#‘omg REALLY I saw them stare dramatically at each other from across the room and then embraced on the balcony’

[fictiongods]

I just know the Catco employees spilled the absolute HOTTEST tea in the break room when they saw Kara and Lena on their little lunch dates. I JUST KNOW.

[nevernonline]

✧.* pancakes for dinner; svt smau

chapter 08; old wounds. (written)

✧.* synopsis: y/n while in her third year at greenwood international university finally gets an opportunity to move off campus into a new complex, she has to deal with the realization that her childhood rival is her new next door neighbor.

 paring: seungcheol x fem! reader. 

feat: non-idol! svt, nct mark&jaehyun, other passing idols ykyk.

genre/s: reader is super oblivious, fluffy, sexual themes. 

content: swearing, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

updates: weekly

tag list - open

word count: 5.5k

masterlist ▸ 07. shaken up not stirred ▸ 09. are we really doing this?

The cool night air nipped at Y/N's skin as she strolled briskly down the dimly lit street. It was far too quiet for comfort, but Y/N tried to shake the nerves prickling at the back of their neck. Her phone buzzed furiously in her hand as the group chat lit up like fireworks.

"y/n where’d u go??" It was Hoshi, always the anxious one. Y/N grinned to themselves, typing back a quick reply. "I thought you guys left?? omg i'm walking rn?? LMAO"

Not even a second later, another notification came through, this time from Yuqi: "we told you we’d be outside when you went pee??? wtf."

Y/N rolled her eyes, her thumbs flying across the screen. "LMAO im not alone, plus im fully sober rn so im okay!!"

A dramatic gasp emoji popped up from Yuqi, followed by: "i saw you take a shot? also not alone? 👀👀👀"

Y/N chuckled, thinking back to the single shot she’d taken hours ago at the party. One shot, one drink. That didn’t count, right? She glanced up briefly, spotting the tall, broad-shouldered figure of Mingyu walking beside her. He towered like a protective shadow, his face illuminated faintly by the pale moonlight.

"You're quiet," Y/N teased, nudging him. "Are you plotting something, or just sad your phone died?"

Mingyu groaned dramatically. "Sad. Definitely sad. I feel cut off from the world, Y/N."

Y/N snorted as she tapped out another message to the group chat. "okay one shot at 8pm and it’s now almost midnight, so pretty much. also im w/ mingyu and wonwoo if you guys were even remotely concerned about him. his phone died but he said he’s sad."

Yuqi’s response came almost immediately: "Mingyu is like an over 6 foot beef cake he’s okay??"

Y/N burst out laughing, Mingyu glancing down at her with a puzzled look.

"What?" he asked, leaning in to peek at the screen.

"Nothing," Y/N said quickly, shoving the phone back into their pocket. "Just our friends roasting you. Again."

By the time Y/N and Mingyu made it back to the house, the rest of the group had already gathered in Hoshi’s room, sprawled across the mismatched blankets and cushions. Hoshi looked up immediately, relief washing over his face.

"Finally," he said with a smirk. "We were about to send a search party."

Y/N rolled their eyes. "I had bodyguards, okay? Mingyu and Wonwoo had me covered."

Mingyu chimed in from the other side of the room. "Why Hoshi’s room, though? This place looks like a tornado hit it."

"He literally offered to help me clean it yesterday. Now he’s just being a dick." Hoshi fired back, crossing his arms.

As the room filled with laughter and banter, Y/N’s phone buzzed again—this time a private message from Chaewon: "y/n y/n y/n on the shuttle!! I saw your friends, where are you?!!"

Y/N quickly typed back, "just got to the house rn. we grabbed you some food for when you come 🫡"

Moments later, a reply came: "omg shut the fuck up ily. also wait so… some tea."

Y/N’s heart raced at the sudden change in tone. She leaned against the doorframe, typing back cautiously. "oop ✋ spill."

Chaewon’s next messages came rapid-fire: "well im behind seungcheol and seungkwan on this bus rn. and they’re not talking out loud but i can see them texting each other. and did you know seungcheol has a crush on you?"

