#“i am not lost. can't a girl enjoy some music” “does the boyfriend know?” “i answer to no one”
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Oh mother, tell your children Not to do what I have done Spend your lives in sin and misery In the house of The Rising Sun
#okay but can we agree? House of the rising sun? beautiful amazing incredible timeless masterpiece? yeah?#all i want is to put on a cute 70s dress with the bell sleeves and some gogo boots and get my hair all pretty with the flip curls#and go to one of those really cool and dark and lowkey shady bars you see on the movies. with a pool table and a jukebox#hard-looking bartender with an impressive mustache named Mitch or Hank#and go up to the bar and he'd be like “whatya having doll?” “oh. anything sweet please”#and he hands me some soda-gin or whatever with a lemon slice. and the guy next to me notices my drink and is like#“hey Mitch. give the lady something nicer eh? maker a double from the back shelf. extra ice”#“i'm fine with this actually. i don't drink whiskey” “tonight you do sweetheart”#and he's wearing some really nice jeans and boots and a dark shirt and a leather jacket. dark hair but has some freckles. charming smile.#“what is a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this? i think them church youths go bowling next door”#“i am not lost. can't a girl enjoy some music” “does the boyfriend know?” “i answer to no one”#and he takes a long drag of his cigarette and chuckles. Mitch brings my new drink as gives him a look before drafting some beer#“so. the pretty lady likes a little danger eh?” “the lady has a name” .#i take a sip of the whiskey and try real hard not to cough. he thinks it's funny. i think he's a little cute#“does she now? and does the lady dance by any chance” and he's standing up quite tall and offers me a hand “she does”#and we go to the dance floor near the jukebox where quite a lot of people are dancing and eventually this song starts playing#and he kisses me surprisingly gentle and tastes like menthol cigarettes and hard liquors and I'm definitely a bit dizzy from the drink#he probably has a cute name like Daniel (Danny is what everyone calls him)#and maybe he has a bike or a really nice convertible. obviously red. je offers to take me home but we're just driving for a bit instead#“didn't you daddy taught not to get into stranger's cars?” “my daddy also taught me not to kiss pretty boys and yet”#“so you think i'm pretty?” “pretty enough”#and we laugh to the wind and the radio is on and this song starts playing again and it's a perfect moment#anyways. great song great band 👍#darya's mixtape#Spotify
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tagged by @youngestdaughtersyndrome and @glassangels (thank you <3333)
are you named after anyone ? yes i'm named after my nana !! (my full name is margaret hehe)
2. when was the last time you cried? a couple of weeks ago when i was saying goodbye to my cousin who moved out of state w her boyfriend so he can complete his residency for med school................. partly bc i miss her a lot but also bc i genuinely feel like i am never going to experience healthy romantic love i feel like it wasn't made for me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
3. do you have kids? does my cat count bc i raised her from a little baby kitten she was so tiny she fit in the palm of my hand :3
4. what sports do you play/have played? i was on a swim team all throughout junior high and high school and sometimes i miss just mindlessly swimming laps and getting lost in the pure muscle memory of it but then i remember getting up at 5am on saturdays to go to meets and i realize i can live without it 5. do you use sarcasm? my favorite show is daria u tell me
6. what's the first thing you notice about someone? usually eyes or clothing. living in a place where it's rare to find other ppl my age that dress "alt" i'm always looking for ppl that have interesting personal style.
7. eye color? not to be some annoying white girl on main but they change depending on what i'm wearing. they're usually either blue or gray or a teal color.
8. scary movies or happy endings? considering nothing in my life has ever worked out the way i want it to i can't relate to happy endings. almost all of my favorite films have heavy horror or psychological thriller aspects
9. any talents? i'm a pretty decent singer. i was trained classically and sang in choirs for like seven years, so i also know how to read music. other than that i think i'm really good at interior decorating or just being able to make things "aesthetically pleasing". i also think i'm a pretty good writer and that i manipulate language in a really unique form that gives way to a really clear voice in my work.
10. where were you born? simferopol, ukraine
11. hobbies? journalling, staring into the void, photographing/exploring abandoned buildings, grieving, making playlists for every emotion i've ever felt, clinging onto a past that everyone else has forgotten about except me, reading books that make me feel like i need a lobotomy, antique shopping, blackberry picking, sunbathing, being a heinous bitch
12. any pets? i have two cats (phantasma and smokey), and then my mom and sister have four dogs between the both of them so i am constantly living in autistic hell (they never stop barking and chewing up my stuff)
13. height? 5'4" (162.5cm) i'm so sorry to expose myself as Tiny i know i give off Tall Energy
14. favorite school subject? overall i'd say english but i've also thoroughly enjoyed a bunch of different courses i've taken in college like stage makeup, medieval and modern theatre, and all of my creative writing courses
15. dream job? i simply do not dream of labor but since i can only get a serotonin rush from buying clothes i don't need it would be pretty swaggy if i could be a published author or if i could work in the music industry somehow, perhaps at a radio station with my own radio show or even making my own music. i also deeply miss my job at the used bookstore i had during the worst summer of my life. something about being surrounded by books all day is so comforting.
tagging: @arunima @symptomofloves @discoidal @diabolicjoy @severrance and anyone else that wants to do this <33
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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)
— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader
— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN
— word count: 9.6k
— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-
— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)
[ part one ]
— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)
"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.
“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.
"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.
"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.
“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.
At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.
After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.
However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.
"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.
The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.
Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.
However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.
Kyoutani Kentarou.
You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.
"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"
"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.
"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.
"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.
You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.
After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.
The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.
It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.
"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.
His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.
"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."
"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.
Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.
After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.
Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.
He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.
After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).
You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.
You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.
At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.
However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.
He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.
"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.
"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.
And then realization hits you.
"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.
Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.
And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.
"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.
“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.
"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”
Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.
"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.
“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.
"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.
"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.
"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.
"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.
"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."
Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.
A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.
It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.
The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.
You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.
"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.
Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.
"But you're not good for me."
You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.
The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.
You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.
Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.
Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.
You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.
"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.
And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.
"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.
“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.
"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”
Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.
Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.
There you are, yet again.
Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.
The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.
Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.
Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.
You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.
And then it hits you.
The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.
Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.
And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.
"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.
You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.
"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.
"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”
You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.
After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.
Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.
"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.
"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.
But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.
"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”
Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.
You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.
"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.
"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."
"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.
"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”
You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.
“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.
"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”
And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.
"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.
“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"
You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."
And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.
"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.
You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.
And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.
"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.
You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.
With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.
"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”
You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.
Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.
But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.
"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.
He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.
After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.
You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.
And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.
"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.
"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.
“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.
"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.
Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.
"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.
“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.
"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.
"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.
"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."
"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"
His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.
You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.
However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.
Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.
"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.
"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.
"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.
Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.
You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.
“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.
"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.
Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.
Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.
"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.
You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.
The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.
It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.
And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.
"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.
Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.
You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.
Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.
And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.
You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.
Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.
"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.
It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.
You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.
You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.
But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.
"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.
Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.
Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.
He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.
"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.
“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.
Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.
But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.
"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.
"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.
“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.
Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.
"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.
"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.
"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.
"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.
“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.
"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.
“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.
“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”
“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.
You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.
And then he finally starts moving.
A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.
“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”
You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.
His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.
“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.
“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.
You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.
“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.
“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”
A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.
And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.
“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.
“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”
“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.
He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.
You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.
“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.
And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.
“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”
You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.
The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.
You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.
"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”
You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.
And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.
Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.
"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.
Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.
“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."
You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.
"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.
His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.
Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.
"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.
"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.
Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.
"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.
Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.
"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.
This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.
"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.
Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.
And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.
And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.
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#haikyuu smut#hq!! smut#kyoutani smut#kyoutani kentarou smut#hq smut#haikyuu!! smut#haikyuu x female reader#hq!! x female reader#kyoutani x female reader
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It's not easy having yourself a good time
we're on a double-date with other people... why are we kissing? you're not my date
Credit for prompt to
Hypnos x reader (modern!College!au)
Word count: 2.7
Warning: some dating violence on OC's side. Wrist grabbing, slurs and controlling behavior.
Summary: this was the worst date of your life. Thankfully it's also Hypnos' worst date ever.
A/N: here have this fic. I had yandere! Hypnos I was working on but it's giving me issues (it was supposed be under 1k but it keeps growing).
Also, I am open to requests but will rejected any I don't feel comfortable doing.
No beta.
Thank and I hope you enjoy.
💤☁️💤
You regret everything.
You stared at the plate of food you didn't order, some sad little salad that somehow smelled greasy.
Why did you let yourself get talked into a group date? You know why, you thought your friend was going to try to set up with your lab partner, Hypnos.
You looked at the bubbles in your sparkling water, another thing you didn't order and wondered if the person you were with would ever stop talking.
You glanced up at the group at the table. Across from you with his own date next to him, was Hypnos who was frowning at your date.
At least you had one sane classmate with you. Hypnos had been your lab partner since the first day in senior year and honestly you had thought at first your friend was setting you up with Hypnos. If you had known it was with someone else, you would have bail.
Charlie was a nice person you told yourself and your friends thought they would be great for you. Charlie was just… maybe they didn't know you don't order people's food for them.
"Look what I'm saying, Hypnos, is that maybe that YouTuber guy shouldn't be called out as much. Not his fault people can't take jokes anymore." Your date, Charlie, said loudly across the table to Hypnos who just raised a brow.
You rolled your eyes, You weren't going to let your friends pick a date for you ever again.
"Alright buddy. Whatever you say." Hypnos shrugged.
Hypnos' date and fellow classmate leaned across Hypnos, her breasts pressed against his arm. You looked away, poking at your food. You certainly were not jealous, you told yourself.
"Come on, guys. Let's talk about something else." she whined. The other two couples that came along echoed their agreement.
Hypnos grimaced and sat up taller, making the girl sit up as well. You felt kinda bad for both you and Hypnos. Clearly neither one of you guys were getting on with your dates.
You looked toward your friend, hoping she would notice how poorly everything was going. You rolled your eyes when she was clearly lost in her own world, feeding her partner french fries.
Too bad your date wasn't with Hypnos. You thought he was actually cute back when You first saw him, if not a little odd looking with white curls and heavy lidded eyes. Now, you couldn't imagine a more handsome person.
You found your eyes kept going back to him throughout dinner. Especially when he pushed his hoodie sleeves up, showing off his forearms.
The table moved on to some marvel movie or something but you were drifting in and out. You kept checking your watch in hopes that you could end the night soon without being rude.
You could feel someone was watching you and you looked up to Hypnos' golden eyes looking at you. He glanced at the group, back at you and rolled his eyes. You smiled in agreement but quickly covered it up with your hand.
Hypnos pointed toward your plate with the uneaten food, eyebrows rised in a questioning way.
You tilted your head toward your date who was loudly having another argument over some tv show with one of the guys there.
Hypnos looked at your date for a second before he sneaked you his untouched plate of pancakes.
You mouthed, 'Are you sure?' and he nodded, pointing at a plate of mostly eaten omelet.
You mouthed a quick thank you and dug in. You were half though the plate of pancakes when your date noticed.
"Wait, where did you get the pancakes?" Charlie asked, "You know how fattening all that carbs and sugar are? I like my dates to be healthy."
"What?" You asked flatly. Did you really hear what you just did? Hypnos and his date were both staring at Charlie. Hypnos looked furious and You saw the girl send you a pitying look.
"Oh. come on, you know I don't mean it like that."
You suddenly lost any appetite you had and pushed the plate of food away. You looked toward your friend who remained blissfully unaware of your pain.
Your date swung an arm on your shoulders, you sighed annoyed at the causal possiveness. You only knew them for like two hours but they were already acting like you were going steady.
"Ready to hit the club, Y/N?" Your date asked.
You almost groaned, you had forgotten about the stupid club.
"Uh, sure. Yeah." You tried to wiggle your date's arm off but no dice. You thought you saw Hypnos send a disapproving look at your date but you weren't sure. No point getting your hopes up.
As you exited the diner, Hypnos tripped; knocking into your date and their arms off your shoulders.
Grateful for the excuse, you took a few steps out of their reach.
"Oops, my bad." Hypnos smiled widely, and gave a shoulder pat to your date who glared at him. "Just watch it alright?" Your date snapped as they made it to the carpool.
In the car, you peeked at Hypnos who just winked at you. You didn't hide your smile this time.
The club did nothing to improve your date or your mood. The loud bassy music was almost too loud to hear anyone and your date kept trying to get you to stay on the dance floor.
You were able to duck out of their hold and pointed to the table. They tried to tell you something but You didn't stick around.
You almost fell into the booth, your feet were throbbing and you just wanted to go home. You could just see your homework growing by the hour.
