#“whats wrong with your brain?” “it yearns for the past but it wont be the same”
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apoli-meow · 10 months ago
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So like
The song "diagnosis" for kusuo anyone?
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ask-the-party-god · 4 years ago
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'i cannot give anymore' "what?" 'i cannot give anymore. fuck. but my whole personalitys built around kindness and if i cant give then im what? stuck.' "so lets work this out, whats wrong with your heart?" 'it wont come out no it wont even start' "and then moving on whats wrong with your brain" 'it yearns for the past but it wont be the same' "well its clear to see youve got a disease" 'well whats the disease' "well its called empathy" (part 1 of 2)
"it means youll give blood till theres none left to bleed" 'but i do not want to be kind!' "what?" 'i only want to survive!' "no" 'this efforts exhausting its getting me nowhere and wherw does that leave me? alone.' "you do not have a choice, the honey slips into your voice" the kindness flows through your veins, that is something that cannot be changed" "caring is what fulfills you. learn to harness it before it kills you"
what is this supposed to be? :o i mean its pretty writing but, yeah... :o
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citialiin · 4 years ago
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FIVE SONGS
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list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.
TAGGED BY: @dansiere​​, who did such a good detailed job they even included an “honorable mentions list” ? i am embarrassed to type mine out now TAGGING: @blossomingbeelzebug​​ @zhrets​​ @dirtyfilthysunshine​​ @prcphesise​​ @hyakiru​ @foxcharmed​
01. kaun komsott - ros sereysothea
this song actually lyrically has absolutely nothing to do with ziggy !!!!  kaun komsott /  កូនកំសត់ actually just means “poor/pitiful child” it’s just a khmer dub of a song from a taiwanese movie lol but i feel like this is the kind of music he would listen to that made him fall in love with, like ... humanity, as dumb as that sounds. it’s time period appropriate (late 60s/early to mid 70s), the song is really good and it’s SO emotional.  i could see him sitting in the apartment of his bandmates after being “found” and they teach him how to use the record player and he sits there going through each and every record they have and listening to this and its like the fucking scene in ratatootie where the goddamn rat can visualize tastes as colors but he would be so enamored with the song he would see it in colors or something i dunno.  something has definitely fucking happened to my brain because ever since nat and alex and i rewatched ratatootie we keep referencing it for our characters. anyways i ended up using an instrumental of kaun komsott in the final film i made as the song that plays during the end.  so this song just also means a lot to me because it’s part of how i made this character and the film/story i animated to go along with him, i am sure you are all absolutely sick of hearing me talk about it <3  
02. who can i be now - daveed booweyywywy now you found me, now can I be real?  can I be real? if it’s all a vast creation / putting on a face that’s new someone has to see / a role for him and me someone might as well be you
one of z’s most obvious character motifs is figuring out self identity through adopting different guises.  he markets himself as being so overly confident and almost arrogantly certain of himself -- rock god space idol whatever -- as his own way of learning who he thinks he might be underneath it all.  i think at first it started off a little innocuous, a ‘ fake it till u make it ’ thing at the least and maybe more obviously a ‘ im not a human so i have to pretend to be someone else ’ deal, but over time it became almost all consuming and just obliterated all his previously held sense of self in favor of some weirdly demented version of who he wanted to be.  683 starts off with the same core personality traits as ziggy: maybe he’s a little vain, a little selfish, but he’s very interested in creativity/self-expression and he wants to be thought of as a unique individual and appreciated for his differences.  but the difference is that 683 isnt an arrogant asshole who has no regard for other people in the slightest.  so yeah ... who can u be now ... is it worth it to adopt a different guise or should he go through the effort of figuring out what parts of his personality were corroded by human influence and what parts are genuinely him?  my big endgame thoughts for his story would be that he eventually just decides to retire from the public eye and fucks off entirely.  this would be over the course of a long long long time -- maybe he has a good 20 yr run in the industry -- but there are some things about him he has to deal with (mental health issues, drug addiction, also the fact that you’re a freaky alien creature who doesnt age like a human so you’re physically like 46 and you still look like you’re 25?) so he inevitably decides he doesnt need the horrible pressure of fame and he ought to just live his life for himself.  i think this would be a nice final song for him to sing/perform -- then he goes into the dressing room and cuts his hair and just vanishes. bye.
03. sunny afternoon - the kinks Help me, help me, help me sail away Well give me two good reasons why I oughta stay 'Cause I love to live so pleasantly Live this life of luxury Lazing on a sunny afternoon
1. i think this would sound A LITTLE like the kind of music he would write/play albeit i feel like his would be more exciting and have more samplings of like laser noises or pewpewpew or weird spaceship sounds BUT.  its also pretty time period appropriate.  even in “modern” verses ziggy is inexplicably obsessed with the 1970s, he likes bell bottoms and thinks groovy patterns are neat and he owns too many lava lamps.  anywayz. 2. just the general idea of feeling unfulfilled with luxury -- even if ziggy enjoys his fame and wealth and the absolutely insane amount of pussy/dick he gets at some level he is still cognizantly aware of how weirdly empty he feels.  he ditched atomina and came here because he felt unfulfilled and bored and unwanted.  now he feels wanted (clearly, everyone loves him) and he feels entertained (earth is So Good at fun distractions) but his fulfillment still isnt quite there.  he’s getting there -- but in exchange of being able to live this life of fame, he’s had to kind of change everything about himself and live this almost caricature version of himself, and he knows he cant keep it up forever.  the luxury will run out one day and he’ll be a washup and no one cares about celebrities once they stop being hip.  it is literally only a matter of time before ziggy has to find out who he is because no one can be a “rockstar” forever.