Y/N’s jaw dropped, her pulse thundering in their ears. She stared at the screen, her friends’ laughter fading into the background.

"Y/N?" Mingyu’s voice broke through their thoughts. "What’s up?"

Y/N quickly locked her phone, plastering a grin on their face. "Nothing! Just… tea. You know how it is."

But inside, y/n’s thoughts spiraled. Seungcheol? A crush? On her? No fucking way

The night wasn’t supposed to spiral into chaos. Y/N had planned to stick with her friends, sip on vodka, and head home to her cozy ass bed. But now, surrounded by laughter, whispers, and more drama than a reality show, things were unraveling faster than they could process.

The moment they read Chaewon’s message, her world tilted.

"Seungcheol has a crush on you."

The words replayed in her mind like a broken record, even as she shoved the phone into her pocket, desperately trying to act normal. Chaewon didn’t elaborate, of course. She always left the juiciest details hanging, probably cackling on the shuttle right now.

"Y/N, you’re zoning out." Wonwoo’s voice brought her back to the room. His tone was calm, but his eyes were sharp—he noticed everything.

"I’m fine," Y/N lied, forcing a smile.

"Fine doesn’t look like that," Mingyu said, plopping down on the couch beside her. He nudged her shoulders with his. "Spill. What’s got you looking like you saw a ghost?"

"Nothing. Seriously, I just need to catch a second wind. Can’t we just go downstairs and drink and shit now? Come on." Y/N said, a little too quickly.

Before anyone could press further, the door creaked open, and a familiar figure stepped in. The room went silent for half a second before someone shouted, "VERNON?"

Y/N whipped her head around. Sure enough, there was Vernon—hands stuffed in his pockets, looking effortlessly cool yet slightly awkward as he took in the chaos of Hoshi’s room.

"Hey," he said casually, his gaze flickering to Y/N almost instinctively.

"You came!" Y/N blurted out, standing up before she had even realized it.

"Guess I did," Vernon said with a small smile. "Figured it was about time."

The room erupted into cheers and jeers, the group immediately teasing him for finally showing up to a party. Mingyu pulled him into a one-armed hug, ruffling his hair like an annoying older brother.

"Look at you, Mr. Social Butterfly," Mingyu teased. "Did Y/N guilt-trip you into this?"

Vernon’s ears turned pink, but he shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to see what all the hype was about."

Y/N felt their cheeks heat up but quickly changed the subject. "Alright, leave him alone. Vernon’s here to have fun, not be interrogated."

"Fun? Here?" Vernon smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Y/N shoved him lightly, the playful banter putting them both at ease—at least for the moment.

As the night wore on, the group split into smaller clusters. Mingyu and Wonwoo disappeared to the kitchen to grab snacks, Yuqi and Hoshi were locked in a heated debate about whose room was messier.

That left Y/N and Vernon sitting on the porch steps, the cool air buzzing with unspoken words. The lit end of a joint sitting between them.

"You good?" Vernon asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Y/N said automatically, but Vernon wasn’t buying it.

"You’re a terrible liar," he said, leaning back on his elbows. His voice was soft, teasing, but there was an edge of concern.

Y/N sighed, debating whether to spill everything. But Vernon had this way of making her feel safe—like she could tell him anything, and he’d never judge.

"Okay, fine," Y/N admitted. "Chaewon may or may not have just told me that… someone has a crush on me. But, it’s not someone I really.. Uh, enjoy to put it sort of lightly."

Vernon’s expression didn’t change much, but Y/N noticed the way his fingers twitched slightly against the step.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice calm. "And how do you feel about that?"

Y/N hesitated. "I don’t know. It’s Seungcheol."

This time, Vernon’s poker face faltered. His lips parted slightly, and his gaze dropped to the ground.

"Seungcheol," he repeated, his tone unreadable.

"Yeah," Y/N said, suddenly feeling awkward. "I mean… I didn’t even know he thought about me like that. To be honest I can’t understand why he’d ever, like we always hated each other. It’s fucking dumb."

