#…i might be obsessed with vox’s outfit

[natp20]

11 days and counting

[simphornies]

Glitchy [ Vox x F!Reader ] A/N: I needed more Vox x reader content. Might be a little bit off character but anways. Let me feed yall the way I was

You worked yourself up to finally be working with the Vees. Your rise in the ranks didn't go unnoticed. If you were called to fix the other employees' messes, a shiver would go down the spine of the unfortunate one that has to deal with you. Velvette adored your cutthroat personality. You to quickly became best friends. She made sure you were wearing the latest trends and looked utmost presentable and in return you made sure her models didn't stay out of line. Valentino tried to get you to be one of his top showgirls, something about making you as rich and powerful as him, to which you impolitely said no. He didn't take it to heart too much and you two were a force to be messed with. You didn't mind getting your hands dirty keeping his stars in control out on the streets. Vox was a different case. He seemed to keep his distance from you. Every time you asked him if he needed help, because he looks like he needed it, he would say no and quickly zap away into whichever electricity box was closest.

"Vel, does he hate me or something?" You whine at your overlord bestie, "Oh if only you knew, Y/N." She laughs as she continues to scroll through her phone. "You know, for a best friend that says they won't keep secrets, you sure are keeping this thing a secret." You huff, "I just want to know why, at every given opportunity, he seems to just look away or dash into wherever he goes." Valentino slides into the conversation, puffing his smoke above your sulking head, "Oh, honey, trust us. He adores you. Worships you even." He grins, "He literally can't keep you off of his screens, babe." Velvette rolls her eyes, "He literally won't stop talking about you every time you're not in the room." She rests her head on her chin, "Have you seen the way his face looks when you walk into the room in my top outfits? He gets such a har-"

Before they could continue, the lights flickered in the room and Vox zaps in front of the two Vees that are currently exposing his secrets. "Excuse me, what the fuck are you two talking about?" His screen glitched a bit. "Oh nothing. Just telling her how you really feel." "It's not your How about you answer her question then fuckface?" Velvette grinned in his face before walking towards the door, "Have fun sweetheart."

It was not just the two of you in the room. Awkward silence filled the room. "So," You start off to break the silence but Vox cuts you off, "What did they tell you?" "Well, they just said some crazy things like how you're obsessed with me and stuff but I honestly don't believe it considering this is the most we've ever spoke to each other since I started climbing the ranks." You scoff, "Hell! I'm basically a part of the Vees now and you still ignore me. Do you...hate me or something? Did I offend you in a way? I just want to know why you're so put off by me." Vox's smile drops and he turns, "No. I don't hate you." He sighs, "I just. Ever since you became a part of the company, you climbed so fast and it caught my attention. Your bloodlust, your passion, the way you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty for the sake of the company...It was..." He stumbles over his words, "It was fucking hot!"

Awkward silence again. You stare at him and blinked a couple of times, "Excuse me?" You ask, voice full of disbelief. Vox clears his throat before continuing, fixing his suit as he takes a couple steps towards you. "When you and Velvette became closer, I was ecstatic. I thought finally the chance I get to talk to you but FUCK she dressed you so hot. That little bit did that on purpose." He glitched again. You get up and got closer to him. You look up at the flustered overlord, "So, do you like me then? Or am I just an entertaining toy for you like Valentino's toys?"

"No I like you! Fuck you make me short-circuit every time I see you in action. Val wasn't lying when he said I couldn't keep you off my screens. You keep me on my toes, babe." He took your hands in his, "I will kill any motherfucker that lays a single finger on your hair. I want to run this company with you by my side. So are you up for it?"

"Maybe." You pull away, "Prove yourself to me, hotshot. Maybe I'll forgive you for zapping away everytime I talk to you." You smile as you walk towards the door, "I'll talk to you later, babe." You blow him a kiss before leaving.

Vox stood there in disbelief, unsure if that was a win or a lose. There's one thing he knows for sure: he will never ignore you again.

And that he needs to take care of a little problem he has down there.

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 3

(Foils 1 here)

(Foils 2 here)

(Foils 4 here)

Masterpost here.

Might as well crank out that one while I'm at it. Two words (and a half) : Alastor VS Vox.

(...Alright, not everybody at once, someone might get caught in the stampede.)

Yep, let's talk about two of the statistically main favorites (well, they're mine too in a way. In a "would like to see them trip up and crumble" way), who have a lot in common despite how much they despise each other. First of all, let's round up what we know : they have a Radio VS Video shtick that everyone and their dog knows about, inside and outside the show, are both Overlords, might have been closer in the past whatever that relationship was based on the torn photo of Alastor in Vox' possession (seen in Ep 8), Alastor died in the 1930s while Vox died in the 1950s, so the former has been around 20 years in Hell when the latter popped up there and highly probably met him there, Vox wanted him on his team at one point but Alastor turned him down as flat as his face, Vox infamously got butthurt (and it's implied he had/still has a crush on Alastor - at the very least a very strong interest to be noticed by him - if going by the Hazbin Wiki's cited sources, the archived "Hazbin Hotel Fashion Stream for the Comics") and metaphorically speaking declared war on him, while Alastor very much doesn't have the same obsession and outside of feeling aggravated by Vox' presence when Vox decides to crave attention, can't care less about him.

Hilariously enough, though, they have quite the lot of parallels, even hitting idependently the same idea - religious outfit, multi-shot of themselves around a target to get a point across, mocking doodles for a broadcast, ominous about-to-lose-it "What did you say" in a heavily filtered voice, clawing up a surface under out-of-control emotions, hundred-watts smile to keep up appearances (and as a tool like Alastor himself points out), the clothing style (though Vivienne liking bowties and suits does have a hand in it), the go-to guy where problems arise (Alastor being the powerful one dealing with physical threats the Hotel faces, Vox being the local babysitter to make things fall in line), the showmanship, the pride, the issues with control, the attention-craving tendencies and hatred of being ignored... you certainly saw the posts on Tumblr, I'm not the first one pointing this out, by far (deuxaeonn has a very good one here). But looking closely, it looks like either they have naturally a lot in common, or that someone (not naming names but giving you a hard sideglance, Vox) has caught habits or is emulating the other sub/consciously. Given that one had a 20 years heads-up in Hell on the other, well, can't be that far-fetched (even if nothing is confirmed at this point by now, at the time of writing).

The main difference is how they go at it : Alastor is steadier and truer to himself than Vox, who privileges quantity over quality. While both have issues with control and presenting an unflappable front (which they are very much not), Alastor manages to keep it better together, whereas Vox dissolves into what can be only called a tantrum when things don't go his way ("FffuhuHuck !") and his ego takes a blow. Vox also has to try harder or more actively to get attention to him (Stayed Gone's beginning, where he We Don't Talk About Bruno-ed himself by speaking about Alastor to say that it's useless to speak about Alastor. "Stop giving him the time of day !" - great job, buddy) while Alastor just has to pop up and in three quick sentences dresses him down in front of everyone. While Vox floods people with too much and meaningless information - be it visual or audible, hopping from scene to scene, Alastor plays with mystery and withholding information so that everyone goes crazy guessing ("I'm sure you've all been wondering") - which works well on the fans outside the show, but inside ? Not so much : Carmilla just shrugs him off, Zestial is mildly curious at best, the other Overlord don't even ask, Lucifer doesn't even know who he is, which drives him up the wall. The only one actually caring (despite insisting on the contrary) about what he does and why he's back ? Ironically, that's the one Alastor doesn't want to acknowledge !

(Oh, Vox, you wish Alastor would look at you the same way he looks at Lucifer... boy this is peak comedy gold.)

