#‘we’re calling you about your car’s extended warranty!’

[lilithknoxville]

oh hold on yall i gotta take this

johnny’s calling me

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] Event | A Postman Delivering Your Feelings | Episode 9

Tsuzuru: Guy-san and I have finished changing, so we’re ready to go on stage now.

Guy: Since all the seats but the ones in the front row are free, it seems that more people have come to see our performance with their families than just the usual fans of the company. 

Yuki: True. It does seem like there’s a pretty wide range of ages.

Sakyo: So you were able to successfully resolve that fight from earlier, Takato?

Tasuku: Yeah, they were able to work things out.

Misumi: Thank you for working so hard to serve customers while I was away from the booth, Masumi!

Masumi: It’s not like I really did that much, I had Director helping me out a bit, and all that really matters is that you managed to sort things out.

Izumi: I’m not only grateful for Misumi-kun and Tasuku-san, but I’m also grateful for the rest of you guys for being so adaptable and accommodating while those two were gone. So, thanks, everyone.

Izumi: The audience is a little different from the kind we’re used to, but make sure to have fun performing like you always do, okay?

Misumi: ‘Kaaay! We’re off!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Play Cast

Masumi - Riffle

Tsuzuru - Man/Lease

Yuki - Stamp

Misumi - Letra

Tasuku - Tiga

Guy - Carta

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: (A city in the near future filled with advanced technology. The young people living here have almost never used the post office.)

Izumi: (The number of post offices and their employees has been decreasing over the years, and letters sent out to the post offices are usually delivered by the office’s employees until the end of the day.)

Izumi: (Our story focuses on Letra and Riffle, who are working as new employees after easily getting the job due to the office’s understaffing.)

Envelope: “How many days did it take you to deliver that letter from the other day?”

Riffle: “I mean, the place was pretty far away, so.”

Envelope: “Regardless, it arrived way too late. What the hell were you doing…?”

Letra: “Whoa, Envelope-san’s really scary. I’m really glad that Tiga-san is my mentor!”

Stamp: “You’re supposed to call them senpai.”

Stamp: “Anyway, Tiga-senpai isn’t really all that different from Envelope-senpai, though.”

Letra: “He’s at least nicer when he gets mad!”

Stamp: “Maybe you should just stop doing things that make him mad in the first place.”

Stamp: “Letters are really important, so get going! And do it accurately! Make sure it gets delivered properly.”

Letra: “Hmph~, you’re only one year older than me, but you’re already so good at this, Stamp~.”

Tiga: “Stamp’s right. Both you and Riffle need to learn to stop taking detours and start taking your deliveries more seriously.”

Carta: “Even though Stamp is a newer employee, she knows just how important letters are and works very diligently.”

Carta: “That’s what we’re expecting from you and Riffle, Letra.”

Letra: “Got it, Chief Carta.”

Letra: “...That said~, I don’t even really know what a letter is exactly…”

Izumi: (New delivery employees usually deliver things together with the guidance of a senior employee, but sometimes they get to go out on their own to make deliveries.)

Izumi: (Taking letters by hand to places they’ve never heard of and heading in completely different directions after roughly deciding which way they’re supposed to go…)

Izumi: (The two newbies continue to do their work adequately every day.)

Letra: “Which house does this letter need to be delivered to~? Riffle, look for it with your binoculars!”

Riffle: “Got it. I’ll check right away.”

*Phone buzzes*

Riffle: “!”

Riffle: “…”

Letra: “Hm? Wasn’t that your terminal just now, Riffle?”

Riffle: “...It’s fine. Probably just someone trying to ask about my car’s extended warranty or something.”

Letra: “Huuuh…?”

Izumi: (One day, Letra and Tiga return from a long-distance delivery and are greeted by Stamp.)

Stamp: “Welcome back. Everyone’s doing deliveries right now. I’m just about to head out to do a delivery too, so if anyone shows us, make sure to deal with them. Later.”

Letra: “Okay, got it, see you later.”

Man: “…Um, excuse me…”

Tiga: “There’s a customer. Letra, you go help him.”

Letra: “Got it. …Hello~, do you have something to be delivered?”

Man: “I’d like to have this letter delivered, but…”

Letra: “You’ve even got a stamp on it. Alright, here, allow me to deliver it for you.”

Man: “…Wait, really?”

Letra: “? Yeah, I mean, that’s my job, so…”

Man: “Right. Then… please deliver this for me.”

*Man runs off*

Letra: “We hope you come again.”

Letra: “Okay, and the destination is… Huh, that’s…”

Tiga: “What’s wrong?”

Letra: “Nothing, just… It looks like it’s just addressed to Riffle instead of having a delivery address, but…”

Letra: “A letter for Riffle from someone who doesn’t even know his address, doesn’t it make that guy seem kinda suspicious…?”

Tiga: “...We’re not the ones to be the judge of that. Let’s go talk to the Chief.”

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Carta: “A letter addressed to Riffle? And the sender is…”

Carta: “...I see. Well, I supposed it’s time for him to face it.”

Carta: “Can you please give this letter to Riffle?”

Izumi: (Leaving the Chief’s office while nodding their heads, Letra asks Tiga if he knows anything about Riffle.)

Izumi: (Tiga also doesn’t have many of the details, but he tells Letra about the circumstances that led to Envelope becoming Riffle’s mentor.)

Izumi: (Having been told to give the letter to him, Letra gives it to Riffle when he returns from his delivery.)

Letra: “Riffle, I was told to deliver this letter to you.”

Riffle: “…Gh!”

*Riffle runs off*

Letra: “Wait, Riffle…!?”

Izumi: (Riffle reads the letter, gets upset, and crushes the letter in his hand as he leaves without saying a word. And the following day, he calls in sick…)

Izumi: (At first, they thought Riffle would come back soon, but a whole month passed and he still hadn’t returned.)

Izumi: (Letra then goes to ask the Chief when he’ll be back.)

Carta: “...I’ve been treating it as a leave of absence, however, Riffle has actually handed in his letter of resignation. It’s very possible that he won’t come back.”

Letra: “What…!?”

Letra: “But we came to this post office together… What’s the big deal, Riffle…!?”

Izumi: (At first, Letra wasn’t so sure about him, but gradually, he started to get to know Riffle more.)

