#‘we’re calling you about your car’s extended warranty!’

[lilithknoxville]

oh hold on yall i gotta take this

johnny’s calling me

[manygeese]

its been a few weeks yall but we’re back in the small town affair universe🎉🎉 i would call this a oneshot but its not. youre getting two chapters of this shit and the second chapter will be out who knows when but im WORKING ON IT okay????

tumblr version and tags under the cut

It wasn’t very late when Jason and Leo got home from dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant, Di Angelo’s, but it was dark anyways. Jason sniffled in approval when the wall of warm air from their apartment building hit him. Leo cuddled closer to his side and pulled him impatiently towards the elevator. “We’re only on the second floor, sweetheart, we don’t need the elevator,” Jason pointed out.

Leo scoffed. “Speak for yourself. You may not need the elevator, but I sure as hell do. My kneecaps are frozen.”

Jason giggled and followed his boyfriend. He couldn’t believe it had already been a year since they had first gotten together. Loving Leo just came naturally—like it was ingrained into his very being to fix another cup of coffee with a ridiculous amount of sugar in the morning. He wondered what he had been doing before, honestly. Hadn’t he had that extra sweet bottle of half and half in his fridge forever?

“We should break out the champagne,” Jason suggested as they entered the elevator.

Leo gave him a look, like he had just said let’s go vandalize the local library! “We’re saving the good champagne for the New Year’s party, aren’t we?”

Jason pressed the button labeled two. “Yeah, I know, but it’s a special occasion. We won’t ever have another first anniversary.”

“Mm. True.”

“We deserve it, right?”

Leo furrowed his brow in thought. “I have been working on the school play the past month… and you’ve been on the farm and making the paintings…”

“Yup.”

“Y’know what, we can have the champagne,” Leo conceded. “But only one glass each, okay? Piper still wants us to bring it to the farmhouse for the countdown.”

Jason leaned down to give him a peck just as the doors opened. “Of course, dear.” He just about skipped down the hallway to their apartment, him and Leo hand in hand.

“Why do you want the champagne so bad anyways?” Leo muttered to himself with a laugh, taking his key out of his jacket pocket and jimmying their door open. He stepped inside.

Jason was about to follow when his phone rang, buzzing in the hand that wasn’t gripped tight in his boyfriend’s. He spared a glance down at it, not immediately recognizing the number, but it rang a bell in the back of his mind. “You go ahead, honey,” he said, pressing a kiss into Leo’s hair. “I’m just gonna take this call really quick.”

“Okay. You want me to set up a movie or something?”

“Sure.” Jason thanked him with another kiss.

“No problem, babe,” Leo chirped, closing the door.

It’s probably just a telemarketer, he reminded himself. They were probably calling him about his car’s extended warranty. He clicked the accept call button and held the phone to his ear, leaning on the wall. “Hi, how can I help—”

“Jason? Jason Grace?” An excited, sharp voice piped up.

“Mhm,” he admitted, pointedly not saying the word yes.

If there was one thing his father had taught him, it was to never say that word while on a call with a stranger. “They could use it as audio evidence that you agreed to something,” his father had said. Now that he thought about it, it sounded a little paranoid, but it was just a habit at this point.

“Jason Robert Grace?” The voice continued.

He chuckled skeptically. “I’d prefer if we could keep middle names out of this, but this is in fact he.”

The person on the other side of the line let out a relieved sigh. “Jason. God, you sound so different now. Oh! Um, it’s me. Your big sister. Thalia.”

“Thalia?” He got up off the wall and started pacing. “How- how did you get my number? Not that I’m ungrateful or anything, but, uh, this is kind of out of the blue.”

Thalia’s grin made its way through her lilting voice and out of the speaker. “A friend of mine gave it to me. Reyna. She says one of her buddies back home knows you.”

Jason and Reyna had become fast friends after she had visited Athens during her Summer break. She was out in California getting her doctorate at the moment at his alma mater, New Rome University. They called every Wednesday—speaking of, it should be around that time soon. “Reyna Ramírez-Arellano?”

Thalia let out a chuff of laughter. “The one and only. So, yeah, I figured I’d give you a ring. How’s life?”

“It’s great, actually! I left Father’s company. Yay.”

“Woo! Good for you!”

“I went ahead and moved out of California.”

“As you should.”

“I’ve been here for over a year now. And, uh, I got back into art.”

He was working on a new painting now. Another one of Leo, of course. His boyfriend was his muse, after all. This one was a replication of Lady with an Ermine by Da Vinci with his own little twist. Buford, their cat, was positioned in Leo’s lap, suspended in his arms, both looking off into the distance. The only problem was the fact that Buford wouldn’t stop squirming. Jason didn’t know what else he was expecting, he thought with an amused hum.

There was a beat of silence. Thalia was tapping her fingers on something- the cover of a book, or maybe a coffee cup. “Were you ever into art?”

Jason scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “…yes. I mean, I get why you have to ask, Father nipped that passion in the bud. But you were pretty much the only person I talked to about it.” Jason’s pacing came to a stop. His gaze fixed onto one spot on the wall.

“Oh.” Thalia got quiet, the only sound coming from her end being soft breaths. “I-I’m so sorry, Jason,” she said with a nervous laugh, “I kind of forgot. A decade and some change will do that to you, huh?”

He heaved a breath to fill the whole lot of nothing that followed.

“Listen, Jace, I know that I fucked up when I left. I should’ve taken you with me at least. And I know that we haven’t talked in years,” she grunted, “and I really know that I don’t deserve a place in your life after I abandoned you. So I don’t blame you if you say no, but could we call tomorrow?”

A smile grew on his face. “Of course. What time works for you?”

“Same time?”

“Alrighty. See you—hear you then?”

She barked a laugh, just like she would when he would tell her some stupid knock knock joke when they were kids. “Hear you then.”

The line went dead. He took the phone away from his ear with a soft sigh, opening the door and heading straight for the couch after putting his jacket next to Leo’s on the coat rack. His head fell back on the cushion, eyes sliding shut, another sigh slipping out of his mouth.

Jason could sense that Leo noticed, because of course he noticed, he noticed everything. He didn’t know whether to be thankful or annoyed in this particular case. There was the shuffling of fabric before he felt a warm presence make itself known next to his. What he assumed was Leo’s hand started tracing an unseen pattern onto his shirt. Despite the part of him that would’ve loved nothing more than to be left alone to cry in his room, he slotted his hand into the spot where it always rested on his boyfriend’s hip.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Leo whispered. Jason just let his head loll onto Leo’s and huffed. “Hmm. You don’t wanna talk about it?”

He grunted as he felt Leo’s fingers carding through his hair. “I wanna talk about it, honey, just give me a minute.” Leo hummed and Jason felt it vibrate through his shoulder. Subconsciously, he hugged his boyfriend closer.

“Thalia called,” Jason mumbled after a moment.

“Your sister?”

“Yup. We talked a little.”

“How’d it go?”

“It was fine. We didn’t go much farther than the basics- gosh, I don’t even know what she’s doing in California. But she’s there. She got my number from Reyna.”

