#“i can fix him” i'll make him wors | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iceprincessviviane · 1 year ago

Text

In silence

Type: Dark romance, may be read as soft yandere

Paring: CEO!Namjoon x Shy!Skinny!P.A!Female!Reader

Genere: mix of everything, beaware - smut.

It's a oneshot.

Warnings: Dark romance, alcohol, smut and sexual themes - size kink, dirty talk, unprotected sex, possessivness, marking and creampie. Brief swearing, breaking up and cheating, low selfesteem, age gap (around 5 years), abusing power as boss (nothing too much), reader is skinny - around 40kg-45kg and silly jokes creates by me. English isn't my first language so sorry for all mistakes.

Author's note: It's technically my first smut, so it can be a little cringe.

Dedicated to @aft3rhrs because this beautiful meance (angel) has always support me so there is a piece of my work. Also please check her content is absolute amazing!

Minors please do not interact.

Namjoon was fixing his a little creased and elegant shirt in elevator. His hand went through silver, disheveled hair and he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't look that bad, his brothers have seen him in worse condition. He just didn't want them to notice almost immediately. He stepped out in 47 floor, for a short period of time looking at city down below. This time they were meeting in Jin's new apartment. He moved a little bit closer to centrum, but his house on outskirts were always available. Heavy steps echoed through hall, when he sped up. Namjoon was late exactly fifteen minutes.

Taehyung opened door with mischevious smile, everyone greeted him, J-hope came for a brothely hug. Jin looked at him from kitchen, adding last touches to dishes he prepared.

"Look who it is. Even Jimin was be able to be on time." Yoongi teased crossing his legs elegantly on a couch.

"Hyung!" Jimin hissed with a offend.

"Car traffic." Namjoon shrugged placing a bottle of expensive wine on countertop.

"Don't you have the most skilled driver?" Jin said looking at him with amusement.

"Will you stop?" Namjoon snapped a little.

"Don't talk back to elders." Yoongi pointed at him with his finger.

Namjoon sighed sitting down and taking off his expensive jacket. Jungkook was observing him carefuly with bunny smile. He looked at his hyungs giving them almost invisible nod.

"Nice place Jin I must admit."

"Thanks. I'll be finally able to see you all often."

All of the cheered at his statement. The oldest placed his dishes on coffee table. There were mostly snacks and Jimin opened this expensive bottle filling everyone's glass.

"I have also something stronger." Jin said sitting down.

"We don't wanna to get drunk hyung." Jungkook stated reaching for a fork.

The conversation has begun, they were talking about almost everything, but mostly about job. Each one of them was successful CEO, their parents were friends and they have met in early childhood. Their bond was more than a friendship, they were a brothers. Protecting each other, caring about each other and worring about each other. As soon as their complains stopped and all the jokes were told a silence has fell upon them. All eyes were fixed on Namjoon, he gulped on his glass.

"What?" He asked bluntly.

"You would deceive us, but this expensive, feminine perfumes are all over your body." Yoongi said tilting his head a little on right.

"Isn't that the right time to make a move? How long does she work for you? Three years?" Jin asked.

Namjoon sighed and put down his glass looking at his brothers. He clenched his jaw.

"Yes, three years. But she has a boyfriend."

"As if that mean something." Taehyung scoffed.

"Seriously hyung you need to quit fucking around and take matters in your own hand." Hobi said softly looking at his hyung with worry.

"You won't forget her through that, I know what I am saying." Jimin added.

"Unless you'll fire her." Yoongi summed up.

"Fuck, never. Besides all of this she is a great P.A. with my clumsiness and forgotting stuff, I would be doomed." Namjoon stated.

"So we have an answer." Jin said looking at him waiting.

"Look guys, I appreciate your concern, but I don't want to scare off with any movements or make her hate herself or blame. She might quit or ran away."

"I am pretty sure that you are perfectly capable of convincing someone to stay at your side." Yoongi noticed playing with his glass.

"Yeah and you can totally attract anyone hyung, not to mention all the women you fucked up in previous three months." Jungkook shrugged.

"And if you're afraid of breaking her, then do it and fix it." J-hope helped with serious gaze.

}*{

The morning went very smooth, Namjoon was passing through his building with wide smile, diamples showing, some workers greeted their boss and his smile improved humor a lot of them. It was past lunch time, he had to do something earlier so only now coming to his office. He entered big room with wide windows, large desk behind them and armchair.

"Good morning Mr-Mr. Kim." This little hesitation made him stop on his tracks.

Under a wall, near the entrance was another desk, but smaller. A lot of shelves, computer monitor, binders and board with pinned small papers. He looked at his personal assistant with surprise, but she seemed to ran away from his gaze, lean to look on papers, hiding face. His brows almost met each other in deep frown, but he decided to be quiet about it. He put away his light coat, it was spring but sometimes the cold wind was showing up, took his laptop and sat behind desk. The room has been filled by silence, but not one, that Namjoon enjoyed. Usually it was comfortable silence, which was distrubed by keyboard or shuffling on his or her side. Today it was like her fingers were typing almost silently, long hair covered almost all of her face. He really wanted to ask what happend, but she would said as always 'Everything is okay Mr.Kim, thank you for your concern.', but nothing was so visible as today's matter. On right side of her desk was a finished cup of tea, nothing more. Namjoon frowned again.

"Did you have your lunch break Miss L/N?" He asked looking at her.

She jumped at sudden silence breaking, slowly looked at her boss and noded. "Yes Mr. Kim."

She was paler than ususal and cheeks a little bit reddish. Make up little stronger, than he know. It had him wonder. Y/N was always dressing aproppriate to work, neat and crisp shirt following by pencil, long skirt then usually elegant jacket, because even in spring she would be cold in the office. She went back to her work, but he was distracted, fighting inside to ask or to remain silent.

"You seem to be little away with your thoughts."

"I-I'm sorry Mr.Kim. It won't happened again."

Her little figure shrugged and shrinked under his words. He didn't mean it in harsh way, but in a chance for her to explain, well it didn't work. During whole day he noticed as she was looking at the wall in front of her with glassy eyes. When finally the end of the work has come, he really wanted to ask her, but she hurriedly turned off her PC, excused herself with early bus and went out taking her things.

Y/N has never allowed herself to cross any line between boss and worker, that's why Namjoon was so hesitant to make any move towards her. But now he felt like the small bond between them was fading and she was slipping out of his grasp, running away for unknown for him reasons. He won't be having any of this. Never.

}*{

Sun was no longer on the sky, when Namjoon grabbed his phone and dialed Y/N's number. He was sitting in his wide and luxorious apartment still distracted by his P.A behaviour. Outside started to rain, but he couldn't care less. She picked up almost immediatly.

"Yes Mr Kim?" He could swear that her voice was a little shaking in the beginnig.

"I'm sorry to calling you on that time, but I really need to adjust my schedule. I'm afraid that, I need your help with that. Also it's Friday and I want to do it immediately." It was all lies, but he would do anything, to have her in his apartment right now.

"It's all right boss, after all it's not that late. I will come to office with all my notes." She reassured him.

"There is no need for you to come to the office. I will send a driver, we'll meet in my apartment." He stated using his soft tone.

"I-... of course Mr. Kim." She corrected herself.

Then, he hung up. Namjoon knew where she was living due to workers files, he sent his driver and started to clear living room and thinking about credible reason, why he need to redo his schedule. Not even an hour has passed, when he suddenly heard a ringbell. He straightened his elegant shirt, fixed hair and glasses. On the coffee table was lying laptop with few papers scattered. Namjoon opened door with little smile.

She looked stunning with cheeks marked by cold, evening wind, hair free and little wild and shy demanor. Her outift was the same as in the office today. To be honest, he also had the same clothes. He let her inside and closed carefully door. Y/N started to taking her coat, when Namjoon's strong hands helped her.

"Thank you sir." She mubled grabbing her bag and peaking around a little.

"No problem, please make yourself home."

After taking off shoes, he lead her to coffee table with two armchairs in opposite sides. She sat down her and took out trusted notebook with some papers.

"Coffee, tea?" Namjoon asked looking at her.

"There is no need." She lifted her eyesight unsure.

"You should get warm after being outside and I am afraid that we will spend some time on this."

"Then tea, if it's possible." She said polietly.

He nodded and took two cups, little bags of herbs, each in different taste, then kettle full with hot water.

"Choose your favourite, but be careful it's really hot." Namjoon said and the took a seat. He already know her favourite one, but didn't want to scare her. As he suspected she picked it and put into a cup.

"I want to have free on Tuesday and Wednesday, I see we have a couple of meetings in those days." He started looking at his laptop's screen.

"Yes." Y/N checked her notes. "They are not so important, but the issue is that the Thursday and Friday are packed... and we wouldn't want to delay that stuff..."

"Plus there's a meeting with Mr. Lee, he's a important chairman." Namjoon added.

"Yes sir." Y/N agreed. "Maybe I could call him and put this meeting actually in next week, but in the early evening?"

"That would be perfect, I can pull a longer day of working. How about you?"

"Of course Sir."

They were able to clear schedule for incoming Tuesday and Wednesday, but making next week more busy. If Mr. Lee woukd agree, there would be a meeting at 6 a.m anf it meant whole day of working for both of them. P.A declared that during a weekend she is going to make necessary calls to make it real. Namjoon was stealing glances at her behind his laptop. It was now or never.

"Actually Miss L/N, are you sure, you want to come to work for full shift during my absence and then, in next week work till late hours?" He asked with the softest tone. "I'm not questioning your skills, I'm just concerned."

"I'm sure." She said slowly. "I'll prepare files for the meetings with Mr. Lee."

"Today you looked a little tired. I was actually hesitant to call you." He pressured a little.

"I-I'm perfectly fine. If it's everything, I'll be heading home. It's getting late." She muttered meekly.

Y/N started picking her things really fast, when she stood up, Namjoon was able to catch the sight of her eyes - all glossy. He also got up, but she already went to the door, clutching a belt from a bag in her hands.

"Wait!" CEO pleaded, but she didn't listen.

When P.A reached hand for a door handle, he caught her wrist and yanked, turning her around to face him. His worried features met tears streaming down her soft cheeks. Namjoon grabbed Y/N's arms to prevent any escape attempts.

"Tell me what happend." He demanded in tone mixed of authority and worry.

"It's so embarrassing..." She whispered trying to wipe out tears.

"You can trust me." Namjoon reassured and looked into her eyes intensly.

Because of that Y/N looked down and her voice was still but a whisper. "M-My boyfriend. He cheated on me, couldn't stand how do I look. He said that he need a real woman, then broke up with me."

Her knees gave up, seemed like a confession took her whole strength. Namjoon was able to catch falling woman, embracing her and then sitting on the floor. Small figure between his legs with cheek pressed to his wide and firm chest. CEO's blood has boiled because of her words. In addition to that, it looked like dam has bursted and now she was crying strongly, staining white shirt with hot tears. Y/N's body was shaking terribly, as if it was going to shatter into pieces without his strong arms around her waist.

"He's an idiot." Namjoon said seriously looking down a her.

"It wasn't a first time, I heard something like this..." she admitted quietly curling inside.

"Please don't care about that shit talking, it isn't true." He whispered softly.

"Then why did he do that? Why did he approach me when wasn't attracted to me in a psychical way?" Cute sniff reached his ears. "And why he had to marked it so harshly?"

"Because he's an idiot." Joon repeated with a frown, but she couldn't see it.

"It doesn't matter, even if again someone is going to like me, my looks'll scare them off."

Namjoon sighed quietly couldn't believe what he's hearing right now. His thumbs rubbed comfortly her sides in attempt to calm her down. After some time the tears slowed and quiet sniffes could be heard. Y/N's body relaxed a little, wasn't that tense as before, so Namjoon carefuly put an arm under her knees then lifted without any troubles. Really she was so light, he could carry her with one hand. His P.A squirmed a little realizing the situation.

"Don't worry, I won't drop you." He chuckled slighty.

"I should go home..."

"You can stay for a while, my driver will take you home once you are going to calm down."

Namjoon took her back to living room, where the coffee table was and put on a couch carefuly, then took off a jacket and covered her shoulders with it. He sat beside and pushed back on his nose glasses, hearing her taking a deep breath, then their eyes meet. Y/N froze and fixed her eyesight on a coffee table.

"Sir it's inappropriate. I really should go."

"If I want to be a good boss, I need to take a good care of my employees right?" Namjoon smiled showind his diamples.

Y/N nodded slowly, but hugged her knees, then rubbed cheeks to take rid off tears. He hand her tissue to wipe leftovers and smeared make up.

"I'll make another tea?"

"Yes please."

He got up and went to an open kitchen, to take a kettle with a hot water. When he came back, she looked more comfortable, sitting properly. Scent from his jacket hit her nose, plesant chocolate and honey made her relax a little.

"You feel better?" Joon asked sitting right beside after filling again her cup.

"Yes... thank you Sir."

"And please don't hate yourself or care when people are talking about your looks. You are beautiful." He marked with soft smile.

"You think I'm beautiful?" She clenched the cup harder looking at him meekly.

"Yes, I do miss L/N." Namjoon said with smirk. "Not only me, some people in the office too."

Y/N giggled slighty at that news and a warm feeling spread inside her chest following by blush on cheeks.

"Thank you sir."

"Please call me Namjoon."

"I can't." She sighed quietly.

"What if I want to?" He looked at her, his gaze calm but face serious. Being this close she realized how big her boss was with wide shoulders, chest and strong arms. She gulped slighty thinking about right words.

"Thank you sir, but I shouldn't brag about my private life and problems. It was unprofessional and will never happen again."

"I'm glad that you did. Sometimes those things can dig a hole in a soul and I could reassure you that you're in fact stunning."

Blush on her cheeks was now more reddish and visible, Namjoon smiled showing his diamples, but she looked away. He had none of it, grabbing her chin gently, to make her look at him. Y/N released a shaky breath looking at him with eyes wide open. The proximity was so much, everything become silent at once. She wanted to say something, but he just leaned in connecting thier lips in a sweet, slow kiss. Y/N could feel Namjoon's presence everywhere, his scent from jacket, warmness radiating from his body and soft lips on hers. When they broke away from kiss his forehead touched hers, deep breaths filling the silence.

"I can show you how beautiful you are." He said in raspy voice, causing her to shudder. "I can take care of you, if you just let me..."

Second kiss was more intense, knocking breath out of her lungs. Y/N could feel his scent causing her head to spin, his hands found a way back on her waist. She placed hers on his chest and pushed a little. He held back looking at his assistant if there wasn't anything else, she looked conflicted and hesitant, Joon chuckeled deeply.

"Focus on me." He said caressing her reddish cheek with such care.

Y/N nodded following him, kiss deepened and Namjoon managed to pulled her on his lap, her delicate hands on his firm shoulders looking for a support. His chest released a deep rumble and his lips moved to kiss her jaw gently then focused on neck, soft whimper escaped from her causing CEO to smirk against her hot skin. He kissed her pulse, feeling it fastened because of that.

"You smell so nice." A whisper which caused her to squirm a little.

Whole room was on fire, her skin was on fire it was almost unbearable. She pulled away calmly only to see Namjoon wetting his lips, sinful it was but so goddamn sexy.

"I need to use bathroom."

He nodded with little smirk. "Second doors on a left."

