#“if i have to wait for you to be kurt cobain im never gonna be a mother” WHACK HIM AGAIN

[ace-with--a-mace]

finishing juno

[lvxybby]

Music Ties (kurt cobain x fem reader) (pt 3)

my hands began to shake as i picked up my house phone and put kurts number in. it rang for a second before i heard the calming voice of kurt. "hello?" his rough, tired voice spoke. "uh...hey kurt its Y/N" i said trying to regain my composure. "oh fuck...whats up?" he said sounding a bit more awake. "nothing...i was just thinking about the offer you gave me..." i said twirling the cord around my finger. "oh yeah?" he said sounding a bit eager. "i thought....i should take it.." i say anxiously. "ok! that sounds amazing...jeez i really cant believe this...its gonna help out so much...wanna meet tomorrow? around...1 or 2?" he said excited now. "uh sure...where?" i asked. "uh...is my place ok? its a small apartment....its uh...uhh...give me a second...." he said before i heard him talking in the back to someone. he called out for dave "dave....dave!" "what!" "whats the address!" "can i ask why?!" "cause im tryna get Y/N to come over tomorrow!" "its....114 Pear St North East...she doesnt live too far from us?....shes just outside of olympia right?!" "yeah...ok thanks!" their conversation quickly ended. and kurt and dave lived with each other? i didnt know that...but its ok i like dave hes pretty cool. "uh...ok its 114 Pear St North East" kurt said returning back to me. "ok let me right that down real quick..." i said grabbing my notepad and pen from my table. i held the phone to my ear with my shoulder as i wrote the address. "uh ok that sounds great" i said throwing the pad on the table. "ok....you know i just realised we say uh a lot..." kurt said starting to giggle a bit. his laugh was so adorable...i could listen to it for all eternity and never get tired of his cute voice. "yeah we do" i say also giggling. "alright...i'll hopefully see you tomorrow" kurt said still giggling "alright sounds great...goodnight" i said smiling "night" he said before hanging up. oh my god....im part of Nirvana now. one of the biggest bands in the world...holy shit this is amazing. i run to my room and throw myself on my bed kicking my legs. my face was burning hot. but wait...i..dont have a crush on kurt or anything? right? no i dont...but do i?....no i cant im just really happy...i cant like him..."holy fuck i love kurt..."

[swellwriting]

tagged by @kabeswaters​ and @fortisfiliae​ love u both sm <3 <3

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? it fluctuates but right now -1 

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #anxious

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? JAKE MOTHERFUCKING GYLLENHAAL 

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? i dont know what that is hah

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i guess some people don’t know i’m type one diabetic??

6. what’s your wake up ritual? uh phone, animal crossing, fruit loops, weed

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? I watch asmr videos cuz im usually high as fuck and they knock me out lol, or i watch tiktok or pillow talk with my bf nick.

8. what’s your favorite time of day? like 9 pm?

9. your go to for having a good laugh? my boyfriend always makes me laugh no matter how angry or upset i am so i’d talk to him uwu

10. dream country to visit? FRANCe specifically Paris oui oui with my french candian bullshit

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? when they announced 5sos was touring with one direction and i had tickets, never screamed so loud in my LIFE

12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers duh

13. vintage or new? vintage babey

14. who do you want to write your obituary? ME from the great beyond, the only other person who knows me well enouhg is nick and i love him but he is very stupid.

15. style icon? uh harry styles, devon lee carlson, halsey, bella hadid, tyler the creator some normal people whos style i LOVE  from insta are rebeccaramsdale , kehllie , kikalateefff , yourgirlneens , lilxmg !

16. what are three things you cannot live without? phone, insulin, art, music

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? probs vanilla or hotsauce, the only two flavours.

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my dead brother DJ, kurt cobain andddd ryan dunn from jackass what a weird mix.

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? loosing my senses, loosing control, the fear that i am not actually real and ... oh spiders.