Letra: “That guy who sent him the letter’s gotta know something. I remember the sender’s address. I’m gonna go and pay that guy a visit…!”

Letra: “If that’s what I’m deciding to do then… Excuse me, Tiga-senpai! I wanna take the day off today…”

Tiga: “...You’re planning on tracking down the person who sent Riffle the letter, aren’t you?”

Letra: “Uegh… Busted…”

Envelope: “If that’s where you’re headed, one day won’t be enough. I’ll approve three days of leave for you.”

Envelope: “...Please bring back Riffle. Even someone like him can end up being a cute kouhai.”

Letra: “Envelope-senpai… Yeah, leave it to me! I’m headed out now!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Letra: “I dunno why you had to come along even though I would’ve been fine on my own, Tiga-senpai.”

Tiga: “Because I’m worried about you being on your own.”

Letra: “Hmph. Anyway, this area is pretty rural. One day really wouldn’t have been enough…”

Tiga: “The address of the house we’re headed to is over there.”

Letra: “Wait, here!? That’s a really big house! That’s obviously some sorta super-rich guy’s mansion!”

Man: “...Huh?”

Man & Letra: “Ah, it’s you!” 

Izumi: (Letra tells the man about how Riffle saw the letter and resigned. Tiga is stunned by how direct he is…)

Man: “No way, did he really…?”

Letra: “How do you know Riffle?”

Lease: “My name’s Lease. Riffle is my little brother.”

Letra: “You’re Riffle’s big bro!? Wait, so Riffle’s some super loaded rich kid!?” 

Lease: “He’s always been treated like a failure by our family…”

Lease: “I promised that as his older brother, I’d always be there to protect and help him, but I couldn’t keep my promise because I was sent to study abroad to be educated as the family’s heir.” 

Letra: “I never knew that about Riffle…”

Lease: “We kept in touch at first, but then things got busy and we just sort of naturally stopped talking.”

Lease: “And when I finally came back just recently from studying abroad, Riffle was gone from home.”

Lease: “I looked into things and found out that he was being treated even worse after I had left.”

Lease: “I think he sent me a letter before he left home, but no one at home ever delivered it to me.”

Letra: “Oh, I see… But I wonder why Riffle went outta his way to send a letter instead of just messaging you.”

Lease: “I was always so busy every day that I didn’t have the time to take the time to talk to him, so I’ve basically been communicating with Riffle through letters ever since we were little.”

Tiga: “For Riffle, those letters were probably the only way he could really talk to his older brother. They were probably like an emotional support for him.”

Letra: “Those letters were important to Riffle…?”

Tiga: “I’d say probably.”

Lease: “But I didn’t have the courage to meet up with Riffle and face him directly… That’s why I sent him such a bland, innocuous letter.”

Tiga: “Is that so…”

Letra: “...I never woulda thought that Riffle’s upbringing was worse than mine.”

Letra: “I get it now. Riffle was treating letters so carelessly despite being someone who’d know the importance of them because he was betrayed by them.”

Letra: “...Lease-san. If you think about it as being for Riffle’s sake, can you please write him a letter with all your thoughts and feelings about him in it?”

Lease: “But…”

Letra: “Do you want how things are with Riffle now to stay the way they are?”

Lease: “...No, I don’t want that… Got it, I’ll write one right away. Please wait for me at that cafe over there.”

Izumi: (And so, while on the way back after receiving the letter from Lease…)

Letra: “I wonder why Riffle even became a delivery person.”

Tiga: “This is just speculation, but… My guess would be that he couldn’t let go of his memories of his brother, or maybe that he still had hope for his brother in a letter… Or something like that.”

Letra: “I see… For some reason, I feel like it might be both of those things for Riffle…”

Izumi: (As soon as they arrive at the post office, Letra makes his way straight to Riffle’s house. He thought that Tiga would be coming with him, but…)

Tiga: “No, I think it’s best if you go alone, Letra. We’ll be waiting for you at the post office tomorrow. Now, go and give Riffle his older brother’s thoughts and feelings.”

Letra: “Yeah, got it.”

Letra: “Time for me to send the thoughts and feelings of a loved one to Riffle properly.”

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[icebear4president]

The year is 2075 and you’re the last human on earth. Suddenly, a pay phone rings and you pick it up in excitement. Then, through the speaker, the most horrific words:

“We’re calling to ask you about your car’s extended warranty.”

[notrenderedhal]

We’re calling to contact you about your car’s extended warranty-

When they said 'extended', I never assumed that meant it was still valid four hundred years after the fall of civilization. Gotta say, pretty damn impressive.

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

Under the gun and ready to rock. Let’s have a little fun with the Potpourri category for 500 please, LeVar Burton. YES! We’re salty about it! LeVar SHOULD have been selected as the permanent replacement host on Jeopardy. But since he’s not… let’s see what this category has for you all.  

Aries 

You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do with your musical taste! You get your toes tappin’ to “Bugle Call Rag” as performed by Doc Severinsen & The Tonight Show Band in 1991… but the song was originally recorded in 1922! How the HELL do you like Big Band Jazz this much and STILL have Ariana Grande in that same playlist!? This Week… Add some Molly Hatchet to your musical collection. It’ll be fun for just the album artwork alone. 

Taurus 

The Devil’s come looking for you while you were out gassing up your car. Something about collecting on a promise from when you were in high school - something about playing the bass in a band and getting respect! He looked pretty disappointed, too. So This Week… Seeing as how it’s a natural law of the Universe that Bass Players never get respected, it’s likely that The Devil owes YOU some recompense. Either that or he’s going to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty.  

Gemini  

Speaking of school, how about your checkered history with the principal at your high school? He was a nice enough person, always well spoken, always supported you kids, and made it to at least ONE event for every group he could every year. And what did you do? You organized a Prank on him. How you managed to build a giant Christmas Present Box around his car is still a mystery to this day - and it’s still spoken about as a Revered Legend to this day. So This Week… He knew it was you - all those security cameras didn’t lie. But he hid the information from the authorities just so you wouldn’t get in trouble. Remember that as you plan for your next April Fool’s Day Prank.   