Leo’s arms wormed their way around his neck. “Hey, shouldn’t Reyna be calling soon?”

“…do you think she’d be mad if I put it off for a few more hours?”

Leo leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, making the blond head fall onto his shoulder. “She wouldn’t mind at all. She’ll understand. You wanna let me up so I can get us some champagne?”

He tightened his grip around Leo’s waist, shaking his head into his skin. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Leo never stopped playing with his hair, twirling a strand of it on his finger as he giggled softly. “Okay, sweet pea, whatever you want. You wanna choose a movie?”

“…It’s a Wonderful Life.”

“Okey dokey,” Leo said as he reached for the TV remote. He turned back to him after he had turned it on, lifting his chin up to look him in the eyes. “You know I love you, right?” He said with an earnest, gentle smile.

Jason hugged him close, burying his face in Leo’s curls and taking a deep breath, hoping it said “yes, I love you too, oodles and oodles, forever and always.” He’d said something along those lines just about five hundred times over the past month, but he was beginning to suspect (who was he kidding, he was absolutely sure) he would never get tired of hearing those words and getting to return them.

@katiefromcabin7 @iwannascreameurekaa @froglyberrys @justlikearat @existential-life-crisis @jasonisntboring @poppitron360 @erosjournal @ihatenotreading @reggie-the-dyke

[ask-nurse-curly]

Hello!

We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty!

You should’ve received notice in the mail about your car’s extended warranty eligibility. Since we’ve not gotten a response, we’re giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file.

Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle’s warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.

How is it that the extended warranty people manage to reach you even in space? Good thing I sold my car before signing up with the Pony. That hunk of junk was only eligible for the scrapyard.

[icebear4president]

The year is 2075 and you’re the last human on earth. Suddenly, a pay phone rings and you pick it up in excitement. Then, through the speaker, the most horrific words:

“We’re calling to ask you about your car’s extended warranty.”

[notrenderedhal]

We’re calling to contact you about your car’s extended warranty-

When they said 'extended', I never assumed that meant it was still valid four hundred years after the fall of civilization. Gotta say, pretty damn impressive.

[fastrateauto23]

Emergency Brake Repair Services in Milwaukee: 24/7 Availability

Let’s face it—your car’s brakes are the unsung heroes of every drive. They’re there for the quick stops, the slow rolls, and the unexpected red lights. But what happens when they suddenly stop doing their job? That’s where emergency brake repair services come in, especially in a city like Milwaukee, where having reliable 24/7 service could save the day—or night. In this guide, we’ll explore everything you need to know about emergency brake repair services in Milwaukee and why they’re essential for your safety and peace of mind.

Understanding Emergency Brake Issues

Signs of Brake Trouble

Your car often gives you hints before a brake failure. Ever hear a high-pitched squeal when you stop? That’s your brake pads begging for attention. Grinding noises? Those could mean metal-on-metal contact, which is a big no-no. Maybe your brake pedal feels squishy or unresponsive—another sign that your brakes are in trouble. Pay attention to these red flags; ignoring them could lead to a full-blown emergency.

Causes of Brake Failures

Brake problems don’t appear out of thin air. They’re often caused by worn-out pads, leaking brake fluid, or overheating from constant heavy braking. Even rust from Milwaukee’s snowy winters can mess with your brake lines. Knowing what causes these issues can help you spot them early and save yourself from an emergency.

Why Choose 24/7 Emergency Brake Services in Milwaukee?

Round-the-Clock Availability

Life doesn’t wait, and neither do brake problems. That’s why 24/7 emergency services are a game-changer. Whether you’re driving home after a Brewers game or heading out on a snowy morning, knowing you can get help anytime is a huge relief.

Quick Response Time

When your brakes give out, every second counts. Emergency repair services in Milwaukee are designed to act fast. These teams prioritize immediate repairs, getting you back on the road safely and efficiently.

Specialized Tools and Expertise

Let’s be real—not all car problems can be fixed with duct tape and a YouTube video. Emergency brake services come equipped with professional tools and experienced mechanics who know exactly what they’re doing. From diagnosing the issue to performing high-quality repairs, they’ve got you covered.

Top Emergency Brake Repair Services in Milwaukee

Features to Look For

Choosing the right service isn’t just about availability. Look for certifications like ASE (Automotive Service Excellence) and check if they offer warranties on their work. Customer reviews can also tell you a lot about the quality of service.

Recommendations of Local Services

While we’re not dropping specific names, Milwaukee has plenty of reputable auto repair shops that offer emergency services. Look for ones with solid reviews, fair pricing, and a reputation for reliability.

Tips for Preventing Brake Emergencies

Regular Maintenance

Think of your car like your body—regular check-ups can prevent bigger problems. Schedule routine brake inspections and replace pads before they wear out completely. It’s a simple step that can save you a lot of hassle down the road.

Driving Habits

How you drive matters. Avoid sudden stops whenever possible, and give your brakes a break by coasting to a stop instead of slamming on them. Simple changes like these can extend the life of your brake system and reduce the chances of an emergency.

Conclusion

Emergencies don’t announce themselves, but being prepared can make all the difference. Milwaukee’s 24/7 emergency car brake repair services are a lifeline when you’re caught off guard. From understanding the signs of brake trouble to knowing who to call, staying informed is your best defence. So, keep up with regular maintenance, drive smart, and always have an emergency contact handy. After all, your safety is worth it, isn’t it?

First Rate Auto

5424 W State St, Milwaukee, WI 53208, United States

+14147743738

Get Direction From Google Map

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

Under the gun and ready to rock. Let’s have a little fun with the Potpourri category for 500 please, LeVar Burton. YES! We’re salty about it! LeVar SHOULD have been selected as the permanent replacement host on Jeopardy. But since he’s not… let’s see what this category has for you all.  

Aries 

You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do with your musical taste! You get your toes tappin’ to “Bugle Call Rag” as performed by Doc Severinsen & The Tonight Show Band in 1991… but the song was originally recorded in 1922! How the HELL do you like Big Band Jazz this much and STILL have Ariana Grande in that same playlist!? This Week… Add some Molly Hatchet to your musical collection. It’ll be fun for just the album artwork alone. 

Taurus 

The Devil’s come looking for you while you were out gassing up your car. Something about collecting on a promise from when you were in high school - something about playing the bass in a band and getting respect! He looked pretty disappointed, too. So This Week… Seeing as how it’s a natural law of the Universe that Bass Players never get respected, it’s likely that The Devil owes YOU some recompense. Either that or he’s going to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty.  

Gemini  

Speaking of school, how about your checkered history with the principal at your high school? He was a nice enough person, always well spoken, always supported you kids, and made it to at least ONE event for every group he could every year. And what did you do? You organized a Prank on him. How you managed to build a giant Christmas Present Box around his car is still a mystery to this day - and it’s still spoken about as a Revered Legend to this day. So This Week… He knew it was you - all those security cameras didn’t lie. But he hid the information from the authorities just so you wouldn’t get in trouble. Remember that as you plan for your next April Fool’s Day Prank.   