20. window or aisle seat? window 

21. what’s your current tv obsession? think its gonna be adventure time again

22. favorite app? instagram or discord so i can talk to my friends uwu

23. secret talent? i can speak french and giberish

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? camping i guess?

25. how would you define yourself in three words? anxious, empathetic, creative

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my vintage star wars shirt

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? blank tees, good quality blank tees!!! white black grey mhmhmh

28. a superpower you would want? i’d wanna be spidergirl

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? nothing at all :(

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? my grade six teacher telling me that i was very empathetic as i was sitting at the back of the class crying because of the movie we were watching, she told me not everyone is empathetic like i am but its okay to be soft. but not to expect that from everyone else.

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? teenage me was a mess but not messy enough that i’d change anything. i’d just say, things get better but im currently back in the state teenage me was in so...i’d be lying. maybe that wanting to kill yourself does not count as a personality trait - and start reading comics earlier cuz u really like them.

32. a book everyone should read? i read wack books, everyone on tumblr should read fangirl tho

33. what would you like to be remembered for? something i created

34. how do you define beauty? self expression and individuality 

35. what do you love most about your body? wait people love their bodies? not everyone was severly damaged by online diet culture and thigh gap era tumblr? weird ok

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? weed or bath or a movie

37. favorite place to view art? there is an art gallery in saskatchewan that i love, i was suposed to go there this summer before corona took over :(((

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? either something short like “mellow” or fob style like “im so anxiuos all the time and nothing ever feels real and i dont know what im doing but somehow im doing pretty good while feeling prety bad and laughing through my tears lol.” or i’d steal “teen idle” by marina and the diamonds.

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar or piano because im lame at both.

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i want two moths above my knees rn

41 dolphins or koalas? neither

42. what’s an animal that represents you? im more of a pokemon, i think id be jigglypuff

43. best gift you’ve ever received? whenever nick buys me clothes from stussy or maybe infinity on high on vinyl.

44. best gift you’ve given? i bought nick the entire sin city comic series in one giant book.

45. what’s your favorite board game? monopoly

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow

47. least favorite color? that weird pinky purple

48. diamond or pearls? pearls

49. drugstore makeup or designer? colour pop and fenty

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? tea

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pumpernickle is my fav one.

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? MILK

54. stairs or elevators? stairs

55. summer or winter? summer, canadian winters are brutal.

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? ur asking someone who has very specific comfort foods so i already do this - cheese bagel toasted with cream cheese and then toasted again to melt cheddar cheese on top. with a diet coke thats very important.

57. a dessert you don’t like? cheesecake 

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? im crazy so this is a lot but - writing , drawing and painting, polymer clay, sewing, resin art and pottery.

59. best thing to happen to you today? nothing

60. worst thing to happen to you today? the line at starbucks was too long and i had to get wendys instead, and a few other things i won’t mention.

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? whenever my mom says i remind her of my brother dj, when people say anything nice about my art or writing style. when people ask about my clothes. when my friend jess called me a “known softie” uwu

62. favorite smell? lavender

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, what would it be about? i’d talk about star wars for hours on end 

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? of mice and men made me ball my fucking eyes out

66. lipstick or lipgloss? chapstickk

67. sweet or savory? sweet

68. girl crush? Zendaya

69. how do you know you’re in love? idk ive just always been in love with nick (since i was 15) before i even really knew what love was, i guess if the other person feels like home, you know ur doing something right.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? nine in the afternoon by p!atd or a match into water by peirce the veil, over my head by fleetwood mac

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? harry styles that mysterious fucker

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? currently not looking forward to anything becase my life is super uncertain right now ha.. maybe the release of the chaos walking movie whenever that decides to happen.

tagging: i assume yall have been tagged in this already but just incase @beskarjedi @woakiees @bluemadcnna @carolinesbookworld  @theseuscmander and anyone else who wants to do this consider urself tagged.

