#“she looks 12” BRO HOW DO U THINK WOMEN ON THEIR TWENTIES LOOK LIKE?!

[r3starttt]

w maddie I realized three things

one, the world isn't ready for us loser lesbians U JUST AINT READY LIARS

two, the world isn't ready for casual hookups #heartbreaking

three, the world isn't ready for us baby faced girls, U JUST AINT READY EITHER

she's being used by caitlyn leave her alone!

[kdfrqqg]

Happy Birthday Sammy!

Summary: Dean surprises Sam for his birthday.

Sam X Reader Fluff 1.8K word count

Sam looks at his phone, it is Dean, Sam answers because he should have something for this case.  “Hey baby brother, Happy Birthday!” Dean exclaimed. “Thanks Dean!” Sam replied “So Sammy, I got you a little something.” Dean said trying to be cool. Sam just sighed and scratched the back of his head. “What dida get me?” “Oh you’ll see… it’ll be there within the hour.” “Dean, I swear if you got me a hooker…”

“Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, little bro, I would never do that. I know you like to get your women on your own.” Dean said defensively. “It just better not be a hooker, Dean, It just better not be hooker!” Sam repeated “Just have a little fun on your birthday. Bye.” Dean calmly said and hung up the phone.

Twenty minutes later there was a knock on the motel door.  ‘Shit!’ Sam thought. Dean really did get me a fucking hooker. Ok be nice, she is just doing her job.  Tell her that you just aren’t interested.  Yeah, Yeah that is I what I’ll do, Sam thinks to himself.  There is another knock. “Coming!” Sam yelled to the person on the other side of the door.  Sam opens the door thinking that there is going to be a scantily clad sexy woman. “Oh Shit!” Sam yells and slams the door on the poor girl’s face.  What the fuck did Dean do?  The woman had a purple clown wig, full white clown makeup with a red nose, and fucking big shoes. What the fuck did he do?  Sam fell to the floor and pleaded with the girl through the door.  “Please just go away! I really hate clowns!” He slid away from the door and tried to looked at her through the small side window by the door. “Sam, your partner told me you would be scared of me.” She confessed.  “My real name is (Y/N). I have brown hair and I am really kinda cute under all this makeup and fluff.” She said as she waved her hands over her face and then at the clown costume she had on.   “Your name is (Y/N).” Sam stammered.  He opened the door and she walked into the motel.  “(Y/N), I know you are only doing what Dean paid you to do.  I just can’t believe that he got me a fucking clown hooker!” Raising his voice in disbelief. “Hey, wait a minute now!” she commanded. “I am not a hooker!” “Your not?” he snapped as he ran his fingers through his hair. (Y/N) sat on the edge of the bed.  “No, no! Your partner saw me at the hospital.  He mentioned it was your birthday today and you were scared of clowns but that someone nice like me,” She pointed to herself, “might help you get over your fear.” She calmly and rationally said. “He said that?” Sam was still in disbelief. “It is kind of a reverse aversion therapy.  You know associating a good experience with something that you are frightened by.” She explained. “Why would he think I would want this for my birthday?” He asked out loud, now pacing around the front of the hotel room, he was not expecting an answer.   “He said something about having this fear since you were a kid.  Also he said you were one of the bravest men he knew but this fear was irrational.” She reported. “Well, did he tell you that he is afraid of flying?” Sam ranted on. “No, he did not. One would assume that he will have to deal that fear himself.” Sam huffed loudly, he wasn’t mad at her; if anything she was the nicest clown he had ever met.  He was furious at Dean.  “I think I might kill him with my 9MM.” Sam proclaimed.  “You seem really nice, but why are helping him?” “Well… I am a child psychiatrist.  I dress up a few times a month, walk around the hospital, give out balloons and try to bring smiles to people’s faces.” She offered. “So… what I’m an experiment?” Sam huffed. “Do you want to be?” She inquired.  She was in full on shrink mode he thought. “Not really, but Dean is right.  This fear is completely stupid.  I just really hate clowns.”  Sam finally sat down in a chair by (Y/N). “The fear of clowns or Coulrophobia, is one the top 100 fears.” Her voice was soothing. “It isn’t a stupid fear, if it is your fear. “  She reached for Sam’s hand, he flinched and pulled back. “What can I do to make you more comfortable?”  Sam pointed to his head. “My wig?”  Sam nodded. (Y/N) took off the wig and the cap that was keeping her hair tucked in.  “Is that better?”  She asked as her long brown hair cascaded down.  Sam nodded again.  “Ok so you are not really a patient, so I have to inform you that normal rules will not apply today. So no doctor patient confidentiality, are you ok with that?”  Sam agreed with the terms.  “Why don’t you tell me when you first knew that you were afraid of clowns?” “Well… um… I used to get dropped off at these kid zones when I kid.  