#“your test results are good you shouldn't be having symptoms”

[dollsandmasks]

You know that moment where you have a crumb of free time and you could be writing, you could be finishing that fic, you could be catching up with your friends, you could take out your sketchbook and draw the most self-indulgent things, you could at least be reading or watching something interesting, but you happen to have a minor task that you don't want to do, your body is slightly uncomfortable from typical body things and your work has been a bit stressful today, so now you are in a restless scrolling more and opening the same three social media apps hoping that something will give you that hit and send your brain in motion and make you either work on tasks or do something fun.

Why am I procrastinating making a single phone call, and then doing fun things forever.

[andhumanslovedstories]

hey here's another question that I've been thinking about for about a week with no particular breakthrough. I'm so much on the healthcare side that all my advice is on that side. Dude, I read academic articles for this and didn't come up with anything particularly useful. That's why I'm answering this publicly, so other people hopefully add something useful. (Also I know you said you're not looking for opioids. I'm gonna talk about opioids anyway they certainly affect perceptions of chronic pain. In your case, try making clear early on that you don't want opioids.)

I'll say some things that I've noticed from my work to maybe provide some insight into healthcare's side of the exchange. I'm not saying this is the way things should be, I'm giving advice based on how I see things are. I wish I could say this wasn't the case, but when there's a pain medication standoff, the two ways I've seen it work out best for a patient are:

A third party advocates for the patient. (like family, nurse, social worker, different specialist, patient advocate, etc)

Change in caregiver.

I don't like those as the top answers, but that's what I've seen and it's consistent with a lot of the accounts I encountered. There is also a third way that the pain medication standoff can quickly end in a patient's favor:

3. New evidence (new symptom, imaging, vital signs, lab test, etc) forces a reexamination of how we're thinking about the patient.

This is also the "oh shit they seem worse" method, but it can also be "we have gained new information that re-contextualizes the information we already knew." This is like hey the xray came back, your whole bone is dust, or hey your blood pressure is now significantly higher, or hey oops your appendix exploded.

In all three cases, something new happens to change the dynamic. This works for healthcare providers operating in good faith because someone comes in fresh and/or the new dynamic causes the healthcare team to do a new assessment and cost/benefit analysis with this updated information. This works for healthcare providers operating in bad faith because they are either removed from the situation or put in a position where giving pain medication is less onerous than not giving pain medication. I genuinely, genuinely believe far more healthcare employees are operating in good faith rather than bad faith, although the end results can look the same from the patient side. This means I think that far more people are swayed by additional information that makes pain management have more benefit and less cost.

I don't know how actionable any of this is from the patient side unfortunately. I don't love being like "my advice? wait till shift change, see if you can shake it up." Bring someone to the emergency department with you if you have someone available, preferably someone prepared to make a fuss on your behalf. If you don't have a third person, see if you can get one. Hospitals can have patient advocate as a job. If they aren't available, is there someone on your healthcare team that seems most sympathetic? Try asking them if they have any advice. They might be able to give you some, they might advocate for you. Be careful about badmouthing staff to other staff and avoid compliments to one member of the team that relies on insulting another member. You don't know the relationships at play, and it's sort of like how you shouldn't trash talk your old job when interviewing for a new job. You may be completely right in everything you're saying, but being like "my boss was a crazy asshole who refused to recognize my work," doesn't come off as objective. It can undercut your credibility and introduce hostility into the conversation where it is not productive.

I'd also be prepared to talk about what you already tried to relieve the pain. Again, with you I'd mention upfront that you don't want opioids because they don't work for you. Then say what you have already tried at home before you came in (tylenol, ibpurofen, heating, ice, exercises, stretching, shower, other meds, etc) and the effect of both the pain (can't sleep, makes you nauseated, had to call off sick from work, aren't able to be a caregiver to someone, etc) and your already attempted interventions (no significant pain control, symptoms got worse, called PCP, they said emergency was the next step, etc). If your condition is chronic, compare it on the pain scale and the functionality scale to your baseline. (i.e. "I'm always at least a 3 out of ten on the pain scale, but it doesn't usually leave me bedbound." "Normally Symptom improves after Intervention At Home, but that didn't work this time.") Something that can make providers hesitant is if opioids, benzos, or other powerful drugs are the first and only thing a patient says will help and they're unwilling to try anything else, so sometimes demonstrating flexibility with your pain plan can signal "I'm not here for oxy to sell, I'm here because I want my symptoms to stop (and, if relevant, figure out what is causing them)."

Also if you can and feel safe doing so, consider providing feedback to the hospital. Nothing changes without something documented.

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」 Asclepius Edition (Translation)

Asclepius: So you've come huh, Master? As expected of my patron. 

.............................

Asclepius: Alright, it seems we've arrived at our destination.

As the supervisor for this bounty, or should I say, treasure hunt, I expect that you have the courage to accompany me.

With this heat, and this environment, I wonder what kind of wonderful diseases, and the Holy Grail is waiting for me. I'm very much looking forward to it. 

Jason: Hey~ can you hear me? Oh! So you're there, Master! I'll be your support for today! So you should thank and venerate me! 

Asclepius: Sigh... Oh right, that's the case. Since everyone in Chaldea's support team is busy working on something else, he volunteered himself to do this. 

Jason: That's right! Just tell me if you feel like riding a huge ship right now! 

Asclepius: It's all land out here though, did you volunteer just to say that?

Jason: No, I didn't! Absolutely not! Well, whatever. First things first, head to the big city about 5 kilometers from here. A response from the Holy Grail is coming from that direction. Alright! You guys! It's time to depart!

.............................

Asclepius: It's quite the lively town, huh. This seems like it could result in all sorts of ailments. Come on, Master, hurry and find a patient!

Guda: Asclepius, this is bad!

Asclepius: T-this is...!!! You're telling me that you woke up this morning and found that your shark-rough dry skin has worsened and you've become a real shark?! Hey, tell me when did the symptoms start? Did you have any fever? Answer me quickly and accurately!

I see. That is quite interesting indeed. Here, take this Anti-Shark Head Remedy. If you rest for a while, then there shouldn't be any problems. Well then, my next patient is waiting so I'll excuse myself. Take care of yourself.

Jason! Where's the next patient's response coming from? 

Jason: Hey, hurry and look for the Holy Grail already! The reaction from the Holy Grail is coming from inside the temple in this town. Now that I've told you where it is, I’m going to take a break! And with that, I'll leave the rest to you, Asclepius! 

Asclepius: Sigh... Good grief, what a capricious captain. Anyway, let's head for the temple. It's this way. 

Guda: Huh? An oasis...?

Asclepius: What are you doing? Hurry up and sit right here. Hm. Well, it’s no surprise you’re shocked. You're probably wondering why there’s no Holy Grail and no enemies, right? This is all arranged by the Chaldea staff. They wanted to show their appreciation for your hard work, so I accepted the task of bringing you here. Taking care of the Master’s health is also part of my job after all.

Master, you’ve been working hard for humanity and its peaceful future. But if you ever find yourself struggling because you’ve pushed yourself too hard, and find it truly difficult, let me know. I promise I’ll use my medical skills to save you without fail. Do you understand?

Guda: Thank you, Asclepius!

Asclepius: What, I just said what any reputable doctor will say. In any case, you seem healthy at the moment. But since this is a good opportunity, let’s do a check-up. 

Have you noticed any changes in your health recently? Your temperature... is normal. Hmm, it looks like there’s no issue. Well then, I’d like you to be a test subject for this newly formulated medicine I've prepared. Now, give me your arm. Even if it hurts and you want to cry out, just bear with it until we know how this medicine works.

Heh. Looks like the hypnotic effect is starting to work. Master, make sure to rest well. Take care of yourself, okay?

