#“hur hur it's just a joke” i think we should learn to be funny without being mean about stupid things

[triaelf9]

I mean, it is possible to not be shitty to ppl over what fictional character they romanced in a video game.

I mean, unless, you need to flex how good of a decision YOU made in a video game bc of some insecurity or something.

Or you could do the way more fun and cool thing of enjoying everyone else's joy, even if it's not your fave ship or whatever. I promise I that seeing their joy instead of shitting on something that makes them happy is way cooler.

[themockingcrows]

Companionship Through Circuitry ch. 6: Setbacks

Bro/Hal cw: blood, violence, deathclaws, and a generally bad day in the wasteland

Journeys are never without their inherent dangers. When you're living in the wasteland, it's to be expected. Doesn't make them suck any less, though.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942408/chapters/64071430

     I spy with my little eye-

     “Hal, pick a new game already.”

     I can assure you this is the best game to play out here.

     “Fine,” Bro said, exhausted. They’d been traveling for days on the remains of the highway by now and there was no sign of a proper township. He smelled, his back and legs hurt, and despite having plenty of food water was always a precious commodity. He also had at least four letters to send by now, including a few sketches and schematics he’d designed after toying with the Furby body some more, in case Dave wanted to get his hands on a little guardian bot of his own. The kid was smart, even he’d be able to handle basic scripting to make a functional system for it. Surely someone else he was buddies with could figure out an AI of sorts for it, too. 

     True, it would have been easier to follow another path by now, but following the main point of the highway just seemed the best, most direct route for him. Who’s to say it was brahmin who made the trodden paths that led further into the wastes, or humans? What if it was mutants, or worse, deathclaws stalking the wastelands? Scuttling parties of mole rats or vicious dogs.

     Would you like to know what I spy or not, Bro.

     “I don’t want to know, but I’ve got a feelin’ you’re gonna tell me anyway aren’t you.”

     Correct! I’ll give you a few hints.

     Bro groaned in irritation.

     “A bloatfly,” he guessed off the bat.

     No, though it is annoying.

     “As annoyin’ as you? Why isn’t there a fuckin’ mute option on these shades..”

     Your second hint is that it’s bipedal.

     That perked him up somewhat. Bro scanned the horizon further off for signs of a city or outpost, a wanderer, a courier. Anyone. Instead what he saw was the lanky, sharply pointed edges of a juvenile deathclaw. A definite pain in the ass, but nothing he couldn’t handle.

     “...And how long have we been in deathclaw territory for, Hal?”

     Uncertain, my saved map mentions shopping centers, not deathclaws.

     “Ooh, shopping centers?” he said. “Put a peg in it, if we find somewhere to trade soon we might do a run back to grab some more supplies for trade and keepin’.”

     The deathclaw is still nearby, you know.

     “I can avoid it if I want,” Bro said, taking out his sword. A juvenile would take some fast work, but he knew he was good for dispatching the monstrosities, and people paid good money for their clawed hands, even the small ones. Hell, even he wanted some bits off of one sometime, though mostly for show. How sick would a deathclaw fang necklace be, after all?

     You appear to be approaching the small one instead of fleeing.

     “Watch and learn, Hal,” Bro said as he shifted his weight and began to run. Aching feet or not, his boots cut into the crisp cooked layer of topsoil and sank ever so slightly with each step. The deathclaw noticed him and turned, beginning to awkwardly run towards him, long limbs ungainly but just as deadly as an adult. They met in the middle, Bro’s sword singing off the armored hide of the creature’s forearms, taking a chunk with it as he went. The deathclaw lunged for his middle with a shrill noise, catching a chunk of shirt on the end of one of its spiky hands, but just missing his tender vitals. He turned, and used the momentum to slice at the space where its behorned head connected to its body, the sword sliding against softer skin. Staggered, the small deathclaw stepped forward, then tottered back unsteadily as it began to bleed out.

     Bro lifted a foot and kicked the creature backwards to its spiny back, then followed with the sword to spear its chest, cranking the blade to the side once it glanced off a rib, forcing downwards till it stopped moving. Planting his boot on its chest, he yanked his sword free and swung it in the air a few times to rid it of blood, and smirked. Fuck, that felt good. Nothing like taking out a little nightmare to give a nice rush of adrenaline and dopamine. Hell, he wouldn’t even say no to a smoke or a drink right now, ride that high long as he could.

     Excellent, now how do you intend to deal with the mother?

     “Mother?” Bro asked, about a half second before he felt something plow into him like a freight train, sending him flying and pain searing through his right shoulder blade. He landed flat on his face and skidded before rolling over, hand on his sword raising it defensively and other hand reaching for his gun.

     Shit. Shit, shit, this was definitely a mother death claw, the hide was darker than usual. He must’ve just killed one of her brood. Not a good look for someone not interested in dying in the middle of nowhere. He fired a quick two shots, missing the first and nailing her in the left eye  with the second, though it only seemed to make her more enraged after a brief second of shaking her head. She raised a hand and slashed downwards where Bro was scooting backwards, forcing him to block with a weakened grip before the second slash sang home across his chest, blood spurting where her claws shredded flesh and fabric alike. One of the straps of Bro’s bags was severed, leaving him half dragging it as he continued to try crawling backwards, firing till his clip was empty.

     Hal was urgently trying to tell him something, but Bro couldn’t hear anymore, couldn’t think, could only focus on the burning in his chest and the taste of copper in his mouth. Things were flashing through his mind as he stared down the deathclaw, who was raising both of her hands for a double slash that he wouldn’t be able to block in the slightest. Things he still wanted to do, to say. Memories.

     Dave the day he left home to travel to the city, bag on his back and barely a look back as he wove past the traps. Dave as a lanky tween, perched by his side on the counter top as he cooked an omelette for them both, telling him a joke that he still didn’t think was funny but that he’d laughed at anyway. Dave at five, sitting on his lap as he fiddled with a new project that would eventually become a birthday present game for him, looking up at him with big red eyes almost full of tears when he refused to tell him what he was working on.

     Dave, still struggling to put weight on as an infant as Bro kept him warm on the sofa through a bout of fever, trying to coax him into eating just a bit more from the bottle, wondering if he should make the trek to find a doctor or keep hunkering down and hoping it would work itself out. Being scared out of his fucking mind about this tiny, sick thing in his arms and on his chest, worried he’d break if he moved wrong.

     This wasn’t fear he felt. It was acceptance. Dave being sick or hurt was fear, even when he’d been the one to hurt him in the preparations he’d run repeatedly over the years. A deathclaw? This was his just rewards for being cocky without backup. He wanted to have time to apologize to Dave, like he always really meant to.

     He wanted to apologize to Hal, too, for not managing to take him to get his body. For getting his hopes up about Dirk and then dying with him in the middle of nowhere. Maybe the shades would get crushed by the deathclaw after he died, spare him much misery. They’d both just go out like a candle in the breeze and nobody would be any the wiser.

     A shot rang out, and blood spurted from the side of the deathclaw’s head. She staggered, stomping her sharp feet on his abdomen and legs as she adjusted her balance and snarled in alarm at the new threat. More shots, each one more precise than the last, till finally one hit the same eye he’d shot earlier, and the beast went down on top of him. Though his ears were still ringing, Bro could feel his pulse slowing down and everything going darker as the feeling of faintness took over.

