#“what? you find that offensive and uncomfortable? fuck you im asexual and i get to decide what is and isnt canonically aroace” okay

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Oh boy it sure is nice not being alloromantic/allosexual enough to be "normal" but also not aromantic/asexual enough to be a good aromantic/aspec person (:

Sure is nice to finally have a community I totally fit into, everyone is SO welcoming

[notafeeling]

hullo here's the Longass Brooklyn Nine Nine Sanders Sides AU One Person Asked For and I Desperately Wanted an Excuse to Do ahhhHHH ive talked about this so many times but im happy to do it again because i love both these fandoms GENERAL: - they work in new york at the ninety ninth precinct as detectives - the youngest is roman, followed by virgil, then patton and then logan - thomas is in this AU but not as a detective PATTON: - think charles "washing your partner's hair is the most romantic thing you can do with your fingers" mother-hen boyle - ...minus his tendencies to talk about his frankly disgusting sex life. - he loves everyone and would do anything to protect them. even if that means taking a bullet for them. he's ALWAYS on virgil's side no matter what, and would follow him to the ends of the earth - oh my god okay virgil and patton having a jake-rosa type friendship. they met in the academy and have been looking out for each other ever since. - the only time anyone's seen patton angry is when virgil got shot. the wound wasn't too bad - more of a graze really - but he had to be held back for charging after the shooter unarmed - patton seems innocent, but nothing slips past him. the arrestees try to make fun of him but he never cracks. - one time he just talked about his day with someone he arrested in the interrogation room until they finally give up and confess to "STOP HEARING ABOUT FUCKING RAINBOWS" - he's one of the best at getting confessions, but the worst at anything athletic. he has two left feet, but is scarily accurate with a gun. (the others don't know this, and patton refuses to tell them.) - he's single but wants a kid. logan doesn't know, but when he leaves his office patton sneaks in to talk to his son (explained later) - veryyyy pan and open about it relationships: - virgil, i've already discussed. they're the tightest best friends (and most protective) that you've ever seen. patton adores virgil and often, finds him crashing at his place at 3 in the morning. patton doesn't mind, since it means virgil has finally given in and quit working for the day. - with roman, patton isn't as intense with his worrying but he is ALWAYS concerned about him. patton hates seeing him get hurt - and even worse, getting shit for being gay. patton has gotten quite a few close-minded cops fired. often, patton's the only one roman will turn to when he's going through a rough patch. - patton respects logan. it took a while for them to warm up to each other but now it's not uncommon to see pat seated inside logan's office (who has tried and failed to get patton to call him Captain Sanders. pat may be respectful but "captain" isn't in his vocabulary unless it's applied to pirates") LOGAN: - the captain of the detective squad. he was the newest addition to the ro-pat-virge friendship and took the longest to get along with them. - he's very much a holt - a frickin genius, bad at expressing emotions but understands them and incredibly... extra. - he loves annoying roman because his detective often has no clue he's doing it on purpose. virgil has more of an idea, but he's still clueless in logan's opinion. - for someone so strict, he's incredibly relaxed when it comes to any of the three using his office for games such as "who can do the most accurate and offensive impression of one of the other suckers outside this room" - more often than not he's walked in to see roman moving robotically and using sophisticated words... incorrectly. that bugs logan more than the terrible robot impression. - he loves puzzles and analysing people. however, he's slightly ashamed of the fact that he has a psychology degree. - logan's divorced and has a fifteen year old kid named thomas. rarely - very rarely - the others catch a glimpse of the teen being brought into his office by a strange woman and logan trying his best to entertain the kid all day. his worst fear is thomas being hurt because of him - he's asexual and demi(homo)romantic, but he's not open about it. he's only told roman - and that was when ro convinced him to go to the annual precinct party and he got a little drunk. relationships: - he trusts patton the most, but is closest with roman. something about his infuriating detective makes him interested in hearing whatever dramatic adventure roman went on that day. plus, he's incredibly fun and easy to get riled up. through roman's influence he's allowed himself to get closer with everyone and relax a tiny smidge. - patton, he adores. the detective is so bubbly and so much more complex than logan originally credited. patton insists on heart-to-hearts which end up with logan revealing the truth about thomas and patton saying he already knew, and explaining that he always plays with him. logan admires patton's charisma, but loathes how easily he trusts everyone. one day, patton's gonna get hurt doing that. - with virgil, they're the Salty Bros. logan finds himself sharing virgil's dislike of small talk and worry over patton. they think he'll be taken advantage of. anyways, he walked in one of virgil's panic attacks and talked him through it. ever since, virgil goes to him if not patton and logan closes his blinds and shuts his office for the rest of the day. no one is allowed in unless it's life or death as he cares for virge as delicately as possible. virgil's the second to be (accidentally) introduced to his kid because of this. VIRGIL: - he's the hardest working out of the lot of them and, when trying to solve a particularly tough case, almost refuses to go home. by day three patton intervenes and drags him to his house and forces him to sleep. - he hates people getting hurt. he blames himself every single time - it's a habit that logan tries to get him out of. patton doesn't know (or so he thinks) and roman, well, roman's the same. - virgil's sort of like an amy/gina fusion (discussed with sam). he starts off not really caring about anyone apart from patton who he's known forever, but now he'd die for them. often, he tries to take bullets (both literally and figuratively) for them. roman hates this and once, the time virgil got hit, he took refused to look at him until he finally exploded and yelled at him for risking himself like that - logan and patton steered clear of that argument and let them work it out. it ended with ro and virge crying but reconciled. - virgil is uncomfortable around young kids because he's afraid he'll somehow hurt them or teach them a new swear, but with teenagers he knows to either let them rant or mutually ignore each other on their phones. (it doesn't apply to thomas though - which struck virgil as odd. maybe more on that later?) - he's... not straight. that's all he knows and everyone thinks he's just closed about it, but they know he's not straight too. relationships: - closest with patton and trusts him the most. they've kissed once in the rush of the moment and it frustrates him that patton never brings it up (but then again, that's such a relief because virgil can't deal with emotions). above all, they're best friends. have been for what feels like forever. virgil loves patton more than anything (take that any way you want because virge can't tell which way it is either) - he and roman are the dramatic pair. somehow there's always Something crazy to talk about whenever they see each other. roman is like a brother to virgil - they fight, sure, but at the end of the day, they would kill anyone who hurt the other. - he loves complaining about things with logan. he also loves teasing him over every little thing - but logan returns it with sniping comebacks. virgil loves these. he helps logan stop stressing and is often the one who invites him out to places, knowing what it feels like to be excluded. he rants about the State of the World™ and logan pitches in with his own bits of wisdom. to virgil, logan is a comforting presence. he seems invincible to virgil (until the day thomas insults logan out of Teen Angst™™™ and his captain shuts off completely, unmoving and unable to stop virgil panicking). ROMAN: - athletic, sassy and incredibly talented. he was the first to the precinct but is the youngest (but shhh, the others are unaware considering he refuses to have a birthday party). he's the tallest though, and loves teasing them for it. - he may be gay af but he flirts with anyone his age, and often virgil or logan has to drag roman away from the holding cell ("i was just asking for proof of identity!" "you asked for his number." "...his social security number!!!") - He Has A Boyfriend (no one knows who it is. it's an open polyamorous relationship and boyfriend singular is an understatement. they'll stop by but because it's not the same consistent boyfriend the others just haven't made the connection) - he's only been broken up with once. it was his first ever longterm boyfriend, and it was a few months after he became apart of the ninety-ninth precinct. virgil saw and that's how that started talking - with virge awkwardly comforting a stranger shoving chocolate into his mouth. - roman once had to go undercover but only logan knows this (since he knows everything about everyone, not because he sent ro on it). when he came back, patton was the newest member of the squad and virgil hung around him and only him. it was lonely as fuck, but roman had learnt during his time undercover that your real emotions could never be shown. he employs dramatic gestures and sugared words to destroy the memories of the things he's done. if the world loves him, maybe he'll love himself one day. relationships: - he and virgil have since reconnected. roman lied about why he was gone for so long and virge let the topic drop. he goes to virgil to help patch him up after a chase because he knows his friend wouldn't spill. roman's bitter about virgil's relationship with patton because he was replaced, but he won't say anything. he has to be a good friend. virgil needs more support than he does, in roman's opinion. - he gifts logan puzzles with thousands of pieces. they take forever to find but he loves seeing the stoic captain smile. roman's the only one to call him captain, but nowadays he doesn't do it as often. his method of relieving logan's stress involves gossiping and trying to throw dance parties in his office. logan is the only one he trusts to talk about Memories™ with, because somehow, his captain always knows the right thing to say. - him and patton are like two peas in a pod. they're always coming up with crazy ideas and they both care so much about everything and everyone. he doesn't blame patton for virgil being better friends with him than ro, but when he and pat go out and he gets reallyyyy drunk, he tells him how much it hurts sometimes (among other things that roman doesnt remember revealing about himself in the morning) THOMAS: - he was only 12 when his parents got divorced. he mostly lives with his mum. she complains about logan a lot, so over the years he's gotten a negative opinion of him. however, recently he's started seeing his father more because he LOVES the police station. - he especially loves patton, who brings him cookies. virgil strikes him as odd but once they found they shared their love of MCR, thomas actually slips out of logan's office to seek him out. - he's actually very sweet when it comes down to it. with patton, he refuses to swear and with virgil, he swears to tell v off for swearing. a week before christmas he gives patton a bear from build-a-bear and virgil purple earphones, but he does so by leaving them on logan's desk as he and logan leave for the day, because he knows patton lets himself in and would see it and give virgil his present. - he wants to be a doctor when he grows up. he really likes helping people but also, a small part of him wants to be able to take care of his dad should the need arise. - thomas also is Aware of everything relationship-wise in the precinct (aside for anything about roman, who he still hasn't met yet.)