Vernon was quiet for a long moment before he finally spoke. "Have you ever thought about him like that?"

Y/N blinked, caught off guard. "I mean… no? Definitely not anymore, maybe for a brief moment in time when I was in highschool, but."

"But?" Vernon pressed gently, looking at them now, his eyes searching y/n’s as he inhaled the flower.

"But…" Y/N trailed off, feeling her heart pick up speed. The words hung heavy in the air, unspoken but crystal clear.

"You’re too nice to everyone, you know," Vernon said suddenly, his voice quieter now. "Sometimes I wonder if you realize how many people look at you and wish they were the one you noticed. So I get it. But, you also don’t owe him anything especially with what went down the first time."

Y/N’s breath hitched, the weight of his words sinking in.

"Vernon…"

"I’m not saying this to mess with you," he continued, his gaze steady. "I’m just telling you the truth."

Y/N felt like the ground had been ripped out from under them. Vernon’s calm, collected demeanor was gone, replaced by something raw and vulnerable.

"I…" Y/N started, but their voice faltered.

"It’s okay," Vernon said quickly, standing up before she could respond. "I just needed to say it. You don’t have to say anything back. Chaewon is coming straight for us and you guys should talk, I’ll find you inside, okay? I expect you to make it worth my time out of my room later.” 

“You got it. But you don’t have to leave.” 

Before Y/N could stop him, Vernon handed her the rest of the joint, gave her a small kiss on top of her head and walked back into the house, leaving her alone on the porch with their thoughts.

Y/N stared at the lit joint in her hand, Vernon's words replaying in her mind like a haunting melody. The faint sound of laughter and music from inside the house drifted through the open door, grounding y/n just enough to notice Chaewon stepping onto the porch.

She wasn’t alone, of course—Chaewon was never truly alone. She had an effortless way of carrying an aura of confidence that turned heads. But tonight, her sharp gaze was focused entirely on Y/N.

"Are you hiding out here, or did Vernon leave you for some deep, weird, emotional soul-searching?" Chaewon asked, sliding onto the step beside her without waiting for an invitation. She reached for the joint in Y/N's hand, taking a drag as if it were hers to begin with.

"Both, maybe?" Y/N muttered, running a hand through her hair.

Chaewon blew out a puff of smoke, raising an eyebrow. "Both? Interesting. Spill it, bitch. I can tell you’re on the way to spiraling."

Y/N groaned, tilting her head back to look at the stars. "You’re literally part of the reason I’m spiraling."

"Me?" Chaewon gasped dramatically, placing a hand on her chest. "What did I do?"

"You told me about Seungcheol," Y/N hissed, sitting up straight to glare at her. "And now my brain won’t shut up about it."

Chaewon shrugged, looking entirely unbothered. "I just thought you deserved to know. Not my fault if you’re overthinking it. Also, I cannot sit on a juicy secret like that for too long."

"Of course I’m overthinking it." Y/N laughed. "It’s Seungcheol. You know how much history we have. And not the good kind."

"Exactly," Chaewon said  "Which is why I figured you’d want to know. Better to hear it from me than to have him confess out of nowhere, right? Or someone else finding out, as if Seungkwan hasn’t run the college gossip page before."

Y/N sighed, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "What ever happened to that? I mean not the point right now I guess. But still it’s just weird. Like, why now? And why me?"

Chaewon smirked. "Have you ever considered that maybe he was pretending not to know you so you can start fresh with him because he likes you? Men can be dumb asses like that."

"Chaewon," Y/N groaned, burying their face in their hands.

"Okay, okay," Chaewon said, laughing softly. "Let’s backtrack. Do you like him? At all? Like, are you willing to try to be his friend or co-exist or whatever?"

"No," Y/N said firmly. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, they added, "I mean, I used to. A long time ago. But that was before all the shit happened."

Chaewon nodded, her expression thoughtful. "Fair enough. So what’s the problem, then? Just let him down easy and move on. You’re not obligated to feel the same way."