     Bro. Bro!

     “Sorry, Dave,” he mumbled, blood on his lips and eyes unfocusing as red eyes stared at him. No, wait, not Dave. “Hal..”

     AMBROSE.

     The last thing Bro was aware of was a high pitched repeated beeping pattern ringing out from the shades on his face, a signal he knew so well. Anyone out here could recognize SOS when they heard it, but Bro couldn’t care anymore who did hear it.

     Darkness claimed him.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     “...p. See? I think he’s waking up! Jake, push more fluids!”

     “I’m going as fast as I can, don’t you think he’d bl-........”

     “...ver if we don’t. Sometimes you have to do dangerous things in a time of crisis, just pu-...”

     “...rry chap, we’re doing our best. Why were you playing with a deathclaw mot-...”

     “...’s going under again, God damn it why don’t we have more gauze!”

     “...aid last time we wouldn’t need that many, let me check his ba-...”

     “....tting sick, stupid coat, ugh! Hand me a clo-...”

     “...ehozaphat he’s rolling in meds and chems! Lookit all this, it’s a kings ran-...”

     “...ab whatever you can, inject him with at least two, and hand the alcohol to me so I ca-...”

     “...nk he’ll make it? He’s in an awful way, Jade. We’re still at least a few miles out fro-...”

     “...re he’ll make it, we just need to hur-...”

     ...ve him. Please. Pulse is falling at an alarming ra-...

     “...re trying our best, believe me, it’s up to him if we ca-...”

     ...n’t lose him to-...

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

     When Ambrose woke, it was to clean sheets and a bright light coming from a window. He reached up to touch his face and panicked to realize the shades weren’t on him any longer, looking around as he tried to sit stark upright to look around. Tried being the correct term, considering when he got a few inches upright his abdomen and chest sang with burning pain and forced him to lay back on an aching shoulder. Sighing an exhale, Bro took the room and himself into account.

     The room itself looked to be a standard medical setup for a scap town, shelves of supplies and a few more beds shoved into the same room with him, a shabby gray curtain sectioning the space off from another area. He was laying on a cot with the aforementioned clean sheets, which were a hell of a commodity, and wrapped what felt like head to toe in bandages. His chest had padding underneath that seemed fresh enough, as well as his abdomen, and another bandage seemed to be wrapping his shoulder. His forearms had bandages, a shift of his legs revealed smaller areas of wrappings and-

     Bro snatched the sheets and lifted them upwards, looking down towards his groin in worry. Okay. Phew. Dick still there and in one piece, no need to panic. Thank fuck.

     Were you honestly more concerned for your dick than me? Came a voice from the top of the shelves, arms folded in and tucked at an angle to not get damaged or in the way.

     “To be fair, I’ve been attached to my dick longer than you,” Bro said, giving another try at this standing thing and getting as far as sitting upright before he had to stop, dizzy. He was also connected to an IV he realized, two bags half drained already and the tether attached to his arm carefully with another bandage and some tape to keep it from moving. One of the bags was unmistakably blood. “Where’s my stuff.”

     I’m fine, thank you for asking. I can really tell you were concerned for my safety after being nearly disemboweled. I can also tell you’re just dying to know how you went about not dying.

     “My stuff, Hal.”

     In the other room, safe and fucking sound.

     “Thank you. Gimme a second and I’ll come get you,” Bro said, running a hand through his hair. He realized with surprise that it was clean instead of gritty with sand and dust and blood, freshly washed like the rest of him. Someone had taken care to wash him thoroughly it seemed. Hell, even his fingernails were spotless. Shocking. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been this squeaky clean, it was almost a shame he didn’t remember it. “How long have I been out?”

     Almost a week.

     “Jesus,” Bro rasped as he finally stood up on shaky fawn legs, reaching for the IV stand for balance before making his way over to the shelf, naked as the day he was born save for the bandages. He groped for the shades hurriedly when he started feeling faint again, and had just grabbed them when the curtain pulled back.

     A tall girl with dark skin, shocking green eyes and long wild hair tied back into evenly sectioned ponytails stood owl eyed behind large round glasses with a single crack in the left lens, a stethoscope around her neck and familiar leftover military gear covering her from head to toe. She frowned, and immediately rushed forward to grab Bro by the elbow and middle of his back, steering him back to bed.

     “How long have you been awake!” she asked. “Why didn’t you wait till someone came to help you? Are you in pain? Do you need any water? Food?”

     “Few minutes,” Bro said, more than a little startled. He sat and covered himself soon as he could, but the young woman didn’t back off in the slightest, swooping close to shine a pocket light in his eyes, checking his pupils.

     “Has there been any bleeding? Any night terrors? Do you have any numbness or weaknesses?”

     “I feel like shit, but otherwise,” Bro said, grimacing and jerking his head back from her grasp as she turned the light off.

     “I’ll get Jake to bring some lunch in for you, I’m glad you’re not running on glucose anymore. Actually, I’m glad you’re running at all,” she said with a grin. Her canines were strangely sharp looking. “My name is Jade Harley, and I’m half of the reason you’re alive right now.”

     “Is the chap who tried to cuddle the wrong end of a mother deathclaw awake yet?” asked another voice from beyond the open curtain.

     “He is! Get some of those mirelurk cakes and mac and cheese, please?”

     “I’ll bring some of that slackjaw jerky too, I imagine he’s half starved for real food,” said the male out of sight, before Bro heard distant sounds of dishes and metal scraping metal.

     “...So what, you a doctor?” he guessed.

     “We both are, in our own right. My cousin, Jake English, is the one who spotted you first out there. The primary reason you’re alive, however, is because we’re both sharpshooters! There wouldn’t have been much left to save if we hadn’t pegged that bitch into the dirt,” she said enthusiastically.

     Bro’s lip twitched in amusement. This person couldn’t have been older than her early twenties, but she was a doctor? And a sharpshooter?

     “So who really saved me?”

     Jade’s smile sharpened somewhat, looking predatory. “I don’t think I’d tease like that when you’re still so weak. All it’d take is a cushion to take you out right now, I bet.”

     “Sorry, just. You’re so young…” he trailed off as another figure entered the room with a dinner tray. This person didn’t look much older than Jade if he was a day, face clean shaven and hair styled but messy, standing at about the same height. He looked much more solid, though, shoulders broad and chest straining a little at the fatigues shirt he wore, and his demeanor seemed much sweeter than his cousin at first glance. More innocent somehow, or somehow less aware of the intensity of their surroundings.

     “Here you are, I’ll get some juice for you as well in a few ticks. First time I’m seeing this much of your outside as opposed to your inside since we got you scrubbed down!” he laughed, setting the tray on Bro’s lap. The food smelled fresh and was warm on his thighs beneath the sheet, mirelurk cakes looking greasy and delicious, mac and cheese that smelled plenty creamy from the box, and some kind of soft looking jerky rubbed with spices that made his mouth water as much as the fresh stuff before him

     “Try to eat slow,” Jade warned him as Jake trotted back out of view for a moment and came back with juice as promised. “Hope apple’s okay! It’s what we’ve got.”