[asexual-society]

So, I'm an ace girl (questioning romantic) and a friend of mine recently came out as bi and he has a crush on a boy and all this. He knows Im ace, but never understands what it is correctly (so you dont want to have sex) but he never really lets me explain. So I asked him abt if he thought that aro ppl belong in the community (and he didn't let me explain properly) so he says: I dont think so bc not wanting to kiss people isnt an orientation (same goes for ace) and I felt really hurt but (1/2)

(2/3) I didnt say anything to him bc hes new in the community and i dont want to start criticizing him for idk i just really dont want to offend/bother him. It just made me feel really bad bc I helped him w/ everything abt understanding his sexuality and the community and he just never even listens to me, and when I first came out he told me I was too young to know (we’re both fucking 13 I know maybe I’m too young but that didn’t stop him, did it? Plus, labels change. And im comfortable w/ ace.)

(3/3) Third part of the 13 yr old drama, just wanted to say, sorry for the ranting and feel free to ingore pls. I know im just a child and that i sound ridiculous

——

I hate to say this, but it doesn’t sound like this guy is a very good friend. And not just because he doesn’t understand asexuality or think that ace/aro people belong in lgbt spaces, that’s aphobia. But from what you’ve written, it sounds like he’s self-centered and doesn’t listen to or even try to understand what you’re saying to him. You helped him figure out his sexuality and supported him, but he can’t take the time to listen to you explain your own? That’s bullshit. 

As someone who was walked all over for most of my life by ‘friends’, let me tell you this now, you don’t have to have everyone like you. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. You don’t have to be polite all the time. Especially when they don’t seem to care about your feelings or are hurting you in any way.

If you really want to continue a friendship with this guy, you have to talk to him about how he’s made you feel. Maybe he’ll listen and change his mind or he’ll try to make an effort to listen to you more. Who cares if he feels a little uncomfortable? How would you explaining asexuality be offensive to him anyway?

If he brushes you off or whatever, then he’s probably not worth being friends with. It’s not just the sexuality stuff either. This just seems like a red flag. If someone is always dismissive of you and/or they only want to talk to you about themselves and their problems, then they are not good friends and it’s better to get out of the relationship early or distance yourself from them, instead of later when it’ll hurt more. You’ll find better friends.

P.S. You sound like you know a lot about the lgbtqia+ community and have way more self-awareness than I had at your age. And you’re right, you are NOT too young to know your own sexuality. A lot of people know that they’re straight, gay, trans, or bi at young ages. Why not ace as well?