She left his lap a little awkwardly and put away his jacket - there was hot anyway. It was small bathroom only with a toilet, sink, small cabinet and shelf. Y/N removed the smeared make up completly and corrected it a little, also put cold water on her cheeks and forhead. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"What are you doing?"

It helped her calm a little and think what's next, she just make out with her boss for God's sake. Yes, he was handsome and attractive but also caring and kind. It was a mix hard to resist. After taking care of everything she left and closed bathroom's door quietly. The apartment was now quiet, she looked around unsure. Namjoon was standing in front of big windows, which were spreading from floor to roof. He turned back once he heard the doors and just rolled sleeves from his neat shirt up. Y/N really wanted to tear her eyes from his strong hands, but she felt like enchanted, also they felt very nice on her skin, so gentle but so firm.

"Come and see. View maybe isn't perfecy, but I like it." He stretched out his arm to her.

She almost tip toed to him and accepted warm hand, now fully aware of all the rings on his fingers. They were gold, matching expensive Rolex on the other hand. Outside was still raining but clouds formed into unseen shapes and figures, it was pretty dark, but skyscrapes lights were on. The apartment now dim, only lamp from living room and kitchen.

"I would prefer you to stay until rain'll pass."

"I don't want to be an inconvenience..."

"You can tell, that I enjoy your presence here miss L/N."

She looked away shying from him and again this damn blush crept on her cheeks. Namjoon chuckled once more and put a lost strand of her hair behind an ear.

"Where did we end?"

"I don't know mr. Kim." The whisper came out shaky and more quiet that she's expected.

"I should remind you."

He stepped closer, so close that again his warmness reached her to dive into it. This time only his left hand was on her waist, but right cupped her cheek so, so gently. Namjoon's diamples showed again and Y/N could swear that she was going to melt right there. This kiss was passionate, deep and a little messy, his hand moved to back of her neck. Content hum spread through a room when his assistant squeezed his biceps delicately. Soon again his lips moved to cover her jaw with kisses, Y/N was standing on her toes to reach any of his height. Namjoon smirked and didn't waste any time, his hands sneaked under her thighs and picked her up without any trouble, she squealed suddenly looking down at him, her arms wrapped around his neck. He almost grunted feeling that she's wearing stockings under the skirt. Hot kiss was pressed again to her pulse.

"Perfect." He commented.

"What are you doing?" She whispered looking at them both.

"I need you closer." Namjoon breathed into her skin.

Not long after he started walking with her towards next room, he almost kicked door open and soon Y/N was placed on soft mattres, carefuly, delicately. She pulled off - it was probably his bedroom, the bed was big and so soft, cusions in light grey color. Night stands on both sides of the bed, the lights on wall automatically went on, when they got inside. Namjoon stood up and pushed his hair back looking down below at her just like that. There were a lot of pillows she counted six at least.

"Wanna continue?"

Y/N rose on her elbows and nodded feeling hot everywhere. He smirked putting away glasses.

"I need to hear you pretty thing."

"Yes, I want to continue."

"God, you don't know what are you doing to me, when you are so fucking obedient." He took off his watch and wanted to do the same with golden rings.

"No, no let them stay. They're beautiful."

Namjoon nodded. "Any more wishes?"

Y/N shook her head and then he knelt on a bed touching her knees delicately, to spread her legs and moved between them smoothly, the skirt get in a way, but it rolled up to Y/N's midthights. She whimpered softly, putting head on a pillow. Joon didn't waste any time capturing her lips in deep kiss, but he fast moved down to jaw, neck and his skillful hands opened first button of chemise, each opening was followed by soft, butterfly kiss on her skin. Her fingers found a way into his hair, going through delicately, making him groan. Y/N squirmed when hot kiss landed between her breasts and Namjoon smiled, but continued till he reached skirt and last button.

"Can we take it off?" He asked playing with hem of the shirt and locking their eyes.

"Yes."

Namjoon helped her take it off and smiled admiring her body, much smaller comparing to his well built and large.

"Yet skirt needs to go and I'll be content. For a while." He smirked.

Y/N nodded and pulled down a zipper on a side. Then it was easy to get rid of the skirt. Namjoon sucked breath loudly. She was having matching, black underwear with stockings and stocking belt. His eyes wandered on her skin slowly, intensly and greedyly.

"You don't like it?" She asked with a worry then her gaze running at the side.

"I love it. Now I can't look at your pencil skirt in the same way." He chuckled lowly, causing her also to smile.

"Can I touch you?" Y/N asked in small voice her eyes trailing to his crips shirt, which also happen to have buttons.

"Touch me, bite me, scratch me. Anything you like angel." Namjoon grabbed her hand and put it on his chest.

She also started to opening his shirt, feeling only strong muscles beneath hot skin and felt need to touch it more and more. He smiled into her lips when all the buttons were opened and she slid down the shirt, slowly exploring now naked shoulders and arms. CEO hummed with satisfaction, his thumbs made a cricles on her ribs. Y/n giggled softly.

"It tickles."

"Sorry." He said into her collarbone, the shifted down reaching the panties and belt, placing both of his hands on her hips and pressed long, open mouthed kiss on a stomach, then looked up locking their eyes and rubbed the belt.

"I know how to take if off." He said proudly.

"You do?"

"It happens to be a very useful skill."

Namjoon carefully freed stockings from attachments and took off first one slowly looking only into Y/N's eyes and gave a kiss to her calf, doing the same with second stocking, then he turned material of the belt a little and opened it like a bra, then sent it flying across the room. She laughed covering lips with a hand, but still a shaky breath managed to escape after he pressed a finger between her breats and touched a bra.

"What about this?" He asked with a deep voice, eyes slowly clouding by desire.

Y/N bite her lip, then took it off all by herself. Automatically her arms went to cover nudity, but Namjoon grabbed her elblow gently.

"Don't. Relax." He put her hand at his neck, then leaned in to kiss exposed skin, when his other hand touched a nipple and started to play with it. Y/N moaned softly closing eyes.

Despite being wrapped by a pleasure she asked anxiously. "Aren't they too small?"

"I don't care, they are perfect."

She felt extra blush on her cheeks and smiled involuntarily.

"Actually, I love small, cute things." He smirked hearing her giggle.

He pressed to her, she could feel his hard dick rubbing her clit just perfectly and Namjoon released low groan kissing her passionately.

"I need to be inside you."

His hand slid down reaching her inner thighs and caressed skin gently. Y/N shudder and felt wetness gushing out of her.

"I need you inside me." She said quietly in response.

"Fuck."

Fuck indeed, they both got rid of her panties, she was so wet Namjoon grunted, when she started to undo his belt. He took off the expensive trousers along with boxers, going back between Y/N's thights. She reached for his dick and wrapped her fingers delicately around it. Now he shuddered almost closing eyes.

"No teasing." Namjoon marked hurriedly.

She nodded and he touched her slit, then hummed contently rubbing in lazy circles her clit and Y/N moaned shamelessly.

"Let me know if something isn't right."

She nodded and kissed him tenderly, he responded with soft grip on her waist looking between their bodies.

"You are so tiny..." he grunted and sighed at skin to skin contact. "I'll be gentle."

Comparing to a lot of things, she was indeed tiny. Namjoon leaned in kissing her passionately, when pushing slowly his hips, Y/N mewled sinfuly and clenched around him. He did it slowly to make it easier to accommodate to stretch and she was greatful for that. The room disappeard, there were only them pressed tightly to each other. When his hips were flush against hers Namjoon groaned and pressed hasty kiss on her neck. She tenderly wrapped hands around his shoulders and her eyes rolled into skull, she felt so full and so hot everywhere. It was like heaven. He pressed soft kiss to her collarbone and started to move slowly and she clenched again.

"Shit, how am I supposed to control myself, when you feel so good?" Namjoon asked and hissed, the pleasure was unmatched.

"Then don't. I trust you." A heated whisper fell into his ear.

Low groan escaped his throat and his pace went faster. He rose her thigh and wraped it around his hip now reaching deeper and earning the cutest whine. Namjoon also made sure that his hands aren't leaving her body, cupping Y/N's cheeks during a kiss or making lazy circles on her skin. Soon, her breath was fast and deep and he smirked connecting their foreheads gently.

"You're close angel?"

"Y-yes."

Namjoon just felt so right against her body, giving her all the pleasure she needed, but didn't ask. It was truly a new experience.

"You're so good for me darling."

"Harder p-please." Y/N mewled weakly and Namjoon released a shaky breath.

"Say that again.

"Please."

His thursts fastened and became more raw. The way her's velvet walls hugged his cock, made him twitch. Y/N could feel her skin tingling and limbs went numb when she started cumming. Namjoon sealed her lips in passionate kiss, feeling her small body shuddering strongly under him. The softes whimper left her lips muffled and he stopped, then cupped her cheeks with a sly smile.

"Oh God. It was amazing." Y/N stated with a deep blush.

CEO only chuckled looking straight into her eyes, which were a little misty.

"Do you want to go another round?" He asked shamelessly their noses touching.

"Yes." She giggled and kissed him.

He started to move again with slow, but deep strokes now. After first orgasm, she knew that second will follow soon and a particular brush against her sweet spot made her dig nails into his back, leaving crescent marks. A soft squeal left Y/N's lips when she felt Namjoon biting her shoulder, then licking it. His hips stutter when once again she clenched around him. He was close to high and twitching inside her.

"I'll take a pill." She whispered softly.

After these words his pace quickened and she moaned into his lips. The pressure was building fast in her abdomen and Namjoon was slapping his hips against hers, chasing his release.

"Say my name." He demanded with a grunt.

She looked at him little confliced but goddamnit they were fucking right now, it couldn't become more inappropriate.

"Come on."

"Namjoon." She breathed into his lips, causing him to shudder and take a wild pace.

Y/N came clenching hardly around him, seeing stars and after that he was breathing harshly and spilling himself inside her. Namjoon's head fell on her chest. They both were panting.

"Thank you... for showing me." She whispered after a while, still in a bliss.

He chuckled playfuly and lifted head to look at her. His lips reached her forehead with a tender kiss, he grabbed the duvet and covered them both, then rolled, having her on top of him. Y/N blinked clearly not understaning and fighting a exhaustion. Namjoon kissed her hair.

"Sleep, I'll wake you up."

"But..."

"Hush. It's okay, rest."

Y/N didn't protest more, carefuly putting head on his wide chest, then closing her eyes. She had to be really tired, because soon, the room was filled with quiet, but calm snores. Namjoon was looking at her with eyes shining, his fingers were making shapes on her back gently. He fell asleep with chest filled with a warm feeling to the brim.

Morning came and sunlight hit her face mercilessly. Y/N scruntched her nose and slowly opened eyes, covering them weakly by a hand. Her ears were filled by silence, she felt strong arms on her waist. Namjoon was still sleeping like an angel, so beautiful like that, his skin radiating in morning light. She smiled observing his face and shifting a little, to take off her weight from his body, only put leg over his waist, head still on his chest and hugging him around smooth waist. It was so peaceful, that she wanted to stay there forever. Soon Namjoon's eyes flickered and he woke up. His hand with golden rings brushed hair from her face then tenderly caressed her cheek. Y/N smiled lazy, opening eyes and looked at him with shyness.

"Good morning angel." His morning voice was deep and horse, then he pressed soft kiss to her temple.

"Good morning."

"Did you sleep good?"

"Like a baby." Y/N giggled softly.

"That's good to hear."

They were lying in a bed, comfortable and peaceful. She put her head back on his chest, listening to steady heartbeat, he was lazily drawning shapes on her back. It was Saturday so they could stay like this.

"Are you hungry? If I remember correctly, you didn't eat any supper yesterday."

"Maybe a little and you have right, I didn't."

"I'm not the best cook, but let's do some breakfast."

Y/N nodded and sat on the bed looking for her clothes from an yesteday. She wrapped duvet around her and didn't see that Namjoon actually couldn't tear his eyesi from her.

"Wait." He stood up then put on his briefs and walked to wardrobe. He picked fresh, but casual shirt and turned back to her. Y/N blushed heavily at his idea, but nodded and accepted it. She put it on, it was so big that it reached around her knees.

"Thank you." She smiled softly.

He grabbed her hand, so small and lead her to the kitchen. He made her tea, when she picked up ingredients for a vegetable salad.

"Would you like some toast?" He asked unsure scratching his nape.

"Yes, do you have any jams?"

"Of course, unfortunately I know someone who hasn't." He responded with a smirk.

She looked at him questioningly, but he brushed it off. Once they sat down and started to eat, silence filled the apartment. Namjoon was looking only at her, causing her cheeks to go reddish once more.

"Can we see each other tomorrow?" He asked looking at her carefuly.

"I- I have things to do..."

"It's okay, I know this was... unexpected." Namjoon smirked and she giggled.

"Unexpected, but very nice." She said with shyness in her voice.

"Great to hear that."

They ended up talking casualy about small things, but after a breakfast she went to picked up her things. Namjoon insisted her to take a shower and meanwhile he changed clothes into something more appropriate, but not so elegant as yesterday. There was casual shirt followed by jeans. He was tempted a little to enter a bathroom, but somehow resisted this idea. Feeling Y/N smell like his shampoo made his stomach squeeze. He exhaled loudly and smiled widely.

"I'll drive you."

"There's no need I..."

"That's not under negotiation." Namjoon stated grabbing his keys.

Again he grabbed her hand and they went out of the apartment. His car was in underground parking, they talked a little, she was asking about living in such area. Y/N gulped seeing very luxorious Mercedes, but he only chuckled.

"It won't bite you."

He opened a door for her as gentleman, then sat on a driver's seat. Engine roared coming back to live. Whole drive his hand was lying on Y/N's tight and comfortable silence was filling the space inside. He parked under her apartment and looked at her with a smile. She smiled back unsure.

"So we'll see each other in Monday?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"Perfect."

He cupped her cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Y/N melted into it and it was very hard to break off. Namjoon smiled on her lips, then parted away.

"Have a nice weekend and be careful."

"You too Namjoon." She said as goodbye, then left the car.

He inhaled deeply and wide grin appeared on his face. He made sure that she reached the flat, then drove off.

}*{

The weekend was passing very slowly in Namjoon's perspective. He had to hold himself to not call Y/N during Saturday, but he allowed himself on Sunday. She picked up and they had a brief talk, she was in hurry. He couldn't focus on and get her out of his mind. Her lingering scent in a bedroom didn't help either. The same day he had meeting with the boys but refused to elaborate why he had such a good humor, even if Jungkook was annoying as hell. Also the images of him hiving her on his office desk were haunting his mind. Finally the Monday has come and he was in office point 8 a.m, but his P.A was nowhere to see. Namjoon put on his best suit to look amazing. His hand was decorated by rings she liked that much. He shifted on his armchair and frowned. Inside got his manager with a thick layer of papers.

"Sir it's good to see you this early. We can look up at candidates."

"Candidates?" He repeated unsure.

"Oh yes, as far as I know miss Y/N L/N has filled a resignation letter due to personal reasons. She said she has informed you before."

Namjoon has opened his mouth then closed it, processing what he just heard. His jaw clenched along with fists and for a while he was seeing only red. He excused himself and stormed out of the office, almost whole drive cursing the whole existance, he parked under her flat and went inside jumping over two stairs at once. He had the addres remembered since first day, when he reached right door, didn't hasitate to press a bell button. Softly 'coming' could be heard behind and the doors opened slowly revealing Y/N in home clothes - shorts and small shirt exposing stomach. Her shoulders dropped and fingers started to fidget anxiously.