Alastor only needs his voice and aura of enigma wrapped into a mystery, while Vox has his face everywhere. Alastor chooses each moment to make them more impactful and plays his cards close to his chest, while Vox wants to be on all fronts and keep the cards coming to drown the opponent with them. Alastor only has to speak to intimidate, Vox relies on his bullshit-talking skills and hypnosis, though they both have confidence and charisma : Alastor's is more about danger and unpredictability, someone to be wary of, Vox' is about false friendliness and advertising, someone to trust. Alastor joins the Hotel for his own personal amusement and is very upfront about his sadistic motives, Vox plays friendly and hides his own behind false niceness and pretend service. With both of them, you need to read the fine print : literally with Vox ("Trust us ! With what ? None of your business" - seen on one of his posters in Ep 2 if you're looking for it) and metaphorically with Alastor - he'll honor his word, and his word alone.

Both also don't drop the façade when in private, though it doesn't take much for Vox to be pushed over the edge (a certain name will do it just fine), while Alastor keeps on the smile even in the middle of a breakdown (though if it's out of habit, or because he maybe literally can't is up in the air for now). They both want control and to be in control, and fancy themselves to be quite powerful. Their arrogance also doesn't help : Alastor goes against Adam without any angelic weaponry, and guess who loses the fight ? For Vox, Stayed Gone is basically him wanting to throw a stone and realizing too late it was in fact a boomerang. That he caught with his face. This guy should write a book : How To Shoot Yourself In The Foot 101. Funnily enough, they also seem to have issues with boredom and frustration : Alastor needs to be entertained, and Vox' life isn't sometimes as glamourous as he paints it out to be - that with having to deal with coworkers that put the "dick" in predictable and the "ass" in pass.

Alastor however is much more competent (if equally petty) at keeping it together than Vox, never losing that gentlemanly attitude (or almost). He rebounds more easily, and while both are manipulative, Alastor pushes the right buttons (not unlike Velvette, even if she's doing it very agressively) he knows will give him the best response, playing into insecurities and weaknesses (Cheap Booze (TM) for Husk, catering to Charlie's need of approval by playing the 'dad figure'), while Vox guides people to the conclusion he wants them to make by letting them think they did the process on their own (seen with Valentino) and prodding for the right answers. It's also interesting to see that, while he responds if provoked, up to know Alastor never really starts a song on his own : even Inside Of Every Demon Is A Lost Cause is a reprise riding on Charlie's Inside Of Every Demon Is A Rainbow that he composes on the fly. Stayed Gone has him responding to Vox, Hell's Greatest Dad is him hijacking Lucifer's show to steal his thunder, Ready For This has him as a part of the group, and only the Finale verse has him alone and clashing with the rest of the song, only popping back up from "And we'll do it with a smile !" line onwards.

It underscores nicely Alastor's ability to insert himself in the life of others and riding the coattails of what's currently going on to his needs, going along with the flow until his goals are met, from the shadows that make up his powers. Vox on the other side presents himself as a necessity taking over everyone's lives, in center-stage and spotlight, dominating all fields from TV shows to cereals and ice cream, for crying out loud, just like he did technology. His powers are lightning-based (outside of technology-themed), which makes a funny contrast with Alastor's shadows. Also, just to nail it home, one has an almost-complete red palette (with black accents) while the other's is blue (with bits of red). And of course, they're both the Old (Alastor, who dislikes anything made after his death in the 1930s) and the New (Vox, who keeps up with technology's evolution, always chases after new trends and replaced body parts like his head to fit better) - hence Vox also appearing more shallow but also more adaptative than Alastor, who's more upfront about his intentions but also a bit behind the times and could be left in the dust if he weren't so powerful, but in a way, like radio, is less regarded but still useful and relevant. As many people pointed out, radio waves are the basis for TV, after all.

Their ascentions to power are also different despite similarities : they both became each one of the well-known hot acts in Hell, though with Alastor it came completely out of left field to the shock of everyone, as he's rumored to be one of the most powerful Sinner souls in Hell on his own (presumably) and nobody knows how, while Vox is the powerful CEO of a domain that has monopoly on entertainment in the Pride Ring, and most-likely climbed the ladder in relatively "normal" ways compared to the sheer mystery surrounding Alastor : Vox made the right connections, used his knowledge, forged the right contracts and alliances at the right times and like other companies associated himself with the right people for it to work (the Vees). Vox managed to fight Alastor and live to tell the tale (getting "almost beaten"), and while Alastor can easily upstage him, this means that he's still worthy of the title of Overlord and probably no slouch in an actual fight. Probably. Or at least has a style of fighting that makes him annoying and/or dangerous to face. However, what Alastor can face on his own and mainly alone, Vox has to do while relying on others.

But seriously, if these two are revealed to have been sort-of buddies in the past, I wouldn't be surprised.

(Also, just adding : the idea of Vox getting dissed romantically by someone who thought they just dissed him in a business-way, because they're completely blind to the potential romantic implications, and Vox thinking this was on purpose, is just gut-busting hilarious. I don't know which way it'll go in the show, but if it happens that way, I WILL crack my whole ribcage in hysterics.)

Welp, see ya next time by brain goes "ding !" again.

Again, Masterpost here.

PS : Thank you deuxaeonn for allowing the link to your post !

[letmerambleplease]

Ok I need someone to make this a fic or sth please! It might be a little ooc for some characters but still kind of cute? (I need more Velvette content!)

So Val and Vox are occupied with their respective obsessions and they keep piling extra work onto Velvette (like her having to go to meetings and stuff)

I guess normally Vox at least does his job well but that’s on hold at the moment so he can stalk Alastor (lol)

So one day she has absolutely enough and decides to do the one thing she knows will piss both of them off simultanously: She checks into the Hazbin Hotel

I imagine she would arrive and be like: “ok somebody carry my bags, what kind of shithole is this? Where’s the pool?” etc… (so not taking it seriously at all)

(I drew some sketches to illustrate my ~vision~ XD)

But Charlie of course would not be able to turn her away even though literally every one else is against it.

Velvette the proceeds to post selfies with the hotel and Charlie just to annoy Val and Vox. (Who are already scrambling trying to keep up with the work she usually does. I imagine Vox would desperately try to do some damage control, because it would be very bad for their image if one of them is seen at the hotel)

At the Hotel, I think it would be cute for them to do some kind of teambuilding exercise like a talent show in teams. Charlie teams up with Velvette since she’s new. Immediately Velvette critizises Charlies Outfit (poor girl) and proceeds to design and make a really gorgeous outfit for her (maybe a pretty dress?)

Charlie, being her bubbly self is of course ecstatic and compliments her skills a lot, which Velvette appreciates. (Also Vaggie dies when she sees her girlfriend in the new fit)

Meanwhile the other Vs are begging Velvette to come back but she is not done teaching them a lesson quite yet (she also surprisingly kind of likes to be at the Hotel) so she insists that at least one of them should come pick her up personally.

Vox looses in rock-paper-scissors so he has to go. 

I think it would be really funny if he and Alastor met and they are soo close to another argument, but before it comes to that Velvette shoots Vox an annoyed look (since the whole debacle only started because of this fixation). Deciding that getting Velvette back is a priority right now Vox kind of ignores Alastor (while fuming on the inside). That ironically hurts Alastors ego way more than anything Vox could have said to him XD. 

Anyways the two Vs go home and make up.

[seramilla]

Velvette is totally obsessed with her girlfriends. She is constantly touching one of them and is usually seated on one of their laps as they watch tv or do work, Clara and Kiki find it cute adorable how clingy the fashionista is and they always indulge in Velvette’s clinginess.

Velvette feels like sometimes Vox and Valentino refuse to solve their own problems, exclusively to piss her off and make her life harder. Whether Val is killing one of her models again before a big shoot, or Vox is destroying her sets in one of his misdirected rage-kink explosions at Alastor, it's always up to Velvette to pick up the pieces. By the time she is done at the tower for the day, she cannot get over to Carmilla's fast enough.

Kiki is modeling some outfits for Clara when she gets there, and while she'd like to compliment the succubus on whatever Verosika had picked out for her to wear at their next video shoot, Velvette is too exhausted. She falls straight into Clara's arms on the sofa; not saying a word, just burying her face into Clara's chest, silently fuming and taking in the scent of her partner's skin. Kiki seems to sense the fasionista's uneasiness - to her credit, Velvette is never usually this quiet.

