#…..ive said that like a bajillion times but guys i mean it

[cowboyweevil]

I love how you draw harvey so much I’m going to throw up and die I think

[jentlemahae]

i had a feeling they’d want to stay together tbh. the past year has had so many amazing career moments so disbanding is a silly choice as they’re still on an upward trajectory. you can’t disband the same year you headline coachella, that’s stupid

we want better organisation/planning, promotions, creative direction and music production so want them to sign elsewhere. ikon were able to leave yg still intact so bp could do the same but i thought it’d be more likely that they went to tbl. they love those guys and they’ve been spotted there a lot recently

if they do stay i want to give it time to see if there are any improvements before i make any judgements on it. praying that the pinks negotiate some changes in their contract terms

i mean i feel like ive said this a thousand times so i won’t repeat myself too much but i think leaving was in their best interests as individuals AND artists. yes bp still has a lot of potential, but i have my doubts that yg will be able to help them reach it. i hope and pray they made some good contracts negotiations and are actually forcing yg to put some real effort into them <3 ofc i am keeping an open mind and will see what happens in the future, but i still stand by my opinion 👍🏻

also im 99% sure bp couldn’t do what ikon did. i have obviously not see their contracts and documents regarding what went down, but i think ikon did what got7 did, which theoretically is that (in loose terms) they bought the rights to use the group name for music/merch/promo/etc from the company. the price of these rights is usually decided by the seller (with negotiations obvs), who looks at how much money the artist was making them in that moment and could make them in the future, and then creates a monetary value. ikon (sorry) was making yg pennies so allowing ikon to go and sell likely was in yg’s best financial interests, as keeping them was probably more expensive. bp is the only successful artist yg has and letting them go would likely bankrupt them, so if they were to make a price it would be like a bajillion won </3 the pinks are rich but idt they’re THAT rich

[a-merman-not-a-guppy]

Stressed Out | Carrotflakes

Finn gets anxious after Ariel asked about kissing boys and texts Nemo and Tae.

@justkeepdancing-nemo @moon-yeongtae

Finn: Hey guys? Finn: Do I look gay? Finn: waid iogjspdgjdsg Nemo: what? Nemo: no...? Nemo: to be honest i still dont really get what those terms mean...i mean i GET it but the way you humans talk about it Nemo: i dont think anyone looks gay or straight Nemo: tho ive been called gay like most of my life lol so /shrug Tae: why are u asking that Finn: because iddgijdpgd Finn: i dunno why Nemo: did someone say something? Finn: ariel asked me if i KISSED ANY BOYS AT THE WEDDING Finn: and i Finn: well i j ust Finn: WHAT Finn: do i look gay? does something Finn: is it my style? Finn: i mean not that kissing boys sounds bad? Finn: but idk that it sounds good either Finn: i don't Nemo: is that what being gay...sorry i really dont know what it means i mean peole say im gay because of ballet Nemo: i dont think its bad at all either way...

Tae [deleted]: did u say yes u kissed tae lmfao no I'm that's a bad joke Tae [deleted]: I dont Tae [deleted]: wow I straight up hate this Tae: how does ballet make you gay that's stupid Finn: people can be really mean =[ Nemo: but its not an insult Nemo: like peole always said it like an insult to me, but its not Nemo: i was never that bothered, i was just confused. because i do like boys anyway. and like now, i mean...i guess even if you DID look gay... Tae [deleted]: im so uncomfortable Nemo: if its because of your fashion, then i think gay is a compliment Finn: i just Nemo: i think you're really pretty finny Finn: thank you? Finn: i just feel really stressed out? which is stupid Finn: but it's like. i guess ariel kissed someone and so her instinct was to ask if i was...kissing anyone? Tae: yeah those waffles Nemo: lolol Finn: hahaha Nemo: a good ol waffle snog Finn: that sounds like the best kind Nemo: it kinda does im still jealous Tae: finn you shouldn't freak out its okay Finn: i don't know i feel really weird now like i should be kissing people and like i'm slow for not doing it or. and the whole boys thing idk. sorry. Tae: like it's ok if u dont know what u want or if u do know and u dont want kisses Nemo: its okay! i mean i only just started kissing myself if that makes you feel better and if robbie hadnt liked me id probably still not be kissing anyone Tae: kissing is kind of stupid in my experience u know so really I think ppl make it a huge deal Nemo: i think it just happens when it happens and yeah not everyone even likes kissing Tae: and its not Finn: it feels like a big deal that I'm out of the loop on and wasn't even thinking of joining the loop for Finn: thanks for dealing with me though. i couldn't really sleep last night Nemo: D: im sorry Nemo: i feel like my hyung would be really good to talk to about this Nemo: you know sindri, right? Finn: AH! octopus friend <3 Nemo: hahah yeah! he doesnt do a lot of kissing himself but also he's just, like, idk, really comforting? Nemo: i freaked out to him multiple times Finn: ahaha. I've freaked out to him before too on accident. Finn: he's really nice ;_; Tae: I dont know sindri Tae: :( Finn: you should meet him! Finn: he saved my life <3 Nemo: JINGLES i am so going to introduce you guys!!!! Nemo: wow for a second i was gonna be liek DIDNT YOU MEET AT DINNER but then realized that was robbie lol Nemo: tae yah see i just assume you know everyone i know remember xP Tae: wow u thought I was robbie Finn: you guys usually know the same people it feels like Nemo: well we've known each other a bajillion years Nemo: though i dont know any of his church or taekwondo people. there's this bloke he mentions calls hoshi? idk him? apparently he sucks Tae: fuck that guy Nemo: yeah fuck that guy Nemo: (? lol) Finn: what? Finn: why does he suck? Finn: is he mean? Tae: HES TOO PERFECT OK NO ONE IS THAT GOOD AT EVERYTHING AND HE CALLS HIMSELF TIGER THATS SO DUMB Nemo: ANNNNNYWAY Nemo: im gonna find a way to introduce you to sindri. maybe we could all play mariokart or something Nemo: invite hoshi xP Finn: omg Finn: do you call yourself something? or is it just confirmed you're bunny? Finn: wait don't hate me Nemo: wow if hoshi calls you bunny then i do understand why you'd hate him Tae: if I guys befriend hoshi I quit the friendship Tae: he does call me bunny and I hate it and I hate him and he always one ups me and butts into my conversations Tae: he always has to be better than me Finn: oh =[ Finn: that's mean then Nemo: yeah he sounds annoying fuck that guy for REAL

[readyplayerhobi]

i absolutely LOVED Ten Years and Forever or Never 😭😭 it was so cute and unfortunately, ive been in hoseoks position when he had to figure out whether or not he loved siyeon. anywhomst my question is if we’re gonna get a third part of hoseok and y/n’s do over?? 👀

I don’t have anymore of their story to tell to be honest...they’re together now, they’re a bit awkward for a while but he falls for her quicker than he expects. Everyone gets used to them being the cutest couple and they both discover that dating your best friend is actually a lot more different than just being best friends with the addition of kissing and sex!