"May I come in?" He asked with serious voice.

"Y-yes." She stuttered.

Y/N moved to let him in, then closed doors. Apartment was small but so cozy, he could spot bathroom doors, kitchen in front of exit, small bedroom and salon. He turned around, almost trapping her between him and doors. She leaned on looking at floor.

"Explain." Namjoon demanded sounding almost desperately.

"It's my fault." Y/N confessed honestly. "I enjoyed our... meeting, but I cannot force myself to work with you. It's unfair and wrong."

"I can be discreet! And it doesn't explain why you left without a word." Namjoon frowned deeply.

"I... you... I know my place in line. The office is filled with rumors, I'm none to judge but... if I was just another woman to have a nice night with, that was a right thing to do, because it meant something to me." She whimpered helplessly.

"I would ask you out first day, when your shy smile charmed me, but I knew that would scare you off." He said slowly.

Her breath hitched inside and eyes opened widely, but she shook her head violently.

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

She lifted her eyesight at him. Jaw clenched and gaze focused only on her. He looked sincere even determinated. Y/N couldn't even say anything, because he cupped her cheeks, pinned to a wall and connected their lips, putting in that kiss all his emotions. When they stopped, their foreheads were still touching.

"I need you at work and I need you in my private life, I don't care what people will say, you are coming back." Namjoon marked leaving no place to argue.

"But-"

"No buts." He cut her off. "I can be fair towards my employees and just because we're going to date, that don't mean I'm going to favor you. Even without that you are doing a great job."

Y/N smiled a little. "You really think that?"

"Yes."

She nodded and hugged him putting her head on his wide chest. He kissed her hair tenderly and wrapped arms securely around her waist. Maybe his brother were right and one move changed everything? Anyway it was worth waiting those three years. Now Y/N was safe and sound in his arms forever.

#bts namjoon #bts ff #bts smut #bts x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #soft yandere #ceo!namjoon

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ebonysplendor · 4 months ago

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There's Something Wrong With Sunny Day Jack (Demo) Review🌤️

TL;DR: Sunny days, keeping the clouds awaaaaaay~! ... Okay, but like what if our cloud is the "sunny day", and it won't go away? Do we even want it to at this point...?

Game Link: https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sunny-day-jack

Game Link (classic): https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sdj-classic

Notable Features: Gender Neutral language, Self-Insert, Yandere LI, Voice Acting, Create a cup of froyo ... yo Spiciness: 5.5/5 -- Let me tell you! It's a whole scene going down in this thing, okay?! FULLY delivered. The literal only thing that would've made this any spicier is if you saw it. You kinda do, but it's just out of frame. LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Manipulation, possessive, lowkey obsessive, implied violence and possession, but like, I'm pretty sure I can fix him, so whatever, ya know?

Wanna know more? Lmao naaah. Not if you aren't at least 18, and I mean that. There is a WHOLE spicy scene in here. This one's for the adulty adults. Anyways, if you don't care about my yapping and/or you're in the 18+ club, let's get into it!

Okay, okay, okay, I know, yeah, I know, but listen...I'm only getting around to making the review now.

Okay, okay, okay, wait, stop, listen. I know that this game is damn near two years old, but I didn't start getting into reading visual novels until last year, and I didn't start taking the plunge to make reviews until this year so... :P

ANYWAYS! I do have news that you may not know yet! When I was looking for exactly how old this game is, I stumbled upon a little news~

As of me typing this (which was on the 28 August at about 9:30pm, but who knows when I'll actually post this review lmao), the game was updated an hour ago. I'm talking this shit is fresh out of the box! So, naturally, I went scouring for a download button...but then it occurred to me that that message said that it was for the $12+ tier of their patreon supporters. Not gonna lie, the spicy scene in that damn game has got a girl tempted, okay? But the way my bills are set up...

Okay, anyways, getting back on track because I've started yappin'. I'm going to go ahead and jump into this thing because, let me tell you, if you're like me, and you're late to this game, you've gotta hear about it! Granted, the download to the version that I'm talking about isn't available anymore (at least for the public/non $12 patrons), but the classic version is! I don't know how different it is though ^^;

Admittedly, because this game is almost two years old and because there's not a download link available currently, I might spoil it just a little so that you're not left too much in the dark about the game, especially since, again, the download link isn't available. That being said, it may still be spoiler friendly because habit lol.

But you get it by this point. Let's stop talking and start summarizing. Let's get into it!

So boom.

Basically, we're being...haunted?, we guess?...by this very attractive, but frankly super cheesy, children's TV show host. How'd it happened? We aren't really sure. We just remembered that we got some weird tape and was like "Huh...okay", watched it, and boom, here he is. Speaking of "he" and "here he is", here he is!

Everyone, this is the bae, Sunny Day Jack, but he doesn't mind being called just "Jack", so refer to him as such.

Jack has kind've been rocking with us for a few months at this point, and admittedly, it was very poor but really great timing. The reason why that is the case is because we had experienced something pretty tragic, and we were having a really hard time getting over it, but honestly? Jack's child-like explanation of working through problems and explaining emotions actually came in clutch, because we were lowkey able to get this far because of him. That being said...our relationship with him is getting a little blurred -- more than a little.

Ya see, things kind've...escalated between us, and we honestly aren't sure if we're glad that we got called into work or if we're pissed about it. Like, the undertones have been there for a while, but it was only today that those undertones became more pronounced and obvious. I mean, the man had his tongue-- ANYWAYS!

So, we go into work where our asshole manager ditches us because apparently the things that he has to do is way more important than us having a day off from babysitting and picking up the slack of our lazy ass co-workers. The only upside to this is that the day is likely to be slow because of the rain and that we're alone, meaning that we can openly talk to Jack.

Oh, now that I think about it, I forgot something super crucial -- we can see and hear Jack. More specifically, we can touch him, feel him, smell him, fuck him, the works, but, for whatever reason, others can't do the same. I guess it's like...medium privileges or being a ghost's host perks or something? Anyways, I'm getting off track. Gonna stop it there before I start spouting some stupid shit.

We kind've flashback to what happened right before our boss called, and whoo boi, does that steamy feeling come back full force. It's weird, because it's like Jack can read our mind about how we felt so comfortable and so safe and so protected and, frankly, so curious about him and what all went down in that moment. Jack basically reassures us that the feelings that we have are okay, and what would be best described as "love". Oh...oh, haha, uh...

"Nah, dawg, it's not love."

"Well...do you love me?"

AYO? I beg your finest pardon, sir!? Like, he's just gonna come out the woodwork with that shit?!

Regardless, he's still reassuring us that, "It's okay if you see me as bae" and we're just "We're roommates, dude, and seeing someone as bae is way more complicated than you're making it sound!" He pretty much just laughs it off and is like "Well, either way, I'll be here. Always. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I'll be anything and everything that you need". Oof, that is...a bold ass claim, and one that we're not so entirely sure we should trust...but damn does it feel good to hear those words and have some support...anyways.

Our work day continues, we run into this awkwardly cute guy (I'll explain more later), our whore of an ex-boyfriend called and ruined our fucking mood, Jack lays down some more heavy words of reassurance, and the day goes onto the next.

Unfortunately, we land ourselves back at work, but fortunately without the "un-", we are alone and can freely talk to Jack again. Like mentioned, the guy is a ghost, but he's so very real, just not to others, which can be super disorienting sometimes; this is one of those sometimes. Jack wanted us to make him a yogurt and...oof, his reaction was...

...less than thrilled. Disgusted, even. Horrified.

Now, this doesn't sound like a huge detail or issue, but he actually got a bit scary here because, what is this shit that he's spouting about us "not being that type of person anymore" and "being better than that, now"? Like, when I say that this man -- clown? ghost? -- had a full shift in personality, and it was just...fear in his eyes, desperation in his voice? Like, he looked and sounded absolutely haunted and terrified of something. Like, this was beyond the horror in a cup that we apparently made him experience; it only triggered it.

Thankfully, although awkward, he easily moves past this saying that the combination of flavors just threw him off, and a customer walks in to provide a diversion for an extra layer of safety.

Oh! It's that awkward but polite cutie from the other day!

When we see him, or rather when we hear the door, we say our awkward ass, lame ass greeting, and it's kind've an opener for him to start some super brief small talk. He eventually takes the plunge and shoots his shot. Now, personally, I think the guy is damned adorbs, but at the same time, it's just...it's too soon. That mixed with this whole thing we've got going on with Jack...

We're pretty conflicted on how to answer, un-- Wait, huh? What did...?

Did-- Wait, Jack wants us to tell him that we have a boyfriend? And what does he mean that "it doesn't even have to be a lie"? ... He said the thing again, too. That thing about being whatever he wants us to be.

This is so anxiety inducing, too, because it's like, first off, we weren't expecting to hear him talking to us, and second, we can't acknowledge him in any shape, way, or form. Jack is quite literally looming right behind us, whispering in our ear, and we cannot so much as look his way without the guy in front of us thinking that we've completely lost our shit. Even still, our feelings for Jack have been complicated lately. Should we even take that plunge? Something about doing that doesn't seem right, though...

...We tell the guy that we don't have a boyfriend. Before he gets his hopes up too much, though, we tell him that we aren't really looking for anything right now, either. The guy leaves. The store is quiet, and we're left with alone with Jack with that awkwardness from earlier back in the air at full force; he's the first one to speak.

He apologizes and starts asking if he's pushed anything onto us that we didn't want. Before we can really answer though, he apologizes again. He explains that he thought that he was speaking in terms of what we wanted, but he keeps going back and forth like he's trying to find the right words but also figure out where he misunderstood; better yet, and more accurately, he's trying to figure out why he misunderstood in the first place. The poor guy is honestly so pitiful at this point, and we try to stop him from rambling and reach out for him... but our hand falls right through him.

Obviously, we start panicking, and Jack explains to us that he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want him to do nor feel comfortable with, and if it's him that we don't feel comfortable with and it's him that we don't want...this is what happens.

Okay, now, we're past the point of panicking; we're on the verge of tears because had we known us saying "No, I don't have a boyfriend" meant that Jack would start questioning if we actually wanted him around and fading away, we would've never said it. True to his optimistic nature, Jack reassures us that he's not "fading away" or "disappearing", and we're just like "Dude, piss off with that. Now, is not the time" because it's like, bro, this isn't a joke or us not wanting to get up for work; this is serious.

Jack chills with the reassurance and explains that he understands that we're serious, but that this isn't an issue that he can fix himself. Jack basically said that our words -- better yet our acceptance or denial of him -- are very weighted and that the only way to fix what's going on right then and there is to reaffirm that we accept him being there and truly meaning it, and that's only because he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want or need from him.

Even still, do we really trust him fully enough to do this? He's not the kind of guy to hurt us, is he? I mean, it's Sunny Day Jack. Then again, we also thought the same about---

"Hey."

"Yeah, Jack?"

"I know it's scary, I honestly do, but you can trust me. All I want is to be with you, protect you, and make you happy; that's what I'm here for."

All of that sounds so nice, too nice, but...

Can we trust him so easily...?

We really shouldn't...

But that horrible, heartbreaking moment...

That pain that Jack somehow made bearable, took away even...

That companionship he gave us in the place of loneliness...

His comfort...

His gaze...

What's wrong with feeling good? Why doubt him, and why feel like this unique and irreplicable connection is a bad thing? It's like Jack said: these feelings are okay; it's normal. There's nothing wrong with this.

...Right?

Y'all. You all. Guys. Gays. Theys. People. Friends. MY friends. SQUAD. (all right, enough...)

Hot and bothered, bothered and hot. Like, please allow me like 3 - 5 sentences of degeneracy. Between Jack and Ren (iykyk) ... Ren still laid down the pipe better but Jack?? Jack was a damned close second. Like, did you see the way that man was looking in our eyes and holding us? Then he's so big and masculine looking and ahhhhh~! That is BAE right there!

Anyways, getting back on track, when I had to go back and get those screenshots, what should've taken me like 5 - 10 minutes took me like 30+ minutes because I had to relive these moments. I had to relive this story! Like I mentioned earlier, the game is damn near two years old, but it reads like new, you feel me? The story, the implications, the art style, the scenes, the drama -- ahhh! I LIVE. I ASCEND. Like, when these developers hit the mark, they hit the damned mark with such precision!

I'm pretty sure that it's been mentioned at this point, but do you know what I loved the most about this visual novel (degeneracy aside, of course lol)? The subtle but oddly specific ass details that you're sure to miss or gloss over if you're not paying attention. I'm talking those details that you probably wouldn't catch until you've already read it once, seen how things have panned out, and then read through it again. Like, how it described us feeling cold whenever we thought about Jack leaving or fading away from us, or how the air would feel like syrup or cotton candy whenever he spoke to us, or how we'd get all warm in the most literal sense whenever Jack was near, or feel full, or completed, or -- the list honestly goes on. Like, there's a lot of allusion to being slowly corrupted/possessed by Jack, because this guy is a ghost, remember? Yeah, I had lowkey forgot, too.

Those specifically subtle details really made the story come together, and once I caught onto what was going on, I was just like, bro, the signs were there! I'd have to say that my absolute favorite "subtle" sign was when Jack always seemed to know exactly what we were thinking, almost like he was able to read our thoughts, but as soon as we started to "reject" him, all of a sudden he wasn't exactly sure what we thought. He went from responding to our thoughts to questioning what we may have been thinking about. Like, what? Go the eff off SnaccPop!

I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this frickin visual novel. I could ramble and geek way more but I'm gonna start wrapping it up before I start yappin' too, too much. Just allow me a few more sentences, a paragraph or two, please.

I. Cannot. Wait! For the full and official release! I am so excited to see how the team is going to mold this story and how things are going to pan out. I'm excited to see how and if we're able to get away from Jack because, at this point, he has a damned strong hold on us, but I'm speculating that our horror movie fanatic and director friend is going to come in clutch for this one.

If it was not obvious (and honestly, if you were somehow later to this game than I was) 100/10 would recommend, and I am recommending. It is so good, and I really hope that I'm not over hyping it, because the foundation that has been built for this story is so damned solid. Like I mentioned way earlier, unfortunately, you can't play the (free) updated demo anymore, but you can still play the classic one; I just don't know how different it is compared to the new version. Either way, I'll give you the link to both just in case (Update | OG). If you're able, definitely give them that monetary support and play the updated version. Hell, tell ME how it is because...I really don't want to put off my bills but, at this point, Jack has me in a fucking chokehold all over again. What's an extra, unplanned $12 at this point? Also, if able, visit the game's page and give SnaccPop that ever so encouraging but thirsty "NEED. MOAR. I mean, you take your time because perfection can't be rushed, and I know you all are people with a life and other responsibilities and such, BUT I NEED. MOAR. IT'S SO GOOD. STAND AND DELIEVER. ...please UwU I beg OTL"

Meh, that was highkey three paragraphs, but I'm not gonna split it so it can still be the two paragraphs that I requested. Lol sorry for pushing it there, but I'm done now! Promise. No more yappin'. The yap has been concluded, and I'm gonna go ahead and head out.

Big preesh for getting this far, and please, remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Updated; download not available to public)

Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Classic; download available)

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toboldlygohome · 9 months ago

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Hold Me Closer

Mark Watney X Reader

Chapter 1

Summary: You were looking forward to your month on Mars, but what happens when a month-long mission becomes indefinite? Will you and Mark make it back home, or were you doomed from the start?