Cancer Moon-Child 

What do you get when you mix a Fender Rhodes, a Fender Precision Bass, a Fender Stratocaster, and a single, repeated, 8-Bar Riff? You get FUNK! You get so dirty, naughty, grindy FUNK to listen to. But you don’t want to just listen, you want to play, don’t you? Yeah, we know how much you miss writing music and playing in that just-starting-out band with the funky bass player and the trumpet wacko. Why did you leave the band just as they were getting big? We’re really trying to understand your motivations there. So This Week… Look up the biggest Zydeco Bands of the Early 21st Century and feel sorry for yourself at how high they’re on that list.  

Leo 

Time to plan your next vacation - but with a twist. Sure, it’s fun to take a flight from New York City’s Laguardia Airport to England’s Gatwick Airport, but let’s do something more fun… TAKE A CRUISE! Sure, instead of an 8 hour trip it’ll be more like a week, one way… but HEY! You can get up all you want, eat when you want to, use a private bathroom, and take a swim mid-trip! So This Week… Consider splurging for your trip for once! And remember, WIFI plans start at only $18 per day. So plan your trip on the Queen Mary 2 NOW! 

Virgo 

Your music collection is for crap. NO, SERIOUSLY! Just because it’s complete doesn’t mean it’s good. Sure, you’ve got all EIGHTEEN albums put out by That One Artist, but he’s only ever had like 8 Top-40 Singles, and four of them were all from the FIRST album. Buying all those records didn’t support them - all that money went to the record companies. So This Week… He’s on social Media. Look him up and send him a message of thanks for the music you enjoyed. Maybe he’ll write a song just for you too!    

Libra

You’re going to be headed out with your friends and have a GREAT time doing something you’ve always wanted to try doing; Prix Fixe! Yes, we talked about this on a previous Horrible-Scope, and that’s where you got the idea from. Let’s get you ready to finally take advantage of this fun culinary adventure, even if the cost will be an indulgence. So This Week… Spend a little money on a properly fitted suit so you look classy for this dinner. It’ll be worth it.    

Scorpio 

One of the things you miss is getting pecans, scooped from under a heat lamp, and poured into a wax-paper bag! Munching them on the drive home and having almost none left once you get there was so much fun for you… but now you’ve finally learned you have an allergy to them. Truly… TRULY a sad thing to know. BUT, it finally explains why it got harder and harder to eat them as the drive progressed. So This Week… Invest in some antihistamines so you can enjoy long drives with warm, succulent nuts in your mouth again. (*PAUSE*) We know what you’re thinking! You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Sagittarius 

No one else knows about this, but WE do, and we’re spilling the beans. Your favorite superhero is… Wonder Woman! And not just ANY Wonder Woman, but the first live-action version with Cathy Lee Crosby and Ricardo Montalban. You think no-one remembers that clunker, but WE do! And, really, we have no idea WHY you like that one; though Ricardo Mantalban just makes everything an Instant WIN in our book. So This Week… You don’t want us to talk about your Secret Bondage Fetish, DO you? Ok. We won’t. 

Capricorn 

We know you enjoy doing cross-mixing websites, but you’re really pushing your luck. Mix-n-Matching PokeMon into weird abominations is fun for kicks, but you’re trying to turn them into personalized CCG cards and sneaking them into overnight games, trying to beat all the coffee-guzzling young adults… and heaven help us, you’ve actually managed to do it a few times! So This Week… Remember, “Exodia” is NOT a PokeMon card character! STOP SCREWING WITH THE KIDDIES! You gunna get some Bad Ju-Ju that way.

Aquarius 

We’re not going to Tech Shame you here, but we kinda have to. Just because you have a Hand-Held Ham Radio, a “Where’s The International Space Station” tracking app on your phone, and a big-open sky doesn’t mean you can take over the ISS’ computers and hold them hostage! Your dreams of being an Evil Mad Scientist are just not going to manifest… because the ISS Laptops are running a specialized version of Debian Linux - so you’re screwed since you can’t hack those machines. So This Week… Find some eMachines from 1998 and load ‘em up with Mandriva Linux, or at least TRY to. THAT’LL make you mad REAL fast!

Pisces  

It’s That Time Again! It’s time for you to start getting ready for the summer - meaning dieting so you fit into your swimsuit again. NO, we’re not Body Shaming you for your size! We’re shaming you for refusing to buy a new swimsuit! Look, that suit’s survived Hurricane Gloria, fer crying out loud! It’s time to just retire it and stop patching it everytime it splits a seam. So This Week… If you’re not gunna buy a new suit, then make some proper cut offs. They’re ALWAYS in fashion.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord, and BLUESKY.

[murrumbaautocareau]

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It is a standard vehicle examination that looks at safety checks, measurements, replacements and repairs if necessary. It also follows the procedures outlined in your car’s manufacturer’s logbook, proving that you’ve looked after your car well and maintained it sufficiently to warrant its warranty.

The engine has to be the king of the castle and our team is proud to offer the best of the best in the industry. With some of the finest technicians in town, we can get your car back on the road in no time. We also offer a full complement of mechanical services including log book servicing, maintenance checks and more. If you are looking for the best service in town, give us a call or drop by our shop and we will make you a part of our family. We have a discerning clientele and we are always ready to help.

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Located in the Kallangur metroplex of Sydney, Murrumba Auto Care has a knack for finding the kinks and making your ride look like it came out of the showroom. You can book a service online or on the phone and snag a free quote at the same time! Alternatively, stop by our blingtastic workshop to see what all the aflutter is all about. We’re the proud winners of the dMotivation customer satisfaction award and we wouldn’t be here without you! We take the utmost pride in delivering quality service that you can count on. We know you’re looking for a mobile car service that is both affordable and convenient, so let us show you the best of the best. Besides the usuals, we will do a little digging to find out what you need and then do the rest of the legwork for you.

[4ragon]

Might I request 19, 73 and/or 83 for Klapollo? (If i had to pick one i'd probably want 19 bc im in an angsty mood, but do whichever inspires you :D)

Okie doke, I'm going to stick to just 19 if that's alright with you then!

19. “No… No! Come on, I can’t lose you!” (It's not...QUITE word for word, but you know. Adjacent.)

“Hello, you have reached—Apollo Justice— At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished your message, hang up, or press one for more options.”

A beep. Klavier flinched, already feeling a bit faint. “A-Ach, hello, Herr Forehead! I, ah, couldn’t help but notice the news this morning, and, well, I thought—Just call me back when you’re available, ja?”