04. i hate jimmy page - mindless self indulgence SUCKAS CAN REACH OUT TOUCH ME EAT ME BITE DA FUTURE & FUCK DA PAST  I'm lower than most animals and fear what might be weird and all those voices in my head have every right to be there i ain't a girl just cause i rock the boat i ain't a boy just cause i rock your world
i mean he does hate jimmy page but that’s beside the point. its just a good song about being a crazy rockstar and has the same Craziness that i feel like accompanies his character ... just go listen to it you will understand. there is nothing to explain here.  even the lyric “ill show u how official midgets jack me off” like just accept it. it’s whatever  but yeah i aint a girl i aint a boy ... i guess his gender (or lack thereof) never really comes up in rp but its still an important part of his character.  if any of u guys ever call him a man in prose again ill kick ur ass.  gender is like an accessory to him and he just takes whatever aspects of masculinity/femininity he prefers and discards everything else.  to him he’s just as much a “man” or a “woman” as he is a “human” which is to say he isnt, at all, and he just pretends to be because he feels obligated to.  also ziggy’s brain kind of sounds like this...just Noises.  his brain sounds like a microwave that’s been going off for 26 years.  i think his brain is a single uncooked pinto bean rolled in glitter that’s been left in a box with a cobweb
05. ghostride - crumb daydreaming I stay in the backseat / the slow beat rocks me back to sleep keeps me on automatic  press my face up close against the glass i see the people when they pass they move so automatic you wake up when I go down / the radio reminds me I'm alive we've been hearing it all night
i care more about 683 on atomina than i do about ziggy on earth sometimes (BUT I CARE THEM BOTH. DO U?) so ... 683 feeling aimless and drifting but trying to find purpose through passion, a person, some sort of concrete meaning -- going through the motions of life makes him feel empty he spends almost every day going through the same toil while feeling guilty or like a burden and also feeling like he’s ultimately nothing more than a replaceable cog in a machine. his species had a near extinction = bottleneck which made them so genetically similar they’re almost clones of each other.  no one ever seems to do anything wrong except him, he finds no joy or fulfillment in anything at all.  all he ever wanted (which isnt a selfish desire at all) was to feel purpose, or feel wanted, or appreciated. inevitably he leaves because of his own imagination -- he yearns for something More, and he doesn’t know What, so he figured he ought to at least Try instead of waste his life away. also atomina is supposed to sound like “automatic.”  do NOT make fun of my bad scifi.  i am trying to mimic the way 1970s scifi is endearingly cheesy.  come here.  i just want to touch you with this knife.  gently tho it wont go inside of you. bro you are bleeding. bro we are bleeding and i keep putting the knife in your soft parts.
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arcanarandos · 5 years ago
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Only An Eternity. (The Arcana OS)
[Asra x apprentice]
[WC: idk]
[Asras pronouns will be he/him in this so I can keep the apprentice gender-neutral]
Asra held the hand of his dear apprentice, looking lovingly in their direction as they looked to the sky. "Asra?" He hummed in response, "if an eternity were to exist, what would you do?"
He couldn't help but raise his brow to such an unusual question, "why such the odd question? Is everything okay?"
"Oh yes, everythings fine! I'm just curious thats all." They turned to him with a reassuring smile that seemed to shine under the moonlight. The two sat for a while both pondering, "If I had an eternity, I would spend it with the ones I love. As Well I want to help people!" Asra could only chuckle their naiveté.
"You have always been one with a noble heart. I admire such about you." His face morphed to a mischievous grin. The apprentice blushed but looked away, smiling sheepishly. Asra, on the inside was smiling like a dork. As much as he wants to deny such feeling for them, it was extremely difficult. In his head, the answer to their question was there. The answer actually is sitting right beside him. He opened his mouth but words wouldn't come out.
"Asra is something wrong?" They clentched his hand slightly tighter, showing their concern. Asra just sat there, relaxing himself after seemingly panicking during his statement. "Its not like you to freeze like that, whats the matter?"
"Nothing bad, just stumbled upon my words."
"To answer my question?" Asra looked to the sky as the apprentice stared, "you look so worried." He seemed taken back at that statement. He was unaware that his expression had changed at all.
"Its just my answer may seem a bit," he paused for a moment rubbing his chin "how do I say this? Selfish, maybe." Asras eyes widen as he hears them laugh.
"The great magician Asra Alnazar being selfish! What a rare occasion, I can only wonder what it might be.~" The apprentice nudged him playfully, continuing to giggle like a child. Asra laughed awkwardly, unsure to pursue. Just the thought of saying it terrified him. "Come on now! You have to say it!" They gripped onto his arm, their eyes full of childlike wonder. Asra sighed, metaphorically pinned by them. 'Better now then never..' He thought to himself.
"Well, if I had an eternity... Id like to spend it with one person." Asra glaced over to see the apprentice with a smirk.
"Who?" The apprentice pressed on, "maybe I can help! Is it Muriel!" Asra could only laugh at how clueless they were. "You are gonna tell me right?" They pouted.
"My lord I thought you'd know by now," Asra wiped the stray tear hanging off his eyes. The apprentice looked confused. As if on cue thurder can be heard in the back ground, not soon after rain started to fall. "Well then, how unexpected. We should head back to the shop."
"But asra-" he put his finger upon their lips.
"We wouldnt want you getting sick, would we?" They nodded, Asra smiled as he took their hand. They never spoke about that question again.
Months pass and its a a cold gloomy day. Word around Versuvia is there is a sickness spreading around. Asra has no good feeling about it. "We should leave... Somewhere safer..." The apprentice turns around furiously.
"Are you serious! And leave all these people to die without helping!" They walked over to asra with fire in their eyes.
"Yes! It will be safe and we wont get caught in the plague!" Asra tried to stay calm. Clenching his fist.
"Asra! Magicians like us are needed in a time like this! I cant just leave and hear rumors of people dying here! If there a chance i can help, I will take it!!" Asra gritted his teeth, indeed he knew it was what they were going to say.
"Damn your heart of gold! You know you could die out there!" He raised his voice.
"And I am more then willing to die trying to help those in need!" They raised their voice, "if you want to leave so badly just leave alone!"
The words they said felt like knifes, prying right into his heart. Part of him wanted to stay with them, yet anger overflew through his body. His expression was cold, "gladly." His voice was bitter, monotone. He walked to the back grabbing his coat, bag, and hat. Before reaching for the door. "Faust! Lets go."