"Awww, poor baby," Kiki coos, walking her fingers up Velvette's exposed back, to make her shiver. Normally the taunt might have been enough to raise Velvette's hackles, but she's too fucking tired, and Clara smells too fucking nice. She's getting used to the succubus' teasing at her expense. It makes her whine. She hopes they can't hear it.

"Is kitten tired?" Kiki asks.

"I think she is," Clara confirms, and Velvette's just hmmmphhhs into her chest.

"Cutie sure is starting to get spoiled by you," Kiki says, looking over at Clara. Clara just kisses the top of Velvette's head. She then pulls Kiki over on top of Velvette, until Velvette is sandwiched by the two taller women, exactly how she likes it best.

[burning-fcols]

Vox is clearly obsessed. Has been obsessed with Angel ever since their accidental night together. Why do people think he's put extra cameras in the spider's dressing room? He hasn't taken his eyes off the screens feeding the display back to him as Angel gets himself ready. Fuck it. Valentino could hold out a little bit longer, if anything he'll come up with an excuse for it. Angel's room even has a communicator, hidden well from a certain moth. Just for contact between them. His voice crackles to life over it, strained with need.  "Angel? Can I borrow some of your time? You won't get caught, trust me~ " ( :'3 ) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇᴍᴜꜱᴇꜱ 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Drawing the attention of intense individuals is a-given for Angel, fate seeming to have a personal vendetta against him. Even before Hell, he often felt the gaze of creeps watching his movements. Subtle in their lechery, for fear of drawing harm upon themselves. No concern given to the mafioso's well-being should he be blamed for earning such thoughts, even when he wasn't TRYING to. In Hell? Subtlety is unneeded and restraint even less-so. Something Angel had learned quickly.

Despite his luck, Angel had still HOPED— however stupidly —Vox wouldn't fall into the same pitfalls after experiencing what he has to offer. That pride might be enough to keep those urges shoved down where they can't risk tainting his carefully-cultivated persona. Or the tenuous position of power Vox put himself in; especially when walking the delicate line that is being on Valentino's good side. But all it took was one night, one accidental fucking night, and Angel could already feel the shift in the air. Everyone else oblivious to the change, as they SHOULD be.

But Angel vividly aware of the way cameras seemed to... shift whenever he passed them. Trailing him wherever he went, focused on every action, every scene both on and off-stage... Existing in the studio becoming just as much a performance as when he's being filmed, Angel shedding his habit of letting himself SOMEWHAT breathe when not under Valentino's watchful eye. Sure, he had always knew Vox could see him— witnessed those moments of humanity, even when he would breakdown in his dressing room —but it never felt like it mattered until now.

It never felt like Vox was genuinely paying attention.

Keeping his composure— sparingly giving glances to the cameras before he caught himself —Angel has to admit he may have been working with the change in dynamic. If only because there's hardly a CHOICE. Better to grab what semblance of control he could, act as if he's a part of the game rather than an unwilling pawn. Noting the additional cameras in his dressing room ( one doesn't spend as much time in the room as HE has without intimately knowing the old from new ) he may have been subtilely showing-off. Acting as if in the midst of work, body positioned to allow Vox the best angles. Every curve, every slow teasing slip of his new outfit onto his form— Val having picked out something special for him to wear —the way Angel's glossy lips slightly part as he applies his eyeshadow in the mirror.

Although, this is nothing compared to what happened a few days prior. When Angel looked RIGHT at Vox a camera while being taken by Valentino in his dressing room, sultry gaze secretly letting Vox know he was aware the other was watching... Frankly, Angel commends the Overlord for holding out this long.

Startling at the sudden disruption, Angel sets down his makeup brush to disguise the slight tremor in his hands. Sucking in a discreet breath, he silently exhales... before looking up at a camera he knows is looming overhead. Showtime. Repressed need is unmistakable in Vox's tone, the others strained state oddly comforting. He's already on-edge. So long as Angel keeps his unease under control, he should keep the upper-hand despite being the powerless one in the room. With a sly smile, he responds to Vox's question... knowing it's an order.

❝ I was wonderin' when you'd make anotha' move... You got more self-restraint than most people do, Mista' Vox.~ ❞ He teases, name somehow sounding like a sin when passing his lips. He plays up his brattiness with a flip of his bangs and a lowering of his hot-pink lids, ❝ Sure hope you don' show any once I'm there. ❞ Mentally-preparing himself for a no-doubt pent-up Vox, he makes his way to the doors of his dressing room, hips purposely swaying with each step. Sparing a glance over his shoulder, he purrs through a smirk, ❝ I'll see ya soon, Daddy~ ❞

❛ Trust me. ❜ Angel doesn't trust Vox as far as he can throw him, but he fervently PRAYS to be proven wrong. If he's not... then Angel is fucked in more ways than one. 「 ☆ 」

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

anyways youre not here to hear me rant abt that same sa scene issue over n over so heres some summarized takes on the main designs

charlie:6/10, shes completely inoffensive, just v boring, her pilot design had worse hair but w slightly more interesting outfit, her final one has better hair in exchange of a worse outfit, nothing in it tells us anything, shes yet another victim of "the protagonist has a v plain design w nothing going on"

vaggie:7/10, her pilot design stands out a lot more but i believe her final one is supposed to make her blend in more w all the others, but generally shes fine, i like the X eye!

alastor:5/10, i just.dont like it? i think his hair is great but the tuxedo is boring, the horns r comically invisible n it generally just looks.way too boring for a character youre supposed to think is a threat, the wiki has this eyestrain red version of it from an early reel i think works way better, the shape language is subtly more present in making him stand out n the reds used scream "threat" way more.also voudou being used as a creepy aesthetic is just shitty

angel:3/10, i recognize these more shape heavy designs arent for me but arent inherently flawed buuut his final design looks boring, the white gloves make it look like he just lacks gloves on one set of arms, also he had another set removed which makes the fact he doesnt at ALL look like a spider even worse, n back w the plain suits that have no personality (looking at his betas seem he was originally more mafia themed w a stereotypical mafia hat, which in that version justifies it but in the final.no thats just a boring suit again)

husk:7/10, i thank the gods they recognized his pilot design was a mess of patterns w no purpose n tried to tone it down but.they still just dont have to be there? the wings no longer have the card symbols, n the dots just.look bad.hed look completely fine w plain wings.n no ear patterns.otherwise honestly hes kinda cute, the eyebrows r fun n the suspenders look quite cute n r a typical attire associated w old timey bartenders as far as ik

niffty:8/10, her head n face r the best in the series, v cute! outfit wise her final one is way too plain, n her pilot one doesnt fit the role, but the cutesy head is winning her 8 points anyways

lucifer:9/10, the outfit works imo! the tuxedo has personality n the hat thing w the snake n the apple is v cool.im not big on sad boy lucifer takes but design wise, also one of the only designs i think understands how to feature red as a general color without it taking the spotlight, will explain at the end

adam:0/10 i HATE his original outfit, it just looks tacky n the shapes arent rly working, the later black one gets 3-4 points bc the colors work better n the spikes r cool, unmasked.thats just some white dude.what do you want me to say.

lute:10/10 i love a bad bitch w a bob.also im a huge sucker for the exorcist edgy masks

cherri:9/10, i think she looks cool but i can tell she made animators sob at the amount of detail her final design ended up w.so second score for specifically animating of 3/10

valentino:4/10, the stripes r obnoxious, apparently in an old design he had two feathers on the hat to resemble the antennas of an actual moth but one got removed? whats w bug demons n barely looking like bugs in this?

velvette:9/10, thats a cute girl! yup shes a cute girl.thats all.

snake guy idk his name:4/10, design hurts the eyes, color contrast is a little much, suit.again.

vox:7/10 hes like the snake dude but the colors actually work, might be shocking but hes wearing a suit.

