#“i'm really worried about you and my worst fear is losing you so tell m about your nightmares and every intimate detail of your day”

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

i'm gonna fucking scream and throw up a la pitch perfect i swear

[riaarivic]

HATE 10: UGH! (M) I MYG x F!reader

🌙 Pairings YoongixReader

🌙 Genres Mafia!AU, Smut, Angst, Action, Thriller, Enemies to lovers

🌙 Rating 18+ minors DNI

🌙 Summary  You were an INTERPOL Agent assigned to infiltrate the depths of the most powerful Gang in South Korea: The Seven Moons. Your objective: to impersonate the daughter of one of their leaders and destroy the operation from within. That is, if they don't discover you first.

And Traitors won’t have the mercy of a quick death

🌙 Warnings For this chapter: Minor character death, drugs, foul language, mentions of organized crime. If any of theses topics make you unconfortable, please don't read this chapter. This is a mafia au, and organized crime is not all handsome boys and nice cars. This chapter and the next one are DARK.

So, if any of this triggers you, see you on chapter 12. Don't worry, you'll still understand the story. But no, this is not a filler chapter.

🌙 A/N At no time do I (the author) encourage this activity in real life, it is important that you know that the criminal acts in this book are that, a crime, as well as harmful to health and should not be romanticized. This is all a work of fiction for entertainment purposes.

Love, Ria

🌙 Chapter wordcount 5k (the longest one yet)

🌙 Series Index

1  2 3 4  5 6 7 8 9 10 11

HATE 10: UGH! (M) I MYG x F!reader

Rage? Of course you need it When it burns up there's always a reason Mayhaps it’s our history Sometimes it changes the world

Anger.

That was all Suga could feel right now. 

Red, hot, flaming anger.

That’s all he could feel since he received the call from JHope telling him that you had been kidnapped and no one knew where you were.

But the worst was when he learned who was suspected for your disappearance.

The Jade Dragon.

Of course anger was necessary.

He felt like a man about to lose his sanity.

But before he did…

He would kill a few men first.

The dimly-lit interrogation room was filled with the stench of sweat and fear. Suga stood across from an old man in cuffs, his ruined demeanor did not change the fact that he once was one of the most powerful men in the Asian mafia clans.

Wang Jiaer. 

The former second in command of the Jade Dragon.

That Kim Dohan captured and thrown into a wet, dimly lit room in the basement of the Seven Moons Mansion. 

Like a fallen warrior. 

That was turned into a war souvenir for Kim DoHan. 

"Where is she?" Suga demanded.

The old man coughed, spewing blood on the concrete floor of the dimly lit basement. He grimaced, his wrinkled face twisting into a grotesque smile. “Still haven’t learned any manners I see, young man.”

Suga glowered at the former leader of Jade Dragon, his grip tightening on the baseball bat in his hands. “You seem awfully cheerful for a dead man, old timer.”

"I don't know what you're talking about," the man stammered, his eyes darting around the room. The old man chuckled. “I’ve been dead for 20 years, boy. Your Leader just didn’t have the balls to finish the job.” His grin widened, showcasing his blood stained teeth. “Not like you.”

Suga swung the bat, smashing the old man’s fingers with a sickening crack. The man shrieked, his pained cries echoing in the empty basement.  "Where is she?" she asked for a second time.

The man's eyes widened in surprise. "What makes you think that I would know something about it? I'm here," he said, lifting his hand to show the cuffs “and my clan is done for, your Leader made sure of it.”

"Because nothing happens above ground without you hearing about it," Suga replied, his eyes narrowing. "And I don’t know, the pile of bodies with a pretty memo sitting on Jhope’s bay with your clan emblem on it, might really send a message.” 

The young gangster rounded the table that stood between them to be in front of the old man “I am going to ask only one more time. We’ll see how many more parts of you I’ll have to break before you die,” He paused “Where is Lee NaRi?”

The old man panted, his mangled fingers twisting at unnatural angles. But his eyes glinted with amusement. “Still don’t have the stomach for this, do you boy?”

Suga grabbed the old man’s collar and hauled him up from the chair, growling into his bruised face. “Do not fucking test me, Wang”

The old man chuckled. “You bark loud but your bite is lacking. I told you, the Jade Dragon clan is finished. I have been your family’s pet for 2 decades, I know nothing.”

The man gave him a low chuckle. "But I did hear about that, corpse container. Nice touch, a litte on the dramatic side. Not our style though" he paused and leaned towards Suga. “Oh, yes. You look just like your father, boy. He must be very proud in whatever deep corner of hell he ended up...”

“I DO NOT HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR YOUR GAMES, WANG!” Suga screamed at the man’s face, interrupting him, his gaze piercing. "And my father is Kim Dohan. He is very much alive," he said, his voice dripping with venom. "Start talking, and if you say something of value I might give you something you want."