"It’s not that simple," Y/N muttered.

"Why not?" Chaewon pressed.

Y/N hesitated, her thoughts swirling. "Because.."

"Ah. Wait– I see." Chaewon’s eyes lit up with understanding. She leaned back, a sly grin spreading across her face. "So that’s what’s really going on."

"Don’t," Y/N warned, but Chaewon was already on a roll.

"Vernon comes out to a party for the first time in forever, and suddenly you’re out here sharing a joint and having heart-to-hearts. Sounds pretty romantic if you ask me."

"It’s not like that," Y/N said firmly, but even she didn’t sound convinced.

"Sure it’s not," Chaewon said, rolling her eyes. "Listen, Y/N. You’re my friend, so I’m going to give it to you straight. You’ve spent so much time worrying about everyone else’s feelings—Seungcheol’s, Vernon’s, whoever’s—that you’re forgetting to think about your own. So what do you want?"

Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come.

Chaewon took one last drag from the joint before stubbing it out on the porch step. "Figure it out, my baby girl. Because if you don’t, someone’s going to get hurt. And it’s probably going to be you."

With that, she stood up, smoothing out her skirt and tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"Oh, and one more thing," she added, glancing back at Y/N. "You’re a fucking catch and if you don’t see that by now, you’re even denser than I thought."

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat, but before she could respond, Chaewon grabbed her hand pulling her back inside and distract her with the party.

The night didn’t end on the porch for Y/N. By the time she re-entered the house after her conversation with Chaewon, the energy of her day had shifted into something more chaotic but liberating. The dim lighting and thumping bass created a atmosphere that wrapped Y/N in its haze, making her forget her issues even just momentarily 

Mingyu was now on the coffee table, dancing without a care, and Yuqi had somehow coerced Hoshi into an impromptu dance-off. Wonwoo, seated on the couch, shook his head at them, nursing a drink with a quiet grin.

“Y/N! Finally!” Yuqi shouted over the music when she spotted her, grabbing her arm and dragging her into the middle of the room. “You’ve been moping for too long. Time to drink.”

“I wasn’t moping—” Y/N began to protest, but Yuqi cut her off by twirling her into a spin.

“Yes, you were, you little lying whore. But not anymore.”

As the music shifted to an upbeat track, Y/N decided to let go, her earlier tension melting into the rhythm. She danced, laughing with Yuqi, dodging Mingyu’s wild arm movements, and matching Hoshi’s exaggerated moves just to get a rise out of him.

Chaewon appeared by her side, her hair slightly disheveled but her grin wide. “See? Told you this party would be good for you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled. “Yeah, yeah. You’re always right, aren’t you?”

“Don’t you forget it,” Chaewon quipped, raising her cup in a mock toast.

As the song changed again, Vernon emerged from the kitchen with a red solo cup in hand, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on Y/N. He didn’t join them at first but leaned casually against the wall, a small smile tugging at his lips as he watched her laugh and dance.

“Are you going to stand there looking mysterious, or are you going to stop being a little bitch and join us?” Y/N called out to him, her breathless voice cutting through the music.

Vernon chuckled but shook his head. “Na, I love being a little bitch.”

“Oh, come on.” Yuqi chimed in, grabbing his wrist and attempting to pull him into the middle of their circle. “You can’t just stand there looking cool. It’s fucking illegal.”

Vernon resisted for a moment before reluctantly stepping forward. “People do assume I’m a bad boy, officer.” he said dryly.

The group cheered as Vernon finally joined in, his movements understated but in perfect sync with the beat. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone, which somehow made him even more magnetic. Y/N caught herself watching him a little too closely.

At some point, Mingyu decided it was time for shots and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a tray of tiny glasses. “One for everyone.” he declared.

Y/N hesitated, but Chaewon nudged her. “Just one. Come on.”

With an eye roll, Y/N accepted the glass, clinking it against Chaewon’s before downing the liquid. It burned on the way down, but the warmth that spread through her chest was worth it.