Cancer Moon-Child 

What do you get when you mix a Fender Rhodes, a Fender Precision Bass, a Fender Stratocaster, and a single, repeated, 8-Bar Riff? You get FUNK! You get so dirty, naughty, grindy FUNK to listen to. But you don’t want to just listen, you want to play, don’t you? Yeah, we know how much you miss writing music and playing in that just-starting-out band with the funky bass player and the trumpet wacko. Why did you leave the band just as they were getting big? We’re really trying to understand your motivations there. So This Week… Look up the biggest Zydeco Bands of the Early 21st Century and feel sorry for yourself at how high they’re on that list.  

Leo 

Time to plan your next vacation - but with a twist. Sure, it’s fun to take a flight from New York City’s Laguardia Airport to England’s Gatwick Airport, but let’s do something more fun… TAKE A CRUISE! Sure, instead of an 8 hour trip it’ll be more like a week, one way… but HEY! You can get up all you want, eat when you want to, use a private bathroom, and take a swim mid-trip! So This Week… Consider splurging for your trip for once! And remember, WIFI plans start at only $18 per day. So plan your trip on the Queen Mary 2 NOW! 

Virgo 

Your music collection is for crap. NO, SERIOUSLY! Just because it’s complete doesn’t mean it’s good. Sure, you’ve got all EIGHTEEN albums put out by That One Artist, but he’s only ever had like 8 Top-40 Singles, and four of them were all from the FIRST album. Buying all those records didn’t support them - all that money went to the record companies. So This Week… He’s on social Media. Look him up and send him a message of thanks for the music you enjoyed. Maybe he’ll write a song just for you too!    

Libra

You’re going to be headed out with your friends and have a GREAT time doing something you’ve always wanted to try doing; Prix Fixe! Yes, we talked about this on a previous Horrible-Scope, and that’s where you got the idea from. Let’s get you ready to finally take advantage of this fun culinary adventure, even if the cost will be an indulgence. So This Week… Spend a little money on a properly fitted suit so you look classy for this dinner. It’ll be worth it.    

Scorpio 

One of the things you miss is getting pecans, scooped from under a heat lamp, and poured into a wax-paper bag! Munching them on the drive home and having almost none left once you get there was so much fun for you… but now you’ve finally learned you have an allergy to them. Truly… TRULY a sad thing to know. BUT, it finally explains why it got harder and harder to eat them as the drive progressed. So This Week… Invest in some antihistamines so you can enjoy long drives with warm, succulent nuts in your mouth again. (*PAUSE*) We know what you’re thinking! You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Sagittarius 

No one else knows about this, but WE do, and we’re spilling the beans. Your favorite superhero is… Wonder Woman! And not just ANY Wonder Woman, but the first live-action version with Cathy Lee Crosby and Ricardo Montalban. You think no-one remembers that clunker, but WE do! And, really, we have no idea WHY you like that one; though Ricardo Mantalban just makes everything an Instant WIN in our book. So This Week… You don’t want us to talk about your Secret Bondage Fetish, DO you? Ok. We won’t. 

Capricorn 

We know you enjoy doing cross-mixing websites, but you’re really pushing your luck. Mix-n-Matching PokeMon into weird abominations is fun for kicks, but you’re trying to turn them into personalized CCG cards and sneaking them into overnight games, trying to beat all the coffee-guzzling young adults… and heaven help us, you’ve actually managed to do it a few times! So This Week… Remember, “Exodia” is NOT a PokeMon card character! STOP SCREWING WITH THE KIDDIES! You gunna get some Bad Ju-Ju that way.

Aquarius 

We’re not going to Tech Shame you here, but we kinda have to. Just because you have a Hand-Held Ham Radio, a “Where’s The International Space Station” tracking app on your phone, and a big-open sky doesn’t mean you can take over the ISS’ computers and hold them hostage! Your dreams of being an Evil Mad Scientist are just not going to manifest… because the ISS Laptops are running a specialized version of Debian Linux - so you’re screwed since you can’t hack those machines. So This Week… Find some eMachines from 1998 and load ‘em up with Mandriva Linux, or at least TRY to. THAT’LL make you mad REAL fast!

Pisces  

It’s That Time Again! It’s time for you to start getting ready for the summer - meaning dieting so you fit into your swimsuit again. NO, we’re not Body Shaming you for your size! We’re shaming you for refusing to buy a new swimsuit! Look, that suit’s survived Hurricane Gloria, fer crying out loud! It’s time to just retire it and stop patching it everytime it splits a seam. So This Week… If you’re not gunna buy a new suit, then make some proper cut offs. They’re ALWAYS in fashion.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord, and BLUESKY.

[murrumbaautocareau]

Mechanical Services in the Kallangur Area

Whether you’re looking for log book servicing, engine diagnostics, vehicle inspections or vehicle repairs in the Kallangur area, our mobile mechanics can help! We have been serving the community for many years.

Our mobile Kallangur mechanics offer a range of mechanical services to suit your needs and budget. Contact us today to book in your next service. To know more about Mechanical Services Kallangur, visit the Murrumba Auto Care website or call 0732856933.

Log book servicing is an important part of vehicle maintenance, especially if you own a car that is under warranty. It helps to keep your warranty valid, as well as extend the life of your vehicle and boost its resale value.

It’s also a great way to cut down on your repair costs in the long run! A qualified technician will be able to check for any damages and fix them before they get worse.

A car log book service is carried out in accordance with the manufacturer’s specifications and will include a list of checks and maintenance tasks. It is usually performed every 12 months or 20,000km, whichever comes first.

It is a standard vehicle examination that looks at safety checks, measurements, replacements and repairs if necessary. It also follows the procedures outlined in your car’s manufacturer’s logbook, proving that you’ve looked after your car well and maintained it sufficiently to warrant its warranty.

The engine has to be the king of the castle and our team is proud to offer the best of the best in the industry. With some of the finest technicians in town, we can get your car back on the road in no time. We also offer a full complement of mechanical services including log book servicing, maintenance checks and more. If you are looking for the best service in town, give us a call or drop by our shop and we will make you a part of our family. We have a discerning clientele and we are always ready to help.

Vehicle inspections are a vital part of car ownership, regardless of whether you're buying or selling a vehicle. They ensure that your car is mechanically sound and that any potential problems are identified before they become a serious issue.

Safety is a priority for any vehicle, so mechanics typically examine the brakes to make sure they're working properly and don't need any repairs before you pass your inspection. They also check to make sure the brake pads are in good condition and that there are no fluid leaks.

Mechanics will also inspect the windshield and wipers to make sure they're functioning properly and free of debris. They'll check for cracks or chips that could become a bigger problem down the line, and they'll check your lights to make sure they're bright enough to be seen at night. To know more about Mechanical Services Kallangur, visit the Murrumba Auto Care website or call 0732856933.