"You and I both know that is not your father's name. And what do you know about what I want, young man?" the man asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Death” Suga said simply “you know there’s nothing for you outside these walls anymore. You want release”

“Oh, no. I want retribution, young man. I want Kim Dohan’s entire bloodline to suffer and disappear from the face of the Earth. I want that everything he has ever wanted to be suddenly ripped from his bloody hands… and only then, I want to die” Suga could see the warrior inside the old second in command; he was beaten, malnourished, there wasn’t an inch of skin that wasn’t bruised.

But he still commanded power. 

Suga let out a tired sigh knowing there was no other way to make Wang talk. So he let go of the baseball bat he had on his hands to bow his head.

“Please.” 

His men behind him looked at him in shock.

One of the young leaders of The Seven Moons was…

Beggin.

Even the old second in command couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. But he semed to be pleased.

“You must really care for this girl If you are willing to trade your pride for her” The old man sighed and tried to stand up, but his bruised legs could not let him. He extended one hand to take Suga’s “We did not do it. That is all I know. We are not responsible for the girl’s disappearance.” His voice was a dead man's sincerity. Suga knew he wasn't lying.

He didn't have to.

“Then who took her? Someone else is pulling the strings, someone on the inside. They knew where she was going and that she only had one bodyguard with her.  Was it...was it my brother? Was it Namjoon?” Suga tried and failed to not let his voice break. 

Anger was starting to wear off. 

And something else was bubbling inside him.

The old man sighed, shaking his head with an incredulous smile. “Your family and your trust issues. Always so quick to turn on your own blood.” His eyes glinted ominously. “The person responsible for the girl’s kidnapping is the same person who is responsible for the death of your father and the disappearance of your mother”

“My mother is dead.”

“Did you see a body? Listen young boy, you came here looking for the truth. And this is the only one I can give you. After all this time, at least you showed some manners and I owe it to her.” The old man paused and he knew he was waiting for him to continue “Your Leader killed your grandfather. To start the clan wars and then he killed your father. But Kim DoHan could never kill your mother”

The room went silent. 

Like the moment right after a lighting strikes.

Suga was waiting for the thunder. 

“Your mother is alive. Young man, and I think is time you go see her, she will know where the girl is. If you can find her first.” The look on Suga's face was a mix of confusion and anger. 

“I gave you what you wanted and I kept my promise” the man whispered. “Now give me what I want” 

With a swift move Suga got his gun outside his holster and shot the old man right between his eyes.

 

Death.

A clean shot. 

There it was, the thunder.

 

The terrifying sound hat announced the beginning of the storm that was starting to brew on Suga’s soul. 

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Location unknown, South Korea

Tap...

Tap...

Tap...

A leak was falling from the ceiling, the lack of windows and the artificial light coming in from the other room told you that you were in some sort of basement.

You were starting to regain consciousness and your survival instinct kicked in immediately.

Your brain was on agent mode observing everything that could tell you anything about where you were and who were your captors. 

Your eyes started traveling around the room, the walls are made of rough concrete, with no decorations or furnishings to make the space more comfortable. A metal door with a small window and a sliding bolt lock separates the basement from the rest of the building, making escape impossible.

The only furniture in the room is a mattress on the floor, a bucket in the corner for waste disposal, and a small table with a lamp and a chair where the protagonist's captor might sit to watch over her. The air is musty and stale, with a faint smell of dampness and mildew.

Remember every fucking thing you see, there is no time for a panick attack. You thought. 

Pay attention. 

You could distinguish a factory logo on the wall in front of you.

There were no such buildings in Seoul, so you must be on the outskirts?

Unless, you had been moved to another state while you were unconscious.

You could also tell that you were nowhere near the coast by the absence of saltpeter in the structures. 

You knew that at least three men were in charge of you, all carrying firearms and pocket knives.

But from what you had seen they had no clan markings.

Not a single tattoo.

Nothing to identify them.

That was strange...

That was all you had been able to discover so far, you weren’t sure how long you had been in that room

They kept you drugged, almost unconscious for the most part. But you could guess that it had been at least a day because they had fed you twice.

So far none of the men had spoken to you, they just went in to bring you food and came back out. Without looking at you, if you spoke to them they did not respond.

You heard them speaking in a dialect you could not quite place. But you knew it was from China.

Which was weird. 

The members from the Jade Dragon were all from Beijing, a few of them from some northern regions. 

But you were almost sure they were speaking in Wu. 

Which was fucking weird. 

Because the Shanghai triad did not work with the Jade Dragon. 

Not at all.

You said it two times before.

It was weird.

You were sitting on a mattress that seemed to be dirtier than the floor itself; with your hands starting to feel numb from the restraints that immobilized you. Your head hurt a little and you could still hear a ringing in your ears from the loud blow you had taken.

You were almost sure that you had a concussion and that the head wound was going to leave a scar... 

At the very least.

You knew it was useless to try to escape even if she broke free of your restraints because you had been unconscious when you were taken there. You had no idea  how far you were from the exit, nor how many men might be outside the place.

You were very good in combat  but going outside like this was suicide. 

Fuck.

You knew perfectly well the dangers you were exposing yourself to every time you accepted a mission. This was not the first time you have been in such a situation.

