#•dodgevents

[metropolitianmania]

sometimes i want to violate my own moral code to get people to pay attention to me the way i pay attention to them

[metropolitianmania]

sometimes i feel so disconnected to my peers because i never really got to experience the internet the way they did. i’m 18 and yet despite having access to the internet for 7 years, i still feel like the little kid on the playground, trying to fit in with my peers who got to play FNAF together and watch youtube and cartoons whenever they liked while I had to wait until my dad left to coach baseball to watch cartoons, and even then, nothing i liked was cool.

i didn’t grow up on social media and now i can’t even look at people my age without feeling stupid.

how dare I stay bound to physical media in this digital world.

i wish i wasn’t born in a poor, abusive home. i wish i got to go to birthday parties and the mall with my friends and not have my social media surveilled (even though it was my fault that happened). i wish the kids that called me their friend didn’t bully me the way they did. i wish i could’ve been normal to my peers. God. i miss how abundant life felt when i was 7 years old.

[metropolitianmania]

literally losing my mind what the fuck

[metropolitianmania]

woah i did not sign up to wake up and wishing I could fix everything until I puked

[metropolitianmania]

sometimes I want to believe I’m a good person but then I have a differing opinion that gets slammed with a fact that makes me feel morally inferior and I have a full on breakdown

[metropolitianmania]

i don’t reply right away (didn’t get the messages for a bit) and suddenly i dread going to the house (it’s not a home if i don’t feel safe)