general conclusions ive had r the designs DO have an "too much red" issue bc the same similar shades r constantly present, n red is the main color far too often, i think wanting it to be present in general is fine but it should be a secondary color rather than the main one

viv also has an obsession w suits n top hats, which i genuinely understand wanting your favorite clothing items to be present often in your designs, but its.just way too much, theres too many suits that add no personality to the design whatsoever, n trying to put stripes on them doesnt fix that

n.listen im VERY numb to characters all being skinny, but its.SO noticeable when you have this shape heavy style.theres an old image on the wiki of what seems to be silhouette tests n the same stick thin body shapes r just so obvious.if youre gonna have a style this based on exaggerated anatomy you cant just feature the same one body over n over

n when thats all mixed together.yeah the designs mesh a lot.same colors same body type n often the same kind of outfit, but theyre not these disastrous offenses to designing like ppl say they r, its a 6.5/10 for me doc

btw i needed smth to pass time yesterday so i went over the hazbin designs w a friend n the conclusion was a lot r not that good but at the same time some ppl rly blow over proportion how bad they actually r, which does feel like "all the designs r bad" is just another "its too red" aka just an easy to latch on reason to hate the show to hate smth popular instead of understanding the actual reasons why the show started being hated.like rly when the creator hired an open fetishist to work on a SA scene n then made up the artist was a victim so ppl would feel bad for criticizing them both (despite the artist literally saying themselves they werent) i think we got bigger issues than "why is hell so red"

[jebblyphishes]

Hey! I loved the addition of "hell kittens" in one of your recent works! could you do a cute little thing where val has a gf whos obsessed with the kittens? or just cats in general?? like seeing a cat down the street and going up to it and hugging it!! maybe she has a few cats of her own too!!

Hell Cats are a little bigger than regular earth cats, they have fangs that stick out, little wings that don't work because Satan said "Not Today!"

They're fluffy, and they have fluffy tails similar to imps. They're also bigger bastards than regular cats and will knock your shit off everything.

Valentino was partway through counting the money he had collected from one of the smaller clubs, one of his four arms around his girlfriend's waist. The limo stopped at a light and all of a sudden he felt her tense, "What's wrong, baby?" He looked up from the money and noticed she was starting out of the window, he follower her gaze and before he could grab her, his S/O scrambled over him and out of the door.

He winced as he heard another car screech to a halt as she ran across the road and then cursed under his breath when he saw her pick up a hell cat. She was obsessed.

Cat earrings, cat patterned blankets, sexy cat maid outfits for his eyes only - her three bastard fluffballs that tore up his stuff if they escaped the playroom he built for her to keep them in. Mostly so he didn't upset her by shooting them.

He was ready to call her back when he heard her squeal. Valentino pulled a gun out of his coat and excited the car, looking all over for the idiot that might be trying to attack his girl.

Instead, a he got closer, he realised she had found hell kittens and was scooping them up into her arms, "Val! Can we keep them?! Please! Pleaaase!"

"...No."

Her bottom lip quivered and she hugged the mewing babies closer, "But... But Vaaaal!"

"No."

"Vox would let me!" And just like that he was sat in his limo, kittens in his fluffy collar and a content girlfriend.

[jetsetlife138]

Imaginary - Chapter 8

Rating: Mature for this chapter, but Explicit in future chapters

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Summary: A mysterious device throws you into the animated world of Hazbin Hotel. Once an average human living in a three-dimensional world, you’re now transformed into a two-dimensional human that has been cast into Hell. Pentagram City’s residents are curious and most harbor ill-will towards you. Charlie and the staff of the Happy Hotel take you in and offer you protection while they try and figure out how to return you to your world. That is… until you come across a certain Radio Demon with different intentions. Chapter Warnings: Abuse, Kidnapping Attempt, Non-Consensual Touching Previous Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

The walk to Valentino’s office… or… headquarters… or lair… or whatever you wanted to call it was uncomfortable at best. Angel guided you through the streets of Pentagram City, making sure to deviate from the main roads by taking back alleys and seedy shortcuts to ensure that you remained unnoticed by Hell’s residents. You were afraid to ask how he knew about the obscure alternate routes, but considering his profession, which you had learned was an adult film star who alternated as a hooker, you supposed that he would be well-versed in that sort of thing. 

“Listen, toots. If anyone asks, I didn’t set this up. Got it?” the spider demon urged, hustling down the alley.

“Why would that matter?”

“Because!” he snapped, slowing down so that you could keep up with his long legs. “I don’t wanna be the one who catches shit when the little princess realizes you snuck out right from under her nose. And I especially don’t wanna take the blame when Smiles discovers you’re gone.”

“What difference does it make if Alastor finds out?” you asked, perplexed. “I mean, I can understand Charlie. She’s giving you free housing, and you’re already on thin ice with Vaggie, but Alastor doesn’t have anything to do with you being there.”

He cackled maliciously. “Babe, you really are too much. Whether you wanna admit it or not, Smiles is obsessed with you. If he finds out that I took you to Big Vee, someone he’s not too fond of, I might add, he’ll probably eat me - and not in the way I’d like him to,” he added, grinning salaciously.

Much to your horror, you then began approaching a building with the words Porn Studios plastered on the front in bright red letters.

“Val… works in the porn industry?” you inquired, a hint of contempt in your voice.

“It’s a thriving business, baby. If you were looking for a ‘respectable’ establishment, you ain’t gonna find one a those in Hell. Get used to it.”

The more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Valentino ran Hell’s gritty underbelly, and if he was in charge of the porn and prostitution industries, surely he was in a place of power.

When you reached the empty lobby inside, Angel motioned for you to sit in one of the chairs. “I’ll go an’ let him know you’re here. Sit tight.”

The moment he disappeared through one of the doors, a slight sense of dread fell over you, causing you to stir uncomfortably in your seat. Wringing your hands nervously, your thoughts began to wander. Did you just make a huge mistake? Should you have put your trust in Angel? Why didn’t anyone else mention Valentino as a trusted source before? 

It was too much. You shouldn’t have gone there. A feeling in your gut was telling you to run and avoid this place at all costs.

Just as you had gotten up to leave, Angel came back through the doors. “He’s ready for you, toots. Come on back.”

“Angel… I--” you started to protest before he cut you off.

“You wanted answers, didn’t chya? He’s not known for his patience, babe. Come on, let’s go.”

Against your better judgement, you followed him back, swallowing thickly and trying to keep your nerves steady.

As you approached a large wooden door, Angel knocked twice before holding the door open for you. Hesitantly, you walked past him into a large office with tacky decor. Risque pictures lined the dark purple walls and a giant furry pink couch sat in the corner. Beneath your feet was a zebra-skin rug, which you were sure had been an inhabitant of Hell at one point.

At the very end of the room was a large and intimidating desk with a tall chair behind it that was faced away from you. Once you were just a few feet away, the chair swiveled, revealing a red-eyed demon adorned with a fancy flush coat and heart-shaped glasses. His outfit made him seem much less sinister than you were sure he probably was.

“Well, what do we have here?” he hissed, cracking a fanged smile. “Angie, when you told me that you were bringing me a living human, you didn’t say that she’d be so… delicious.”

Angel chuckled awkwardly, brushing past you to stand closer to Valentino.

“Don’t be shy, sugar. Come a little closer to Daddy and let me get a good look at you.”

Struggling to hide your grimace, you took a few more steps forward. Feeling his eyes scanning your form, you crossed your arms defensively, as if trying to physically hold yourself together.

The demon hummed thoughtfully before he stood up from his chair, gliding smoothly around his desk before he stopped directly in front of you.

Holy shit. He was tall. Even taller than Angel.

Pursing his lips, he circled you, inspecting you like a vulture honing in on its prey. Eventually, he stopped in front of you before demanding, “Sit still for me, sugar.”

He then placed a large hand over your chest, not in a sexual way, but as if he was trying to feel your heartbeat. Closing his eyes for a moment, you felt a strange tingling sensation where his hand was only briefly before he pulled it away with a smile plastered on his face.