There were some scars on your skin that were proof of how dangerous your job was.

And then…

There were the other scars you couldn't see.

Those really hurt.

You had to stay calm.

Your best hope was that you would be found soon.

At least you hoped so.

No, you knew Yoongi would look for you.

Hopefully he was going to find you alive.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Suga just killed a man. 

And he was about to kill another. 

Specifically the one who let you leave the house with only one bodyguard.

“Namjoon!” Suga kicked open the doors to the meeting room where all his brothers were. “If even one hair on her head isn't intact when we find her, I'm going to kill you. It's a fucking promise”

Suga was past the point where he could control himself.

Anger was a fire that consumed everything in its path and the Second in Command would be the first target.

“Suga. Know. Your fucking. Place” Namjoon, who was sitting on the top of the table, barked each of the words as an order “I won't let you talk to me that way.”

The black-haired man let out a sinister laugh “Ah, you won’t? Then tell me brother, how is it that Nari, who is supposed to be our greatest responsibility, left this house without enough protection? “He paused when he was in front of him “With your permission?”

On the meeting room’s table you could see open computers and messy papers sprawled everywhere you looked.

To say that the seven Moons were in chaos was an understatement.

And what made things worse The Leader sent them a clear message:

He will not help them find the young heiress. 

You were their responsibility. 

And whatever happened to you. 

Kim DoHan swore to his sons, he would do it to them.

“I don't have to explain anything I do to you, Suga” Namjoon looked right into his eyes. Even if Suga was raging like a demon fresh out of hell, the Second in Command was intimidating. A calm sinister demeanor surrounding him. 

“You don't have to explain yourself?!? “ That was enough for the clan’s shadow to lose control and throw the first punch straight to his face “You break a promise, you lose a finger remember? Didn't we all swear to protect our father?” Suga screamed right at Namjoon’s face, Jhope tried to separate them but The eldest brother held him back. 

“This is on them,” he said.

Suga threw a second punch and this time Namjoon didn't dodge it, he let him hit him again “Do it then.” He took out a knife from his coat pocket “Start by cutting my finger. But after you finish with mine, you are next. Or did you forget that we also swore not to touch her?” The black-haired man's eyes widened, he knew he wasn't doing a good job of hiding his nightly trips to the girl's window.

The taller one held the knife by the edge of the blade hard enough for drops of blood to start dripping on the expensive fur rug. “Did you think no one would find out that you spend every night in her room? Weren't you supposed to follow her everywhere? Why didn't you follow her today? Where were you at the beauty salon?” 

Shit.

As hard as it was for him to admit it, he had failed you too.

This morning he had decided to go to settle some unfinished business instead of following you as he had been doing since the day you arrived in Seoul.

That made his blood boil even more.

But he wasn't going to explain himself to that jerk Namjoon.

“No answer? How about this one, do you think father doesn't already know what you have been doing? I'm going to find her Suga, and when I do I'm going to make sure of two things.” Namjoon paused, the light seemed to drain from his eyes, replaced by a menacing darkness. “The first thing I’ll make sure of is that you never touch her again. And the second one is that you are completely out of the clan's inheritance” he finished his voice sounding more like a growl. 

“You know what the funniest thing is Kim Namjoon? That you think you deserve everything, that you can control everything. Just because for now you are the right hand of the clan.” The other brothers were standing still in the room, none of them could challenge their Second in Command. 

Never like that.

Unless you were Suga and didn't give a shit if you lost a finger or your whole arm “Do you think your pathetic attempt to intimidate me really works? Go ahead, cut off your own finger and keep spilling blood on the carpet. It won't be a waste, after all you're not the true heir to this clan's legacy.... “ 

“That's enough hyungs, damn it! While you two are playing who has the biggest dick or the purest blood or some other ridiculous bullshit. Nari-Noona is somewhere scared, alone and who knows what they might be doing to her.” To everyone's surprise, the youngest of the brothers was the one who dared to interrupt them “For God's sake, a week ago they sent us a container of corpses, what do you think they're going to do to the heir of this clan?”

Suga and Namjoon turned in surprise to look at their younger brother, there were very few occasions when JK was disrespectful to them “We are wasting time, because in the best case scenario... they are going to kill her”

And in the best case scenario The Leader would kill them for failing in their mission.

“You are right, Joon,"  Jin, who was sitting at the other end of the table, stood up to look at his brothers. "This is the third time we are under direct attack, so I called my police contacts. Every inch of Seoul has at least one surveillance camera and Miss Nari was kidnapped in the only place where there wasn't one. They have contacts, at least with the security department.”

Seokjin was always the most controlled of the brothers, every step he took was well calculated. So many years involved with the high forces of his country's politics had taught him to remain calm in crisis.

And even if he couldn't get any answers, something was very wrong.

“I have 5 Hacker squads trying to trace her digital footprint, there is nothing, she disappeared” Jhope was the next one to speak “We are all worried, but this is already bordering on ridiculous, you have to stop fighting.” The others nodded in agreement with what the brown-haired man had just said.