The only thing I have in my head is the little below drabble of them announcing their official status to everyone because I got it while I was shopping in Sainsbury’s and it’s cute:

-

Making it Facebook Official

“Come on, just let me take the picture! It’s harmless, we’ve taken loads of pictures before!” You cajole your boyfriend, poking at his arm lightly as he focuses on driving. A loud whine falls from his direction as he tries to shimmy away from you while simultaneously pulling into the parking lot.

“But why?! What does it matter if you post it on Facebook or Instagram? Everyone we care about knows!” He mutters, brows falling beneath his dark sunglasses and you take a moment to admire him in them. Thankfully, Hoseok has chosen the Ray-Ban style sunglasses today and not those weird 90s era monstrosities he’d fallen in love with a few months ago.

“But the bitchy girls in my dorm and classes from college don’t know. I want to rub it in their faces that I finally got you and they never even got to touch you. Serves them right for laughing at the idea of you dating me.” You pout theatrically, thumb scrolling through your Instagram feed and scowling at the poolside photo one of the said girl’s had taken yesterday.

Hoseok stops the car once he’s parked and looks at you , lifting his glasses until you can see those beautiful, kind eyes you love so much. “I’m sorry, they said what?”

“Yeah. You know when I said everyone knew about how I felt? Well so did they, and they thought the idea of you dating me was as likely as the sun exploding. Which means, could happen but probably not for a bajillion years.” His lip purses at that.

“Well fuck them, get the camera open.” He demands and you do so quickly, letting him take the phone before suddenly his free hand is cupping the back of your head and he’s kissing you. His sunglasses have fallen back down and you can feel them against your cheek when he shifts his head to lock lips better, but you ignore it for the butterflies that flourish in your stomach at his touch.

Still felt just as magical as the first time.

Pulling away, he turns to look at the camera roll before showing you one with a smirk and handing it back to you. “Post it, and fuck ‘em.”

Chuckling, you make sure to get the perfect filters to show off his beautiful complexion and profile before writing a small but simple message on it.

Finally got the guy! ❤️❤️

Smiling to yourself, you make sure to post it to Facebook as well before changing your relationship status. It feels beyond surreal to put Jung Hoseok as your boyfriend, but your 18-year-old self is cheering in excitement. And maybe a little lust.

Eyeing him as he pulls the key out of the ignition, you let out a soft laugh before reaching over and taking his hand. He looks at you with a raised brow, eyes hidden beneath the black shades and you have the biggest urge to take them off.

“You were going to let me do it anyway weren’t you?” You ask quietly, watching as his lips fight a smile for a moment before they lose and you’re graced with his beautiful, heart shaped grin.

“Of course. Didn’t mean I wasn’t going to make you work for it though. Same as you knew that story would get me to say yes.” Cheeks heating a little, you lift his hand to press a kiss to his palm.

“Maybe. But it was true though. You don’t mind, do you? About me...you know...showing you off? Like that?” The question is hesitant but the last thing you want to do is upset Hoseok. Not when he’s been so wonderful to you.

He shakes his head with a grin before leaning over to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “Show me off, it’s fine. Feeds my ego and you’re pretty so I’ll let it slide.”

“You’re just letting it slide because I promised you a blowjob earlier.” Snorting, he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Duh. I’ve discovered I really like your mouth and so does my dick. I’m not jeopardising that!" And that was a whole new side of Hoseok you were going to have to get used to. But you didn’t mind. You wanted to discover every side of him, as long as he’ll let you.

[wellhalesbells]

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny.  finally.  i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see?  and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic.  (one ship?  sure, that’s spideypool.  one character?  sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson.  but one comic?!)  there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement.  instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah?  (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.)  in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell.  in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is.  and, yeah, it was good.  a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants.  if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm.  THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.  what an awesomely weird and epic story.  the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep.  it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best.  and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread.  also, no’s gay?  and i just DID NOT see that coming.  it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all.  lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker.  hate capitalism?  think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters?  [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley.  i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it.  a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you.  [wide, creepy smile]  the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far.  lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz.  this?  was a COOL idea.  the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat.  it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you.  the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’  some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia.  like i said, neat as all get out.  lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character.  standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton.  a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas.  a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe.  it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it.  lgbt+ main characters. 

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt.  a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol.  you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost.  HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren.  SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!!  okay, first off, the art in this?  pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had.  second, this book is so fucking fun.  it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’  infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering.  UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY.  OKAYYYY???   lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie.  one of my favorite ever series right here.  it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them.  lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes.  you know how people rave about gail simone?  there’s a reason people rave about gail simone.  honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs.  i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy.  (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did.  scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things.  so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada).  classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title.  he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies.  sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is!  lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness.  watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period.  they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard.  a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone.  just some remarkably cool shit in this.  the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes.  standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero.  kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers.  kelly thompson is not one of them.  kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson.  honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal.  doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness.  this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor.  a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip.  people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth??? 

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona.  hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel?  you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing.  lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda.  psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens.  what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule.  i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life.  also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren.  break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right?  so emma gives hers away.  problem solved, no?  standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura.  i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything.  did not.  standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky.  having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja.  honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward.  saladin revived this character one hundred million percent.  there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released.  it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples.  this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good.  like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade.  the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things?  unparalleled.  lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander.  a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out.  very neat, very cold, very readable.  standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen.  this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god.  lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had!  but you know how people rave about jeff lemire?  there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang.  the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships.  it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay?  why do i even have to sell you here, man?  lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey.  this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on.  there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother.   lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera.  this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up?  the rest of the series is knocking him back down.  super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows.  hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman.  this series is so funny and smart and warm.  these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them.  lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen.  this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact.  lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator).  this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh.   lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad.  i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat.  stat means now!   lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward.  so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies).  lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors).  i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find.  it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones.  this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done!  standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman.  a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love.  the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic.   lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares.  JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky.  i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss?  it just might be.  did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign?  maybe.  maybe i did that.  who’s to say?   lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz.  life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship.  lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan.  is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot?  .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot.  [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone.  a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters.  can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan.  i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing.  i mean, maybe i did.  maybe.   lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young.  ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel.  just two boys falling in lurve.  lgbt+ main characters.

[sentimentalprejudice-blog]

The Last, Best Second Try

“It’s truly inspiring how hard that little girl works to achieve her parent’s dreams.”

I.

He had driven his daughter to Slateport City for the Pokémon Beauty Contest.

Her father had watched her practise. She was good, but was she Hyper Rank good? It really depended on her mood. Focused and driven one day, limp and slouchy the next. There were days she was in complete control of her Spheal — skillful and precise. Then there were days she needed to pee. And she’s been chewing her hair a lot.

He had been giving her helpful advice. Use Dive to go last in the next round, then jam the other contestants with Hail. When you’re nearing five-star excitement, use Ice Ball to unexcite the audience, making it impossible for the others to maximise their appeal. And the Hail from the previous round will synergise with Ice Ball, forcing the other kids to double down on jamming you if they’re not retarded (“dad, you can’t say that”). It was all about mind games.