My dad and brother would leave me there for hours on my own.  The clowns there knew me and knew I terrified of them and they would just chase me around.  They never touched me but I don’t like them because I can’t see their true self.  If I were to see you on the street, wouldn’t know it was you. “ “Ok, that is good, Sam.”  She interjected. “So how are you feeling now?”   He admitted.  “Still a little freaked out.” His knee was shaking and he was sweating a little around his temple. “I have a thought.  I don’t have 12 months to work with you through this fear like I do with my normal patients.  Lets’ do something a little different,” she handed Sam her keys, “go out the silver sedan, in the back seat there are two bags, grab them and bring them in.”  She instructed. Sam followed her instructions.  “Alright now! Follow me to the bathroom.”  Sam watched as she took off her clown makeup.   “You are cute!” he teased, becoming more comfortable, as he looked up at her while he sat on the closed lid of the toilet.  (Y/N) just smiled and continued to transform from clown to a beautiful young woman.  He was mesmerized; she removed her bright pink and purple polka dotted dress revealing her white petty coat underneath.    She asked Sam with assistance to help unbutton the petty coat. He looked away as she dropped it to the floor.   “How do you feel now? Now I am just a girl.” She asked, showing off her body proving that she was a girl and not a clown.  She stood there in front of Sam with no makeup on and in just a white cotton bra with matching panties.  Sam couldn’t tell with all the clown clothes on but her arms and legs were thin.  She had nice curves around her hip area, you could classifier as fit but not overly muscular.   “I feel a little uncomfortable because you are wearing almost nothing but do I feel a lot better.”  He answered.  She smiled at Sam and then pulled some clothes from one of the bags and quickly put a white t-shirt and pair of jeans on. “Now your turn!” she informed Sam with a giggle. He sighed a few times, and started to rub his hands.  She could tell he was getting nervous all over again.  Finally he said “Ok, ok, I am ready.” As he chuckled. She grabbed a bag with clown makeup and moved back to the main room of the motel room.  She sat him in a chair in front of a mirror.  She informed him to not close his eyes.  The whole point was to watch as she transformed him into a clown.  She started to draw white upside-down U around his eyes, then continued to fill in the rest of his face with white makeup.  She worked as though he was a kid getting face painted for the first time.  She asked him what color he wanted on his eyes to be.  He pointed to the blue.  She filled in his eye and lip color and out lined them with black, so they stood out.  She told him she wanted him to be a happy clown not a sad clown as she made a smiley face and pouty face to him.  Sam thought he looked crazy but loved that (Y/N) was really taking her time with him.   “We have to take a photo and send it to Dean.” He pointed out. “Oh Sammy, we are not done yet.” She grabbed the purple wig she was wearing earlier and plopped it on Sam’s head.  After tucking in a few strands of hair she exclaimed, “Perfect! Now you are ready for your close up.”  The two chuckled.   Sam made a faces for the camera.   “Now both of us!” He was really getting into dress up.  He took your waist and pulled you onto his lap as the two of you laughed. You and Sam took a couple of selfies.  Sam sent a few off to Dean real quick.  The both of you looked really happy.  You were about to move off of his lap when he kissed you with his lips still covered in red makeup.  It was a chaste kiss, you could tell he was testing the waters but still pleasant.  “Please, tell that there isn’t a Mr. Clown?” he asked. Your lips were now covered in his red makeup and his lips were all smudged.  You smiled, and answered, “There is no Mr. Clown.”  You glanced in the mirror at how ridiculous you both looked and just laughed.  “For someone who couldn’t wait to get rid of me, you are sure holding on tight.” You teased him. “Well earlier, I didn’t know how great some clowns could be.” He playfully responded. He picked you up with his strong arms, and you flailed your feet in the air. The both of you giggled, as he threw you onto the bed and began to kiss you softly.   You tried to run your fingers through his hair forgetting about the wig.  You looked up at him and said, “This isn’t going to work for me, Sam.” “What do you mean?” he asked. “I -I don’t really have clown kink. The makeup tastes like wax and the hair is really distracting.” You declared.   He looked surprised that you said that.  “You thought I would be into this, didn’t you?” “Well, maybe.” He mumbled as he moved off top of you. You suggested, “Why don’t we get cleaned up, find your partner and go get drunk?” Sam looked a little pitiful when you suggested that they stop.  Assuring him you said, “Don’t worry big boy, I’ll make sure you get a good birthday present.”