Suga threw the knife to the ground and made an exasperated sound “You're right, I'm wasting my time with you.” He finally said and crossed the doors that would lead him to the mansion’s garden. 

When Suga was outside the house he felt someone grab him by the arm “Hey, the fuck is happening to you? You're not like that Hyung” it was Jhope who had followed him from the other room, clearly worried about him “Why are you so worked up? Are you... are you in love with her?”

“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Hope”  he answered trying to hide any emotion on his face.

Indifference was his best weapon.

But not with Jhope.

The younger man's eyes softened a little as he understood his brother's expression “Please don't lie to me, Hyung. I've known you since we were kids and we've both taken a bullet for each other...but if I was kidnapped today you wouldn't lose your head. Not like this.”

It was true, he had taken a bullet for Jhope years ago in the middle of a shootout but he probably wouldn't have a catfight in the middle of the room with Namjoon to protect him.

Probably.

“Let me rephrase the question. Do you care that much?” Suga knew he couldn’t lie to Jhope, his younger brother knew him too well. He could see through his every facade. 

The thing is, he didn't know the answer himself.

Did he like having sex with you? Hell yes.

Did he like talking to you? Yes, he did.

Did he like the way you smiled at him right before you kissed him or the way you looked at him when he told you one of his twisted stories?

Like you didn’t judge him. 

Like you understood him. 

Like you didn't see him as a monster, but as a man.

Oh, shit.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙  Last night...

“Tell me the stupidest thing you've ever done to get someone’s attention” Suga had asked you the night before while you were both still lying naked on your bed.

You let out an amused laugh “You have probably already seen it on my body. It 's embarrassing.” 

Suga laughed with you, the sound was warm and his eyes were locked on yours “Nothing on your body is embarrassing to me.” he said and you rolled your eyes. 

“Be serious” 

“I am” he pushed a rouge strand of hair behind your ears and you decided to continue talking before you got distracted with other things” 

“When I was 16 I got a Star Wars tattoo because the boy I liked liked Star Wars. I wanted to surprise him the first time he saw me naked he would see the jedi symbol” now you both started laughing “Don't judge me, haven't you done something stupid to get someone's attention?”

“Maybe.” Was the only thing he answered. 

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Here 's the thing.

Suga had gone to a tattoo parlor this morning.

That was his unfinished business.

He was getting a fucking Star Wars tattoo on his ribs. 

Right where you had it. 

He hasn't even watched the movies. 

Not even the new ones.

Oh, he was down bad.  And now he had to go see his dead mother.

Scratch that.

He had to go see his un-dead mother.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 

Somewhere else in the house.

“The fuck do you mean you didn’t do this. This is not what we agreed on.” Namjoon's deep voice could barely be heard inside The Leader’s office. The tall man was standing in front of the window as he spoke into the phone “Then fucking find her Yong or I’ll make sure you are going to wish I kill you.” 

Yong.

The rumored dragon head of the triad.

The Second in command of the Seven Moons, had given the order to kidnap you. 

On his scheme to secure his place as the heir. 

He needed that for his plan to work. 

When you told him this morning that you were going to visit Grace and that you didn't need so many people following you around, the young gangster thought it was the perfect opportunity to put the next part of his plan into action.

But something went horribly wrong. 

And now he was the one who was betrayed.

“What have you done Namjoon-ah?” The voice of the eldest brother brought him out of his thoughts and he looked at him completely surprised  “Out of all the people I thought would betray our father, I would never think of you.”

“Hyung... “

“Just tell me that, whatever you're doing, you won't hurt Miss Nari, Joon. If there is someone innocent in all this, it's her.” Jin finished entering the office looking at his brother with disbelief. 

Seokjin looked at him with the eyes of an older brother. Hopefully waiting for all this to be a mistake. 

Because if Namjoon betrayed his father. 

He was a dead man walking.

But the elder also knew very well the resentment that Namjoon had grown up with. If someone has been hurt by Kim DoHan, it was his own son. Although he wanted to be wrong, Seokjin knew well what was in his younger brother's heart.

Revenge.

And that was not far from his own feelings.

“I came to think that all this love triangle, teenage fiction with Suga really meant that you liked the girl.” He poured himself a shot of the expensive whiskey that his father had in the office and let out a sigh before drinking it all at once “You will have to explain everything very well to understand you, Joon-ah”

Jin was the closest person to Namjoon in the clan, he saw him as an older brother. As a child he was the example of what he wanted to become one day, he hated to see that look of disappointment in his eyes “Hyung, you know perfectly well what my reasons are, I'm not going to stand by and wait for Kim DoHan to take away what is rightfully mine and hand it over on a silver platter to that asshole. She's just a means to an end.”

Before the younger one continued, Jin interrupted him, "If you want me to help you, you have to explain everything without lying to me this time.”

Kim Seokjin was the eldest of the seven moons.

And like all of them, he had lost much more than he had earned in all this time.

He would give all his money, cars, luxuries, fine clothes and contacts to have his family back with him.

But that was impossible.

And for the impossible, there is only revenge.

