#“well duh thats why kids had knives. nobody could get a gun through those metal detectors”

[shit-talker]

Outsider au where Bernard goes to college outside of Gotham and has to share a flat with like...five people who have only heard vauge stories about Gotham, and genuinely have no idea what it's actually like to live in that city.

And Bernard isn't gonna explain it to them; he doesn't care, so he'll come out with the most morbid fucking shit and his roommates just have to fucking deal with it. And sometimes Bernard brings his weird ass Gothamite boyfriend, who once showed up complaining about not getting his morning coffee due to a literal gas attack at his office, but that's a whole separate issue.