     “Apple’s fine,” Bro promised, tucking into the mac and cheese first, eyes closing in bliss. Salty, creamy, rich. He could feel it flooding his system already, a body starved for nutrients beyond the bare minimum of functioning and safety. Once he shoveled a second bite into his mouth, he slid the shades onto his face and grinned a bit when haughty red eyes looked at him. Hal was clearly annoyed, angry even, but those eyes were full of concern too.

     “We’ve got tea too, though not everyone enjoys what we brew,” Jake chuckled.

     “Their loss, it’s delicious,” said Jade with a shake of her head.

     Scans show temperature readings as normal. Pulse normal. Pupils overly reactive to light, but not abnormal.

     “I hope he didn’t talk your leg off,” Bro said. “He’s kind of annoyin’.”

     You have terminal stupidity, I propose an immediate lobotomy to put you out of my misery.

     “Will you knock it off for ten seconds and let me eat before rippin’ me a new one?”

     It’s true. The doctor said so. You’re just stupid.

     “You were snuck up on by a creature twice your size in the wasteland,” Jade pointed out with a smirk. “Though I’m glad Hal’s giving you a positive reading. He was quite useful while we were saving you.”

     “How much did he talk,” Bro wondered aloud.

     “A bit,” she admitted. “We discussed why you were traveling, though he wasn’t that talkative about details. He let us know about Dave when you kept saying his name, in case you didn’t make it. He wanted us to be sure to let him know, and to send your other letters.”

     “You’re a long way from home,” Jake chimed in, taking a seat on the nearest bed to talk while Bro shook his head and went back to eating. “But it’s all fine now. Er.. mostly.”

     “How much do I owe you,” Bro said almost immediately, breaking a mirelurk cake in half with his fork before stuffing it into his mouth. He’d worry about manners when he wasn’t sitting in a room with two strangers who’d apparently saved his life and seen him in more detail naked than anyone else had in years.

     “We’ll figure out caps in a little bit,” Jade said. “You’re going to need to stay here a while longer either way, and we had to use a lot of your medical supplies.”

     “Helped ourselves to a little bit of your food as well, but mostly it was the chems and supplies we needed at the moment. Lucky for us you were damn near carrying a medics inventory on your back!”

     “Yeah, I just got through a vault,” Bro said. “Place hadn’t been looted yet till I got there.”

     “A vault!” Jake interjected excitedly. “Was it like they say, all sterile and eerily perfect?”

     “It was full of the people who used to live there, and they weren’t human anymore,” Bro said simply.

     It was quite a show to see that many feral ghouls get put down in one go.

     “Oh, that doesn’t sound very dapper.”

     “Vaults rarely are. They’re either fulla deadly shit, full of a shit load’a nothin’, or fulla people who don’t want you to bother them because you’re all gross from bein’ outside and they know you just want the goodies they’ve got.”

     “My grandpa was from a vault,” Jade said with a grin. “He’s the one who raised both of us, taught us everything we know.”

     They traded conversation for a time while Bro continued to eat, though it waned when he finished and looked exhausted, surprised that the very act of eating took so much energy out of him. Jake took the tray away and Jade performed a followup examination as Bro settled back tiredly on the pillows. Before she left, he requested his belongings, or what was left of them.

     He had an important letter to write.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     Bro’s head ached sickly by the time he finished writing the letter, nearly as much as his heart, and his eyes were wet. He didn’t dare to rub at them, nor to even draaw attention to them, but the fact he’d cried while pouring his fucking soul out onto the page wasn’t something he’d admit to anyone. Hal, bless him, remained quiet aside from occasionally offering a correction on a phrase to make it sound better. At first Bro had resented the dictation, but found the changes in wording to be a positive thing, eliminating double meanings. What he ended up with was the letter he’d envisioned sending Dave when the deathclaw was about to do the killing strike, and the fewer mistakes and misunderstandings that could arise from it was for the better.

     It took another few days of resting, eating, and conversing with the doctors before Bro was strong enough to go for walks around the town. First thing was first: he paid express for his letter bundle to be sent to Dave along with some money, the most recently written one marked URGENT in bright red stamped letters. Secondly, he got himself a cola and drank the entire thing in one go. The doctors had been kind enough to spot him some clothes, since his shirt was ruined and his pants were scrapped in the moment by bloodshed and emergency bandage use on top of their general wear and tear. The down side was he hated fatigues… but hey, beggars couldn’t be choosers.

     He was settled with another soda at the little bar and grill early one morning, having shared breakfast with Jade and Jake once more (his own recipe this time, which only Jake seemed enthusiastic about once they’d tasted the product), but wanting to just sit outside and enjoy the early morning before the sun really got going on cooking everything in the wasteland to death. Hal was quiet, watching as well he presumed based on the little target viewers moving around every time someone moved.

     What do you plan to do if you don’t get a reply?

     “Keep goin’,” he said with a shrug, taking a sip. “I’m not expecting a reply to any of my letters, but he knows which way we’re headed if he wants to write back. Kid knows how to use a map of settlements to send ahead of the curb if he wants to.”

     ...I was worried I lost you too, back there. But you’ve never once apologized to me yet.

     “Apologized for what?”

     For nearly making me watch someone I care about die. At least the first one had the decency to not die while wearinng me on his fucking face.

     Bro was pensive and stretched his long legs out from his seat before tipping it back on its hind legs, balancing in place as he took another sip.

     “I promise I won’t die while wearin’ you, then.”

     You f-

     “I wouldn’t wanna hurt you at all.”

     … That is acceptable I guess.

[fuckyeahjoonmyun]

GRAZIA Magazine April 2019 issue - Interview with Suho

The photoshoot started in the afternoon. What did you do before getting to the venue?

“Because I got up too early, I went to play basketball, had lunch, and even went to an oriental clinic, which was quite diligent of me.“

Then the swelling [T/N: that you’d have after waking up in the morning] must have disappeared by now? (laugh)

“I’ve been starting a new diet that matches my body. I usually would eat meat but they said it wasn’t right for my type of body [T/N: probably metabolism]. They said that I should plan my diet primarily based on seafood and white rice now. I’ve been eating carbs, which I wouldn’t usually eat before, so my body is a bit swollen.”

In one of your previous interviews, you said that one of your mottos is to ‘be present at the moment’. What side of yourself do you want to present in today’s interview?

“I need to be present at the moment but I probably worked out too hard in the morning, my eyes can’t be all shiny now (laugh). But fortunately I think my current state matches the concept of today’s photoshoot too, so I guess it did my body some good relaxing.”

You recently attended Bvlgari’s B.zero1 20th anniversary event in Rome as Korea’s representative.

“It doesn’t happen everyday that you are invited to an overseas event. So it was an experience full of amazement and fun for me. It was also the first time I ever went to Italy so I took the opportunity to enjoy Rome to the fullest before coming back (laugh).”

You’re also known as one of the humorous members within your team. I feel like I know what that means now.

“I haven’t even started though? I’m talking in all seriousness right now (laugh).”

Do you normally wear jewelry too?

“I have great interest in fashion, but I wasn’t that acquainted with jewelry. There was one time when I accidentally had a scratch on my neck during a dance session, so I became more careful after that. But then thanks to this event, I got to wear rings and necklace(s), and they seemed to look nice on me. Hahaha.”