He hung up, ignoring the twisting of his gut as he plopped himself onto his leather couch. That was fine. This was fine. It wasn’t like Apollo always answered his calls. Maybe he left his phone on his desk, that’d happened before. Or maybe he was out of battery. Ja, that was it. Apollo’s phone was probably just out of battery.

Or hey, maybe Apollo’s phone was broken. It wasn’t so unbelievable that something could’ve happened. After all, it was easy to break a phone, and—

“We have a breaking news report. There has been one confirmed casualty in today’s shocking courtroom bombing. While the victim has not been identified—”

Klavier slammed his hand on the remote. The television went dark.

“His phone is broken,” he announced to his empty apartment. Vongole lifted her head toward him, ears perking up as he quickly began to pace again.

He had taken the week to work on some music. Herr Edgeworth had graciously given him some time off to do so. A small EP, if that, or maybe a single. Something that had been bouncing around his head since Professor Courte’s untimely death, something to dedicate to the woman who had encouraged both of his dreams. It had seemed a fitting tribute, and there hadn’t been any pressing cases other than the one assigned to Blackquill.

The space station case.

That was being prosecuted today.

Against Apollo Justice.

In the courthouse.

Where Klavier wasn’t.

He ran his fingers through his bangs, trying to ignore the way his hands were shaking. This was fine. Things were fine. Isn’t that what Apollo always said? I’m fine, I’m fine, and Apollo was fine, he was always fine. Even when he couldn’t answer his phone, he was fine.

The phone on the table vibrated violently. Klavier jumped, scrambling for it. “Hallo?!”

“...Hello! I’m calling about the extended warranty on your car—”

Beep

Klavier almost threw the phone, stopping himself and setting it forcefully on the table. A sharp inhale. A shaky exhale. He grabbed his guitar off the couch, sitting back down.

He began plucking chords, trying to remember the lyrics he’d been writing only an hour ago. You who gave me direction, who gave me music, something something the courts, he played a wrong note and almost screamed in frustration.

The phone vibrated again. Klavier glanced at the name, before freezing. Apollo Justice. He scrambled again, terror and relief coursing through his veins. “Apo--Herr Forehead!” He coughed, leaning back in his seat as if attempting to look natural. “It’s great to hear from you. Are you alright?”

There was a pause. Then a voice, “E-Err, hi, Mr. Gavin.”

Not Apollo. Not Apollo not Apollo not Apollo, “F-Fraulein Wright,” he stammered, a cold sweat on his neck. “Erm, is everything alright?”

He could hear Trucy shift a bit on the other line, a cacophony of voices in the background. “Yeah. Um. Apollo is in the hospital.”

Time froze. The world filled with static. Trucy continued to speak, barely audible over the buzzing filling Klavier’s ears and his mind and his chest and—

“Fraulein, which hospital are you at?”

“Huh?” Trucy paused what she’d been saying. “Oh, um. We’re at Hotti Clinic right now. Athena says they might move him out of the ER soon, and—”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Wh—”

Klavier hung up. Through the buzzing in his ears, he stood to his feet, taking a deep breath. What was he doing? What exactly was he hoping to accomplish here?

Another breath, ignoring the way his throat seemed to clench. “Nein. I’m not losing you,” he whispered, grabbing his keys and disappearing out the door.

[justseveralowls]

Funny moment:

So I was at work and we’d been getting quite a bit more phone calls (customer service voice is engaged) we’re in a small business in a small town so I am almost always talking to a real person whether it’s one of our artists or a person looking to get our hours. So I pick up the phone and do my usual “Hello thank you for calling [REDACTED] how can I help you?”

There’s silence on the other end for a moment and I’m waiting for a customer to speak so I hold the phone with my shoulder up to my ear

A beat passes and suddenly:

“WE ARE TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CARS EXTENDED WARRANTY” screeches out of the phone at full volume

I jump and drop the phone as a customer walks in and only manage to stammer “telemarketer” as the phone clatters to the ground

He gives me a quick nod then walks back out of the store….

So anyway they are apparently now advertising jumps scares disguised as scam calls.

What makes this even more ridiculous is I have never owned or leased/rented a car (I’m epileptic) and again this is a small business landline.

I’m laughing at myself and hope I didn’t traumatize a customer…

So anyway this was me

[chocolatepancakes]

Mixer Romantic ending.