The night blurred after that, a mix of laughter, terrible karaoke when Yuqi found a microphone, and group photos that would undoubtedly resurface in their group chat the next day. At one point, Y/N found herself sitting on the floor, her back against the couch, as Chaewon rested her head on her shoulder.

“You look lighter,” Chaewon said quietly, her voice cutting through the noise.

“Maybe I am,” Y/N admitted, glancing around the room. “I think I needed this.”

Chaewon smiled, her eyes warm with understanding. “You’re welcome.”

As the night stretched into the early hours, the group gradually began to disperse, some collapsing into makeshift beds while others lingered to talk. Y/N found herself sitting by Vernon again, this time in the living room, the noise of the party replaced by a comfortable silence.

“Told you I’d see you later,” Vernon said softly, nudging her shoulder with his.

Y/N smiled, resting her head against the couch. “I’m glad you came out tonight.”

“Me too,” he replied, his voice steady but tinged with something she couldn’t quite place.

“How has everything been? Med School finally getting the baddies down?” 

Vernon just laughed and nodded his head, before he could get another word out Seungcheol entered the room and stopped in his tracks redirecting his attention from his phone to Y/n and Vernon sitting together, Hoshi sleeping on their feet like a small dog. 

“Hey guys.” Seungcheol called out quietly, creeping over, trying to not disturb Hoshi as he walked passed and sat on the couch to Vernons side. 

“Hey.” The pair just mumbled at the same time, now noticing the awkward shift in the energy. 

Vernon stood up and turned his head to y/n, ignoring the other boy's presence. “I’m going to carry this one to his room, you good?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure to come back.” Y/n giggled knowing Vernon wouldn’t leave her hanging for too long. 

“Don’t miss me too much.” As Vernon hoisted a half-asleep Hoshi into his arms, he shot Y/N a wink before making his way out of the room, leaving her and Seungcheol alone. The air seemed to grow heavier the moment the door clicked shut, the silence now sharp and charged.

Y/N shifted uncomfortably on the couch, suddenly hyper-aware of Seungcheol sitting just a foot away. He leaned back against the cushions, his hands clasped together as he stared at the coffee table.

"So..." Seungcheol started, his voice tentative, breaking the uneasy silence. "You and Vernon seem close."

Y/N glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "We’ve been friends for a really long time, yeah. Why?"

He shrugged, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "No reason, I guess."

Y/N wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she let the comment hang in the air.

Seungcheol hesitated, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Look, I know this is awkward. I wasn’t trying to interrupt anything."

"You didn’t," Y/N said quickly, though her tone was clipped

“So you guys aren’t da—” 

“No. Just two old friends.” Y/n gave him a smile just out of politeness trying to not lead on too much that she had an extreme desire to not be around him. 

“How did you guys meet?” 

Y/N knew the answer didn’t need much thought, but the weight of the conversation—and what it might lead to—hung heavily in her chest. She forced a smile, her fingers idly picking at the hem of her sleeve. "It was forever ago. Our moms were childhood friends. Vernon and I practically grew up together."

"Ah," Seungcheol said with a slow nod. "That explains it. You guys have that effortless thing. Like you’ve known each other forever."

There was something about the way he said it—soft, almost wistful—that made Y/N narrow her eyes. She didn’t like where this was going. "Yeah, I guess we do, but you knew that didn’t you? Why are you pretending to not know me? To manipulate me to make my life hell again? What?" she said, her tone neutral.

Seungcheol leaned back against the couch, studying her. "I don’t remember you mentioning him much back in high school."

Y/N let out a dry laugh, shaking her head. "Maybe because every time I tried, I’d get interrupted by someone making my life hell?"

The jab landed hard, judging by the way Seungcheol flinched. His lips parted as if to respond, but no words came out.

"Sorry, but you know it's true." Y/N said quickly, though her tone was anything but apologetic. 

"No, you’re right," Seungcheol admitted, his voice quieter now. "I deserve that."