[weezly14]

so i used to use this more as a blog where i talked about my life and my feelings and there's been both a lot and nothing happening in my life lately but i sure do have feelings! so i'm gonna write it down and send vibes into the universe because why not. what else do i have to do today?

i've been a little MIA in terms of working on my fics. i've barely written. first it was a rough fucking winter; then summer kicked my ass just as bad. i hate summer.

"but why has it been rough?"

well, because i'm not fucking pregnant yet.

we've been trying for a baby (i hate this phrase) for ten months? ish? and nothing has happened. in school they made it sound like you skip protection once and you'll get knocked up; my mom got accidentally pregnant twice. and here i am, charting dates and peeing on ovulation predictor sticks and tracking symptoms and the whole nine yards, timing sex and taking fucking prenatals and vitamins and not eating sushi or steak during the two week wait and not drinking at all, and all i've gotten to show for it is my fucking period, every month like clockwork.

the studies say, it can take up to a year. yes, most couples get pregnant within six months, but sometimes it takes longer. sure, fine, whatever.

so it's been hard enough trying to get pregnant and then failing (because it does feel like failing, every time), but then two things happened in quick succession:

my best friend got pregnant, sort of accidentally;

i got sent for bloodwork and the results caused my doctor to refer me straight to a fertility clinic.

when i saw the results i cried, but i thought i was just spiraling and being over dramatic. sure, my AMH is really low, but it's technically still in range, and that's not everything, right? my other tests were mostly fine, not totally out of the normal range. then i called my doctor's office, only to be told "we're referring you to a clinic, your ob/gyn doesn't think you'll get pregnant without treatment."

it's a hell of a thing to be told while standing in the pasta aisle of a grocery store.

in the midst of being referred to the clinic, i of course googled. read articles and papers. cried to my husband, my mom, my friends. of course the clinic was booking weeks out; in three weeks i'll go for my first appointment. my mom said, well maybe now you'll get pregnant. it happens, you know - people struggle and then as soon as they get booked to see a specialist, or start IVF, they get pregnant.

my period started over the weekend. it was not a good time.

the thing about trying for a baby is that every month is the same fucking rollercoaster, only you can't get off, and despite knowing exactly how it'll go, it's still somehow traumatic every time. every cycle there's the devastation when your period starts, followed by the hopeful/planning mode of "let me now track ovulation, let's chart out when we need to have sex." then there's the actual sex - trying to still have fun with it as opposed to the clinical "literally all we need is for you to finish," though sometimes it is just the quickie before work or after dinner because it's Fertile Week and we need to optimize our chances so it doesn't matter if it's not very romantic, we can have romantic sex later. after that it's the waiting game, the two weeks of overanalyzing every ache, every twinge, of looking up expected due dates and thinking about how to announce to family and friends, of hoping and thinking that maybe you are actually pregnant - all followed by the two, three days leading up to your period where every trip to the bathroom has the potential to devastate. where every pms symptom is enough to set off a fresh round of tears until your period actually starts. i've stopped taking pregnancy tests early. the stark white negatives (or rude NO - on the digital tests) was too much for me to handle in my already hormonal, pms state.

it hasn't been a year, which makes me feel like i shouldn't be so upset already. on the other hand, my egg reserve is apparently incredibly low - that is, i'm rapidly running out of eggs, and who knows if the ones i've got are even any good. in three weeks we'll see a fertility specialist, and based on my extensive research and trolling on reddit and listening to podcasts, i'm fairly confident they're going to tell us it's IVF or bust.

because i'm running out of eggs, for reasons that might not exist, or might just be "sometimes things just suck for certain people." some people get a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility," which basically means the doctors have run every test and there's no reason you can't get pregnant. we aren't in that camp, we're likely in the "diminished ovarian reserve" camp. for reasons that are unexplained.

meanwhile, my best friend is pregnant, and i can't talk to her without crying.

we moved into a bigger house a year ago in preparation for kids. we got our finances in order, we made sure our marriage was solid, we planned - and now? we've always wanted two, maybe three. at this point i think we'll be lucky to get one. maybe i'm being pessimistic. i'm trying to be confident but also realistic. IVF doesn't work for everyone. even my clinic, which has the best numbers in the state, has a 63% success rate. sounds great, and it is - but that's 37% of couples who don't go home with a baby. nationally, the outcomes are something like 50ish% of IVF cycles will result in a live birth (they measure by both pregnancy and live birth, because even if you've managed to get pregnant, there's no guarantee you'll stay pregnant.)

today is a good day, by the way. today i can talk to my mom, i can call up our insurance, i can write this and be factual and calm and not crying. today i feel like we have a good chance, like we will end up with a take home baby. today i'm cleaning my house and looking up meal plans to increase my fertility. exercise regimens to help me get in shape to increase my fertility. tomorrow might be a bad day. bad days are when i can barely get off the couch, where i cry at the thought or mention of my fertility. where a tiktok of a dad and baby sends me spiraling. when it all feels fucking useless and unfair.

today is a good day. i don't know what tomorrow's going to be yet.

i've been isolating all summer, which isn't hard to do when most of my friends aren't local. but i find i don't want to be around anyone, really. i don't want to talk to people. i don't want to be asked how i'm doing, i don't want to be asked what's new or what i've been up to.

"i've been cleaning my house and trying to get pregnant and failing. last week i made a new recipe, and today i cried."

it's not an exciting life i'm leading these days. and anyway, no one wants to hear about fertility struggles.

it's not that i'm too stressed. i don't need to go on vacation, or get drunk and have sex, or relax and then i'll get pregnant. sure, i could use a vacation, but that's not the magic ticket. the problem isn't lack of sex. i have depression; the stress is always there, but that's why i see my therapist and my psychiatrist. that's why i take my meds and do my self-soothing shit.

i'm not pregnant because i'm just not. and hopefully the specialist will have a plan and hopefully that plan has a more than 30% chance of succeeding, and hopefully we get to bring a baby home - but today? today i'm not pregnant, and it's not a guarantee that i ever will be.

so even though today is a good day, i'm still really fucking sad.

but, you know. i'm trying to have hope.

that, too, is a cycle.

[georgemathew8899]

What You Need to Know about Female Infertility

Infertility is a condition wherein the couples can't conceive a baby successfully inside a period of one year even with frequent sexual activity. The vast majority who have this condition wind up breaking their marriages especially when the condition is just affecting one sexual partner.

Be that as it may, couples shouldn't worry about infertility regardless of whether it is male or female infertility. Women with infertility issues get through the most difficult time since they become the center of ridicule. The good news is you can undoubtedly treat female Infertility inasmuch as a patient is really taking advantage of the medications given by a doctor.

It is important to note that there are such countless reasons regarding why a woman might develop infertility issues with ovulation problems leading the way. One such issue traces back to ovulation. For a woman to get pregnant the ovaries should produce and release eggs, a process commonly referred to as ovulation. Assuming that this process fails to occur, you can't get pregnant regardless of what number times you try. Ovulation problems can be as a result of hormone imbalance, eating disorders, drug abuse, stress just to list yet a few.

Damaged fallopian tubes can likewise be the reason behind your infertility problem. Eggs released by men and women meet at the fallopian tube for a woman to conceive. When the fallopian tubes are not in good condition, it becomes difficult for the two eggs to meet. This, thus, prevents fertilization from occurring subsequently causing infertility.

Abnormal cervical mucus can likewise be the reason behind female infertility. This is especially the case when sperms can't penetrate through the female egg or even penetrate inside the eggs. It always pays off to have a word with your healthcare supplier to better determine the reason behind your infertility problem.