Obviously, Hatsune Miku and her Pichu were the crowd favourites (“that’s not her name, dad”) — the Introduction Round wasn’t going to be a fair fight. But the Secondary Round was up for grabs. Miku was already a Hyper Rank in the Pokémon Cuteness Contest, but she basically relied on acting dumb and flashing panties. The lolicon (“dad!”) schtick wasn’t going get her an easy win in the Beauty Contest.

It was the kind of advice he wished he’d been given, back when it was his turn.

II.

So there were twelve other contestants. Standard rules; top four move up to Hyper Rank. Hatsune was going to take a top rank, leaving 3 spots. If Rika got in, she’d definitely make it. Tori and Siena were older and if they got picked for seniority, that’d leave only one spot. Close.

Dad said this to her: whether you make it to Hyper Rank or not, you have to keep practicing. You can’t get lazy and fat if you do make it to Hyper Rank — it just means you have to try even harder for the Master Rank. It’s an entirely different league in Lilycove.

And if you don’t make it, you need to find out why. Go over the adjudicator’s feedback with a fine-toothed comb. Review your strategy — what worked, what didn’t. And then try again at the next Hyper Rank contest. (That’s what this is all about. Teaching his daughter resilience. That is life.)

Besides, they’re not going to let someone who’s too good stay at Super Rank forever. The whole point was to give everyone a chance, and someone who dominates the contests would make everyone unhappy. (That’s also life. But it’s not a lesson he wanted her to have to learn.)

III.

   “I’m feeling sick,” she mumbles. “I’m feeling really sick.”

The Slateport City Contest Hall is bigger and more pompous than Fallabor’s or Verdanturf’s, like walking into Apple store, except somehow even more pretentious.This is how you know you’re playing with the big kids, her Dad says. She’s too busy looking at the ground and picking her nails.

They’re behind the stage. Stagehands and parents and other, obviously important people move around them with purpose.  

   “Those are the nerves,” he says. “You need to learn to master it.”

   “I can’t go up,” she pleads, something in her tone making it into a question. “Let’s just go?”

He looks at her as if she just spat in his face.

   “Dad, this place is so much bigger than the others -- the crowd is like, a bajillion times bigger--”

   “You’ll be fine. Just focus on your routine. You’re all right.”

She needs to learn to face pressure, he thinks. This is good for her.

Besides, he didn’t drive two hours on his weekend to back out now.

   “I’m serious dad, I’m feeling really sick.”

He says more words and then the contestants are called up. She looks back at him as if he made her drink poison. He waves.

IV.

After the First Round: Tori and Siena are currently placed 2nd and 3rd. Hatsune places 5th. That doesn’t make any sense. Some no-name mute with a Charizard sits in first place by over 20 points. His daughter doesn’t get announced at the end of the round. Which means she’s in the bottom four.

   “I can’t do it!” she’s chewing on her lip. “I’m really feeling sick!”

   “You’re making yourself sick by saying that,” he says, more harshly than he means to. “You’re throwing away all our hard work!”

   “I wanna go home!”

   “Do you really want to run away?” 

He’s worked hard to get her here. And it was his responsibility to teach her to be a man. Or, a woman in a man’s world. Ideally, he wants to be friends with his daughter. But he’d be a parent first. He’d make that sacrifice.

   “Can I?” She looks at him.

Here we go, he thinks.

Maybe this seems like a simple yes or no question, but it’s not. Everything is a teachable moment when you are a parent, he thinks. This is a micro-skirmish in the eternal war of parenthood. And war needs strategy. So: as terrible as the situation is, he can use this to make her a better person.

The most obvious lesson is that failure happens. Nothing is ever guaranteed. It’s basically impossible to rank now. Life is competition. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, an asshole with a Charizard will swoop down and take everything from you.  

So, going out there for the second round — whilst maintaining your dignity — without giving up, without limp-wristedly bowing out — there’s value in that. And then owning whatever rank you get. (“What do I tell everyone back home? Can I lie?”) No. Tell them the truth. That you didn’t make the cut — that there are people better than you, and that you’re going to practice hard, and try again soon.

Besides, it’s not like she really tried all that hard. She wasn’t out every day practicing at the town gym, or studying optimal movesets. Getting to Master Rank with just occasional practice can make you think you deserve to win. That you’re naturally good at everything. And when life inevitably makes you fail it will crush your identity right into dust. And the next thing you know your best friend’s elder brother introduces you to a guy who’s got some rare candy dust (“you should see what it does to humans, bruh”) and keeps bringing up how he and his Gardevoir love to ‘experiment’.

Getting to Master Rank is an accomplishment. Going back out there, failing, and then coming back? That’s a life lesson.

V.

She’s standing on stage for the Second Round. She’s going second last -- it’s coming up to her turn.

   “Going back out there is hard. But you can do it. Nothing is impossible. You can do whatever you set your mind to. You’re young, the whole world is out there. Just focus, focus, focus...” He had kept talking, saying more and more words. But it wasn’t enough to stop the inevitable thought:

You’re about to fail at Pokémon again.

Did he ever tell his daughter that he wanted to be a Pokémon trainer, when he was her age? Of course, he tells himself that he hadn’t wanted to be a Pokémon trainer that much, but with all that wasted time and lack of effort it’s inevitable that he’ll never be a Trainer any more.

Watching her try and fail the same way he did was like failing at Pokémon training twice. On the wrong side of fifty there wasn’t any more time left for him, but his daughter was like a thousand open doors, leading to all sorts of possibilities that were now closed for him. There are no more chances for him. But -- crazy thought -- his daughter would give him a sort of loophole.

He’s not going to be a Master Rank Pokémon trainer any more. But he could be the father of a Master Rank Pokémon trainer. And he’d be in the front row of all her contests, sitting in a kind of fulfilled contentment. Giving some sage advice every now and then. Everyone would know it was his effort that got her there. He’s not saying he’s father of the year material or anything. But that’s because he wouldn’t need to say it.

She’s raising her arm to direct her Spheal.

She’s gone back out there. She’s giving it another go. I’m winning, he thinks. This is what it means to be a good parent. Seeing past the surface, striking at the core issues that will make her better. Tempering her into a strong woman.  And, maybe, getting some of the recognition I deserve.

She stands there, silent. Everyone is watching her. Something is wrong. And then, motionless, she starts sobbing.

I am a failure, he realises.

Somehow, he had gotten it into this head that his daughter’s success would keep from from getting old. He had failed at being a Pokémon Trainer, he had failed at everything else in his life, and he was proving to be just as mediocre at parenthood as everything else.

He had managed to turn something as joyful and wondrous as Pokémon into a child’s nightmare.

For his daughter’s entire life, he had been trying to con her into thinking she can be anyone she wants to be, completely disregarding that she’s already who she wants to be. Instead of being a guiding hand, he had been just another one of the bullies in her life, chipping away at her foundation until there was nothing left, making it harder to be fulfilled, and impossible to be happy.

Everything is a teachable moment when you are a piece of garbage. And everything that he had said to her today had been a biotoxin. Did he hear her, did he listen to anything that was important in her life? What she really valued?