Stepping away from you, he leaned back on his desk in a casual position before addressing you. “So, my little worker bee here tells me that you’re looking for some insight. That right?”

Unable to speak, you nodded your head.

“Walk me through what happened. Give Daddy all the intricate little details, baby. Don’t leave anything out.”

You wrinkled your nose as his use of the word daddy. It was incredibly off putting and didn’t at all appeal to you, but you went along with it anyway.

Clearing your throat, you started to speak, your voice shaking. “W-well… I-I was out shopping with my friends, and I saw a television that was a few decades old… probably from the seventies, at least. The remote control was next to the t.v. I picked it up, turned it on, and suddenly I was thrust into this place. That’s all I can remember.”

“Hmm,” he hummed aloud, tapping his index finger on his chin. “How very peculiar.”

“Whadya thinkin’, Val?” Angel Dust pressed, just as intrigued.

“Angie, baby… why don’t you run and get Vox. I’m sure he’d be interested to hear this little human’s story.”

“Y-you sure, boss?” Angel asked, hesitating.

Valentino narrowed his eyes at the spider. “Are you really going to waste my time with stupid questions?”

“But… you said this would be discreet-”

SLAP

You winced as Valentino backhanded Angel Dust, causing the spider to stumble back, holding his now tender cheek with a shocked expression on his face.

“Remember your place and do as you’re fucking told,” the demon snarled, baring his teeth at his inferior. “Now.”

Frowning, Angel Dust gave you a subtly apologetic glance before sauntering out of the room, leaving you alone with the pimp.

Even though you were genuinely upset at how Valentino treated Angel, you couldn’t bring yourself to act on your anger. When you had lost your cool with Lucifer, it was different because you were surrounded by Charlie and Alastor and you had the luxury of voicing your outrage, as foolish as it may have been. In your current predicament, however, you were utterly alone and at the mercy of Valentino. Clearly, you were out of your league. 

“Um,” you stammered, practically trembling where you stood and wanting to ease the quiet tension. “Wh-who is Vox?”

“He’s an associate of mine,” the demon purred. “Something tells me that he’ll be able to enlighten us to your little predicament.”

“Really?” you pressed, partially intrigued, partially terrified. “Why do you say that?”

Before he could respond, another voice could be heard approaching. “Seriously, Val? You’re gonna send your whore to fetch me like I’m some kind of bitch who’s at your beck and call? You can’t just-- oh.”

The new demon froze as he entered the room and laid eyes on you. The sight of him was just as alarming to you as you had been to him. Rather than a zoomorphic creature, it was like he was a cross between a human and a television set. He was about as tall as Alastor, sporting a striped tuxedo with a black and red striped shirt underneath. His red bowtie prominently stood out in comparison to grey undershirt.

On top of his flat-screen t.v. head, he had a black top hat with sound waves etched into it. His eyes were red with one of them containing black rings around the pupil. His entire appearance was unsettling to say the least. 

“And who do we have here?” Vox asked, his tone immediately changing from irritated to seductive.

You hadn’t realized that Valentino had moved next to you while you were distracted by Vox’s entrance. He entangled one of his fingers into a strand of your hair, twirling it around his lengthy digit, causing you to flinch. “This is the human that we’ve been hearing about all over the Seven Rings,” Val whispered close to your ear. “She has quite an interesting story. Why don’t you be a doll and tell my associate here what happened to you, sugar?”

Inhaling a shaky breath, you repeated your story about the television set. As you spoke, Vox’s eyes widened in shock as he exchanged glances with Valentino who had a menacing smirk on his face. As you finished your story, Vox had a similar expression to Val as he eyed you hungrily.

“Excuse us for a moment, won’t you, baby? Daddy’s gotta have a little chat,” Val snickered as he pulled Vox aside and stepped into the room adjacent to the one you were in.

You briefly wondered what had happened to Angel Dust until their whispers brought your attention back to them. Unable to stop yourself, you stepped closer to the doorway, listening in on their conversation. It was difficult to make out anything that they were saying, but you caught certain things here and there.

“...didn’t think that it would actually work! By the time I heard that there was a human…”

“...exactly what we wanted. What’s even better is that she came to us…” 

“...not going to go quietly. Her little friends at that rancid hotel…” 

“...just do it. We’ve waited too long for this…”

From what you had heard, you weren’t at all liking where this was going. Everything inside of you was telling you to run.

Just as you were looking for an escape, the demons came back into the room with venomous grins on their faces. “Going somewhere?” Vox asked, interpreting your actions.

“I-I need to get back. The others will be looking for me soon, and I--”

“Now, now,” Valentino cooed as he towered over you, running a finger down your arm. “You just got here. It would be rude to leave so soon.”

All of the courage that you had gathered over your time in hell had immediately dissipated. There was no way that you could overpower two demons. It was clear that you were at their mercy. “Please…” you begged, still looking for an exit. “I was just looking for a way home. I didn’t mean--”

“Don’t worry, fleshling,” Vox soothed with false sweetness as he also caressed your face, giving you unwanted chills. “We’re going to get you home. But first… we’re going to have a little fun with you.”

“W-what do you mean by fun ?” you asked, not really wanting to hear the answer, but trying to buy time until you could come up with a crafty escape.

“Oh, don’t you worry, sugar. We’re going to take good care of you,” the moth demon purred as he continued to fondle your clothes. “You’re ours now.”

“You know, I do really hate those who can’t show a little more respect to those of fairer means,” a familiar voice interrupted.

Relief washed over you like a tidal wave. Never did you think that you would be so relieved to hear that eerie static-filled voice.

Valentino and Vox immediately went rigid, but kept their hands where they were on your body. “It’s rather distasteful,” the Radio Demon continued, emerging from the shadows. His eyes were radiating a crimson glow and his smile was even more malevolent than you had seen it in the past. “Like bad meat.”

The tension in the room was palpable as Alastor’s antlers seemed to lengthen in height and width. The dark circles under his eyes appeared once more and his pupils turned to dials as his teeth elongated to emphasize his already terrifying grin. “If you would, kindly remove your hands from her.”

“No one asked you to intervene, Bullwinkle,” Vox snapped, tightening his grip on your arm.

“What?” Valentino asked, suddenly distracting and quirking a brow at his cohort. “Bullwinkle is a fucking moose.”

“So what? They both have antlers,” Vox countered, shrugging. “Who fucking cares?”

“I’m sorry to interrupt what I’m sure would be a fascinating lover’s quarrel,” Alastor teased, earning a growl from the other demons, “But I really must be on my way.”

“No one’s stopping you!” Vox pointed out, baring his electric blue teeth. “But you’re not taking the fleshling with you.”

“If you refuse to relinquish the human to me, I’m afraid I’ll have to take a more aggressive approach. I’m sure no one wants that,” Alastor remarked, tilting his head mockingly, his frightening appearance still in place.

“You really want to threaten us?” Valentino questioned with a chuckle, his eyes flashing from behind his heart-shaped glasses. “We’ll annihilate you.”

“Oh, ho, ho,” Alastor laughed, straightening his monocle. “As much as I would enjoy proving you wrong, I’m afraid you’re confused. You see, I’m here to ensure that the human remains safe before she is claimed by Lucifer. He has very specific plans for her, and, as I’m sure you can imagine, he won’t be thrilled if he finds out his prized possession is being held hostage in this… fine establishment,” he sneered at the last part of his statement.

The two demons exchanged worried glances with one another, hesitating before speaking. “Lucifer wants her?” Vox pressed, eyes darting between you and his partner-in-crime.

“That’s correct,” Alastor replied, not bothering to mask the smug undertone. “I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell the King of Hell that his shiny new toy is being soiled by two clueless brutes. Would you?”

“Fuck,” Valentino grumbled before gripping your shoulders and thrusting you back into Alastor, where you landed harshly aganst his chest. His arms immediately wrapped around you, his clawed fingers digging into your shoulders posessively. 