[theboardwalkbody]

31, 27, 25

25. role model:

I’m not entirely sure I have one. I used to think so but I’m not so sure. I used to consider Steve Irwin a role model, I still think he is, but I don’t think he’s mine. He’s an excellent role model for kids and those wanting to get into wildlife conservation that’s for sure. I used to think Patrick Stump was my role model when I realized how great FOB and their lyrics are and when I was very inspired by his weight loss and figured, if he could do it - so could I! But I’ve given up so many times that it feels shallow now. Despite not knowing much about my grandpa (mom’s side) I thought maybe he’s a role model. From what I understand he was very smart, he also had dreams that sometimes came true (like I do) and if he wanted it and put his mind to it he could do it. He had tons of friends and everyone seemed to get along with him. But people are flawed and I hold nothing against him but... idk. I feel like my blood is tainted by my dad’s lineage. Like no matter how hard I try I can’t be the good qualities of a man I’ve never met in my entire life. I always feel like I’ve got the “cursed/unlucky” bits of my mom’s family and that leaves me with the garbage that is my dad’s. I guess if I had to pick tho maybe my grandpa still is that role model person. I often times, when I fail (which is often) feel like I’ve let him down somehow, like I’ve not tried hard enough (he would have tried harder!) and that if I was more like him I’d be all golden. But idk. I don’t know if that’s even how role models are supposed to work. I kinda considered role models to be people in the path of life you want to be like (like a musician aspiring to be like Kurt Cobain or an actress aspiring to be like Carrie Fischer). So IDK who does and doesn’t count as role models. I’ve got no nurse role models.

27. things i hate:

There are absolutely plenty of these but I’ll try to keep the list short. I genuinely hate my dad and select people on my dad’s side of the family. I hate when people tell me not to hate family members “because they’re family”. Sorry, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to hate rapists and abusers. I hate when people who don’t understand mental illness try to treat mental illness. I hate when people with no medical knowledge spread around incorrect, and sometimes even dangerous, incorrect mumbojumbo but when you correct them and site the sources of your knowledge they tell you you must be the one who’s wrong. (Yes, me, the nursing student, is the one who is wrong and not you, who’s never had a drop of medical training, who read a Dr. Oz article in Cosmo one time). I hate when people don’t give me credit where I am due (even tho I rarely think I deserve it anyway), and I hate how entire segments of my family ignore my knowledge because they consider my male cousin the genius in the family. Not gonna lie, I hate me a lot. I hate my mental illness, I hate my size, I hate my lack of motivation. I hate carrots. I mean, I really, really hate carrots.  

31. 3 random facts:

a) i think my best feature is my eyes. i think they’re a really pretty color. my self-esteem is so damn low, however, that sometimes i forget i like even them. i’m reminded when i look in a mirror and see them and i go ‘god damn those are pretty’ and it gives me a weird feeling at first because i’m not used to complimenting myself or thinking any part of me looks nice.

b) i am a hypochondriac and i’ve got chronic anxiety. not a good combo at all. sometimes i start to feel sick and panic and think, ‘i should go to the doctor’ but when i’m actually there i’m like ‘please don’t find anything’ even tho i was convinced i was sick and spent money to go. other times if i’m /really/ scared and /100%/ convinced something is going to kill me i’m too afraid to go to a doctor because i’m certain i am right but don’t want confirmation that i am. i’m currently having a PPD skin test done for TB (part of a health physical for my new job) and while the first test was fine and dandy im panicking over this second one and i’ve been worried all day that I have TB. I’m both dreading tomorrow’s check-up on it and waiting with baited breath so they can tell me it’s fine. 

c) i can’t leave the house without saying goodbye to my pets. it’s become a compulsion. i worry something will happen if i don’t say that i will be back roughly in X amount of time, sometimes where i am going, and reassure them that i love them. if i stay somewhere overnight my one pets’ picture is on my phone and i will say goodnight to him. it’s been about two years i’ve been doing this.

Thanks for the Q’s anon-a-noodle! :)