Faust went out of hiding and slowly slithered to Asra. He leaned down for her to latch to his arm. "Is friend ok?" She asked, her head looks back.
"They'll be fine.." He closed the door to the shop and walks down the nearly empty brick road. Tears rushed down his face, yet never looked back. As he reached the forest he stopped in his tracks and punched the nearest tree multiple time. Blood seeped from his hand, yet he didnt care.
"Hurt! Stop!" The small voice of his familiar as she peaked from his scarf.
"Its okay Faust, I can heal them." Asra smiled slightly as he continued walking past the forest, into the horizon.
For months, asra yearned to return. Yet he didn't, his fear of heading back stopped him. He missed the apprentice ever so dearly. Word had flew that they were working alongside doctor Julian Devorak as their assistant. He didnt know much about the doctor himself.
"See friend?" Faust tiny voice rang to Asras ear. He looked up to see Faust had wake from her nap. "Friend!" Her voice sounded panicked.
"Whats wrong Faust? Bad dream?" Asra gave faust a small part on her head.
"Friend, hurting! Hurt!" Asra raised his brow and concentrated. Feeling the magic energy of his friends. Muriel seemed fine, which wasnt a surprise. Yet his eyes widen when he could barely sense a particular energy. Seeming it was like it was going down by the minute.
"No! No no no no!" Rushing he grabbing his things, then dashing out the door. He could travel so fast. Its when he reached Versuvia he couldnt find them. He asked some familar faces, only one knew.
"They were taken to a camp.. With people gravely ill with the plague." Asras eyes widen, he couldnt believe it. He stumbled upon his word as he asked where. "Lazeret.. The island off the coast." Asra waved as he rushed to the dock. He hitched a empty boat and eagerly made his way to the island.
As he coasted and hoped out, he can already feel off of the black shored beach. He walked around, wondering where to look. Chills went up his spine as he felt a jolt of energy beneath his feet. Placing his hand against the ground tears rushed to his face. "No! It cant be!" He frantically dug into the ground, breaking out in fits of coughs as new plumes of smog fill the air. His hands bleed, his finger swollen, yet he held one thing. Screams of despair rang though to the dark sky. The longing sobs of a lost lover, crying into their burnt ash and bones. In his head rang one word 'eternity' as his brain got back in order a 'eternity' turned into 'if only we had an eternity'
'If we only had-' he suddenly dropped the ashes, standing up. Facing the ground, he looked to the boat.
"We WILL have our eternity"
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vents-things · 5 years ago
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I cannot give anymore
What?
I cannot give anymore! But my whole personality is based around kindness and without that then im what? Stuck.
Well lets work this out. Whats wrong with your heart?
It wont come out no it wont even start.
Now moving on what's wrong with your brain?
Its yearns for the past but it wont be the same.
Its clear to see, you have a disease.
Whats the disease..?
Its called empathy. It means you'll give blood till theres none left to bleed.
I dont want to be kind.
What?!
I only wanna survive
No!
This efforts exhausting its getting me no where and where does that leave me? Alone.
But you do not have choice. The honey slips into your voice. Kindness flow through your veins. That's something that cannot be changed. Caring is what fulfills you. So learn to harness it before it kills you.
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kiyomari · 8 years ago
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Marichat May Day 13: Sin
marichat may masterpost
Just a silly scene where an older Marinette and Chat Noir continue a tradition of good food and good company, only things get a little… steamy.
Rating: T
This is kind of a sequel to what I wrote for day 1, and although it references back to that drabble, can be read on its own. Food notes at the end!
She can’t really remember when this became their routine, but they’ve been baking and eating treats together for at least six years now. She does remember that he used to be very, very bad at this - burning pans, dropping ingredients, and generally getting underfoot (as cats are wont to do) - but now he can even make his own sweets without destroying her kitchen.
Today they were having tiramisù and hot chocolate on her balcony. For the tiramisù she soaked the ladyfingers in café serré and amaretto to keep the flavors intense, but sweet for her kitty. Honestly, she thought, shaking her head a little, that boy loves sugar more than life.
By the time he arrives a lush, intoxicating scent was wafting from the table his princess had set out. A piping hot mug by each chair and two servings of tiramisù standing by, with sweet Marinette lost in her sketchbook. Mustering all his feline grace, he glides behind her and places a palm on each shoulder, breathing Bonsoir Purrincess into her ear. She jerks back, feet drawn up into the chair and face plastered with shock while Chat Noir beams down having achieved the desired reaction.
“Chat Noir, you sneak!” she exclaims as she throws her cushion at him. He raises his arms over his head, laughing. “Oh no you don’t! This. Is. Not. Funny,” she punctuates each word with a whack from her sketchbook, but he can’t help it. He adores the fire in her eyes when she’s angry, it feels like he’s found home when she’s focused on him alone…
Marinette decides a change of tactics is called for so she grabs his plate and holds it high, standing up in her chair to say, “Fine! If that’s the way you want it I guess you won’t be needing this, will you?”
His eyes fly wide and he hastens to appease her, “I was wrong Princess! I’ll never do it again, so spare me!” He flings his arms around her knees, looking upward with his best model-trained kitten eyes. Marinette maintains her stern facade for another beat before the giggles begin to spill down upon him, joy spreading to her eyes which now shine like stars. Feeling like he’s been hit by lightning, Chat Noir can only gape, dumbstruck while she brings her hand to her mouth and peals of laughter pour like pearls from her lips. His heart seizes at that image and he grips the material below his bell thinking, no, this is home.
Eventually they get around to actually sitting and Chat Noir is finally able to taste his tiramisù. The moment that first mouthful begins to dissolve, his costume ears point straight up and Marinette could swear she saw the very auroras dance across his eyes.
“MmmmmmMari~ This is so good. You have to taste it!” He places his left hand on the table for support as he reaches out to her, offering up his fork. Silly kitty, I made it. Of course I ate some already, she thinks. Parting her lips anyways, she leans across the table towards him and promptly knocks over his hot chocolate. The steaming liquid sloshes over his bracing hand and Chat Noir drops his fork in surprise.