(Y/N) laid on her couch staring up at the ceiling. It was the middle of July and she was hot, bored, and sweaty. She sat up and reached for the remote, just to be caught off guard by a text notification. Selever. She opened the app. [Selever] Hey Roachy! [Selever] my friends and I are going to the mixer [Selever] come with to even out the numbers (Y/N) looked at her screen. A mixer huh? Cool beans. It’s not like she had anything to do over the summer. She typed quickly as she replied. [Y/N] cool lemme in [Selever] lmao you’re actually gonna come? [Selever] okay, well, meet at 401 Dragon Rock Ave. [Y/N] there’s a bar there?? [Selever] lol who said we’re going to a bar [Selever] we gon be going to kareoke b#### [Y/N] OK [Y/N] what time [Selever] idk, around 8. [Y/N] K see ya [Selever] ciao (Y/N) looked at the clock. 6pm. She had about two hours to get ready. She set a 50 minute timer and turned on the TV. She had time to burn. So the time came. (Y/N) ran out her house with her purse in hand. She slid into her car and started it up. Streetlights passed as she turned left and right. A call rang. She picked it up. “Hello, who is it?” She asked. “Hello, I called to talk about your car’s extended warranty,” Selever replied. Snickering could be heard. (Y/N) laughed. Why did he always start a call like that? “Hi Sel,” she said. “Where you at right now?” “I’m only like, a hundred meters from the place.” “Ha, sure you are.” “Oh hey! I see you! Okay, imma hang up!” She closed off the call and pulled her car into a parking slot. Selever stood waiting for her. He was wearing something pretty different from his normal attire. He had a magenta dress shirt on, and a black suit vest over it. A complimentary black tie and dark dress pants completed his look. “Woah I didn’t think you’d actually come,” Selever smirked. “Getting desperate?” He asked. “Ha, no. Just doing my job as the number-even-outter.” (Y/N) replied, getting out of her car. “Really? Cause you seem pretty dressed up for someone who’s just evening out the numbers.” He was right. (Y/N) had dressed up a bit for this occasion. She wore a blue one piece with a flower on the head of its belt. She wore a white cardigan, and two strands of her (H/C) hair, tied in braids, met at the back of her head. She wore knee high socks, and Mary Janes completed the outfit. “Yes really, now let’s go in! I wanna destroy everyone’s eardrums!” (Y/N) grabbed his hand and entered the building. This one seemed to be slightly different from other bars. Like a Japanese kareoke place? There was a reception area, and you’d go into a room to sing. They ran past the reception and straight to the room at the end of the hall. Selever opened up the door. “THE LAST LADY’S HERE!” He yelled. In the room were two other guys, and two other girls. Starting with the girls, there was one with blue hair, which was tied back in her pony tail. She had pink eyes and wore a grey turtleneck with a long skirt. The other girl had black hair, which covered her left eye. Red eyes. She wore a beanie, as well as a black shirt. She wore jeans, giving off a relaxed vibe. As for the two guys, a grey cat was among them. His hair? Fur? Was tied back in a ponytail. He wore a yellow hoodie over a suit, she assumed. He wore black pants and wore brown sneakers. Last one was a skull of… a goat? Moose? A demon? He wore a white dress shirt, and brown dress pants. His body and limbs seemed to be invisible, as his head and hand floated in the air. (Y/N) cautiously entered the room. “Hello…. I’m (Y/N).” The girl with blue hair waved. “Hi!! I’m Sky!” She held some cards in her hand. “Wanna play Uno with us?” “Sure,” (Y/N) said, sitting down. Selever also sat at the boys’ side. A round passed. Then two. Then an an hour, as they ate and sang. “Kay! Uhhh (Y/N!) It’s your turn!” The cat man said, taking the input pad and handing it over to her. “Sorry Kapi, I’m not too good at singing,” she denied. “You sure? You haven’t sang all hour.” “Mmm maybe one song.” She took the pad and scrolled through the songs. Bingo. She entered the code as a upbeat tune started playing. She held up the mic, slightly embarrassed she was singing this. Selever gave her a thumbs up and smiled. She took a breath and sang. The others watched her as she hit every note. When the song finished, she put down the mic and quickly returned to her seat. They clapped for a moment or two. “Woah. You’re pretty good (Y/N)!” Sky said. “I’m really not,” (Y/N) said. “Oh for f###’s sake, just accept it,” Selever rebutted. “You’re good and you know it.” Kapi stretched. “Okay, I think we’re all warmed up.” Warmed up?! That was warming up?! For what?! (Y/N) confusedly looked around the room. “Tabi, where’d you put the spinner?” Kapi asked. “It should be with the chips.” Seriously what were they bouta do?! Kapi took out a spinner. On each slice was each of their names. Tabi, Annie, Kapi, Sky, Selever, (Y/N), all of them. Kapi flicked the arrow. Landed on his name. “I GO FIRST!” He said, grabbing his phone. He fiddling with it, he got something to play on the screen. His own song. He took a deep breath and started to sing. Annie cheered him on. (Y/N) looked in shock. He was singing his own song. This probably means the others have their own too. Goddammit, no! She prayed for the wheel to never land on her, she didn’t have one yet! Kapi’s song finished, and the screen read, “Beathoven.mp4 - unknown”.  “Oh yeah! That felt great! Okay, who’s next?” He spun the wheel again. “Uh… Annie! Ya gonna go?” Annie took out her phone. “Hell yeah I am.” She took a swig of her drink and got up. After fiddling with her phone, a new song started playing. She bopped her head a few times, until she also started to sing. (Y/N) leaned over to Selever. “You know I don’t have a song! What do I do?!” She whispered. Selever leaned back. “It’s fine. I can cover you if it lands anyway. Just get one of your weeb songs to play if I can’t.” As Annie’s song finished, she spun the wheel. Sky Same routine. She got up, fiddled around, and sang. (Y/N) paid no attention to it. She was only thinking about what would happen when her turn came. What does he mean he can cover her?! What does he mean play a weeb song?! Did he mean vocaloid? Before she knew it, Sky’s turn was over. Kapi spun the spinner. Oh god damn it. “(Y/N)! It’s your turn!” He slid the pad to her. She looked at it in fear. “Um- a-” she was cut off. Selever picked up the pad. “M'kay. I’m bored. My turn motherfruskas!” Nobody stopped him. Just sighed and shook their heads. He tapped his phone. A steady beat came out of the speakers. Selever smirked at (Y/N) as he began to sing. It was upbeat. Pretty steady, until 30 seconds in. A sudden tempo change. His song was upbeat. And somewhat fast. As the song finished he put the mic back down on the table. “You had a song?? Wh- why is it so chaotic?! HOW’D YOU EVEN HIT THAT?!” Sky questioned as she, and the others clapped. Selever leaned back with his hands behind his head. “It’s was made to fit me, and me specifically. Of course it’s chaotic.” Kapi put away the wheel. “Okay, since there’s only Tabi and (Y/N) left now, I’m gonna flip a coin. Tabs, heads or tails?” He flipped it into the air. “Tails.” Tabi replied. Kapi caught, and shielded the coin from view. (Y/N) prayed it was tails. He revealed the coin to be… “Tails! ‘Kay Tabi, you’re up!” He handed the pad to the floating skull, as a new song started to play. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief. At least now she could think of which song to sing herself. I mean, Aishite was pretty good, but dark. PoPiPo sounded too idiotic. She could sing partners in crime…. if she had a partner. “So, be honest (Y/N),” Annie said, still keeping her eyes on Tabi. “You don’t have a song, do you?” (Y/N) jumped. “I uh…” “It’s fine. I didn’t really expect someone like you to have one anyway.” Someone like me? The hell does that mean?! (Y/N)’s pettiness rose up. She still didn’t have a song, but she sure as hell knew which one she wanted to sing. Just as Tabi’s song finished, she snatched the pad and connected her phone. She looked up at the screen. Beeps played as she stood up, grabbed the mic, and waited for the first notes to come. She took a deep breath, turned to look at everyone and sang. “EVERSINCEIWASBORNFROMTHATDAYIHADKNOWNTHATIAMNOTHINGMORETHANASIMULATIONBUTI'LLKEEPLIVINGUNTILLDESTROYED, LIVINGFOREVERYESIAMAVOCALOID. IFFOREXAMPLESINGINGWASJUSTATOYTHATWOULDSINGBACKTHETUNESYOUGAVETOTHEMIDTHINKTHATWASALRIGHT, WHILEILOOKATTHESKY, BITETHISLEEK, WATCHTHESOUPPOURINGFROMMYEYES. BUTEVENSOI'LLDISAPPEARTHATIKNOWAPERSONALITYCHANGINGWITHEACHSONG, EVERYTHINGIWASBUILTONWASN'TSOSTRONG, ALLOFTHEPLACESIKNEWAREALREADYGONE, EVERYONETHATIKNEW, THEYDON'TREMEMBERME. HEARTORSOULIHAVENOTHINGLEFTINSIDEOFMEICANSEETHECENTEROFTHEVOID, YES I AM A VOCALOID!” She huffed as the intro stopped. The others looked at her wide eyed. She smiled. She may have regained a bit of confidence. As the vocals continued, she did too. Hitting every note perfectly as the song went on. At the end, she set down her mic. Selever clapped for her, and the others joined him. Tabi looked at the clock. Holy crap. 2 am. “Okay, I have to go, I have work,” he said, getting up. “Actually, we should probably all go now. The time’s almost up anyway,” Sky pointed out. (Y/N) picked up her purse. They were right. She didn’t have anything to do over the summer, but it was getting late. They all walked out to the parking lot, and said their goodbyes. Only Selever and (Y/N) was left now. “So, got anyone you put your eyes on?” Selever asked. (Y/N) sighed. “They were nice, but not really my type, ya know? Would go drink with tho 100%.” She smiled. “Besides, I don’t think any of the guys really liked me.”