If he is so wise, with so much knowledge to teach, then he wouldn’t be so miserable. And none of this would have happened.

VI.

The story isn’t about his atonement, or absolution. The story’s not even about him at all. You either get that or you don’t, and it’s not a stretch to say that’s precisely why children are competing in Pokémon contests at all.

He had planned so many speeches. For every single eventuality. All the inspiring speeches he’d write about in his memoirs.

But.

Something in his brain breaks and he manages to resist all of the worst in him, and just run out on stage and hug her.

He leads her by the hand off the stage, out of the hall, into the beautiful summer day outside.

He takes them to a park nearby and leans down next to her and says, “there’s not much I can do or say to make this better, but I love you. All the time. I’m so proud of you. Take this.” He hands her a disc — it’s the TM for Bubblebeam. She had wanted this for so long, but the Pokémon Trainer he was pretending to be had said it wasn’t an optimum move for the Beauty Contest and forbade it. He had been saving it as a victory present for her win today. But sometimes when your daughter is crying, you just have to — fix it.

They teach it to her Spheal and they spend the afternoon blowing bubbles into the warm summer air. His daughter looks at him through her drying tears and her face begins to bloom with a toothy, wide grin. She walks, then runs between her Spheal and the bubbles, talking and chatting excitedly about everything and nothing, and for a moment he thinks that if he can just keep his mouth shut and stay the hell out of her way, she might just be okay.

[logan-are-you-okay]

Just a day at the hospital

It’s been three days... three days since Chase was stabbed by that man. They caught the guy, and apparently there was recordings on that block that caught him saying ‘How’s this for Bro Average?’ Guess he just didn’t like the show... Good thing MARKIPLIER TV has two episodes recorded of a show before they go on, so people won’t be missing their episode this week. Sadly, it’s also been three days since he has last seen Bing. The nurses keeping asking if he can come back, but Chase keeps rejecting him or he’s just asleep when he comes by. The only ones he allows back are his daughter and son. However, Chase keeps screaming whenever he’s asleep. Being woken up by his nightmares, the doctors always ask what’s wrong... but he never tells them. Why should he? It doesn’t injure his physical health so they don’t need to worry about it, right?

Slowly Chase rolls over on his side, trying his best not to yank the things that where helping him breathe. The pain in his chest wasn’t as bad anymore, it just stung and pinched when the stitches where being pulled apart. The worst thing of this all, is that when he’s alone... he’s left to his thoughts. He can’t stop them, it just happens whenever he hears dead noise.

“Sir, one of your family members are here. May I send them in?” A nurse asks as they cracked the door to the room. The hospital here was different then the ones at home. Usually they had curtains to block off each section for each room, but this was a Medicare center. It was almost like the top ER that you had to go to if your injury was super severe. Also the kids where at school right now, the only family member that lives close by was someone he’s never ever met. So... who could it be?

“Yes, you can...” He says with a groggy voice. The IV fluid was really making his mouth dry, and the more he moved his chest, the more it would hurt. God this was so stupid, hooked up to machines for something that he should be able to do on his own. God what was wrong with him? Suddenly the door opens, then promptly shuts. Chase slowly sits up grunting as he goes along, once he’s able to he looks up at the door and his eyes widen. Bing, fucking, Iplier... right there in front of him.

“Sorry, Bro. They wouldn’t let me in any other way.” He says casually. How many times had he tried to get in here and he just... rejected him?

“What did you tell them... which member anyway?” He asks timidly, the tension in the room you couldn’t even cut with a chainsaw.

“That I was your husband.” Chase’s stomach turns into knots as his throat feels like a lump got stuck in it. Why...why of all things would he say that?

“O-Okay then...” Bing then walks over to the chair right next to the bed and pulls it up closer. Chase looks down and plays with his hands. His head was still screaming to fucking run! But his heart kept screaming, IM GONNA GO RUN UP MTN EVEREST WANNA JOIN!? God if his heart goes any faster, you’ll be able to see it through his skin.

“So...” Bing asks, probably trying to start a conversation. Chase just bites his lip as he tries so desperately to stay looking away from Bing. Every single part of him was screaming his name.

“Why do you have to stay here for so long?” Bing says while looking directly at Chase. Desperately Chase tries his hardest to not look. There is no point whatsoever.

“The guy... h-he stabbed through my rib cage and it nicked my lung I guess...” He says while slowly lowering himself against the back of the bed. This was so stupid...

“Well, what did you tell them about all those scars that you had?” Chase’s eyes widen as he gets asked. Did he know that they asked him that? Or was he trying to get it off of him of what they actually are?

“T-the scars?” He says kind of high pitch trying his hardest on what he actually told them. They asked when they where wheeling him in out of surgery while he was on loopy gas so that he would tell the truth. However, he had a strong mental capacity and still managed to lie about it.

“I-I said that they where from b..Bro Average shoots.” Technically is wasn’t a lie, it is what he told them! Just... not what actually happened.

“Ah, Alright then. How about you tell the truth to me?” Chase Quickly swallows looking at the opposite side of the room as he fiddles with his necklace that his son made him while he’s been at the hospital. It had a shark tooth on it, and the line was covered in red and green. Somehow it was able to bring him peace as he did.

“I-I don’t understand w...what you mean...” He says very timidly, not wanting to talk anymore. However he’s met with pressure being added onto the bed right next to him. Now this really made Chase’s heart go a bajillion Miles a minute! Being questioned already being thrown, and then adding into the mix of Have Bing sit next to him. Instantly his body tenses up as he feels Bing place a hand on his back rubbing small circles.

“I’m not stupid Chase. I went through every single one of your ‘Bro Average’ videos trying to find which stunts could’ve given you that scar on your eye, or the scars that I saw on your chest not to long ago.” Chase instinctively pulls up the covers that he had up to his chest, almost as if trying to hide them out of embarrassment.

“Also I payed very close attention seeing scar after scar show up in different places as the series went on.” Bing slowly starts lifting up the Medical night gown as his fingers softly trail up Chase’s skin which makes Chase bite his hand to prevent from making any noise. He has never had a man, let alone his crush touch him... if you don’t count that kiss, BUT THAT’S ALL DIFFERENT SHIT! Chase can hear Bing sigh as he sees... even more scars. Chase can start to feel the guilt rushing inside of him as he screws his eyes shut trying to stop the images from passing by.

“...I don’t w-wanna talk about it...” He says while his hands dug into the medical pillow that his head was on. There was no point in any of this, telling... who’d believe him? He’s a fucking guy and no one thinks women can do such horrible things...

“Can you j...just turn the IV up... I don’t want to think about this a-anymore..” he can feel the movement in the end shift as Bing looks from the IV to him.

“Chase... the IV’s almost at 11... you could die...” Bing says with his voice full of concern. Chase soon lets tears fall, how can he act like this? He’s being so selfish, turning it up to 11 would kill you... tears start to escape his eyes as he thinks about that. Stacy’s words echo in the back of his mind, she’s right. Every single little word that she’s ever muttered to him. He’s an idiot... a bitch... a pussy... a cunt... stupid... horrible father... selfish... a faggot... scum of the earth... a failure... an abortion gone wrong... he should just do what she told him to do... just jump... just fucking jump... Randomly he feels Bing’s warm arms wrap around him, but doesn’t dare open his eyes. He wasn’t tense in the embrace, nor was his heart going a million miles. It was peaceful and calm as he cried out. If it was anything else, he would have rejected this. Chase slowly puts his hand on top of Bing’s of the one that was on top of him.

