#“They don't invite middle schoolers 😭”

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

Another lost Azzi Fudd podcast from April 2020! You gotta get through a bunch of intro stuff to get to her and the sound cuts in and out but it is still great! The hosts love her and seem to know her.

Lol she mentions that when she comes back from FIBA tournaments, the three point line in high school is like a pull up for her. That made me laugh.

She talks about Paige during that first tryout at USA basketball in a bit more detail.

As the hosts say, she's just so well-spoken and poised.

Hardest quote for sure was: "I don't count shots I take, I count makes." And she makes 500 shots a day.

Enjoy!

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/BallNGems/episodes/2021-Top-Prospect-5-11-PG-Azzi-Fudd-ec8lo0

-🔎

I think this is my favorite podcast of hers, the hosts have fun and really highlight her personality and what an incredible player she is. Plus, her voice is crystal clear, which makes me want to ask Azzi to do more podcasts and interviews; I could listen to her for hours.

Of course, she had to bring up Paige and how great she is but I guess they did ask a related question so I'll let it pass.

And my fav quotes: "And also getting to compete against the boys, getting to shoot against them and beating them is also a lot of fun 😏".

However, this one like you said was cold af:

[mirllop]

Bakugou coming out to his parents...

I think it'd go a little something like this.

Bakugou: Hey, hag. Old man. I have a boyfriend. Mitsuki: Okay? You brat, you think I care that you're gay? Masaru: Son, thank you for trusting us with this! We accept you. Who is your boyfriend? Bakugou: Kirishima. Mitsuki: Invite him over for dinner. Bakugou: No. A few violences later Kirishima: Woah, your parents want me over for dinner? That's awesome! Bakugou: Hmph.

Bakugou knew he was gay since middle school but just never bothered to tell his parents. He only came out to them when he told them about Kirishima. 😭

"They don't need to know I'm gay. They wouldn't care anyway. I'll just bring home a boyfriend and come out to them that way!" This was what middle schooler Bakugou planned. And, in true Bakugou fashion, that is pretty much exactly what he did.

[shock]

hey! ik you work at a school and based on how you post about it, you really care a lot about your job and it seems like the kids really like and trust you. i'm about to start a job as a para working 1:1 w/ a middle schooler, and my prior experience is all tutoring college students- do you have any tips on getting kids that age to engage w/ you? im worried ill be awkward around him and he'll think im cringe 😭 would really appreciate any advice u have to give

middle schoolers are developmentally in a place where they are experimenting with independence for the first time. they will test rules, boundaries, expectations. be clear and consistent but not rigid. if you make it integral to your relationship and their success that they tell you what motivates them, they have agency, and that you want to work WITH them, they may not believe that immediately but the more you prove it the easier it will be to know how to support them.

if you know anyone who has worked with this student before, ask about and be ready to filter the information you learn. I ask questions like "do you remember a day that was successful, and how did you get there?". ask "was there a time you felt that you connected?". "What strategies did you find helpful?".

I don't always agree with all of my colleagues in their approach or their view of the kid in front of them, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them and apply it in my own way. about the same student, I was warned that successful only happened when they were elevated by using a neutral tone and that they will try to trick me so be aware of that. another said that they are very funny and sometimes needs pressure to be grounded- when I suggested a weighted shoulder blanket, she lit up and said "that would be an awesome idea!!". another colleague said that they do very well with expectations given in the form of "If X happens, my expectation is to [action]". I can keep all of these things in mind and also not let them be more deciding than the kid that I will have in front of me.

You have your own style and that can be translated to a lot of ages if you take steps to learn to communicate with them and dont make them feel stupid or inexperienced. I invite suggestions and try to apply their voice as appropriate and safe. I don't make promises I can't keep, and if I can't keep them I am upfront about it. Model integrity and honesty.

Also, because of the rapid development both hormonally, socially, physically, 6th, 7th, and 8th are all WILDLY different. The ways I can talk to my 8th graders about deeply personal social-emotional reflections doesn't look the same my 6th or 7th graders. You'll naturally find out where your student lies in terms of maturity and understanding, and there will be a LOT of growth in a single year.

Kids will accept and grow fond of your cringe if they know you express it in solidarity and from a willingness to learn. Anything will be cringe if they want to haze you for it, including things YOU SEE THEM DOING ALL THE TIME 🤣 I tell my kids all the time that there are things that come naturally to them that amaze me and impress me that I don't know about. I put my kids in positions to be teachers. Being cringe is a natural part of working with kids and its ok to be silly and weird IF you are there for them when it counts. IF you don't patronize, condescend, or talk down to them. They are intelligent, thoughtful, and often know much much more than they ever say. They are extremely resilient. they will genuinely think you are just as likely 17 or 40 years old no matter what age you are. Don't worry about being awkward or cringe, take steps to understand the passions and joys of your students. Be willing to suck at things they excel at. Be willing to play basketball with them even though you suck ass, and ask them how to improve. Be willing to make bracelets that are so fucking ugly they're worth laughing about while they're making 400-braid works of art. Acknowledge when they have skills you aren't familiar with. They will learn to appreciate yours if they know you see theirs.