"Need water?" Hypnos asked. You looked up, "Oh I didn't know you were at the table. Yes please."
He handed you an icy cold bottle and you moaned at how good it tasted. He laughed and you blushed, feeling foolish.
"Sorry, thank you." You took a slip, without moaning this time thankfully.
Hypnos went back to his phone, fingers moving quickly. "No problem."
"Where is… um what was her name?" You asked, trying not to look at Hypnos too much. How dare he look this good in the club' dim lighting.
"Oh I forgot her name. But she is doing fine. Told me she was going home with her ex." He pointed to the dance floor where the girl was dancing against another guy, their mouths glued together.
You looked back at him, but he already was back to texting on his phone. He didn't seem upset at all.
"I'm sorry, Hypnos." You said awkwardly, not sure of what to make of this whole night.
"Don't be. I'm not." He shrugged. You couldn't help but notice how nicely the red hoodie fit him.
"I will admit though I don't think I will be trusting our friend's matchmaking skills after tonight." Hypnos looked at you, his amused smile made you smile in return.
"You and I both." You murmured your agreement.
You finished off your drink, eyeing him.
After a few more minutes, your willpower broke.
"Okay I gotta know. It has been months since I met you and it is bugging the crap out of me." You leaned forward to him.
He looked up from his phone, a white eyebrow raised.
"Is Hypnos your real name?" You asked him, not quite able to look away from him. You were being a silly school girl and you knew it.
He laughed, "Yeah, it is." He moved closer, his eyes bright. "Wanna know why?"
At your nod, he spoke. "When my mom was pregnant with me and my brother. She got kinda crunchy, got into healing crystals and tarot cards, stuff like that."
Hypnos waved a hand. "So when she couldn't pick names for us, she went to a psychic, who told her that she was a reincarnation of the goddess Nyx. And apparently she was pregnant again with the reincarnated gods of sleep and death."
You couldn't help the small laugh and Hypnos chuckled as he took a sip of his beer.
"Mom believed the guy." He pointed to himself, " So ta-da I got named Hypnos. And my brother is Thanatos."
"Your mom sounds like a fun lady." You played with your hair, enjoying the warmth in your stomach. You couldn't remember the last time someone made you feel such things.
"Oh definitely. I never know what I'm going to get when I see her." Hypnos said fondly.
When You shifted your seat, your leg brushed against his. You almost pulled away but Hypnos pressed his leg against yours. You could feel the heat of his body and it just made you want more.
His golden eyes searched yours, silently asking if he could do this. You returned the gentle pressure and flushed at his soft smile.
"How does your brother handle the whole Thanos name thing?" You asked, desperately trying to calm your racing heart.
A devious glint lit Hypnos' eyes, "Oh he hates it so much. He already hated the whole super hero thing. Last year for his birthday, I got him a cardboard cutout of the big guy. I thought he was going to shove it down my throat. I got his boyfriend Zagreus and their girlfriend Meg in on it this year, we going to -"
"Hey Y/N. Are you coming back to the floor?" Charlie's eyes narrowed, "Hypnos, I think your actual date is looking for you."
You pulled away, you had forgotten about Charlie and you couldn't help but feel some guilt, even if you didn't like them that much or at all.
Hypnos stayed in place, amusement on his face. You saw Charlie's fists clenched and knew they were about to start a fight and stood up.
You were definitely going to block Charlie's number after tonight was over.
"Come on, let's get some drinks for everyone. They should be coming back soon." You motioned for Charlie to follow you. They glared at Hypnos before following you.
You couldn't resist a quick glance back to Hypnos, who raised his beer at you in a 'cheers' motion.
💤☁️💤
Charlie was sullen and quiet as you ordered more drinks for the group. You couldn't blame them really, anyone would be put out when their dates are clearly having a better time with someone else.
Well, not Hypnos but Hypnos wasn't exactly normal, you thought fondly.
You tapped the bar, guilt gnawed at your guts as your thoughts went back to Hypnos.
"So what were you guys talking about?" Charlie slurred, his tone icy.
You took a breath, just a few more hours you reminded yourself. "Nothing much. Just about his brothers and stuff."
Charlie crowded into your space. You can smell the booze and sweat on them.
"You guys seemed like you were sitting pretty close considering you were talking about 'brothers'." They did a finger quote.
You rolled your eyes, unable to stand being near them any longer. You stepped away to head back to let your friends you were bailing for the night.
"Tell me what he said to you." Charlie demanded as they grabbed your wrist harshly.
"Ow, let go of me! You are hurting me, Charlie." You hissed, trying not to draw any attention.
"Tell me." They hisses back.
"I did. Buy your own drink, I'm going home." You tried to yank your hand away but they didn't let go.
"Look I've been nothing but nice to you and you're cuddling up to another guy on our date like some slut." They changed their tone, trying to sound more upset than controlling but it just made your stomach twisted in disgust.
You opened your mouth to defend yourself but after a moment you shut it, "You're right. Clearly this isn't going to work out so let me go."
"No, you own me something, Y/N." Charlie leaned toward you. "And I'm not leaving empty handed."
"Fuck off." You snapped, fear rising in your chest.
"Hey, man." Hypnos grabbed Charlie's wrist and squeezed tightly enough that they were forced to let go of your wrist. His normal light-hearted tone was hard. "I think Y/N had enough of your company tonight."
You took some steps back, shaking a little. Without looking at you, Hypnos asked. "Y/N, do you need to go get anything?"
"N-no. I have everything. I want to leave." You hated how weak you sounded and you wished that you never came out at all.
Hypnos held on to Charlie's wrist and yanked them toward him. You heard Hypnos murmur something to them.
Fear flashed over Charlie's face and they stumbled backward. "Fine. Whatever asshole."
Hypnos turned to you, his eyes darkened by his anger. "Come on, I can get you a ride home."
You just nodded, feeling very exhausted and close to tears.
💤☁️💤
The cold wind felt like heaven after the heat of the overflowing club. At least for the first two minutes.
You just walked, not quite sure where to go. Hypnos walked next to you, easily keeping up with your pace.
Neither one of you said anything as you tried to process the horrible night.
After walking for ten more minutes, Hypnos spoke up. "There is a park nearby, we should be able to find a park bench."
You just nodded, Hypnos offered an arm and after a moment you took it. You pressed your cheek against his shoulder, soaking in his body heat.
The park was empty, lit by warm path lights.
"Thank you." You said. "You didn't have to do anything for me."
"It's all good. How about the wrist?" Hypnos asked softly.
"It doesn't hurt. Thank you since you stepped in." You patted his forearm.
Hypnos sighed, "No. Not thanks to me actually. Its kinda my fault, I've been pushing their buttons for most of the night."
You looked up at Hypnos, your brow furrowed. "What? No, they have been pretty rude since the start of the date. I mean, you heard the salad thing. They ordered it for me!"
Hypnos shook his head. His breath coming out in white puffs. "Yeah and because I was jealous, I made a bad date into a nightmare. I knew I was making them feel all threatened, it wasn't hard honestly. I didn't think they would grab you like that. I just thought they would be a bad date you could laugh about later."
It took you a moment to process his words. You stopped on the park path, staring off at the lake.
"You were jealous?" You asked, not quite believing what you were hearing.
"Very." Hypnos chuckled bitterly.
"Hypnos, you are an idiot." You said blankly.
He opened his mouth to say something but you pulled him down by his collar to kiss him.
At first, Hypnos doesn't return your kiss and you pull away, an apology already on your lips.
But he cupped your face and met you again in a sweet, slow kiss. He kept pulling away to press chaste kisses against your lips and cheeks.
"Damnit, I was planning on asking out you after our last class assignment. I had a plan for everything. I was going to take you to your favorite coffee shop and buy you that dumb drink you like. Take you the park by our dorms and ask you by the duck pond." Hypnos said between kisses and pressing one last long kiss against your lips.
You hummed, unable to think straight. "Our friend ruined that, huh." You laughed when you could feel him growled against your lips. "You have no idea, I had a speech and everything."
After another long and soft kiss, both of you pulled away only to met again in a forehead press. Your white puffs of breath mingled together and your heart felt so full.
"You could still do the coffee and the speech. And the ducks." You whispered.
"Yeah?" Hypnos asked softly, his thumb caressed your cheek.
"I have to do a lab with a very cute classmate tomorrow but I'm free after that." You flushed, pleased at the fond smile Hypnos had.
"That's funny, so am I." Hypnos replied.
Unable to hold off any longer, you pulled him into another kiss, one of the many yet to come.
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Still want you - JJ MAYBANK X READER
hello loves
you can call me Den and this is my first JJ Maybank fic and god how much i enjoyed to write it!!i hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.
also i got inspired to write this by the song named “Still want you” by ZHU. I think the lyrics really match JJ in the show as well and i love it
i really wanna hear your true opinion on it or you can send me requests because i will def write them as soon as i can!!
xx
"I should be so hurt
'Cause your rejection is so obvious..."
You walk down the beach, waching the big waves and John B and JJ riding them with laughs imprinted on their stupid faces you love so much. Kie and Sarah are there as well, standing on the hot sand with their swimsuits on, so as you approach them you take off your shirt and short pants, doing the same with your pair of black Vans. You glared at your boyfriend, but he seemed like he didn't was aware of your presence yet. He was laughing, standing on the surf board and getting lost into the waves, his wet blonde hair a mess on his head. You were staring, but you just couldn't help yourself. After a year of friendship and three months of relationship, he still have the power to leave you speechless with how amazing he is.
"Stop drolling, [Y/N]" Kie says laughing and you and Sarah imediatelly laugh with her, you having a bashful smile on your pink lips as you push a piece of hair behind your ear. You fell really damn hard for JJ Maybank.
While you were talking with the girls about the turtles and saving them after the hurricane from three days ago, John B and JJ got out of the water and approached you. But you frown in surprise and confusion as you send JJ a big ass smile, excited to finally have his presence next to you and he only waved at you, walking right into the Chateau after.
"What's wrong with him?" Sarah asked with a frown and you don't know what to say. You just let your fingers into sand and looked away from their confused glares. You are just as confused as they are.
"I wish I would know too.."
"John B?" Kie says with a raising eyebrow, looking at the boy who was surprisingly silent.
He just shrug while pulling Sarah closer to his wet body.
"Hey, don't look at me like that! don't know anything."
You didn't really trusted him, but you tried to ignore the knot that is growing inside your stomach.
"It's just a JJ thing. He will come around, don't worry [Y/N]."
But how could you? How could you not worry about JJ when that's your job? Taking care of his impulsive ass.
"Damn, who pissed in JJ's bong?" Pope asked with a frown as he approached you and the Pogues laughed a bit. He was just walking out of the Chateau and JJ didn't even saw him, almost catching him between the door and the wall.
You wanted to laugh too and you tried to, but it seemed so fake.
"And I feel stupid and I cry
And I cry and I cry and I cry..."
Days later, JJ's mood became something more than that. He was avoiding you and everyone saw it. The pogues keep telling you to have no worries, that this is something he always does and it was partially true. He has days once in a while, usually after going home, when he get really moody and his temper is shorter than usual, but back then he was never cold and indifferent towards you and the Pogues. He was still your funny and warm JJ, but just a little more angry which always excited you, especially when you were alone. But now it was different and you just couldn't stay like this anymore. The knot in your stomach is so big now that you have breathing issues everytime you see him leaving the Chateau as soon as you walk in.
But today you gonna talk. You didn't care, not even another hurricane would stop you from it.
The Pogues were out on a double date, which should involve you and JJ too, but apparently you don't act like a couple anymore. You guess that was his way of telling you to fuck off, but it hurt even more than actually hearing it from him.
"Do we have any food left?" He ask as he walks into the Chateau, thinking that he's talking with John B.
"Yea, some cold pizza." You say with a stern voice and you put your arms at your chest, watching him. You can't really read his face when he saw you, but clearly it wasn't happiness. He groaned and turned around to walk out, you stopping him by grabbing his arm.
"JJ, what the fuck? Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Nah, you're pretty smart actually." He simply says and shrug while walking into the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking for that pizza you were talking about.
You can't believe how ignorant he was. It drives you insane, but you tried your best to remain calm.
"Why are you treating me like this? Like shit?"
"I'm not, that's who I am. The door is right there if you don't like it, princess."
You shut your eyes and look at him, falling apart on the inside as you still try to look calm on the outside. He wasn't seeing your face as he was still turned to the fridge, but you're sure that he knows what he's doing to you right now. Calling you "princess" wasn't a compliment or a joke as he used to. It was a insult. Reminding you that you are not one of them and you will never be.
"What? JJ...What the fuck? Why-Why are you doing this to me?" You don't even try to hide your tears as it filled your eyes, blurring your vision of him when he turned to you.