Located in the Kallangur metroplex of Sydney, Murrumba Auto Care has a knack for finding the kinks and making your ride look like it came out of the showroom. You can book a service online or on the phone and snag a free quote at the same time! Alternatively, stop by our blingtastic workshop to see what all the aflutter is all about. We’re the proud winners of the dMotivation customer satisfaction award and we wouldn’t be here without you! We take the utmost pride in delivering quality service that you can count on. We know you’re looking for a mobile car service that is both affordable and convenient, so let us show you the best of the best. Besides the usuals, we will do a little digging to find out what you need and then do the rest of the legwork for you.

[4ragon]

Might I request 19, 73 and/or 83 for Klapollo? (If i had to pick one i'd probably want 19 bc im in an angsty mood, but do whichever inspires you :D)

Okie doke, I'm going to stick to just 19 if that's alright with you then!

19. “No… No! Come on, I can’t lose you!” (It's not...QUITE word for word, but you know. Adjacent.)

“Hello, you have reached—Apollo Justice— At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished your message, hang up, or press one for more options.”

A beep. Klavier flinched, already feeling a bit faint. “A-Ach, hello, Herr Forehead! I, ah, couldn’t help but notice the news this morning, and, well, I thought—Just call me back when you’re available, ja?”

He hung up, ignoring the twisting of his gut as he plopped himself onto his leather couch. That was fine. This was fine. It wasn’t like Apollo always answered his calls. Maybe he left his phone on his desk, that’d happened before. Or maybe he was out of battery. Ja, that was it. Apollo’s phone was probably just out of battery.

Or hey, maybe Apollo’s phone was broken. It wasn’t so unbelievable that something could’ve happened. After all, it was easy to break a phone, and—

“We have a breaking news report. There has been one confirmed casualty in today’s shocking courtroom bombing. While the victim has not been identified—”

Klavier slammed his hand on the remote. The television went dark.

“His phone is broken,” he announced to his empty apartment. Vongole lifted her head toward him, ears perking up as he quickly began to pace again.

He had taken the week to work on some music. Herr Edgeworth had graciously given him some time off to do so. A small EP, if that, or maybe a single. Something that had been bouncing around his head since Professor Courte’s untimely death, something to dedicate to the woman who had encouraged both of his dreams. It had seemed a fitting tribute, and there hadn’t been any pressing cases other than the one assigned to Blackquill.

The space station case.

That was being prosecuted today.

Against Apollo Justice.

In the courthouse.

Where Klavier wasn’t.

He ran his fingers through his bangs, trying to ignore the way his hands were shaking. This was fine. Things were fine. Isn’t that what Apollo always said? I’m fine, I’m fine, and Apollo was fine, he was always fine. Even when he couldn’t answer his phone, he was fine.

The phone on the table vibrated violently. Klavier jumped, scrambling for it. “Hallo?!”

“...Hello! I’m calling about the extended warranty on your car—”

Beep

Klavier almost threw the phone, stopping himself and setting it forcefully on the table. A sharp inhale. A shaky exhale. He grabbed his guitar off the couch, sitting back down.

He began plucking chords, trying to remember the lyrics he’d been writing only an hour ago. You who gave me direction, who gave me music, something something the courts, he played a wrong note and almost screamed in frustration.

The phone vibrated again. Klavier glanced at the name, before freezing. Apollo Justice. He scrambled again, terror and relief coursing through his veins. “Apo--Herr Forehead!” He coughed, leaning back in his seat as if attempting to look natural. “It’s great to hear from you. Are you alright?”

There was a pause. Then a voice, “E-Err, hi, Mr. Gavin.”

Not Apollo. Not Apollo not Apollo not Apollo, “F-Fraulein Wright,” he stammered, a cold sweat on his neck. “Erm, is everything alright?”

He could hear Trucy shift a bit on the other line, a cacophony of voices in the background. “Yeah. Um. Apollo is in the hospital.”

Time froze. The world filled with static. Trucy continued to speak, barely audible over the buzzing filling Klavier’s ears and his mind and his chest and—

“Fraulein, which hospital are you at?”

“Huh?” Trucy paused what she’d been saying. “Oh, um. We’re at Hotti Clinic right now. Athena says they might move him out of the ER soon, and—”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Wh—”

Klavier hung up. Through the buzzing in his ears, he stood to his feet, taking a deep breath. What was he doing? What exactly was he hoping to accomplish here?

Another breath, ignoring the way his throat seemed to clench. “Nein. I’m not losing you,” he whispered, grabbing his keys and disappearing out the door.

[justseveralowls]

Funny moment:

So I was at work and we’d been getting quite a bit more phone calls (customer service voice is engaged) we’re in a small business in a small town so I am almost always talking to a real person whether it’s one of our artists or a person looking to get our hours. So I pick up the phone and do my usual “Hello thank you for calling [REDACTED] how can I help you?”

There’s silence on the other end for a moment and I’m waiting for a customer to speak so I hold the phone with my shoulder up to my ear

A beat passes and suddenly:

“WE ARE TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CARS EXTENDED WARRANTY” screeches out of the phone at full volume

I jump and drop the phone as a customer walks in and only manage to stammer “telemarketer” as the phone clatters to the ground

He gives me a quick nod then walks back out of the store….

So anyway they are apparently now advertising jumps scares disguised as scam calls.

What makes this even more ridiculous is I have never owned or leased/rented a car (I’m epileptic) and again this is a small business landline.

I’m laughing at myself and hope I didn’t traumatize a customer…

So anyway this was me

[chocolatepancakes]

Mixer Romantic ending.

