#“I met Mickey in third grade. I asked him for a pencil and he told me he'd stab me if I ever talked to him again”

[totallynotaterrorist]

It's so funny how after the prison reunion in s9 everyone thought Ian and Mickey would have to hide their sexuality and relationship from everyone there, and instead they made their relationship everyone's problem. Like, guards and prisonmates alike begging them to stop bickering, asking around for relationship advice (shoutout to Mickey reaching out to his nazi dad's old friends), and everyone being shocked at how bad their communication skills actually are.

Where angst was expected, we got full Stupid Husbands comedy, and that deserves some love

[sculmeetsbody-blog]

Cowboys and Angels |Selfie

Characters: Ella-Mae Gardner, Noah Winchester, other minor characters?

Summary: A quick glimpse into the past, also I love making myself sad, weeeee~

We ride side by side, A cloud of dust, a ray of light. My touch is her temptation, Her kiss is my salvation. She's sweet, I'm wild, we're dangerous.

Sunlight and dust filtered through the high school hallway, giving the morning a beautiful haze as Ella-Mae opened her locker for the first time. You’re a woman now, her mama told her that morning, bein’ a freshman and all. Ella-Mae wasn’t sure it marked womanhood for her, but it was certainly a new step. Her older brothers had already warned her about freshman hazing, though they were positive no one was going to mess with her-- either by her charm and notoriety from middle school, or because they’d lay the hurt on anyone who tried.

“Ellaaaaa!” She heard a squealing down the other end of the hall, peering past the metal sheen of the locker with glee.

“Annabelle!” She shrieked right back, throwing her bag in the locker and slamming it shut, running to throw her arms around her friend. She never knew why they had this reaction every start of the year, since they always saw each other all summer, but it was tradition at this point.

“Oh my gosh, Ella-Mae, I am so excited ‘bout classes this year! Do you have algebra first period?” 

“Yeah, do you?”

“Of course!” 

The two jabbered on for a bit as others began to filter into the halls. Ella-Mae had been so caught up in sharing stories with her friend that she almost missed the double-doors of the main hall swinging open and a figure striding in. Almost.

Her eyes rose as the dust kicked up again, and there he was. Tall, curly-haired, eyes bright and shoulders broad. Whatever Annabelle was saying turned into a background drone as her heart thudded in her ears. His overshirt flew back as he strutted in, the taut white shirt beneath it catching the sunlight and adding an extra little glow to him.

“Good Lord almighty,” Ella-Mae whispered under her breath, Annabelle stopping in her tracks and turning to face what was consuming her friend’s attention. Ella-Mae’s mouth went dry as he walked towards them, seeing his eyes shifting about, that walk of his so sure and steady. Their eyes met, he flashed the most dazzling smile she’d ever seen in her life, and she thought her heart had stopped entirely. He gave a nod and a quick, “ladies” as he passed by, and Ella-Mae could feel her entire body flush, fingertips tingling and cheeks burning. She waited until she heard his footsteps melt back in with the others before turning to Annabelle.

“Who is that?” She managed to choke out. Annabelle giggled, nudging her friend as they looked over their shoulder to his parting figure. 

“What do you mean, who’s that? That’s Noah Winchester. I didn’t know he was comin’ over from St. Mary’s...”

“He’s a St. Mary’s boy?” Ella-Mae wracked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen him around town. No, she would have recognized that face.

“Hell yeah he is. He was on their middle school football team. Real rough rider, I heard. Wouldn’t surprise me if he tries to take over quarterback for our team.”

“Hell, wouldn’t surprise me if he got it, too,” Ella-Mae said softly. 

“Doubt it, he’s only a freshman too. Sure, he’s tall an’... built... but ain’t no one our team gonna’ let him run the show.” 

“He’s only a Freshman? But he’s so tall, an’... Cute.”

“Good lord, Ella-Mae, you lookin’ to start the school year with a crush?” Her friend teased, playfully ribbing her again. Ella-Mae turned to fully watch the boy continue down the hall, a smile curled on her lips.

“Nah, Annabelle, ain’t no crush. I’m gonna’ marry that boy.” 

Her parents had been so thrilled she’d made it onto the cheerleading team in her freshman year, and she was beside herself with pride. Classes, on the other hand, they weren’t her forte. She’d heard once you were on the squad, grades didn’t matter, but they did with her dad. It was already third quarter, and her grades were sinking, particularly in algebra. Maybe it was because Noah was in her class, sitting towards the front, while she cowered in the back near the pencil sharpener. They had just gotten back another test, with a big fat D in bold red on her paper. She sighed and slouched in her chair, as the teacher gave them their working time, not noticing, somehow, that Noah passed her until he was over her shoulder.

“Hell, girl, how’d you get yourself a D on that test?” She pouted and glared up at him, though she couldn’t bring herself to be truly angry. Not with him grinning down at her.

“Hey, grades ain’t everything,” she retorted, but she felt a little bit of shame in her grade. ...Not a little, quite a bit. She ran a hand through her hair, a frown crossing her lips. “I’m tryin’.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his expression soften. Without a word, he gathered up the books on her desk.

“Hey, what’re you--” She stood up as he walked towards the front of the class, standing up and shuffling behind him. She saw him lean down to the person in the seat next to him, a boy whose name she didn’t know.