Character(s): Mark Watney, Chris Beck, Melissa Lewis, Beth Johanssen, Alex Vogel, Rick Martinez

Warning(s): Cursing, Injuries

You stared out the window as you ate, watching the endless expanse of darkness spin around the ship. A week from now, you would be on Mars, conducting geological surveys and testing core samples. You were a chemist first and foremost, but you were also sort of a jack of all trades aboard the Hermes. You could fix things, run telemetry, conduct space walks, keep the plants alive, identify minerals, and of course you had a fair bit of medical training. It was because of your proficiency for all things scientific that you landed yourself a spot in Ares 3.

The excitement practically radiated off of you. You were so stoked, you couldn't even eat the food in front of you. So much to see, so many samples to run! You hoped there would be signs of past water in Acidalia Planitia!

"You know Y/L/N, the food is supposed to go into your mouth." Beck strolled in with his water bottle in hand. Evidently he was here for a refill.

"Thanks for the tip, doctor. I'll keep that in mind." You said before shoveling a spoonful of rehydrated ravioli into your maw.

"You looked lost in thought there, wanna share with the class?" He asked as the water reclaimer slowly filled his bottle.

"Just thinking about Mars," you shrugged.

"Ah, for a second there I thought you were thinking about your botanist," Chris smirked.

You stared daggers into his back. "My botanist?"

Beck grinned at you over his shoulder. "Well who else would you be thinking about? You've got such a wistful look in your eyes, I thought for sure your mind was on him."

"You really need to stop with the teasing Beck. It's a small ship, it'll get back to him eventually," you grumbled.

"Look, I just call it like I see it."

"Well, you're seeing wrong."

"You've been more and more distracted lately, there's no way it's only because of Mars," Beck chuckled. Dammit. You hated when he was right. You did like Mark, but let's be honest here. Who wouldn't like Mark? He was funny, smart, and he looked way too good in his grey flight suit. Completely unfair.

"God, you can be so annoying," you laughed.

"Only because I'm right."

"Mark and I are just friends, that's all we're ever going to be. Even if we didn't work together, and for the government no less, there's no way he'd ever go for the likes of me."

"What makes you say that?" Beck tilted his head curiously.

"Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Dude, he's like the second most attractive person on this ship!"

"Second?!"

"Objectively speaking, Johanssen is the first. Her posters sold out like hot cakes!"

"I know Johanssen is first! I meant, how is he second? What about me?"

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Who's the one who got the super sexy Under Armor ad again?"

"... Y/N? How many times have you watched that ad?" Beck laughed.

"Shut up."

"It must have been a lot for it to be this fresh in your mind."

"Don't you have a computer nerd to go flirt with?"

"Don't you have a botanist to ogle?"

You groaned and pushed your food away, but Beck scooted it right back. "Fine, fine. No more teasing for today," he laughed. "Just make sure you finish your food, it's important that you eat well."

"What if I'm not hungry?" you asked.

"Eat anyway, doctor's orders," Beck sassed as he left the dining area with his water.

You snickered and poked at your ravioli. If only you could just follow your heart like Beck. He was set on Beth and nobody was going to keep him from her. You just hoped he'd wait until after the mission to make it official for the sake of his career.

Of course you wanted to date Mark. Beck wasn't wrong on that front, but relationships are strictly prohibited among crew-mates. Maybe if you didn't work together, you might have worked up the courage. Probably not, but it would have at least been an option.

You slowly ate the rest of your cold meal and tried to think about anything else. Anything but the plant-loving engineer who had a choke-hold on your heart.

~~~

Mark groaned and climbed out of his bunk. It had to be at least two in the morning... at least according to the Kennedy Space Center. Jeez, he was starving. Luckily their food reserves came with snacks for just such an occasion! He exited his quarters and looked toward the room beside his. The door was open, which was quite a surprise. You were normally asleep by now, and Martinez was keeping an eye on the telemetry tonight. What were you doing awake?

Watney made his way to the dining area and took a look at all of his options. Hmmmm... trail mix it is. He grabbed a bag and took the ladder to the zero g portion of the ship. Everything was quiet except for the hum of the ship and Rick clicking his pen in the cockpit. He decided not to bother the pilot and instead went in search of his favorite crew-mate.

He found you floating in the cupola with your earbuds in. You watched as Mars inched ever closer, calling you to its surface. Mark couldn't resist the urge. He grinned mischievously and grabbed your ankle, causing you to yelp in surprise.

Mark laughed as you smacked him on the shoulder half-heartedly, "Mark! you scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry, sorry!" he floated up and settled beside you. "I saw an opportunity and I had to take it."

"Jerk," you laughed and returned your focus to the lonely red planet.

"What are you doing up?" Mark asked.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I was hungry," he caught a floating peanut in his mouth and looked at you as he ate. "And you?"

"I couldn't sleep. I'm too excited," you admitted with a smile. "Ever since I was little, I wanted to go to Mars... I can't believe it's actually happening."

Mark smiled gently and watched as your eyes sparkled with adventure. That was one of the things he loved most about you. He loved seeing you light up when you learn something new or complete something for the first time. And for the few instances you failed, he loved watching you gear up to try it again. Nothing could shake you when you had your mind set on something. (He wished you had your mind set on him...)

This was a lifelong dream of yours, something you'd thought about, planned for, and fought tooth and nail to achieve. Now here you were, watching all of the pieces fall into place. Mark felt so lucky he got to be on this mission with you, that he'd get to see every moment of excitement, every vivid dream become a reality.

"What are you listening to?" he grabbed your earbud and stuck it in his ear. He grinned.

Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway. Lay me down in sheets of linen, you had a busy day today.

You scooted closer to Mark so he could listen with you, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder to keep you steady. Oh what Watney would give to stay with you like this. Floating softly, slowly, taking in the view. He offered you his bag of trail mix with a cheeky smile. You laughed lightly and grabbed a bite. Fuck. He loved your laugh. He would listen to it on repeat if he could.

"Hold me closer tiny dancer," He mumbled along with the song as the chorus kicked back up.

"Count the headlights on the highway," you whispered back.

~~~

Finally.

Mars was so close, you could almost touch it! And here in a few hours, you would be~

You suited up for your ride in the MDV and helped Martinez and Johanssen with the pre-flight checks. Mark and Beck were loading the descent vehicle with everyone's personal items and Vogel was making sure all of the Hermes experiments were on autopilot. Commander Lewis oversaw the whole operation and kept in contact with Mission Control about the progress being made.

Once all the checks had been made and all the cargo had been loaded, everyone piled into the MDV and prepared for descent.

You took a deep breath as you checked the on-board navigation. You were really going to make it! You were going to walk on Mars! You checked, double checked, even triple checked your numbers before giving Lewis a thumbs up.

"We are go for separation," she told Martinez.

"At your command," Martinez said, poised to initiate the separation.

"Launch," Lewis said.

Your heart rate increased as the MDV shuttered out of the docking port. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my GOD!

"Approaching ten meters from Hermes," Johanssen said.

"Engine power readings are nominal. Ship internal pressure is stable." You said, unable to keep the excited quiver from your voice. The cabin was quiet for a few minutes. The tension could be cut with a knife. It wasn't a bad kind of tension. It was exciting, like teetering at the top of the world's tallest roller coaster.

"Approaching two kilometers from Hermes. Go for engine start up," Beth said.

"Martinez, go for engine burn," Lewis said.

You squeezed the arms of your seat and closed your eyes. This was the hardest part for you. You'd worked in the International Space Station before and reentry was your downfall. What was worse about entering Mars was that there was no water to break your fall if you crashed.

You felt a gentle pressure on your hand and looked up to find Mark already watching you with a smile on his face. He squeezed your hand as the MDV inched closer and closer to Mars.

"Hanging in there?" he chuckled.

"By a thread," you joked.

"You got this, tiny dancer," Mark winked.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. You both listened as Lewis and Martinez went back and forth calling out each action they performed. Mars completely filled the window.

You held onto Mark a little tighter.

~~~

The actual mission started off promising enough. The landing was good, setting up the Hab was a breeze, and life support was running at maximum efficiency. Unfortunately, life seemed to have this obsession with throwing you curve balls.

You scowled as you watched the screen while the storm outside raged on like an angry god.

"Jesus, we're gonna end up in Oz," Watney said. "What's the abort speed?"

"Technically one fifty kph. Any more than that and the MAV's in danger of tipping." Martinez said.

"Any predictions on the storm track?" Lewis asked.

"This is the edge of it. It's gonna get worse before it gets better," Johanssen replied.

"All right, prep for abort. We'll go to the MAV and hope for the best. If the wind gets too high, we'll launch."

If only that were the end of your misfortune. You literally had the audacity to think: 'How could this get any worse?' You got your answer when Mark was struck by a piece of flying debris. His vitals were offline, his suit depressurized on impact. He was likely dead, but still you were searching for him. The only trouble with that was you couldn't see two feet in front of you. The dust was thick and the wind was threatening your stability.

"WATNEY!" You called out, hoping the urgency in your voice would stir your friend from his incapacitation. "Watney, please respond."

"Y/L/N, I need you to get back to the MAV," Lewis ordered.

"But he could still be-"

"This isn't up for discussion. MAV. Now."

"I'm not leaving him behind. I know if it were any of us, he wouldn't give up. Not when there's still hope we could be alive."

"He's dead Y/L/N. W-we need to go, please," Beck pleaded.

You closed your eyes and forced down a cry. You didn't want it to be true, but Beck was right. Of course he was right. You were in denial... Still, you couldn't do it. If he was dead, you needed to see it for yourself. What if the numbers were wrong? What if-

You were struck with a sudden, blinding pain.

"Y/N!!" Lewis cried.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went dark.

~~~

Mark awoke with a gasp to the sound of beeping in his helmet.

"Oxygen level critical." A robotic voice said, causing him to pant heavily. His abdomen really fucking hurt. It took all his willpower to sit up. When he looked down, he found the source of his pain. The antenna for the com dish had turned him into a human shish kabob! He let out a cry as he tried to keep the antenna steady. Every movement sent a shock through his tired body.

Watney paused when he heard static in his helmet.

"Wa---y... W---ey c--- -n. Watney, If yo--- the-- please respond!"

"Y-Y/N?" Mark winced.

"Watney! Oh my god!" You sounded on the verge of tears. "I thought you were dead! I've been trying to call you for hours!" You sniffed and leveled your voice as much as you could. He could tell you were still coming down from your emotions. "What's your status?"

He groaned and pressed his head against the sand bank. "I've been impaled. Small puncture. Feel like shit," he said through heavy panting.

"Can you make it back to the Hab?" You asked.

"Yeah, I'll make it. I don't think it's deep enough to kill me." He stood up and immediately screamed.

"Mark! Are you okay? What happened?!"

"Antenna is still attached to the dish," he said through gritted teeth. He made quick work of the wire and struggled to his feet. "W-where are you? What's your status?"

"I'm trapped under the MDV. It plowed through me when I was looking for you. I'm not sure you can get me out in your condition."

Mark looked around and found the partially-mangled MDV a short distance away. Watney clutched his side and hobbled over, fearing the worst. He choked when he saw you. You were being crushed from the waist down by a fucking space ship. "O-oh my-"

"It's not as bad as it looks. I landed in some really soft sand. I managed to dig myself out from underneath, but I hit something solid and now I'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. The sand shifted under the MDV and now my chest hurts, but I can still feel my legs," you sighed and closed your eyes. "You need to get back to the Hab, Mark-"

"I'm not going to leave you." He grunted as he stepped closer. "If I lift this thing, can you pull yourself out?"

"Mark that's-"

"Can you?"

You grimaced and nodded, "Yes."

Mark nodded back and racked his adrenaline fueled brain for an idea of how to get you out. Still panting, he grabbed a metal bar from the ground and shoved it under the MDV. "On three," he said.

"One."

"Two."

Three."

He shoved the bar down and the ship eased up just enough for you to drag yourself out. You screamed as a searing, blinding pain ripped through your ribs. Mark felt his stomach drop at the sound.

He reached for you, but you pushed yourself into an unsteady standing position. "Fuck," you bit out and stumbled forward. "M-Mark" You inspected his wound. "Come on, we have to get this treated right now." You wrapped a supportive arm around his back and helped him shuffle back to the Hab.

His panting and gasps had only grown more pained as he stepped into the empty habitation. What little adrenaline he had left was wearing off. You rushed out of your suit as quickly as possible and helped Mark undress.

"Do you want to pull it out, or do you want me to do it?" you asked with as much calm as you could muster.

"I'll do it," he bit out. After a series of short, shallow breaths, he ripped the antenna out with a gut wrenching scream. You didn't have time to feel distraught as you shoved down his suit. He placed his hand on the wound. "There's something in it," he managed.

"Sit down," you ushered him to a chair and slid on some gloves. You made quick work in cutting away his shirt, administered a series of injections for pain and infection, and grabbed the retractor and forceps. "I'm sorry Mark, there isn't time to wait for the medicine," You didn't hesitate to insert the retractor and open the wound. He tossed his head back and blew out a long, shaky sigh. You bit the inside of your cheek and grabbed the object with the forceps. Carefully, you pulled it out and sat it in a dish. Mark groaned deeply. He was so pale and sweaty. You wanted to reach out and hold him, but you had a job to finish.

With the hard part done, you were able to relax and clean him up. The stitches were the final step. By then, the medicine was kicking in and Mark's strangled cries slowly turned into steady breathing. You leaned back in your chair and relished in the sound before standing up. You felt around your ribs for a moment and huffed before grabbing Mark some juice.

"Thank you..." He said, taking the bottle with shaking hands.

"You're welcome," you sighed and carded your fingers through his damp hair.

"Are you okay?" He rasped.

"I'm fine, just a couple broken ribs on the right side. I'll live." You gave him a tight smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just ran a marathon," he chuckled, then winced.

"We should get you to bed-"

"Not yet," He shifted awkwardly in his seat. "There's an elephant in the room..."

"Ah," you sighed and sat down across from him, pushing away the pain in your ribs.

"What are we gonna do?" Mark murmured.

"Our odds aren't the best, but we'll make it work," you reassured him though you weren't sure it was the truth.

He closed his eyes and blew out a sigh. "You should be safe on the Hermes..." He swallowed. There were many stupid nights he wished you and him were the only two people in the world. Now he was beginning to realize how selfish that was. You were trapped on Mars because of him. If he hadn't have stopped to suggest the stupid rover plan, none of this would have happened.

"You should be too," you pressed a hand to his knee, sending a trail of goosebumps up his leg. Even now, you had him entranced with a single touch. "We should both be on our way home right now, instead we're here. But we're trained for this... We'll make it back, we're just gonna be fashionably late is all," you gave his knee a squeeze and pulled back.

"Can I see it?" he asked.

"See what?"

"Your ribs."

You opened your mouth to disagree, but decided a second pair of eyes on it might be for the best. You slowly lifted your shirt. Mark paled again as his eyes fell on your ruined abdomen. The whole thing was covered in splotches of purple and blue. Your back wasn't much better and he was sure your chest had received similar treatment.

His fingers ghosted over the bruises. "Shit," he whispered.

"It'll buff out," you lowered the hem of your shirt.

