#“he's so protective over the people her loves” babygirl ur one of those people

[jonathanbyersphd]

Nancy has scary dog privilege

[choerrysjubiles]

Sweet as Honey

pairing: shotaro x fem!reader

warning: smut! ovulation, reader is eating her cum (a lot), protected sex, cunnilingus, aftercare :D

wc: 2.3k

a/n: when I ovulate I fixate on people and babygirl shotaro its ur time to shine

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Normally ovulation was something you dreaded. Hours of uncomfortable, insatiable desire that couldn't have been spurred at the worst times. Not being able to get yourself off for hours at a time. 

But when you were able to, it felt indescribable.

The waves of desire washing over you was addicting; every sense felt heightened. Touch expanded past your skin, smell was stronger and lasted a second longer, taste was amplified.

You felt yourself crash onto the bed, wrinkled bedsheets and duvets from your squirming and hands balling the fabrics. Your eyes dilated with heavy lids as your deep breaths shook you while staring down Shotaro. Those waves crashing over your body once more.

Shotaro felt that he enjoyed this almost as much as you did. Being a people pleaser has never been so rewarding. Leaning to half lay on you, he kissed your cheek, loving your confession of ovulating.

"What's sensitive this time?"

You felt your breath hitch, "My breasts."

He kissed along your cheekbone and jawline as his hand traveled to your breast, hand perfectly covering your tit as he began pressing and massaging. Leaning in and properly kissing your lips, you felt yourself groan, hand grabbing and moving his deeper into your breast.

Adjusting to straddle your lap, Shotaro put both hands across your breasts, massaging and teasing with your shirt and bra straps. Detaching, he pulled your shirt off, a smirk was displayed on his face. He was gonna remember this sight: your flushed cheeks, teeth biting down on your lip, eyes glossy and pleading up at him.

He began crawling backwards, kissing down your neck and teeth grazing your collarbones. Kissing his way between your breasts, Shotaro noticed how quick your breath became. Shallow and quick as your hands moved to his neck.

Hands cupping the underside of your bra, Shotaro began licking the skin peaking above the fabric. His tongue was warm as it licked across your skin, juxtaposing the cold air stinging the wet traces. Your fingers laced in his hair, holding onto the base of his skull, as you began sighing in pleasure.

Moving his hands behind you, your back already beginning to arch off of the bed, Shotaro unclasped your bra and bent down to latch onto one of your nipples. Your skin felt buzzing and warm, feeling the cool air hitting your skin begin to raise as Shotaro made light sucking sounds.

Letting go with a light pop sound, Shotaro gave broad licks across your nipple before leaning back in for a smaller suck. Feeling your nipple harden, Shotaro switched to your other breast as his hand moved to tweak and tease your moist one.

You felt your hips grind and buck upwards at Shotaro, plenty of his body weight was holding you flushed to your bed. He enjoyed this so much, seeing you gasp and squirm as he looked up at you, breast in mouth, saliva dripping down your skin. You looked at him, eyes blown out, cheeks flushed, brows furrowed in desperation.

Pushing your breasts together, Shotaro gave broad licks to both nipples, slowly seeing them flush red as he lapped at them. Tongue prodding at one nipple before the other, his hands moved to better cup your breasts as his pointer finger began flicking at the sensitive tips.

"Shotaro." You mewled.

He looked up at you, eyes wide while a trail of saliva connecting him to your breasts. 

"Yes."

"Fuck me."

He moved down to reattach to your nipples, giving one last suck before kissing down your ribcage.

"First, I'd like to eat."

He kissed and gave light sucks onto your skin as he moved downwards, stopping at the shorts you had on. He slowly drug them down your legs, tucking your knees upwards as he threw them off. Opening your knees he saw a large wet spot along your panties.

Adjusting on the bed, Shotaro got as close as he could to your soaked core.

"Look at you." He teased, fingers rubbing the wet spot.

"Taro"

"Yes?" 

"Don't tease me."

Shotaro frowned at you, "But it's so fun."

He leaned in and dropped a kiss on your clit, feeling your legs jump and close in around his head. Leaning to the side, he licked a broad stripe across your inner thigh.

"Taro."

His arms snaked around to massage your hips and rub up and down your thighs.

"You're so sensitive. how sweet do you think you taste?"

Feeling your hips rise he heard you gasp out: "So sweet."

Leaning in to lick at your panties, Shotaro groaned as he leaned away,

"So sweet."

