#“too optimistic” this isnt even happy i just dont see these two as 100% doomed ig

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

what are your thoughts about yoko saying that john would sit her down to listen to pauls records and then cry while listening. do you think john regretted the way things ended up between the two of them? I mean by 1980 he was kinda back to saying a few things like the long and winding road was pauls last gasp and other than discussing bread from time to time, I don’t think they actually spoke or connected that much as they used to (and of course not seeing each other) + also accounts from ppl saying he didn’t like paul coming over or something so I just wonder what johns feelings for paul were at that time? did he just not like or care about him anymore?

I feel a bit out of my wits with this ask, tbh. I'm not super well-read on late-70s John, so it's hard for me to get into his headspace. From what I understand, reports on his feelings toward and relationship with Paul (and the Beatle era as a whole) during this period vary greatly. There's a post somewhere buried in my likes I have yet to get to that theorizes that perhaps John and Paul saw each other one last time mere months before December 1980. I'm also not quite clear on how definite their plans to work together again in 1981 were, though I've heard people refer to them.

(I guess what I'm saying is, I've seen a lot of stories about this period but I don't know much about the reliableness of the sources covering John's last years)

Regarding John being rude about Paul's music again during the 1980 Playboy interview: I get the feeling a lot of it is John generally expressing his frustration (with life as a whole, after many years of writer's block and ongoing mental health issues) and since the interview covers the entire Beatles discog, Paul was an easy target to project his issues onto.

Tangent-ish: I'm always struck by this comment of his on the Across The Universe recording being fucked where, only as a sidethought, he mentions that he was mentally destroyed at the time of recording, and says something ambiguous about nobody helping him, where it's not clear if he's referring to the song or his general state.

I think the thing with John is he liked simple explanations for things. He liked summarizing all problems in one sentence ("God is a concept by which we measure our pain") and having a one-size fits-all solution. This led him to many disappointments in life. (becoming disillusioned with the Maharishi, Paul [though obviously Paul also probably could have been more open towards John, but I have serious doubts about how effectively John communicated his needs to Paul], primal scream too probably. I'm feeling saucy, so throw in Allen Klein as well!) He also, by his own admission, let his current feelings taint his view of the past.

Basically, I think the Playboy interview is more symptomatic of his generally fragile state in 1980 than of some specific (new) issue with Paul. Also it's what happens when you let A-list celebrities with a habit of mouthing off without thinking answer questions however they want. SMH challenge this dude on some of his claims… Ask for clarification…

To go back to your first question, I also don't know how much of John crying while listening to Paul's music can be jotted down purely to his feelings towards Paul, rather than an amalgamation of many of his issues. Sometimes you listen to a sad song about a break up and end up missing your dead pet or something.

Feelings don't often make perfect narrative sense.

The bread situation was definitely not ideal, but I think that being able to talk normally about things like that can in fact be a road to healing a relationship. It's not the fastest, and yeah maybe something was fundamentally broken between them (but they did call. They lived on opposite ends of the Atlantic and could have easily just never talked, no?), but I do think even in the most vicious Before-After catastrophes between two people, it can be mended with time. And I'm speaking from my own experience. Love is always a choice you make. I don't know if they made that choice but I do think that at the very least, John was keeping that option, to choose to love again, open for himself until the end.

IDK Maybe this is too optimistic for some of you, but that's my gut feeling at the moment. Sorry that it was a bit all over the place.