(Y/N) laid on her couch staring up at the ceiling. It was the middle of July and she was hot, bored, and sweaty. She sat up and reached for the remote, just to be caught off guard by a text notification. Selever. She opened the app. [Selever] Hey Roachy! [Selever] my friends and I are going to the mixer [Selever] come with to even out the numbers (Y/N) looked at her screen. A mixer huh? Cool beans. It’s not like she had anything to do over the summer. She typed quickly as she replied. [Y/N] cool lemme in [Selever] lmao you’re actually gonna come? [Selever] okay, well, meet at 401 Dragon Rock Ave. [Y/N] there’s a bar there?? [Selever] lol who said we’re going to a bar [Selever] we gon be going to kareoke b#### [Y/N] OK [Y/N] what time [Selever] idk, around 8. [Y/N] K see ya [Selever] ciao (Y/N) looked at the clock. 6pm. She had about two hours to get ready. She set a 50 minute timer and turned on the TV. She had time to burn. So the time came. (Y/N) ran out her house with her purse in hand. She slid into her car and started it up. Streetlights passed as she turned left and right. A call rang. She picked it up. “Hello, who is it?” She asked. “Hello, I called to talk about your car’s extended warranty,” Selever replied. Snickering could be heard. (Y/N) laughed. Why did he always start a call like that? “Hi Sel,” she said. “Where you at right now?” “I’m only like, a hundred meters from the place.” “Ha, sure you are.” “Oh hey! I see you! Okay, imma hang up!” She closed off the call and pulled her car into a parking slot. Selever stood waiting for her. He was wearing something pretty different from his normal attire. He had a magenta dress shirt on, and a black suit vest over it. A complimentary black tie and dark dress pants completed his look. “Woah I didn’t think you’d actually come,” Selever smirked. “Getting desperate?” He asked. “Ha, no. Just doing my job as the number-even-outter.” (Y/N) replied, getting out of her car. “Really? Cause you seem pretty dressed up for someone who’s just evening out the numbers.” He was right. (Y/N) had dressed up a bit for this occasion. She wore a blue one piece with a flower on the head of its belt. She wore a white cardigan, and two strands of her (H/C) hair, tied in braids, met at the back of her head. She wore knee high socks, and Mary Janes completed the outfit. “Yes really, now let’s go in! I wanna destroy everyone’s eardrums!” (Y/N) grabbed his hand and entered the building. This one seemed to be slightly different from other bars. Like a Japanese kareoke place? There was a reception area, and you’d go into a room to sing. They ran past the reception and straight to the room at the end of the hall. Selever opened up the door. “THE LAST LADY’S HERE!” He yelled. In the room were two other guys, and two other girls. Starting with the girls, there was one with blue hair, which was tied back in her pony tail. She had pink eyes and wore a grey turtleneck with a long skirt. The other girl had black hair, which covered her left eye. Red eyes. She wore a beanie, as well as a black shirt. She wore jeans, giving off a relaxed vibe. As for the two guys, a grey cat was among them. His hair? Fur? Was tied back in a ponytail. He wore a yellow hoodie over a suit, she assumed. He wore black pants and wore brown sneakers. Last one was a skull of… a goat? Moose? A demon? He wore a white dress shirt, and brown dress pants. His body and limbs seemed to be invisible, as his head and hand floated in the air. (Y/N) cautiously entered the room. “Hello…. I’m (Y/N).” The girl with blue hair waved. “Hi!! I’m Sky!” She held some cards in her hand. “Wanna play Uno with us?” “Sure,” (Y/N) said, sitting down. Selever also sat at the boys’ side. A round passed. Then two. Then an an hour, as they ate and sang. “Kay! Uhhh (Y/N!) It’s your turn!” The cat man said, taking the input pad and handing it over to her. “Sorry Kapi, I’m not too good at singing,” she denied. “You sure? You haven’t sang all hour.” “Mmm maybe one song.” She took the pad and scrolled through the songs. Bingo. She entered the code as a upbeat tune started playing. She held up the mic, slightly embarrassed she was singing this. Selever gave her a thumbs up and smiled. She took a breath and sang. The others watched her as she hit every note. When the song finished, she put down the mic and quickly returned to her seat. They clapped for a moment or two. “Woah. You’re pretty good (Y/N)!” Sky said. “I’m really not,” (Y/N) said. “Oh for f###’s sake, just accept it,” Selever rebutted. “You’re good and you know it.” Kapi stretched. “Okay, I think we’re all warmed up.” Warmed up?! That was warming up?! For what?! (Y/N) confusedly looked around the room. “Tabi, where’d you put the spinner?” Kapi asked. “It should be with the chips.” Seriously what were they bouta do?! Kapi took out a spinner. On each slice was each of their names. Tabi, Annie, Kapi, Sky, Selever, (Y/N), all of them. Kapi flicked the arrow. Landed on his name. “I GO FIRST!” He said, grabbing his phone. He fiddling with it, he got something to play on the screen. His own song. He took a deep breath and started to sing. Annie cheered him on. (Y/N) looked in shock. He was singing his own song. This probably means the others have their own too. Goddammit, no! She prayed for the wheel to never land on her, she didn’t have one yet! Kapi’s song finished, and the screen read, “Beathoven.mp4 - unknown”.  “Oh yeah! That felt great! Okay, who’s next?” He spun the wheel again. “Uh… Annie! Ya gonna go?” Annie took out her phone. “Hell yeah I am.” She took a swig of her drink and got up. After fiddling with her phone, a new song started playing. She bopped her head a few times, until she also started to sing. (Y/N) leaned over to Selever. “You know I don’t have a song! What do I do?!” She whispered. Selever leaned back. “It’s fine. I can cover you if it lands anyway. Just get one of your weeb songs to play if I can’t.” As Annie’s song finished, she spun the wheel. Sky Same routine. She got up, fiddled around, and sang. (Y/N) paid no attention to it. She was only thinking about what would happen when her turn came. What does he mean he can cover her?! What does he mean play a weeb song?! Did he mean vocaloid? Before she knew it, Sky’s turn was over. Kapi spun the spinner. Oh god damn it. “(Y/N)! It’s your turn!” He slid the pad to her. She looked at it in fear. “Um- a-” she was cut off. Selever picked up the pad. “M'kay. I’m bored. My turn motherfruskas!” Nobody stopped him. Just sighed and shook their heads. He tapped his phone. A steady beat came out of the speakers. Selever smirked at (Y/N) as he began to sing. It was upbeat. Pretty steady, until 30 seconds in. A sudden tempo change. His song was upbeat. And somewhat fast. As the song finished he put the mic back down on the table. “You had a song?? Wh- why is it so chaotic?! HOW’D YOU EVEN HIT THAT?!” Sky questioned as she, and the others clapped. Selever leaned back with his hands behind his head. “It’s was made to fit me, and me specifically. Of course it’s chaotic.” Kapi put away the wheel. “Okay, since there’s only Tabi and (Y/N) left now, I’m gonna flip a coin. Tabs, heads or tails?” He flipped it into the air. “Tails.” Tabi replied. Kapi caught, and shielded the coin from view. (Y/N) prayed it was tails. He revealed the coin to be… “Tails! ‘Kay Tabi, you’re up!” He handed the pad to the floating skull, as a new song started to play. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief. At least now she could think of which song to sing herself. I mean, Aishite was pretty good, but dark. PoPiPo sounded too idiotic. She could sing partners in crime…. if she had a partner. “So, be honest (Y/N),” Annie said, still keeping her eyes on Tabi. “You don’t have a song, do you?” (Y/N) jumped. “I uh…” “It’s fine. I didn’t really expect someone like you to have one anyway.” Someone like me? The hell does that mean?! (Y/N)’s pettiness rose up. She still didn’t have a song, but she sure as hell knew which one she wanted to sing. Just as Tabi’s song finished, she snatched the pad and connected her phone. She looked up at the screen. Beeps played as she stood up, grabbed the mic, and waited for the first notes to come. She took a deep breath, turned to look at everyone and sang. “EVERSINCEIWASBORNFROMTHATDAYIHADKNOWNTHATIAMNOTHINGMORETHANASIMULATIONBUTI'LLKEEPLIVINGUNTILLDESTROYED, LIVINGFOREVERYESIAMAVOCALOID. IFFOREXAMPLESINGINGWASJUSTATOYTHATWOULDSINGBACKTHETUNESYOUGAVETOTHEMIDTHINKTHATWASALRIGHT, WHILEILOOKATTHESKY, BITETHISLEEK, WATCHTHESOUPPOURINGFROMMYEYES. BUTEVENSOI'LLDISAPPEARTHATIKNOWAPERSONALITYCHANGINGWITHEACHSONG, EVERYTHINGIWASBUILTONWASN'TSOSTRONG, ALLOFTHEPLACESIKNEWAREALREADYGONE, EVERYONETHATIKNEW, THEYDON'TREMEMBERME. HEARTORSOULIHAVENOTHINGLEFTINSIDEOFMEICANSEETHECENTEROFTHEVOID, YES I AM A VOCALOID!” She huffed as the intro stopped. The others looked at her wide eyed. She smiled. She may have regained a bit of confidence. As the vocals continued, she did too. Hitting every note perfectly as the song went on. At the end, she set down her mic. Selever clapped for her, and the others joined him. Tabi looked at the clock. Holy crap. 2 am. “Okay, I have to go, I have work,” he said, getting up. “Actually, we should probably all go now. The time’s almost up anyway,” Sky pointed out. (Y/N) picked up her purse. They were right. She didn’t have anything to do over the summer, but it was getting late. They all walked out to the parking lot, and said their goodbyes. Only Selever and (Y/N) was left now. “So, got anyone you put your eyes on?” Selever asked. (Y/N) sighed. “They were nice, but not really my type, ya know? Would go drink with tho 100%.” She smiled. “Besides, I don’t think any of the guys really liked me.”