Break a promise, lose a finger.

If that really applied in the Seven Moon’s clan as it should, they would  have had all their hands and feet cut off.

Anger was an uncontrollable fire that burned everything in its path, it was useful, yes.

But for both clan leaders, retribution was much better and more satisfying.

A calm sea that was about to turn into a Tsunami.

A cold wave that will destroy everything on it's path.

Many games were played within the walls of the mansion of the 7 moons.

And your time was running out.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙  Hello!!! I'm sorry it took too long! I got sick and I was so tired I couldn't even read... much less write. BUT I'm catching up with all of you that are sending me messages, thank you you guys are so sweet!! 🥹 I mean, everytime someone says they're enjoying Hate! Makes me giggle like a teenager. Let me be honest, I'm enjoying writing this just as much. This chapter turned out to be one of my favs 👀 I wasn't like this on my original story and I am really liking how it is turning out.

Anyway, Hope you liked this one too!! Ps. I have Hate!11 Almost ready... what do you say double update tomorrow??

From the bottom of my chicken heart,

Thank you.

Love,

Ria 🌙

Tag List @drunkzseok @allamericanuniverse @catlove83 @baby-cherry @officialholyagua

If you want to join the tag list. You can coment this post or send me an ask!

[hailey-murdock]

Lose you

Paring: Matt Murdock x Fem!reader

Warnings:(for this entire series) Angst, death, illness, nightmare, established relationship, drinking, depression, use of pet names, fluff, minor but implied smut, mentions of college Matt and reader(let me know if I missed something out)

Summary: Matt "the man without fear" may not after all be that. He fears he'll lose the person he most loves

WC: 2.1K

Other characters: Foggy Nelson, Frank Castle

A/N: Hello sweeties, I've decided to make a Matt Murdock series. There will be 4 chapters for this series. Grab tissues cause this shit is sad. (Reblogs, comment and likes are appreciated).

You were enjoying a quiet evening with Matt in your apartment. You had wrapped your arms around Matt feeling weak and tired and out of nowhere I started feeling sick.

"M-Matt….. I-".

Matt put his hand on your shoulder.

"What's wrong? " Matt got worried and he kept holding you close.

"Hey, I'll do anything for you, you know that, right? Just tell me what you need. You are the most important thing. Nothing else matters."

He got scared the moment he heard your heart beating slow. He grabbed his phone and called an ambulance immediately. 

You tried to nod but you felt so weak and your eyes began to close and your heartbeat got slower by the second. Matt was really scared. He didn’t want to lose you. He picked you up in his arms and tried to keep you awake.

"Hey, it’s OK. Stay with me….Hey, look at me. Please don’t leave. Please…" He kept his arms wrapped around you and he shook you a little. "Please, sweetheart. Please."

Matt was crying and tears were in his soft brown eyes. He had never felt so worried. He didn’t wanna lose you. You were the love of my life. 

"M-Matt h-hospital". You whispered softly to him. "Yes. I'll take you to a hospital." He got up holding you in my arms. He didn't let you go. Matt carried you to the closest hospital and he made sure to get her a bed right away. He tilted his head in the direction of where a doctor was and he ran to him. "My girlfriend is unconscious. I want you to make sure she's ok and will be ok."

The doctor came over right away and started examining you. He seemed worried, too. Matt waited outside. He was shaking from worrying about you. You had already gone through so much in life. Matt would never forgive himself if anything happened to you. He couldn’t live without you, the woman who he deeply loved, the one person who gave him purpose, a reason to want to keep fighting, to breathe.

Matt held his head with one hand. He  just wanted to make sure you were safe and that you were ok. He tried to calm himself down but he just couldn’t. He was just so scared. The doctor came out to see Matt and he sighed as he walked towards him."Are you family?"

"I’m her boy-....I'm her husband." Matt was getting desperate of the silence of the doctor, the way sweat formed on his forehead and his breathing was uneven.

"What is it? What happened? She was talking to me normally and then she became unconscious. How is she? Is she in trouble? Is she going to be ok?" Matt needed answers to all of his questions, he felt his world slowly falling apart.

"She's still alive, she's sleeping at the moment but I do have news."

"What is it?" Matt's  heart was beating really fast as he got ready for the worst. "Just tell me. I can handle anything. Just tell me that she’ll be ok." 

"We ran some exams and we noticed something…we found a tumor in her brain…. that caused her to become unconscious….I'm sorry son".

Cancer? Matt started shaking. "Please...no...."

Matt wanted to cry. He felt so worried and his throat felt dry. "How...how bad is it? What can you do? I'll do anything for her. Please." Matt couldn't contain his tears, he felt his knees weak. Somehow he was still standing but the news couldn't get inside his mind.

"That's the thing she's at the first stage, luckily we detected it early and not way too far later. She's gonna have to need treatment, there's no possibility that she'll be cured but we'll do everything we can to help her."

"T-thank you. Thank you." Matt breathed a sigh of relief. It was still scary and it was going to be a rough fight, but at least she wasn't going to die…or at least that's what he hoped for. "Can I see her? Is she ok enough to talk?" Matt needed to be with you, he needed your help to ground him back. But over all, Matt just needed you.