The principal symptom of infertility is inability to get pregnant even subsequent to having unprotected sexual activity. However, there are different signs and symptoms of female infertility, for example, having a longer menstrual cycle, short menstrual cycle, and lack of ovulation

In any case, female infertility ought to never be the reason behind your stress issues. All things considered, there are so many treatment methods that can help get rid of this condition for the last time. Make certain to plan a visit to your doctor when you notice any symptom of female Infertility. Your doctor will perform various tests to determine the real reason behind your infertility.

[ediagnocareservice0]

ECG test service at home: Convenience and Peace of Mind for Your Heart Health

Fitting doctor appointments into a busy schedule can be tough. And for some people, the clinical setting itself can cause anxiety, making a simple ECG test feel overwhelming. That's where ECG test service at home comes in. This convenient option allows you to get a valuable heart health assessment from the comfort of your own home.

When is ECG test service at home Right for You?

ECG test service at home isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. Here are some situations where it might be a good fit:

Limited Mobility: If you have difficulty getting around, an at-home ECG test eliminates the need to travel to a clinic or hospital.

Anxiety in Clinical Settings: Some people experience anxiety in clinical settings. At-home testing allows you to complete the test in a familiar and relaxing environment.

Preventive Care: If you're concerned about your heart health but don't have any specific symptoms, a convenient at-home ECG test can be a proactive step.

However, it's important to note that ECG test service at home also has some limitations:

Need for Proper Training: A technician will visit your home to perform the test, but proper training is crucial for accurate results. Ediagno prioritizes qualified technicians to ensure a reliable testing experience.

Potential for Inconclusive Results: Sometimes, factors like improper electrode placement or excessive movement can lead to inconclusive results. In such cases, a follow-up test in a controlled environment may be necessary.

The Benefits of At-ECG test service at home with Ediagno

Ediagno offers a seamless ECG test service at home experience with several advantages:

Convenience: Schedule your test at a time that fits your busy schedule. A qualified technician will visit your home to perform the test.

Comfort: Relax in the familiar surroundings of your own home, eliminating clinic anxiety.

Fast Results: Receive your ECG results quickly and easily through a secure online portal.

Doctor Support: Ediagno can connect you with a doctor to review your results and discuss any next steps.

How Does ECG test service at home Work with Ediagno?

Here's a quick overview of the at-ECG test service at home process with Ediagno:

Schedule Your Test: Visit Ediagno's website or call them to schedule an appointment for at-home ECG testing.

The Test: A qualified technician will visit your home at the scheduled time. They will explain the procedure and answer any questions you may have. The ECG itself is a painless process that involves attaching electrodes to your chest and limbs to record your heart's electrical activity.

Receive Your Results: Once the test is complete, the technician will send the data to a qualified professional for analysis. You will receive your results electronically within a short timeframe, usually within 24 hours.

Doctor Consultation: Ediagno can connect you with a doctor to review your results and discuss any follow-up recommendations.

At-ECG test service at home offers a convenient and accessible way to monitor your heart health. If you're considering this option, Ediagno provides a reliable and efficient service with qualified technicians and secure online results.

Peace of Mind for Your Heart Health

Taking charge of your heart health is essential. An ECG test service at home with Ediagno empowers you to do just that. Whether you have concerns about your heart health or simply want a proactive approach to well-being, this convenient option provides valuable insights from the comfort of your own home.

Remember, early detection is key when it comes to heart health issues. If you experience any concerning symptoms like chest pain, shortness of breath, or heart palpitations, consult a doctor immediately. At-ECG test service at home is a valuable tool, but it shouldn't replace professional medical advice.

[shr0mwzrd]

And if you have POTS or some other conditions, you may need significantly more salt than other people!

I don't have an official diagnosis yet bc the *intake* appointment with my cardiologist was scheduled like 6 months out from when I called and is still yet to occur, let alone the tilt-table test specifically ordered by a cardiologist which is needed for concrete diagnosis 😅 but based on my symptoms, my primary doctor is pretty sure I have POTS. Some of the main symptoms I have which relate to this are lightheadedness and/or dizziness (esp when going from sitting to standing or moving around a lot (thus the 'Postural Orthostatic part)), fatigue, brain fog, muscle cramping, and irritable/inconsistent bowels. One of the main diagnostic criteria for POTS is a heart rate increase of 30 BPM or more within a minute or two of standing, which I have had confirmed at my general doctor by having my pulse taken immediately after walking from the waiting room to the exam room and then again A few minutes after I had been seated again - you can easily recreate this basic test at home!

All this to say, if you have a POTS diagnosis or experience most/all of the above symptoms, it's likely that your salt needs are higher than average!

There's a good way to test for this at home as well! Obviously we should all strive to get water and electrolytes generally, but if you find yourself particularly lightheaded one day, you can do the Salt Test. Basically, get your little salt shaker/container, pour a tiny little pinch (we're talking like small fractions of a teaspoon here) into your free hand, and then lick it all up at once. If you have enough salt, then the salt will taste...salty lol. BUT!!! Crucially, if you're LOW on salt, then those little licks will taste almost savory - definitely a pleasant taste and not "oh yeah I just put straight up salt in my mouth." If a tiny lick of salt tastes really yummy, you just basically keep doing those small licks until it stops tasting yummy and starts tasting like "just salt" - the transition between the last two licks you take will be very noticable. It's ESSENTIAL that you take water before and after this as well for proper absorption and hydration. All that being said, doing this has definitely made a lot of dizzy days significantly better for me VERY fast, and as a result I started taking 1000mg salt pills every day with my morning meds / breakfast, which has made a huge deal in how often I get particularly bad dizzy spikes!

So yeah, everybody please hydrate and get your electrolytes! And for those of us who have or might have POTS or similar conditions, I would strongly recommend doing a bit of research / consult with your general practitioner about increasing your salt intake! Doing the Salt Test as described above really shouldn't have any major health implications if you try it once or twice just to see or have to do it occasionally (1-3 times a week maybe) to help with lightheadedness, but I would advise everyone to make sure they're sure before significantly altering their salt intake, as that can have negative effects of you have a significantly higher salt intake than you need.

Stay safe and stay hydrated!

it's incredible how much better I feel now that I've had a gatorade

[imaginesforjohnnydepp]

Wait, What???

tw: MENTIONS OF PREGNANCY, BLOOD, SEX

One early October morning, Sidney found herself in the waiting room of her doctor's office, waiting for her name to be called as she played a word game on her phone. No one knew she was here; she told Nick that she was tying up loose ends from the wedding, but Sidney had a feeling that her mom knew what she was really up to. Nothing gets past Simone Severin. Today, Sidney was getting some blood work done for possible signs of pregnancy, she was experiencing all of the symptoms: morning (all day) sickness, fatigue, weird cravings. She took a pregnancy test a week ago and it came back positive but Sidney just chalked it up as a false positive, so she wanted a second opinion.

She looked up when the door to the waiting room opened, and a short woman with an iPad walked through. The lady looked up and her eyes landed on Sidney. "Sidney? Dr. Landry is ready for you." Sidney gathered her purse and followed the receptionist to a door with marked with the number 3 and opened the door. "She went to take a personal call but she should be with you shortly." With that, the woman walked out, closing the door behind her and Sidney was alone once again.

She started to worry: was it too early to have a baby? Of course they wanted to have kids, but they wanted to wait at least a year. They'd just hit the two month mark, and Nick would be on tour with his brothers until the middle of next year, which would be the entire pregnancy. The door opened again and Dr. Landry poked her head in the door.

"Good morning Sidney! So according to your chart you're getting some bloodwork done, correct?" Sidney nodded, a tight-lipped smile on her face. Dr. Landry had a knowing look in her eyes about the real reason the young woman wanted a blood test; she's also been in Sidney's position before as a patient wanting a pregnancy test. "Okay, let's get you started." The older woman went through the drawers in the room, pulling out needles, alcohol wipes and other equipment before instructing Sidney to make a fist before putting the needle in her arm.