"Don't start with emotional shits now, okay? How long have we been together anyway? 3 weeks? Not a big deal." He grabbed a beer instead of any food and walked past you, but you move in front of him, not letting him go away from you again.
"Stop fucking lying and acting like this! This is not you, J...You love me and I know it. This is not you, baby. Just talk to me..." Your voice crack while you screamed with tears wetting your cheeks and chin. You realizing that he's lying to you because he was always excited to remaind you how long you made it together. And hearing that it wasn't a big deal when you gave him your virginity, broke your heart in your chest in tiny pieces that stabbed your lungs, your everything, ripping you apart on the inside.
You gasp for air, not able to control yourself anymore and he throws the beer can into the door, spilling it everywhere. His whole body was tensed, his jawline and fists clenched. This was the most of emotions he had show to you in the last week.
"You're just a kook, a spoiled daddy's girl, how can you truly know who I am? You don't know shit about me and my life, [Y/N]" He screams in your face and you're whole body is shacking in pain, but you don't take any step back. You're stunned.
"Cause you're not tellin me shit, JJ! You're not telling me anything and you fucking expect me to understand you. I may not be one of you and you will never find enough in me, but I'm trying my best for fucks sake! How can I do that when I don't even...."
You shut your mouth, watching his face as you wipped your tears away. Inside of him there was a storm that was ripping apart every piece of him because of hurting you right now. But he just can't help it. People always leave and especially when you are rich as fuck and you have a lot more opportunites than a stupid Pogue. Why woud you stay? For what?
"You don't even what?" He asks with a lower voice and you let out another sob, glaring right into his blue icy eyes as you talk.
"Maybe you're true. Maybe I don't know how you are at all."
"Yea" He just nods his head and his wet eyes followed your body as you walked out of the Chateau, your hand covering your mouth to shut down the scream that you need to let it out.
You got into your car and you let your head on the steering wheel as you cry in silence, hearing the waves and the loud rock music that was coming from the Chateau.
How could you be this stupid? You really did believe that things will work out for you, you got along so well and you put your whole heart on the table. For him to just throw the fucking table away.
"But then I tell myself that it will be okay
But it's not true, I still want you..."
You forgot how going out felt like.
After almost a month of not leaving your house at all, you finally accepted to go to the beach party tonight. But you didn't wanted to go with Kie and Sarah since you know they will hang out with JJ as well, so you just went with the Kooks, some of your girl friends from high school.
You keeping telling yourself that you will be fine to see him again. That you have to show him how okay you are after he broke your stupid heart. But finally seeing him at the bonfire caught you off guards and your eyes became wet. You can feel his glare on you and when you finally have the courage to make eye contact with him, you need all the strength you find in yourself to keep your calm.
He looked just as bad as you, but he was still breathtakingly handsome. Even with dark circle around his eyes, a little beard growing and bloodshot tired eyes. He wasn't joking or laughing with the others, he wasn't flirting with the Tourons around him. He wasn't JJ and you weren't yourself. You couldn't be without each other and when he sent you a little sad smile you know he realized it too.
It's weird that after breaking your heart and calling you out without even a damn reason, you still find yourself wanting him. Your body and your heart still ache for him and his touch.
"Lately, I've been thinking about
All the things that we've been through... "
You got up from Jessica to go to fill your cup again. Drinking makes you feel a little better and this month you really took advantage of that, drowing the memories and feelings with fancy wines and champagnes, not even trying to hide that from your father.
You almost scream when a firmly hand is placed on your mouth and pull you more into the woods. You know who this is without turning around.
"You scared the shit outta me...Stop doing that" You talk like you were cool again and you both realized that, your uncomfortable smiles showing it. He scratch the back of his neck as he put a few meters between you two. You felt that right into your heart, but he was just doing it because he know that he's not really able to control himself around you.
"How are you?" He asks and you roll your eyes.
"This is what we gonna have now? Small talks?"
"I just wanna know if you are doing well, [Y/N]."
You want to say yes. But he raise his eyebrows at you, watching you with his clear eyes. Their color is darker now because the weak light only coming from the moon, but you know his features way too well. You used to admire and analyze him every morning when you woke up first on the couch at the Chateau. That became JJ's room and then you and JJ's room. You didn't have much, but you were beyond happy.
"No, J. I'm not."
"Lately, I regret all the fucked up
Things that I've put you throug..."
He is looking like he's thinking really hard at something and you give him some time. You both remaining quiet for some moments, still hearing music, laughs and screams from the beach party.
"[Y/N] I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I had to. But...I-I don't think I can go on without you there, princess."
You shut your eyes at the nickname. He used it again and this time it wasn't a insult like the last time.
"Why-Why did you do it?"
He hesitated, but your wet eyes are locking with his and he knows that he can't get away with it anymore.
"Your father talked to me. He told me that if I keep the relationship with you, you won't be going to college. That he will get you out in the street." You can see the pain on his face as your own changed from the pain of hearing that.
Your own father did that...
You thought about ending your life and all of that because your father.
You let out a loud sob as you ran into his strong warm arms, him quickly grabbing you. He's holding your face at the crook of his neck as you keep crying and screaming that you can't believe that.
"I couldn't destroy your future. You wanna go to the college. I don't-...I can't ruin that for you."
You bit on your lip as tears fall on the hot skin of his neck. You close your eyes, slowly being calmed down by his presence, by the warmth of his body and his touches on your skin. You lift your head and he leans his head closer to yours, your foreheads pressed together as you whispered with your eyes now open and partially dry.
"I guess you will have a rommate at the Chateau. If that's okay..."
"W-what?"
"Still tryna learn to be personal
Still uncomfortable being me
Still tryna learn to be vulnerable..."
"Yea, if that's okay...You're more important than a stupid college, JJ."
His warms wraps around your waist, keeping you close to him and locking your eyes together. You gently touch his dark circle with the tip of your fingers and you slowly and softly kiss them, your hands running through his hair.
"I don't wanna ruin your future, [Y/N]..Mine is ruined. If I would do that to yours, I wouldn't be able to ever forgive myself."
"You won't, baby stop saying that. What if-What if I will work at The Wreck? Kie won't mind that."
He looked away for a few short moments and then softly kiss the top of your freckled nose.
"We will see that, sweet thing." A smile is slowly playing on his plump lips and you want so bad to kiss him right now, but there's still is one important thing.
"But you have to talk to me, JJ. We-...We can't have a relationship when we aren't open up to each other."
"I hate being-...Being vulnerable and emotional."
You whisper "i know" but you can't keep your smile for yourself only. You look at him with pure adoration and love.
"But I swear I will try for you."
Your heart and legs melt at his words and you pull him to your lips but he talks again, barely touching your lips with his.
"I would give you all I have, [Y/N]. All just to see you happy."
You bring him into the kiss, your tongue quickly meeting his and as you slowly tasted each other, the knot in your stomach is long gone. You smile into the kiss because you know that he would really do anything for your happiness and he just proved that by breaking his own heart to hurt you.
#jj maybank imagines#jj maybank#jj imagine#jj mayback x reader#outer banks#obx imagine#obx fic#obx netflix#rudy pankow imagines#rudy pankow#rudy obx#rudy#kooks vs pogues#outer banks pogues#the pogues#pogues#jj x reader#reader x jj maybank
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Naive
Ray Blackwell x M!Reader
Summary: An invitation at a party reveals that Luka had no idea you’re gay, and brings up a concern you hadn’t had before. Tags: Crack, fluff, secret relationship, mention of homophobia, alcohol consumption A/N: This is based on a dream I had where Luka and I had this exact conversation and when I woke up and remembered it I nearly threw up laughing. I did actual research for the girls outfit and hair bc im a fashion history nerd. the pocket watch i just thought was cute. Fenrir calls the reader fruity but its okay bc hes gay too god bless Word Count: 1.5k
The party was the usual affair expected of the Godspeed's, an air of elegance- present but not too overbearing- hanging over the large hall. Music drifted gently to your ears as you took everything in, a small smile settling on your face.
You couldn't help but feel a little underdressed. The officers had, of course, kept their uniforms on, but everyone else present was dressed to the nines. You'd thought the suit you wore was lovely when you and Seth had seen it last week, dark blue with a white trim, paired with a pale cyan tie and pocket square. The gold watch that settled comfortably in your pocket had been a gift from Blanc, supposedly made by Oliver to look similar to his own, to commemorate your decision to stay in Cradle. Compared to everyone else, it felt rather simple now, but you pushed the thought aside. Nobody was judging what you were wearing, they were here to enjoy themselves same as you.
"Would you like a drink?" Ray asked, voice soft enough not to startle you too much. This wasn't too effective, as you'd gotten lost in your thoughts, and sort of forgotten there were people around you, but it was kind of him to try. "Oh, yes, please." You smiled at him and a moment later he'd walked off, talking to Sirius about something, leaving you alone with Luka. Fenrir had disappeared to greet his family when you'd first arrived, and Seth was who knows where, but you didn't mind it being just the two of you. Luka rarely came to these, in fact this was the first he'd been to since you'd arrived in Cradle, despite it being your fifth, and you decided someone should stick with him so he didn't feel quite as nervous.
As you turned to say something to him, you noticed a lady making her way over to the both of you, looking rather flustered. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and she seemed to be muttering something to herself, but it was clear she had intent to speak to one of you. Perhaps she wanted to talk to Luka? He was cute, it wouldn't surprise you. What did surprise you, however, was when she walked up to you instead.
"Um, excuse me if this is far too forward, but... would you be interested in dancing with me?" She sounded so nervous, and you almost wanted to say yes. Any other man would have been lucky to get such an invitation- she looked stunning. She wore her hair in curls, gathered at the back of her neck, with a hairpiece of pale blue flowers was pinned at the front, a necklace donning the same type of flower hanging just above the neckline of her gown. The gown in question matched the colour of the flowers well, though the width of the crinoline supported skirt would have made you concerned about the logistics of dancing with her- if you'd had any intention of saying yes. Her cheeks were tinted pink as she chewed her bottom lip and waited for your answer, avoiding your gaze. A hand on your chest and a sincerely apologetic look on your face, you began to respond. "Oh dear. I'm terribly sorry, but you seem to have gotten the wrong end of the stick. You're a very attractive young lady but I'm afraid... how should I put this," You glanced at Luka for help, but he seemed to have no idea what you were trying to tell her, "I'm afraid I don't tend to set my eye on the ladies, so to speak." "You're... gay?" A sympathetic nod. "That's the ticket. Sorry, love." "Oh, it's not a problem! I'm really sorry to have bothered you!" She suddenly looked much less nervous, though a little embarrassed, and scurried off. You sighed. "I feel a little bad. I really hope she finds someone to dance with." Luka looked at you quizzically. "Why did you lie to her?" A confused laugh escaped you. "I'm sorry?" "You told her you were into guys. Why lie?" As he said this, Seth and Fenrir came up behind him, and hearing his question their eyebrows shot up. So did yours. Was he kidding? "Luka, sweetie, you have got to tell me what part of my personality made you think I was heterosexual, so I can set about changing it immediately." Seth choked on his drink, and though you flashed him a grin, you weren't entirely kidding. Going from Victorian London to a world where being gay was perfectly acceptable had been quite the change, but you'd been certain all of your friends had known. It's not like you were quiet about it, and sure, Luka was naive but... come on, now. "Wait are you... you were being honest?" "Yes?" "Luka," Fenrir began, stepping next to you and resting an elbow on your shoulder, "How have you seriously not noticed that he's gay yet?" "Well- there was no reason for me to assume!" "You watched me drunk make out with at least 2 different Black Army soldiers in my first month here!" Luka looked flustered, and utterly dumbfounded. The expression was one he wore often, usually when people insinuated that someone was in love- but somehow about five times more confused. He was unfortunate enough that Ray and Sirius returned at this moment, just in time to hear both your last remark, and his next one.
"I thought that was just something you did when you were drunk?" In another moment you were on your knees, legs shaking so much from laughter that you couldn't hold yourself up any longer. Fenrir was right there beside you, practically convulsing. Everyone else was laughing too- except poor Luka. You felt a little bad, truly you did, but this had to be the funniest thing you had ever heard. "He's completely straight, but watch out! Get a couple drinks in him and he turns fruity!" Fenrir managed to get out between cackles, and Ray was glad to have put your drinks down when Luka had last spoken, because he too nearly fell to the ground at this.
"Luka- Luka I'm sorry." You pulled yourself to your feet, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "We aren't laughing at you." Another fit of giggles overcame you. "Okay we kind of are, but it's not malicious or anything. That was just... hands down the funniest thing you've ever said." It took most of you 5 or so minutes to fully calm down from what he'd said, and anything that jogged your memories of it would bring you back to a state of uncontrollable laughter for the rest of the night. Luka came round to it being pretty funny after you talked him through the dozens of times you'd mentioned your sexuality to him since you'd met- every one of which had gone over his head.