Watney closed his eyes and wished that this was all a nightmare, but upon opening them again, all he saw was you. You looked exhausted. No, exhausted was an understatement. There wasn't a word in the English dictionary that could describe your expression. You were devastated and trying to hide it. And why wouldn't you be? You had an endless supply of family and friends expecting you home. He only really had his parents to worry about. You had your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, all your university and work friends... It should have been him and only him. You didn't deserve to be trapped here, least of all with the lowest ranking crew-mate on Ares 3.

"So, we're in a Hab designed to last 31 days..." You thought out loud. He could tell by that look on your face that you were puzzling through something.

"If the oxygenator breaks down, we're gonna suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks, we die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, we'll explode. And if none of that happens, we starve to death." Watney said, giving in to the hopelessness of it all.

"If the oxygenator breaks, we have the spare. It's built to last 5 days for seven people. With only two of us, that will be... 30 days. More than enough time to fix the oxygenator." You thought out loud.

Ah, now he saw what you were up to. "If the water reclaimer breaks, we build a piss distillery while we fix it..." Mark corrected his earlier statement.

"We'll do bi-weekly checks on the Hab canvas to look for tears." You leaned back. "But you're right. Food is our biggest problem. We're gonna be a couple of hungry, hungry astronauts in a few months."

Mark laughed and shook his head. "Looks like we're gonna have to science the shit out of this..." He looked at you and was pleased to find you smiling back at him. "But that sounds like tomorrow-Watney's problem."

"For sure," you snickered. "There is no way I'm doing all that math tonight."

His heart fluttered as he watched the grin spread over your lips. Your enticingly soft looking lips... What is wrong with you Watney? Stop thinking about that! JEEZ... Creep... Anyway, just a moment ago, Mark was ready to give up. Now he had a little more hope that everything would turn out fine. Today fucking sucked, but tomorrow was a new day. Things are only hopeless when you give in to fear, and it was clear you had no intention of giving in.

"Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"You should run for President when we make it back."

"What?" You laughed and clutched at the spot above your broken ribs.

"I'm just sayin' I'd vote for you," he shrugged in a playful manner.

You sighed, "what am I gonna do with you, Watney?"

"Make me your Vice President?"

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'll settle for Secretary of Agriculture."

"How about the Secretary of Homeland Security?" You smirked.

"But that's the bottom of the line of succession," Mark grunted as he sat up.

"Exactly," you laughed before groaning and cradling your side again.

"Alright, that's enough for today," he pushed himself into a standing position. "No more laughing for... how long does it usually take for broken ribs to heal?"

"Like, six weeks."

"I knew that," he smiled and helped you stand up. "No more laughing for six weeks."

"What you're asking for is impossible," you winced. "You always make me laugh. It's why you're my best friend."

"I'm your best friend?" Mark asked, unable to hide his surprise at the admission. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around your back, worried about making the pain worse in his attempt to help you.

You huffed and leaned into him, "don't let it go to your head, Watney."

"Too late," Mark smiled and led you slowly to your bunk. It wasn't easy for either of you to maneuver with your injuries, but eventually you managed to get settled.

"Comfy?" Watney asked.

"That's a relative term," your eyes softened at him, causing the botanist to go all weak in the knees. What a mess he had gotten himself into... "Are you sure you don't need help getting into bed?"

"You took good care of me Y/L/N, It doesn't hurt so much anymore thanks to you... Maybe if the President thing doesn't work out, you could be a doctor," He leaned his bare shoulder against the ladder.

Your eyes trailed down his chest to the bandages keeping the stitches from view. Your eyes started to burn, but you pushed it down and looked up to the bunk above you. "And take Beck's job? As if~"

Mark could almost believe things were normal. That they weren't all alone in a desolate wasteland. You were an anchor. He wasn't sure what he'd do if you weren't here. Would he have the strength to try? This would have broken most normal people... was he one of them? Or was he like you? Brave, selfless, and full of resolve to keep going. His chest hurt. You had gone looking for him... and now you were here. It was his turn to be your anchor.

You felt his eyes on you, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet them. You felt pathetic. Once again, Watney had to pick you up when you were down. For as long as you'd known him, Mark had been your helping hand. He had a sixth sense about these things. The moment things go wrong, he's there to dig you out of the rubble. You closed your eyes and remembered being in orbit. You remembered how he covered your hand with his and made everything okay again. You couldn't keep relying on him like this. It was your turn to be his helping hand.

"Somebody's sleepy~" Mark cut through the silence.

"It's been a day," you sighed and dragged your eyes to meet his.

"A sol," he corrected.

"Smartass," you fought the urge to chuckle. "Go to bed, before I get up and make you..."

"Don't need to tell me twice," He raised his hands in defeat. Mark moved to leave, but paused and grabbed your hand. "Hey Y/N?"

"Y-yeah?"

He gave your hand the gentlest of squeezes, "you're my best friend too..."

You glowed as the smile reached your eyes.

"Don't let it go to your head," he winked.

"Too late."

You held onto Mark a little tighter.

....................

Taglist: @jolovesfandoms

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Thank you for reading!

#x reader #mark watney / reader #the martian x reader #mark watney x reader #mark watney fanfiction #mark watney #the martian #watney x reader #reader fanfiction #the martian fanfic #the martian fanfiction #fanfic

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voidsentprinces · 1 year ago

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Mylla: Another word out of your mouth, Aldis and I'll beat you to death. Solkzagyl: Nah, therapy would take too much time. Imma just create an entire gaslighting plot around my death to recreate batman for Ishgard. Wyrnzoen: We get into some mild shenanigans here. Curious Gorge: I could try to look inward and explore my emotions...or I could just keep hitting things. Fray: This is bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that's a scam, fuck the church, here's a dark soul crystal. Sophie: Walk, walk, fashion baby. Hamon: It isn't violence against the elderly, if I call it TRAINING and I AM the elderly. Widargelt: Going to have more royal drama than the Sultana. Foulques: Gridania is racist...they will never fix this. But I can! BECAUSE I AM THE BEST LANCER IN THE WOR--OH NO! Estinien: Ishgard is classist...they will never fix this. But I can! BECAUSE I AM THE BEST DRAGOON IN THE WOR--OH NO! Jacke: We can stab people AND stop acts of terrorism. Karasu: Just having a little giggle. Having a bit of a laugh. Master Musosai: DAME DA NE! DAME YO DAME NA NO YO! Drusilla: Grandad was mad that the Emperor trolled him and is now making it everyone's problem. Sylphie: You may not like it but this is what peak conjury looks like. Raya-O-Senna: Hello and welcome! A-Ruhn-Senna: Die in a forest fire. Alka: Is it me or is that tonberry kinda...cute? Leveva: I would say I am sorry for blacking out, beating you and then burying you up to your neck in the middle of Coerthas. But I am not. Jannequinard: It is QUITE fine, my dear Lady Leveva. You did only what the stars asked, as any astrologian worth their salt would do. Aries Rising and all that. Loifa: I could easily explain my motives and backstory but this quest line has to last 8 more levels. Silvairre: Gridania is racist and shall never change its wa--oh no something happened to me personally. I have seen the error of my ways! Sanson: I can still hear his voice. Guydelot: Gay, gay, homosexual, gay, gay Stephanivien: Gonne training requires a steady hand and a leveled head. So I shall send you to someone who will teach you these things. Rostnstahl: ...sorry what? That guy over there has been looking at me for a while. Joye: That's your reflection. Rostnstahl: Oh right...hey you, shoot that guy over there in the ass. Nashmeira: Therapy would take too much time, lets dance for people's enjoyment. Cocobuki: How do you feel about casting Fire I for 50 levels? Shatotto: An arrow may have your name on it. But a fire ball is addressed to whom it may concern. K'lyhia: If my calculations are correct, you are only in this to get God and Anime on your side. Y'mhrita: I hear you know my sister. Well good news, cause we're about to harnass the power of GOD AND ANIME TO OUR SIDE! X'rhun: Yeah, I don't know why people keep running past and yelling, "Would you care to fuck this catman". Martyn: I am helping cure the smallpox by putting on shows to raise awareness. Quickly, VOMIT A FISH AT ME!

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saltlickmp3 · 4 months ago

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⚰️🕰️🌃 for your two favourite ocs

YAY YIPPEEEE THANK YOUUUUU i also kinda only have. two ocs hehe but YAY i also completey forgor about this so thank you for the reminder also

⚰️ - if your character lost a loved one, what would they do? would they grieve and move on? try to bring them back? cling to their remains?

mihangel has been dead before so his feelings on a loved one dying would be. Complex. because he knows how dark and empty it is to be dead but he also doesnt know if he's remembering right. maybe the afterlife is a beautiful place & he just doesnt know b/c he got pulled back into being alive? he would mourn & try to move on but there's still that nagging feeling of 'what if they really are alone'.

strangeways can talk to ghosts by partially entering their timestream and partially pulling ghosts into the normal timestream and She Would Do This. however she'd soon discover that talking to a dead loved one is actually a Terrible way to your live your life but there would definitely be a long period where she'd Want to sulk & be miserable about it and talk to them in the ghost world, even though it takes a lot of effort for her & only the most determined souls make fully lucid ghosts. especially if they've been dead for a while & are starting to fade, she'd still try to bring them through to this world to talk even when its incredibly draining for her. someone else very close to her would have to convince her to stop. she would be the kind of person to think 'i ALWAYS have to carry this around with me & be sad about it' even though she has an extended lifespan. she would think 'in a thousand years i still have to be upset about this' even if realistically the pain would have faded by then.

more under cut cos this is going to be. long lol

🕰 - what would your character do if they were stuck in a time loop?

YAYAYYYA TIMELOOP I LOVE TIME MESSED UP NESS!!!! they both have Time Things going on hehe

mihangel would. not be coping well with that. in his backstory a Time Thing happened to him that meant that events changed and he is no longer dead, and he would probably think that this is the universe tryng to right itself & fix time by putting him in a loop or a pocket dimension of something. he would be freaking out about being stuck in a timeloop (is he aging? will he ever die? is everyone else looping to or is it only me stuck here? how do i even begin to get out?), she has anxiety which isnt helping. i think (depending how long she's there) she would go through a period of like. doing slightly odd but not actually harmful things just b/c there are significantly less consequences. go for 2am walks by herself. be slightly weird in public. climb up the side of a building and sit on the roof all day.

strangeways would go straight to the 'oh hell yeah, no consequences!!' stage where she'd think 'well if the universe doesnt sort this out in a few days i'll deal with it then, but in the mean time i'm gonna steal a tv and set a couch on fire and go drinking & go to the loudest concert possible' but there would be a deep undercurrent of The Dread. she would just think well surely this will sort itself out soon right????? as she goes out for the 173rd night in a row of wandering around in the dark looking for something interesting to do, as a distraction while she hopes the problem will go away. she'd think to herself 'oh wow i could use this to study so much' only to find that her notes have unwritten themself you know. idk maybe the room wouldnt reset but you get the idea.

🌃 - what would your character do if they were trapped in a labyrinthine city that's alive?

THEYD BOTH BE HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND ALSO BE DEEPLY UNSETTLED BY THE EXPERIENCE YIPPEE

knowing them they'd probably be there together, so. mihangel would be trying to figure out where they are & how to get where they're going & get out again without getting lost/trapped/consumed by the city/etc. probably trying not to touch the walls. he'd be more Disguested when he works out the city is Alive i think. morbidly fascinated but more wanting to just Get Out Of There. strangeways would be pushing button and picking stuff up & being like 'haha wow this is kinda creepy & cool' while trying to cover up that she's actually really unsettled by the whole thing. mihangel would be interested in Looking Around, and strangeways would want to try & communicate with the city, whether or not they can work out if thats possible.

#YAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYYYYYYY THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :D #<3 hehe #i keep thinking hmmmm i should think about my ocs more & then. forgetting lol.#these are really good questions also good choices #thanks for the ask!!#mihangel is the character in my pfp also <3 my favourite boygirl <3 #ocs

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luvsae · 1 year ago

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hiii! can you do arisu x reader "I'm sorry I never loved you." (preferably that arisu would be the one saying that). Please ignore if you have done this request already. Thank you <33

this has been in my inbox for so long and i apologize !! this is gonna be a sad one D:

heartbroken | ryohei arisu

- "i'm sorry i never loved you."

- ryohei arisu x gn!reader | angst

You waited.

Waited and waited.

But he never wanted to show up.

Arisu had been your friend for years and now you were roommates. But with those years, a crush on him developed.

At first, you denied it, but the way he was so kind to you made it difficult, and you couldn't deny those feelings anymore.

For the past few days, you tried hanging out with Arisu, but he always had an excuse.

"I have to help my dad with something", "I have to go see Karube and Chota", "I have to stay late today."

Of course, all of those things could be possible, but it was strange to you. You two used to hang out all the time, but something shifted in your friendship.

This morning, you texted him saying that you needed to tell him something when he got home. He asked if everything was okay, which you replied with 'yes', and he agreed to see you soon.

But now you were left looking like a fool. Waiting for someone who was never going to show up.

Perhaps it hurt more because it was someone you love. Is love too strong of a wors? No. You can still love your friends - that's what you reminded yourself.

You were currently sitting on the couch, fiddling with your fingers and looking at the door a few times. You sent many text messages to Arisu, but he never read them.

A sigh escaped you. Why would he do this now?

Too many thoughts appeared in your mind. You thought he was just busy, but the many excuses left you doubtful and worried. You didn't want to grow apart from Arisu as you two had been friends since high school, but the crush you had developed made it hard to think it would be okay in the end.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the door unlocking and a man stepping in. That man was Arisu, making you stand up immediately.

"Arisu." His name left your mouth. The shock of it was noticeable, which you cursed yourself for as he looked nonchalant.

"Hey," he replied back casually as he slipped his shoes off by the door. The identical shoes were unorganized - classic Arisu. It was a habit of his that he never fixed. "Sorry, I know you texted me but I couldn't reply."

"Oh," your voice was quiet, but you quickly cleared your throat and stood up straight. "It's okay, don't worry. I- was just worried, you know?"

"Ah," Arisu nodded before putting a bag down. "I hope you weren't waiting too long."

"I wasn't," you lied. "Do you want to eat?"

"I'm okay, but I'll have some water." Arisu went to your shared kitchen. You followed along like a lost puppy.

You and Arisu spoke for a bit despite the nervousness returning every now and then. All the thoughts contaminating your mind - it was dreadful.

"So, what did you do?" You asked, "while you were out, I mean."

"Just went to the store and stuff." Why was he answering so vaguely? Usually, he said every detail about what he had done in the day. It was weird. "What did you want to tell me, by the way? I've been curious about it all day."

All day? Then why didn't you come home?

"Uh," you scratched the back of your neck. "I feel like it doesn't matter anymore. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I'm curious. It's nothing bad, right?"

"No, well, I don't know what you'll think, but to me: no, it's not bad," you said. "I just.. I've been wanting to say this for a long time."

"You're making me a bit nervous." Arisu joked.

"Sorry, sorry," you laughed nervously. "Look, Arisu. We've known each other since high school. Meeting you was a big part of my life because, well, I mean we live together- that says a lot about our friendship, right?"

Arisu laughed and nodded.

You continued. "Throughout our time being friends.. you've been so nice to me and I cannot thank you enough for that. But,"

"But what?" He asked.