Sidney watched as the blood went through the plastic tube and drip into the syringe and Dr. Landry gently pulled the needle from the vein and replaced it with a cotton pad and a bandage. "There! All done. If you want, you can either wait for the results or I can give you a call in a few days. It shouldn't take longer than a few hours. Two at most." "I don't mind waiting."

The doctor looked at her more closely. "Sidney, was this a pregnancy test by any chance?" Sidney nodded again, hiding her face in a curtain of her dark hair. She absolutely loves Dr. Landry; the two have known each other since Sidney was fourteen. They've covered birth control, sex, periods. Nothing was off limits, and Sidney never felt embarrassed. "I just wanted to be absolutely sure. I did one of those home pregnancy tests and it turned out positive but I just wanted a second opinion."

She listed all her symptoms and the weird cravings and Dr. Landry took note of everything on an iPad. "It definitely does sound like pregnancy, but I can tell just by looking at you. Your face is a little bit fuller than the last time I saw you." Sidney had a questioning look on her face at that, because Dr. Landry followed that up by saying, "I've been around this block before, as a patient and as a doctor. Moms always know. When I was pregnant with my first, before I even started telling people, I was meeting my mother for lunch and before I could even properly greet her, she asked me what colors I thought would look good in a nursery."

Sidney left a few minutes later, hoping to pass the time in Barnes and Noble where she updated her membership status and browsed for books, and the time just flew by. She was sitting at a table in the Starbucks, twenty pages into her newest read when her phone started ringing. Dr. Landry with the test results. "Hello?" The doctor's next sentence was enough for Sidney to drop to the floor. "Congratulations Mrs. Jonas."

[samsaraandbeyond]

OC Introduction: Zin

Art drawn by Teh-Ray  

"Everything's going according to plan, my liege."

Design

Zin's first design, Art drawn by Teh-Ray

Zin was a mess. His original design was so close to the Morpher's that I simply gave him small differences from the default and a little cloak.

It didn't feel special enough to me even though I have a character that isn't too different from his default (though I find Ravio's more acceptable because his cape and crowns are more distinguishable and unique) so I thought "more raptor" would help, and it did!

Abilities / Traits

The (Mad?) Biologist

Professor (Disgaea 7)

Zin truly knows the INS AND OUTS of the living body; every pressure point, vital organ, and growths your insides shouldn't have. His expertise in the medical field enables him to perform life-saving surgeries, modify and enhance the genetic structures of his patients...

Or, y'know, just experiment on people.

"I assure you, my friend, zis procedure von't sting at all." - Zin

Expert Magic Mastery

Robin (Fire Emblem)

From black magic, white magic, illusions, geomancy, time magic, shapeshifting, teleportation, to summoning, Zin has knowledge of them all.

Despite knowing a wide variety of spells, Zin excels at support and healing magic; which aids in his medical skills listed above.

"Did you think me helpless? Hahahahahahaaaa, how horrible this vill turn out for you." - Zin

Adept Fighter

Jin (Tekken)

The magic ain't working, you gotta kick their ass.

Zin has mastered various hand-to-hand fighting techniques, including styles that implement the usage of knives and other bladed weapons.

"Zis vill be a test of your reflexes." - Zin

First Aid Specialist

Healing magic off the table? He can work with what she has.

Zin is educated in the ways of the organic body. He has knowledge of various diseases, poisons, their symptoms, knows the proper procedures for tending to a variety of injuries and conditions, and can improvise solutions should proper tools not be available.

"Zere! Good as new. Don't go undoing my handivork now, alright?" - Zin

Personality

A caring advisor overall, Zin has a tendency to let his curiosity get the best of him. He may let the possibility of learning something new take priority over someone's personal safety. Zin refers to the most basic of things as "tests" or "experiments" if he thinks there may be something to get out of it.

While he isn't socially inept, he may perform various "tests" on people to see how they react to his actions for his own personal research, such as acting or speaking differently, asking them out of left field questions, or giving them objects to see what they would do with them.

"What an interesting result. I'll add zis to my process later." - Zin

Backstory

To be added...

"Surely you can vait until later? Many things can happen in ze meantime." - Zin

[fluffydisneyprincess]

So I was diagnosed with a kidney disease last year and never talked about it

I'm just gonna ramble out the whole story here because I think I need to.

So two years ago I go in to my doctor because of chronic fatigue. I could sleep for HOURS and still be fighting to stay awake when I got up. Sometimes I'd wake up feeling energized and would crash in an hour or two anyway. My doctor could have easily just dismissed me. I have depression/anxiety. I'm a little overweight. He could have just said there's a number of things causing it. Instead he trusted me that I knew something was off and he sent me for tests.

The tests come back and things were mostly normal except two significant pieces of information. The first, this is exactly how he said it, "You aren’t anemic.... yet." I don't know why but I still find it funny. The second was some protein in my urine test. I hadn't been sick in months and didn't have any symptoms of a UTI so that shouldn't have been happening.

More testing. I was actually visiting my best friend in Oklahoma when I got the call about the results. This time he found something in my blood that usually acts as a marker for a rheumatoid issue. People do have it without having rheumatism but I had slightly higher levels of it. He was worried about Lupus and so I was referred to a Rheumetologist. Naturally having your PCP tell you he's concerned about Lupus is um... not good. I didn't handle it well.

Fast forward and I'm feeling silly sitting in a Rheumetologist's office. I had no outward symptoms of anything rheumatoid. No pain or weakness or anything. But the protein bothered the doctor, so more tests were ordered. This went on for a few months with the doctor getting more and more frustrated because that one factor aside I was perfectly healthy. All my other levels were normal. (I have to admit it was both amusing and terrifying to watch. I'd never seen a doctor so stumped but it also meant I wasn't getting answers.) Finally, he decides to refer me to a Nephrologist. A kidney doctor.

It went on for a short while with the kidney doctor and rheumatologist going back and forth as the protein continued to show up in my tests at an alarming level. Neither had a clue. So finally the kidney doctor said he wanted me to have a kidney biopsy done.

If you've never had a kidney biopsy, just imagine being punched really hard in the kidney. Twice. Only I was lucky and they didn't get enough of a sample on one of the tries and I got THREE punches. There was pain medication but maybe I wasn't taking to it as well because the nurse looked really confused when I was showing signs of pain. And continued to be in pain for the next two to three days.

It was a few weeks after the biopsy before I finally got a call about results. IgA Nephropathy. From the way I understand it basically my kidneys weren't working the way they should and weren't filtering properly.

Fun fact: If you try to look up info on IgA Nephropathy one of the first questions to come up is about life expectancy. 🙃 That wasn't terrifying at all. I forced myself to look further and even dared searching that one particular suggestion. With proper treatment and management most people with it live long happy lives but beyond that I found... almost nothing.

They don't know what causes it. They don't know know if it's preventable. It's apparently the most common of that particular type of kidney disease, but I couldn’t find how common that type of disease was. Which led me to the incredibly frustrating reality that I'm in now.

There is nothing I can do. Sure, cutting back on salt and drinking plenty of water is good for your kidneys overall, but as far as my specific disease goes there's nothing. No change in my diet or lifestyle will slow down its progression. The literal only thing I can do is exactly what my doctor says. As of my last appointment my levels were going up again so in about two weeks I have to get testing done again. Right now the doctor is trying to avoid putting me on something that would leave me immunocompromised, but it's not off the table.

Because you know what happens if the disease progresses far enough? Kidney failure.

And, as an added bonus I still haven't explained to my mother, trying to have children *will* speed up the progression of the disease on top of what would already be a complicated and high risk pregnancy. Guess who isn't playing with those odds.

So, yeah. It's been hard to get off my mind lately. It's so fucked up that it was more random than a dice roll for me to wind up with this and yet-- here we are. To say it's not been good for the mental health is an understatement.