“Do I not count as a guy for you then?” Selever snarked. (Y/N) looked at him with wide eyes. “You like me?” She asked. Selever flushed, being caught off guard. “What?! No! I didn’t- No! I just eurrgggggg” he buried his face in his hands and groaned. (Y/N) giggled. “Shut uuuup….” “No, it’s not that,” she replied, trying to force the giggles to stop. “It’s just funny how you like me too.” They stood in silence looking into each other. (Y/N) smiled as she left Sel for her car. “M'kay! Bye! Sel! See ya next time!” She said, as she drove off. Selever stood in front of the building. Hoooooly crap. She likes me. She… likes me? Why? What is there to like? He laughed at himself as he walked in the direction of the church. At least she liked him. That’s was all that mattered.

[ms-demeanor]

You know what’s funny is whenever I make a tech post I get people going “this is blatantly untrue” and I get people going “this is really good information and everyone needs to know it” and the dividing line is how much time you spend with people who are tech literate.

Yep, I would tell my computer savvy friends where they could get keycaps and fix their keyboards; I don’t even have to bother telling my computer savvy friends how to run a fifteen year old laptop because we’re all pretty good at it.

But GODDAMN I just read a response to my “cheap computer season” post that claimed that it was totally reasonable to run a macbook from 2010 and

Look.

That’s not a reasonable thing to tell a student who needs a functional computer to do research and write papers. (have fun trying to find installation discs from when the OS was still named after cats and have fun trying to get a browser to get along with that OS)

You know why most people bring me laptops with missing keys? Because the key got ripped off by their two-year-old and damaged the soldering in the keyboard and I have no idea it’s going to be “oh, yeah, that’s a ten dollar fix” or “sorry, that’s going to be an hour and a half to disassemble and reassemble and we’ll have to order you a new keyboard specific to that model out of new old stock” and the thing is the second one is much, much, much more common in my experience than the first.

Do I think you need to replace a laptop when the bezel is cracked? No. I also don’t carry my laptop powered on in the bag with a flashdrive sticking out of the USB port. Customers do weird things that I don’t understand and when a customer tells me they want me to fix the bezel they think it’s a twenty-dollar snap-on repair because they have no idea how this works and then they get mad at me when I explain “no, you’ve gotta have this specific piece of plastic, these haven’t been made in five years, and you might be better off buying a used model online than trying to track down a new bezel.”

So here’s the thing: Can Macs get viruses?

There are three answers here.

“No, of course not, Macs are made to be virus-proof”

“Macs need antivirus protection because, while it is less common than infections for PCs, there are types of malware that can infect macs and it’s worthwhile to guard against that”

“tEcHnIcAlLy a virus has to be self-replicating and IOS’s file management system [or some other bullshit] prevents that so TECHNICALLY Macs can’t get viruses and what you need is anti-malware software if you need anything because you’re fairly likely to have security through obscurity”

I’m aware of the third position and voicing the second position to people who believe the first position.

YES TECHNICALLY YOU CAN KEEP A COMPUTER RUNNING INDEFINITELY AND YES IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE YOUR LAPTOP WILL LAST TEN YEARS.

“Well if you treat it right and run it well it’ll be in great shape for a long time”

YES THAT IS CORRECT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK ON THEIR OWN CARS DRIVE AROUND WITH THE OIL CHANGE LIGHT ON FOR MONTHS?!?

Tons of people in the world today use computers. They use computers every day, they use computers at home and at school and at work.

Tons of people drive every day. They use cars for fun and for commuting and for their jobs.

That doesn’t mean that all (or even most, or even half) of the people using these things is any good at keeping them running, or even has the barest idea of how to start tracking down a problem.

Someone in the notes of that post described a green line on their screen and thought that was a symptom of hard drive problems. I don’t have the hours in the day to catch this person up to speed on why a display issue on a laptop isn’t indicative of hard drive issues.

Do you know how much people think it’s going to cost to get data off of a broken drive? Not “won’t power up” not “won’t spin” but “I dropped this and part fell off and now it won’t power up or spin and also the platter is chipped”? I’m going to have to send that shit to a clean room and the customer is *staggered* that it might cost more than a hundred dollars to get their data. “Outrageous, what kind of blackmail operation are you trying to run here, just plug it in and get my pictures.”

A year or so ago I was at Jiffy Lube (ew). I’d been shooting the shit with the mechanic when a parent and child rolled in in a panic. And they should have been panicking! They’d thrown a fucking rod because they’d been driving with no oil in the car for god knows how long because neither of them had had the oil changed in the two years they’d owned the vehicle.