I hope some of this might help. Feel free to ignore it, if not. Good luck, kiddo!

Mod Britt

[seagreenflowers]

for your consideration this pride month:

A non-binary, bisexuals probably homophobic opinions on gender and sexuality

for starters, i’d like to say this is just my personal opinion and i don’t expect anyone to actually read this other than maybe one friend i have on tumblr and people i specifically send it to, but in the event that this blows up because ya know, it’s the internet: I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s gender expression, sexuality, person opinions, labels, or thoughts on the community. this is just how i personally view everything concerning LGBT from my lived experiences.

to begin, i think that there are two main opinions from people in and outside the community over the number of labels we use and they generally fall into these categories either: “we have too many, these fucking snowflakes” and “i don’t really care, you do you” there are very, very few actually “”snowflakes”” that use the terminology we’ve all seen and had opinions about. therefore, why is it still in use? why do they have their own pride days in the month? well, from what i can see, my best guess is the definitions of everything are very muddled and the minute differences are expanded upon in ways that simply do not make sense to me.

for example, the sheer number of words we have for an attraction to multiple genders, while they all have their own differences, why can there not just be an umbrella term and people describe their individual sexual desires to the people they need to define it to. just to make my case here’s the words i’ve found:

bisexual

pansexual

omnisexual

polysexual

queer

all of these words have a basic meaning of attraction to more than one gender that it is inconceivable to me why we need all of them. if there’s discourse around how bisexual doesn’t just mean two, then why does poly exist? and if there’s discussion about bisexuals not always have a gender preference then why do pan and omni have distinctions? to me personally, in a perfect world, we need zero labels, but how we live today, we need the labels. if straights and gays aren’t equal and we take away the distinctions, they’ll never be equal. but stemming from that, i have qualms with words like this that feel like preferences over an actual distinction in sexuality. because the argument from the community (which i 100% agree with) is that you don’t Choose sexuality, things that feel like Choosing demean the entire system. things like bi where you see gender feel to me like “when looking for a partner, i Choose based on gender” definitionally and maybe that’s a misinterpretation of the word choice because in dating and sex everyone has to experience choice, that’s consent, but really you fall in and out of want instead of saying “i’m looking for a 5’4 blonde girl that has freckles” because as much as you can have a wish list it will never be fulfilled in the way you intend because people don’t bend to specifications. and maybe that thought process of not looking for a gender or a set of attributes makes me pan, but that’s not how i identify, so this is where we get to the point. if people don’t identify with the words that most describe how they actually feel because there’s another word that explains them, why do the words exist in the first place!

this is why it took me 4 years to actually come to the conclusion that i was bi. 1. because of the sheer number of words to describe how i was feeling but 2. if bisexuals can have any split between male and female attraction (doesn’t have to just be male and female but for examples sake) if i am not split 50/50 that would fall into the realm of poly and omni. and 3. girls are cute but are girls like date cute or are girls just like delicate cute (but that’s beside the point)

now i think i continue to beat a dead horse if i go into discussions about asexuality and all of its subgroups 1. because i’ve proven my point with multiple gendered love and 2. that’s not my community i would get something wrong and that’s not my intention. but GENDER!! FUN!!

so anyway that i go into this is going to sound offensive and it will get kind of rude but it’s out of pure inability to comprehend most of this. if someone wants to educate me, go right ahead.

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GENDER IDENTITY AND GENDER EXPRESSION

gender identity is the gender you feel. the sex. male, female, non-binary.

gender Expression is how you interpret that label. things like demi girl and gender fluid feel in this category to me because you Cannot in any case change gender day to day. period.

you are allowed to dress more masculine and feel more comfortable masculine one day and feel more comfortable feminine another. that’s not your gender changing!!!!! that’s just PREFERENCES!!!!!!! that’s Choice!!!!!!