[servies13]

Six Signs of a Faulty Ignition Switch

The most bizarre electrical problems in your car can be caused by a faulty ignition switch. Here's how to identify a bad ignition switch.

Since every electronic component in your vehicle is literally powered by the ignition switch, it is a crucial component of your car.

Consequently, you can also comprehend that any issue with this tiny component has the potential to have a major impact on your car.

If your car won't start, search online for car repair garages near me and book it in as soon as you can. The most common symptoms of a broken ignition switch are an engine that won't start or one that stalls while you're driving. Additionally, a flickering instrument cluster or an ignition that keeps running after the key is removed are both tell-tale signs that something is amiss.

It's a highly intelligent piece of technology that needs to be updated and enhanced frequently to maintain the security of your car. But what occurs if the ignition switch malfunctions? Let's investigate!

These are the most typical symptoms of a faulty ignition switch that you might experience. Here is a list of the most typical signs of a malfunctioning ignition switch in greater detail:

Vehicle Will Not Start - Two things should happen when you turn the key in the ignition to start the car. The ignition should be turned on as the initial step. The ignition should still be on when you turn the key a little bit more, but the starter motor should also be signalled to turn by the ignition switch.When you turn the key, an electrical component inside the ignition switch connects electrical circuits. Your vehicle won't start at all if either of these two phases is absent or if this tiny component is worn out. This may result in the starter being entirely dead or in the starter turning the engine without starting it. It is advised to  MOT status of your car and have a pre-MOT health check done so that the mechanic may correct any defective parts before the MOT test, preventing a test failure.

Car Stalls When Driving - As previously said, the very same thing applies here: if the ignition switch has a poor connection, the ignition may cut off when it shouldn't. If this happens, your automobile may abruptly cut off when you're driving, and the quickest way to figure this out is to glance at your dashboard. There is a good chance that your ignition switch is broken if the entire dashboard lights go out along with the car's motor. Look online for garages in Reading and make an appointment for your car so that the issue may be thoroughly investigated and fixed by a qualified mechanic before it reaches the point where it won't start at all.

Flickering Dashboard or Other Accessories - The lights on your dashboard or other electrical devices within your car may be blinking or randomly turning on and off, which is another issue you might notice. This indicates that the connection plate of the ignition switch is damaged, which may be the result of corrosion or wear. The ignition switch must be replaced because this problem is frequently unfixable. Fortunately, you may frequently just replace the ignition switch rather than the entire ignition lock. A failed MOT will come from any dashboard warning lights that indicate a safety risk. If you want to know if this was the case in the past with your car, search ‘car repairs’ online.

Ignition is Always On - If you drove your car and then turned off the ignition, only to find that it was still running when you withdrew the key, this is likely the result of a faulty ignition switch. Though it is uncommon, it is possible that this will occur. The vehicle will still function without the keys in the ignition if the immobiliser is unlocked once because it won't need to identify the key again until the engine is restarted.

Key Won't Turn Ignition On - In this case, even though the key can be entered and rotates inside the ignition barrel, the ignition will not turn on. This would be a sign of a bad ignition switch as long as the car's battery has enough charge. In some ignition switches, the electrical component on the key barrel's back can be replaced separately from the barrel itself. It's more typical for the ignition switch to be supplied as a whole, though.

Key Won't Turn - Keys with more cylindrically shaped blade designs frequently have this problem. The groves and notches smooth out and round off with time. This makes it impossible for the key to insert the numerous pins inside the barrel in the proper positions. The key won't spin if the pins aren't placed correctly. Again, this is a flaw that frequently gets worse over time, so if you find that the key blade is rounded, try to get a car key replacement company to make you a new one as soon as you can.

What the Ignition Switch Does

Two main parts make up the ignition switch. The mechanical and electronic both exist.

The key barrel—which, of course, does not apply to a keyless start system—is the mechanical component of the ignition switch. The key barrel operates similarly to every other key barrel on a lock. The grooves and notches in the blade of your key are used to force a number of pins into position. You can turn the ignition on with your key when it has been inserted and all of the pins have been pulled into position.

When you turn the key in the ignition lock, some electrical circuits in the electrical parts link. For instance, when the ignition is turned on, two connectors are connected, and this sends electricity to the ignition relay, which ignites the majority of the vehicle's components.

Location of the Ignition Switch

Typically, the ignition switch is found behind the ignition lock cylinder, in which you insert your car key.

It is frequently necessary to remove every cover on the steering wheel and dismantle the entire ignition lock cylinder in order to access the ignition switch.

In some car types, the ignition switch can be taken out of the ignition barrel, albeit occasionally it is an incorporated component.

[greatlandsweets]

Meet the Steve Jobs of the what is thc weed Industry

The Buzz on Cbd Isolate May Reduce Symptoms And Progression Of

Table of ContentsThe smart Trick of Cannabidiol Inhibits Sars-cov-2 Replication That Nobody is Talking AboutLittle Known Questions About Structure Of Cannabidiol, A Product Isolated From The.

steer clear of THC (co to thc). Likewise, if you organize on taking large doses, an isolate might permit you to accomplish so without worrying regarding an enhanced threat of side results from THC - delta 9 thc. With plenty of excellent CBD items available, just how performed we limit down our selections? These collections were actually produced based on requirements we presume are great clues of protection, quality, as well as openness - how to use thc powder. Here are some traits to think about when purchasing the right one for you: Opting for the kind of CBD product you're

gon na buy is actually the enjoyable part! There is actually a significant broad globe of CBD as well as a lot of possibilities to pick from, featuring gummies, capsules, oils, lotions, ointments, as well as extra. If you prefer full-body impacts, an ingestible product like an oil, gummy, or pill could be the technique to go. These are actually sweet due to the fact that they are actually pre-dosed (maremol). They are actually a really good alternative if you do not really want to swallow a tablet - what is thc?.

All you need to have to perform is consume it as well as you're performed. Just bear in mind that it takes a bit for these to start given that you need to absorb the gummy. These are actually also pre-dosed and very easy to take. If there are a bunch of issues, it's finest to guide clear! Explore where the CBD is stemming from. Choosing U.S (how to extract thc isolate).-grown hemp is a great concept, due to farming laws in the United States. Look at, also, the kind of hemp used to create the product. Try to find items that are actually used the bloom, certainly not the stalk or stem, of the hemp plant. No testing is actually a major dealbreaker. How do you understand if an item's been evaluated? Appear for an up-to-date COA (it shouldn't be additional

than a year aged), and check that the product is actually evaluated for pollutants and contains what the provider claims it should (distillate vs isolate thc). When it comes to isolates, that implies no THC. Yum! Apply directly to the damaged place.(PSA: Do not consume CBD lotions or even lotions! )Take with water as driven. When it pertains to making use of CBD, your absolute best choice is to begin little. Start with a low dosage as well as little by little function your way around utilizing even more as needed. For isolate items especially, attempt beginning along with 25 mg and also slowly increasing from there - thc in wiet. Yes, CBD is commonly looked at to become safe. Some studies have actually even located it to be beneficial in managing specific health ailments, like epilepsy.