Hours after the party had worn down and you'd all made your way home, you lay in bed, your head pressed against a familiar chest, and sighed. "What's up?" "I just... D'you think anyone else just hasn't realised?" Ray cocked his head, confused. "I'm gonna need a little more info than that, kitten." "I suppose I just... Back in London, it's not even legal to be gay, and I don't know if it ever will be. When I first came out to Fen, he told me that it was fine here, accepted and even celebrated. So, I guess I just thought that people wouldn't make the automatic assumption that I'm straight, y'know? I mean I talk about it a lot among you guys but- when I’m out and about... where do people think my final destination is? When I pick up a silly cat themed gift for you does the shopkeep think I’m buying it for my wife? It shouldn't be a big deal, I guess, but I'd never been able to be myself until I came here, and now it's like I can be me but... people will still only see who I am if I tell them. It's just weird is all. I dunno. Maybe I'm drunk." "You're not drunk. It's an understandable concern. I guess I've never thought about it, because whether or not people would accept that part of me has never been an issue, but the fact that you've had to hide it for so long and now that you're able to be open people still aren't seeing it must be hard. If you want we could... come out, so to speak?" Your eyebrows raised, and you moved back, propping yourself up on your arm so you could look your partner in the eyes.
It had been decided at the very start of your relationship, which had officially begun a few months after you'd made the choice to stay in Cradle, that the two of you would keep it under wraps for a while. Being from the Land of Reason was more than enough reason for people to take an unwanted interest in you, and you didn't need the extra attention being the King of Spades' partner would garner. Plus, anyone with a grudge against Ray would see you as a target the second you announced it. It had been a sensible suggestion on his part, one you hadn't hesitated to agree to, and as far as you knew only Sirius and Fenrir knew about your relationship. Fenrir because he had walked in on you sitting in Ray's lap while he worked late one night, and Sirius because- well, can anything get past that guy? And now, Ray was offering to tell the entirety of Cradle you were his, just so that you didn't feel like you were hiding your identity anymore? You could feel your eyes starting to burn, and you cursed the late hour and the alcohol in your system for making you cry so easily, but... "I don't think we need to be that drastic. You were right when you said it would keep me safe for us to not be in the public eye, at least for now. I'm sure Seth can come up with some better way for me to tell the whole world I'm gay." "I don't doubt that at all." Ray grinned, placing a gentle kiss on first your forehead, then your nose, and finally on your lips. "Tomorrow, though. You need your beauty sleep." "Ah, yeah, can't risk getting ugly. My boyfriend might not want me anymore." You quipped. "Exactly." He smirked at you, turning out the light and pulling you into his arms.
#🌙. by me#new fandom lads lets go!#i had a migraine earlier and now i cant remember how i tag fics help#ikemen revolution#ikerev#ikerev x reader#ikemen revolution x reader#ikerev x mc#ikemen revolution x mc#ray blackwell#ray blackwell x reader#ray blackwell x mc#☆ ikerev#♥️; ray blackwell
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LIGHT IT UP
Nestor Oceteva x Reader
Anon asked: What about rough sex with Nestor in Miguel’s house? He makes you stay quiet and fucks you in the bathroom because he couldn’t wait to get you homeee ahhhh i love nestor
Word Count: 1.9k
Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘
Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.
Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)
Taking a last look in the mirror, turning on the high-heels, you sigh. You're pretty nervous 'cause finally Nestor is gonna introduce you to his boss, and also his best friend, Miguel. You want to make a good impression and you're not sure about the dress you chose, but you don't have time to change your outfit. So, going downstairs with shaky hands, you find your boyfriend waiting for you at the hall. He looks at you from top to down. Hundred times. You're doubting.
“What? Is that bad?” You ask with trembling voice.
Looking down and moving the skirt, you raise your gaze at him. The golden and sparkle dress is falling on you like a cascade with a pronounced neckline and bare back, with your long and curly hair place on it. You know it was a bad idea dressing something like that, but guessing that being Miguel's birthday the assistant should be ‘important’ people. Nestor doesn't say anything, till you're about to talk.
“You're fuckin' stunning”. He says walking towards you, holding and lifting one of your hand to make you go a full turn. “You're fuckin' beautiful, baby”.
His words makes you smile, leaning closer to kiss him softly. Offering you an arm, and taking it, he guides you to the car opening you the door. Even if he does what he does, when you two are together his attitude changes completely. You have seen him working, more or less, escorting Miguel's wife or his mother, and he looks so serious that sometimes surprises you when he laughs watching some tv-show with you lying on the sofa.
Placing one hand on your leg, Nestor drives to the luxurious house of the boss Cartel, knowing the road by heart. Some music is playing in the car, trying to focus your mind on the lyrics, so you don't think about Miguel believing you're not enough for his brother.
“He will loves you”. He says, staring at you for a second. “And if he doesn't do, I love you and that's all it matters”.
You nod biting your inner lip, before licking it feeling somewhat relaxed, putting a hand on his nape to leave some caresses. You love him too, since the first moment you met. And your parents do too. They're delighted with Nestor.
Some minutes after, you finally arrive to the house, decorated according to the celebration, with a lot of people reunited at the entrance next to their own cars. Porsche, Maserati, BMW (...). God, you're enjoying the views as the good mechanic you are. It's like if you were a child on a candy store. Your boyfriend parks next to a black Cadillac, walking faster to your door so he can helps you to go out of it. Then he guides you to the front door, being greeted by some men, recognizing them as politician. Shit, your legs are shaking.
“Brother!” Miguel walks towards you, hugging him and palming his back very lively.
“Are you already drunk, Mikey?” He laughs loud, infesting the older.
“No, not yet!” He shakes his head before turning to you. “Man, you won the lottery or something like, ah? Miguel Galindo, a pleasure”.
The boss Cartel holds your hand, pressing his lips on the back.
“Finally we meet”. He says then.
“Yeah, ahm... (Y/N), a pleasure too. Nestor talks a lot about you”. You reply with a kindly smile on your lips.
“I hope only good things”.
“I actually told her you're a pain in the ass”.
“My father used to say the same, but here I am!” He laughs. And you're sure he's a little drunk. “Let's have a drink. I'm gonna introduce you to my lovely wife”.
You nod whilst Nestor tangles your fingers with yours, leaving a kiss on your cheek. It isn't that bad as you thought. Till a blonde woman hugs your man so dearly that makes you feel jealous. Just a little.
“Hi! I'm Emily!” Now, you feel stupid when she hugs you too so happy to meet you. “So you're the one who stole Nestor' heart... I understand him”.
“Yes, more or less”. You chuckles, supporting your temple against his shoulder for a second.
“She's my wife”. Miguel says then, giving her a gently kiss.
“Come with me, it's kinda boring when they talk about business, even if they're not working”. Poisoned words covered by a friendly smile.
The woman grabs your hand, saying ‘bye’ with the other whilst she walks towards the swimming pool outside, having a seat on the garden sofa. Your gaze is traveling all around the place, really surprised about how huge the house is. You're sure you could get lost inside it. Miguel's wife serves you a glass of red wine, offering it with a smile.
“I was lookin' forward to meet you”. She says then.
“Yeah, me too. Nestor talks about you sometimes and I think we're similar”.
“Right? I told him!” You can't help but laugh cheering with both wines.
“It's good to have someone with I can complain about him”. Emily nods and laugh again because of your words.
“Yes... I feel you. Sometimes Miguel drives me crazy and not in the way I would enjoy it”. She says rolling his eyes and rubbing his forearm. “By the way, your dress is amazing. Where did you buy it?”
“Oh, ahm... My mom did it. It's her job”. You answer looking down for a second, before have a sip of the wine. “Don't you... think is ‘too much’? I was nervous about meeting ‘Nestor brother’”.
“What? Oh, no, no. It's perfect. And about my husband, you don't have to worry about. He gives an impression that it really is not”.
┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅
You're not sure how much time has passed by, nor how much wine you have drunk talking with Emily between laughs and complainings, when both men going outside have a seat next to you two.
“Having fun, uh?” Miguel asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep”. You nod, looking at your boyfriend with a goofy smile.
“I need to talk' you”. He whispers on your ear, making feel nervous from nowhere. He looks serious and it's not a good omen.
So, leaving your glass on the table and getting up holding his arm, you say goodbye for a few minutes. Crossing the big door to inside, you walk through the assistants worried and thinking that maybe Miguel said something about you. Now, you're about to cry making your own guesses in silence. Going upstairs, Nestor opens the door of a bathroom letting you come in.
“It's... everything ok? I'm sorry if I said som—”.
Before you're allowed to finish the sentence, he kisses you. You breathe heavy surrounding his neck with both arms, while he pushes you to the counter lifting you on.
“You scared me, asshole...” You grumble against his mouth.
“Yea', I know, it was kinda fun...” He laughs raising the skirt of your dress, nailing his hands tightly on your skin, touring your thighs till he finds the waistband of your panties.
“Nestor, they will hear us”. You try to say, with your hands moving faster to unzip the black pants of the suit.
“That's the game, babe. You have to be silent”. You know you can't. Not with him. Your boyfriend knows every weak point of your body, and how to push you to the sky. “Shit... It's 'cause you look so fuckin' hot I can't control myself”.
His lips travel to your neck, biting and sucking your skin being careful to not draw any bruise on it. You know how passionate he can be sometimes, and you always enjoy it, but you're ashamed of thinking that someone could hear you. He doesn't care. Not at all. And he's pretty hard when he spreads your legs to place his body into them.
“Let's see if you can be silent”. Nestor says challenging you with his gaze, pounding you with all his strength.
You're faster, covering your mouth with a hand and closing hard your eyes, containing a loud moan. You wrap his waist with both legs, pushing him deeper hitting your wetness once and again with the same pressure.
“Shit, babe... I love your pussy... It's so fuckin' tight, so fuckin' damp, my love...”. He gasps on your ear, drowning there his own growls.
“It's all yours, papi”. You say then, looking for his lips to sink your tongue between them till you find his.
It's a easy way to drown your moans and your curses, with every stroke making you squirm on his arms. The kiss goes filthy and rampant, heating your whole body and bristling your skin. You love him. So much. And even if sex it's not more important than that, he makes you feel you're in heaven with every hit rubbing your clit. The only thing you expect is that he doesn't ruin your outfit or it's gonna be even more embarrassing.
“Fuc'me harder, Nestor...” You beg almost huffing, knowing that you're close.
Wrapping tightly your legs and pushing him into you when he pounds you, drowning all your moans with your face sink on his neck, your boyfriend takes it as a command. He doesn't stop and he's not gonna do it till make you cum on his hard cock, making him feel proud to please you.
“My baby girl...” He groans chuckling, biting his neck softly as you can keep silent when you hear some steps outside walking closer.
You have to cover your mouth at the exact moment your body find the ecstasy, with his name stuck in your lips. It feels amazing. You kiss him, silencing some sobs of pleasure before he pull himself out, complaining about it.
“Kneel, my love”. He asks you, helping you to go down as he wants.
With a naughty smile on your face and letting him place his hands on your head, you leave a long lick with the toe of your tongue all over his cock, covered by your own taste. He pushes it into your mouth, groaning because of your warm breath wrapping his hardness. Nestor sets the pace, fucking your mouth with his head tilted back slightly. He thrusts your throat, keeping his glans pressing it for a second, before continue hitting it.
“You're like a fuckin' fantasy, holy fuck...” He mutters as he can, trying not to talk loud.
He fills your mouth without expecting, with a soft contained growl whilst you swallow without him asking for it. Your tongue runs all over his size, enjoying every gesture of his face, when he can't handle anything else. Nestor helps you to get up, before clean yourself and getting your clothes well on. He kisses you again more dearly, with his fingers caressing your back so lovely that makes you sigh.
“'Am not gonna do it now, but... wanna know what Mikey said 'bout you?” He asks then, from nowhere interrupting the needy kiss. You're not sure if you want to know it. “That I should marry you”.
Your heart stops for a second, pursing your lips because of the surprise.
“Would you like, uh? I mean, I'm not proposing you. Not now. That should be more special, than do it after fucking you in my boss' bathroom”. You laugh in silence, shaking your head full of lively.
“Yes, I would like”. You answers then, putting his tie on and smoothing the shirt with both hands.
“‘K, I'll keep it in mind”.
#mayans mc imagine#mayans x reader#mayans mc x reader#mayans mc#nestor oceteva#nestor oceteva x reader#nestor oceteva imagine
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Insanity - Chapter 3
Description: She was an angel who came across the devil himself and her existence drove him insane.