what i’ve always understood in my heart the way to tell if you’re feeling a shift in expression or in identity is these 3 categories: perception, privates, personality. the three Ps (i did just come up with this)

are you worried or uncomfortable with someone using a certain name or set of language that hints to gender (such as queen v king) [the pronoun discussion is for later i don’t find it appropriate to include it here] this is perception

do you dislike something being a part of your body, not because you find it ugly, uncomfortable, or unnecessary but because you Want the Parts of Another Sex. for example there’s a difference in “oh i wish i didn’t have a uterus because i hate periods” and “i wish i didn’t have a uterus because the thought of that being a part of my body makes me feel sick because i want *male anatomy*” that is privates

and finally, personality. just because you’re a tomboy doesnt make you trans. just because you like dresses or skirts as a boy, doesn’t make you trans. everyone’s personality and individualism is what makes this difficult. you’re allowed to have interests that are “of the opposite gender” that don’t make you trans.

and something that i feel is an important distinction and will lead us into the pronouns portion, and this sounds rude but it’s not, it’s the truth. there are a lot more people that claim ftm than mtf. there just simply are, and the problem with that arises with a lot of women are upset about the condition of being a woman in today’s society, with all the pressures, expectations, lack of rights, etc etc that they would rather be perceived as a man. they would rather be a man to avoid the constant taunting of women and as much as that’s relatable, being fed up with the human condition of womanhood DOES NOT MAKE YOU TRANS. all of the “she/they non-binaries” that arise today that have no problems with being identified as a woman in public, that have no want to change their physical bodies because they want the ones of the opposite sex, and act Like A Woman *are not really trans* because that demeans every aspect of what it Actually means to be trans and honestly it’s kind of insulting to be someone that experiences extreme gender dysphoria to just see people with the desire to be less of a woman out of, here’s this again, Choice, when really they’re mad about society. and oh boy is it completely valid to be mad about the conditions of women, and it is valid to identify as she/they or he/they. it’s just, the distinction between people that actually experience gender dysphoria and the ones that don’t like the way that boobs make the world interact with them.

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK ARE NEOPRONOUNS????? i don’t get it. i’ve never understood it and i don’t think i ever will but like, bold claim, furries and otherkins aren’t Part of the lgbt community???? and i might be mislead on what neopronouns actually are but the only time i’ve seen them actually used are in cases with otherkins and the like wanting to be referred to as pronouns that correspond with their *preferred species* which is a whole other can of snowflake worms that i don’t have time to get into today but like,,,in my humble opinion, i feel as tho he she and they kinda cover the spectrum. you’re fem identifying, she/her. boom, solved. ur masc identifying he/him. lovely, awesome. you feel in between, they/them. great. excellent. you have kinship with both femininity and androgyny she/they (or vice versa he/they) but like IM NOT CALLING SOMEONE LIKE “”BUNSELF”” CAUSE YOURE A BUNNY. THATS NOT HOW LANGUAGE WORKS???? this is only a phenomenon of the english language because most latin languages DONT EVEN HAVE A THEY/THEM FOR EVERYDAY CONVERSATIONS. and we have the AUDACITY to come up with this stuff???? i don’t- i don’t get it. like i speak spanish (i’m not a native, i’m still learning so don’t roast me if i say something incorrect) and it’s nearly impossible to find a way to refer to yourself as a they/them because the words simply don’t exist. i’m lucky enough to be okay with he/him pronouns but in languages and cultures were every single thing you interact with is labeled with a gender there’s simply no time to come up with and incorporate things like Neopronouns when we can’t even find a way to express the basics in another language... and the whole point of the LGBT community is to be inclusive to everyone no matter their sexuality, gender, race, ethnic background etc etc but this is something that quite blatantly leaves out most of the World.

anyway, these are some of my opinions. feel free to ask questions and ignore typos. once again i’m open to education, but this has been my ted talk.

[zeetheus]

So, here’s a recap of the entire situation

From start to finish.

Because, believe me, I had no idea my ban would lead to 2 other completely innocent people getting banned for, essentially, asking staff what happened, and then expressing the desire to talk to them about it.

Not exaggerating.

