sแดสsแดแดแดแด แดสแดษดsแดษชssษชแดษด ๊ฐแดส : ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ@fasciinating ๏ผ๏ผ๏ผ
๐ธ๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข, ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐. ๐ธ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.ย ๐๐ท๐ด๐๐ด๐ต๐พ๐๐ด:
๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ง๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ยญ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.ย
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ
โ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐๐;
๐ค๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
Jamesโ uniยญform dangled over the bed, ripped open by MโBenga, who had treated him on the shuttle ride over to their Star Fleet medic base. Clumps of his skin had peeled away, and what was left of it was translucent. He was in and out of consciousness, his eyes stabbing open for a few seconds, to roll and go closed again.
โ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐,โ MโBenga spoke low when he addressed Steve; a grave tone heโd taken that James had heard cloud the medicโs brittle voice two dozen times over โ โ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.โ
James, ever a man who lived inside his own gallows humor, vied to rattle out some quip about not being too quick to stress out his Vulcan - some nonsense about how the stress will make his hair frizz. However, in place of dry humor came a sudden onset of a coppery flavor blooming up the back of his throat, followed with indecent haste by a well of blood pooling in his mouth; and just as quickly as heโd come into consciousness James slipped back into an inky black comatose. It would be quite a while longer before he would come back to the world of the waking [ several days, as it were ].
Be that as it may โ without the exceedingly skilled hands ( often referred to as the best in the fleet ) of Lenoard McCoy it is exactly certain that James Buchanan Barnes would not have survived the massive radiation burns and poisoning spewed over fifty-three percent of his body in the way of a concussive blast from a nightmarish explosive that was newly developed between the Kree and Romulans. Moreover the force of the blast with which James had been hit was so hard that the skin of his abdomen burst open enough for his own innards to start sliding their way out of his body.ย
What would anyone, anywhere, do without the Good Doctor Bones?
Fucking die holding their guts, as far as James could tell.
Opening his eyes sent a blinding white light of the med bay searing into his retinas; sending an abrupt wave of nausea that had James clenching his eyes closed, breathing slowly to avoid dry heaving. The second attempt was better, a slow opening of each eye that revealed a fairly vacant med bay. James wondered if maybe it was sometime in the middle of the night, but before he could process much of anything else โ a presence came into his peripheral.
A handy little space iPad ( no one in Star Fleet got this or found it funny, but James was only going to stop saying it when Rogers stopped laughing ) neatly held in those beautifully made hands that, on those alone, James had lost many hours of his life.ย
He was happy to lose a few more moments to them.
Raising a bandaged hand where the thumb was broken and the pinky burned so badly it was entirely bound, but the index, middle, and forefinger were well enough they could brush the smooth, always surprisingly soft, skin of the hand holding that nifty space tablet. They lingered there for as long as his strength and energy would allow, and even those cruelly brief moments of skin to skin was like water to a man on his last breath lost in the desert.ย
โ๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐
๐๐
๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐บ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ โ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐ช๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐,โ the laugh wasnโt mirthless, but it was exhausted, and more breathy which then evolved into a few deep coughs.ย
James settled back onto his pillow summoning the eye strength to look upward and hold Spockโs gaze โ wanting to tell him he missed, he loved him โ that laying in a fox hole a whole world, universe and time from his own; he still thought of Spock endlessly and constantly.ย
But now the words jumbled in his throat and something hot pricked in his eyes. Finally he looked away to stare abjectly at the ceiling, blinking rapidly to right himself.ย
โ๐บ๐๐๐๐,โ because James always was โ to everyone, for everything, but somehow โ especially right now.
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๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ his deathbed if not for the keen medical savvy of Bones, it was wild to James how so many could presume Vulcans โ or at the very least Spock specifically โ were somehow emotionally bankrupt. Emotions hung on Spock like ornaments to a tree, they just didnโt come in the way people โ very specifically humans โ anticipated or even understood.
James did have an edge in that arena; a coded part of spycraft is learning the language of emotions โ how to suppress them, use them to lie, hide a truth, cause pain. The otherside of the coin was knowing how to read them on the opposition with equal accuracy and fluency. A subtle art for a specific kind of warfare conducted on an entirely subliminal, even meta, theater. This was an art James Buchanan Barnes was conditioned by the most barbarous of methods and extremes to understand to perfection.
It was an art he still had to make use of in the current war.
Conversely, in moments like these that bloomed inside the pocket existence he held with Spock; it served as a tool with which he would use to observe art. Because that was what Spock often exhibited to James; ๐ด๐
๐ ๐ผ๐ ๐ด๐ต๐๐๐ฟ๐๐๐ผ๐๐.
The angular lines of his face that undulated only imperceptibly so or the slight and slow twinge in his left under-eye, faint drops or lifts appearing at the points of his mouth โ vanishing as quickly as they came, but above all else was the entire commotion of feeling anyone could find swirling around in dark, earthy eyes looking back at them. It all was there in clear and present sight โ a beautifully threaded tapestry of complex emotions disciplined to a unique extreme.
It just required someone to know what they were looking for, possess the patience to wait for it, and a wisdom stoic enough to know what lay exposed when presented.
James wouldnโt have called himself a wise man, but he would call himself a man in love; and while he didnโt believe that love could replace wisdom โ he did believe it was the rhythm for the brain to follow so it can keep a harmonious beat with the heart, so together they might allow James to intuit and understand the soft and subtle mysteries of the man before him.
Love also has a habit of eschewing pragmatic threads of thought away; instead allowing a person to simply feel their way through a thing as opposed to thinking.
That moment had James feeling the tips of fingers against his wrist and he did nothing in the way of thinking or thought when his only three functional digits clumsily scrambled to lace themselves through the spaces of the Vulcanโs long, tapered fingers and clamp down firmly.
Something in that igniting spark of touch lent to a piercing ache in his chest that was the ghost of pining left on the field of a ruined planet, the screaming caution not to leave, a sudden and vivid rush of the night spent together knotted-up inside long limbs and hard breathing โ it was sight without seeing and only feeling. The rapid succession of emotions felt to such high tiers they serve as a hallmark to navigate memory, and in so many memories that were false and manipulated, it was always a sense of feeling, something in the gut, that was a mile marker for truth.
๐๐๐๐๐ ; James loved him. He loved him in a way that felt irrevocable.
He wanted to say that. But he didnโt.
Instead he took in a very sharp breath and leveled his eyes to fall on Spockโs, โโ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐ ,โ he couldnโt hide the warmth that layered around his words like honey, โ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐโ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ .โ
There was a smile there that walked somewhere between cheshire and wolf, trying to mask the subtext of solemness that was inherent to his sentiment.
โ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐; ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฐ [ ๐คโ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ ] ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
,โ it was worth mentioning the lazarus-like vigor of James B. Barnesโ charm.
Even in his own depreciation, he still had time to flirt with his Vulcan.
๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐ / @fasciinating ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
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