Vox glared at Val with disbelief as he stammered, “You’re just handing her over?! She’s the key--”

“Shut the fuck up, Vox,” Valentino snarled, narrowing his eyes and giving him a subtle, unspoken warning. “It’s not the last we’ll see of her.”

Fuming, Vox remained silent as his eyes flashed at Alastor. Valentino then bent down, his eyes boring into yours as he whispered, “We’ll see you soon, sugar.” Sitting up, his lip curled as he addressed Alastor once more.  “Now get out.”

With a flick of one of his ears and no other words exchanged, Alastor relinquished his hold on you and escorted you out, moving so quickly that you had to practically run in order to keep up with him. 

“Alastor,” you addressed him breathlessly, “Just… wait a minute--”

“Not here, darling,” he urged, still moving with urgent haste.

After nearly fifteen minutes of power walking, you had reached the hotel. The moment the door shut behind you in the lobby, you glared at the Radio Demon while struggling to catch your breath. After a few moments of tension, you asked, “Is that really what you think of me? A ‘shiny new toy’ for Lucifer’s entertainment?”

Alastor, who had returned to his far less threatening appearance, simply smirked while twirling his hand and summoning his microphone before leaning on it casually. “No, sweetheart. That’s not all I really think of you.”

“What the fuck, Alastor,” you blurted out, unable to stop yourself. “You’re a god damned enigma! Is this how you get your rocks off? You tormented me when I first got here by making not-so-subtle threats and touching me constantly like a weirdo. Then you suddenly became nice and supportive, and after Lucifer, it  seemed like you were actually going to help me, only to then make it seem like you’re just biding time until you can hand me over to him! What’s your game?! Is this how you drive your prey crazy before you slaughter them? Why are you such a creepy bastard?! What did I ever do to you to deserve these mind games?!”

Yikes. You didn’t mean to let all of that spill out at once, but you couldn’t help yourself. Once you started, you couldn’t stop. What’s worse was that during your rant, Alastor just gawked at you, seemingly unfazed. If anything, he was entertained, which only made you more upset.

After a few seconds of silence and him just staring at you with an amused expression, you emphasized, “Well?! Answer me!”

He then sat up straight, making his microphone disappear into a cloud of smoke before approaching you. Just as you were about to snap at him again, his long arm circled around your waist, pulling you close while cupping your face with his hand, running his thumb along your cheek. Before you could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on yours, moving against you in a deep and sensual kiss, making you forget the world around you.

Tags: @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @edgy-drama-queen @chasingfireflies1999 @galaxy-meteor @cecidit-31 @shadowclawstudio88 @utterly-disappointing @opheliuva @trinswhimsys @skylarhedges @whogavebrynjolfpermissiontobehot @sailor-earth-1

[purplecatghostposts]

Jumbled AU Character Information Time!

What’s the Jumbled AU? Another Roleswap except it’s less swap between two characters and more... Jumbled! Created for fun of course!

I ended up tweaking it all up a bit and I’m pretty happy with it now!

Meet The Crew:

FORZEN-

“No, I’m right there with you. Black Mesa is the worst.”

- Takes Gordon’s role as Team Leader

- Graduated from MIT and was recently hired by Black Mesa. He’s been there less than a year and he’s already regretting it.

- Gets stuck in a HEV Suit and would very much like out of it, thank you very much.

- Originally wanted time be a streamer but his mother talked him into going into Science like everyone else in the family did. Forzen and his family have a rocky relationship and this is one of the reasons why.

- Hates his job and is miserable but he does it anyways because he’s good at it and it makes him money.

- A lot smarter than he looks or acts.

- Very protective over his team and is quite the shot. Prides himself a little on his good aim.

- Carries around a ‘Lucky Bayblade’ wherever he goes. Insists it’s kept him safe as a kid and as long as he has it, he will make it through alright.

- Is a single father as his partner left as soon as the kid was born. Forzen is determined to be a good father because of this. His kid’s full name is Scythe Kronos (Yes, that’s all their first name) but Forzen also calls them Scye for short. Forzen will do anything to make it back to his kid. He doesn’t want them to end up orphaned.

- Loses his right eye in the betrayal. Without his depth perception, his aim is worse than ever and he struggles to protect his team.

- Gets a robotic eye from the Cybernetics Department later that gives him better aim than before.

TOMMY-

“Get- get out of my way or I’ll make you.”

- Takes the place of Benrey as inhuman antagonist.

- Is a Shapeshifting alien who takes the shape of a human to blend in for his mission. Has a lot of power but never got to properly learn how to use it as he was separated from his father when he was young.

- Sunkist is his alien pet who takes the shape of a golden retriever to do the same. She fights alongside him.

- Initially takes on Earthly Interests such as Beyblades, soda, and certain TV shows as a way to blend in but actually starts to like them.

- Takes on a job at Black Mesa as a security guard so that he can search for his dad. Doesn’t actually find him until the Resonance Cascade.

- Tampers with the experiment and causes the Resonance Cascade in order to lower Black Mesa’s defenses so he and his dad can make their escape.

- Makes a deal with the military that if he sells Forzen out, they’ll leave everyone else alone. However, the military double crosses Tommy once they realize that his dad is a valuable experiment to Black Mesa. Tommy is not happy about this.

- Eventually comes to the conclusion that his dad will never be safe as long as Black Mesa is around. Goes to Xen with the others, keeps his cover the entire time, and once they reach Xen’s power source, Tommy takes it for himself and tries to destroy Black Mesa and everyone in it.

- It’s all for family. Step aside or you’ll just get hurt.

GORDON-

“There’s absolutely no way that’s up to code... You guys seeing this?”

- Takes the place of Tommy as Main Support.

- Has worked for Black Mesa for a while now but isn’t entirely fond of it. He’s aware it’s morally gray at best (And that’s sugar coating it) but he can’t quit because he’s bound by contract to stay there for a certain amount of years. At least it pays well, right?

- Lost his arm in a lab accident a few years ago. Luckily, cybernetics fitted him with a robotic prosthetic. The one who made him the arm also outfitted him with a gun-arm he can put on. Gordon didn’t understand why he would need it but after the Resonance Cascade happened, he’s glad he has it.

- One hell of a shot, especially when he’s freaking out a bit (“Gordon going ham!” @ himself).

- Has been a bit obsessed with safety regulations since he lost his arm (But honestly who wouldn’t be?) and is constantly baffled by Black Mesa’s OSHA Violations.

- Has a son back home, Joshua, who he would very much like to make it back to. Forzen and Gordon swap telling stories about their kids sometimes.

- Helps Forzen out after he’s lost his eye and tells him that he can get help from Cybernetics given Gordon knows a guy from the department.

- Is pretty good friends with Tommy and while he does try to stop him from destroying Black Mesa- he hates the place too but there’s a lot of scientists there who are bound by contract just like he is- Tommy spares him from his attacks.

- Seems to be fairly good friends with the mysterious being who keeps popping up, Bubby. Apparently Gordon has helped hide him away more than a few times when he gets stuck so he owes him.

DARNOLD-

“Uh oh... That might be one of my evil clones...”

- Takes the role of Dr. Coomer as the enhanced scientist with clones.

- Has biological enhancements such as built in rocket boots and extendo arms but they were all given to him when Darnold tested his own potions. He mostly uses these to get the group out of trouble.

- In the same situation as Gordon when it comes to being bound by contract. Neither are very thrilled about it but at least Darnold has been in Black Mesa long enough that he can influence change.

- Head of the Mixology Department but took interest in Xen for a while and oversaw the experiment that caused the Resonance Cascade.

- Signed onto the cloning experiment and now has a lot of clones that help around Black Mesa. Darnold is pretty friendly with them and tries to help some escape when the Resonance Cascade. Unfortunately a lot of them die, which gets to Darnold.

- A few clones drank his Evil Powerade and went rogue a while ago. Fortunately, they’re version of ‘Evil’ is essentially a cartoon mad scientist/supervillain. Unfortunately, they’re still a bit of a nuisance and the gang has to look out for tripwire traps and a few of their minions.