Y/N looked at him, her expression unreadable. Part of her wanted to push further, to let him feel even a fraction of the frustration and hurt she’d bottled up for years. But another part of her—the part that was sick of carrying that weight—wanted to let it go.

"Why do you care so much about Vernon, anyway?" she asked suddenly, her voice sharper than she intended.

Seungcheol seemed taken aback by the question. He hesitated for a moment before answering. "I don’t. Not like that. I guess I just wanted to know more about the people you let in."

Y/N scoffed, crossing her arms. "Why does it matter to you who I let in?"

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t respond. Then he let out a breath, his shoulders slumping slightly. "Because I used to be one of those people," he said quietly.

Y/N froze, his words hitting her like a punch to the gut. She wanted to deny it, to tell him he’d never really been "in." But the truth was more complicated than that, and she hated it.

"You were one of those people," she said finally, her voice steady but cold. "And then you weren’t. That’s on you."

“Look,” he began, his tone uncharacteristically unsure. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the couch. “Everything?”

“You know what I mean,” he said, his voice quieter now. “High school. What my friends did to you. What I did to you. It was—”

“Cruel,” Y/N interrupted, their tone sharper than she intended. “You humiliated me, Seungcheol. You and your friends took something personal, something I trusted you with, and ruined my fucking life for a long time.”

Seungcheol winced, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I know. And I’ve been carrying that guilt with me for years.”

Y/N laughed bitterly, shaking her head. “You’ve been carrying guilt? Try carrying the humiliation of walking into school and having everyone know something you didn’t want them to. Of being laughed at, whispered about, avoided. You think your guilt compares to that?”

“I’m not saying it does,” Seungcheol said quickly, his voice desperate. “I just… I need you to know that I regret it. I regret all of it. And if I could take it back, I would.”

Y/N stared at him, her chest tightening with the weight of old memories. Memories of tear-streaked nights and the sting of betrayal.

“What do you want from me, Seungcheol?” she asked finally, her voice low. “Do you want me to forgive you? To say it’s all water under the bridge?” 

He looked up at them then, his expression raw. “I just want you to know I’m sorry. That I’ve changed. That I never meant to hurt you the way I did.”

Y/N felt her defenses waiver, but the anger bubbling beneath the surface was hard to ignore. "You can regret it all you want," she said finally, her voice steady. "But that doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t change who you were back then. People say they change, but they often don’t. You don’t just get to say you’re sorry and expect everything to be okay.”

“I’m not expecting that,” Seungcheol said softly. “I just… I needed you to hear it. Even if it doesn’t mean anything to you.”

There was a long silence, the air between them thick with unspoken words. Finally, Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair.

 Seungcheol's gaze dropped to the floor. "I know I messed up. I know I hurt you. And I’ve spent years regretting it."

"Regret doesn’t fix anything," Y/N shot back.

"I’m not trying to fix it," he said, looking up at her now, his eyes filled with something she couldn’t quite place. Desperation? Guilt? "I just don't want you to think I didn’t care. Because I did. I do."

The room felt impossibly still, the weight of his words pressing down on Y/N’s chest. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if there was anything to say.

"You had a funny way of showing it," she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I was an idiot," Seungcheol admitted, his voice cracking slightly. "I cared too much about what other people thought. I let them get in my head, and I let you down. I’ll never stop regretting that."

Y/N stared at him, her emotions warring inside her. She wanted to believe him, to let his apology wash away the years of hurt. But she couldn’t ignore the voice in her head reminding her of all the times he hadn’t stood up for her, hadn’t been there when she needed him most.

 "I wish I could go back and do things differently."

Y/N looked away, her throat tight. "Well, you can’t. And honestly, I’m not sure it would make a difference even if you could."

The silence that followed was heavy, suffocating. Y/N stood abruptly, needing to put some distance between them.

"I’m going to check on my friends," she said, avoiding Seungcheol’s gaze.

He stood too, his movements hesitant. "Y/N..."

She turned to look at him, her expression unreadable. "What?"

"I’m sorry," he said again, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N didn’t respond. She just turned and walked out of the room, leaving Seungcheol alone. 