Pairing: Sangyeon x Reader
Genre: Mafia au
Warning: Mentions of blood. Swearing
The next day you had been on edge since the moment you woke up. You couldn't help but feel nervous about the party Sangyeon had mentioned. You couldn't help but keep thinking of Sangyeon too. He was a mystery. You couldn't figure him out. But he was an interesting person to you. Earlier he had texted you reminding you about the party to which you had replied that you remember it and that you don't have short term memory lost or things like that. You knew that you were being snappy but you didn't really care. An hour and a half before it turned 7 pm you had went to take a bath willing yourself to relax. You got out and slowly started to get ready taking your time. You settled for a light make up. Giving yourself a natural look. You let your hair down. The dress Sangyeon had gotten for you looked wonderful on you. It was the right fit which sort of surprised you. You wore the earring and necklace which went well with the dress. When you done giving yourself a final touch it was almost 7 pm already. You put your heels on and walked out of the house locking the door behind you.
Just on time a large expensive car pulls up in front of your house. The driver gets off and opens the door. You saw Sangyeon who had a smirk on, waving at you lightly. You huffed as you walked towards the car and got inside. The driver closing the door and then getting back to the driver seat as he starts the engine and drove towards where you assumed the party venue was. "You look beautiful princess." Sangyeon says. You glanced at him. He was wearing a beautiful suit which looked expensive and you think of how it must have costed a fortune. He looked hot if you were honest. Dangerous but tempting. He looked like a predator and unfortunately or fortunatelyyou felt like a prey under his gaze. You didn't really minded for some reason. "Thanks. You look great too." You mumbled as you looked away hiding your blush. The whole time on the way Sangyeon had his eyes trained on you and then looking away when you looked towards him. It didn't made you uncomfortable per say but you felt a little bit of nervousness in the pit of your stomach. Your let out the breath you didn't knew you were holding when the car stopped in front of a large hotel. You got out of the car along with Sangyeon. He takes your hand in his as he leads you inside the hotel. "Good evening Mr.Lee. Good evening ma'am." Some of the staffs greeted when you too walked in. Sangyeon nodded back at them. You did the same with a smile. You could see some of the female staffs glaring at you making you shift uncomfortably beside Sangyeon. "Good evening sir. I have been told to lead you to the hall. Please do follow me." A male staff said. "Lead the way then." Sangyeon said as both of you followed the staff.
He led you to the hall. You could hear the chatters and slow music playing in the party clearer and clearer as you got closer. "Here you go sir, ma'am. Enjoy the party." The staff said. The two guards guarding the door opened the door wide. It was as if all the spotlight fell on you and Sangyeon as everyone inside the hall turned back to look at you and Sangyeon. Some whispered to each other looking at you while some looked too surprised to say anything. "Let's go in princess." Sangyeon softly says to you as he leads you inside. Your arms hooked around his. "Smile. You look beautiful. Don't look too nervous. It will make you stand out more." Sangyeon says. You try to look relaxed as much as you can and give the people staring at you a smile. A middle aged man comes up to both of you grinning. "Oh hello Mr.Lee. I almost thought you were not coming but I see you did and also brought a beautiful date with you." The man says. Sangyeon gives the man a smile, which in your opinion was fake. "Well I had nothing much to do Mr.Chou. So I thought why not." Sangyeon said. "I see. So who is this beautiful woman?" The man asked looking at you up and down. You coughed a bit as the sudden attention. "I am Y/N. Nice to meet you." You said bowing a bit. "Such a lovely name. It is really nice meeting you." Mr.Chou says with a smile. "Anyway enjoy the party. I will go greet other guests." The man says as he walks away. Sangyeon leads you to the table filled with different types of food and drinks. "Stay here. Don't move. I am going to go have a talk with someone. You can eat anything here. Be wary of other people. Don't listen to anyone talking shit and most importantly don't trust and follow anyone." Sangyeon says. You just nod with a huff as he walks away.
"Jerk. Leaving me all alone in a party I have no idea about." You mumbled to yourself as you turned around the table filled with food. "What would you like to have ma'am?" A man, who seems to be a staff asked referring to the foods and drinks. "I am not sure. But I would like to drink something. Recommend me something." You said as you looked at all the drinks. "Non alcoholic or?" The man asked. "Yes non alcoholic please." You said with a smile. The man nodded as he picked up a blue drink handling it to you. "It is a mocktail called Blue Shoe. It is my personal recommendation." He said. You hummed as you took the glass and started drinking as you looked around all the people in the hall. Everyone seems to be socializing chatting with each other. You see Sangyeon chatting with some woman and you unconsciously narrow your eyes at them. "Who the hell is she?" you mumbled to yourself. "She is Im Chaerin." A voice answered for you. Surprised you turned around and saw a shorter male with blue hair. "Oh." You answered not really knowing what to answer. "I am Kim Hongjoong. Nice to meet you..." The man says trailing off. You noticed how he had such cute facial features. "Y/N. Nice to meet you too." You says as you finished off your drink. "You came with Sangyeon?" He asked. You hesitantly nodded. "Well that's a first. He doesn't really come in parties like this. More so he doesn't really bring anyone with him. You are a first. Many woman would be jealous. Especially with the fact that you are really attractive." Hongjoong says as he picks up a drink for himself.
"Are you here because you find me attractive too?" You asked raising your eyebrows. You didn't meant to sound cocky and shit but you were a bit curious. Hongjoong laughs at your questions. "I would have been attracted to you if I was single. But what can I say I am really loyal to my boyfriend." He says. "You are gay?" You asked for confirmation. "Bisexual. But I prefer man more." He says as he takes a sip of his drink. "How do you know Sangyeon?" You ask. "You can say we are kind of friends? Well we help each other in various ways. He is more closer to my boyfriend." He says. "Did you came with your boyfriend?" You asked as you put pick up another glass Blue Shoe Mocktail. "Yes. And I don't knew where the hell did he went." He huffs with an annoyed look. "I am sure he will come back looking for you." You said with a chuckle. "Oh well he better. Or else he is sleeping on the couch." He said sounding threatening making you laugh at his threat. You look back up to where Sangyeon was and you saw him walking back towards you, his eyes flickering between you and Hongjoong. "I don't know about mine. But your man surely is coming." Hongjoong says snickering. You blush at his words. "I hope I didn't took to long. And I see you have met Hongjoong." Sangyeon says. "You left your girl to talk to another girl. Y/N was glaring at you." Hongjoong says. His words making your flustered as you hit his arm blushing. "Oh is that so?" Sangyeon says, you swear you hear his cocky tone. "Shut up." You said glaring at him. "Hey baby." Another voice spoke up. You saw a man slightly taller than Hongjoong approach the said male. "Hey hwa." Hongjoong greets with a big smile. "Y/N meet him! He is my boyfriend. Park Seonghwa." He says with a bright smile. You internally cooed. They looked so good together. "Hi Seonghwa-ssi I am Y/N." You said with a little bow. "Nice to you meet you Y/N-ssi. I am guessing she is your date for tonight huh?" Seonghwa asked as he looks at Sangyeon smirking. "Yes you are right." Sangyeon answers putting his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Does she know?" Seonghwa asked. "Yeah. She is the one who saved me after I got shot." Sangyeon says and realization dawns on you. "You guys are also gangsters or so?" You asked turing to Seonghwa and Hongjoong. They both nodded smiling sheepishly. You look at them in awe. 'Was all gangsters this handsome and pretty?' You thought to yourself.
"Anyway me and Hongjoong here will head out. We have to return soon. You know how Wooyoung is. Can't leave him alone for long. He might burn down my house or shit." Seonghwa says. "Sangyeon hyung do give Y/N my number. I would love to be friends with her." Hongjoong said making Sangyeon nod and after saying their farewell they went away. "They are cool." You mumbled. "Do you want to go back?" Sangyeon asked. "Yep I would love to. I am hungry. But I don't want to eat here." You said as you looked around at all the people feeling out of place and uncomfortable. After all you weren't used to attending such big parties. "Come on then." Sangyeon says as he pulls you away out of the hall. You followed him without any words. Both of you got inside the lift and he pressed on the 5th floor. "Why are we going on the fifth floor?" You asked curious. "This hotel has a large restaurant in the 5th floor. Their food is amazing." Sangyeon shortly says. When you arrived on the fifth floor he leads to where the restaurant was. In the front you can see a large glass door. The staff standing beside the door opens it for both of you with a friendly smile. He walks towards the reception. "Table for two please." Sangyeon says. The staff scarmbles off to guide you two to a table. You two ordered for your food and ate it quietly but you decided to break the silence. "So was the party.. a gang party? or whatever you call it?" You asked. He looks at you amused. "Nope. Some gang leaders has legal business. We use these business to hide our illegal works. And the party was a business related. Not gang one." He answers. "Is Seonghwa the leader of a gang too?" You asked now curious about lots of things.
"No. Hongjoong is the actual leader. But you can say Seonghwa is too. Because well they are together and they work together as a team to get their gang going. And Seonghwa is also the one who handles their legal business." Sangyeon says. "Aren't you scared that I might go to police and tell everything about you?" You blurted out. He laughs at your words. "First of all I don't think you won't. I know that you won't. Second of all you think they can catch us?" He says confidently. "Don't be so cocky." You grumbled as you focused back on your food as he did the same. After both of you were done eating he paid for the food. Oddly it felt as if it was date but you didn't dare comment on it. Both of you got out of the hotel and went to where the car was parked. The driver opened the door for you and Sangyeon to get inside. After closing the door he got to the driver's seat and started the engine driving back to your house first. "You really do look beautiful today." Sangyeon says making you blush mumbling a small 'thank you'. You didn't dare look at him too flustered. He was making your heart beat so fast and you felt butterflies in your stomach. You stayed silent as he settled for looking at you the whole way back to your house.
The car parked at the front of your house when you finally reached. Sangyeon got out of the car and kept the door open for you. "Thanks you know. For coming with me today." Sangyeon said. He was glad that it was dark. He didn't wanted you to see the blush on his cheeks. "Thanks too. I enjoyed it." You said looking down shyly. He suddenly closes the gap between you two. His arms coming up to wrap around your waist pulling you closer to him. You look up at him, your heart beating fast, your cheeks burning as it turned red, feeling shy at how close you two were. He leaned in and placed a peck on your lips. It was fast. It ended fast and it left you frozen. "I think I would like to have you as mine." He said lowly making you shiver. He pulls away from you. Your knees weak from his words. "Go in. I am sure you would like some good rest." He says with his hands in the pockets of his pants. You nodded. "Goodnight! I will see you some time later!" You squeaked out as you literally ran inside your house. You could hear him chuckling behind you. "I will definitely see you again love. Goodnight princess." You heard him say. You quickly opened the door and went inside. With a last peek at him you shut the door closes as you leaned your back against it trying to catch your breath. 'Fuck my first kiss is gone' you internally screamed as your hand touched your own lips. That night you fell asleep, still feeling tingles on your lips where Sangyeon's lips were earlier. And you totally dreamed about the said man. You were fucked and you knew it.
Previous Chapter || Next Chapter
Hello guys! Sorry for not posting for so long. My assessment exam was going on so it was a bit hard to write anything. Again! Thank you so much for all these support. I really appreciate you all ❤❤❤
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please don't forget to like and reblog. Thank you again. I have also made a masterlist for Insanity seperately. Stay tuned for next chapter. Buiii 💞💞
#the boyz sangyeon#the boyz jacob#the boyz hyunjae#the boyz younghoon#the boyz juyeon#the boyz kevin#the boyz chanhee#the boyz changmin#the boyz hwall#the boyz sunwoo#the boyz eric#the boyz#the boyz mafia#sangyeon x reader#the boyz x reader#ateez#seongjoong#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#the boyz fanfic#the boyz scenarios
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Nine Lives To Short Part 9: Fools like you
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💜💜
Shinsou arc complete ??
Paring: Shinsou x Reader 👀👀
Genre: Angst
Taglist: @bakuhoetoedoroki @foxypuppy
Plot: You only have nine days to tell him how you feel but...maybe you've been chasing the wrong guy.
"Why did you drag me out here, Bakugo."
Shisou puts one of his hands in his pockets as he stares at the surprisingly quiet Bakugo.
"You know exactly why I called you out here, Tom Cat!"
"Tom Cat? Now that's a new one"
" UGH JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN! It's about Y/n."
Shinsou gives Bakugo his full undivided attention after hearing that he wants to talk about you.
"Ever since Mr. Aizawa informed to the class about Y/n's qurik that shitty Deku been making theory about how to save her."