“Oh, Chat! I’ve burned you!” Marinette shoots up, rattling the tableware while the chocolate-covered hero shakes his dripping hand.
“Don’t worry Princess, the suit absorbs pretty much everything,” he assures her, but Marinette has already sidestepped the table and gently cups his gloved hand in her own bare ones.
“I know.” She speaks softly, but with power behind her words, gazing straight into his eyes, piercing, he feels, even beyond his mask.
Never breaking eye contact, she raises his limp hand towards her and trails her tongue down starting from the tip of his ring finger. Her eyes flutter briefly as her lips brush past his miraculous, landing for an instant on the back of his hand. Meanwhile Chat Noir, one of Paris’ great superheros, is experiencing complete and utter panic. Reminiscent of Marinette’s collège days, he can’t keep a single thought straight, jumping from one track to another, spiralling out of control. (Does she like me? No, there’s no way this mea- her tongue! Her to- I wish I wasn’t wearing gloves…. What?! No! Get a hold of yours- We should be dating. I should ask her out for smoothies and then-)
As Chat wrestles his thoughts, Marinette continues her ministrations. Flipping his hand so the palm is facing her, she kisses right above his costume cuff, at the base of his palm, gliding up, following his fate line to twine her tongue between his middle and index fingers. Sipping dribbles of hot chocolate she takes in his thumb, slurping off the sticky drink, pulling back until her mouth  comes free with a slight pop. Chat Noir lets his thumb linger, a feather caress on her bottom lip, enraptured by her heady gaze. Her lidded eyes bore into his masked jade as their breath intertwines, heavy with emotion. Each lost, wandering the woods and sky, their dancing hearts are the only measure of time.
With his hand still held to her cheek, the corner of her moistened lip quirks up, the motion tugging at his thumb.
“What’s the matter, mon minou?” she lilts, “Cat got your tongue?” The moment she says the words a jolt runs up his spine, urging him to move, leaving him yearning to just   lean     forward.
Staggering a little, Chat Noir swerves toward the railing and only once he clambers safely atop it does he turn to face his lady. His eyes flare at her, but his eyebrows are twisted with questions and longing. His lips part slightly, then slam together as he drops off the roof and into the night leaving Marinette to watch his shadow scurry away, nearly tripping two roofs over. She could have laughed then, but Marinette simply followed him with her eyes and licked her lips which slowly settle into a smouldering smirk.
Bonus:
When he met Nino for lunch two days later, Adrien was still feeling quite dazed.
Scratch that.
His head was a total mess and he considered it a minor miracle that he made it to the meeting at all, much less with matching socks and both his shoes attached. He couldn’t really hear anything Nino said. He just nodded along as his brain flipped between replaying those beautiful, confusing moments on her balcony, and racing off in fragmented thought-trains towards impossible possibilities.
Adrien’s blissful, crazy dream world came crashing down when Nino started raving about Marinette’s miraculous baking.
“Dude, you have never tasted tiramisù so rad. I swear, it’s out of this world!”
Finally alert, Adrien feigned mild interest, mumbling Is that so? as his pulse thrummed through his veins.
“Totally! And get this, according to Marinette it even means ‘take me to heaven’ in Italian. Cool, huh?”
Everything else faded out until the only thing left in his world was Marinette. He watched as her sinful lips moved ever so slowly, carefully forming the words…
Take - me  - to - hea - ven
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First, I’m sorry if any of the food terms were inaccessible…
Tiramisù is an Italian desert made from ladyfingers (biscuits) soaked in strong coffee until they soft and spongy, then layered with cream and topped in chocolate. Adding alcohol is optional, but since it’s not cooked you will be eating whatever amount you put in. It’s an amazing desert and y’all should try it! I had Marinette use café serré (French equivalent of ristretto shots) because they are more concentrated and less bitter, while amaretto is a sweet, almond flavored liqueur that apparently goes really well with coffee.
Italian: ristretto “limited” “restricted”;  amaretto “a little bitter”; tiramisù “pull me up” (or if you believe mameshiba) “take me to heaven” which could be a liberal translation going off of “pick me up” “cheer me up” “lift me up”
French: café serré “strong coffee” (serré on it’s own being “tight” or “compact”)
Quick French culture reminders:
The drinking age is 18. Since the kids are 14-15 in the show, I placed this 6 years later so that they’re ~20 years old.
Collège is the equivalent of middle school/junior high.