Much more research still needs to become done on CBD, its advantages, its safety, and any sort of achievable communications with various other medications or even drugs. It is actually likewise vital to always remember that CBD items aren't FDA-approved, implying their safety and effectiveness aren't ensured. wjat is thc. But available analysis performs recommend that full-spectrum items are actually a lot better for ache comfort than CBD isolate products. What that indicates for psychological health conditions our experts are actually certainly not actually certain, however this

boosted benefit could have something to perform with the entourage result. Nope. thc meanin. There is actually no THC in isolates, therefore you do not have to stress over coming to be reduced. While it is actually usually considered safe to use, CBD is not currently FDA-approved, as well as a lot more analysis is actually needed to have on its advantages and also safety. Search for trusted makers as well as items that use high quality ingredients as well as possess higher

All About Structure Of Cannabidiol, A Product Isolated From The

consumer complete satisfaction. If you possess inquiries or are taking every other drugs, talk along with a medical care specialist before making use of CBD. 656 mg/ml. If such an item were utilized at the highly recommended price of 1 ml dosage 3 dosages a day, a consumer could ingest more than 1 (what is isolate weed). 8 milligrams of THC in a time. While there is no all allowed standard of THC dosage, this degree could

begin to have unintentional effects, particularly for kids, the writers mentioned. Really handful of producers of CBD products that have trace amounts of THC agree to even point out that truth on the tag."These records accurately demonstrate that with the shortage of straightforward and precise label info mentioning a certain volume of delta 9-THC in the item through quantity, customers possess no option but to assume the existence of delta 9-THC in hemp-derived CBD products,"the analysts took note." Buyers are taking hemp-derived CBD products without recognizing the dangers of unintended usage of delta 9-THC. Whatever GMP observance methods labels have actually established is actually a solely voluntary proceed their component, as well as FDA is actually certainly not inspecting the facilities where these items are helped make." This record continues to show the critical demand for FDA to regulate hemp-derived products having CBD.

Without a regulative framework making certain CBD items are actually considered secure, adequately evaluated and also designated, as well as ready making use of Excellent Production Practices, consumers remain in danger of consuming not known quantities of THC or various other possibly harmful components,"Miller claimed. "While FDA problems activity, professing the firm remains in a'tie placement,'Our lawmakers possesses the opportunity to take matters into its own palms by passing regulations to create a governing process for CBD as a nutritional supplement or meals and also refreshment additive. is thc weed. The results may assist future study into prospective restorative actions for various other motor neurone health conditions. Jo Patterson, chief executive officer of Bod mentioned:"Our team are thrilled by this new research and also the invention of the mode of action of CBD in Parkinson's condition. This study even more supports Figure pharmaceutical cannabis medications

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Our team will certainly also check out methods of consumption, as this can have impressive influence on the effectiveness of CBD. As our company are going to find, full-spectrum CBD is more popular, and also once and for all cause, however isolate possesses particular perks that might attract various CBD consumers. The primary question is actually which develop offers

the most successful selection of clinical advantages for the customer. The two most common forms of removed CBD discovered in retail stores are full-spectrum( whole-plant remove )and true CBD isolate. Many customers prefer the full-spectrum possibility. As CBD's convenience for clinical purposes has ended up being much more accepted throughout the years, brand-new strategies of supplying it have remained to develop.

Several of the absolute most popular procedures include applying it sublingually, topically, or even taking it in capsules. delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol. Vaping cbd is pertained to by many to become the best bio-available way to provide, and as such, this has actually brought about a boost in the demand for CBD isolate. This type of CBD is actually various coming from full-spectrum CBD extraction in that it merely includes CBD and also none of the various other cannabinoids, terpenes, or even well-balanced fats that generally lead from the whole-plant extraction method. Lots of CBD isolate users are under the opinion that through taking in just the CBD cannabinoid and also no terpenes or every other "unnecessary"components of the plant, they are acquiring an extra effective or effective dosage of CBD - what is delta 9-thc. When vaping a CBD essence, which as stated formerly, is actually thought about to become the best efficient and also quick-acting method of administering CBD, isolate individuals might believe that they are taking one of the most effective route to CBD consumption

[railingsofsorrow]

Riptide

[spencer reid × reader]

summary: reader is reluctant about accepting the new reality so she just pretends nothing really changes, while emily keeps trying to shake her up and spencer is really bad at noticing stuff.

or

a sequel to the mess is mine oneshot

pairing: s.r × f!reader

w.c: 2.5K

warnings/content: hints at divorce; tw!pregnancy symptoms (especially vomiting!); firearms trafficking scheme; tw!descriptions of violence; usual criminal minds stuff; tw!anxiety; y'all like criffhangers? cause i do; allusions to tw!drowning.

A/N: bold means there are messages being exchanged. bold and italics means it's the other person, only bold without italics it's Y/N.

A/N: I revised this FIVE TIMES, guys. you'll probably still find some spelling mistakes huh

➶ ➷ 

Morning sickness was definitely the worst symptom Y/N had to deal with after the sixth week of seeing the dreadful confirmation on the pink stick.

She couldn't hold down food. Any type of food for that matter. She craved coffee all the time. Probably because she had an awful tendency to desire things she couldn't have. And she could not have coffee. Emily wouldn't stop bugging her about it. It would be bad for the—

Y/N was trying to say it. She really was. But it was still something that stayed at the back of her mind. Especially with an important case like this one.

“What's the address?” Derek inquired, arriving at Garcia's left side as Y/N was on her right, pointing at something on the screen that the blonde should go over.

“Already sent you, my cupcakes.” Penelope replied, eyes not leaving the screen in concentration.

“Great.“ Emily clasped her hands together, gaining everyone's attention. “Morgan and Reid can go to the Henley's, while JJ, Rossi and I will follow to the Zara's house.”

“Good luck with making them cooperate with anything.” Y/N made a comment. She had tried getting some answers out of the family before, but it was no use. You'd think with their daughter being missing they would make the FBI's job easier.

“I can get into their files...” Garcia singsonged, the clash of typing loud in the room as she worked. Y/N smirked, leaning on the desk.

“It won't be necessary.” Rossi said with a warning glance.

Y/N couldn't help but think the people she was working with resembled a family in some way. Even if she had not been present years before, she had heard from Emily and Spencer about the dynamics everyone shared. They cared deeply about each other. She figured with the hardships they have to go through in every case, it shouldn't be any different. Y/N admired that.

She also admired the fact that despite Spencer being a profiler—a great one at that—, a self proclaimed genius and an extremely sensitive person; he could not see what was right in front of him.

Or maybe, he was simply giving her space to deal with her stuff. It was not that he didn't know what was going on, but that he didn't want to push her to talk about anything she did not felt comfortable with.

Yet, she had not said a thing to him since two weeks ago, when Emily cornered her in the bathroom and made her buy a pregnancy test.

She bought five. Just to be sure.

One negative and four positives.

If Emily wasn't by her side when she took each of them, Y/N would've took the negative one as the only that mattered and moved on with it.

“An appointment will ease your worries.” Emily advised, pushing a glass of water into Y/N's shaky hands. “I'll go if you want me to.”

“Please. I'll probably pass out when I get the results.” She croaked out, taking a sip of water to rest her head against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall. She knew the results, deep down. But she still had to read them in an official trusted test, not a pharmaceutical one.

After the doctor's appointment, she decided to dial a number she had memorized by heart. During the ride to her apartment she had planned out the entire speech.

She hung up as soon his voice said hello.

A wave of nausea overcoming her and her anxiety did not make it any better. Y/N was a mess. She was aware of that.

Still married. Currently cheating on her husband with her best friend's coworker. Nine weeks pregnant.

What could get worst?

Ah, yes. Not telling the father of your child that he was going to be a father.

Besides being a mess, she was a fucking coward.

She felt as if she was on a non-stop riptide. With no sight of land for a safe forthcoming.

Her phone vibrated as she was telling Garcia another file code they needed to see. Keyword being need. It was extremely necessary for the investigation, alright? Not that the rest needed to know how they got into the servers.

Or how they accessed the files.

“We need to talk.” The message sent from her husband read. Y/N sighed softly and blocked the screen, shoving it in her back pocket again.

Last night she asked for a divorce and he wanted to know why. He wanted to know why. Couldn't it be more obvious? Both inside the marriage are cheating, clearly unhappy for years, and he still had the guts to ask why?

“There's nothing to say. Have you signed the papers?”

“We can fix this.” He wrote back.