"She's asleep but if you would like to be there with her you can."

Matt nodded at the doctor. He took a deep breath. "Yes, I would like that. I want to be by her side. She needs me and I'm not letting her be alone in this fight." 

The doctor understood his pain and nodded. "Well follow me then." As the small walk to your room made Matt think of the outcomes of this new news. Once Matt gets there he feels your cold body on the bed sleeping. He  walked into the room slowly. He got closer to the bed and he tilted his head towards you. You were asleep. Matt sat down next to you and he took your hand and he held it. He wanted, no he needed to hear your sweet angelic voice, so he called out your name gently.

Matt waited for you to wake up. He felt worried and his heart was beating fast. He hoped that you could hear him. You slowly started to wake up and you turned your head and you saw Matt and smiled softly. "H-hi Matty." When he realized you were waking up, he smiled.

"Hey, sweetheart." He squeezed your hand gently. "It's me. I'm here with you. I'm here and we'll get through this together. You'll never be alone. And I've got you. I'll be here for you. I'm not moving from here until you get better and we'll spend the rest of our lives together." Matt smiled as he continued to hold your hand and he kept squeezing it. "How do you feel?"

"I'm tired but what are you talking about? What do you mean by "We'll get through this together Matty?"

"Didn't the doctor tell you? They found cancer. They said it was cancer." His voice started to get slightly shaky. He felt so bad but I wanted to be honest at the same time.

"But...they said it was early….You'll still live a full life. They said there were a lot of things they could do. You'll be ok". Matt tried to smile for you but he felt sick to his stomach as the words left his mouth.

"Cancer? That's impossible. There's no way that could happen to me".

Matt held your hand and held you a little closer. "I know. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I feel so useless, I wish there was something I could do to help you". Matt wanted to keep holding you because it felt safe and comforting.

"But...I will be with you through all of it. I'm not leaving your side. And you'll never be alone. I'm with you and you're the strongest person I've ever met in my life. You are the most important person in this world to me. I love you. And that won't ever change".

You stayed in Matt's arms not returning the hug or anything as you still didn't get through my head anything of what he said. Matt stayed quiet and he just held you. He was worried and didn't know what to say. He sat there with his hand around you. All he wanted was to hug you and hold you close to him. He couldn't speak. And he didn't want to leave you or leave your side while you were going through this. Matt wanted you to know that you weren't alone. He loved you and he would do anything for you.

"When can I go back home?" You said in a very quiet voice.

"They said they'd want you to stay here for about a week, but then, they'll want you to stay at home and rest. You will still have to go back here every day for exams and checkups. We can go home after a week or so. They'll let us know all the details……Do you want to be held? I know this is a lot but...I can't ever leave you. Not when you're here. I'm here always".

You nod softly as you answer "y-yeah....I just want to go home Matty". Matt felt his heart breaking into small pieces. How could you, an innocent and sweet person who has done no wrong in your entire life be punished with such illness. "I know, baby. It's a lot. And it's not fair". He was starting to tear up but he held himself back. "But we'll get through this. I'll be there every step of the way. You're strong, sweetheart. You're stronger than anyone should have to be, but I know you can do this. We're together and we'll go through this together".

"W-what if I-". You felt your throat dry up and unable to form any sentences as you thought of the possibilities of what could happen in the future.

Matt of course understood what you meant but he didn't want to think about it. How could he live in a world without the person who he loved deeply. "What if what, sweetheart"?

He couldn’t help but feel scared. Matt felt the tears building up again. He didn't want to think that anything would happen to you. He loves you so much. Not being with you ever again? Matt couldn't think about it. He felt terrified, but he didn't want to give up.

"Nothing is going to happen to you. We're together and you're strong."

You took off Matt's red glasses and looked into his eyes. "But what if I do die"? The last word comes out as a whisper  that if someone was there they wouldn't have heard you but Matt did. 

His heart was already bleeding because of what had just happened. But now, he completely broke down when he heard you ask that. Matt was crying and shaking. He couldn't speak. He felt broken and his heart was completely shattered. He loved you so much and he wasn’t ready for that to happen or ever to happen. He was scared now more than ever. Matt was known as "The man without fear". But now, he feared losing the only person he truly ever loved. Matt was in complete disbelief. But your question and your words were so real. They were so real. Matt didn't want to lose you. Nothing in this world mattered without you. 

Tears fell down your face just like Matt, the both of you in complete pain. "I don't want to leave you alone Matt....I can't do that to you". Your heart was broken, just like you needed Matt in your life, he needed you as well. The idea of Matt alone and sad made you feel bad even if it wasn't your fault.

 He kept crying when you said that. Matt put his arms around you and he held her close. He shook as he was crying. "No! Please, no."

Matt couldn't stop the tears, he was crying so much. He held you even more closer, afraid that you could slip through his hands. "Please don't say that. We're going to get through this. You're not gonna die. I'll be there every step of the way. It'll be alright."