On May 5th 2017, my Extremely Straight mom was being pushy, asking me about my OCs. For those unaware, the OCs in question are:

A nonwhite nonbinary aromantic bisexual with ASPD

A nonwhite asexual whose romantic orientation is a hashtag Mess, who has depression, anxiety, OCD, and is autistic

The above OCs are in a queerplatonic relationship

(This is important, I promise)

So after escaping to my laptop, I go on Quixol to try and decompress, and start off by expressing my general exhaustion and discomfort. A reasonable person who is part of the staff of a LGBT+ & ND safe server would, hopefully, take that as a disclaimer that I had been through Garbage, and had no energy.

So after having to literally physically escape an uncomfortable discussion with my mom, and after literally telling chat about the situation, I’m directly concern-trolled for calling my queerplatonic OCs, ‘queer’?

Once?

When there’s a perfectly serviceable blacklist on this very server?

(Minor note: I’m aware that Blake’s pronouns are it/its, however, I had typoed ‘pals’ into ‘pal’ & I apologize for that small misunderstanding)

So anyways, that sucked, and dealing with everything that happened that afternoon had destroyed my energy for a week. Clearly staff had made their stance clear, even if I didn’t agree with it.

I decided not to use ‘queer’ on that server, or at the very least not towards anyone who 1) wasn’t queer, and 2) might give me shit for even saying that word, even if I’m not mislabeling anyone. Such as, the staff.

So, I don’t use it.

Flash forward to late November of 2017.

I’m on my twitter, tweeting tweets, which are mostly meant for me, because it’s my gotdamn twitter account. I tweet a lot of junk, RT a lot of fandom garbage, and sometimes, when something triggers me, I try to unpack my abuse.

I’d like to make it clear right now that I never listed my twitter under my Bio (or at the very least, had never intended to. I don’t remember whether or not I put it there, and if I did, my mistake) and have only given my twitter url out once. The only connection my twitter had to Quixol was by following the Quixol twitter.

Over the course of a few weeks I tweeted out some ~*spicy*~ Opinions, which, you’re free to disagree with me about, especially since it’s fucking twitter, which has a character limit, so a lot of my word choice had to be downsized to fit in a fuckin 280 character text box.

On top of that I’m not even a Public LGBTQ+ Wank Persona, so I had no incentive to hash things out step-by-step to my... 10 followers. By all accounts, my tweets are, by their very nature, inconsequential to anyone except my followers.

(My account was not locked at the time, but I understandably later did so)

Anyways, in order:

This one was pretty clearly about Quixol, but I should probably state for the record that I had no idea ‘queer’ in MANY DIFFERENT ITERATIONS had been exhaustively banned from signs, so I had no idea it wasn’t physically possible to properly spell out ‘genderqueer’ without censoring it in some fashion.

Anyways, continuing with my ~*spicy opinions*~

I mentioned before how I was essentially abused by people I trusted for not being acceptably gay. I don’t know how ‘I’m not gay and I don’t need to be, I’m happy with being aro ace’ is a statement so vile that gay people everywhere take immense offense to it, to the point where staff finds it a bannable offense...

By the way, yes, I did get banned for these.

Because days after I was banned, staff approached Vin about my banning, of their own volition.

At the end of the day, Vin had planned to write out an essay, so that they could have a reasonable discussion with staff.

I wasn’t too Thrilled at the prospect of trying to have a discussion with people who intentionally villainized me, took my words out of context, and made the worst possible interpretations out of them, but I supported Vin’s idea.

However, she was in the middle of college finals, and preparing for chanukkah, so she couldn’t get right back around to it for another week.

Note that at this point Vin had not been contacted by staff due to her own behavior, past actions, without even a mention of her tumblr or its content.

THIS IS EXTREMELY CRUCIAL INFORMATION.

IF THEY HAD REASON TO BAN VIN FOR ANYTHING, WHY DID THEY CONTACT VIN ABOUT MY BAN FIRST?

But anyways, let’s cut to 8 days later, because I certainly couldn’t log into Quixol and subsequently do anything.

And in that time, neither could Vin.

I wasn’t surprised at this point. Staff had made it plain and clear to me that if they had a mild enough reason to ban you, they’ll find whatever evidence they need in order to finalize it.