He maneuvered your panties off of one leg, bending your knee and slowly dragging it along your skin, looking down at your core he saw you clench around nothing.

Slipping them off of your other leg, Shotaro threw your panties behind him as he got comfortable again.

Leaning in as close as he could to your heat, his hands wrapped around your thighs, warm hands resting along your hips and stomach. You were feeling bubbles of nervousness at the sight, your thighs spread and legs wrapped around Shotaro, him staring down at your pussy as you felt more arousal drip out of you.

"Can you start?" You whined.

"So many places I wanna lick, where do you want me to start?"

You groaned.

"C'mon, I could start by drinking up the cum leaking out of you."

Shotaro felt your legs shake as he said that.

"Or i could start with a," He leaned in close to push his hot breath onto you, "wide stripe upwards."

"Taro."

"Or should i start licking at your clit?"

You were a mess, your breathing was shaky, your hips were bucking upwards. You wanted him to do everything, him to ravish you and lick you dry.

"Should i finger you? Rub your clit and feel how wet you are?"

"I want your tongue." You sighed out, "I want your tongue licking me up."

"Where?"

Your legs tried closing in around your clit before Shotaro opened them,

"My clit."

Leaning in, Shotaro waited a second, teasing you, before stiffening his tongue to give you a harsh lick. Your moan was loud and echoed on the walls. Shotaro savored your taste before relaxing his tongue and giving your clit a smaller, kitten lick. You bit your lip as you gave him a muffled sigh.

Shotaro continued licking downwards, lapping at your clit before traveling towards your opening. He tilted his head as he lapped at the sweet honey dripping out of you, suctioning on and sucking out as much as he could.

He began slurping and flicking his tongue at your entrance, moving back up to your clit as he gave a long, slow lick. Your moans were music to his ears as he applied more weight against you.

He moved his tongue to your entrance, prodding at it before thrusting his tongue in and out, moaning into your pussy as he felt you clench around the tip of his tongue.

"You're so sweet, baby."

You looked at him, brows furrowed, cheeks hot, mouth agape as you panted.

"Am I?"

Shotaro crawled up to your face, you leaned in to kiss him as he leaned away.

"Lick me."

His eyes were dark and full of lust, mouth was covered in you arousal. Leaning back in, he let you look for a spot to lick. You leaned into his lips before your tongue licked across his bottom lip, groaning at your taste. You moved to the corner of his mouth, licking your cum off of his skin.

The feeling of your tongue drag across his face was almost overwhelming, Shotaro held your cheek as he kissed you. His tongue dragging across hers as yours, tasting even more of yourself.

Feeling a large flood of arousal drip out of you, you grabbed onto Shotaro's hand before dragging it down to your core. Holding his fingers and pushing them between your folds, every move was audible with a light, wet sound.

Detaching from each other, Shotaro brought his dripping fingers to your mouth. You opened your lips to latch and suck on them, staring into his eyes as you moaned at the taste. Your tongue only being visible as you licked between his fingers before closing your lips arounds them and sucking them from tip to knuckle.

"You're as sweet as honey."

Dragging his fingers out of your mouth, "I see that now."

Shotaro moved back down to lap at your core, trailing up and down as he became drunk on your taste. Slurping your cum as he moved down and flicking his tongue along your clit as he moved up. You grabbed onto his shoulders, scratching and gripping his skin as Shotaro continued.

His tongue felt your clitoris grow stiff and your moans told him you were getting close to cumming. He took his right hand and prodded at your core, feeling two fingers easily glide into your entrance as he laid kisses onto your clit. Your head threw back, moaning in pleasure as he began pumping his fingers in and out of you.

"Keep going."

He licked at your clit as his fingers curled upwards. Your legs bending and straightening, hands going from his shoulders up to his hair. Feeling for his left hand, you brought it to your breast.

Continuing his licks, Shotaro alternated on how rough or light and how stiff his tongue was. Left hand tweaking your nipples as his right hand pumped his fingers into you.

"I'm gonna cum."

Your hands gripped his left forearm, feeling your orgasm come closer, you began babbling near nonsense.

"There, there, there, fuck! Fuck, you're good."

Your thighs tensed and closed around Shotaro's head as your orgasm came. Your eyes clenched shut, walls clamped around his fingers, your hands gripped his forearm tightly before you were able to relax and melt into the bed.

Moving away from your core, Shotaro kept your knees hooked along his shoulders, looking up at you with a wide smile.