- Carries around a lot of potions to help. Has a strength potion that is particularly helpful in a pinch. Also has a special Forbidden Potion that he uses in the final battle.

- One of the few people that treated G-Man like a person rather than an experiment and thus, has his favor.

- Introduces Tommy to Earthly things and customs. Doesn’t piece it together that he’s an alien until later.

- Tried to help in the betrayal but Tommy held him back, saying it was for the best. Runs as soon as he realizes he’s in danger and hides away from the rest of the team. Actively avoids Forzen and Gordon for a while out of stress but eventually has to step in when one of his Evil Clones captures them.

G-MAN-

“Oh believe me, I am just as... Eager to get out of Black Mesa as the rest of you.”

- Takes the role of Bubby as Black Mesa’s favorite experiment

- If Bubby is like Shadow the Hedgehog, then G-Man is like Mewtwo.

- Is an alien that has been alive much longer than Black Mesa itself. A powerful one at that.

- Black Mesa started hunting him down as soon as they learned of his existence. G-Man had just created Tommy not too long ago and was weak when they came. Managed to protect Tommy but was captured as a result and imprisioned in Black Mesa.

- Nicknamed Project Goodman as Black Mesa wished to one day use his powers for their own benefit. The nickname ‘G-Man’ came later and stuck.

- Has a lot of powers relating to the mind (I.E. Levitation, telekinesis, telepathy, etc.) but Black Mesa keeps power dampeners on him so he can’t escape, no matter how much he may try. G-Man and Tommy search for a way to get these off of him, but little do they know that Black Mesa has other ways of ensuring he can’t go rogue...

- Started acting polite and professional a while back and keeps up the facade as it keeps him out of trouble and gets him more freedom. He now works as a scientist to ‘Help’ Black Mesa but is just biding his time until he can make his escape.

- Absolutely despises being in his tube and tends to get aggressive when in small spaces because of this.

- Has very few scientists he actually likes. Darnold is on this short list as he is kind to him.

- Finally reunited with his son after so long and wants nothing more than to escape together.

- They were so close...

BENREY-

“Oh yo, what happened to your eye, dude? Psh, no worries, I got a cybernetic eye for ya that’s gonna look sick as fuck!”

- Takes the role of Darnold as the guy who has a solution to a certain missing body part.

- Is one of the best in the Cybernetics Department and was the one who made Gordon his arm and gun-arm when he lost it in the accident.

- Became weird friends with Gordon after he helped him out. Benrey may or may not send cryptic messages and cat photos at 4AM to Gordon, who is very concerned for his health.

- The Cybernetics Department was originally supposed to be laid off due to budget cuts and the Mixology Department was going to expand and take over the lab but Benrey refused to leave his lab like everyone else and hacked the doors so nobody could get in. They would’ve dealt with it but soon after, the Resonance Cascade happened and Black Mesa has bigger worries than a rogue cybernetics scientist so Benrey just kinda. Stayed. He’s the only remaining member of the Cybernetics Team.

- A good mechanic and a master hacker. He ends up hacking into the security cameras and the VOX to watch the team as they go. He speaks via the VOX- and never tells them who he is- but as soon as they reach his lab, Benrey greets them like old friends.

- While he does like to mess with the team a little, he’s pretty helpful for the most part. He opens up a few locked doors and gives a few heads up every once in a while.

- “ROCKET. LAUNCH. GOOD.” Yeah that was Benrey. Gordon actually hits himself once he realizes it’s Benrey because everything suddenly makes sense.

- Gives Forzen a cybernetic eye that actually gives him better aim than before. Said eye also “May or may not have other sick features.”

- Benrey refuses to elaborate on this.

COOMER-

“OH HO HO HO, BAD MOVE! TIME FOR ME TO GO IN FOR THE KILL!”

- Takes the role of Forzen as minor antagonist.

- Joined the military because of his Ex-Wife’s pressuring to do so. They’re both still in the military but they don’t talk anymore.

- Volunteered to test out a new serum that would genetically enhance him to be an one man army due to his love for Science. He didn’t expect for it to work like it did.

- The serum gave him superhuman abilities such as strength, high leaping power, endurance, regeneration, and other such. However, there was a side effect to the serum as it also gave him a bit of a bloodlust. “I crave violence” is very literal now.

- Very powerful but unfortunately a bit of a loose cannon. They only send him in if they’re getting desperate since he causes a lot of collateral damage.

- Can calm down and have regular conversations but it takes a lot of effort. The serum screwed with his head a lot.

- Is sent to take down the Science Team. 90% of the time, they have to run from him and shake him off their trail other than fight him as he’s a lot stronger than the rest of them.

- Kidnaps Gordon rather than Sunkist at one point and holds him hostage. The Science Team has to work together to take him back.

- Saved Bubby’s life once and now whenever Coomer gets into real danger, Bubby teleports him away. Bubby is one of the few people who can calm Coomer down for long periods of time and Coomer is very fond of Bubby.

BUBBY-

“Who I am is none of your goddamn business.”

- Takes the role of G-Man as a powerful being who keeps showing up.

- Originally was created by Black Mesa and worked for them but in an experiment gone horribly wrong, Bubby abruptly disappeared with no trace.

- The accident gave Bubby dimensional powers over Time and Space but unfortunately, Bubby struggles to figure them out and they’re rather unstable at first.

- Because of their instability, Bubby sometimes randomly will teleport and get stuck in places he doesn’t want to be in. This happens far too frequently in Black Mesa but luckily, Gordon knows him and starts hiding him from Black Mesa whenever he gets stuck.

- This also happened once when Bubby ended up in the middle of an active battlefield and nearly got killed had Coomer not saw him get teleported in and rescued him.

- Bubby has taken a certain fondness for both of them and watches over them from the shadows as his own way of saying ‘Thank You’.

- Black Mesa is vaguely aware that Bubby is still out there but he’s become a bit of a cryptid to them. There’s some security footage of him teleporting in but all security footage gets really staticy and stops working after he appears in it.

- Bubby absolutely despises Black Mesa.

- If he wants something changed, he will change it, by force if necessary.

- Starts watching the team closely after the Resonance Cascade. At first thinks that some of them are aligned with Black Mesa and actively tries to stop them until he figures out that they’ve all fallen victim to it as well and becomes somewhat of an ally.

Anddd that’s the team!

That took a LONG time to type out but hopefully it’s interesting! I’m having a lot of thoughts about this AU currently so if you’re curious at all, send me an ask and I can talk about it more!

[theconservativebrief]

There’s something about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

First, an Eddie Scarry tweet about how her clothing and bag “don’t look like a girl who struggles” got ratioed like few before it. Then a CNBC tweet meditating on the less than $7,000 in her savings account received similar backlash.

Media: AOC only has $7000 in her savings account.

Actual people under the age of 40: Wow, $7000?! I want $7000, how do I get $7000?

— Dan Olson (@FoldableHuman) November 20, 2018

The 29-year-old democratic socialist and former bartender has been elected to represent New York’s 14th Congressional District — and she is perhaps the highest-profile incoming member of the next Congress. As such, almost everything about her is constantly under scrutiny, from her Instagram habits to her policy positions.

The average member of Congress has something like five times the net worth of the typical American household, so instead of talking about how little Ocasio-Cortez has in her bank account, it might be a good time to talk about how much her peers in Congress have in theirs.

Ocasio-Cortez has made no secret that she’s a member of the working class and isn’t exactly dripping in money — that’s what she ran on.

“I think we need to be a party that is first and foremost accountable to working-class people again, and to marginalized people,” she told the Progressive in September. “I don’t want that to be something that we just talk about, but something that we are about. I want us to be that party again. I want us to be the party that wired, and electrified, literally, the nation. I want us to be the party that said it would go to the moon, and did. Because it’s not over. We did that. And now we have a lot more to do.”

After Ocasio-Cortez defeated Rep. Joe Crowley in the primary in June and won the general election in November, she said in an interview with the New York Times that she was worried about paying for an apartment in Washington, DC, before her $174,000 annual congressional salary kicks in.

