#“plz stop the absorption of iron we are at full capacity thx”

[etlu-yume]

Between a rock and a hard place?

Still not sure what to make of things right now. The rage has subsided significantly, the sensitivity to anything setting off a mood swing (either up into rage or down into a depressive spiral) has eased off. I've even had a few days where I'd say it was /practically/ normal?

I mean I'm feeling a bit bummed out now but that, I'm like 99% sure, is because of conversations with the GP. Of having not picked up the full instructions (they wanted me to go back onto it after a week of sugar pills), and having to explain why I didn't think why that was a good idea (the last three months were... okay they were /bearable/ but good god my tolerance and patience was run so thin.

So many days of phantom cramps, the fucking unpredictability of mood swings and the *crash* that happened when we went onto the sugar pills? No. Nope. Not a fan. And that's not even looking into other things like the way both times I've gone on it, I've found Strange New Cysts™ turn up that need investigation, or the /weird/ way that my iron goes up whenever I'm on it. We're STILL waiting to see just how much the venesection did to bring it down, or if we're back into a fucking treatment phase to lower it.)

And nobody wants to actually say for certain that it's PMDD - even though I've been tracking symptoms (depressive /and/ irritable rage) for almost a fucking year. I keep getting "oh you've got some hella PMS patterns here" from the therapist. The GP won't name anything. They just say "the two ways to treat the symptoms you're describing are SSRIs or Hormone therapy".

I'd like to *avoid* the SSRIs if I can. I was hopeful the pill might help - not that it would make things drawn out and worse.

But I'd take a standard cycle with an identifiable 2 weeks of mental misery, over months of unyielding come-out-of-nowhere mood swings (16/31 days in January? 24/28 days in February? There may be external factors but I'm pretty sure here that I was probably just a teeny-tiny bit predisposed to taking things badly at that point.)