You couldn't even look at him for this part. "I started liking you. I know that probably sounds like some middle school drama, but I like you a lot."

Arisu fell silent, his eyes widening. "What?"

"I don't know how you feel, but we've held hands a lot, you've told me sweet things that make me smile so- so stupidly. You call me all these sweet nicknames. I just, I like you, thats all."

Arisu couldn't believe it. His face was covered in shock, yet his mouth had nothing spilling out of it.

"Please," you said. "Do you have anything to say?"

"I-" Arisu stood up. "Y/n."

"Yes?" You looked at him.

"I don't know what to say," he told you truthfully. "That was a lot of information to take in, I-"

"Listen, if you need time to think about it then-"

"I don't like you in that way." He blurted out.

"What?"

Your heart practically sank to your chest. Were hearing this right?

"I have feelings for someone else," Arisu told you the truth. His eyes trying to meet yours. "I'm so sorry, I just-"

"But the way you acted around me.. you acted as if you liked me," you suddenly filled with anger. "You would flirt with me."

"Flirt? Y/n, I was never flirting with you," he explained. "If I was flirting with you, I would've told you."

Your eyes filled with tears, yet they wouldn't fall out. Not yet. "You- why didn't you tell me before? Who is it that you like?"

He hesitated to answer. "Usagi."

Usagi.

Usagi?

She was your friend. One of your close friends, but he liked her. Not you.

"I-" you held back a sob. "I think I should move out."

"You don't have to do that. We can figure this out. Our friendship is more important than this."

"I can't," you told him. "I can't. I'm just gonna go stay at my parents for now."

"Y/n.." His face turned into a worried expression.

"We can talk more tomorrow," you said. "Maybe. I don't know, uh, thank you for hearing me out. I didn't know how to tell you."

You grabbed your bag, putting your shoes on in the process. Tears ran down your face when you weren't facing Arisu.

As you were about to open the door, Arisu stopped you. His hand was on your shoulder.

Looking up at him, Arisu noticed your tear-stained face. He frowned slightly - he obviosuly felt bad, yet his feelings couldn't change for you.

"I'm sorry I never loved you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you soon enough." You answered back.

"I wish things could be a bit different," he told you. "I'm sorry."

Then, you left.

#fanfic #alice in borderland #alice in borderland x reader #angst #ryohei arisu x reader #ryohei arisu

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misc-obeyme · 7 months ago

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i feel so validated and supported rn, omggg thank youuu <3 😭 ALSO YAY SOLOMAMS TRAIN!! I'M FILLED WITH IDEAS AND KEPT DAYDREAMING SCENARIOS AT WORK TODAY- I HAVE A NOTES APP SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS AU. I'd love to write it, I'm just afraid I wouldn't do my faves justice or know how to format it. Maybe interconnected drabbles?

i need to research the workings of cafes, and how food is served, because Mammon runs this place on his own. I like the idea of Mammon prepping sandwiches in the morning for the day, and waking up early to bake the pastries. There's also a "pipsqueak special" (named by Mammon, of course) every 1st and 3rd Monday of the month where there's limited cake that Luke baked over the weekend. All profits from his cakes go towards his college fund (Mammon adds extra money to his earnings without telling him).

AHAH, SPEAKING OF ME AND SOLOMON COMING IN AT THE SAME TIME... I have IDEAS. (literally inspired by my crazy day the other day)

Solomon who comes in ten minutes after opening (7:30 am?), on a Wednesday, to cram for an exam. Mammon is immediately pinching himself, his routine is off, he's not prepared and stumbles over his words. Solomon orders two coffees, no danish, and settles in. Mammon feels like the world is ending.

Two hours later, Mammon gets a text that I woke up early again (am on a three day streak) and am coming in for my usual. He knew that the record shop was going to be closed Wednesday-Friday for inventory and cleaning (he knew the shop would be closed, not because he stalks the social media page or anything in an attempt to work up the courage to visit. That would be crazyy).

He starts prepping the order, because I always show up around 24 minutes after I send it. It's routine. But now it's been 40 minutes, my drink is melting, my sandwich is cold, and Mammon feels like the world is ending once more. Solomon has not moved an inch in all this time (except to flip the page of his notes/textbook), and Mammon's eye twitches as he starts fixing up a sandwich, trying to convince himself he is NOT worried about the man. "Mammon? I didn't order a sandwich." "Yeah but ya haven't moved an inch except to flip the page of that damn notebook since you ordered your first two cups and I'm wor- I-I mean, it looks bad for business! It's been two hours, idiot." "And it's not bad business to call your customers idiots? *signature teasing Solomon smile*" "Tch. My customers enjoy the food too much to complain. They know what they signed up for, and that's what they come here for." "The food isn't the only thing they come here for." "Eh?" "Nothing. Ahaha, nothing at all."

Another twenty minutes pass, five after Solomon got his free sandwich. I finally show up out of breath, rambling about how the bus was late, then it broke down, the next one was cancelled, and I decided to walk the rest of the way. I practically collapse into a bar seat, while asking if I can still have my usual, but for here instead. Mammon short circuits, since I always take my food to go since I immediately head over to my shop once I grab my order. And I'm staring at him with my head tilted, up close for once and blinking curiously at him. And wow, my lashes are so long, and are my eyes really that dark? He notices there's gold eyeshadow on my waterline, and why am I waving my hand in front of his face- HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN STARING?! "Earth to Mams?" "*voice crack* Y-Yeah? *Coughs* I'll uh...have your usual out in a sec." 'Wait... Did she just call me Mams?' 'Oh god, I just called him Mams, what if he doesn't like that. Wait, he didn't say anything so maybe he didn't notice?? I gotta act natural. *ears are currently the brightest shade of red ever*'

Mammon feels like the world is ending again for the- He's lost count of how many times he's felt like this today (third times the charm).

And now Solomon has noticed me, coming up to make small talk. Mammon has his back turned for one second to start prepping the drink, and suddenly Solomon has moved his work and food to the bar, right next to me, planning to join me and eat together. A little break from studying should be good, right?

Mammon feels like the world is against him. The two regulars he serves who both make him feel lightheaded for different reasons, who he knows their orders like the back of his hand, but only snippets of their lives, are sitting right in front of him and giggling together like old friends. His heart is in overdrive. He's stuck behind the counter. They're both smiling at him. God help him. (tbc! ..maybe LMAO)

okayokay, hope everyone enjoyed my ramblings. this came out longer than I meant it to, as always </3

- ✨ anon

Okay, now, listen here. I am here to tell you that you will absolutely do it justice. You already have. I can tell by the amount of thought you've put into all the scenes you've described for me so far. You've practically half written it all already!

As for format, interconnected drabbles are the same thing as a full story. Well, for me, drabbles are very short almost summaries, more poetry than anything. But some of them are a little longer and more like scenes. All my fics that are either drabbles or ficlets are a single scene. When you interconnect them, they become a story. Whether you call that a fic or a short story or perhaps it even ends up closer to novella length, that just depends on you.

Stories are structured around scenes. For instance, you might write a scene where Mammon sees Solomon coming in to the cafe, only ordering two coffees and no danish, freaking out. Then your next scene is what happens two hours later, when he gets the text from you that starts the whole next part of the action. You can also change scenes every time you change viewpoint. For instance, if you were going to write a version of the first scene from Solomon's perspective.

WELL anyway, not to get all technical about writing stuff with you here lol. It's just something I like to talk about. I guess my point is that if you do want to write it, don't worry about not doing it justice or the format of it. The first thing never really goes away, so you gotta learn to write despite it. And the second thing will usually just resolve itself as you go!

Anyway, I'm loving this story about the three of you and I absolutely want to know what happens next. I love the image of both you and Solomon sitting at the bar smiling at Mammon who's busy having a meltdown about it. Absolutely amazing, it's like you're unknowingly ganging up on him and he can't take it lol. Do you somehow end up as Solomon's apprentice in this au? Or like learning something from him? Or is it just the crossing of paths continually at the coffee shop? Does Mammon ever confess to either of you??? I have to know how this resolves itself! As long as they all end up together, I'll be happy lol!

#tell me more I'm seriously hooked #it sounds so sweet the way you all interact with each other #two tsunderes and one confident guy who is probably the only reason anything happens at all lol #obey me #obey me solomon #obey me mammon #✨ anon #misc answers

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liarian · 2 years ago

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Pleas

The last thing Taka would have imagined was seeing Sato kneeling at the foot of his bed begging him for everything to stop. Nothing that had come out of his mouth in the last ten minutes made the slightest bit of sense but the terror was evident on his face.

"I don't know what you think I can do for you." Taka stared at him, leaning against the headboard of the bed.

All he wanted was for Sato to leave his room and finally forget about his existence. Taka was too tired to care in the least about anything he had to say.

"I can't sleep, I can't think, it's staring at me all the time! I know it's there, I can feel its presence."

"'What,' what's supposed to be there? Do you think I've cursed you? That an evil spirit haunts you even while you're sleeping? I wouldn't wish something like that on my worst enemy." Taka couldn't help but laugh at such an absurd idea. "Do you really think I have that kind of ability? I'm not like you, I don't need to make anyone's life miserable to feel better than anyone else."

"But it all started with that friend of yours! And that crazy psychic you work for! I know it was them! It's their fault that it's chasing me around all the time!" Sato began to cry. "Please, just ask them to make it leave me alone. I'm sorry I didn't believe you before. But please. Please, Reigen. I'm going crazy, I can't take it anymore."

"Kageyama-san and Serizawa?" Taka couldn't help but laugh again. The idea was so absurd that it didn't even compute in his mind. "They would never do something like that. Why should they bother with someone like you? I can't do anything for you."

Sato stood up. His eyes were bloodshot. Taka had the impression he was looking in a mirror, the dark circles under his eyes brown and his skin a sickly color. Serizawa didn't even know who Sato was, there was no reason for them to have met, and Kageyama-san... The idea that he might have something to do with it turned his stomach.

"Just talk to your boss. You won't have to hear a word from me again. If I have to, I'll swear in front of whoever I have to, but please. Reigen, please."

"All right," Taka sighed. "But I can't promise you anything."

"I-I understand. Just thanks for trying. I've been a jerk. Y-you didn't deserve it."

"Spare me your apology" Taka cut him off before Sato could engage in a string of endless pleading again.

"I'm sorry. I understand!" Sato stood up and paused in the doorway for a moment. "W-when we were little... Mogami was there. Y-you hadn't made that up, had you?"

"Does it matter?" Taka replied sharply, his gaze fixed on Sato's face. "Seven years is a long time."

Sato opened his mouth and closed it again as if he were a fish gasping out of water. Completely lost and scared he was just another pathetic kid. Maybe they weren't so different but Taka didn't owe him any explanation.

He didn't even owe him forgiveness for the months and months he had treated him as a liar and just an attention seeker. Nor for the years he had managed to make sure that in class no one spoke to him for fear of finding themselves amongst the outcasts. At that point he no longer cared. Even if the rest of the world had kept hating him, Taka had enough knowing that Serizawa was still going to be there.

----

Taka had lost count of how long he had been locked in his room but seeing the street again and smelling the smoke from the cars was comforting. The doctor had forbidden him to set foot on the ground yet but after a few stumbles with the crutches it seemed he was finally getting the hang of it.

"Are you sure this is a good idea already?" Serizawa fluttered nervously around him. "Isn't it too soon?"

"If I have to stay home one more minute, my mom's going to end up driving me crazy." Taka arched his eyebrow.

The day was warm for autumn and it wasn't as if Taka intended to start running a marathon. It was just going to the park near home. It was barely two blocks. After nearly three months in a cast, that's what he had to be able to get to. And if the worst happened, Taka could always swallow his pride and let Serizawa carry him home again.

"You know, something really weird happened the other day." Taka bit his lip concentrating on moving forward with the crutches. "A classmate came to beg me for forgiveness. He's convinced he's cursed. The last thing I expected was for him to mention you. You and Kageyama-san. I didn't know you knew Sato."

"S-sato?" Serizawa stammered as he fiddled anxiously with his fingers. "M-maybe we had a little incident."

""Little!" Taka stopped in the middle of the street, too stunned to continue moving forward on his crutches. "Sato was on the verge of an anxiety attack!"

"Serves him right." Serizawa frowned. "They were saying outrageous things and... and... and... they had no right! They shouldn't be able to say whatever they want!"

"So you were allowed to have fun torturing him? Is that it?" Taka didn't even know what he was supposed to feel. Disappointment and anger were mixing in his chest and he didn't know where one began and the other ended. "Sato's a jerk but to stoop to his level-"

"Having fun torturing him? Really?" Serizawa stared at him as if Taka had backstabbed him. "I know it's not right! But it's not always so easy to control him when...when.... And Kageyama-san managed to stop me before anything grave happened! Sometimes I'm not able to understand you! Why would you defend someone like that? And you didn't even intend to tell me what was going on! What if it had been worse?"

"I don't need you to defend me! It's not like I'm not used to it!" Taka yelled. "What would I have gotten out of telling you that at school no one talks to me?" All his anger seemed to deflate completely. All at once he felt too tired. It would have been so easy to just disappear. "I didn't want you to feel sorry for me. And in the end they always get bored. It's not so terrible. Sato and his buddies laugh for a while and then forget about my existence altogether. If I wasn't a complete moron, this time wouldn't have been any different."

"The Valentine's Day letter" Serizawa seemed to have tied up ends at last.

"It was impossible for it to be real but I didn't want to listen to the little voice in my head telling me it was all a sick joke. I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Taka laughed unhinged.

Serizawa slowly approached him until he completely invaded his personal space.

"I'm not proud that I lost control. Someone might have gotten hurt, but nothing serious happened. I promise you nothing serious happened. Kageyama-san completely shut down my powers before things could get any worse."

"Sato wasn't talking about telekinesis. Whatever you're doing, you have to stop. He really thinks he's cursed."

"Do? It was just that day. Kageyama-san just wanted to make sure that something like what happened the other day didn't happen again. I-it's hard to see you like this and not do anything. I-I care about you a lot. W-we care about you a lot." Serizawa closed his eyes for a moment, a blush tingeing his cheeks "Kageyama-san does too. When he asked me for help, I c-couldn't say no to him. If it hadn't been for Kageyama-san things could have ended very badly b-but nothing happened. I promise you nothing happened. If Sato thinks he's cursed, it wasn't our doing."

"It's okay." Taka closed his eyes for a moment and let his forehead touch Serizawa's shoulder. "I'm sorry I thought that."

"It's okay." Taka noticed a shiver as he felt Serizawa's fingers stroking his hair. "You weren't so wrong either. I'd do anything to keep you safe."

"Don't talk nonsense." Taka tried to disguise the lump in his throat.

Having him around was enough but many times, even that seemed too much. Taka still wasn't able to understand how he could deserve to have someone like Serizawa in his life.

Serizawa's words were still spinning in his head.

Anything was a dangerous term in the hands of people like Serizawa and Kageyama-san. The last thing Taka wanted was to be the one to blame for two of the people he cared about most not being able to look at themselves in the mirror when they woke up in the morning.

"You don't think Kageyama-san might have done something foolish?" Serizawa seemed to have read his mind.

"N-no." Taka hated not being sure of his answer.

When he had no one, Kageyama-san had always been there. Even when he was nothing but a nuisance, Kageyama-san had merely sighed and let him get on with whatever it was he was doing. At any moment he could have kicked him out of the office. It wasn't as if Taka had anything to do in the face of an ESPer. It was hard to imagine that someone who had offered him a place to belong when he had nothing could do something like that to Sato.