Fox News subsequently pointed out that, according to public records, she had at least $15,000 in her savings, apparently making the case that the amount should be sufficient to foot the bill for a DC apartment, where the median rent is $2,700 per month.

This was the inspiration for the CNBC follow-up last week, which reported that, according to her communications director, Ocasio-Cortez now has less than $7,000 in savings. She made about $26,600 in 2018, and she’s paying off somewhere between $15,000 and $50,000 on her student loan debt.

The CNBC story then lays out how Ocasio-Cortez “stacks up to other millennials”: The median millennial has just $2,430 in savings. So in fact, Ocasio-Cortez is above the median compared to her generational peers.

The attention to the incoming Congress member’s money goes beyond her bank account — it’s on her wardrobe, too.

In September, conservative activist Charlie Kirk tweeted that an outfit Ocasio-Cortez wore in a photo shoot was expensive. She responded by pointing out that you don’t get to keep the clothes, and that she’s a good dresser.

When Scarry tweeted out a now-deleted picture taken of Ocasio-Cortez, she responded by saying that they can’t “help” but obsess about her because “women like me aren’t supposed to run for office — or win.”

The reason journos from @FoxNews to @dcexaminer can’t help but obsess about my clothes, rent, or mischaracterize respectful convos as “fights” is bc as I’ve said, women like me aren’t supposed to run for office – or win.

& that’s exactly why the BX and Queens sent me here. https://t.co/t7VBLuyZK3

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) November 16, 2018

On Tuesday, she weighed in again.

“The actual fear driving the attacks on my clothes, my checking account, my rent, isn’t that these folks are scared that I should represent people in Congress,” she tweeted. “It’s fear that they’ve allowed their riches, their privileges, + their bias to put them at a point where they can’t.”

The actual fear driving the attacks on my clothes, my checking account, my rent, isn’t that these folks are scared that I shouldn’t represent people in Congress.

It’s fear that they’ve allowed their riches, their privilege, + their bias to put them to a point where they can’t.

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) November 20, 2018

Vox’s Gaby Del Valle recently delved into what’s going on with conservatives’ obsession with Ocasio-Cortez’s clothes and money:

The message implied here is twofold: Not only is Ocasio-Cortez lying about her working-class background, but she’s living large while espousing democratic socialist policies. By painting Ocasio-Cortez as a hypocrite, Scarry and other critics are suggesting that when she talks about wealth redistribution, she’s really talking about enriching herself with other people’s money.

She added that the underlying message “is that if working people own anything beyond the bare minimum, then they’re not really struggling.”

Ocasio-Cortez is the exception to the rule when it comes to the typical congressional profile: She’s a young woman, she’s Latina, and she comes from a pretty average background.

That’s not the case for most members of Congress. And yet, it’s her lack of wealth that we’re focusing on instead of a much bigger problem in US politics: the fact that it’s often prohibitively expensive for people to run for office, and so wealthy Americans are more likely to hold the reins in government.

Tanzania Vega, host of WNYC’s The Takeaway, in a series of tweets on Monday laid out just how well-off the average member of Congress is. The median net worth of all members of Congress was $511,000 in 2018, five times the median net worth of an American household of $97,300 in 2016, according to the Federal Reserve. The cumulative wealth of all current members of Congress was at least $2.43 billion.

The median minimum net worth of all members of Congress was $511,000.

— Tanzina Vega (@tanzinavega) November 19, 2018

Until more members of Congress have the perspective of Ocasio-Cortez, it’s likely our policies will continue to reflect the interests of the wealthy.

Original Source -> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez isn’t rich. There’s no reason to talk about it.

via The Conservative Brief

[junker-town]

The colors of Super Bowl LI are polychromatic trash and fans hate them

An investigation into why on earth teal, red, black, and yellow ended up anywhere near each other.

HOUSTON— The NFL has a longstanding relationship with several things. Here they are, ranked from most to least important:

Press conferences

Teal

Money

“Teal?” You might be thinking, “As in the shade that falls somewhere on the color wheel between blue and green?”

Yes. Teal. The NFL must be, like, obsessed with teal, because what other explanation could there be for teal making its way into the color scheme of Super Bowl LI? There is no reason teal should be involved, given that the colors it accompanies are red, black, and some hints of neon yellow. All of the branding, the buildings, and the gear associated with this Super Bowl here in Houston boast this horrible motif that looks like it belongs on a 1990s starter jacket, or a more sinister version of a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper, or the Dolphin’s color rush uniforms.

Here, let me show you what I’m talking about. Check out this random pole outside the NFL Live fan experience downtown:

Charlotte Wilder with an iPhone and sense of disbelief

First of all, I don’t even know why that pole is there. I guess, technically, it’s more of a column, and I also guess that it’s probably home to broadcasting equipment, satellites, or a bunch of footballs stacked on top of each other in case we somehow run out over the course of a week.

Secondly, why is the pole so ugly? Answer: Because these colors have absolutely no business being anywhere near each other. Teal and black? Cool! Red and black? Dope! Black and yellow? Sure!

But teal, red, black, and yellow? Take a hike.

Granted, this is just my humble opinion. I’ve walked around all week cringing at the offending wall wrappings and restroom signs, but I wondered if perhaps I was being unnecessarily harsh. Maybe the NFL focus-grouped this strategy and most fans are all for it.

So, I headed to the NFL shop at the convention center that serves as Super Bowl home base to do some investigative reporting and ask some fans what they thought.

In order to get into the store, I had to wait in a line that felt longer than it should be for people who are trying to give the NFL their money. A woman was putting wristbands on fans as though the store were a concert, but instead of a concert, it’s just an even more cavernous space deeper in the belly of the convention center filled with incredibly ugly clothes, jackets, jerseys and hats.

Here is a particularly bad hat featuring red, black, teal, and mesh that I found:

I spotted a couple browsing through a rack of shirts that looked like something a little league coach from the 1980s might wear. I asked them what they thought of the color scheme.

“Ugh,” said the woman, whose name was Pat.

“It’s a little sketchy,” said the man, whose name was Matt.

I then stopped Stephanie, who was holding a sparkly shirt and was very much into the teal, but very much didn’t like the teal with the red. Here is Stephanie holding her sparkly shirt:

You can’t really see how sparkly the shirt is in that picture, but trust me. It was very sparkly.

I spotted one of the NFL store attendants whose name tag said Lovie on it. She was hanging up a fresh batch of teal shirts. I asked her what she thought about the colors.

“I like both of them,” she said. “But I don’t really like the teal with the red. Any other color would be better with either of them.”

Vinnie and Atoinette, whom I found by the sweatshirts, weren’t into the teal, either. They liked the red. And they liked the teal! But they didn’t like the red and the teal together.

Raoul, however, was my outlier. He was wearing a Dolphins jersey over a red sweatshirt, and when I asked him if he liked the red and teal theme, he said yes. I pointed out that his outfit incorporated the same colors, and he said, again, “yes.”

I headed over to the wall of hats, where Ellie and Earl, and older couple wearing Patriots jerseys, told me they didn’t like the color scheme. They thought it should be navy, red, and white.

“Those are the Patriots colors, though,” I said.

“Yes they are,” they said.

And then, I saw it. The best jacket in the world, a coat that made up for every horrible motif, every awful teal-and-red-and-black-and-yellow striped pole. The piece of outerwear that redeemed the NFL of every hideous branding mistake its made during Super Bowl LI.

Here it is, for a cool 250 bucks (please ignore the bags under my eyes):

If someone wants to buy this jacket for me, I would be very much down to accept it as a gift (you can google the Vox Media address in D.C. and send it there). I would also accept this chambray shirt with a beautiful patch of Texas on it:

But I digress. The point here, folks, is to tell you that, of the sampling of fans I accosted inside a convention center in Houston, most of them didn’t like the colors of the gear they were planning to buy. Further proof that the NFL doesn’t care about you, nor — and this is pure speculation on my part — do they understand the power of a good, old-fashioned focus group.