“Do I not count as a guy for you then?” Selever snarked. (Y/N) looked at him with wide eyes. “You like me?” She asked. Selever flushed, being caught off guard. “What?! No! I didn’t- No! I just eurrgggggg” he buried his face in his hands and groaned. (Y/N) giggled. “Shut uuuup….” “No, it’s not that,” she replied, trying to force the giggles to stop. “It’s just funny how you like me too.” They stood in silence looking into each other. (Y/N) smiled as she left Sel for her car. “M'kay! Bye! Sel! See ya next time!” She said, as she drove off. Selever stood in front of the building. Hoooooly crap. She likes me. She… likes me? Why? What is there to like? He laughed at himself as he walked in the direction of the church. At least she liked him. That’s was all that mattered.

[ms-demeanor]

You know what’s funny is whenever I make a tech post I get people going “this is blatantly untrue” and I get people going “this is really good information and everyone needs to know it” and the dividing line is how much time you spend with people who are tech literate.

Yep, I would tell my computer savvy friends where they could get keycaps and fix their keyboards; I don’t even have to bother telling my computer savvy friends how to run a fifteen year old laptop because we’re all pretty good at it.

But GODDAMN I just read a response to my “cheap computer season” post that claimed that it was totally reasonable to run a macbook from 2010 and

Look.

That’s not a reasonable thing to tell a student who needs a functional computer to do research and write papers. (have fun trying to find installation discs from when the OS was still named after cats and have fun trying to get a browser to get along with that OS)

You know why most people bring me laptops with missing keys? Because the key got ripped off by their two-year-old and damaged the soldering in the keyboard and I have no idea it’s going to be “oh, yeah, that’s a ten dollar fix” or “sorry, that’s going to be an hour and a half to disassemble and reassemble and we’ll have to order you a new keyboard specific to that model out of new old stock” and the thing is the second one is much, much, much more common in my experience than the first.

Do I think you need to replace a laptop when the bezel is cracked? No. I also don’t carry my laptop powered on in the bag with a flashdrive sticking out of the USB port. Customers do weird things that I don’t understand and when a customer tells me they want me to fix the bezel they think it’s a twenty-dollar snap-on repair because they have no idea how this works and then they get mad at me when I explain “no, you’ve gotta have this specific piece of plastic, these haven’t been made in five years, and you might be better off buying a used model online than trying to track down a new bezel.”

So here’s the thing: Can Macs get viruses?

There are three answers here.

“No, of course not, Macs are made to be virus-proof”

“Macs need antivirus protection because, while it is less common than infections for PCs, there are types of malware that can infect macs and it’s worthwhile to guard against that”

“tEcHnIcAlLy a virus has to be self-replicating and IOS’s file management system [or some other bullshit] prevents that so TECHNICALLY Macs can’t get viruses and what you need is anti-malware software if you need anything because you’re fairly likely to have security through obscurity”

I’m aware of the third position and voicing the second position to people who believe the first position.

YES TECHNICALLY YOU CAN KEEP A COMPUTER RUNNING INDEFINITELY AND YES IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE YOUR LAPTOP WILL LAST TEN YEARS.

“Well if you treat it right and run it well it’ll be in great shape for a long time”

YES THAT IS CORRECT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK ON THEIR OWN CARS DRIVE AROUND WITH THE OIL CHANGE LIGHT ON FOR MONTHS?!?

Tons of people in the world today use computers. They use computers every day, they use computers at home and at school and at work.

Tons of people drive every day. They use cars for fun and for commuting and for their jobs.

That doesn’t mean that all (or even most, or even half) of the people using these things is any good at keeping them running, or even has the barest idea of how to start tracking down a problem.

Someone in the notes of that post described a green line on their screen and thought that was a symptom of hard drive problems. I don’t have the hours in the day to catch this person up to speed on why a display issue on a laptop isn’t indicative of hard drive issues.

Do you know how much people think it’s going to cost to get data off of a broken drive? Not “won’t power up” not “won’t spin” but “I dropped this and part fell off and now it won’t power up or spin and also the platter is chipped”? I’m going to have to send that shit to a clean room and the customer is *staggered* that it might cost more than a hundred dollars to get their data. “Outrageous, what kind of blackmail operation are you trying to run here, just plug it in and get my pictures.”

A year or so ago I was at Jiffy Lube (ew). I’d been shooting the shit with the mechanic when a parent and child rolled in in a panic. And they should have been panicking! They’d thrown a fucking rod because they’d been driving with no oil in the car for god knows how long because neither of them had had the oil changed in the two years they’d owned the vehicle.

*I* can keep a 30-year-old car running. I can put a belt back on an engine in a dark parking lot with a wrench and a headlamp. I can drop a gas tank and replace my fuel filter and thumb my nose at the mechanics who tried to upsell me on “replacing your old, worn-out air filter” the day after I’d popped a new one into my truck.

These folks couldn’t keep a new car running with three alarms telling them what was wrong.

*I* can power up my 2005 macbook running Leopard and use garage band to record a song or do some design work on my copy of Adobe CS3; I can kludge its FF3.5 browser into playing nice with the internet and accept that it’s going to be a slow piece of shit.

The lady who called me confused by the fact that the password to her email was different than the login information for her grocery store rewards account will not be able to function if she gets a pop-up that says she’s using an outdated browser and will think it’s a virus if her bank won’t let her log in on that browser.

And you know what, I’m kind of sick of this attitude.

I would *fucking adore it* if computers were actually easy to repair; I’d love it if you could run new OSs on old hardware (especially on macs because I think apple are kind of shitheads about planned obsolescence).

But you know what, no, most people *CAN’T* reasonably expect to use a ten-year-old computer and have pleasant experience of it. It’s going to run slow. It’s going to shut down when they don’t want it to. The battery is going to swell slightly with the heat and your touchpad is going to go nuts. Your USB ports will stop working. Standard wear and tear that most people don’t know how to protect against and don’t know how to repair is going to make it harder to use AND software requirements will outstrip the hardware capabilities of the computer.