The tears kept coming, and he couldn't stop them. You pulled Matt's face in front of yours and you kissed him to make you stop thinking about the slight possibility of you dying. Matt's heart skipped a beat. And he felt his stomach warm as you kissed him. It made him so happy and for a minute it made him forget everything. It was so unexpected and the kiss felt like an eternity. You pulled away from it to breathe and Matt smiled at you. "Well, I guess that works to stop my tears".

Matt tried to move his eyes to where her face would be. He couldn't stop smiling. It felt so good to have you in his arms. He squeezed her tightly. You are the love of his life. Matt still had an enormous smile on his face.

"I love you, sweetheart". Matt pulled you close to him and he put his arm around you. He kissed your head. "You're gonna be alright."

"We're gonna be alright". 

Matt smiled and squeezed your hand a little bit. "You're...completely right. I'm so sorry I just freaked out. I just...I don't want to ever lose you. You're everything to me. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. And I don't think I ever will again".

He squeezed your hand harder and he held you close. It's like Matt wanted to hug you forever.

"It's okay baby, I know if the roles were reversed I would freak out too. I love you Matthew Michael Murdock". 

"I love you more sweetheart".

Next: Chapter 2

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

Shinsou fluff alphabet

Starting off this blog the right way

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

He really likes your eyes

Hes definitely the type of person that puppy dog eyes work on

When you look up at him with those pretty eyes he just melts into them

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

He would want a baby eventually

Like after you get married

But he loves the thought of having a baby with you

Seeing which traits come out from both of you

Or adopting a baby, he thinks that would be awesome too

He loves kids, hes just kinda scared that he doesn't know how to take care of them

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He is the c li n g I est mf

He acts like hes not but he is

He doesn't have a preference when it comes to being the little or big sppon

He loves holding you

Just wrapping his arms around your shoulders or waist and hugging you as tight as possible while pressing little kisses onto your forehead

And when you hold him he melts

He feels so loved and wanted

Play with his hair plz plz plz

His eyes will flutter shut and hell just be like

"Mmm... so comfy"

It's so cute

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Toshi is pretty spontaneous

So dates will either be

Let's go out at 3 in the morning and run around the city and buy junk food

Or

"Babe, I got us reservations for this super fancy restaurant so make sure you get dressed up. Were leaving in an hour."

They're always fun tho, even the more formal dates are super silly with you two making jokes and just being crackheads

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

To Hitoshi, you are his inspiration

His reason for moving forward in life

Before you, his only goal was to become a hero - and even then no one seemed to believe he could

Then theres you

You who tells him that his quirk does not make him evil

It's super effective against villains

hell be a pro hero someday

Before he wanted to become hero simply because why not

But now he wants to become a hero for you, to show you that your positive words were not misplaced and he is someone you can count on

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It was one night after he was training with Aizawa in martial arts (since he knows his quirk isnt the most effective in battle if he cant get it to work)

And he walked out of the field to see you standing there with this big smile on your face

"What are you doing here? It's late, you should go home."

"I was but then I saw you training and wanted to watch 😊"

He kinda gives you a weird look and is like why

"Cause you're super cool Shinsou! If I wanna be a pro hero I need to make sure I can get strong too, so I wanted to take some pointers."

His eyes widen and hes like- you think I'm cool??? Me who has to do this training cause my quirk is useless most the time?? Me who's quirk actually sucks?? You think I'm cool.

You just give him this big smile and you're like well ya anyways see you tomorrow

And he kinda is just like fuckfuckfuckfuckdu kkckcdudyhsj the whole way home cause wow you're super cute and you're the only person to ever praise him like that

He lies awake all night and is like I'm in love fuk

So ya, he was in love long before you even started dating

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Hes so gentle with you

Like hell brush your hair out of your face and move it behind your ear

When you kiss his hand kinda just cups your jaw and his thumb rubs your cheek

He presses little kisses on your forehead when you hug

Theres times when he can be more rough, but you're his baby and he cherishes you so much

He doesn't wanna scare you in any way and treats you so well

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

When you're walking he likes to place his fingers with yours and holds onto your hand tight

But other than that, he prefers holding your hand by placing his on top of yours and lacing his fingers while his thumb rubs your pinky

Hell pick up your hand and press kisses on it

Lowkey to tease you cause he likes to see you blush but still

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

His first impression of you wasn't the best? It wasn't the worst either tho

He first met you at the sports festival

You were fighting after he did, so when he was walking back and you were going out you saw him

So you were like "great job in the match!!"