*I* can keep a 30-year-old car running. I can put a belt back on an engine in a dark parking lot with a wrench and a headlamp. I can drop a gas tank and replace my fuel filter and thumb my nose at the mechanics who tried to upsell me on “replacing your old, worn-out air filter” the day after I’d popped a new one into my truck.

These folks couldn’t keep a new car running with three alarms telling them what was wrong.

*I* can power up my 2005 macbook running Leopard and use garage band to record a song or do some design work on my copy of Adobe CS3; I can kludge its FF3.5 browser into playing nice with the internet and accept that it’s going to be a slow piece of shit.

The lady who called me confused by the fact that the password to her email was different than the login information for her grocery store rewards account will not be able to function if she gets a pop-up that says she’s using an outdated browser and will think it’s a virus if her bank won’t let her log in on that browser.

And you know what, I’m kind of sick of this attitude.

I would *fucking adore it* if computers were actually easy to repair; I’d love it if you could run new OSs on old hardware (especially on macs because I think apple are kind of shitheads about planned obsolescence).

But you know what, no, most people *CAN’T* reasonably expect to use a ten-year-old computer and have pleasant experience of it. It’s going to run slow. It’s going to shut down when they don’t want it to. The battery is going to swell slightly with the heat and your touchpad is going to go nuts. Your USB ports will stop working. Standard wear and tear that most people don’t know how to protect against and don’t know how to repair is going to make it harder to use AND software requirements will outstrip the hardware capabilities of the computer.

If your old computer sucks it’s not your fault. If you can’t happily use a 10-year-old laptop to do your homework that’s okay, it wasn’t designed for you to use it that way and YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

Because that’s kind of what a lot of these “well anybody should realistically be able to run a laptop from 2010″ responses comes down to: if you need new hardware you’re just not doing it right. If you have to replace your computer you didn’t make good choices when you bought it. If your battery dies it’s because you didn’t take care of it.

No. No. No. No.

This shit is A) designed to fail and B) actually really hard to keep running (hey how many blown capacitors do you think someone has to have on their motherboard before you say it’s not their fault for wanting to replace the laptop)

ALSO SOMEONE IN THE RESPONSES OF THAT POST LITERALLY SAID THAT IF YOUR BATTERY DIED AT THREE YEARS IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T DOING THE DRAIN CHARGE CYCLE RIGHT AND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. It’s discharge cycles and heat, motherfucker; they are going to fail at some point and people shouldn’t feel bad if their batteries stop working after a couple years.

UGH.

You shouldn’t have to be a mechanic. You shouldn’t have to be a computer technician. Yeah, your shit will last longer if you know how to take care of it but, fuck. Imagine you were still using internet speeds from 2010. Imagine all your devices still had USB 2.0. Imagine you couldn’t log onto your online bank because your hardware won’t run he software that your bank recognizes because the hardware manufacturer decided it won’t support the older hardware.

What I was trying to get across in that initial post was “computers fail, and they fail pretty frequently; your life will be better and you will save money if you plan on replacing them at a regular interval and have reasonable expectations in terms of cost and failure. So buy a cheap computer now because you’re probably going to need one at some point”

And now I’ve got to Do A Yell about how there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism and it’s unreasonable to expect tired, overworked, broke people to become experts in computer repair in order to do their homework or play the goose game.

FUCK THAT.

IT’S CHEAP COMPUTER SEASON MOTHERFUCKERS. LAPTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT THREE TO FIVE YEARS AND DESKTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE DISCOUNTS ON NEW COMPUTERS AND IT’S CHEAP TO GET AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER AND WORK ON COMPUTERS IF YOU WANNA AND PLAN TO REPLACE REGULARLY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK ON COMPUTERS.

ALSO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING OIL YOU’RE PROBABLY DUE.

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 1 Part 1- It Begins with a Ballet

20 years ago a bunch of dudes came together to make Wan Shi Tong's Library from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

And in order to open it one must obtain the mystical shiny!

Not sure why they couldn’t dig or something. Is it reinforced on all sides? 

And making a key out of glass seems like a bad plan IMO but I���m not a martial arts master in Ancient China so what do I know?

----------

Oooh we starting with a roof-top assassin mission right from the off? Well hot damn!

Are they freaking out because of the lanterns though? Or because they noticed him?

Calm down! He’s just here to celebrate Rapunzel’s birthday with y’all!

This is a nice shot but it does kinda make me think he got there via hot air balloon which is always fun.

Oooh! These guys would be great at protecting Romani Ranch from “Them”!!

Bullseye!

OMG THEY DID COME IN VIA HOT AIR BALLOON I forgot most of the first part of this episode. Lol

-------------

Local Man shocked to realize that he probably should have started his letter about the royal assassins going around killing officials of the court a bit sooner as the royal assassins who are going around killing officials have arrived to kill him, an official of the court.

----------

Cut loose Footloose Kick off the Sunday shoes

----------

Young man with a bit more skill than the others requires main character to get his own hands dirty. if this were any other story he might have been the protagonist.

Lookin fly in that assassin hat tho.

----------

No thank you I just shaved this morning.

------------------------------------------------

Leg

--------------------------------------

I suppose this is one of the down sides to this otherwise ‘nice sword’.

Which is now a boomerang? What were you gonna do if he didn’t deflect it and like just dodged instead? Run after it? Call time out and chase your yeeted blade?

----------

Tryin to make us think our man in blue is getting the upper-hand now. But look at our MC. Look at how bored and unimpressed he is. He’s already dead inside.

----------

Nooooo his hat!!! rip

----------

I, for one, always appreciate when the main characters come with their own labels. It honestly helps me and I wish more movies and shows in like every country did that. I know here it’s like added flair for the drama. But you don’t understand how bad I am with names! You don’t understand!

----------

“I’m here to see Officer Li off.” Yeah off of this mortal plane

----------

----------

*oven ding noise because your goose is cooked, Son.

Called it

----------

Oop! He Zoomin!

----------

Tensions are high but just LOOK at that air time! Now that’ll be one for the books.

----------

“Gross”

----------

Sweeping villain theme while his cloak billows in the glow of the lanterns and the moon. This is quality villain posing and I’m HERE for it.

----------

“Zhou ZiShu, what you do to others will be inflicted on you later.” Bitch Imma do it myself

----------

He felt bads about it but tath was his duety

----------

Question, did she lay this out herself or did she ask someone else to do it so that she could be sad in style?