I love all the likes and reblogs but I really do want your feedback. Please leave me a comment; let me know what worked or what didn’t. If you hated it let me know what I could do different. It may determine how I write my next fic.

“Give it to me! You know you want to!” Writer winks at reader.

MY MASTER LIST Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want to be tagged.

[signutai]

And here it is, the entirely-unwanted followup to my last OPM manga review, this time with Volume 11! - AH YES THE AMAZING POOL PARTY PIC CHARACTERS PAGE - I could write an entire novel on that alone so I’ll just leave it at that. - For the low, low price of free, you can also see my reaction to the only part of it that matters here. - Also Charanko is cute and also Garou has obviously never seen a popsicle before in his life. - Metal Bat, calmly standing in front of the Big Fucking Monster(TM), wondering what to do about it. - This boy has guts and also issues. - Holy shit he’s so goddamn strong?? - Giant Fucking Centipede casually tosses him into a building. He casually gets up and ponders what to do next. - The panel of him jumping out of the building is precious beyond words. - Killer Move: Pumped-Up Dragon Pummelin’. I don’t know what else I expected. - The monster’s response is to wreck the whole city. This is why we don’t let you guys play with us. - Garou: expert opportunist. - “So how did you two lovebirds meet?” “Oh, I was fightin’ this giant monster, see, and--” “And he fell out of the sky like some kind of fucked-up angel!” - “Why did you fall from the sky?” Garou, I love you, but you’re a little slow on the uptake sometimes. - That stupid fucking grin on his stupid fucking face when he realizes Bat’s still alive, good God. - Bat’s mild indignation that some random fucko tried to attack him out of nowhere. - Metal Knight to the rescue? I did not expect that. - Talk shit, get hit, Garou. Don’t you know better than to monologue. Haven’t you seen The Incredibles. - Stop hitting him in the face, please. - Bat’s Crinkled Nose of Anger(TM) is awfully cute. - He’s also going to destroy what little of the city is left I guess. - “What the...?” B L U H This panel killed me why does this trash wolf child have so many great faces. - Oh my God he’s so offended that Bat’s still thinking of the monster. - This fight is somethin’ else entirely. I could probably write a whole post of reactions just on it alone. - Killer Move: Pumped-Up Brutal Tornado. Bat, my child, please let someone else name your moves, I beg you. - Ah yes. Those three panels I will never be able to see without thinking of that, “I would like to thank Murata for this Batarou erotica.” post. Edit: this one. - Shit, that was a bad blow. - SHIT - Saved by the Zenko. - Holy fuck I did not expect to see Bat just looming there. Holy fuck. HOLY FUCK. - “Big bro Bat!” 1) Why does she call him Bat. 2) I guess the whole “Badd” debate is officially over now. Edit: I guess not?? Jeez Louise, mom and dad, how much did you hate your son??? - Zenko is one tough cookie. I love that. They’re truly family. Makes me wonder what their parents were like. - “Why do I have to obey your family rule?” Because she fucking said so, wolf boy. Get with the program. - Garou once again tries to play himself off as being the toughest, meanest, most murderous motherfucker in existence, and once again refuses to kill his opponent. - This time because a little girl told him not to. - Just walk away like you didn’t start this shit in the first place, trash puppy. Garou’s such a goddamn dork sometimes. Most