"You're so hot."

"Can you fuck me?"

"Can i?" He laughed.

Leaning over to the nightstand, Shotaro grabbed at a condom. Wrapping himself, he stretched his back and neck, getting used to sitting upright. He tapped his head along your clit, loving the gasps and groans you sent his way.

Sliding into your warm core, Shotaro felt himself moan, eyes closed as his head tilted upwards. He slid in easily, your pussy was so wet he needed to calm himself from thrusting too soon. He rolled his head forward, eyes opening to see your soaked pussy welcome in his dick. 

Holding onto your thighs, Shotaro lifted one onto his shoulder, rolling his hips against your pelvis as he stared at your core getting pounded into by him. He slowly sped up, fluidly thrusting into you as you began grabbing at your bedding. Your breathing grew heavy as Shotaro fucked you.

His free had moved to her clit, lightly rubbing it, ghosting over the muscle, even.

"Shotaro." You moaned.

His eyes felt heavy as he looked up at you. His jaw was slack, feeling his saliva pool along his bottom lip as he watched you moan and squirm. Quickening his thrusts, Shotaro felt your walls suffocate his swollen dick.

"You like that?" He teased.

"Yes."

Shotaro continued thrusting, slowing down before speeding up or rubbing your clit with his fingers tensed together or barely touching it at all.

"Stop teasing." You were breathless, air puffing out of you as you were struggling to breath.

"But it's so fun." Shotaro said, leaning forward to push all the way in and stop.

He leaned down to be face to face with you, thigh stretched up, dick pushed inside you to his hilt, your clit was pulsing as you looked at Shotaro with desperate eyes. Shotaro slowly drug himself out of you, feeling every clench and hearing every gasp. Pushing back in he added more strength to his movement, pushing you up the pillow as he watched your breasts bounce lightly.

"Do that again." You cried.

Leaning down, he gave a peck on your cheek as he pulled out before giving another pound to your pussy.

"Ah! There!"

Moving quicker, Shotaro continued plowing into you. Every thrust made you moan or gasp or cry. Feeling your head grow closer to their headboard, you snaked your hand down to rub your clit.

Just a few circles in you felt your walls clench around Shotaro, still pumping himself in and out of you. Stopping, Shotaro felt himself cum, head falling into your neck as he heard your moans.

"Fuck, you're gonna cut my dick off of me." He laughed, carefully pulling out.

You laughed, "Am I?"

Shotaro disposed of the condom as he grabbed a rag from the nightstand. Carefully he wiped your core, scooping up as much cum as he could from you. Folding the cloth over, he wiped your face and thighs before going to throw the rag into their laundry.

"You gotta clean yourself, too!" You called out to Shotaro.

"Me?" He asked.

"You have cum all over your face."

"Huh." He walked to the bathroom, seeing the dried cum littering his mouth and cheeks.

"Oh my god." He turns the faucet on as he grabs a wash cloth, attempting to scrub his face clean.

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas�� general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[ravenofthefandoms]

Here are my thoughts on S8E2!

REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER

If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful

ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:

- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?

- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”

- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion

- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be

- Bran is great fuckin hilarious

- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ

- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know

- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”

- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry

- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout

- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it

- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man

- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?

- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf

- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on

- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE

- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion

- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker

- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven

- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no

- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her

- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck

- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”

- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.

- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other

- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi

- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy

- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen

- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it

- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????

- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE

- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch

- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch

- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?

- This bitch big stupid

- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe

- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)

- THEOOOOOOON YAS

- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB

- Suddenly I ship Theonsa

- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life

- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?

- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??

- I heart Gilly

- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO

- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES

- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first

- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle

- “The big woman”

- We love a Jon Snow pep talk

- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”

- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight

- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK

- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)

- Need it for what? Taking over the north?

- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger

- Stark fam looking badass as fuck

- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable

- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking

- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment

- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE

- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG

- Ghost is that you homie????

- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil

- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”

- I love this banter with my whole entire heart

- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband

- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure

- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw

- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW

- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug

- What a squad

- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH

- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit

- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside

- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying

- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP

- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul

- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there

- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???

- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”

- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch

- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”

- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS

- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON

- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK

- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)

- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK

- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”

- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT

- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care

- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT

- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it

- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED

- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime

- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable

- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole

- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK

- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.

- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???

- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode

- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts

- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it

- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn

- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good

- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE

- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry

- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself