#……yeah I got the tism from her. 😂

[applecherry108]

I was simply trying to google search obituaries to figure out what year my grandmother was born. Instead, I can only find her husband, my grandfather, and bc he was a vet there’s like, comments from friends and family. I knew and always felt he was closer with my uncle and cousins, but it’s like we didn’t even know the same man. Reading how kind and generous he was is surreal when my core memory of this man is him forcibly grabbing me, a then pre-school age child, by my shoulders when I was upset and crying, being dragged in front of a mirror and him shouting “look how ugly you are when you cry!”.

Like idk if it was bc I was the youngest, the only girl, bc I lost interest in sports as I got older, or bc I wasn’t the child of his golden kid (my uncle), but I was never close and never had a good impression of my paternal grandfather. I know I’m ND and sometimes struggle with emotions, and I remember feeling so out of place and wrong for being 16 and not at all upset or even crying at his funeral, while my cousins could barely keep it together, but damn. “Loving and generous” we did not know the same grandfather.