Shinsou eyes widen, "Wait really! What were some of his theories?"
"HIS THEORIES THEY ALL SUCKED! I BLEW UP HIS NOTEBOOK AFTER READING ALL OF THEM."
Shinsou let's out a long sigh saying, "Why am I not surprised" as he exhales.
"My theory is way better! Y/n's quirk only awakened when she fell in love right!? Well with you I mean!"
"Yeah, you're right on the money...but where are you going with this"
" Well,what if she falls out of love with you and she falls for someone else."
"Someone like me".
-Meanwhile back inside with Y/n and Momo-
"Ok ok this is fine everything is fine"
"FINE! NO EVERYTHING ISN'T FINE!" Momo says while shaking you furiously.
"MOMO STOP SHAKING ME! I JUST NEED TO LAY DOWN FOR A FEW!.
"Oh....are you sure, Y/n?".
Before you can respond to Momo you feel a tap on your shoulder, you turn around and see that it's Mei Hatsume.
"Oh Hello Hatsume-" In a instant Mei takes your hand and drags you off leaving Momo in the kitchen.
"H-huh! Umm Mei?"
"Sorry Creati, me and Y/n need to have some girl talk! I gotta introduce her to one of my babies!
Even though Mei has a huge smile on her face, you can feel her grip on her you arm tighten.
"Yeah, Momo I'll be ok just keep the party going!".
The chanting of Izuku name can be hear as you are being dragged out of sight and eventually out of mind.
Momo stares off wonder if she made the right choice because for some reason she didn't like the engery Mei was giving off.
"Umm Yoayorozu?"
"YES IM HERE AH, TODOROKI!?"
"You have a line of people asking for more cookies, it seems someone has ate them all" Todoroki glares at Uraraka that currently stuffing her face along with Mina and Kaminari.
"Oh hehe right I'll get right on it!."
...
Mei bring you into a random as she closes the door behind her.
"Soooo...what little robot did you make today Hatsume?" Y/n chuckles even though this situation feels awkward.
"I'm not here to show you anything...I just need to ask you something, it's about Shinsou." You notice that Hatsume is visible angry which makes feel uneasy.
" Oh Hitoshi? What about him?"
"Shinsou... is he your boyfriend?"
"BOYFRIEND?! PFFFTTTT NO NO NO NO! S-SHINOU IS JUST A FRIEND"
" oh so kissing is a friend thing?
(" Not right now!")
"So you won't tell the truth now...you're just like a him A BUNCH OF LAIRS"
"Huh? L-look whatever is happening between you and Shinsou has nothing to do with me"
"IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"
Hatsume starts poking you with her finger, pushing you back as she angrier and angrier.
" Because of YOU Shinsou wants nothing to do with me."
"It's YOUR FALUT that me and him aren't together!"
"WHY DOES HE CARE ABOUT YOU ANYWAY WHEN, YOU DON'T EVEN WANT HIM!"
Hatsume pushes you into a closet and blocks it with something but you can't see that it is.
"HATSUME! HEY LOOK IM SO SORRY I-I THOUGH YOU AND SHINSOU HAD SOMETHING!"
"We did until you came along! AND TOOK IT ALL AWAY"
"Yesterday I went to Shinsou's house to check on him....I-I called so many times and all he did was push me away! HE PUSHED ME AWAY FOR YOU!"
"Shinsou didn't even want to talk he used his quirk on me and walked away".
Y/n puts her head on the closet door and sighs "Hitoshi...no he couldn't have.. b-but even if he did that give you no right to put me in here!"
"You'll stay in there until someone finds you..if they do. Hatsume walks to the door, you panic as you hear her footsteps slowly fade.
" HATSUME! LET ME OUT!"
"Don't worry just sit tight and enjoy the party~ oh! I almost forgot if you're looking for your phone it's...broken"
Hatsume says after throw your phone at wall leaving a big phone sized hole.
" Bye Y/n, I'll keep Hitoshi in good hands I promise".
You kick on the door screaming for help as you voice as muffled by the loud party music right outside the room. Leaning against the wall Y/n can't help but think about how everything she feared would happened.
"GASP! Is this you finally facing reality HAHAHA! GOOD!"
"Oh pipe down you stupid cat! I already gotta deal with this closet bullshit I don't need you right now"
" Now you don't wanna face the consequences of your actions? It's because of fools like you that think they have any control of there fate! They only set themselves up for failure."
" I do have control over my fate!"
"And yet when your given the options to change you don't take it! That's why you're a fool."
"You're right...I've been doing this all wrong... after this party I swear I'll make the right choice!"
"Tch...such a foolish response but I'm not surprised."
"YOKAI, SHUT UP!".
-Y/n continues to try to break out of the closet but she fails, she gave up after what feels like 3 hours until she eventual fell asleep-
" OI KIRISHIMA! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO MOVE YOUR FUCKING WEIGHTS!"
Kirishima yells from across the hallway "Sorry BakuBro!"
Bakugo then notices the square shape hole in his wall and proceeds scream.
" WHO THE HELL LEFT THIS HOLE IN MY WALL! WHO THE HELL WAS IN MY ROOM!"
"I KILL WHOEVER DARED STEP IN MY DOMAIN!"
Bakugo glares at his closet as he hears rustling coming from it. Bakugo moves Kirishima's huge tower of dumbells and flings opens his closet.
"TIME TO DIE YOU BASSSSssss...tard? "
"Mmh?" Y/n squints, at the blurry figure until it comes into focus and she sees Bakugo.
"Oh...hey Bakugou hehehe"
"Why are you in my closet!"
Y/n faces palms "It's a long story...and I don't think you'd be believe me".
Bakugo smiles as he picks Y/n up help her get up "Knock yourself out I'll listen and I'll believe you, as long as it sounds believable."
-Y/n tells Bakugo everything that transpired and he's rightfully pissed-
" HUHHHHHH!!!! ARE YOU SAYING THAT GADGET GIRL DID THIS ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID TOM CAT!!!!!?!?!"
"Pffffttt did you just call Shinsou a tom cat and me GADGET girl!"
"Quiet you!"
" Ugh DAMMIT! We just told him to leave too we all been looking for you, I can't believe that took 3 hours!"
Y/n's fall on Bakugou's bed and screams into one of pillow.
"3 HOURS!!!!"
" Yeah"
" AND SHINSOU JUST LEFT!"
"Yeah he actually left with sparky, but if you leave you'll be able to reach them."
Y/n feels something gentle grab her hand, she moves the pillow from her face as she stares at Bakugo who is...looking away.
" That is...if I let you"
"Hey...Baku-GO!"
Katsuki lays his head on Y/n's lap "Oops" he said with a smirk
"BAKUGO COME ON YOU'RE TOO BIG FOR THIS!"
" Thanks for the pillow, alley cat"
"ALLEY CAT! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY YOU ANGRY POMERANIAN!"
-As you whine at Bakugo he blocks you out for a sec. He can't help but think out what happened outside with him and Shinsou-
....
"Bakugo...don't tell that you-"
" I LIKE HER OK THERE I SAID IT! At the end of the day I'm a hero and if see someone in danger DAMMIT IM GONNA HELP!"
Bakugo gets in Shinsou's face
"You're a fool to think you could ever have a future with her, you should've stuck with Hatsume."
" BAKUGO! YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER FROM ME."
"YOU DUMBASS GET OVER YOURSELF IM DOING THIS FOR HER!"
....
" HEY BAKUGO ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME"
Bakugo snap back to it...only to hear your whining which irritates him.
"OI! SHUT UP!"
" NO I REFUSE!
"OI THE OTHERS ARE GONNA HEAR YOU SCREAM SO SHUT IT ALLEY CAT!
"BAKUGO YOU SHU-Mmmh" Bakugo simply SHUT you up with a kiss.
-Meanwhile Shinsou is walking with Kaminari-
" Hey you think they found Y/n yet?"
"Why are you worried?"
" YEAH! AND YOU'RE NOT!?????"
"Kaminari, Y/n gets lost all the time she like a cat, eventually she'll come back."
Right.
"Hmmm you're no different huh"
Shinsou quickly turns around to see who said that " Hey Kaminari did you hear something?"
"No...OH GOD YOUR GOING MAD BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SLEEP!"
Shinsou slaps Kaminari in the back of the head.
" Dummy your brain is just fired"
" So he can hear me now"
Suddenly Shinsou falls to his knees and grunts in pain " AHH! OW ow ow!"
" Shinsou! Hey you ok man?"
Hitoshi looks in front of him and see a purple cat with a devilish grin on it's face.
" You're truly nothing but one and the same....a fool."
♡♡♡♡♡♡🧡🧡🧡
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#y/n#mha x y/n#shinsou hitoshi#shinsou x reader#bnha shinso hitoshi#mha xreader#angst#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha kaminari#denki kaminari#bnha todoroki#midoriya izuku#izuku mydoria
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Lost in a Daydream
Someone to Stay Ch. 14
Content/Trigger Warnings: darker topics on death and mentions of alcohol
You step into your patients room, closing the door gently behind you. The palliative care nurse is already in the room, breaking the news to the husband.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Gray. I know you love Cristina very much. This is a difficult time, and we are here to help you through it in any way we can."
"Help?! You're not helping!" He yells as he stands up, pushing the nurses hand off his shoulder.
"If you were really helping you'd be saving her not letting her die!" Tears start to stream down his face as he clenches his fists, his face red with anger.
"I know it's hard to understand. There's nothing else that can be done. It's been 30 days on the ventilator. Do you remember the paperwork she filled out? She didn't want to live like this."
"Don't you dare tell me what my wife wanted! And I don't care about any damn paperwork! I'm her husband, and I should get final say!"
His body language has definitely become more aggressive. You step in to help diffuse the tension, and act as backup if needed. You quickly page the charge nurse, before things escalate. You'd rather have too much help than not enough.
"I know you're hurting Mr. Gray. We truly are sorry. But your wife made legally binding choices, and we have to honor her wishes. We will help you through every step and make her as comfortable as possible."
"I've heard enough! I'm not gonna stick around here to watch you people kill my wife!"
He storms out pushing past both of you, nearly knocking over the charge nurse on her way into the room.
The three of you share a look, knowing how hard this can be on families. You get ready to continue the process, making sure you stick by Cristina Gray's side so she's not alone.
A couple hours later, it's the end of shift and you're completely beat, emotionally and physically. Luckily you made plans for a girls night, and if anyone can cheer you up, it's Penelope Garcia.
You arrive at Penelope's apartment to find that Aunt JJ and Emily have already arrived. They're all sitting around chatting with full wine glasses. 10 things I Hate About You is on in the background, a classic. You plop down on the couch, reaching over to the coffee table to pour yourself a glass of wine.
"Long day, huh?" Emily asks, looking genuinely concerned.
"Yeah we had to let a patient go. The family didn't take it too well."
"I'm so sorry, Y/N." JJ says while wrapping an arm around you to give you a comforting squeeze.
Penelope gets up from her seat to embrace you in a hug. You needed that.
You take in a deep breath before responding. "Thank you, all of you. But I'll be ok, I'm pretty used to it. Tonight I just want to relax, and have fun!"
"Well in that case, how are things going with Spencer?" Emily raises her eyebrows, giving you a smirk.
"Emily!" JJ chastises her, giving her a look of exasperation.
You laugh it off. "No it's okay. We're good friends. We are uh... well we are planning a trip. He's never been to The Wizarding World in Orlando. So..."
You feel your face start to burn as the three of them give you knowing looks, JJ included.
"But you like him right?" Penelope pipes up.
Your eyes go wide and you know you've turned completely red. "I don't uhhm...well I don't..."
You bury your face in your hands, gripping at your hair. You finally breath the words out. "I don't know." It's the closest you've come to acknowledging that there might be something between the two of you.
"Well, I will say this, he's a wonderful guy. And the two of you seem to really enjoy your time together. Now if you don't feel that way, that's fine too. There's no pressure."
How is it that Aunt JJ can always put you completely at ease. You look up at her with a nervous smile.
The other two chime in "Yeah no pressure!" "We're just being nosy!"
Penelope whispers a little to loudly to Emily "They'd be really cute together though..."
"I know right!" Emily grins.
You can't help but giggle, a smile breaking through on your face. It wasn't the worst idea.
"I wanted to kiss him the other day, I think."
That got their attention. They've now gathered around you, prodding for more information.
Penelope insisting you tell the whole story of what happened. You recount how he showed up at your door, calling you pretty when you felt you looked your worst. You explained how the two of you had laid closer for the movie, how having your head on his shoulder made your heart race.
"So, when are you going to tell him?" JJ asks.
"Oh! Oh no...I couldn't. I can't! There's no way he would ever..."