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tellytantra · 4 years ago
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OS:  Tera Mera Pyar- our journey Neil was sitting in his room alone. He was still in the shock after what happened in the court. He was desperately fighting for the custody of his daughter Keya, the only hope of his life. But God had decided to bereave him of this happiness too. When it seemed that he was winning the case the shocking turn of events has left everyone stunned. Suddenly Ritwik had turned up in the court claiming that Keya was his daughter hence her custody cannot be given to Neil. He showed judge not only some intimate photos of Isha and him confirming their affair but also had DNA report which left no doubt that Keya was indeed his daughter. As a result the judge had granted divorce to Neil on his terms but since Neil was not biological father he had not got the custody of Keya. He was under the shock as he didn’t know what to do next? Whom to believe? The truth he lived all his life…his dream….his daughter Keya…was the biggest lie. Neil was lost in his thoughts when Mini came in the room. “I know what has happened today is difficult to accept but take it positively. Now you don’t have any string attached to your past. You can move on in life. Start your life afresh. ”Mini said as she took his hand in hers. “My daughter was my only hope. Now even if I want to move on with whom I’ll do that? Kaun hai jiske liye jiyu…jisko paane ki ichha rakhu?” Neil asked directly looking into Mini’s eyes. Ever since he had told Mini about his past Mini had friend zoned him. Suddenly all their moments, their eye locks were hurting her. He was yearning for her love and she was busy distancing herself from him. He didn’t even know what changed suddenly? He didn’t cheat her in any way. He told her the whole truth before confessing his love. He could understand that it was too much to take in but he had full confidence in Mini that she would understand his situation. After all her mom Babita went through same phase and she not only supported her mom but also remarried her to Hanuman Uncle. But Mini after knowing the truth was behaving as if she never loved him. All that happened between them was nothing but friendly gestures. She use to stress the word ‘friend’ whenever she talked with him. When her mom tried to persuade her to not go to Delhi with him Mini had replied that its her duty as his friend to stand by him in every tough situation. Her mom had forbade him from confessing his love to Mini but he had thought that there was no need of confession. Mini could sense him and his love but this ‘friend’ tag had irritated him to the core. So now he wanted answers. “You can nurture new dreams, meet new people in life. Don’t give up hope.” Mini replied after fighting a lot with her emotions. She wanted to shout out that Neil should live for her. Start a fresh life with her. But ever since she got to know his past she understood that he was not in love with her. He had his family, his wife, his daughter….all those memories in his house in Delhi. Maybe he needed emotional support as he was alone that’s why he unknowingly came near her and she took it as his love. The truth was her love was always one sided. When he had told her about his life, marriage in details and how his marriage broke Mini had again got a hope that he wanted to move on but then he never confessed his love. Her mom Babita who came to know about her feelings towards Neil had tried to make her understand several times that Neil had a love marriage. Her wife was his first love and he will never forget her even if he gets divorce. But Mini’s heart had refused to believe. She knew he had moved on in life and don’t love Isha anymore but then the fact the he hadn’t confessed his love for her was bothering her and made her feel that he doesn’t love her. “Mini...I…want to …say something….” Neil started finally gathering up his courage to confess his feelings but just then Babita interrupted them. Babita looked at Mini angrily and then at their entwined hands. Mini quickly left his hand and stood up from his bed. “Mini, Arya is calling you. She is saying that she will only drink milk from your hands. Please go and handle her.” said Babita to send Mini away. “But mom right now…” Mini tried to say no but Babita didn’t let her complete. “Offo Mini chali ja na��tujhe pata hai na teri chhutanki kitni ziddi hai.” Babita said and pushed Mini from the door. When she was sure that Mini is out of earshot she turned towards Neil, “Look Neil, whatever happened with you is very unfortunate and we sympathize with you but now that every thing is sorted I want you to leave this haveli.” Babita said directly without beating around the bush. “What? Why?” asked Neil shocked. “What will you do now here? Mini ki feelings ke bare mein to tum jante hi ho. Pehle to usko rokne ke liye tumhara past tha but ab toh wo bhi nahi hai….aise mein tum yaha rahoge toh Mini ko kaise rok paungi tumhare kareeb aane se? Isliye it will be better if you leave this place.” Babita explained her problem. “But that’s exactly my point. Previously you were against our relationship and forbade me from confessing my love because I was still not divorced but now everything is finished related to my past. Not only I got divorce but it turned out that Keya was also not my daughter. I don’t have any string attached to the past now. I was thinking that now I will confess my feelings to Mini and we will start fresh.” Neil tried to make her understand. “So what if you got divorced? Mini will always be a second woman in your life. My daughter is young. She has a bright future. She can get anyone then why she should settle for a divorcee?” asked Babita. “Is life some kind of competitio nto you…lets see who’s daughter gets best husband…is that so? Yes I was married but now I am divorced and I had moved on 5 years ago from Isha. I love Mini. She loves me then what is the problem?” Neil again made a desperately attempt to make her understand. “How you can be so sure that she loves you? Has she ever said that?” Babita inquired. “No, she never said anything but nor did I. We can sense each other. I know she loves me. She is not saying it because she may be confuse what I really want and then all this court drama…there was no time for a love confession.” Neil answered. “Toh jo kaha nahi gaya use hamesha ke lye unkaha hi rehne do…..koi jarurat nahi hai Mini ko kuch kehne ki….chale jao yaha se….meri beti ke aage puri life padi hai abhi..tum kyu uski life kharab karna chahte ho?” Babita requested. “Did you ask your daughter once what she wants?” Neil questioned. “Not needed. She is not mature enough to know whats right or wrong for her. Its my duty to think about her future.” Babita replied. “What if she comes to me and confess her love for me?” Neil asked.