agendas.   too many took what they were dealt and let it dim their light and taint their cause,   but not the black cat.   john dares to take a step closer,   his ocean eyes running over her form,   head tilting.   if curiosity killed the cat   —   what was to become of him?   ❛❛   well,   speakin’ of parties!   there’s one tonight i’ve been thinkin’ of crashin’.   would you wanna come?   heard certain mutants are gonna be there,   i can’t miss the fun.   ❜❜   correction:   he would not want to miss an opportunity to provoke them nor a confrontation.   despite the heat that runs in him,   he is left empty and cold when it comes to past friends.   ❛❛   you shouldn’t miss it either.   ❜❜   the things they could do together,   the heads they would turn.   ❛❛   kitten...   ❜❜   nearly accompanied by a purr of his own,   ❛❛   i got plenty more tricks up my sleeve.   ❜❜

[unheavenly-archive]

the mutant’s indifference ends in anger;   unforgiving fire escaping his fingertips,   lashing out at anyone that dares to disturb.   one did not need to be an expert on john to know that someone had caused this,   and whoever it was,   their effect ran deep.   his body trembles as he attempts to control himself,   fists clench and unclench as sparks continue to escape.   bobby fucking drake.   unable to tear himself from darkening thoughts,   he only manages it when someone drops behind him.   and pyro does not need to turn to see who it is   —   he would recognize his beloved anywhere.   an exhale as he turns,   the fire finally extinguishing as he looks at her.   did he have to pick?

he hears bobby’s voice in his head,   telling him that he could come back,   that it was not too late.   ❛❛   beautiful,   darlin’.   ❜❜   his tone is thick with rage and uncertainty,   however,   none of it is directed at her.   she extends a hand forward and after a heartbeat,   john reaches out to take it.   he laces their fingers together,   moving forward until he can hide his face in the warm,   inviting spot between her shoulder and neck.   ❛❛   fuck,   everyone’s always tryin’ to control me and what i do.   they’re always tryin’ to get me to one side or the other.   ❜❜   he trails off,   his free hand wrapping around her waist.

no issue being vulnerable with her,   however,   the fire mutant still struggles to run his tongue.   ❛❛   fuckin’ iceman...   he told me it wasn’t too late,   that i could go back.   he doesn’t get it,   that’s always been the problem with us;   he’s always actin’ like there’s somethin’ wrong with me,   and like i need to be fixed.   ❜❜   a deep,   ragged inhale,   finding anchor in her scent.   what would he do without her?   he did not desire to find out.   previously,   john had thought himself content and satisfied alone,   but since felicia?

he did not want a life post the cat.   he lifts his head slightly as she speaks,   mouth pressing against her pulse point;   he feels the words as much as he hears them,   and the force of it all sends a shiver shooting through his body.   i’m not trying to fix you   —   met with a kiss to her neck.   and he lifts his head,   moving his hands away from her body as she continues.   i love you,   just let me do that   —   met with hands gently cupping her face,   thumb running along her lower lip before he leans in to capture her mouth in a kiss.

‹   ♥   ›   @bllakcat:   i’m not trying to fix you.   i love you.   just let me do that.

all roads lead him to felicia hardy   —   after a life of being torn in a plethora of contrasting directions,   now the living flame knows where he belongs.   the cat engulfs him with all the love she speaks about,   looks at him like he is whole,   as if there is absolutely nothing to fix.   ❛❛   felicia...   ❜❜   he pulls back,   burning gaze seeking hers.   ❛❛   you’ve always been allowed,   sweetheart.   i could never deny you anything,   i wouldn’t want to either.   ❜❜   pyro kisses his beloved black cat again,   allowing the sweet,   heavy truth to settle.   ❛❛   i love you,   kitten.   ❜❜

[unheavenly-archive]

[ 📞 ] ‘ are you still there? ’ / bobby @ john

fights the urge to end the call.   admittedly,   he is fighting the urge to end it all.   the mutant remains quiet,   only their light breaths filling the silence as the question heavily lingers in the air.   he rolls his eyes despite the fact that no one will be witness to action   —   driven by the disdain he feels.   it slithers on the surface and bleeds into his depths,   mingling with the stubborn,   eternal affection residing there.   ❛❛   for now,   asshole.   ❜❜   his response finally comes,   guarded and gentle despite the rage building in his chest.   he did not want anything to do with bobby;   he was a traitor,   he had put him last.   ❛❛   anything that actually interests me?   i’m gettin’ real bored here.   ❜❜

his thoughts are venomous:   end iceman.   thumb hovers over button before a sigh escapes and he relents.   ❛❛   look,   bobby...   ❜❜   despite the firmness in his voice,   pyro is uncertain of where he wants to take the conversation.   and even more uncertain of how much he wants to give away.   did he want iceman back?   did iceman want him back?   ❛❛   there’s nothin’ left between us,   you know?   i think we should call it quits before we fuck each other up beyond repair.   ❜❜   they could fight and physically hurt each other endlessly,   but this   —   they could not keep doing this.   ❛❛   where are you?   i want to see you.   ❜❜

phone call prompts.   @clafre.