Emily cuts you off. "Yes there is way he would ever." She laughs, rolling her eyes. "You're gorgeous and kind and funny. Based on the way he looks at you, it's a pretty sure bet he knows all of that to be true."
"The way he l-looks at me?" You falter at the thought. You'd never noticed anything.
"Oh my gosh yes!" Penelope squeals. "He looks at you like you're the best thing he's ever seen, like he'd do anything for you. It's straight out of a romance novel."
You feel your face turning red again, as you swallow the growing lump in your throat. The thought of talking to Spencer about any of this really does a number on your anxiety.
"We'll see. I'll just...well maybe he'll say something."
"Have you met Spencer?" Emily jests giving you a look that says that's a stretch.
You just laugh it off. Now that you think about it, you've been growing feelings for him for weeks now. You'd even admit to feeling something at Rossi's dinner party. But you were just now coming to terms with this. You've barely processed it yourself. You're definitely not ready to dump it all on Spencer.
Attention slowly turns back to the movie as the other three continue sipping on their wine, chatting about what a great match Kat and Patrick make. But your thoughts are anywhere but the movie. You find yourself imaging what it would be like to date Spencer. He's already such a wonderful friend,
you can't help but wonder how he would act in the role of boyfriend. You wonder what it would be like to kiss him. He's probably so shy and timid, knowing Spencer. He's such a sweetheart. The thought has you smiling to yourself.
The other three ladies notice your attention is elsewhere as the see the look on your face. They all exchange knowing looks and smiles.
————————————————————
Spencer POV:
Since the girls were having a night together, Morgan insisted we do something as well. Somehow we landed on the gym, which I certainly did not vote for. Hotch and Rossi both had plans so it's just me and Morgan. After dragging me to several different machines, he finally lets us take a water break.
"You're getting better at keeping up pretty boy. I remember when you first started and you couldn't make it through more than 5 minutes," he laughs.
I roll my eyes but decide to take it as a compliment.
"You gotta keep in shape for the ladies am I right? Or should I say lady?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me a huge grin on his face.
"I don't know what you're taking about." I look at the wall in front of me as I sit to do some stretches, avoiding his gaze at all cost.
"Oh c'mon don't play dumb with me man. I've seen the way you look at Y/N. And don't you two spend all your free time together?"
"Morgan, no! We're just friends!"
"Oh okay. You're telling me, you've honestly never thought about dating her?"
I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out. He's not wrong. I sit there for a minute, thinking about all the times the thought had crossed my mind. I remember the butterflies I felt when we were sitting in the coffee shop together. I think about all the movie nights where I had to stop myself from grabbing her hand. Then there was the night at the bar, when it was all I could do not to lean in and kiss her as she danced with me. I must look completely lost in a day dream because Morgan sees the look on my face before responding.
"Yeah that's what I thought pretty boy."
I jump back up and make my way over to the weights, which I usually do my best to avoid. Weights are more of Morgan's arena. I put all my frustrations about not understanding my own feelings into every rep. Morgan walks over to spot me, hell bent on continuing the conversation.
"So how are you going to ask her out?"
I set the weights down, wiping the sweat off my head with a towel and running my fingers through my hair.
"You think I should ask her out?" My voices raises a few pitches, out of nervousness.
"Heck yeah! She'd be crazy to say no to a great guy like you!"
I roll my eyes, giving him a quick shove as I can't help but laugh. Derek may pick on me a lot, but he always has my back. His confidence in me boosts my own confidence a bit.
"I don't want to mess things up. She's my best friend..."
He sits down beside me, taking a serious tone.
"You two have gotten pretty close. If the two of you are as tight knit as you seem, I wouldn't worry about that. Either she'll say no and you'll both let it go, continuing a great friendship..."
"Or?" I question, worry covering my face.
"Or she'll say yes and the two of you will have a wonderful wedding."
And Morgan is back at it again. I roll my eyes at him as I stand to head to the locker room. But as I walk away, I can't stop smiling.
I decide to bounce some ideas off of him, about what I could do for a first date. I don't want to just do dinner and a movie. I want it to be special and unique just like her. After we throw out a couple ideas Morgan finally asks "Well why don't you use something the two of you have done or talked about? Or maybe something she told you about herself? When did you first start having feelings for her? That could be a good place to start."
I think back to when she joined me for phantasmagoria and we spent the evening in the coffee shop/music store. She told me how wrapped up her feelings were in music. An idea starts to blossom and I quickly tell Morgan, hoping to work through all the details. It has to be perfect. If it works out like I plan, I can ask her out and have our first date all at once. I want to show her how much I care, and I can't think of a better way to do it.
#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#original story#spencer x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer#spencerreid#spencer reid#someone to stay#lost in a daydream#Spotify
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I really miss the days where people could ship who they want with out some randos loosing their shit. There was a person who shipped shinobu with douma and people flipped and where like "why he's a psycho?" Like there's a reason why people like Harley Quinn and joker. Toxic ships are hot. As long as they aren't real. Like Johnny deep and amber heard.
I feel like people are doing this because there's so much going on in the world so they look for immediate scapegoats to quell their anger. Like yeah I can't stop racism, but I can get my friends to yell at this random internet person and start a hashtag. 🙄
This is kinda touching on the subject I had with that one anon the other day, so please let me continue.
People say ships ruin fandoms, and they are both wrong and right. Frankly, shipping two characters together is only a problem since it “bothers” people and nothing else. Granted, as long as it’s legal (like not an 8 year old with someone in their 20s), then what’s the issue? However, it’s when the “shipping wars” come around that people bring hate towards the fandom.
I was around when the ARMYs and EXOLs were at each other’s throats for the longest time, and it brought shame upon the kpop fandom. Instead of respecting each other and enjoying the music, there was constant arguing.
Shipping works the same way. I, for one, ship characters. Why? Because the dynamics are interesting, there’s good stories, and there’s incredible art. Am I going to proclaim hate towards whoever because two characters don’t end being canon? No. I’m here to enjoy the fandom, not spread hate.
Another problem with this is the minors issue. Yes, some of the ships I have include minors; does that mean I want to see two 15 year olds fuck? What are you, stupid? No, they’re going to be aged up if I wanna see/read it. It’s fiction, darlings. And yes, I understand that pedophilia can stem from fiction, but there people out there who are consciously making the effort to have some people the proper age. Others don’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Let’s look at Pinterest, for example. There is a dark side of it filled to the brim with NSFW images, and there are hateful/disgusted comments on those images. Interestingly enough, you have to dig through content to get to the naughty stuff, so what does this say about the commentor? Or what about those leaving mean words on Twitter art or Yagami Yato edits? As far as I’ve seen, both the art and those edits have age restrictions (and they clearly say 18+ or whatever), so what are they trying to accomplish?
It’s interesting to think about people using this type of content as a scapegoat. Ironic how it’s directed towards fiction, no? Are we not going to discuss the stuff that can be found on Pornhub? Pseudo-incest? Teacher/student relationships? That one episode of Riverdale where Betty (written as a 16 year old female at the time) strip teased/pole danced in front a crowd of grown ass adults? No? Just towards drawings? Seems pretty sketchy.
I’m aware I may be going on a limb here, but it’s almost as if the commentators are “fulfilling their moral duties” but being rude. Again, they can certainly click away; this is the INTERNET we’re talking about. Hate to break it to you, but this is almost a lawless zone. Things vary from country to country, and a lot of people forget about that. If I recall correctly, the age of consent in Japan is 16 or something? Either way, there are djs of high school students and it makes sense regarding who the artist is. Call me out for being gross or whatever, but you know I have a point. People in the United States are having sex while in junior high. Hell, I remember when I was in the 9th grade that a girl my age lost her virginity to her older boyfriend and was bragging about it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that people are trying to “justify” themselves or whatever. No one is 100% innocent, and you’d be lying through your teeth if you denied it. Let others ship who they want. What are you gonna do, anyway? Cyberbully them? What are you, 12? There is literally a glodal pandemic going on, and my country is basically on the brink of another civil war. I think there’s more important things to focus on.
Anyway, thank you for tuning into my TEDtalk 🙇♀️
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(A/N: Hey guys! Sooo, this is my first one shot here on Tumblr, featuring Todoroki due to a rush of creativity coming to me. The inspiration is a matchup I requested from none other than @lxvely-mha ^.^, so this little one shot is my way of saying a huge thank you! Hope you guys enjoy this piece featuring my oc [literally me XD]. Little heads up, this will be in her point of view... Feel free to request from me if you liked it ^.^)
There's three things I know for sure. One: I'm not the most confident person... Thanks to bullying I had endure most of my life, my self confidence isn't that high, especially when it comes to my body. I'm only 5 foot 4 inches tall... Mind you, I'm only an inch below average height, but my weight... not so average. I had stopped checking on it some time ago because I was scared that a much bigger triple digit number was going to pop up the next time I stood on a scale.
Two: If I ever do feel confident, it's usually when I'm either listening to music, writing or singing. I'm not exactly creative enough to write lyrics and compose the music... But, for the composing part, I don't really have an excuse due to having a music genius for a best friend. There are times I feel like Kyoka Jirou should have been my sister.... That girl knows me better than anyone else at U.A....
Three: I'm deeply and irrevocably in love with my boyfriend. It's actually pretty funny how we ended up together. We didn't actually start talking until after the Sports Festival, and Midoriya was the one who introduced me to him. Shoto Todoroki... I wasn't too open with Shoto when we first met if I'm being honest, but I found out pretty quick how interested he was in me. Everytime we had to pair up for projects and we got to choose, he always ended up making his way toward me. I swear, as soon as our friends started seeing us together more and more, it was teasing left and right from the girls. It honestly wasn't too long before I started noticing our friends starting to get us into situations where we were alone together... Hell, everyone in our class started shipping us. It all built up to when we first moved into the dorms...
Shoto and I had been in the kitchen at the same time, Kaminari and Kirishima talking amongst each other while Shoto and I were talking. I have no idea which one did it, but a sudden force knocked me forward toward Shoto. I had braced myself to hit the wall, but I felt something warmer than that under my hands. When I looked up, I realized I was in Shoto's arms, with my hands on his chest, and much to my own embarrassment, I started blushing redder than the left side of his hair. As embarrassing as the situation was, I couldn't look away from his eyes... Those beautiful, enchanting heterochromatic eyes, and those eyes... Were right... On... Me. There was this look I had never seen in his eyes before, but it wasn't bad at all... The look in his eyes almost seemed... Longing, but there was so much love behind them, I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. We had confessed at the same time, and shared a good laugh over it.
That was a couple months ago...
In the span of a couple months, we had opened up to each other a little bit more. Shoto had seen how competitive I could be first hand, thanks to the Sports Festival, he already knew how stubborn and closed off I was since it had taken me months just to open up to him a little while we were just friends. Only two days into our relationship, embarrassingly enough, he found out about my tendency to ramble... I had been talking about a day out with the girls and how much they had bombarded me with questions before training had started. When I had looked up at him, he was staring at me with the softest look on his face, his chin in his palm and his head tilted. I'm not gonna lie, I almost squealed because he looked like an attentive puppy. It was so cute!
Best part about being with Shoto? Cuddles. Oh my god, you have not lived until you cuddle with Shoto. I don't think Shoto lets even one day pass without wrapping his arms around me at least once, but hey, I'm not complaining. Whether it's cuddling in one of our rooms, hugging for a quick moment because our schedules only allow a second of us time, or Shoto wrapping his arms around me from behind while we talk with our friends, Shoto's hugs are just the right temperature for comfort, thanks to his quirk. I'm not gonna lie, I think I've messed up my sleep schedule way too many times because of how much I fall asleep in Shoto's arms. A majority of when we cuddle is usually when I'm writing. I'll be sitting on the couch, typing out a drabble or a one shot one of my readers requested (or a drabble about Shoto), and he'll just slip in behind me, put his legs on either side of me, and wrap his arms around me. He'll usually press a kiss to my temple as a way to tell me to lie back on him, which I gladly do everytime so my head ends up on his chest. He'll press kisses to my cheeks everytime he gets a chance, usually while we're cuddling. Hell, he'll pepper my face with kisses until I start giggling, and he only stops because he's too busy chuckling with me. Occasionally, I'll give him one of my earbuds and we'll listen to music together on Spotify while I write. If I'm not sleepy, that's my favorite way to cuddle...
And did I mention the cute little kisses Shoto gives me? I swear, Shoto makes it a point to kiss me at least once while we're cuddling together. But, my favorite times are when he gives me three: One on my forehead, one on the tip of my nose, and one on my lips.