Yeah I watched that live broadcast where you showed your ring too (laugh).

“It kinda matched the look that I went for that day so I wanted to brag a little bit.”

You did some travelling with your friend after finishing the schedule, normally it’s not easy for you to travel around, is it?

“I do travel once in a while. I’ve been planning my vacations ever since the 4th year after my debut. I personally love travelling, so I took the time to form a group with my friends and travel every year. But still, this was the first proper Europe trip with a friend.”

Not only Rome, you took your time to travel every corner of Venice too. What’s your travelling type?

“I wasn’t the type who would plan my itinerary so thoroughly in the past. That resulted in me belatedly knowing that the place I just came back from was a very famous place, or there was a good restaurant near my hotel that I passed by without knowing. It was kinda upsetting and such a pity. [Because] when would I ever get the chance to visit that city again. It’s really true that you only feel and see as much as you know. That was when I started to plan my travels and do my research diligently before going somewhere.”

Where was the most memorable place from this trip?

“My favorite spot was Colosseum. We unintentionally went there 3 times, but if it makes you go ‘Wow~’ looking from the outside, once you get inside, it gives you this unexplainable vibe. I didn’t have my expectations high but once I was inside, the scenes from the movies ‘Ben Hur’, ‘Gladiator’, the American series ‘Spartacus’ came to mind one by one and matched with what I saw, so it was a very interesting experience. It felt so incredible, the fact that thousands of people from the B.C. times would come to this huge building, sit here and cheer as they watched the matches.”

What’s your next destination?

“I’m thinking Paris. I’ve been there once but I just travelled around without a guide, so it’s a shame that I couldn’t feel much. This time I plan to go on a guided tour and also visit the nearby city where Van Gogh, my favorite artist, used to live before he passed away. And to view his artworks too.”

You put ‘Su-hwak-haeng’ in your instagram profile. What’s your trivial happiness these days? [T/N: su-hwak-haeng is a wordplay with so-hwak-haeng, which stands for ‘the guaranteed happiness that comes from small/trivial things’]

“I think I just feel happy after having a day a little well-spent. When I lie on my bed before sleep, watching Netflix, after spending time well. That really is the moment of happiness, isn’t it? (laugh)”

What’s Suho’s typical well-spent day like?

“I do a lot of sports, including fitness. Also for my lyrics composing, whenever I come up with something, I write it down. I meet my friends, we watch movies and share our stories, too. Or if there’s someone in the group with an audition coming up, we would help him with script reading too.”

Throughout the interview, I kept thinking that you reminded me of someone, then I realized that your voice or your vibe really resembles your close friend, Byun Yohan’s. Do you grow to be alike as much as you are close?

“My brother said the same thing too… A few people said something similar too. Is it because I do script readings with him frequently (laugh)? But as you get to know us, we always have big differences.”

Is there something you’re into these days?

“These days it’s basketball. My goal is to work hard and level up.”

What’s at the center of Suho’s life at the moment? Have you ever thought about that?

“I have my personal ambition regarding acting so I’ve been participating in musical and movie works, but the fact that I’m EXO’s Suho before anything else doesn’t change. Also during this Italy trip, I got recognized by many people, I think it was because I’m EXO Suho, and the invitation that I got to attend an event overseas was also thanks to my EXO title. That’s why it’s only natural that I always keep EXO at my center.”

We all know that you call yourself the funniest member in EXO. How would you define your gag code?

“Our fans call it the ‘gag pristine area’. That it’s the kind of gag where I don’t devalue and hurt any certain person, but only make fun of myself. I personally think it’s such a innocently funny thing. In itself, it’s a kind of heavens-helped gag (laugh).”

Do you know that the very fact that you are explaining it right now is funny too?

“Sometimes there are people like that too. They say that whatever I do is just funny. When we did the photoshoot sometime ago too, it seems I was quite interesting. The photographer said that I was interesting even when I just stood still.”

Aren’t you proud of yourself at times like that?

“Of course I’m happy (laugh).”

Who has the best understanding of this gag dimension of yours?

“Sehunnie really likes it. Our codes really match well.”

Then who’s the most incompatible member?

“I think it’s Chanyeol. Chen used to not match either but now he’s come to understand my code (laugh). But Chanyeolie seems to never get it.”

I think it’s not an overstatement to say that the relationships among EXO members now are like a family. When are the times when you are reminded oh so well that ‘As expected, we are one team’?

“Recently we got the chance to gather all the members after 2 weeks. It was such a happy and interesting time. Of course we ended up playing games that time too, and I don’t know why but I ended up last place.”

Was it because the members kept tackling you?

“I think eventually it’s because I take it well. And my reaction is good too. You know there are also people who pull a stern face and hate it when you joke around. But as for me, I don’t act like that as long as it doesn’t go too far. I think they tend to especially act that way even more because they want to see my reaction.”

Don’t you ever think ‘I want to get down from the leader position now’?

"I don’t know if it’s because of the years we’ve been working, but now be it the members or the company, they always come to discuss with me first. But these days I’ve been thinking, that even if I weren’t the leader, they would’ve done the same. It’s tiring at times, but at the same time it’s rewarding too, that ‘So I’ve lived a good life.’ I don’t think the situation would change much even if I were to retreat from the leader position now.”

If there’s something you wish from the members as the leader?

“We play games a lot, but I wish they started to learn how to lose now. You know people say losing is actually winning. To be honest, there were many times when I intentionally lost. More than feeling happy from winning in a game, I would hate it more to see the members who have strong desire for winning being upset from losing. Rather than ‘I need to win even if I have to die’, it feels more at ease to just let others win (laugh).”

I guess it’s the leader’s consideration.

“I think it’s just my personality. I’ve been like that ever since I was small. Even when we played games where we bet a jjajjangmyeon, my friends would fight and end up injuring themselves. So I never joined (such games).”

Who’s the EXO member with a particularly strong desire for winning?

“It’s Chanyeol (laugh). As for me and Kyungsoo, we have no desire to win, nor are we interested. Anyways, my hope is that they would learn the happiness when you lose intentionally for others’ sake. Haha.”

Just 1 year after you challenged yourself in the musical field with <The Last Kiss> in 2017, you ascended to starring in <The Man who Laughs>. You even won yourself many newcomer awards. It must mean that you got your recognition now, right?

“I think to some people, I’m forever an acting idol who came from an idol group. That’s all the more reason I feel thankful being awarded. Because it means that I got recognized a little as a musical actor. I know very well that with every award comes the responsibility and pressure, so I need to work even harder in the future. Because I’m a new actor who just starts now.”

You’d hinted a few times that you wanted to work with seniors. Now that it finally came true, what did you learn from them personally?

“I’ve learned so many things. Jung Sunah nuna especially pointed things out and helped me meticulously. She would make precise comments like ‘You were slower than the beat in here’. Even in the middle of the actual show too (laugh). I learned a lot from observing how the seniors did it, and all the process of working together with them became such great energy to me. I was able to learn from watching carefully every move of Park Hyoshin hyung as he did it. Haha. I think I worked hard to try to catch up through that process of watching them for reference, then reinterpreting it in my own way.”