“I’m right here, Chase... you can tell me anything.” He says in a very light whisper trying to comfort him, but it doesn’t really help...

“W...why do y-you even c..care? D..damage h-has already been... d-done...” He says in the heat of the moment. Why should Bing care? It’s not like it’s going to change who he was. It’s not like Bing can help him in anyway, Stacy was already in jail for a DUI... there’s just no point anymore. In any of this. He just ruins everyone’s lives. First he came out bisexual which ruined his relationship with his parents... he married Stacy which ended his relationship with his best friend... he ruined his children’s lives by bringing them into a horrible family of yelling, screaming, swearing... then he ruined his life with being with Stacy... no matter where he went he was her’s... never able to escape the mental and physical scars that she left...

“I Care, because I’m your friend. Dude, I can tell when someone’s lying to me, please just tell me... you can’t keep something bottled up.” Bing says while slightly hugging Chase with the arm he had wrapped around him. It’s not unhealthy... it just didn’t matter... he’s one person in a place of billions... the only reason that he holds on is because of his kids. They are his only anchor in this world... if he wasn’t there they’d just be with Bing. They already love him so much...

“I-I don’t b..bottle it up... my thoughts r-replay it to me...” great fucking Excuse Chase. A- for effort... The weight on the bed shifts again as Chase feels Bing pull him closer to his chest. He can even hear his heart beat and heavy breathing. Alright NOW his heart can go ten million miles an hour and not get pulled over on the freeway. Hell heart, you just do you! Also, guess Bing’s lying down now next to him.

“Chase. Brody. You need to tell me, if you do I’ll tell you something about me. Would that be alright?” He asks with a commanding, but also comforting voice. How does that even work? He takes a deep breath, filtering through his words very carefully.

“M-my ex...” that was all he was able to manage to say before tears came pouring down. Please don’t make him say more! Please don’t make him say more! Just even saying that was to much for him to handle. Bing slowly turns Chase’s head to the side so that they where both looking at each other. Chase wanted to desperately look away, but Bing’s eyes where so beautiful...

“I would never treat you like that.” Chase lets out a long airy breath as they look at one another. The silence was peaceful, then having the last words be those... made Chase only fall even more into his love for Bing. What did he do that could have possibly been right that made Bing kiss him those three days ago? What was the one thing that he’s done right in his entire life to have Bing hold him like this? Was it because he was hurt? Did Bing feel like this was his fault?

“I promise.” Chase’s thoughts get cut short once again as Bing kisses him. Why was this happening to him? Don’t get him wrong, he loved it as he kissed him back, but what did he do to deserve this? His whole life has been a fuck up, but right now? Everything was perfect. No Stacy in his mind... no scars that stained to his body like an infection.

Slowly Bing’s hand moved to the side of Chase’s waist as Chase hesitantly moved his arms around Bing’s neck. Was this was he suppose to do? Or was he suppose to be doing something else!? He’s never been in this type of position before. His hands where shaking from the anxiety and ‘This was actually happening’ feelings. Bing must’ve felt it as he pulled back, and placed his forehead against Chase’s.

“Relax, Chase. I know what I’m doing.” With that he again pushes his lips against Chase’s.

All over again Chase melts into it, completely intoxicated by this. In the back of his mind, he can barely hear the anxiety of where did this leave them now? Once they where done with whatever this was... what where they going to be? Deep down Chase hoped this meant that they would go out and try to be a couple. However he didn’t know what Bing was feeling. Maybe the same? He has been the one to start all of this. However it doesn’t matter now. He’s in the moment right now, and everything was perfect.... right now.

(Sorry @alaughingfreak I couldn’t make it angsty! My brain wouldn’t let me)

[r-o-se]

ALMOST 101 thought-comments on ep 3 of Produce 101 S2

1.      They are showing the kids journals and practice things. I feel so so sorry for people who have trained for like…. 5 yrs and still cant debut its fucking DEPRESSING

2.      Everyone are talking about how they wanna get to A and nowwwwww they’re revealing the new grades I’m gonna be SAD

3.      Bunch of good kids downgraded to F including Ren and Guanlin and Jinyoung poor boy cant look up from the ground I am REAL SAD BOI

4.      ENTIRE YUEHUA FAM IS D RANK NOW I AM SO FUCKING SAD AAAAAAHHH ALL OF MY KIDS

5.      MINHYUN WENT DOWN TO D I AM SO SO SO SO SAD A G H ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE DOESN’T DO WELL UNDER PRESSURE

6.      K-TIGER BYUN HYUNMIN GOT FROM F TO C AND ENTERED WITH A FLIP WOOOOO

7.      TAKADA KENTA GOT TO B MY DUDE they even said his Korean pronounciation is better than some of the other trainees I’m so PROUD

8.      JR GOT TO B MY BOY MY BOY MY BOY MY BOY IM SO PROUD MY BEAUTIFUL WARTORTLE SON IM SO SO PROUD AHH

9.      And now he says he was too sad about Ren and other NU’EST members who stayed at their grade or went down by one (Minhyun and Ren dropped a rank, Baekho stayed at D) to feel actually happy this is the fucking sad self sacrificing leader I know that boy would cut his leg off for NU’EST to get reciognized again

10.   HYUNGSEOB GOT FROM D TO A WHO HAS NO TALENNT IN SINGING? WHO?? NOT THIS BOY FUCK Y E A H THIS IS THE BEST THING

11.   Kim Taedong from the Vibe Label got from F to A holy fuckk

12.   WOOJIN AND DANIEL GOT BOTH UP TO A

13.   Seriously this is the best bromance of the entire season Daniel dotes on that kid so hard its so fucking cute

14.   They are announcing A grade reevaluations out loud??? Sounds scary ngl

15.   Entire original A grade stays at A grade this really is some hardcore aces all gathered together

16.   They are going to choose the first center now and no one really knew about it, the A ranks are gonna do a one minute performance/choreography within a hour and then everyone will choose a center from that

17.   Everyone are like what on earth do I do right now within a hour

18.   First is Daniel my pink boy who has THREE CATS!! Important information yes anyways hes rapping from a paper and i

19.   Noone pays attention to BNM Park Woojin poor kiddo ppl are like ‘the not Daehwi from BNM’ ‘The other Woojin’ but now he came out and HE DANCED SOS WELL AND RAPS SO WELL WTF DUDE HIS DANCE IS REALLY GREAT WHY WASN’T HE PICKED

20.   Another BNM rarpper kid, Im Youngmin, who rose from B to A but his nerves got the better of him

21.   Soooooooooo many rappers in A rank holy damn

22.   HYUNGSEOB SMALL NERVOUS KID

23.   He apparently had major problems with the time limit and messed up real bad and said he was sad as well I am sad too poor kiddo