“That will never happen.” Babita said with confidence. “Ok, aap chahti hain na main chala jaun yaha se….theek hai chala jaunga…kal hi….kyunki ab main bhi thak gaya hoon is sab se….chahta toh main bhi yahi hoon ki Mini hamare rishte ko ye dosti ke parde se na dhake aur ise wo naam de jo sach mein hum dono ek dusre ke liye feel karte hain…..theek hai…main kal hi chala jaunga….aur khuch nahi kahunga apni feelings ke bare mein usko….lekin agar usse pehle khud Mini ne agar apna pyar accept kar liya tab….then I am sorry…main nahi rok paunga khud ko sach kehne se.” Neil said as he prepared himself for the greatest gamble of his life. “Don’t worry, tum jaane ki taiyaari karo Mini wont confess her love first….She is my daughter….call it her ego or whatever….she will never confess her feelings first.” Babita accepted the challenge. Next day Neil announced that he will be leaving  haveli forever in the evening. Babita smiled in victory but Mini was shocked. “Why you want to leave Neil?” Mini asked. “Why should I stay? For whom?” Neil had counter questioned. Mini was left speechless after that. He was right. What would he gain living here? She wanted to say that she love him but then thought what difference her one sided love will make in his decision. So she left the place quietly. Mini tried but failed to maintain her calm. Her heart was beating with jet speed ever since she heard Neil say that he will leave in the evening. Mini was restless. She decided she cant stay in haveli anymore as she felt suffocated and went to meet Preet. She decided she will spend all her time in Preet’s house and will only go back at night. This way she wouldn’t have to see Neil leaving. Babita on the other hand smiled in triumph as she looked Mini leaving for Preet’s house and Neil accepted his defeat. He closed his eyes and let his tears fall for his unfulfilled love. He started to pack his bags. Mini was anxious and was pacing here and there in Preet’s room. “Mini. calm down.You wont get anything like this. If you love Neil so much than why you are letting him go? Stop him. Say that you love him.” Preet advised. “But I don’t know if he loves me or not and whether he will stay if I ask him.” Mini shared her doubt. “Oye Mini, don’t use your brain. Ye dil ki baatein hain….tu bas apne dil ki sun…tujhe kya lagta hai…tumhare beech ab tak jo kuch hua kya wo sirf ek friendship thi usse jyada kuch nahi?” Bobby asked as he entered in the room.“But he never said….”Mini began telling but Bobby interrupted her. “Ok, don’t confess your love but atleast go to the haveli. I am coming from there. Neil is all set to go. He was as restless as you. Kam se kam usko last bar bye toh bolde.” Bobby said. “No…I…cant….” Mini stammered but this time Preet stopped her.“Why? Are you afraid that you will become weak in front of him?” Preet taunted. “No way Preet kaure…..I am a strong girl…itni mushkile jheli hai maine itni pareshaniyo ka saamna kiya hai…phir ye pyar vyar kya cheez hai….ye bhi seh sakti hoon…mujhe koi fark nahi padega Neil ko jate hue dekh kar.” Mini said with confidence. “Ok, then prove it. Lets go to haveli and say him bye.” Bobby said as he looked to Preet and winked at her s their plan to trigger Mini was successful. Mini came back to haveli with Bobby and Preet. Babita was tensed to see Mini back but as everyone was there she couldn’t say anything. Everyone, Mini and her friends, Babita, Hanuman, Naeem bi, Arya , Dadu Biji, Rani were standing in the living hall to see off Neil. Arya was crying continuously, “Mumma please Neil ko jaane se rok lo na…wo kyu jaa raha hai hume chhod kar?” asked Arya innocently. “Shut up, bado ke beech mein nahi bola karte.” Babita chided her. Neil came out with his bags. Mini took a deep breath to control her heart which she felt was sinking. Mini kept looking at Neil as he one by one said goodbye to everyone. Mini turned around and ran upstairs as she couldn’t stand there anymore. Preet ran after her. Neil saw her going and he felt bad she didn’t even wait to say him bye. “Mini, what happened? Yaha kyu aa gayi?” asked Preet. “Because I am not a strong girl….I cant see him going…its hurting me….my heart is bleeding…I thought I could bear it but cant take it any more.” Mini wailed. Just then they heard the sound of a car’s horn. Preet looked outside window and saw a cab has come and Neil was putting his luggage into it. “Mini, Neil is going….dont you want to see him last time….baat mat karna…durr se dekh lena.” Preet suggested. Mini nodded in yes as finally the fact that Neil will be gone in few minutes sunk in. Mini ran out of the room. She came to the stairs and watched Neil taking out his luggage one by one. Mini kept looking him as if transfixed into the moment. Suddenly she saw herself leaving the house in place of Neil as she remembered the moment when she went to Australia leaving her parents. Mini was rooted to her place as whole scene played before her eyes like a movie. She saw herself leaving, tears in her eyes…desperate plea of her heart that her babes and Hanuman uncle should stop her somehow and same desperate pleading in their hearts that somebody stop their daughter from going. But none of them listened to their heart. Mini left the house. Then scene shifted to her lonely days in Australia…how she missed her family…then that fateful day when she was in Manali and she got the news that her parents have met with an accident. How she spend whole night in hospital praying for their well being. She remembered the panic she experienced when doctor said that it was very difficult to save them. Mini had hugged all her friends and said that she loves them as she felt that feelings should not be kept bottled up. One should say it when they have time because we don’t know anything about life. Later doctor has informed them that Babita and Hanuman were out of danger. Mini had sighed in relief and the very first thing she did was to tell them how much she loved them. The flash back finished and Mini came out of trance. She looked at Neil and realized that she is again going to make the same mistake. Neil was about to go with the last bag when Mini shouted, “Neil, ruk jao please.” Neil turned around to look at Mini. She came running to him and threw herself at him. Neil at first was taken aback but then finally hugged her back. “Don’t go Neil…please don’t go. You said you don’t have any reason to stay…this is not true…stay for me…I love you Neil…I love you so much….I know you only consider me as your friend but please give a chance to this relationship….please stay for me….main janti hoon mujhe tumhe rokne ka koi haq nahi hai….” Mini trailed