2018 was a year that you worked hard not only in EXO’s activities but also as an individual. What kind of plan do you have for this year?

“So far there’s no exactly finalized plan. It’s just that I really want to work on a movie or a drama, and a musical is a good idea too. EXO also has plans to show various sides of us.”

If you could choose, what kind of face would you want to meet the viewers with?

“I don’t particularly look for a certain character. But I do hope that it’s not one that is too stiff. I want to act someone who’s flexible, mischievious, and shows their emotions well. But I don’t want it to be another cool character again. Because it’s kinda burdensome. Haha.”

What’s the picture that Suho’s visualizing for the future to come?

“I want to become someone of positive influence, who sets a precedent. So that I can become a senior who starts and paves the way for my junior colleagues, and is of help to them. For instance I can be of positive influence to my fans or others just by donating or founding a volunteer organization. Also, if in the past, when you say you want to be awarded at Cannes or the Oscars, it would be common for people to tell you to ‘stop dreaming’, but now, that thought is gradually becoming something realizable, not a dream without any hope. I believe that someday a Korean will make it. And the junior actors who see that will be able to dream bigger dreams.”

(cr. LittleAriel13 blog)

[acesthetically-pleasing]

We Need To Talk About Sherlock [22/52]

Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge 2017

Wed 25th, Day 4: Post about how a canon asexual/spectrum character came out or how you believe a headcanoned asexual/spectrum character would come out. Or post about them not coming out and why they haven’t.

For this occasion 22nd aspec drabble of 52 aspec drabbles of 2017. One that I actually started approximately 10,000 years ago. It’s a nice feeling to finish things! Enjoy a 5+1 story all about Sherlock Holmes and coming out! :) [Also on AO3]

 one

"Girlfriend? No, not really my area." Sherlock replies, lost in thoughts, while still looking outside.

Will the murderer appear? It is a very long shot, he mostly hopes to get a chance to experiment with John's limp, it might be inconvenient if he doesn't get rid of it quickly enough.

"You've got a boyfriend then? Which is fine."

"I know it's fine," Sherlock says quickly. Of course, it's fine, he has nothing against it in general. People can do whatever they please, he would simply appreciate them not tagging him along with the insanity.

"So you've got a boyfriend then?"

"No."

"Oh, so, you're unattached like me. That's good."

Oh. Oh no. Was he? Oh god. Why is it always so hard to tell, when it's happening to him? He's been told he missed obvious cues, so he tried to be precautious and actually warned Lestrade off, who found the whole thing hilarious once he caught up with Sherlock's meaning.

"John, while I am flattered, you should know I consider myself married to my work."

"No, no, I wasn't... No. It's fine. It's all fine."

Sherlock frowns. He's sure John doesn't understand, but they've just met and they're at Angello's and there's a serial killer on the loose, he doesn't have the time nor will to explain himself to strangers. If they will become flatmates, friends perhaps, he suspects this is not completely out real of possibility, though highly unlikely, it will come up and he will have the time to properly explain.

     He allows himself a brief annoyance that always comes with the thought of explaining it all. How uneducated people still are. How much more difficult it is to tell them the truth than to let them assume he is whatever they paged him for, gay, straight, sociopath.  

     Now, however, is not the time for this annoyance either, because the cab slows down and stays there for far too long. Oooh, that's clever. Is it clever? Why is it clever? 

           two      

     They're working on a case that is intertwined with a group of sex workers. Sherlock would be excited, sex workers are sometimes a beginner's crime for a serial killer, but the victims are very specific and the murder itself is dull while the case is muddled with personal drama of the victims. Sherlock interviews everybody connected, reads their social media to learns about them, talks with them in his head and it still doesn't make sense.  

     "Why would he even be with her, it was her night off, there was no cash exchanged unless it was taken, but nothing points to that," Sherlock rants to himself to stay focused.  

     "Yeah, why would he sleep with her, a true mystery," says John, mockingly and looking at him with a mirth in his eyes as if to share a joke.  

     Sherlock frowns and John's expression slowly changes, slackens, his eyebrows lifting in surprise.  

     "What?" Sherlock snaps.  

     "Seriously?" John rolls his eyes when silence is his only answer. "You walk into the room and know what a person you've never met had for breakfast, when did they get here and what's their dog's name, but you see a guy with an attractive girl in bed and you get confused?"  

     "I focused on her occupation and thought of it as a business meeting, I failed to notice she clearly mixed business with pleasure."  

     "Rather hard not to with a job like that."  

     Sherlock makes a sour face, just thinking about it in too much detail by accident. He shakes his head to lose the thought.  

     "I'm sure one can manage."  

     John frowns at him and Sherlock is already rolling his eyes and quickly walking away, avoiding eye contact. John makes this face when he is trying to figure Sherlock out and it never means anything good, considering both all the sharp bits that make Sherlock and John's lack of ability to look at them from the right perspective.  

     "Do you ever even-"  

     "No time for chatting, John. Lestrade is waiting for us."  

     "No, he's not. He said to come back when we have something."  

     "Well, I do have something."  

     "You found a lead?" John asks, hurring behind Sherlock and down the stairs.  

     "No," Sherlock grins, twirling around to face his friend. "I found a murderer."  

           three      

     Sherlock thinks it's too obvious.  

     Then he remembers people are idiots and always believe what they want.  

     He wonders how far he can push it.  

     Of course, Janine doesn't really know him. She met him once, at the wedding, he was being nice. It's not hard to convince her that his less nice moments were an effect of stress. It's believable. Again, she doesn't know him well enough to know that it was his good behavior that was actually an effect of stress and very strong will. Utterly fake. She thinks he's interesting and oddly funny. It's enough to work with for awhile, she's not a problem.  

     Everyone else is.  

     Lestrade would make this confused face he always does when he's trying to figure out if Sherlock is playing with him. Maybe he could be convinced enough not to protest, but he wouldn't ever really believe it. Ready to jump with the hearty "I knew it!" the moment the act was dropped. Molly would be upset enough to get fooled for a while, but then she would see him being sweet and she'd figure it out. She is a smart girl. Mrs. Hudson would be hopeful enough to try and lie to herself. Mycroft would just roll his eyes, he lost the hope a long time ago.  

     John...  

     He thought John would be harder to fool.  

     "You have a girlfriend?" John asks shocked and Sherlock fights back a smile.  

     "Yes, I have," he says, feigning confusion and hoping John will call out him on that.  

     He told him so many times by now, but it seems it never stuck. John is shocked and disbelieving, but he never brings up the right arguments, the right words, even if they should be well within his arsenal by now, so Sherlock doesn't indulge him with the truth until it's needed.  

           four      

     "You are a living, breathing man. You've lived a life, you have a past."  

     "A what?!" This shouldn't be happening not here, not now.  

     Although somehow he knows it did happen. It does happen. Both here and now. A lot of times.  

     "Well, you must have had..."  

     Why is he so tenacious, this is not what they're here about and yet it's always there, isn't it? Underneath all of their conversations.  

     "Had what?"  

     Sherlock should finally just tell him.  

     "You know."  

     He would be insufferable, but maybe the torture of those conversations would finally end.  

     "No."  

     Eventually.  

     "Experiences."  