But one thing's certain: I absolutely cannot be insecure around him. Oh boy, let me tell you, Shoto absolutely hates it if I even look insecure. If he catches me even looking like I'm thinking about doubting myself, he launches into the biggest lecture about how beautiful and perfect I am in his eyes. He lists everything he loves about me until I'm blushing a darker red than Kirishima's hair, and he always finishes with, "Don't ever doubt yourself, my love, because nothing can take you away from me. I will forever be your hero, your knight in shining armor. You are my princess, my greatest love, and as such, I will always come for you." As if his words weren't enough, he goes full on prince mode and kneels on one knee, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. It makes me blush so dark everytime.
Now, if I'm ever next to him, he'll literally pull me onto his lap, and pepper my cheeks in kisses until I start giggling. As soon as I do, he gives me a tight hug and starts stroking my hair. He usually does it with his left hand, letting off just enough of his fire side to give me a comfortable warmth without burning me. He'd start humming or softly singing to me in my ear, and let me tell you.... My man can sing. He'll usually stroke my sides, my back or my hair as he sings, my head on his shoulder. Actually... That's usually how I fall asleep, being held close to my boyfriend, his soothing voice singing to me. But, even after the months of knowing him, Shoto has no idea that I can sing. I'm not as good as Jirou, who's the only one who knows about my ability to sing...
Well, one of the rare afternoons after class, Shoto had to do extra training with Midoriya and Iida, so I was left to do what I wished until Shoto got back. Since I was sweaty from hand to hand training against Ochaco, I decided on taking a shower. Once I got out, I dressed in sweatpants and a black tank top before sitting on my bed as I dried my auburn hair. I softly started humming before closing my eyes as I started to sing.
When tomorrow comes
I'll be on my own
Feeling frightened of
The things that I don't know
When tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes
And though the road is long
I look up to the sky
And in the dark I found,
I lost hope that I won't fly
And I sing along, I sing along
And I sing along
The chorus is when I really lost myself to the lyrics, thinking about Shoto. The song truly conveyed, in words I could never describe, how I felt about him all these months of knowing him.
I got all I need when I got you and I
I look around me, and see a sweet life
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're getting me, getting me through the night
Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes
Can't lie, it's a sweet life
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're getting me, getting me through the night
'Cause you're my flashlight (flashlight)
You're my flashlight (flashlight)
You're my flashlight
"My love, you never told me you could sing like that." I jumped at the smooth and calm voice of my boyfriend, my eyes snapping open to see him standing in the doorway of my room. My eyes widened as all the heat rushed to my face. I'm pretty sure I broke the world record for darkest blush at that point... He was leaning against the doorframe, the most adoring look on his face as he looked at me with his head tilted in that adorable as hell way. Damn it, I could never think straight when he looked at me like that...
"H-How long have you..."
"I didn't mean to intrude, my love." Shoto told me as he walked toward me as he talked. "It's just that I had heard an angel's voice singing, only to find that the sweet angel I was hearing was no one but my princess." Shoto sat down next to me and I let out a squeak of embarrassment, making him chuckle before he pulled me into a hug, putting me on his lap like he always did. I hid my face in his shoulder out of embarrassment, but he merely rubbed my back. "My love, your voice is nothing to be ashamed of... Your voice is as beautiful as you." He pressed a kiss to my temple and it wasn't long before he made me sit up and sit in front of him. He picked up my hairbrush and started gently brushing out the knots as he picked up where I left off, my voice harmonizing with his. We smiled at each other as we kept singing, Shoto pulling me back to him as he laid back with me on his chest, his arms around me. I smiled as we sang together, our eyes never leaving the other, our fingers interlaced and our voices harmonizing together. He smiled up at me when we finished singing and pressed a sweet but passionate kiss against my lips.
Maybe I had only been with Shoto for a couple months, but I finally felt complete...
With him... I was finally home.
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The one where Tak and Emory go to a party in their kigurimi
Spring break had come and gone and on a foggy night in early April, the Shark and the Hedgehog sauntered up the dark streets of Berkeley, walking from Shattuck BART to Haste, up to College Avenue. They held hands as they walked in shadows, enjoying the quiet spring night once they were above Telegraph. They were headed to a place near the Julia Morgan building for a party put on by the Pan-Asian student union. It was to be an Animal Onesie themed party to raise money for a member of the union who was battling leukemia while trying to finish her masters degree. They wore the onesies Emory’s aspiring fashion designer little sister had sewn them. Emory hadn't wanted to go at all but Tak pointed out that nearly everyone there was going to be an Asian nerd which made Emory feel a little less out of place than he did at other college parties full of red cup woo-bros.
Neither of them wanted to be sober, and neither of them wanted to try to find parking in Elmwood, and neither of them wanted to shell out for a driver so they walked, choosing to wear the onesies instead of carrying a backpack and trying to keep track of it all night. They had just reached College Avenue and were nearly there when some asshole in a yellow hummer screeched to a stop where they were crossing the street, revved his engine, rolled down the window and screamed,
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKIN CHING CHONG FAGGOTS!” And as soon as their toes touched the sidewalk on the other side of the intersection he peeled out, fishtailing over the narrow suburban streets.
“Jesus what the fuck?” Tak glared at the tail lights.
“Well he does drive a hummer.” Emory shrugged and looked at his shoes.
“I hope he chokes on a bag of sweaty dicks,” Tak grumbled.
“Hey,” Emory stopped and looked at Tak “Don't let that shitbag ruin your night. He means nothing.”
“I am trying not to. I was a little scared, Em. I forget that not everyone, even in Berkeley, is cool with gay dudes or Asians. Or gay Asians.” Tak kicked at some leaves on the sidewalk.
“Gaysians,” Emory corrected.
Tak laughed so hard he snorted. “Emory, I don't know what I would do without your smart ass.” He draped his long shark fins over the stout hedgehog.”We’re almost there, lets get baked.” He brought out his vape. Tak had brought an Indica, super stupid and stoney, not meant for anyone who had anything important to do today or probably tomorrow either. The plan was to get as high as possible in order to tolerate the crowds of other Asian students in fuzzy animal suits dancing to K-Pop. Tak had originally planned not to go, despite being regularly involved with the organization, but then someone had made a comment about him not really being that Asian and he wasn't about to take any shit from some third gen kid who didnt even speak his own language fluently when Tak, despite mostly appearing black, spoke nearly fluent Japanese.
They strolled another block to the party, several animals outside chatting over loud music emanating from inside. There was a gaggle of Japanese girls in matching unicorn onesies, a kangaroo, a corgi, a giraffe, two Pikachus, and a Totoro.
“I didn't know we could wear character onesies.” Tak pouted.
“Yeah that's bullshit, they said animals. I wanted to be Cthulhu.” Emory scowled, but not seriously. The Indica was taking over, and shuffling into the building was taking concentration. They shouldered their way inside and headed straight to the makeshift bar where they got juices, Ramune for Tak and grass jelly for Emory. Nearby tables held all sorts of snacks from the Asian market. There was dried squid, onigiri, rice crackers, wasabi peas, dumplings, etc. Not even the worse case of the munchies could convince Emory to eat party food that other people had touched and then put their hands to their mouths, and then back to the bowl. Gross.
The plan was to make a loop to say hello, then make another loop to say goodbye and then get the fuck out. Tak knew most people here and Emory knew a fair bit as well, but this was the first time they had gone to a college party as a couple and Emory gave no fucks what people thought, but he could tell Tak wasn't completely there yet, and considering the incident with the hummer bro, he tread carefully.
So it was a bit of a jolt when Emory introduced Tak to two vietnamese guys, Tu (Husky dog) and Rithi (racoon), as his boyfriend. Tak froze up when Tu offered out a fist to bump, and Emory caught a glimpse of Tak’s hesitation. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he was a little indignant. He tried to remember that Tak and he were both super high and not to trip out and what-if the hell out of a little hesitation for a handshake. It wasn't until after they had finished chatting with Tu and Rithi and Tak still wouldn't meet his eyes that he started to get pissed.
Emory spotted a back hallway leading to a door and without a word grabbed Tak’s fin in his paw and dragged him to it. He lugged the shark into the hall, glowering, before opening the door and yanking Tak inside.
It was not a back door to the outside as Emory had hoped, it was a closet. There was a mop and bucket, some big box size packages of toilet paper and paper towels, and other relevant miscellany. A bare bulb glowed from the ceiling. Emory, flustered at this development, quickly reached to lock the door behind them.
“Tak, what the fuck. I can't tell people you're my boyfriend here?” Emory asked, hurt and accusatory.
“I'm sorry I did that. I really am. I don't know why I did that.” Tak said, clearly grappling with being just a little too high for the conversation.
“If you don't want to be out at a party, you have to tell me before we get there. I don’t have a problem keeping it under wraps, especially if you don't feel safe, but you have to let me know, Tak,” Emory breathed hard through his nose when he finished speaking.
“ I do. I did. I do.” Tak stammered. It was unlike him to drop his eyes and struggle. “I,.. Emory, that was the first time anyone ever called me a faggot. I'm not joking when I say that Hummer dude scared me. I don't want to get beat up and murdered just for being in love with you. I started spacing out on the walk over here thinking about what I would do if someone tried to fuck with us. I thought about what I’d do if someone hurt you. I started just spiraling into worst case scenarios and thinking about how I take our safety for granted here. I was buggin’ out and I shut down. I'm a little too high, Im sorry,” he heaved a heavy sigh.
“For being in love with you” played on a loop in Emory’s mind as his eyes traced over Tak’s countenance, his slumped shoulders, tucked chin, arms hanging at his sides. He’d never get used to the way those words made him feel.
“UGH I can't be mad. There isn't anything to be mad about. I just want you to tell me if you don't feel safe or it there is something you need from me before we go places. I don't want to push you to be out everywhere we go but you do need to give me the heads up. I feel like an asshole for assuming without asking if we were out here,” Emory folded his arms across his chest but his eyes were soft.”I cant fight with you while you’re wearing a shark suit.”
“I want to be out here. There’s no reason to hide here. We aren’t even the only queers here. I want to show you off to people and make them hella jealous...I think being super stoned just made me paranoid. One toke over the line, man,” Tak shrugged.
Emory covered his mouth and his shoulders shook.
“What?” Tak crowded his eyebrows together.
Emory started to laugh behind his hand. “Its just that Im locked in closet with a giant in a shark suit, having a serious conversation about my relationship while Im dressed as a hedgehog, and Im super high.” He started to laugh harder, “You can’t make this shit up.”
Tak took a moment to view the situation from outside himself and yes, it was very, very hilarious. He began to giggle, then laugh, then gasp between bouts of belly laughs.
Emory watched Tak laughing and felt all warm and gooey in his chest. He want to kiss him, right now. He stepped closer, grabbing a fistful of shark suit in each hand and yanked Tak close. Tak’s laugh stopped but his smile went on for eons. Emory had the look. That look. Tak knew that he was going to do anything Emory asked when he saw that look. He leaned in to kiss Emory, one hand keeping his balance, which was intermittent right now, on a shelf. The other hand slipped into Emory’s hedgehog hood, and held the back of his neck. He could feel the heat coming off of Emory through their fuzzy suits as he pressed his body into Emory. Emory was avoiding his kiss, teasing him, making Tak chase his lips, snapping his teeth at him and smirking.
“Give me that!” Tak growled, pulling on Emory’s neck harder until his lips crashed into Emory’s. He felt Emory’s smirk fade under his own lips and his posture softened as he kissed Tak back with sensual and deep open mouth kisses, making Tak want to pitch himself into the abyss of Emory’s touch. After many moments, as kisses turned into lips on necks and ears and throats, Emory whispered into Tak’s ear,
“I really can’t wait to get you alone.”
Tak grinned. Emory knew all the buttons to push and Tak wondered how soon they could ditch this party. Tak’s hands wandered into his hood and into his hair. Emory could play cool, but not when Tak played with his hair, that was when he lost all thought being stealthy or tame. Emory’s eyes simmered and he flashed a grin before claiming Tak’s mouth again. Tak rested one long hand on Emory’s shoulder, the other in his hair, tugging close to the scalp, eliciting a rumble from Emory’s throat.
“More.” Emory demanded, digging his thumbs into Tak’s hip bones in an almost painful and insistent way. Tak pulled harder at his hair and Emory bit down viciously at his neck. Tak moaned and his head tipped back, making a loud noise when it landed on the shelf behind him. He heard someone tapping on the door, jiggling the handle. He didn't care.
“Fuck off!” he managed to shout to whomever was on the other side. The knocking stopped. “Goddamn Emory your mouth is going to kill me,” Tak murmured. Emory nipped again and pulled back to see the mark he had left on Tak’s neck, which was not discrete or small. He laughed louder than he expected to and jumped when another banging knock came from the door.
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