24.   Now it’s the kid who came from F to A. He started clapping and everyone did it with him but he FORGOT HIS DANCE MOVES POOR KID AND PPL STILL CHEER FOR HIM IM GLAD

25.   Now it’s time for the little Woojin

26.   HOTSHOT SUNGWOON!!!!!!! His vocals are soooo good goddamn

27.   Other vocally talented kid, Kim Sungri ended with a damn flip

28.   Dance kids Noh Taehyun (IMPORTANT) and Ong Sungwoo

29.   And now the two mains, Samuel and Daehwi lol

30.   Daehwi went off from others and is kinda hiding because he doesn’t want others to know what he’s doing lol

31.   Samuel does some fast rapping and then a really neat and sharp choreo

32.   Daehwi aka the one who wins this im rlly anticipating this ngl

33.   Hes doing the og Pick Me song for I.O.I with really cheesy aegyo lol and I mean its cool but…….. BNM WOOJIN SHOULD’VE WON I don’t even stan that kid but he was sooooooo good

34.   The two candidates for center are Daehwi and the little Woojin

35.   They are now practicing for the big stage

36.   Why blur out the center lol we all already know it’s Daehwi

37.   Ren is so in distress it’s SAD lil boy went out to cry I love him so much gdi he’s more than a pretty face APPREACIATE HIM

38.   And roll the same stage ive seen a bajillion times lol they didn’t even bother switching out the individual shots of kids

39.   JUSTIN AND KENTA LOOK SO GOOD IM SHOOK

40.   I don’t know if it’s the flaw of my laptop but the thing I’m watching this from has such bad and laggy audio rip

41.   I’m really glad they showed that Kim Youngjin kid who was completely edited out from the first two episodes and overall just a bunch of shots of F graders it makes me happy

42.   Now it’s time for the group battle thing and unlike last season with a 1000 vote benefit its fucking 3000

43.   Everyone under the 61 rank will be dead

44.   The evaluation songs are 2PM-10 out of 10//Beast-Shock//BTS-Boy in Luv//Seventeen-Mansae//EXO-Call Me Baby//INFINITE-Be Mine//SHINee-Replay//Super Junior-Sorry Sorry

45.   Totally unrelated to the stuff going on there rn but I’m super excited to see the Infinite performance I fucking LOVE Be Mine and it’s choreo

46.   The teams get chosen by randomly drawn trainees, first is Daehwi because, yano, center

47.   He takes Hotshot Sungwoon, Brave Samuel, Maroo ent Jihoon, Cre.Ker Haknyeon, C9 Jinyoung, Yuehua Euinwoong AKA the kids that are popular/choosing for popularity not ability lol no hate to any kids I love them but I mean… you know lol

48.   Next is Minhyun, He chooses individ. Kim Jaehwan, MMO Kang Daniel, YGk+ Kwon Hyunbin, Fantagio Seongnwoo and NU’EST JR

49.   They don’t know the other teams in that detail rip

50.   The last kids, 5 F ranks and one D rank make up the last team sighs poor leftovers

51.   Now they’re gonna race for the songs, one B rank redhead is going to run barefoot, I don’t know his name but I’M ROOTING FOR HIM NOW U GOT MY VOTE

52.   Unlike last season, only half of the trainees can get a song they want, the first one to get back with their song gets it, later the ones who made it back first get to choose their opponent from the slower ones

53.   Omg the barefoot B rank is SO FAST I’m just gonna link it here because I cant get a good screenshot just click on this entire comment it’ll open in a new window

54.   Minhyun tried to get Boy in Luv but Daehwi was few seconds faster it is SAD TIME

55.   The fastest in the race gets to choose an opponent first, the slowest last.

56.   Fastest team chooses the leftovers team as their opponent

57.   Minhyuns team gets chosen last bc theyre so hardcore

58.   Omgggg Justin, Zhu Zheng and Ren are all in the Replay group this is HEAVEN

59.   Their rival team with A.Tom, MMO Taewoong and Jaehan are all more intimidating looking guys who really don’t fit the Replay softie concept and they are in despair sighs goddamnit Zhu WHY DID U CHOOSE THEM U ASS

60.   ANYWAYS now to other teams, one team got Infinites Be Mine and wow one of the dudes, Im Youngmin from grade A knows the full choreo and says it’s easier than the Nayana choreo

61.   The first team just discovered that Sunggyu sings 90% of the song and see who gets to sing it

62.   Part goes to FNC Yoo Hwiseung who has such an amazing high note everyone stare at him

63.   WOODAMMMM AND HIS GR8 VOICE he’s gonna get the main vocal part to Mansae everyone are sooooo hype

64.   This is the leftover team who goes against the Woodam Mansae team and they don’t have any good vocals sighs this is so sad poor little kids this is so depressing I just want everyone to do well

65.   Beast Shock team 2 only trainees I know is Donogsu from S.How and that’s it rip

66.   Team 1 has one of the D grade YGk+ kids and Minhyuk who ranked last during ep 1 andddd I don’t know others annnnnnnnnd that group isn’t getting shit done they just play around and don’t get anything decided sighs

67.   The avengers team has Baekho’s team as their opponent

68.   Team 2 has Kim Sangbin from grade A as their salty leader aahahah

69.   Fun fact when I first heard shock I thought they said ‘chug’ and I never really bothered to check it until my Beast biased friend called me out lool he doesn’t think they fit the manly man image for Boy in Luv

70.   BAEKHO STEPPED UP AND SAID THAT THEY HAVE GOOD DANCERS LIKE SAMUEL AND JIHOON PLEDIS FAM ISN’T DEAD

71.   ‘Since they are all popular they are gonna fight over the center position’ aahahah FUCK he’s right they are doing excactly that

72.   JIHOON ACTED WITH BIG BANG???????? WHAT??? W HA T ???

73.   Jihoon became the center that’s what happens when u act with bigbang

74.   JINWOOS TEAM HAS CALL ME BABY he’s the second to last chosen team sighs but he’s with the shy kid Dongbin, Han Minho and pink haired Seokyu with that scandal of him getting beaten up ugh poor baby

75.   Anyways that group has a dance off for the center position and even though most preferred Minho they didn’t say it out loud so Dongbin got it but… he isn’t too good with singing rip

76.   The other Call Me Baby team has Moonbok and everyone are kinda thinking that this team will win just because of him lmao

77.   But Moonbok has major problems learning the choreo so hes both their strong and weak point

78.   SORRY SORRY TEAM 1 HAS HA MINHO and also Kim Namhyung and Cube Yoo Seungho making them decently a strong team unlucky enough to go against Minhyun’s

79.   MINHYUNS TEAM AKA DREAM TEAM THANK U MINHYUN FOR CREATING THE TRUE AVENGERS

80.   Sungwoo said that JR gave leader vibes from the moment he saw him and everyone agree

81.    JR is beating himself up again about becoming the leader I’m so sad if this group is not gonna do well he will take it so bad I’m scared to even think about it

82.   Hyunbin suggests Sungwoo and Daniel for center, Daniel says it’s the best for Sungwoo and everyone agree and Sungwoo fake ugly cries and it’s beautiful I’m so glad my team is friendly