FOUR POSTS, YALL. FOUR POSTS AND SHE GOES FROM ‘ONE OF THE MOST ACTIVE AND BELOVED COMMUNITY MEMBERS’ TO ‘A BONA FIDE THREAT TO PEOPLE ON QUIXOL, WORTH BANNING.’

The four posts in question will be linked later, for now, continuing:

So... it’s not actually about protecting people on the server, it’s about... finding people that agree with your particular flavor of “LGBT+” politics?

R...really?

Where is the actual harm that Vin has done on the server to warrant being banned?

Shit, what about me? What tangible, material harm did my tweets, squirreled away on my own separate twitter, that no one follows me on, do to anyone on the server?

Anyways it doesn’t end here, because in this chain of bullshit, someone else went down trying to ask staff “why for the love of god did you ban Vin?”

Screenshots (Warning, it’s 65 pages long)

All four posts that Vin was banned over are included as well.

But if you’re interested in my personal highlight reel:

ah yes, a non-ace trans woman trying to silence anyone who casts doubt on her decisions to silence queer ace people for having experienced abuse similar to hers, because that’s not some top-tier oppression olympics ‘my pain outweighs yours’ b.s.

remember that time staff literally approached vin of their own volition with screenshots of my tweets at the ready, trying to grill vin about my tweets and whether or not she agreed with them?

where’d that go?

did they suddenly get tired of it after being confronted with other, perfectly average Quixol users, suddenly also questioning their decisions against their will?

funny how vin got to have a discussion about her posts. wonder why they didn’t ever contact me except to ban me

so one of the posts was barely incriminating, but the staff decided to use it against her AS A PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST, and then decided to use it decisively against her after she didn’t give the reaction they wanted from her (again, they mention it as one of the 4 posts she was banned over)

THIS WOULD BE PERFECTLY REASONABLE IF THEY HADN’T BEEN LITERALLY SEARCHING THROUGH HER TUMBLR, DIGGING UP POSTS FROM UP TO TWO YEARS AGO

IT WOULD ALSO BE REASONABLE IF:

I HAD ACTUALLY PUT MY TWITTER URL IN MY BIO, WHICH I’M PRETTY SURE I DID NOT

I HADN’T BEEN BANNED NOT TWO WEEKS AGO FOR EXISTING ADJACENT TO QUIXOL, BARELY IF EVER MENTIONING IT ON TWITTER, NEVER LINKING IT FROM THE SERVER, WHO THE HELL WAS SEARCHING THROUGH MY TWITTER, AND WHY DIDN’T BEAN EVEN MENTION DEFENDING MY RIGHT TO HAVE A SEPARATE TWITTER THAT WAS NOT PUBLICLY LINKED TO QUIXOL!? WHAT!?!

glad to know the rest of the staff also goes full tilt on oppression olympics

still waiting on the part where vin actually said something transmisogynistic or otherwise materially harmful to someone on the server

oh no!! vivian just called a lesbian trans woman transmisogynistic!! clearly if this is the game staff wants to play that means they all needs to either agree to disagree, or realize that peoples’ experiences differ from theirs, and are not something to be weaponized in order to silence people that you disagree with!! what a world!!

tfw staff tokenize themselves before they even make the slightest movement towards ‘people have different experiences besides the ones i have/know about, but we are all here and we should work together and support each other’

are they even really a real LGBT+ server

very clear, very clear distinction here... somewhere? weren’t they just saying that they’re not the same things? so they overlap but are different? uh... and...???

i don’t have a word for ‘white trans women that try to weaponize the transmisogyny that overwhelmingly nonwhite twoc experience in order to silence anyone who questions her ~*authority*~ despite the fact that there is no universal ‘trans woman experience’ that anyone can hold her as an authority AS’...

this is literally the kind of weaponized-suffering authoritarianism people talk about when they deconstruct neoliberalism and ‘oppression olympics’ and the staff all seem to be very involved in it

gee whiz, im no longer wondering why i, a queer aro ace, was banned

bean weaponizing his aceness as the staff’s ‘authority’ on ace matters, instead of, yanno, understanding that vin has had her own experiences, that are different, which leads her to take different stances

especially since bean himself admits he hasn’t faced any problems due to his aceness

lucky him, i guess

“this is the first time we’ve had to really make a ban based on evidence that was off quixol”

fuck you in particular

my tweets weren’t for you or anyone else on Quixol

you and the rest of the staff decided to ban me anyways

and now that you snatched vin in your chain-ban and you have a lot of people who are QUESTIONING YOUR DECISIONS you try and act sympathetic?