If your old computer sucks it’s not your fault. If you can’t happily use a 10-year-old laptop to do your homework that’s okay, it wasn’t designed for you to use it that way and YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

Because that’s kind of what a lot of these “well anybody should realistically be able to run a laptop from 2010″ responses comes down to: if you need new hardware you’re just not doing it right. If you have to replace your computer you didn’t make good choices when you bought it. If your battery dies it’s because you didn’t take care of it.

No. No. No. No.

This shit is A) designed to fail and B) actually really hard to keep running (hey how many blown capacitors do you think someone has to have on their motherboard before you say it’s not their fault for wanting to replace the laptop)

ALSO SOMEONE IN THE RESPONSES OF THAT POST LITERALLY SAID THAT IF YOUR BATTERY DIED AT THREE YEARS IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T DOING THE DRAIN CHARGE CYCLE RIGHT AND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. It’s discharge cycles and heat, motherfucker; they are going to fail at some point and people shouldn’t feel bad if their batteries stop working after a couple years.

UGH.

You shouldn’t have to be a mechanic. You shouldn’t have to be a computer technician. Yeah, your shit will last longer if you know how to take care of it but, fuck. Imagine you were still using internet speeds from 2010. Imagine all your devices still had USB 2.0. Imagine you couldn’t log onto your online bank because your hardware won’t run he software that your bank recognizes because the hardware manufacturer decided it won’t support the older hardware.

What I was trying to get across in that initial post was “computers fail, and they fail pretty frequently; your life will be better and you will save money if you plan on replacing them at a regular interval and have reasonable expectations in terms of cost and failure. So buy a cheap computer now because you’re probably going to need one at some point”

And now I’ve got to Do A Yell about how there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism and it’s unreasonable to expect tired, overworked, broke people to become experts in computer repair in order to do their homework or play the goose game.

FUCK THAT.

IT’S CHEAP COMPUTER SEASON MOTHERFUCKERS. LAPTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT THREE TO FIVE YEARS AND DESKTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE DISCOUNTS ON NEW COMPUTERS AND IT’S CHEAP TO GET AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER AND WORK ON COMPUTERS IF YOU WANNA AND PLAN TO REPLACE REGULARLY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK ON COMPUTERS.

ALSO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING OIL YOU’RE PROBABLY DUE.

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 1 Part 1- It Begins with a Ballet

20 years ago a bunch of dudes came together to make Wan Shi Tong's Library from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

And in order to open it one must obtain the mystical shiny!

Not sure why they couldn’t dig or something. Is it reinforced on all sides? 

And making a key out of glass seems like a bad plan IMO but I’m not a martial arts master in Ancient China so what do I know?

----------

Oooh we starting with a roof-top assassin mission right from the off? Well hot damn!

Are they freaking out because of the lanterns though? Or because they noticed him?

Calm down! He’s just here to celebrate Rapunzel’s birthday with y’all!

This is a nice shot but it does kinda make me think he got there via hot air balloon which is always fun.

Oooh! These guys would be great at protecting Romani Ranch from “Them”!!

Bullseye!

OMG THEY DID COME IN VIA HOT AIR BALLOON I forgot most of the first part of this episode. Lol

-------------

Local Man shocked to realize that he probably should have started his letter about the royal assassins going around killing officials of the court a bit sooner as the royal assassins who are going around killing officials have arrived to kill him, an official of the court.

----------

Cut loose Footloose Kick off the Sunday shoes

----------

Young man with a bit more skill than the others requires main character to get his own hands dirty. if this were any other story he might have been the protagonist.

Lookin fly in that assassin hat tho.

----------

No thank you I just shaved this morning.

------------------------------------------------

Leg

--------------------------------------

I suppose this is one of the down sides to this otherwise ‘nice sword’.

Which is now a boomerang? What were you gonna do if he didn’t deflect it and like just dodged instead? Run after it? Call time out and chase your yeeted blade?

----------

Tryin to make us think our man in blue is getting the upper-hand now. But look at our MC. Look at how bored and unimpressed he is. He’s already dead inside.

----------

Nooooo his hat!!! rip

----------

I, for one, always appreciate when the main characters come with their own labels. It honestly helps me and I wish more movies and shows in like every country did that. I know here it’s like added flair for the drama. But you don’t understand how bad I am with names! You don’t understand!

----------

“I’m here to see Officer Li off.” Yeah off of this mortal plane

----------

----------

*oven ding noise because your goose is cooked, Son.

Called it

----------

Oop! He Zoomin!

----------

Tensions are high but just LOOK at that air time! Now that’ll be one for the books.

----------

“Gross”

----------

Sweeping villain theme while his cloak billows in the glow of the lanterns and the moon. This is quality villain posing and I’m HERE for it.

----------

“Zhou ZiShu, what you do to others will be inflicted on you later.” Bitch Imma do it myself

----------

He felt bads about it but tath was his duety

----------

Question, did she lay this out herself or did she ask someone else to do it so that she could be sad in style?

----------

I see you there settin’ up that there symbolism.

----------

Hello. We’re calling about your car’s extended warranty.

----------

Hi. Everyone you know and loved is dead by my own hand on made up pretense. Thanks for bringing me the body of the dead people *I* loved. For that I’ll let you kill yourself instead of running you through with my bendy sword.

We’re still cool, though, right?

----------

I’m thinkin this is the first of many instances of “Twisting the Screws” as it were.

Look! He’s silly! Playful! You can almost see the light of hope in his eyes!

----------

*Pouting intensifies*

-------------------------------

That awkward moment when you find out you just killed your beloved shidi’s girl.

Oops

----------

X Gon Give it to Ya

----------

Okay so I know what has happened and what is about to happen is so much worse than this but like don’t you think it’s just adding insult to injury to make this guy slow-burn end his life while having to sit in the damn snow?

you’re indoors! Close the sun-roof! Move the chair! Something!

----------

When people say “Screw this job!” they don’t usually mean it quite so literally.

----------

When do you think was the last time this poor bastard smiled?

----------

Yeah I’m gonna go with “ow”

----------

Hmmmm I guess no job is safe from those two gossipy coworkers that always seem to exist

----------

And then there’s this asshole

“Why hasn’t he come to see me? Is he still injured? How?”

“It seems he is suffering from “sad bitch” disease, m’lord.

----------

WHO’S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED??? WHO DARES TO TAINT WITH VULGAR PAINT THE ROYAL FLOWER BED?

----------

And so he decided to make the “sad bitch’ disease a permanent condition.

----------

“Don’t do that”

A little late there buddy.

----------

Look at him! He’s laughin! He’s having a good time!

----------

“I kinda sucked ass as a leader, didn’t I?”

---------

Man’s got pretty shoulder blades, nice and toned from carrying the weight of his sins.

----------

Thanks for coming! You look like shit :)

-_-

--------

It is admittedly some kind of power move to strip down to your skivvies instead of just explaining that you would like to die now pls.

Say what you want but Zhou ZiShu certainly has a flair for the dramatic.