     "Pass me your revolver, I have a sudden need to use it."  

     "Damn it, Holmes, you are flesh and blood, you have feelings, you have... You must have... Impulses."  

     That's what Sherlock always feared, that John would insist it's just Sherlock being Sherlock. That it's not a real thing, not a real explanation. And Sherlock had heard it all before. You're not asexual, you just have issues. You're not aromantic, you git, you're just an arsehole. It's not a real thing, Sherlock. You're a sociopath.  

     He heard it all and now he hears it in John's voice and now is - not - the - time!  

     "Dear Lord, I have never been so impatient to be attacked by a murderous ghost."  

           five      

     "As I think I have explained to you many times before, romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people..."  

     "Would complete you as a human being," John interrupts and Sherlock wants to punch him. He wants to hold him and make him stay, but good Lord he also wants to punch him.  

     "That doesn't even mean anything," he says instead and lets John talk instead. This isn't about him.  

           plus one      

     They're at the crime scene again, just for a moment this time. Rosamund is in Lestrade's car, happily playing in her seat and talking to herself and her plushie rabbit, but she won't be satisfied with this for long. They stopped for a moment just so Sherlock could glance around and point Lestrade in the right direction. The man is run thin, the Yard understuffed due to the flu season and Sherlock feels magnanimous enough to share a few minutes, as long as it's not enough for the takeout that John's still holding to lose all its heat.  

     John narrates calmly, half talking to Lestrade, half trying to figure things out himself. Sherlock just humms back at him, feigning interest while focusing on the difference between the footprints in the alley.  

     "Okay, so those two snuck out into the alley for a bit of fun like we all did in a day even if some of us pretend they've never felt the urge," John's monologue take that characteristic tone of 'I'm mocking you' which for John often means 'I'm mocking you to check if you're listening' so Sherlock obligingly rolls his eyes at him.  

     "I guess that's his privilege as the asexual one in the group," Lestrade mumbled before yawning hugely.  

     Sherlock stares at him while John falls silent and turns towards the policeman as well. After a short moment, Lestrade notices the doubled attention and blinks owlishly.  

     "What?" he asks, his voice muffled due to his stuck nose.  

     "What do you mean-" John starts asking, but Sherlock interrupts quickly.  

     "The cook from the bar did it," he says and then in the growing generous mood adds: "You will find the murder weapon under the bin, probably with his fingerprints or DNA, he accidentally dropped it and didn't have the opportunity to retrieve it since the police arrive. He didn't get a chance to clean it. He was in love with one of them, though I'm not certain which. He will confess, it was a passion murder, he's not prepared to deal with the consequences."  

     "Oh," Lestrade looks surprised at the detailed information, but quickly snaps out of it, clearly deciding to just take it gladly without looking the gift horse in the mouth. He grins at Sherlock. "Thanks, Sherlock, that's brilliant."  

     "Yes," Sherlock agrees. "I am. Goodnight, Lestrade."  

     "Yeah, 'night guys." Lestrade waves as Sherlock moves quickly towards the car, John following him slowly in a thoughtful silence.  

     Sherlock guesses they finally will have that conversation he kept putting off for years now. He grabs Rosamund and passes the takeaway to John, not meeting his eyes.  

     Part of him is relieved.  

     He catches them a cab quickly even though they're not that far from Baker Street. Rosamund is getting sleepy, she will get fussy soon, it's better to avoid it.  

     Part of him is annoyed that Lestrade didn't need the talk, but he tries not to dwell on it.  

     "So, asexual?" John asks and Sherlock raises his eyebrows.  

     "I thought it rather self-evident."  

     He turns towards the car window and talks to Rosamund, answering her inane questions as she points at the things they're passing.  

     The cab is not really the place for this conversation, he thinks.  

     But they don't talk about it at home either.  

[t-shirts-are-my-strength]

Purging My Thoughts About Moana

Probably yelling to the void here, but thinking on the upcoming Beauty and the Beast movie got me thinking on how Disney’s movies for this past year ranged from “OMG amazing!” to “meh”. Moana, for me at least, is in that ‘meh’ category. At first, it was in the ‘disappointing’ category, but that was because I went into the movie expecting something more than what it was.

Moana, to make it short and sweet, is nothing new. Yes, she is a Polynesian “not princess”, yes they make wonderful use of Polynesian culture and legends, yes the songs are catchy, yes I can enjoy it with friends, but the underlying story is terribly, terribly route. The plot was so foreseeable it hurt, and while that may not be a bad thing for a feel-good movie, usually you want to have your movies stand out from the crowd with some sort of nuance or je ne sais quoi. But I think the worst part about it for me, was three things: I could not connect with Moana as a main character, I could not perceive one strong underlying message, and the breaking of the forth wall.

The Break of the Fourth Wall

I’ll address the latter first since it’s small and easy to get out of the way- it’s cute when Disney can point and laugh about itself and the perceived stereotypes it has, but doing it in dialogue can have a nasty effect. It breaks me out of the story and severely dates the tale for future audiences.

The first strike was when Maui toted the ‘tweeting’ joke. Aha ha. Very funny, but also leaves me wondering where the hell can he pick up this sort of knowledge. Our protagonists are in ancient Polynesia, no recent technology anywhere, and Maui has been stuck on that rock of an island for one thousand years. There is no logical way he could have the knowledge to make a joke like that, and now that I’ve realized that, POOF, I no longer have a good suspense of disbelief. Not to mention this joke will place the story squarely in the “Millennial Era” where Twitter has a strong foothold. It would be ridiculous to believe that future audiences will still be using Twitter- the interface of the internet is changing all the time and to anchor a joke on such a fleeting thing is lazy in the setting of the story. I might have accepted it from the genie in Aladdin- he says crazy references all the time and has an excuse (magic and cartoon physics)- or in a more modern tale like Zootopia, where they have technology references everywhere. The joke just doesn’t fit the context.

The second one is the “you have a dress and a small animal sidekick, you’re a princess” line. Again, from Maui. Again, makes no sense contextually. And has the added bonus of me wondering why such a thing matters to him. Again damaging my suspense of disbelief. Yay. Once was fine. Twice has now ruined my enjoyment of a story I now can’t get engaged in. Why do the characters care about this distinction? If the ancient Polynesian cultures in this movie have no princesses, how do these characters know such definitions? How many so called ‘princesses’ has Maui been around to know this trope, much less recognize Moana for what she is with no other signifiers like tattoos, a crown or jewelry besides her necklace? Why does Moana care? This issue literally has not been brought up earlier in the exposition and it has no bearing to the plot but for a ‘heartwarming call-back’ later on. It does not matter, and now just has me comparing Moana to other Disney princesses in my head and not paying attention to the plot. Maui just as easily could have said some insult comparable to ‘feeble mortal’ or ‘wandering idiot’ and it would have had the same desired effect.

I know a lot of this point seems like nit-picking, but for my personal experience of the movie, it has a heavy bearing on whether I’m engaged. I was forcibly disengaged. Not good.

 I could not connect to Moana as a Main Character

Sort of addressed in the point above, what with the fourth wall break, but it’s such a large issue for my experience of the movie, it gets its own point. A large part of what makes characters likable and why we want to follow their adventures is because they are relatable. They have some flaw, or some series of unfortunate events that makes their experiences, in some small way, comparable to our own.