“Sign the divorce papers and we'll talk, Jack.” She hoped that had put an end to the conversation.

“Oh, my. Y/N, look at this.” Penelope pointed at the computer screen. Y/N looked up, “Look at how many weapons are out of the system. Look at the numbers... What are they doing?”

“Trafficking.” concluded Y/N, squinting her eyes at the screen on the side when she saw a familiar name. Her phone already forgotten. “Penny, what's this purchase here? When it is from?”

Penelope clicked on it so they could see it better.

“Miron Zara sold around 145 million weapons to Raymond Henley and a Carlos Stewart in twelfth of March,” Garcia interrupted her out loud explaining, narrowing her eyes as another set of lists appeared on the screen.

Y/N wasn't paying attention anymore. Not since she heard the name of Carlos.

That couldn't be her partner on NBS. Her friend?

“... since 2017— Y/N? Are you alright?” Noticing the distraught gaze of her friend, Garcia quickly stood up and moved closer. “Honey, you're a bit pale—”

The annoying vibration of her cellphone made her come out of her inner turmoil.

“Call them.” Y/N requested, standing up although still shaking with the earliest revelation. “Call the team. We need to go over everything before they question the Henley's and the Zara's.” Garcia watched her warily.

Y/N sighed, brushing away a strand of hair from her cheek. Her tone was soft as she begin to explain. “You know how I told you that I covered my tracks when I did the research on the softwares? The data... It's all in my servers.” Penelope nodded slowly, “Carlos Stewart helped me cover my tracks. He works at NBS for years and has been my partner for half of those. He knows about my investigation and what it is really about, not the cover-up story we told to keep from compromising.”

“Oh, my god. Y/N, he is in the scheme!”

“Which means he has been accessing my stuff for years now. That fucking bastard.”

Once Penelope called everyone and they were updated on the news, a new path had been cleared. But one thing was still unclear for Y/N and she needed to free her mind.

“I found a possible address of the girl!” Garcia exclaimed, eyes not leaving the computer. “Already sent them— Where are you going?” She frowned when she saw Y/N grabbing her stuff to go to the door.

“I need to go to my office. It will be a minute.” Before Penelope could question her further she leaves the room.

“I know what you're thinking. Don't confront him.”

Spencer's name lightened up her phone on her desk as she connected a harddrive to her own computer.

“I should've fired him from the first slip up. Look at what happens when I don't follow my gut.”

She sent as the device uploaded.

“Please, tell me you are in the BAU.” Spencer sent.

How did he knew she wasn't at their floor? It would always send shivers down her spine how Spencer knew her behaviour. He was a profiler, after all.

“Y/N?”

“Y/N, I'm being serious. Everyone inside the NBS floor is in danger, including you. Go back to Garcia's office.”

“Stop ordering me around, Doc. I'll be fine.”

Yes. That was the best she could come up with. She stopped paying attention to the upcoming messages when the upload reached 91%.

“Fuck, just go.” She whispered, eyeing the door continuously. If he got in, which he could very well do, then he would definitely know he was being investigated. It would blew up in the whole FBI.

Y/N expect that not so literally.

“I did not expect to find you here.”

Her body froze entirely when the voice reached her ears.

95%

“Didn't thought you'd be stupid enough to come here willingly.” A cold metal was pressed gently against her temple, and she closed her eyes momentarily. Is this where she was going to die? In her office? Her boring office?

98%

“Turn around and don't even try anything. It wouldn't be a pretty sight to have your brains splattered out here, would it?” Carlos sneered, grabbing her forearm with such force that it would certainly bruise later.

99%

Now she couldn't see the screen anymore. Still, she held herself back in a way that the harddrive upload would be complete by the time she stepped away from the front. If he saw it, then it was her end.

“Move, bitch!”

He cornered her to a wall, causing her forehead to throb with the action as she groaned.

“Stewart, we can talk about this.” She pretended to reason. There was no time for that anymore; she was just trying to buy some time for her.

The hand around her neck begged to differ.

“I always did find you a pretty girl, you know?” His other hand pressed the gun against her hip in a kind reminder that it was there and it wasn't moving any time soon. She felt herself getting sick. “When you were oblivious to everything, of course. Couldn't have you messing around with a good thing I had going on for a while, could I, sweetheart?” The difference from the sweet man that worked with her was colossal.

Her ears picked up a click when he lead them towards the door.

“Don't do this. Don't do this, Stewart.” The desperate tone that left her lips was not Y/N's. An inner voice took over as soon as the gun threatened her back. “You can get out of this. We can help each other.”

“Oh, I know I can get out of this, baby. You? Not so sure.”

Saying that he had a good thing going on for a while was a complete euphemism on Carlo's part. Stewart, Henley and Zara had a squeme worth fifteen billion dollars in firearms trafficking.

“Put the gun down, Agent.”

Emily's voice silenced all the nervous commotion inside the FBI. Y/N felt Carlo's snicker on her ear as she turned her neck to stare at the eyes of three within the BAU team, since the rest were probably following the address Penelope had given of Aaliyah. Her attention caught calculated eyes of a person that held a gun like they wouldn't do in his early years of FBI; with an unexpected good aim and not even a spasm of shaking muscle.

Spencer didn't even glanced in her direction.

She hoped he aimed right into Stewart's head.

“You shoot me, she gets a bullet in her pretty brain. Is that what you want?” His warm breath clinged onto her cheek and she swallowed a lump in her throat. If she didn't throw up right now she was convinced she had become superwoman. The will to do it was just so strong.

“What's the use in hurting an Agent?” David Rossi raised an eyebrow when he finally got Carlo's attention. This is when Y/N tried to talk to Emily through a look. She would get her. She had to get her.

Emily stared at her and then Carlos, lowering her weapon. He flinched behind Y/N, pressing the gun against her back strong enough to bruise. She winced. Spencer tightened his hold on his gun.

“You want more years in a maximum security prison? Because this is what will happen to you. A young man. Full of life. With all the reputation you've build for yourself over the years—destroyed. Just like that.” Carlos' didn't move. He seemed to freeze suddenly. Y/N wondered if this was the right moment to pull his arm away but with only a look Emily warned her against the decision.

The Unit Chief was slowly moving towards Y/N's office.

Until a shot was fired.

And each trained Agent in that room aimed towards Carlos Stewart and his partner that had just arrived.

Emily Prentiss got the hard drive with all the relevant information Y/N had kept over the years. Once she left the office, the scene made her wish she hadn't.

Y/N Y/L/N was on the floor. A growing pool of blood drawing the path from her stomach to the white tiles. Someone yelled to call an ambulance instead of simply staring at the gruesome scene.

Spencer was hyperventilating as he pressed his hands against Y/N's wound. He couldn't concentrate on anything. How rare was it when Spencer couldn't concentrate on anything? He always focused when he wanted.

“'M fine.” Y/N choked out, frowning when she tried to move because it hurted. God, why does it hurt? “Spencer—”

“Don't move.” He said shortly, feeling his fingers slip with so much of her blood. Her blood. There's so much of it— “It's okay. The ambulance is coming. Just-just hang on, alright?”

Y/N stared at him with a deep crease between her eyebrows. Confusion written all over her face, despite the obvious dizziness she couldn't point out where it came from. Why was she even on the ground? Wasn't she being held at gunpoint only a minute ago? Did she missed a chapter of that play?

“What—” She lifted her arm to grab his hand. When her eyes found the crimson red she couldn't look away. “I'm- I'm fine, Spencer. What is this? Are you hurt?” A groan left her lips when her vision became too blurry to see. There were loud voices. Then, far away sounds she couldn't comprehend anymore. “Spencer,” She felt her body being lifted and the world turned dark.

She could still faintly hear her name being called from afar. But everything was so fuzzy… Like drowning. The riptide had finally reached her, hadn't it? Oh, she was so tired from swimming away from the waves.