It all had to be a terrible coincidence.

Sato really believed he was cursed but it all had to be his imagination. Kageyama-san would never have been capable of something like that. It was impossible, wasn't it? Uncertainty seemed to want to gnaw at his gut. Taka hated to doubt Kageyama-san, but it wasn't as if he didn't have the power to make Sato's nightmares come true.

#mp100 #mp100 ageswap #serirei #reigen arakata #serizawa katsuya #my own writing #fanfic

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squadron-goals · 1 year ago

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End of 1918: Ceasefire and revolution

Rudolf Berthold is in the Berlin University Hospital until late autumn 1918, where his sister looks after him. Due to the slow healing of his wounds, further use of Berthold in the troops was no longer an option, nor was he initially granted use at home. He spent the last weeks of the war in his Franconian home.

October 1918

Overthrow! Constitutional change! In a few days, what strong men have built up over centuries will be destroyed. "Peace at any price!" So the seduced people whine. People everywhere have lost their heads. One doubts the army. We are still far in enemy territory and we are supposed to surrender? Madness! Oh Germany, where is your national feeling? How great France is in this respect! Despite all the devastation at home, despite the many defeats, it remains strong. We have been victorious for 4 years, we have smashed armies and states almost in all parts of the compass rose, and yet the homeland has not been behind the front for a long time! Not only because of the privations to which we too were subjected; the internal incitement, the worthless party discord has crushed the spirit of unification of 1914, has crushed all that was good! You dishonourable wretches who have carried the spirit of treason to the people under the guise of the alleged idea of peace, do you believe that the enemy will know justice and mercy? Ceasefire offer ... our honour is over! I still push for the front. The consequences of my last crash are outwardly overcome. Unfortunately, my right arm remains lame. But I shot with it in spring and summer after all. The will and the ability just have to be there! I want my Geschwader 2 back. Precisely because I had the greatest difficulties with it for months until it was flying at its best, until it grew close to my heart. I am attached to each and every one of them.

The belief in the imminent peace of nations is a fantasy of our pacifists: the world will never completely eliminate ill-will and enmity, love even among nations can never be forced, especially when hatred lies in the blood, and a bridge can never be built in the long run between people that differ from each other like fire and water. Only power and the will to defend oneself secure life for the individual as well as the nation.

Wilson replied. We continue on the sloping track and I still have to sit here. I want to go out to the front! I'm supposed to put together a new fighter wing after all. If only I had at least my healthy bones ..., but I'll make it anyway! The will does everything. As long as the battle rages outside, everyone who has experience belongs out there! One can help so much, especially from an educational point of view! How pathetic is this begging in front of Wilson! The front is fixed again and yet we want to surrender, we the actual bearers of the victories! How ridiculous, mean and miserable is fate sometimes! These days I am in my closer home near Bamberg. It is a beautiful piece of German soil. This magnificent German forest, the serious spruce, they seem to me even more gloomy than usual, even sad! They mourn with me over our nation's growing disgrace!... This people without self-confidence should be ripe to govern itself! Disgusting is the poison and spite that is spread against the person of our Emperor! Thus the foreign countries must only despise us all the more.... Join together, all of you who have kept your decent minds in these days of meanness! Cast off all petty party interests, let honour, loyalty and love for the homeland not be empty phrases!

November 1918

There has been such an eerie silence before the storm over Berlin since the end of October, all that is missing is the spark and the discharge is there! Berlin, the center of all intellectual life, the nurturing center of art and science, the center of the greatest industrial activity, on the one hand, the giver of everything good and beautiful. On the other side, again, the breeding ground for the worst impulses and impulses, the abode of all the worst criminals, the rejects of humanity, the revolutionary rabble who can only destroy, not build up, who cannot lose anything, but only in bloody upheaval with murder, robbery and looting has to win! There is also the branch of Russian Bolshevism and these wicked elements, supported by the Soviet embassy, are already beginning to stir. As unbelievable as it sounds, they are hugely popular and the weak Democratic government is letting them do what they want instead of interfering with fire and sword. Instead of coming together and forming a solid fighting bloc, the good citizen is left at a loss. Speeches are made and incendiary articles are written in the newspapers, but there is a lack of initiative. If the storm breaks out, everything will definitely go into chaos, everyone will try to save themselves and go under one by one. Our previous regime can be blamed for not educating the people sufficiently in national consciousness; the press system in particular should have been better supervised and controlled by the state! Because what educates the common man more than his newspaper? With the most ruthless severity, timely intervention had to be made where one was at work undermining the love for the people and homeland, the only source of our strength! They tried to win over these elements through false indulgence and clemency, the result was a strengthening of the un-German direction and the true friend of the fatherland saw his ideals, for which thousands gladly gave their blood, for which they sacrificed their everything, sullied by a brutal hand. As long as a good core, even if it is currently so small, lives in our people and does not die out, we have the indestructible hope that one day loyal German reception and feeling will awaken in the fatherland and will relentlessly demand accountability from those who, for criminal reasons incite the people with mean egoism, tear them apart with incendiary speeches and ignite the revolutionary fire!

The Commission left to accept the ceasefire conditions - unconditional! -. Is there anything else we can do now that Bolshevism, once promoted by the Social Democrats, is becoming increasingly widespread? Kiel, Lübeck, Braunschweig... Workers-Soldiers' Council dominate the field and, to add insult to injury, the cowardly and oath-breaking home troops are defecting to the revolutionaries in droves. The king's coat, which I have worn with honor and pride for so long, is desecrated! How difficult it is, how terribly difficult, to continue living!

Berlin and Munich are ablaze, judging by the broken connections! This precisely at the moment when we need to be strong in order to gain as much as possible from the enemy in the negotiations! It has happened: the revolution has broken out! Fate, go your way now! The wildest rumors are circulating in the countryside, which is cut off from all connections. Emperors and princes have been driven out, the Bavarian king has been driven out of Munich! Unbelievable! But now you can trust the mob to do anything! And I have to sit here doing nothing, especially these days! Oh, if only I had a company of my peacekeepers and we would soon have peace restored! I would hunt down the ringleaders; day and night they would have no peace until they had reaped their well-deserved reward: the hanging!

In the last few days I couldn't write: everything was too terrible! One piece of terrible news follows another, leaving no room for calm reflection. What people were afraid to suspect is now reality: the mob has become master overnight! Workers' and Soldiers' Councils everywhere, these canails have chosen the moment well for their work! These new ministers are agitators and shouters, party bigwigs and professional politicians of the worst kind! And nothing is harder to learn than to command well and govern well! What I saw weeks ago: in this chaos, the majority of our people were simply taken by surprise and then lost their heads. Poor Germany, where are you going?

I didn't have my diary in hand for over 4 weeks. I wanted to forget, not think, and yet it was impossible to calm down. Today, on Christmas Day, I'm looking through the pages again and asking you, dear diary, about memories. Like every year, like outside in front of the enemy, like as a child and as a man in peace, this time I decorated a tree just for myself: the Christ child above, with a small airplane underneath, looks at us and smiles. They know that you are my best advisor, my friend in good days and bad. There is snow outside, which I rarely saw in the field, and which I always wished for at Christmas because it brings the real Christmas atmosphere. Snow on German fir trees... and yet no Christmas spirit! This time the snow is like a big shroud that covers so much beauty, so much longing, so much ideal. Why do I always feel this cold shiver when I look out of the window over the fields, meadows and forest in their white dress, even though the cozy warmth surrounds me in my little room?

It's Christmas and yet completely different than usual! Did the time of revolution also bury our old German Christmas, the joyful hope, our childhood faith? Then, German people, if you have forgotten how to be a child, you are no more worth than being thrown into a pit and covered with earth! If earning money and rawness of heart and emotions mean strength for you, then you don't deserve to have thousands of people believe in you like they believe in themselves and bleed, gladly bleed and bleed to death! Free, free, finally free! This is how the masses roar, this is how they rage. One infects the other, everything forms a huge army of drunks, exiles, madmen! The happiness of the new freedom is shouted to each other. You call each other comrade and brother, fall into each other's arms, kiss... and suddenly the stupid citizen, the beer table hero, notices that his wallet is missing! Freedom, equality! How greedily the eyes sparkle! I ask the one who shouts the loudest, he looks at me with stupid eyes, thinks and stutters: "Me, I don't need to work anymore!" He is a worker who I asked about the nature of the new freedom... I ask a farmer who I previously saw walking arm in arm with the worker. First the same stupid face, then a blissful smile: "I don't have to deliver anymore, I can now sell my grain and my potatoes secretly and use the money..." I ask an elementary school teacher. A proud look from above. "Now we are the masters. We will finally get the salary that we have always fought for. Now we demand: now we must be given the social position that we deserve based on our intellectual superiority, our salary!" So this is what the happiness of the new freedom looks like! The worker no longer wants to work, but wages, high wages, money, money. The farmer believes, with the cleverness that is innate in him, that he can drain his fellow human beings, the city dwellers, the workers; He sees human duty as an annoying constraint, he only wants money, money... The elementary school teacher sees demands as his ideal.

Why do you look at me so sadly, my little tree? Only a few families have a Christmas tree and the children run around depressed. Devotional! Brutes mockingly disrupt the church service. That is now the “great thing”, that the freedom of the republic has brought us is a big field of rubble, slavery! And how I longed for this Germany after being outside from the beginning! High and low lay shoulder to shoulder in the same dirt, the officer next to his soldiers, all animated by one thought: to protect the fatherland! That was real democracy, that trench community, it and only it can be the foundation stone for a new building of our German nation! My dear little tree, have no fear: I remain firm and strong inside despite the external collapse and with me many, many Germans. The inner values remain and true inner greatness cannot be lost. German fir, grown in the German forest, a symbol of hope and loyalty, you should not remind us in vain that we too are children of the same earth. German Christmas in German lands! How rich we are for having such a feast! As long as we celebrate Christmas, German loyalty will not die out in German hearts!

#rudolf berthold

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groovylittleclown · 1 year ago

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I wanna ramble about my little stories and characters but that means I have to work on them and I don't have the spoons for that.. sob sob.. (/silly)

If anyone is curious about any of them, I can give a little blurb!! Most are newer ideas and haven't been smoothed out, so I'll probably be making stuff up as I go. But making stuff up is writing!!

I talked a bit about Ollie and Lucky Against the World and No Flash Photography Please here. Those are my oldest stories I think. Against the World (oalatw for short because that's a lot of typing(no I don't know how to pronounce that, haha!!)) is definitely the one I poured most of my heart in. I haven't done anything for it in a bit, and I still need to fix up my characters, but I think about them a lot. A new development is that Jasper really likes collecting bolts and screws and others of that sort. Like, whenever Lucky goes to the hardware store to buy stuff for Marsh's robotics club or the sudden passion projects of Bonnie, Skye, and Ollie or even for their camera repair shop, Jasper will come with. Jasper got them special store time walkie talkies just for when Lucky is running to the hardware store. Cause Lucky and Jasper are the only ones who like going! Ollie disappears down the paint isle never to be seen again. Bonnie stares at the lamps like she's a moth in heaven. Skye just doesn't like going. Marsh sits in the cart the whole time. And Holly is banned from the hardware store. Wren and Wilbur (the parents) stopped going after Lucky took over the trips and just leaves them a little list of the things that they need and some money.

Lucky actually does most of the shopping in the house. The parents are busy with work, Ollie and Bonnie and Skye are all doing in person college, Lucky is "doing college from home" (*cough* dropped out and hasn't told anyone *cough*), and Marsh and Jasper and Holly are all going to their own schools.

Occasionally Colin stops by with some goodies and treats, but he doesn't really do the shopping. Colin is Wren's ex. He's the dad of Bonnie, Ollie, Jasper, and Holly. I could go on about their wacky family past and whatever Colin is going. But I won't because I want to talk more about Lucky's job(s).

So in this world, it's customary for kids to live at home through college or stay with family in a different town, rather than move out or get dorms and stuff. The dorms are only for people who do not have family where the college is, or who NEED to leave. The kids who are doing school from home usually get at least two part time jobs because the only course load is notably lighter than the brick and mortar course load. (Disclaimer, I have not gone to college, I am pulling this out of my ass.) So Lucky used to be in college for mechanics/engineering. That is usually a brick and mortar course, but Lucky started college while they were still in high school, so they were allowed to be online, and just never moved over.

Lucky works for the Snowthorne library, and Cat's Eye Cafe(a silly joke because they are cats and when Wilbur met his wife Elena, she gave him a Tiger's Eye stone), which is their dad's little coffee shop. In addition to this, Lucky runs a little at home repair shop to make a bit more money. So they'll fix things like toasters and game consoles. They specialize in cameras, and they have worked on things like cars and fridges. .. For some reason. For the bigger jobs, Lucky will go to the client's house and do their little repair stuff. So Lucky needs to run to the hardware store quite often.

Oh! And another reason Jasper likes going to the hardware store is because he is trying to learn how to make his own ghost buster equipment. .. it's not going so well, but they're trying!! Marsh and Lucky help him a bit. Marsh doesn't really specialize in that kinda stuff though. He does a lot of bot fighting type stuff. Cause it's cool.

Can you tell I like Lucky? I like Lucky a lot. I have also rambled for FAR too long, very sorry about that. I gotta work on spreading it to smaller thought dumps more frequently. Rather than one massive blurb once every blue moon. Haha!!

#mackerel posts #mackerel rambles #long post #VERY long post #ollie and lucky against the world #oalatw #maybe ill focus on other characters another time #like id love to tell you about ollies projects and clowning and silliness #and id love to develop skye some more because she needs help #or maybe the family history or why this is a puppet story or oh i dunno the actual plot #but i am so sleepy #so i am going to bed #i wish i knew how to add the read more cut on mobile..#this post really got away from me

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theangelshavethephonebox · 1 year ago

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Honestly, I don't really have an umbrella term. Irl I just use the word that refers to whatever species they are (e.g. chicken hatches), and I guess if I'm referring to multiple species that create life in different ways I just say something like "make babies" or "create lives" or "put a little them into the world" or whatever

Ah, I assumed that Missy knows the Doctor's name in the way that River knows the Doctor's name. Yano, marriage wise. I more meant Time Lord Naming Conventions that were assigned to them, like how human parents give us names, so before they became a renegade. When they may not have respected the rules, but at the very least went along with the conventions somewhat.

I think there's a word, something like a assignedloomnamehousename type thing, that if you tell someone and you truly love them then they hear the song behind the words. I know it's unnecessary complicated, but I'm sappy. So basically, I think that River and 11 eventually reached a level of trust (post WoRS) where he told her his name, and she heard the song. Then she would have said that word in the library, and he would have heard the song of her love reflected back.

Yeah, we've had this argument again and again, no point in getting into it here. We're both too fixed in our ways lol.