For Moana, in the rising action, I perceive several things- she is a leader, she loves her people, she is inexplicably drawn to the sea, she has loving parents that she wants to make proud, she is headstrong, and she believes herself duty-bound. Cool. Not really seeing any weaknesses. Don’t get me wrong- while I personally may not have any experiences with being a future chieftain, If she had showed uncertainty in the aspects of being a leader itself, like worrying that she may get things wrong or feeling as if people don’t respect her, I might have connected. I may not have any experiences with being drawn to the sea, but if it was showed that she had raw talent for sailing, and that’s why she was drawn, I might have connected. I have experiences being connected to and caring for an entire community, but when Moana is only shown having deep connections with her parents and grandmother- I don’t see her having conversations or meaningful gestures (a wave, a hello, how’re you) with peers or even people her parents age (I don’t even remember seeing someone her age on the island, besides the toddlers in the opening), it’s hard to believe that she’s much connected to them at all, and therefore hard to understand her want to serve them. There’s a small aside to her parents (“she’s doing great!”) that has me believe that they’re connected to the community, but not so for her. I mean, come on- you do the bait-and-switch for the pig and rooster when you could have easily replaced the pig with a mischievous human friend. And still had the rooster be the small animal sidekick.

Besides that, I am shown glimpses of her headstrong nature, which I can connect with, but it’s not in the spotlight for the exposition and isn’t treated as a flaw until near the end of the movie, in which it’s too late for me to consider it a flaw to be embraced or overcome. Bringing me to my second perception for her character and character arc- Moana is also very confident in everything in the exposition, and the sudden appearance of her “self-worth arc” in the second half of the movie is a bit confusing. I was not shown that she had this issue in the rising action- yes, she was nervous about leaving home and confronting Maui (who wouldn’t be?) but this doesn’t tie to “self-worth” as it could. She’s in a new environment and facing a stranger who is a demigod- it’s understandable for even the most braggadocios person to be nervous.

In her “I want” song, she sings the line “I wish I could be the perfect daughter” buuuuuuuuuut, I see nothing else on “self-worth”- her conflict of the land vs the sea is a conflict of duty vs want. Not of “self-worth”. And a single line in a song is an egregious cross of the “show don’t tell” rule o’ thumb. And it’s mostly because of this apparent absence of the starting point for her “self-worth” arc that I find it hard to believe the supposed-to-be-poignant scene of “choose someone else” and Ghost Grandma has any place in the plot at all. It still confuses the heck out of me the third time I watch it and ask myself, “where is this coming from?” You could say it’s because Maui is an influence that put that doubt into her head, but most of her interactions with him are spent clearly taking his word for nothing and disrespecting him to such a degree that I can’t believe that reason either. And we aren’t shown an introspective moment where she gives us an expression to clue us in that maybe his words are hurting her before that climax where he leaves. I can just as easily imaging her character thus far giving his fleeing figure a salty expression and then deciding to continue on for herself and her people (that she claims to love so much but now has so much self-worth issues she’s just gonna give up and kinda seal them to a fate of death and destruction without giving it so much of a second try) without a thought to her “self-worth” and definitely without the Ghost Reprise.

In fact, the “self-worth” character arc is more of Maui’s than Moana’s. That annoying crab even sings about insecurities that relate more to Maui than Moana. From the beginning of the plot to the final minutes before Maui leaving, Moana is a rather self-assured character. And despite the dramatic change in Maui leaving-Ghost Reprise, she still is the same character at the end. A headstrong leader who loves her people, the ocean, duty-bound, that wants to make her parents proud. I see no character change. That’s a terrible mistake.

And it’s a problem because Moana’s character arc is so clearly meant to be “The Heroes Journey”. She is forced to leave home to a fantastical adventure to save her friends, and comes back the better for it. Except she doesn’t and that’s frustrating because it doesn’t help the routine nature of the story to where I can predict the exact moment Maui shows back up, or that Te Ka was really Te Fiti in my first viewing. And the fact that Maui shows up for literally no reason at all.

No, no, hear me out. In every instance that they were in danger, did Maui once care for Moana’s well-being at all? Nooooooo. With the Kakamora, he doesn’t begrudgingly pursue her and the chicken. When they enter Lalotai, and she gets flung away, he doesn’t go after her with huff-and-puff. Or even at least debate with himself about it. The Mini-Maui doesn’t count- he acts as his own character. He uses her a bait for pete’s sake. Yes, this is before we get the heart-warming speech and the cute montage about learning to Wayfind, but it almost comes too little too late for me in the overall narrative. Here’s Maui, severely doubting himself thanks to his hook being broken, pretty much thinking that he could die should he go back, and too hurt to listen to a mortal who isn’t even sure in her own ‘chosen-ness’. How am I supposed to believe that he has a “I better go after her” epiphany when he hasn’t shown such inclination before? A small nitpick, yes, but that was also something that took me out of my suspense of disbelief.

But all this diatribe about character ties into the third point:

I could not perceive one strong underlying message

Mostly, this comes from Moana developing the “self-worth” issue out of nowhere, the conflicting nature of the duty vs wants thread and the ‘self-worth’ thread, and the fact that we still don’t get a concrete answer on why the ocean chose her in the first place. WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY?

I’ve seen someone argue that the ocean chose her because Moana shows compassion and an understanding of people, but I don’t see that in the exposition or the rising action until she comforts Maui. Too little, too late for me to believe that’s why the ocean chose her. You could say it’s because she’s drawn to the sea, but so was her father, and he didn’t get picked. So could any of the fishermen, and none of them got picked. So could the kid that pulled out the weird dance moves and winked at her (they are all descended from voyagers, after all) but he didn’t get picked. You could argue that her helping the baby sea turtle was a demonstration of this compassion, but it’s still forgetting the understanding of people, and she is a baby who has yet to grow into her own. Not buying it.

So this leaves the “the ocean chose me for a reason” declaration rather….. empty-feeling. I still have no idea as to why it choose to do so. You could argue it’s because she had the headstrongness to contend with Maui’s personality, but like I said- baby. Not buying it. Why does the water have to keep itself secret from her parents anyway? You’d think it’d be easier to find someone willing to go if they knew there was an element of truth to the old legends.

So we don’t have “Be ____ and you will succeed” sort of story. Which leaves us with the “self-worth” plot that could have honestly been so much more well done if Moana had been established as the sort of character to have that flaw in the beginning. But because that’s half-baked, it leaves me leaving the theater thinking “what’s the message?” And not in a good way. Every story needs a message, a theme, a warning, or a central idea, because that’s why we seek out stories- to gain information about how to deal with certain feelings or situations should they arise. Moana gives me nothing. Even after sitting down to think about it, I’m left with two half-baked ideas that can’t become that message in its own right. Therefore they compete in the worst way and have me think that perhaps that there is no message. And you could perhaps pull that off with flash fiction or a short film, but for a fairytale- which has it’s very genesis on cautionary tales and messages- that’s bad.

After writing all of this, what irks me the most is that it didn’t have to be this way. If there was better writing, we could have had something new and fresh while still sticking to the heroes journey and “self-worth” arcs that try to make themselves present.