of the time. - After all of that and Bat’s still determined to fight the monster, good God can you talk about a one-track mind? - “I know that monster’s killing people and destroying things, but I want to go shopping!” Someone needs to teach this kid what priorities are. I love her, but damn. - Aaaand Bat’s down. Good job, kiddo. - That bird monster’s really cool, I’ll admit. Such a nice design. - oh wait i change my mind it has human hands i fucked up abort abort abort - GENJI - Why do the male monsters have so much diversity but all the female monsters are just unsettling sexy women? - Wait I know why. - We need, like, a week where we all design diverse female monster OCs for the Punchverse or something. I’ve actually got a few lying around... - MAAAAAAAX - Max looks so good in his tournament outfit. Such a good and handsome man. - Lin-Lin’s such a cutie. - Snek also looks really good in his tournament outfit. - “Was ‘bottom-ranking’ necessary?” I cry. - “Volten” is translated into “Boltane” here, and to be honest I really like the look of it. And saying it. Boltane. Nice. - “Rosie”, however, is translated into “Rogy”. Uh, no. No thanks. Put that back, I don’t want it. - Ah yes, the Nazi. Disgusting. - Update: I Still Hate Sour Face. - Suiryu looks like he’s literally twelve in his first appearance. How did he age like ten years during the course of the tournament. I mean. I feel like I aged ten years over the course of the tournament, but... - The translation for his martial art is different every time. - How is Sour Face twenty. Charanko being twenty I can buy, but not him. Did being a complete and utter dick make him age prematurely? I’ll accept that as my headcanon. - “You never could tie this right.” Charanko asks Bang for help with his belt confirmed. - Bang and Bomb: Brothers on Stakeout - The panel of Bang irritably munching on a snack while ignoring his brother is gold, I love it. - Christ, sometimes I forget just how terrifying Bang is. - I’m probably in the minority here, but Do-S interests me approximately 0%. Maybe I’m just too ace. - Leave Darkness Blade alone! Gosh. - Eyelashes just fuckin’ kicks him in the face with his immaculate dress shoe, amazing. - Aww, Genji... - DEATH GATLING MY GUN-ARMED SON - I prefer his new outfit, honestly. The old look is nice, but it’s too clean, even though it makes him look like Darkness Blade’s badass big brother (gonna hang onto that headcanon, tho). He looks much more intimidating now. Still a great character, however he looks. I love. - Ah yes, the Zoo Men bonus. Always fun. - King and his love for kid’s shows is so #relatable. - He’s such an idealist, I love him. Also, I wish he would smile more. He’s so cute when he does. - “You have to watch it.” Me with my family and chanbara, honestly. - Are you even trying to get along with these people and be helpful, Saitama? - The Hero Association bigwigs are all so repulsive, ugh. - Vore. - Metal Knight is useful for once. - Yasss King please teach Saitama how teamwork REALLY works. - Hero Association: “We’ll give you literally anything.” “Mmkay I want a better bat.” No one can say this kid isn’t a simple man with simple needs. - Don’t yell at him, Zenko. - I love the piano recital bonus. Bat just cares so much for his baby sister, and so openly. More male characters could stand to be like him. In short--or long. really, really long--another great volume! Lots of appearances by some of my favorite characters. I can’t wait to get my hands on Volume 12! In. September. For whatever reason it’s taking so long to release. -sigh-