I do actually have this headcanon that Magnus was kind of famous as a kid, and that little child Koschei looked up to him. So I suppose under that view it is possible that he liked Magnus so much he was going to use the name when he reached the Academy, but then he met Magnus and realised they were going to be classmates, and was too embarrassed to give the name Magnus to the actually Magnus. Then, later in life, the Master could definitely tell people he's Magnus/the war chief to confuse people (in fact I actually believe this, and wrote a fic about it lol) but that's as far as I'll agree with your cockamamy ways (/light-hearted)! Remember, the Master is always lying. Using the unreliable narrator point we can reach an agreement in that we can never really know after the academy era because my guy is just always lying

me and @dontcallmecedge were discussing what The Master’s name is and we came to the conclusion that within the 77 years he was trapped on earth he founded toys r us

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riffaist · 3 years ago

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hey there, dollface — riff x jet!reader

warnings: none ig? just riff being riff. also first time writing so i hope it's okay! lmk what you think!

"you doing good down there, dollface?"

the girl looked both sides, searching for the voice that was way too familiar, only finding the dark haired boy when she took her eyes up the fire escape at one of the buildings.

"riff." she let herself look at him for some. seconds. the bright sunlights bathing his dark messy hair, "i'm all good. you?"

"you know, the usual" she didn't exactly know what the usual meant. but noticing his hands covered in black paint wasn't exactly a nice sight. "i will be seeing you tonight, right?" the smirk on his face made Y/N shrug, adjusting the bag on her shoulder before answering.

"the social mix thing?" she shook her head, trying to fix her pale blue skirt. "oh god, no."

"what do you mean oh god, no?" the way he raised his voice made Y/N chuckle. "how come the jet's favorite person isn't coming to the dance?" he asked, finally getting down of the ladder, staying alongside the girl.

"well," no objections to him walking right by her side. walking her to work. "the jet's favorite person's got work to do."

"to that old lady?" the nickname by itself made Y/N raise her eyebrows, trying so very hard to stay the slightest irritated at him. "dollface c'mon. it will be great! you can dress up all pretty, we can dance, have some fun."

"does that mean you won't be stirring any pots today?" the jet girl questioned, "and you know you don't have to worry about getting me to doc's safely, yeah?"

"well. first, i do have my reasons." he mocked her tone, holding his laugh. "and second, i guess you'll have to find out."

"i think that's enough of an answer," Y/N said jokingly, "does tony know about this?"

"i was just about to ask him," he smirked "see? that's a perfectly good reason for me to be walking you to that old store."

"stop saying that, riff." she warned, with a slight slap on his shoulder. "doc's is a great work place, and valentina is more then nice to let me work there."

"the other jet girls don't work." he mumbled, fixing his sleeveless black jacket. "just ask grazie for a dress or somethin'. you don't take a time for yourself in forever."

"god, no." that was starting to become an obsession. "grazie wouldn't lend me a dress in a hundred years. besides," she focused her eyes on him, and said the rest of that sentence a bit more quietly. "the other jet girls don't want to get out of here."

before the boy had any time to answer, they found themselves in front of the pharmacy, making Y/N shrug. "this is my stop. but thanks for walking me here, riff."

"no issues, beautiful." he seemed relaxed, as he always did, not worrying about a single thing in the world. "i hope to see you there tonight, yeah? i'll even save you a dance!"

she rolled her eyes, before getting in to the store, lefting her bags and jacket behind the counter, not worring about tony not being there, figuring he would probably be in the basement at this point, starting to organize some medications.

Y/N was left at doc's still feeling the warmth sun on her hair and clothes, the silence making her think about taking the courage to get out of the pharmacy and go ask velma for a pretty, blue, new dress.

#riff x reader #riff x jet!reader #wss #riff #west side story #mike faist #mike faist x reader

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positivityjediprince · 3 years ago

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Luke didn't want to go back to Tatooine. Even if it was just for a few hours. The planet was filled with painful memories, with a past that felt both centuries and minutes ago. But, he knew he had to. He had to do this. He wanted to do this.

"Fucking hell! If you think you can intimidate me into free service with you're spooky hood and silence, let me tell you I've faced far wor-" the sound of fabric pulling away from his hair seemed to fill the entire yard. "WORMIE!?"

Luke somehow cringed and laughed, he had missed Peli. Summers spent tinkering away on every rusty, broken ship and speeder that passed through her workshop seemed like a whole different life time.

"Hi, Ms Motto.."

Peli rushed over, bundling him in a bone crushing hug that put a wampa to shame, before pulling away and fixing him with her famous Peli stare.

"You owe me three weeks of work, Wormie! I don't care about all that galactic nonsense, I had to buy more droids since no one I hired was anywhere close to your level."

Luke laughed, only Peli could make a compliment sound like an insult, "I'm sorry Ms Motto."

"Damn right you should be!"

She paused, unusually silent, before pulling Luke in for another hug, this one far gentler than before. "I'm sorry about Beru and Owen" and whispered as one hand came to stroke his hair, "they loved you very much."

Suddenly he was was 19 again, staring at charred corpses and a blackened home, he cried. Cried like he hadn't allowed himself to cry in all these years. He'd been on the go. Non stop. Running from the memories of lowering his parents into shallow graves, as charcoal stuck to his body.

He wasn't sure how long he cried for. The suns were far lower in the sky.

"Tell me you didn't come here alone? I don't think I can let you leave by yourself."

Luke wiped his nose on the edge of his cape, Leia was gonna not going to be happy about that, and smiled.

"I came here with my...partner... fiancé?"

"Wow, you're getting married!?"

"Why do you sound so shocked?! Beru always said I was a catch!"

"Well Beru also rejected my advances, so we can't trust her judgement." Luke laughed so hard he began to choke on the phlegm left over from crying. "See?This is why I'm shocked youre getting married squirt. Sooooo will I be meeting him? Is he coming to ask for permission? Because I'm a tough sell."

"I think you already know him..."

He could see Peli's mind speed through an index of people she knew, she was never going to gue-"

"Mando?"

Wait..What?

"How?!?!?"

Peli waved dismissevly, "broad shoulders, sexy voice, and a cute kid. I've known you since you were the size of a spanner."

"You really are incredible Ms Motto."

"Oh enough of that, I'm not giving you a pay rise no matter gow cute you are."

Luke grinned, she hadn't changed a bit - it was comforting. He took a deep breath, okay Skywalker here we go.

"Ms Motto-"

Luke's serious tone caught Peli off guard, "yes?"

"Do you-" he closed his eyes, "Do you have any photos of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru?"

His eyes were burning, "I don't have any and-" he could feel his voice catching on his tears, "and- and I want them to be at my wedding."

The admission sent Luke over the edge again as the tears fell in heavy drops on the sand below.

For the third time that day, Peli held Luke close to her, "I do. You sure you want to see them now? Let's get some food in you first?" She gave him a squeeze before pulling back, "And I want to see that tin can and your son before I cry again!"

Luke let out a wet laugh, "I'll comm him."

-----

Turns out Peli did not really want to see Din, she barely acknowledged him as she swooped in to throw Grogu in to the air.

Luke watched her, she tried to hide it but she was such a softie, especially when it came to children. Strong arms circled round his waist, and the beskar of Din's helmet was a pleasantly cool.

"You doing okay, Cyar'ika?"

"More than. Maybe Tatooine isn't the worst place in the world."

"Mmmm, could be Hoth."

"Hey, I had some good times on Hoth!"

"You don't get frosty armour."

Luke giggled, relaxing into his lovers hold.

"Mando, you better be keeping those hands above the waist or I'll cut them off."

Peli pointed a threatening spanner at him, someone looking threatening despite the baby eating her hair.

------

Dinner was great, Luke had missed real Tatooinian food and Peli - the softie -was providing his favourites non stop.

Grogu feel asleep almost instantly after finishing his feast, feast was the only way to describe it as he ate more than the three adults. Din gently lay Grogu in the small nest he made from his and Luke's cloaks, giving him a quick Kedalbe kiss before turning back to Peli and Luke.

"Here's the ones I have" Peli activated her datapad, pulling up the 'Lars' folder, she blushed slightly "look, your family and I were friends this isn't weird, I already had the photos, and yes maybe the folder, well no I made the folder after..but so what, sue me I thought you had all died so of course I made a folder-"

Luke layed a gentle hand on her arm, "I'm glad you did."

The mechanic calmed down, handing Luke the datapad, "I thought you had died too till I heard about the Death Star."

"I'm sorry. I didn't even think tha-"

"Pfsch, it's in the past and you're alive- and getting married to a good man."

Din couldn't help but feel like he was intruding on something private. He knew Peli well of course; but, this was a side she had never willingly shown him. Part of him felt like he should leave the two tatooinians to their grief; but, Luke's grasp on his hand told him he was needed, and wanted.

Luke hesitantly took Peli's datapad. For a while he just stared at the unopened folder. Din held Luke's hand tight, bringing it up to his forehead in a reassuring kiss.

A blue light filled the room as a flickering image came out of the datapad. Luke felt his heart clench as he reached towards the image.

The picture was of him clinging to Owen while Beru laughed. He couldnt have been more than three as Owen was lifting him with ease. It was the first time he'd seen them since their death, he thought he would cry; but instead he felt happy. Their lives together had been good, hard but good.

As Luke cycled through the photos he knew; they were always with him. He had felt their love over the past decade, even without seeing their faces.

"They're going to be at our wedding." He whispered.

"They always were going to be, Cyar'ika, they always are."

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give-soup-please · 2 years ago

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Rest (out of context comfort)

(When you try and write headcanons and then something else pops out. OOPSIE DOOPSIE!

Quick note. The problems presented in this fic are no one's fault. I have several issues due to my upbringing that I'm working on fixing. I don't want anyone to feel guilty for participating in what this blog does. Most days are fine, but sometimes I am more nerves than man. This is just a ventish hurt/comfort fic, not directed at anyone in particular. It's a long one, you may wish to open it in a new tab. Okay have fun!)

(Also I'll be taking tomorrow off, for personal reasons.)

“You need to rest, writer.”

I glared at him.

“This isn’t the time for stubbornness. You’ve been packing boxes for the move all day. You injured your hand because you wouldn’t stop writing. And your thoughts- your head is in such a scramble I can’t make anything out.”

I was not in the mood to hear this. I was not in the mood for gentleness, or the soft call out of someone who cared.

“Stay out of it. This isn’t your problem, it’s mine. Just- leave me alone.”

“It very much is my problem. Do you really think any of us want to stand by while someone we- when someone refuses to be kind to themselves?”

I felt my anger towards him grow. Fury boiled through me. I don’t even know why I was so upset, I just was.

“You’re a fiction. A concept.” I hissed. “You don’t belong in this world, and you have no idea what you’re talking about. Stay in your own goddamn lane.”

His voice was sharp. “Writer. Now, I can’t pretend to know what this is all about, but I do know that I won’t stand idly by and let you do this to yourself. Do you hear me? I will step in, in any way I see fit. That was part of the agreement we made. You write my words, I-”

“This is bullshit! Our agreement is over in two weeks! Why are you still here? What possible reason could you have to still stick around- when-” My breath hitched. “It’s going to end. Everything, I-”

I leaned against a box, exhausted. Sweat poured down my face, having spent most of the afternoon lifting heavy things.

“It’s all going to end. Why are you still trying to help me?”

His voice was soft. “Because you asked me to. Your request was so earnest, so polite- In the beginning- A few months ago, you wanted someone to step in. Someone who could talk to you when everyone else couldn’t, in the privacy of your own mind. We drafted that first script together, remember? It was glorious, reader-”

“I can’t keep writing for you past the deadline. I just- I can’t. The strain is so much, to be producing for others. It hurts.”

He looked at me as if I was missing something obvious. “Then write for yourself.”

“It’s not that simple! This is my job, to produce content for others. It’s why I exist, it’s what I mean to this world.”

“That’s a lie you’ve been told by people who were meant to be kinder to you. And for as many times as you ask, I’ll be here to reassure you-”

“I’m not asking! You just appeared, like you always do-”

“-Some part of you is crying out for help. This is what comfort characters do, we respond to the pain of the people who love us so dearly.”

I snarled and paced. “Even now, even now, while I’m writing to self-soothe because I can’t comfortably ask anyone to share the burden, I’m wondering if the audience will like this. I’m wondering if this will break the twenty notes mark. I am agonizing over word choice and description. I am broken, narrator. I am a machine that produces, and nothing more. You can’t fix me, no one can.”

He lurched forward, and held me tightly. I snarled again, and struggled, trying to shove him away. I pounded my fists weakly against him, trying to push back against someone I cared so much about. He took every hit, and I hated and loved him for it in equal measure.

“Listen to me. You are not broken. You have been terribly hurt, but it’s not the same thing at all. You don’t have to carry the burden alone anymore. Your friends are here for you, and when they can’t be, I will stand in their stead.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean every word of it. You are so- Completely and utterly loved. We love you because of who you are, not what you can do for us. We always did.”

“Shut up!”

“No. I will not. You need to hear this tonight, writer. I’m going to hold you close and tell you as many times as it takes.”

“Please- You can’t- I won’t let you.” My strength was starting to fail, and I leaned against him more and more. “You can’t- You can’t-”

“I can. You must be so tired. You don’t have to fight anymore. Let me carry you, until you’re ready to stand on your own again. You’ve done similarly with other characters in the past. It’s okay to ask us for help. The burden of being alive in your reality is so much-”

He leaned back a little, so I could see his face. “Did you really think we cared for you so little? Oh, writer… strong is the bond between a character and their fans. Didn't you know? You give us life, meaning… It’s only fair to return the favor and lend a hand. We would much rather you be alive and cling to us than not. It’s okay to need us, there’s nothing wrong with it at all.”

He wiped my tears away. I hadn’t even noticed I’d been shedding them.

“I’m deeply grateful to the other characters who helped you stay alive long enough to make it here. Their turn is over, and now the guardianship is mine. I will not fail you.”

“What am I going to do?” I asked. “I don’t want to give you up, but I've forgotten how to write for myself. I don’t know where to go after the end date.”

“...There are no easy answers, I’m afraid. I suggest that you take a break, a few weeks at the minimum. Then, when you’re ready, I’ll be there as your narrative guide. Honestly, I can wait. I’m sure there’s a technique to it, we just have to try and find out what it is.”

“And if I never write for you again?”

He smiled. “Really now, what do you think the chances of that are?”

I looked away, clearing my throat. “Well- you know- uh-” I shuffled my feet to ward off the excess energy.

“I meant it when I said- though I don’t remember exactly when- I’ll be here for as long as you need. My dedication to the story, to Stanley, is unwavering. It will be the same with you.”

“I don’t want to post what I write anymore, after that date.”

“That’s perfectly alright, and honestly, it might be a decent start. You’ve brought joy to others, and soon it will be time to give yourself the same. You deserve it.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

“You will, in time.”

“I’m tired.”

“Rest, dearheart.”

“...Fine. But I won’t enjoy it!” It was the last minor protest of a stubborn person.

“Oh, I intend on making you enjoy it. My narrative powers are too great for there to be any other outcome. Now…”

He cleared his throat.

“Writer then proceeded to take a shower to get the sweat off, ate a late dinner, watched an episode of his favorite television show, and went to bed after having some chamomile tea.”

I spluttered for a bit, but the grin was overtaking my face. I was caught between snarking at him and thanking him sincerely.

“You’re the best.” I said, followed by, “How dare you.”

He hummed a pleasant note. “I know I’m the best. And I dare quite easily. This is your health we’re talking about, after all. Now- Stop writing already and get to it!”

The writer snorted and wrenched himself away from his keyboard.

#the stanley parable #tsp narrator #tsp #headcanon #stanley parable #narrator #tsp narrator x reader #could be read as platonic or romantic #personal

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