----------

I see you there settin’ up that there symbolism.

----------

Hello. We’re calling about your car’s extended warranty.

----------

Hi. Everyone you know and loved is dead by my own hand on made up pretense. Thanks for bringing me the body of the dead people *I* loved. For that I’ll let you kill yourself instead of running you through with my bendy sword.

We’re still cool, though, right?

----------

I’m thinkin this is the first of many instances of “Twisting the Screws” as it were.

Look! He’s silly! Playful! You can almost see the light of hope in his eyes!

----------

*Pouting intensifies*

-------------------------------

That awkward moment when you find out you just killed your beloved shidi’s girl.

Oops

----------

X Gon Give it to Ya

----------

Okay so I know what has happened and what is about to happen is so much worse than this but like don’t you think it’s just adding insult to injury to make this guy slow-burn end his life while having to sit in the damn snow?

you’re indoors! Close the sun-roof! Move the chair! Something!

----------

When people say “Screw this job!” they don’t usually mean it quite so literally.

----------

When do you think was the last time this poor bastard smiled?

----------

Yeah I’m gonna go with “ow”

----------

Hmmmm I guess no job is safe from those two gossipy coworkers that always seem to exist

----------

And then there’s this asshole

“Why hasn’t he come to see me? Is he still injured? How?”

“It seems he is suffering from “sad bitch” disease, m’lord.

----------

WHO’S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED??? WHO DARES TO TAINT WITH VULGAR PAINT THE ROYAL FLOWER BED?

----------

And so he decided to make the “sad bitch’ disease a permanent condition.

----------

“Don’t do that”

A little late there buddy.

----------

Look at him! He’s laughin! He’s having a good time!

----------

“I kinda sucked ass as a leader, didn’t I?”

---------

Man’s got pretty shoulder blades, nice and toned from carrying the weight of his sins.

----------

Thanks for coming! You look like shit :)

-_-

--------

It is admittedly some kind of power move to strip down to your skivvies instead of just explaining that you would like to die now pls.

Say what you want but Zhou ZiShu certainly has a flair for the dramatic.

----------

I would like to quit via slow and painful death now pls. May I pls have permission to die a slow and painful death now pls?

----------

This man speedrunning the 5 stages of grief. Shit we’re already at bargaining

----------

“I wanna get nailed before I die.”

----------

“In three years I’ll ascend the throne and that’ll show you!!!” “Bitch I don’t CARE.”

----------------------

“When my fortune said I could expect an unexpected promotion I didn’t quite expect it to happen this way.”

----------

Peace Out

TBC...

[whorefordazai]

a phone call we just had with our brother:

him: *calls us*

me: “jim’s crematorium, you kill em we grill em. this is eight ball speaking, how can i help you?”

him: “yeah we’re calling about your cars extended warranty-“

me: “is this a joke? my car passed away yesterday”

him: “oh i’m- i’m so sorry ;;”

me: *hangs up*

HELPP OMG 😭😭

[gonemechaniic]

𝐔𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 // always accepting!

      「 anon said :: “Hello, Ms. Aurum ! We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle's warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.” 」

     ⚙ *:･ﾟ✧ // 𝑨𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒔, 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏? Guess Paw-Paw’s colorful little rant the last time didn’t reach as well as is should have. There’s a soft chuckle at that before catching the old man’s eyebrow raise inquisitively as he approaches and lets out a heavy sigh.

     ❛ Gimme the phone... ❜

          ❝ No, Paw-paw, they’re just doing a job, can’t fault ‘em for that. ❞ 

     ❛ They’re vultures gnawin’ off the corpses of lesser intelligent people. ❜

     At that Cindy just puts her hand up then points a finger his way that clearly says ‘back off’ to which he promptly steps back to lean upon the office door frame and crosses his arms, silently giving her the go ahead in a nod. Bringing pointed finger up a bit, sending one last wordless warning as she presses ‘1′ and goes into the most quintessential rapid fire Southern saleswoman pitch.

        ❝ Ok now which car are y’all talkin’ about? Cause I mean, lemme tell ya, we got LOTS! Let’s see here... there’s the Crown Jewel Standard, Type-D, and Type-F editions. Maintained by yours truly, not that I wanna toot my own horn or nothin’. Then there’s the somewhat mundane Insomnia Intrepid. Sure it’s coming from the capital, but that’s nothin’ t’ shake a tail feather over. But on the other hand we got the Imperial Ultima straight outta Gralea, however that is LITERALLY a TANK!!  ❞  A guffaw of laughter leaves her.  ❝ Great gas millage though considerin’ it runs off DISPAIR.... Oh an’ I didn’t even tell ya about the best one! Well best in my opinion cause it’s just the cutest lil thing you’re ever gonna --- hello? ... hellooo? ❞  She blinks a few times in her ‘confusion’, then turns to Cid with a single shrug of her shoulder. 

          ❝ Welp, I guess the Caem Classic Chocobo Convertible isn’t for everyone. ❞   She manages to keep a straight face while the veteran mechanic just takes a moment to shake his head. But Cindy notices the shake of laughter in his shoulders before the gruff chuckle eventually leaves and she’s not far off with her own bout of giggles as she sets down the phone.

[strictomiles]

Anonymous sent: “Hello, Mr. Amicitia! We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility.  Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. 

Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle's warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.”

Immediately, his face screws up, one brow raising in question, mouth settling in a frown. Maybe this worked on some people but, there was only one problem. Gladio didn’t have a car. Once upon a time, he’d had a motorcycle but, it had been lost to the wreckage of Insomnia.

And so, he presses 1 to speak to the specialist. Putting on his shakiest, most sorrow filled voice he could muster. “I’m so sorry. Mr. Amicitia isn’t available to take this call...” A beat where he sucks in a breath and sighs. “He passed away last night. The family is making funeral arrangements at this time if you want to pay your respects you can, the details of the celebration of life will be in the paper along with his obituary....

May Bahamut keep you and the Baba Yaga not take you this night.”

--END CALL--

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

pics or it didn’t happen 👀

We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle's warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.

[hotelofheroines]

Whispers into Ravens ear: “we’re calling to ask you about your cars extended warranty.-

*Banished to Hell*