if people are reacting like this, and the evidence wasn’t even on the server, why even ban someone?

if you intend to heavily police Quixol users you should maybe fucking say so

that way no one’s suprised

i have intense paranoia issues and the entire fact that YALL WERE STALKING MY TWITTER hasn’t helped in the least

literally here are tweets i made in the same timeframe as my ~*banned tweets*~

like you claim to be protecting users, despite the fact that no one on the server was harmed

and you claim to be inclusive, despite the fact that you silence queer people at every turn

and you claim to be safe for ND people, while causing them anxiety and paranoia

literally what do you even stand for at this point

"we are all trans? we are all gay?”

yeah? and?

you still closet the hell out of queer people?

especially queer people with identities you don’t like?

queer people who literally use the word to describe their OCs in plural since they are neither gay nor trans?

you literally wouldn’t let me use the word ‘queer’ to describe my OCs?

hhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh no!!! queer people exist online

seriously is this an LGBT+ server or some kind of fundie christian camp

also, get a load of all of the 0 times vin and i have called anyone queer without their consent, seeing as the first and only time I used it, i got scolded by staff for it

funny story. as soon as I read this screen i knew why I was actually, really banned

way back up at the top of this post, when i had confronted Blake about the fact that I had just called my OCs ‘queer’

and was told ‘be careful, don’t use that word on people who don’t want it applied to them’

i had already been mislabeled as ‘gay’ numerous times on the server itself, which was triggering for me

after bringing up that particular grievance with staff, using almost the exact same wording as Fritjof, i decided to blacklist ‘gay’ so that i wouldn’t guilt gay people into hiding it from others, while protecting myself

very interesting that the staff doesn’t have the same attitude towards people being able to protect themselves from ‘queer’

it’s almost like the censoring of queer is not for the sake of protecting users... but instead...

Just so we make this clear, ‘queer’ which staff defines as being ‘gay and trans’ (but not queer itself for some reason?) is equivalent to:

triggering thing that must be blacklisted (that’s why the blacklist exists)

nsfw chats in global

literally how do yall say ‘queer means gay and trans’ and equate its use with ‘nsfw’

again... is this an LGBT+ server... or a conservative christian summer camp...

it feels almost... indistinguishable...

yes, that is the admin of an ND & LGBT+ server using the same ‘real world’ rhetoric that anti sj bigots and conservatives make

interestingly enough, it’s also common among bigots in the LGBT community, such as truscum, aphobes, and queerphobes, towards anyone with a ‘special snowflake’ identity that they don’t particularly like or are interested in including

but an ace man can never be acephobic right? he’s an authority on ace issues after all, and so all aces must have his same experiences

/s

pedophilia?? gee whiz i wonder what that post Vin reblogged about ‘people accusing others of pedophilia that weren’t actually pedophilia’ was about. surely it wasn’t about staff, right?

so, recap of bannable offenses here on Quixol Dot Corn:

Have a public twitter, where you tweet opinions that staff disagrees with

Be friends with the above person who was banned, and when you don’t say anything banworthy when they confront you, have a tumblr account with enough questionable posts for them to construct a banworthy offense

Once both of the above have been banned, ask staff about their decisions, and then try to reasonably discuss their ongoing queerphobia

So anyways, if you’re wondering where Zeetheus, Vin_Venture, and Fritjof42 went... that’s pretty much what happened!

Staff has zero intent on protecting their userbase, just policing the hell out of their opinions, to the point where off-Quixol content is considered a bannable offense, and if staff hasn’t made that clear to anyone, I hope this post does.

Queer people are not safe on Quixol

Unacceptably ace people are not safe on Quixol

The vast majority of people under the LGBT+ umbrella that don’t fit under ‘gay and trans’ are not safe on Quixol

People with anxiety, who have experienced stalking paranoia are not safe on Quixol