83.   10 out of 10 team has Jisung and Kim Taemin, Jisung gets called ‘artificial flavour’ lmao and Jae Chan becomes the Center

84.   The other 10 out of 10 team has Park Woojin from BNM as the leader and Hotshot Taehyun who actually can do the choreo hook. They also have Yuehua Hyungseob, GON ent Eunki and Yongbin whose ent I forgot but hes the one with the pretty nose lol

85.   Taehyun knows the choreo in another way from as it’s written down and it feels a bit heated

86.   The first team has problems doing the tricky chore but the second one gets it pretty well + they have the K-Tiger Byun Hyunmin so its easier for them

87.   First team has serious problems WHY DID THEY CHOOSE SUCH AN ACROBATIC RIVAL

88.   Now they’re preparing for their stage makeup and clothing and whatnot aaaaaahhh I’m so EXCITED everyone are looking so GOOD

89.   2PM 10 out of 10 teams are gonna go on now I’m SO EXCITED FUCK DUDE

90.   Jisung gets called the ‘master of facial expressions’ that’s a pretty lame name for the meme god

91.   Cut to the practice, team 1 is pretty fucking sad and their center Jae Chan makes mistakes with both singing and dancing

92.   Jisung gets praised for his dance and whatnot, Jae Chan asks for more timie to practice, the rest of the team shut him down and make Jisung the center

93.   This choreo is pretty gay ngl and the song is GREAT

94.   They threw confetti on themselves lmaoo

95.   ONE OF THEM DID A BALLET TWIRL SO CUTE

96.   Team 2 is veeeeery ambitious but Hyungseob is having problems with lyrics

97.   Park Woojin and Taehyun are having problems bc Woojin is the leader but Taehyun leads more and Woojin is sad aw

98.   People are crazy about team 2 lol poor team 1 2 has three A ranks and the k-tiger

99.   Ngl I liked team 1 more but I mean….. 2 flashed abs and flips so they are def gonna win sighs

100.   Can’t believe Park Jihoon is gonna sue Ahn Hyungseob for winking

101.   Lmaoooo Kim Taemin rated the other team 8.5/10 for their performance, Hyungseob said the first team was 8.4/10

102.   It just hit me I wont see like half of my kids again ever after this wow now I’m fucking sad fuck you mnet

103.   SOMEONE CALLED JISUNGS NAME AND THAT BABY STARTED CRYING AAWWHH ‘I was reciognized by someone’ FUCKING CUTE

104.   Oh my god they are revealing the results now I am SADDDD

105.   HYUNMIN SCORED OUT JISUNG I AM SAD

106.   HYUNGSEOB GOT 163 VOTES??? WHAT THE FUCK???????

107.   TEAM 2 WON???? BUT THEY ONLY HAD TWO PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT THE VOTES IN IM SO ANGRY TEAM 1 FUCKING DESERVED THIS AAAAAAGHHHHHH

108.   3000 votes is so much that’s so fucking much

109.   Anyways this was sad 

110. FALSE ALARM FALSE ALARM THIS ISNT OVER I JUST DISCOVERED THE CALL ME BABY CLIP THAT WASN’T UPLOADED BEFORE AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH SAVE ME

111.   Anyways 111 what a gr8 number lets watch Jinwoo be amazing as he always is

112.   Team 1 center is ‘age doesnt matter’ Hyunwoo and he just got scolded by Kahi

113.   Team 1 has Moonbok and Hyunwoo, team 2 has Jinwoo so who’s the real winner here

114.   Kahi lets two other members, Donghan and Woncheol to try out for the center position, Donghan does really well, Woncheol not as well. Hyunwoo apparently looks too strong and ‘not sexy’ in the center position loool

115.   Donghan becomes the new center and Hyunwoo cries poor kiddo ugh 

116.   Moonbok has an energizing effect on everyone ngl its cute lmao he also hides behind Hyunwoo while riding piggyback and pops out during one moment aahahahahah

117.   Aaaaaaaand its STARTING shit son the harmonies are nice, their main vocal is REALLY good and Donghae does amazingly as the center

118.   I mean Moonbok energizing others and being enthusiastic is cute but they are overhyping him a loooooooot

119.   Ok but... let me see Jinwoo... pls... THERE HE IS IN AN OVERSIZED PLLAID KINDA THING

120.   Apparently this team was pretty problematic while practicing and as far as I know they also 1) where the second to last to be chosen and 2) lost this competition ugh

121.    Their center, Dongbin doesn’t know his parts and is.... not good sighs I’m sad he also started crying

122.   Jinwoo has to do all the hard singing parts because he’s the only compentent vocal in the group and just..... ugh poor kid he is going to kill his voice I’m so so so so so sad

123.   LEZZ GO JINWOO IS SO GOOD PLEASE PPL PAY ATTENTION TO HIM 

124.   Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhahahah all the teachers are on the edges of their seats because of how those makeshift vocalists are doing

125.   If Jinwoo doesn’t make it though this evulation I’m going to be really, really, really, really, REALLY sad  

126.   Team 1 has only 2 positions that overdid team 2 positions but they still won bc Jelly Heeseok and Moonbok brought so many votes in. Jinwoo did alright though, not too good but alright

127.   Team 2 lost. Obviously. Ugh. I’m just... sad dude

now it’s really done and it was even sadder than I anticipated

ring me up when u wanna cry about p101 im always up for that 

[jurakan]

Alright the mess that is Assassin’s Creed: Unity

@tarynsullivan asked for it so here we go.

Assassin’s Creed for those not in the know is a historical science-fiction series about the secret war between two secret societies throughout history, the Assassins and the Templars. The way these stories were originally framed was that some dude in the modern day, Desmond Miles, was reliving the memories of his ancestors through a machine called the Animus, learning Assassin skills and information about the secret history of the world all the while.

Thing is, nobody really liked Desmond. Alright actually lots of people liked him, but critics didn’t, and his segments were frequently cited as the most boring in the video games, because for the most part there isn’t much action. After all, the main draw was the historical sections, so that’s where most of the budget went. The first game has all of his segments wandering around the lab uncovering clues. The second had some fighting and parkour stuff, but only a little. The next couple didn’t have any fighting at all. So Assassin’s Creed III decided to fix this by giving him a couple of missions where he fights/assassinates, and then killed him off at the end.

Yeah, here’s the thing though--without a central protagonist, the present day storyline pushing it all kind of floundered around.

Oops.

Pushing things further was that this was a series that was constantly trying to reinvent itself, which can be a difficult when you’re releasing one game per year. Which makes sense--you have different historical periods, you have different kinds of weapons and societies and such, so how the game works has to change. And of course, this was when consoles were switching, so they’d be getting brand spanking new types of systems (the Xbox One and the Playstation 4) to play these games on, after the polarizing Assassin’s Creed III and the near-universally loved Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.

And so...Assassin’s Creed: Unity.