There’s no need to continue, but I have some ideas to modify the plot so these issues might get a little resolution. Not a ‘be all, end all’ certainly, and i can’t claim to be a story-writing genius, so take this next section with a grain of salt

How I would re-write Moana:

I would latch onto the line describing Wayfinding from Maui- “You find out where you’re going, by knowing where you’ve been.” In my opinion, the theme of Wayfinding was underused.  Or rather, wasn’t set up in well in the beginning.

Act 1:

Pua is no longer a pig- since HeiHei was the true animal sidekick all along, I’ve changed them to Moana’s contemporary. Boy, girl, I don’t care, but they need to be Moana’s age and her close friend that may or may not be related. We begin in the same place- Grandmother telling the tale of Te Fiti and Maui to a group of toddlers. Nothing much changes except for a new sequence- when baby Moana reaches the fronds before the shore, she grows into Small Child Moana, who is now playing on the shore with her friends.

They are having a ball, playing in the sand, running in and out of the ocean. Moana is shown to have more of a connection to the sea than her peers- she’s peaceful, completely in the water. A piece of driftwood comes by, and gets on it, now drifting away from the caretaker (or one of her parents) mostly concerned with the other children. We have the “choosing” scene, but now it’s in contrast to other peers that stay mostly on land, and they don’t have a spirit that makes they push in the face of adversity (hence a subtle hint to why the ocean chose the kid). Her parents find her- far from her original spot- and launch into “Find Happiness Right Where You Are”

With this song, here’s where the species switch with Pua starts to come about- Moana is shown, during the length of the song, to have a friend that she repeatedly engages in shenanigans with, but Pua doesn’t gravitate towards the ocean as she does. In fact, in comparison to Pua, Moana is shown to be a little less assured- little falters in her movements here and there. Not enough to catch it on the first go around, but definitely evident on the second. The segment following is when a grown Moana and her father are training her leadership skills, and Pua happens to follow along. Moana is doing the physical, headstrong work to solve the problems, but it’s Pua that interacts with people just a hair faster than Moana, creating a dichotomy of two friends who perhaps both equally able to lead. Moana does mind it quite a bit (as we see through body language), but doesn’t say anything because Pua is her friend. (There is still the aside with Coconut lady saying “she’s doing great!”) Insecurity comes in with the hula scene- Moana is good, but she’s alternating between watching the children dance and watching Pua dance slightly better alongside them.

Then we get to the issue about the fish, and once the problem is presented to be quite serious the two friends take different approaches- Pua immediately begins to talk different ways they could find new fishing venues in the lagoon with that adults, but Moana hops up on a boat and asks that question- “what if we fished beyond the reef?”

The argument with her father goes the same until the end, where I propose adding a new line- “Why can’t you be more like Pua- not entertaining fancies of the ocean?” (or something like that) Pua looks uncomfortable, along with the fisher dudes, and then the final line- “Every time I think you’re past this.” As her father stalks off, Pua comes up to talk, but Moana shuts them off by turning away, shrugging off the hand they try to put on her shoulder. Now the line “I wish I could be the perfect daughter,” in “How Far I’ll Go” has more weight to it.

I’ve always wished they explained why Moana was so good fighting the Kakamora, so in the next scene with her mother, Moana is hitting airborne coconuts, rather than throwing wood into the sand.

Act 2:

Everything is pretty much the same (a little bit more emphasis on her uncertainty to leave, and her headstrong believe in the fact that someone has to return the Heart, and cutting out the ‘twitter’ and ‘princess’ lines) until we get to the Kakamora. Here Moana is shown to be very competent getting HeiHei back- but he’s already spit up the Heart of Te Fiti on the Kakamora ship, and she doesn’t notice until they’ve already sailed a good distance away and the leader of the Kakamora is holding up the stone in victory. She argues with Maui to get it back, but he says to go after it would be death, so they strike the deal to get his hook back.

Wayfinding has its introduction, and we cut out the nightmare sequence.

In Lalotai, when Moana bounces away, Maui looks over the precipice, and instead of saying “weeeell, she’s dead,” He gives a begrudging sigh. We cut away to Moana’s misfortune until Maui saves her from an additional creature, after she outwits a couple others. Besides that, the scene continues much the same, only while Tamatoa preys on Maui’s insecurities rather harshly, he also indirectly touches on Moana’s insecurity on the sea’s decision of her. (I rather like the emotional weight of ‘Shark head’)

After Lalotai, Maui begins to teach Moana Wayfinding in earnest, and they begin the journey to the home islands of the Kakamora. Maui and Moana have that talk about Maui’s own personal journey, and each gain a little more respect in each other’s eyes. Once they come to the Kakamora island, they hash out a plan to retrieve the Heart- Maui believes Moana should stay behind, and we get the first argument to show that Moana is still a headstrong girl with leadership capabilities. Her plan ultimately is the best, and they move forward into it- Maui distracts the Kakamora while Moana goes clandestine and finds the Heart. In fighting off the Kakamora who notice her, Moana comes upon a ceremony where it is revealed that the Kakamora are trying (and failing) to use the Heart to revive their island from the darkness that has come to claim it. It is much worse and devastating than the decay on her island, and she stares up at it in horror, asking herself- “is this what will happen to my island?” The pause gives the Kakamora an upper hand in the battle- Maui now must come and save Moana. They retrieve the heart and battle their way back out of there, but now Maui is not completely sure of Moana’s ability to lead- and subtly, neither is she. They set course towards Te Fiti, and there’s more of an emphasis on character building in Wayfinding and conversation between Moana and Maui- Moana grows more confident in her skills and we get the sweet speech before we head into the battle.

Act 3:

The battle goes down the same, (there’s a base for Maui to disbelieve Moana’s headstrong leadership in the heat of battle now) and Maui leaves after an additional line about how he’s not following Moana to their doom. Last blow to Moana’s confidence before he takes off and we get to the Ghost Reprise scene. Moana doesn’t give the Heart back to the sea (she has too many people depending on her, not to) but she does sobbingly question whether she should seek out someone else to take the task. Ghost Grandma comes onto the scene and we get the confidence builder- only now it’s reinforced by another line- “Afterall, look at where you’ve been-“ and Ghost Grandma gestures towards the adventures she’s had coming towards the island- the Kakamora home Island is seeable in the distance, and the other islands- The Gate to Lalotai, the Broken Kakamora ship, Motunui, are represented by stars. And as the ghost ships of Wayfinders flit past, Moana realized the experiences she’s gone through and her desires make her who she is, and leader or not, it is she who has to continue on to Te Fiti for the people who depend on her journey and her goal.

That’s pretty much it for the rewrite- to be honest, I was disappointed in the reveal that there was no final boss, but the message to take confidence in where you’ve been and where you’ve got to go takes much more weight when Moana demonstrates her mastery of understanding the concept in reaching out to Te Ka. She then returns to Motunui confident in what she’s learned (she and Pua share a hug, but now we see their relationship in a different light) and we get that sweet Ending Reprise. Only know it has more meaning because the philosophy behind Wayfinding- “Knowing who you are by knowing where you’ve been” is much stronger and is the main message.

Thanks to all the people who took the time to read to the end. You’re wonderful!