“Hey pal, you mind takin’ Ella-Mae’s seat back there? She’s gonna’ sit up here so I can help her.” There was something about Noah, she’d already discovered: People were so willing to bend over backwards to be friendly to him. Maybe it was because he didn’t seem to have a mean bone in his body. The boy nodded and picked up his books, giving Ella-Mae a smile before taking her previous seat. Noah set the books on the empty desk and looked back to Ella-Mae.

“You’re ridin’ up here, girl. You got any questions, you holler on over to me an’ I’ll help you-- an’ tonight, you’re gonna meet me at Mickey’s, an’ we’re gonna do some more work together ‘til you get it.” Ella-Mae couldn’t find a single protest in mind as she shuffled over to the new desk, sitting down as Noah opened up her book back to the worksheet page. For the rest of the class period, he pulled his desk closer to hers, helping her through each question. Suddenly, algebra became Ella-Mae’s favorite subject.

The two sat across from each other at Mickey’s, a milkshake between the two of them with straws pointed in their directions. She thought after a year, she’d be tired of seeing those dimples and that wild hair, but she only loved it more.

“You know what today is?” Noah asked before casually taking a sip off of his straw.

“Whasat?” Ella-Mae propped her head up with her chin on her palms, elbows to the table.

“Today is a year ago since I asked you here to help you with your homework,” he replied, eyes dancing with delight.

“That was the flimsiest excuse for a first date, you know that, right?” She teased. The memory was burned into her mind, the way they’d sat there until closing just sharing stories and laughing. He had the best sense of humor, never without a smile on his face.

“Got your grades up though, dinnit?” He smirked, picking a fry from his plate to munch on. 

“What can I say? You’re almost as good a tutor as you are a boyfriend.”

“You think you’re real funny, don’tcha?”

“I reckon I am,” she giggled, her entire body lighting up when he reached out for her hand, locking their fingers together.

“I love you, Ella-Mae.” 

Those words never ceased to go to her head like a fine whiskey; no wonder she was constantly delirious with happiness.

“I love you too, Noah. Always, always, always.” 

They’d come a long way by senior year, with her as head cheerleader, rooting on the best quarterback Peach Grove High ever had. It all seemed like a blur, all the homecoming and prom winnings. Graduation was only a week away, and Noah had surprised her with a drive out to the countryside, beside a little brook in the golden fields. They laid in the back of his pick-up, staring up at the stars as she curled into his side. Noah had been strangely quiet all evening, but they’d both been nervous about graduating. 

“I got accepted into boot-camp,” he said quietly. Ella-Mae felt her heart drop; it was something they always talked about. She knew his daddy, and his daddy’s daddy, so on and so forth, had all been in the Marines. She knew it was what Noah wanted, but she always thought there would be more time, that he’d go to college first. 

“Oh,” she replied, just as softly.

“They want me in South Carolina in a few weeks.”

“...Well, that ain’t so far away. Few hours,” Ella-Mae whispered. 

“Yeah. Dunno’ where I’ll go after that, though. ...You could always come with me.”

“I already got everything set up with UGA. Daddy said he’s already got the money goin’ their way.” 

“...Oh.”

Silence fell between the two of them. There had never been such an unsettling, deafening silence that separated them. She closed her eyes, wishing it all away. She’d wake up and it would be the start of a bad dream she didn’t have to finish.

“...What do we do?” Noah asked in a strained voice.

“We could always try long-distance,” Ella-Mae offered. Noah said nothing-- they both knew it wouldn’t work. Not after seeing so many people in the years ahead of them try it and wind up breaking up weeks later, or cheating on one another. Not that they’d do the latter to each other... but distance seemed to have a funny way of changing people. 

“I love you,” Ella-Mae said softly into his chest. “Always, always, always.”

“I love you too, Elle. Don’t you ever forget that, you hear?” 

She nodded and shut her eyes again, listening to the cicadas and the grain rustling in the wind. 

She watched that beat-up pickup drive down the gravel road, her vision blurred with tears as she stood in the doorway. It’d been their last day, their last trip to Mickey’s, and their last goodbye. They hadn’t shared any parting gifts or momentos-- it almost seemed like it would make things worse. Just one last kiss, and one last “I love you” before he walked away, out of her life. Once the truck was out of sight, she staggered to her room, her parents watching silently, wishing there was something they could do to erase the pain. She shut the door, shut out the world, fell to her bed, and sobbed. She clutched the comforter, trying to block out every memory, every smile, every last bit of happiness they’d had together, because it was all a painful reminder that it was over now. It was all burned into her memory, though-- the way he walked through that hall the first time she saw him, the smell of his cologne when he leaned over her to explain variables, the taste of his lips after their first dinner at Mickey’s, the warmth of his chest when she held onto him as they rode around the fields on her horse, the sweat glinting off of his arms the first day he worked for her father on the ranch, the way he whispered ‘I love you’ the first time, at their Freshman end-of-year dance. Something so pure had turned into nothing but pain. She’d realize how silly she was a few years later, when she came to appreciate that love, and that time in her life-- but now, it only hurt.

Because she loved him. Always, always, always.