They don't accuse me of being lame when I act goofy, to them it's just part of who "Mr. Jack" is. I'm not above getting pranked. I'm not above getting razzed on. Im not above getting something wrong. I'm a professional who knows how to navigate systems and wants to share that with them. I explain why things happen. I answer "why" with a genuine, thoughtful response. Middle schoolers always want to know why, and if they don't know why by the time they get to high school because it's been held hostage by people in power, they believe there is no "why". I never say "just because" or "It's the right thing to do". I say what will come out of it. If I ever have to report something happening or have to have another colleague help with a mandated reporting/need help from social work to wrap around, I never just do it. I say things like "you know, X is someone I really trust and respect here. They have more information than I do and I think if we worked together we would be able to really find a solution, can we try to do that". I explain that I will never abandon them or shove them on others or destroy our trust, but I have Profesional obligations and that I will walk through the whole process with them. I have sat in ambulances with kids. I have stayed into the night at hospitals with kids. I have exercised my right to refuse to send a kid home out of an immediate safety concern and updated them the entire time what every call I made was about, what I did and did NOT share, checked in with them... and my worst fear of ruining my relationship with a kid and destroying their trust has not happened because I make sure that the pieces are not moving around them while they are helpless. So much is already out of their control.

I have coached multiple students who admitted to me that they vaped or smoked, and i think this is a good example of applying that mindset: My job isn't tell them to stop because it's bad. My job is to say "look, I'm not going to say what everyone else has told you or pretend that I've never done something that could harm my body. Anything you do, I want you to do research and use that to decide what is worth it." And I share knowledge, we get to the root of it, we talk about the reasons, we talk about the risks. One of my students who smoked nicotine without parents knowing didn't know that it would seriously impact a surgery they had coming up that they had been waiting for their whole life and were excited for. Me sharing that information not with the threat of consequences but with a need for them to understand how to move forward was how we got to develop a plan to quit that was seen through.

Sorry that was a lot of rambling!! Basically work as a team and find ways to come up with strategies together. You can be professional, "in charge", and provide direction without insulting the newly budding agency your middle schoolers are unfortunately learning that they don't have in a lot of environments. Start EVERY SINGLE DAY new. I have bad days and have cried because of how hurtful something was from a student, but I don't let that stop me from greeting them in the morning, or feeling like they have a right to education, or that they can't try to do things differently. They're incredibly impulsive, and you will have an hour long conversation that seems to really sink, and the second you get out of the room they will still immediately do the thing they shouldn't. Over time with consistency they really do change, and it's normal for that to not be always immediate. Days, weeks, years... sometimes you won't even see that growth, and that's really hard, but you have to trust that it will happen.

[purplespacecats]

that is a /fantastic/ quote oh my god i love her 😭and also i had really wondered how she felt now having had the fear that being out would mean she'd only be known for being gay--and god that's such a great and accurate way of understanding it, that she /is/ known for her art--we call her lesbian jesus /because/ of her art and how we connect with it

.....but tbh the author of this article. should not have been assigned to this story

like throughout i had qualms bc they led by describing curious as an "ode to a complicated crush on a woman," which is ????? like, did they listen to the wrong song ???

because the song is certainly about a complicated relationship, but def not a "crush" it amounts to "my ex needs to get over me bc i sure tf ain't gonna be her side chick"--so mis-describing that as a ~complicated crush on a woman~ seems like just not being able to conceptialize what hayley is so adamant about expressing: women having feelings for other women and /not/ being conflicted about it

so then i already had qualms when i got to them describing her fans as mostly middle schoolers and high schoolers, which. wouldn't be a bad thing if it were true, but i mean. when i saw her perform she said it was the biggest show she'd headlined, & it was sold out, so i feel like that's a decent representation of her fanbase, and it was like 90% millennials. i'm sure that's partly because obv adults have an easier time going to concerts than teens (and the fact that younger queer girls have her to look up to during middle and high school fills my heart with boundless joy!!!) but just given its inaccuracy, that description of her fanbase... kinda seems like shade, tbh???

then they ran with that and said hayley's fans put her into the role of "elder statesman" of the queer community ???????

-deep sigh- god anyways like i don't mean to derail; the fact that tswift invited hayley to perform is wonderful and i'm so happy for her

@VanityFair: “I wanted to be known for my art,“ says @HayleyKiyoko. "And what happened was that I am known for my art, and the art is gay”