off as Neil put a finger on her lips. “Tumhe hi toh saare haq hain Mini….mujhe rokne ka…mujhe pyar karne ka….mere sath life spend karne ka….because I love you too….I have always loved you but couldn’t say anything because of my past.” Neil also confessed his love. Both of them hugged each other tightly not even bothering about the other people present in the room. Arya looked at them and blushed. She hid her face in her mumma’s dupatta. Bobby whistled for them while Preet cheered. Naeem bi blessed them. Hanuman Singh just smiled looking at them but Babita was fuming with anger. “Ye nahi ho sakta…ye rishta mujhe manjoor nahi hai.” Babita said as she pulled Mini away from Neil. “What are you saying babes? Why you cant accept this relationship?” asked Mini surprised. “Because he is a divorcee. Society will always call you a home breaker and second woman in his life.” Babita made her point clear and Dadu Biji supported her. Before Mini could say anything Hanuman Singh spoke,“Makaan malkin ji..ye kya ulti seedhi baatein kar rahi hain aap? Aapki jagah aur koi hota toh main samajh sakta tha par aap….aapne toh khud jhela hai aisi situation ko…aap toh jaanti hain…samajhti hain sab.” “Meri baat alag thi. Aapki pehli patni ki death ho chuki thi siliye mujhpe koi ghar todne ka iljaam nahi laga paaya….aur phir Mini mere sath thi…ek bacchi ki maaka ka hath aur kaun tham ta? Par Mini abhi young hai unmarried hai aur iske aage puri zindagi padi hai…ise toh koi bhi ladka mil jayega phir ise divorcee se hi kyu shadi karni hai?” Babita asked. “Nigodi, kaisi baatein kar rahi hai? Shadi na hui mano majaak ho gaya….Neil divorcee hai to kya hua…kya wo ek achha insaan nahi hai? Tujhe life mein dusra mauka mila toh kya Neil ko uska haq nahi hai?” Naeem bi tried to make her understand. “But why should Mini make compromise in life to give second chance to Neil. He is free to move on in life but why we marry off our grand daughter to him?” asked Dadu. “Waah ji waah…matlab Bhagat Singh paida ho lekin apne nahi padosi ke ghar mein….kya logic hai aap logo ka….jab Babita ji ki dusri shadi ki baat aayi thi toh aapne bada support kiya tha…kyu…kyunki aapke khud ke bête ne inhe dhoka diya tha…aapke sar par wo paap ka bojh tha jise aap utarna chahte the inka ghar phirse basa ke…tab toh aapne badi badi baatein ki thi…meri tareefe ki thi main bahut mahaan hoon jo aapki bahu aur poti ko apna raha hoon….ab jab aapki poti kisi ladke ko wahi mauka dena chahti hai to wo compromise ho gaya aapke liye? Kyu?” matlab aapko kisi ko dusra maka dene se aitraaz nahi hai bas apne ghar ki beti aisa kare usse problem hai." Hanuman Singh asked the logical question. “Our case was different. I was divorced. You were a widower so we were kind of equal.” Babita expressed her hesitation. “Really babes? Is there a  rule that a divorcee or widower should only re marry a girl who is also either divorcee or widow? It’s not about divorce or second marriage babes….you are missing the whole point here….its about giving second chances to life….Some people are lucky enough to find their soulmate in first attempt while others are not. Neil was not the lucky one. He loved Isha and it turned out to be a mistake….then he met me…we are soul mate babes….made for each other….koi fark nahi padta ki Neil ki shadi ho chuki hai ek bar….he is legally free to start his life again.” Mini explained. “But…society…” Babita again tried to argue but Hanuman Singh requested her, “Makaan Malkin ji bas karo….bahut ho gaya ab…society ke darr se aap kab tak apna aur apne parivar ka nuksaan karte rahoge….ye Veer Balika sari life apke sath khadi rahi…ladti rahi is society se…ab aapki bari hai…ise support karne ki usi society ke against….aapko dikhai nahi deta kya…ye dono bacche kitna pyar karte hain ek dusre se….ho jane do inhe ek….de do apna aashirwaad….aapko mere pyar ki kasam.” Hanuman said as he took Babita’s hands in his and pleaded again. “Haan, mumma ho jane do na Veer Balika aur Geanie ki shadi.” Arya also requested. Babita saw Mini and Neil and determination in their eyes. Finally Babita had to agree. She looked at Mini. she could see happiness in her eyes so Babita decided to finally let go of her fears. “But, I will only allow Neil here if you two are ready to get marry as soon as possible.”Babita said and everyone agreed to her. Soon dates of Miniel wedding were fixed for next week. Babita didn’t want to give any chance to the society to say anything against Mini. So she asked Neil to shift at Bobby’s house for a week. Mini and Neil’s haldi ceremony came. Haveli was decorated with yellow flowers and everyone was wearing a yellow dress for the event. Mini was sitting in the middle of the hall wearing light yellow sleevless salwar kurta. Everyone put haldi on Mini while Arya emptied the whole utensil fill of haldi on Mini stating that she will look very beautiful after it. Mini ran in the whole house after Arya to catch her. When she finally did she took her in her arms and colored her with the haldi too. After haldi Mehndi ceremony was the next, “Toh Mini, kya likhwayegi ke apne haatho par? Janu, darling ya honey?” Preet teased her. “Iski koi jarurat nahi hai…simply Neil likh do chalega.” Mini replied. “Where should I write it?” asked Preet. “Write anywhere but cover it with complicated design so that he wont be able to find it.” Answered Mini. “Why?” asked Preet. “Arre you don’t know? It’s a ritual yaar. He has to find his name on my hands on our first night and if he win I have to gift him something.” Mini explained. “Then I should write it very large and clear so that he will find it quickly.” Said Preet. “But why? you wantme to lose?” asked Mini. “Arre stupid agar jyada hi chhupa diya toh kahi aisa na ho ki wo bechara puri raat apna naam hi dhundta reh jaye aur kuch kar hi na paye.” Preet laughed while Mini hit her playfully. After Mehndi Sangeet ceremony. Neil and Mini both were present in Haveli. Suddenly lights were off and flash light fall on Babita. She was dressed in typical Punjabi Patiala suit of Pink and contrast orange. Mini looked at her as music started to play and she began to dance. All light came back and song started- Mehndi hai rachnewaaliHaathon mein gehri laaliKahe sakhiyaan ab kaliyaanHaathon mein khilnewaali hainTere mann ko jeevan koNayi khushiyaan milne waali haiO hariyali bannoLe jaane tujhko guiyaanAane waale hai saiyaanTha amenge aake baiyaanGoonjegi shehnaayiAngnaayi angnaayi Babita danced to the beats as she put her hands on her waist and moved it with the rhythm. Mini looked at her babes and couldn’t stop her happy tears. It was true that she would have married Neil even if everyone else opposed it but marrying the love of your life with the support of family was something every girls dreams of. Babita pulled Biji, Naeem bi, Preet, Rani and Arya with her on the dance floor and all of them danced together in same steps celebrating Mini’s happiness. Gaaye maiya aur mausiGaaye behna aur bhabhiKe mehndi khil jaayeRang laaye hariyaali banniGaaye phoofi aur chaachiGaaye naani aur daadiKe mehndi mann bhaayeSaj jaaye hariyaali banniMehndi roop sanwaareO mehndi rang nikhaare hoHariyaali banni ke aanchalMein utrenge taareinMehndi hai rachnewaaliHaathon mein gehri laaliKahe sakhiyaan ab kaliyaanHaathon mein khilnewaali hainTere mann ko jeevan koNayi khushiyaan milnewaali hai Soon their dance was over and everyone started cheering for Mini and Neil to perform on the song. Though Neil initially tried to say no but then he looked at Mini who pleaded him to say yes, Neil agreed. He asked for Mini’s hand and took her to the middle of the hall. The song started to play- Main Agar Saamne Aa Bhi Jaaya KaroonLaazmi Hai Ki Tum Mujhse Parda KaroApni Shaadi Ke Din Ab Nahin Door HaiMain Bhi Tadpa Karoon Tum Bhi Tadpa Karon Neil turned Mini and pulled her towards him with a jerk but Mini brought her duppatta between them uing it as a veil. Neil turned around but then Mini stopped him dropping her veil Badi Mushkil Hai Yeh Mera Dil HaiBadi Mushkil Hai Yeh Mera Dil HaiTum Hi Kaho Kaise Mein Chup Rahoo Neil again tried to hug her when Mini pushed him playfully and tried to run. Neil hold her choti and pulled it a little to tease her. Mini became angry and warned him to leave her choti Satane Ke Manane Ke Yeh Din Hai Aazmaane KeZara Samjha Karo Dilbar Tumhe Meri Kasam Mini came towards him and slowly freed her choti from his hold. Neil held her by waist and Mini was lost in his eyes. She wanted to hug him and kiss him but she knew everyone was present here so she just kept looking in his eyes longingly Yehi Meri Hai Majboori Sahi Jaaye Na Ab DooriMera Kya Haal Hai Kaise Bataaon Sanam Neil turned her around and hugged her from behind as they swayed with the music.Neil held her hand and moved it upwards then closed it in a promise. Zameen Hogi Gagan Hoga Tera Mera Milan Hoga Main Agar Tum Se Nazren Milaaya KaronLaazmi Hai Ki Tum Mujhse Parda Karo Apni Shaadi Ke Din Ab Nahin Door HaiMain Bhi Tadpa Karoon Tum Bhi Tadpa Karon Babita could see her daughter was so much in love with Neil and he too seemed totally engrossed in her love. She wiped her tears as she first time felt the depth of their feelings and realized that they were indeed made for each other and she could not have seperated them. Finally the day of their marriage came. Neil was sitting in the mandap wearing cream colour sherwani and indo western pants. He had red turban on his head. Panditji called for bride. Babita came in Mini’s room to take her to the mandap. Mini was dressed in red lenhga with golden border. Her hair was tied in a high bun and she was wearing heavy work golden dupatta on her head. Babita took som ekajal and put it around Mini’s ear, “Kahi nazar na lag jaye meri Minni ko.” Babita said as she had happy tears in her eyes. Mini hugged her babes, “Thank you babes for agreeing for this marriage.” Mini sobbed. “Offo Veer Balika, mumma aap log kitna rote ho…Veer Balika tumhara pura makeup kharab ho jayega phir Neil tumse shadi nahi karega.” Arya said as she tried to drag them to the mandap. Mini and Babita both laughed at her antics. Mini saw Arya was just looking like her replica or small version of her in exact same kind of lehnga and dupatta. Babita held Mini’s one hand while Arya held her other hand and they both took her to the mandap. Neil saw his bride and forgto to breathe. She was looking gorgeous in that red lehnga her ethereal beauty was captivating him in its charm. She came and sat on his left side. Both of them looked at each other and panditji started chanting mantras. Panditji called Hanuman for kanyadan. He came and completed the rituals as he handed over Mini’s hand to Neil, “Waise toh ye meri VeerBalika hai par kabhi kabhi na bahut emotional ho jati hai….kamjor pad jati hai.Tum iska hamesha sath dena. Ise sari mushkilo se bachakar rakhna.” Hanuman said and wiped his tears. “Don’t worry, apni jaan se bhi jyada sambhal kar rakhunga aapki Veer Balika ko.” Neil promised. After that panditji asked Neil to fill Mini’s mang and tie mangal sutra around her neck. Neil did that all the while looking into Mini’s eyes. Their eyes communicated their emotions for each other. Words were not needed at that moment. Soon they stood up to take seven pheras and became man and wife. They took the blessings of all elders. Babita brought Mini to her room. “I know you are nervous. Every girl goes from this situation. But you have to trust your love and don’t let your fears overshadow your mind as you are starting your new life today.” Babita said and Mini nodded nervously. Just then Neil came in the room. He knocked at the door to gain their attention. “Neil, come…I was about to..go” Babita said and started to leave when Arya came running there. “Mumma today I will sleep with Veer Balika and Neil.” Arya declared. Babita gasped while Mini and Neil laughed. “Arya, no baccha you cannot sleep here. Come lets go.” Babita tried to take her away but Arya was adamant not ot go anywhere. Finally Babita had to promise her that she will allow Arya to eat her favorite chocolates for one whole week to make her leave the room. Neil closed the door and prayed now nobody would disturb them. He came close to Mini. She turned around nervously and gripped the railing of bed to control her heart which started beating so loud and fast that she feared Neil would hear it. Neil turned her around and made her look into his eyes. “Thank you so much, for coming into my life….for saving me from darkness and fulfilling my life with bright rays of happiness.” Neil said and kissed her forehead. Soon Mini lose her inhibition and closed her eyes to savor the feeling and his closeness.Finally they were together with the blessings of her parents and now nobody could sepearte them or point finger on their relation. From now on they will live every moment in each others arms. Mini hugged him and they kept standing like that for some time trying to revel in the feeling that their love won at the end. The journey of their love was completed today. Neil pulled Mini and cupped her face. Mini dropped. her eyelids understanding whats going on in his mind. Neil leaned down and kissed her on the lips marking the beginning of their togetherness. Mini lost herself in his love filled kiss and started responding him. Neil lifted her up and took her to the bed to claim her as his bride in every sense. The End. Anjali0111
http://jodifiction.blogspot.com/2020/06/mineil-os-tera-mera-pyar-patiala-babes.html
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