And he thought you were teasing him cause he felt he horribly lost so he got kinda pissed

And was like "ya whatever"

He realized you weren't lying later tho, when you kept talking to him whenever you would see him at school

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Oooooh yes, boy gets so jealous

You're HIS baby, not anyone elses

Hes put up with a lot of shit and a lot of shitty people and now that he has someone who loves him and he adores back - he doesn't like the fear of losing them

It's less of he gets angry when people flirt with you and more of he gets scared

Hes scared hes not the best and that you might decide you'll leave

He knows you love him and are loyal to him, but he cant shake that fear

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

So he initiated the first kiss

It was after your first date, and he kinda just kissed you out of nowhere (and you didn't mind at all)

While he does kiss you fairly gently, its lots of times a way to tease you

He loves to kiss you more roughly- the kinds of kisses that leave you breathless and your lips bruised

But he starts gentle half the time so that you get frustrated and have to try and make him kiss you deeper

Lots of tongue

Lots and lots of tongue

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

You did

Again, He knew he loved you before you started dating

But he didn't wanna put you off by saying it too soon so he waited for you

He did things to help you know he loved you, but he waited until you said it

The first time you said it you were cuddling

You were lying on his chest and he was playing with your hair on his bed and you quietly said "I love you Toshi. So much.."

His eyes widened and he got the biggest smile on his face

"I love you too baby"

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

His favorite memory with you is probably one of your first dates

He took you to an amusement park

You were holding hands the whole time and you were so happy throughout the whole night

Hearing your beautiful laugh, being able to play the games with you and win you prizes since hes for some reason super good at them, getting to be that annoying couple that just cuddles in all the lines

He was in heaven

of course you had to do the stereotypical couple thing and ride the ferris wheel

But! It got stuck when you were almost to the top (if only it had been at the top - it would have been peak amusement park date romance)

You two were so ready to kiss at the top, but now you get to make out for like 30 minutes?? Awesome!

Getting to have a whole photo shoot together with all the pretty lights from the park and the city?? Double awesome!

Sitting in the cramped seat and being able to just talk and cuddle without worrying about school or anything?? Tripple awesome!!!

Everything about the night was perfect, and now you two love going on amusement park dates (tho none will ever beat this one)

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

He won't Spoil you too much, hes broke anyways

Besides, hes not the most materialistic person anyways so he would rather give you gifts of like dates and stuff

When he does give gifts, it's more personal things

Hell spoil you for your birthday and anniversary tho, if you really want something hell do his best to get you it

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Pink

Why?

Because he loves that cute blush of yours ~

He teases you all the time, anything to get you to blush

So when he sees a pink, especially in the shade of your blush, he kinda smirks and is like aw

Also, its such a soft color, and you're his baby so he gets soft for you

So honestly pastel colors remind him of you too, but mainly pink

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

ANYTHING that will get you to blush

Hes tested out them all

Honey, sugar, babydoll, bub, cutie, EVERYTHING

But his favorites are baby, and kitten.

He likes cats so he tested out kitten and the BLUSH that erupted on your face, he was hooked

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

My dude he is so into ball room dancing

Like I guess that's modern if you're rich, but neither of you are so that's something you only see in like old movies

Dead ass he took you to an abandoned castle just to dance with you while he played music from like the 40s

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Loves rain

Wants to go play in it

He will drag you out into the rain so that you can run around and act like little kids

Then you'll come in eventually so you dont get sick and make tea and cuddle

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Hes more of the type that will just ignore his feelings when hes sad

Like it's no big deal they'll go away

But you got mad at him for doing that so now - he just tells you

Hell text you and be like "hey.. can we cuddle..."

And you'll immediately know what's up and run to cheer him up

When you're sad, he takes a more direct approach

He wants you to tell him straight up what's wrong, and hes willing to wait if you need time

Hell hold you until you're ready, but he won't leave until you're feeling better

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He loves gossipping

Like you two talking about dumb stuff your classmates do

Makes up like 70% of your conversations

Also about movies, or TV shows, hes into a lot of fandoms and loves talking about them

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

You

Playing

With

His

Hair

That's it

Hes stressed? He will plop himself into your lap and you just know

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

He likes showing off his martial art skills honestly

Hes gotten good at them, and many of the students dont bother with learning any formal fighting style since they're more into just using their quirk or swinging as they please

So it's something hes proud of

Hes also proud of it cause the 2 people he looks up to the most - aizawa and you - are also proud of him for it

So he loves showing you new things hes learned, or showing you how to do them so that you can be safer

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Again, hes spontaneous, so it kinda just came out

You two were just goofing around one night - spending time with each other since soon you would go into working at an agency since you had graduated

He was just thinking about how much hes gonna miss not being able to be around you all the time

So this man deadass ran into a gas station that was still open, bought a ring pop, and ran back out and was like

"Shit babe I'm so sorry this is such a horrible proposal but I'm doing it cause I don't wanna back out so- (y/n), will you marry me?"

Hes down on one knee holding this ring pop and he expected you to start laughing (you did later) but instead you started crying and you just jump into his arms nodding

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Serendipity by BTS

His world changed when he met you, the love his life

Theres so much hurt in life, and you are his happiness

Even when you two fight, you only come back stronger

Hes so happy with you, and so hes worried that something will happen to take you away from him

This song kinda captures that

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Yes

All the time

He planned it a few times fully before when he actually did, and they were all much more romantic than the ring pop

He thought of the ring and everything

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Cat

Do I even need to say that

He wants you two to be crazy cat parents so bad

Even tho the max you ever have at a time is 2