----------

I would like to quit via slow and painful death now pls. May I pls have permission to die a slow and painful death now pls?

----------

This man speedrunning the 5 stages of grief. Shit we’re already at bargaining

----------

“I wanna get nailed before I die.”

----------

“In three years I’ll ascend the throne and that’ll show you!!!” “Bitch I don’t CARE.”

----------------------

“When my fortune said I could expect an unexpected promotion I didn’t quite expect it to happen this way.”

----------

Peace Out

TBC...

[whorefordazai]

a phone call we just had with our brother:

him: *calls us*

me: “jim’s crematorium, you kill em we grill em. this is eight ball speaking, how can i help you?”

him: “yeah we’re calling about your cars extended warranty-“

me: “is this a joke? my car passed away yesterday”

him: “oh i’m- i’m so sorry ;;”

me: *hangs up*

HELPP OMG 😭😭

[gonemechaniic]

𝐔𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 // always accepting!

      「 anon said :: “Hello, Ms. Aurum ! We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. Press 2 to be removed and placed on our do-not-call list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your vehicle's warranty, press 1 to speak with a warranty specialist.” 」

     ⚙ *:･ﾟ✧ // 𝑨𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒔, 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏? Guess Paw-Paw’s colorful little rant the last time didn’t reach as well as is should have. There’s a soft chuckle at that before catching the old man’s eyebrow raise inquisitively as he approaches and lets out a heavy sigh.

     ❛ Gimme the phone... ❜

          ❝ No, Paw-paw, they’re just doing a job, can’t fault ‘em for that. ❞ 

     ❛ They’re vultures gnawin’ off the corpses of lesser intelligent people. ❜

     At that Cindy just puts her hand up then points a finger his way that clearly says ‘back off’ to which he promptly steps back to lean upon the office door frame and crosses his arms, silently giving her the go ahead in a nod. Bringing pointed finger up a bit, sending one last wordless warning as she presses ‘1′ and goes into the most quintessential rapid fire Southern saleswoman pitch.

        ❝ Ok now which car are y’all talkin’ about? Cause I mean, lemme tell ya, we got LOTS! Let’s see here... there’s the Crown Jewel Standard, Type-D, and Type-F editions. Maintained by yours truly, not that I wanna toot my own horn or nothin’. Then there’s the somewhat mundane Insomnia Intrepid. Sure it’s coming from the capital, but that’s nothin’ t’ shake a tail feather over. But on the other hand we got the Imperial Ultima straight outta Gralea, however that is LITERALLY a TANK!!  ❞  A guffaw of laughter leaves her.  ❝ Great gas millage though considerin’ it runs off DISPAIR.... Oh an’ I didn’t even tell ya about the best one! Well best in my opinion cause it’s just the cutest lil thing you’re ever gonna --- hello? ... hellooo? ❞  She blinks a few times in her ‘confusion’, then turns to Cid with a single shrug of her shoulder. 

          ❝ Welp, I guess the Caem Classic Chocobo Convertible isn’t for everyone. ❞   She manages to keep a straight face while the veteran mechanic just takes a moment to shake his head. But Cindy notices the shake of laughter in his shoulders before the gruff chuckle eventually leaves and she’s not far off with her own bout of giggles as she sets down the phone.

[fastrateauto23]

Affordable Car Brake Service Near Downtown Milwaukee

Ever felt that heart-stopping moment when your brakes don’t respond as they should? Yeah, we’ve all been there. Taking care of your car’s brake services in Wauwatosa isn’t just about safety—it’s about peace of mind. But finding a service that won’t break the bank? That’s where it gets tricky. Don’t worry, though—we’ve got your back. Let’s dive into how you can keep your brakes in top shape without spending a fortune right here in downtown Milwaukee.

Why Brake Maintenance is Essential Let’s face it—your brakes are your car’s lifeline. They’re like the unsung heroes of every drive, silently ensuring your safety. Neglecting them can lead to costly repairs or, worse, accidents. Regular brake maintenance doesn’t just keep you safe—it helps extend the life of your vehicle and saves you money in the long run. Think of it as a small investment with big rewards.

Common Signs Your Car Needs Brake Service Not sure if your brakes are calling for help? Here are some telltale signs:

Squealing or Grinding Sounds: If you hear a high-pitched squeal or grinding noise, it’s like your car’s way of yelling, “Check my brakes!”

Reduced Responsiveness: Notice a delay when you hit the brake pedal? That’s a red flag.

Vibrations When Braking: Feeling a wobble? It’s often due to warped rotors or worn-out pads.

Warning Lights: Don’t ignore that glowing brake light on your dashboard—it’s there for a reason.

Ignoring these signs is like ignoring a leaky roof—it only gets worse (and more expensive) with time.

How to Identify a Reliable Brake Service Provider Finding the right service provider is like finding the perfect coffee shop—it takes a bit of research. Start by checking online reviews—sites like Yelp and Google are goldmines of customer feedback. Ask friends or family for recommendations. And don’t hesitate to ask potential providers questions like:

Are their technicians certified?

Do they offer upfront pricing?

What’s their warranty policy?

A good provider will answer these questions confidently and transparently.

Benefits of Choosing an Affordable Service Near Downtown Milwaukee Living near downtown Milwaukee has its perks—access to quality services being one of them. Choosing a local, affordable brake service means less time commuting and more time enjoying your day. Plus, local providers often prioritize customer satisfaction because they thrive on community trust. It’s a win-win!

What to Expect from a Quality Brake Service When you book a brake service, here’s what should happen:

Inspection: The technician will thoroughly check your brake pads, rotors, and calipers.

Replacement: If your brake pads are worn, they’ll replace them. Sometimes, rotors might need resurfacing or replacement too.

Fluid Check: Brake fluid is like your system’s lifeblood—it needs to be clean and at the right level.

Test Drive: A quick test ensures everything’s working perfectly.

Costs of Brake Service: What’s Reasonable? Brake services don’t have to drain your wallet. Here’s a quick breakdown:

Brake Pad Replacement: $100–$300 per axle.

Rotor Replacement: $200–$400 per axle.

Brake Fluid Flush: $70–$120.

Pro tip: Always get an estimate before committing—it helps you avoid surprise charges.

First Rate Auto: Your Trusted Brake Service Partner If you’re looking for affordable and reliable service near downtown Milwaukee, First Rate Auto is your go-to shop. We’re not just about fixing cars; we’re about building trust.

What Sets First Rate Auto Apart Here’s why First Rate Auto stands out:

Personalized Service: We treat your car like it’s our own.

Transparent Pricing: No hidden fees, no surprises—just honest, upfront costs.

Expert Technicians: Our team knows brakes inside and out, so you’re in good hands.

Conclusion Keeping your brakes in shape doesn’t have to be a headache—or a budget buster. With regular maintenance, attention to warning signs, and the right service provider, you can hit the road with confidence. So why wait? Schedule your brake service with First Rate Auto today and experience top-notch care without the hefty price tag. Safe driving!

First Rate Auto

5424 W State St, Milwaukee, WI 53208, United States

+14147743738

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