To be fair here this was one of the most ambitious titles in the series. It was the setting that people had been clamoring for since it was announced that the first game would get sequels: the French Revolution. It would feature the city of Paris actually to scale, rather than the scaled down versions of cities in past games. And you’d get to go in buildings, and they’d be taking a back-to-basics approach to assassinations, which means that instead of scripted events that end with killing someone, you just have a target and you can pick however you want to get to them. Movement was revamped, so climbing around was much easier (and beautiful to look at). Combat was made more difficult to put more emphasis on stealth, and now you could customize your character in a bajillion different ways, which would help you when you did co-op multiplayer, where you team up with your friends online and killed people together. You know, bonding. The idea being that your different friends focus on different skills; you’d be the stealth guy with lockpicking, he’d be the combat guy, she’d be the sniper, and so forth.

The first major issue was before release. See, at some game convention, someone asked if you could play as a female Assassin. The actual answer was no, because you’re always playing as the main character of the game, who’s a dude, and in multiplayer each of you sees yourself as that main character and your friends as other Assassins. Which is weird, but whatevs.

But somehow someone took the actual statement and twisted it to “Ubisoft official said women are too hard to animate,” which led to this whole kerfuffle of people saying they were wrong, that Ubisoft was claiming that they couldn’t have a female protagonist (even though they’d done it before, so obviously not true), and some people going so far as to say that the Assassin’s Creed series didn’t have female characters, which isn’t even close to being true. But hey, you get the Internet social justice movements rolling, there’s little that’s going to stop them.

So already a bunch of people were saying they were going to boycott this game.

The thing that most critics noticed was that there were tons of bugs. Like...a lot. Ubisoft scrambled to fix as many as they could right after release, but the damage was already made. The game had forever been branded as the one where people’s faces didn’t load, and the much-anticipated co-op multiplayer was laggy. You had to pay for certain online features to unlock everything. So people kept saying not to buy this game, because it’s broken and glitchy as fudge, which led to lower sales. Obviously longtime fans were buying, but newcomers (the market Ubisoft had been courting since killing off Desmond) stayed away because everyone was saying this game wasn’t very good. So Unity had much lower sales than expected.

Except longtime fans didn’t like this game so much either, because of the story. There pretty much wasn’t a modern day story, other than a new character popping up with no introduction saying to find this person so that we can find him before the Templars do in modern day; which at the end, turns out to be taken care of, so it didn’t go anywhere. There was an ancient artifact in the story, like in most games, but no one seems to care that it exists, or what happened to it after the historical sections of the game. So again, goes nowhere.

The historical sections were also plagued by protagonist issues. People rant about how Arno Dorian, the new Assassin, wasn’t very good and was just a copy of more popular protagonists of the past. I don’t think that’s necessarily true. He’s snarkier than them, and he’s got his own woes and troubles and is sympathetic enough. I think the problem is just that the story told isn’t his. Let me expound:

Basically, the story starts with him as a wee little lad. His father is mysteriously killed, so he’s adopted by the De La Serre family, a wealthy aristocratic family who has a daughter (Elise) about his own age. They grow up together, they fall in love, but then Elise’s dad/Arno’s guardian is murdered and Arno is framed for it. Arno’s locked up in the Bastile (in the segment shown in Conan’s playthrough) where he meets a friend of his father, who trains him to be an Assassin. They escape on Bastile Day, he becomes an Assassin....BUT OHES NOES, it turns out that the de La Serres were actually a Templar family, and Elise’s dad’s murder was a coup within the Templar Order itself. So Elise is on a rampage of revenge, and Arno wants to help her, but he’s more there for her and she doesn’t care about personal safety and also other Assassins think working with a Templar is stupid and--

Look if this sounds really complicated, it is, even by AC standards. But my point is this: the story doesn’t center around Arno. It centers around Elise. It’s her revenge plot. It’s her father who was killed. Yeah Arno’s dad was also murdered, but he doesn’t seem overly concerned with that and it never comes up again. By all rights the story is about Elise, but we’re not playing as her. So while Arno isn’t a bad character, the fact is that it isn’t his story, so he isn’t allowed to shine his best.

Compounding on all of this is that the French Revolution is mostly a backdrop. Past games used a lot of historical events and tied them into the plot. Ezio’s dad, for instance, was killed because he knew about the Pazzi Conspiracy before it happened. Connor goes and kills the Templar Pitcairn at the Battle of Bunker Hill. Edward goes and helps get Blackbeard medicines from Charleston when he blockaded the city. And so forth. History was stretched to fit the plot sometimes, but it was still there.

Not so for the French Revolution. Yeah, he breaks out from the Bastile on Bastile Day, but other than that? Nothing. Napoleon pops up in a few scenes but doesn’t do much. The King is executed in one cutscene, but it’s not actually related to anything anyone’s doing. And Robespierre’s fall is in the game but it’s not until towards the end. So it’s mostly a way to have a certain aesthetic without actually having history in the story.

Furthermore, the history is...off. And often biased. The past games weren’t as perfect as some fans like to think. Painting the Borgias as obvious incestuous supervillains, for one. Charles Lee being racist against Native Americans and a complete dickwad, despite actually being married to a Native American in real life, something the game doesn’t bring up. But Unity paints Revolutionaries as just being violent extremists to make a moral against extremism. Myths like Louis’s execution being decided by one vote are repeated. The lack of money and food was just because the Templars did it, rather than mentioning that France was in debt because of all the wars it had waged. Robespierre is a Templar despite in real life being paranoid about secret societies and conspiracies. Charlotte Corday, one of the most famous assassins in history, isn’t part of the Brotherhood but just an angry woman who murdered Marat (who isn’t alive in the game at all). Actually most real life revolutionaries have either reduced roles or just aren’t in it--Danton only shows up in co-op missions as ‘the Hero of the Revolution and the friend that Robespierre betrayed!’ Champollion as an adult is in a side mission, despite him having been about three years old at the time.

People had often criticized how the games had you change history, but this one was criticized for almost ignoring it. The Assasssins are all about doing stuff for the little guy, but stay almost entirely out of this event. At least one article said ignoring the Revolution was like setting a story in NYC in 2001 and not talking about the 9/11 attacks.

Past games also tried to get accents right? The first one had Altair with an American accent sure, but other characters spoke with Arabic or French or German accents, and Altair’s was fixed in later games. The Renaissance games had voice coaches teach the actors to speak with Italian accents. Connor and his people actually speak Mohawk in their scenes. Unity... skipped this step, and went with British accents despite them not being English. This is pretty common in fiction, but it was jarring in a series that usually did better. And it didn’t work with a character like Napoleon Bonaparte speaking perfectly good upper-class English when in real life he was mocked for speaking French with an Italian accent, being from Corsica.

The TV Tropes pages have more comprehensive stuff if you’re curious.

All of this put together this made the game something of an embarrassment for the people at Ubisoft. They straight-up apologized for it in public, and its low sales led to the series going on break for 2016 (if we don’t count the movie). Syndicate, the game that immediately followed in 2015, was widely considered to be a sort of apology--not a brilliant game, but a step in the right direction. To this day though, Arno’s often left out of official materials and the events of the Revolution aren’t mentioned most of the time.

Aaaaand yeah. That pretty much sums it up as best I can.