A question haunted her brain until she gave up to darkness: why is nobody helping Spencer if he's bleeding?

Y/N thought Spencer was the one bleeding. She thought he was the one that had been hurt. She thought he was dying as she was suddenly losing all the focus around her. Why couldn't she see him? Why are the lights out? Where is Spencer?

And Emily couldn't move.

There comes a moment where you have to stop swimming. Just let it take you. You'll feel the peace enter your body, penetrating your bones and embracing your heavy soul.

Stop swimming.

Let it go.

---

sources used:

about morning sickness

about the trafficking of weapons

[eponymous-rose]

Big sigh of relief today! (Tw for cancer, parental death under the cut)

So it's been almost two years since Mom died of ovarian cancer, and one of the super fun things I learned in the process is that certain kinds of cancer have a strong genetic component. For ovarian cancer, the presence of certain genes can boost your lifetime chance of ovarian cancer from 1.8% (general population baseline) to 50%.

Shortly before she died, my mom managed to get a full genetic workup (we actually got the results a few days after she died) that came back negative, which was a spectacular gift, but I was also very aware that there are very few women on Dad's side of the family and honestly I was just getting anxious about my own chances - seeing someone go from "I'm going to the doctor's office about this upset stomach I can't shake" to dead in five months will do that to you.

Luckily I have phenomenal insurance through work (which obviously shouldn't be a thing, fucking give everyone universal health care as a basic human right regardless of employment status, but I digress), and the campus I work at has some world-class folks working in oncology and genetics. So I got a series of meetings with specialists to talk about me getting genetic testing, and then an appointment this morning to talk to a surgeon/genetics expert about my results.

Everything's negative on my end! Due to a variety of factors, I may actually have a slightly lower lifetime risk than the general population. I learned that I might want to go back on hormonal bc (10 years on the pill have been associated with 40% reduction in ovarian cancer risk, and a hearty fuck-you while I'm at it to everyone who even casually lobbies against birth control) and if I ever go to get my tubes tied, I may want to get the tubes removed altogether instead, but otherwise I'm good to go about my life.

I have a number I can call if anything changes (new cancers in my family, that sort of thing) or if I notice even slightly worrying symptoms. The regular screening methods currently in use for ovarian cancer have not shown any positive effect (and in low-risk patients - of which I am now officially one! - there is a negative effect recorded in the form of false positives leading to unnecessary surgeries), so she recommended against that in my case.

For my fellow ovary-havers: ovarian cancer does have symptoms, but they're often so general that they get dismissed by medical professionals in favor of more ordinary ailments (mom was at the drugstore picking up a prescription for diverticulitis when the doctor's office called to say it actually wasn't diverticulitis after all): bloating, urinary frequency changes, changes in bowel habits... but what really matters is an acute and severe flare of those things. So it's important to be aware of your baseline and take action when there are any major changes.

So, yeah. Feels good (and surreal) after two years to no longer have a potentially dangerous surgery hanging over me (removal of the ovaries super early is associated with higher risk of heart disease, osteoporosis, and dementia, to say nothing of the fun of early menopause). At the same time, I'm extremely aware of how lucky I am to be in a place (both physically and just, y'know, economically?) where all of this expertise was at my disposal and never cost a penny out of pocket.

[trans-axolotl]

i saw in a recent ask that the general consensus with pcos is that if someone doesn't have hyperandrogenism as a result then they shouldn't consider themselves intersex, but what about in the case of someone having pcos and/or ncah, lacking hyperandrogenism, but still having enough "masculine" physical features that its prompted social mistreatment (but not medical)? i know you're only a singular intersex person and not The Authority on who can identify as what, but i was curious your thoughts on this matter.

Hi! Sorry, my answer got a bit long.

So first off I just want to say that I'm fairly confident that everyone with NCAH also has hyperandrogenism, because CAH causes higher levels of testosterone and that's just a diagnosable factor. Unlike PCOS, where people are diagnosed with and without hyperandrogenism, CAH in all forms has higher levels of androgens. This is also why NCAH is uncontroversially accepted as intersex, because it's not a syndrome the same way PCOS is, which means there's a unified set of diagnosable criteria and that all people with NCAH share the same cause for their symptoms.

I honestly think it might be more helpful in intersex community if we reframe the conversation to talk about how congenital hyperandrogenism is an intersex variation rather than continuing to discuss whether or not PCOS is an intersex variation. Regardless if you're diagnosed at birth, childhood, or puberty, if you have hyperandrogenism as an intrinsic part of your body (as opposed to caused by medication, tumor, develops as an adult because of lifestyle) then you are intersex. This is something that will be true of most people with PCOS. The only reason why PCOS is treated different than CAH is because PCOS is a group of symptoms that are associated with each other, and you can technically get diagnosed with the other symptoms of PCOS without having hyperandrogenism. I honestly don't think that happens very much, as most people with PCOS figure it out by having hirsutism, or acne, or other things that are the clinical symptoms of hyperandrogenism. So honestly? If you've been diagnosed with PCOS, it's very likely that you do have hyperandrogenism, which would automatically make you intersex. However, if you have PCOS and you know for a fact you don't have either clinical or biochemical hyperandrogenism, then I just don't think you really do fit the definition, because it's the hyperandrogenism that makes you intersex, not the PCOS.

I'm not big on setting rules for who is and isn't allowed to be in intersex community spaces, and I've talked several times before about what self/community diagnosis can look like for intersex people. I don't think people should be forced to share intimate medical details before gaining access to intersex spaces, and in any intersex spaces I'm in we don't require proof of a doctor's diagnosis. And I'm never going to interrogate individual people with PCOS about whether they have hyperandrogenism or not, or what their last blood test results were, or anything like that. If someone has PCOS and is in intersex spaces, I'm going to fully embrace them as intersex!

I don't know. I think if people are facing social mistreatment, they deserve community support, but I also don't think that intersexism is the only cause of that type of social mistreatment like harassing people with features that are deemed to be "too masculine." (I also think if someone with PCOS has been getting harassed for having features that are "too masculine" then they might just have clinical hyperandrogenism anyway, so it might be a moot point.) I think that people with a wide range of experiences face social mistreatment for that, and that particular experience is one with a lot of overlap. (I also think that structural intersexism has ramifications that go beyond just prejudice of intersex people, and that dyadic people are also influenced by an intersexist system.) I think that people need to make a good faith effort to do self reflection about what their relationship is to intersex community and identity, and also make sure that they understand what exactly intersex is and how intersex is defined. I also think that it's okay to understand yourself as intersex adjacent, or to find intersex community spaces that are open to supporting people who have similar experiences but not necessarily an intersex diagnosis.

I guess my overall thoughts on this are just that being intersex isn't something that's solely defined by whether you're experiencing intersexism. Intersex is defined by having an intersex variation and by actively identifying with the term. It's not defined by how you experience intersexism, or what types, or if you've only experienced medical but not social discrimination, or if you've experienced surgery or not experienced surgery. I also know that intersex diagnosis is complicated, and it can be difficult because doctors don't really start conversations by going "you're intersex" or even saying things like "you have PCOS with hyperandrogenism." A lot of times things are implied or hidden, so my general rule is that if you think you have an intersex variation and think that you belong in intersex community spaces, I will fully welcome you, no questions asked.

Also if people want me to make a post about some of the weird controversies that doctors are currently having about PCOS diagnosis and how the benchmarks for PCOS can shift, let me know. There's a lot of interesting disagreements that doctors are having about how to diagnosis PCOS and there isn't really even a consensus on some diagnostic factors, and debates over measuring hyperandrogenism.

Other intersex people, please feel free to add on and disagree. This is a complicated issue and I think there's room for open discussion and a wide variety of opinions on this.