The hallway was quieter now, most of the partygoers either gone or passed out in various corners of the house. She made her way towards Hoshi’s room where Vernon had carried him to earlier, her steps quick and purposeful, as though walking faster might help her shake off the weight of the conversation with Seungcheol.

When she reached the door, it was slightly open, and she could hear Vernon’s low voice murmuring something. She pushed it open gently and found him sitting on the edge of the bed, tucking Hoshi under a blanket. Hoshi was completely out cold, sprawled across the mattress like a starfish.

"Hey," Vernon said softly, glancing up at her as she stepped inside. His voice was calm, but his eyes scanned her face, picking up on the lingering tension she hadn’t quite hidden. "You okay?"

Y/N nodded automatically but then hesitated. She let out a shaky breath, leaning against the doorframe. "Seungcheol," she said simply, her tone carrying all the weight of what had just happened.

Vernon frowned slightly, standing up and walking toward her. "What did he say?"

She crossed her arms, her gaze dropping to the floor. "He tried to apologize. Again. Said he regretted everything. But I don’t know… It’s just—he doesn’t get to do that, you know? He doesn’t get to say sorry and expect it to fix everything."

Vernon nodded, his expression serious as he leaned against the wall beside her. "You’re right. He doesn’t."

Y/N looked up at him, searching his face for something—validation, reassurance, anything to help her make sense of the storm in her head. "But a part of me… I don’t know, Vern. A part of me feels like maybe I should just let it go. For me, not for him."

He tilted his head, considering her words. "Letting it go doesn’t mean forgiving him or forgetting what happened. It just means you’re not carrying it around anymore."

"Yeah, but how do I do that?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly. "How do I let it go when it’s just… there? Like this permanent scar."

Vernon reached out, his hand brushing lightly against her arm. "You don’t have to do it all at once," he said gently. "It’s not about pretending it didn’t hurt or that it wasn’t real. It’s about giving yourself permission to move forward, at your own pace."

His words were like a balm, soothing the raw edges of her emotions. She let out a shaky laugh, wiping at her eyes. "When did you get so wise?"

He grinned, the warmth in his smile instantly making her feel lighter. "Med school, obviously. They teach you all kinds of emotional shit there."

Y/N rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help smiling. "Right. Emotional bandages 101."

"Exactly," he said, his tone playful but his eyes still soft and steady on hers.

For a moment, they just stood there, the quiet hum of Hoshi's snoring wrapping around them like a cocoon. Y/N felt the tension in her chest begin to ease, replaced by a comforting sense of safety.

"Come on," Vernon said suddenly, straightening up and taking her hand. "Let’s go."

She blinked, caught off guard. "What? Where?"

"Anywhere," he said with a shrug. "The backyard, the porch, I don’t care. You need a breather, and honestly, so do I. Plus, I think Hoshi might start snoring louder any second now, and I’m not ready for that."

Y/N laughed, the sound breaking through the heaviness she’d been carrying all night. "Alright. He’s lucky he’s cute."

They slipped out of the room quietly, making their way to the back porch. The cool night air hit her skin like a refreshing wave, and she breathed deeply, letting it fill her lungs. Vernon let go of her hand but stayed close, leaning against the railing as they looked out at the quiet yard.

"You always know how to make things feel less complicated," Y/N said after a moment, her voice soft.

"That’s because they’re not as complicated as you think," Vernon replied, his tone light but sincere.

She glanced at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You make it sound so easy."

"It’s not," he admitted. "But you don’t have to figure it all out tonight. Just be here. With me. Right now."

Y/N nodded, the tension in her shoulders melting away as she leaned against him as he enveloped her in his arms. The stars above them shimmered faintly, and for the first time that night, she felt like she could breathe again.

As the silence stretched between them, comfortable and unspoken, she realized just how grateful she was for her friends—for their steady presence, the unwavering support, and the way they always seemed to know exactly what she needed, even when she didn’t.

note: hi. omg. I really did drop the ball on posting this for a hot second, but we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming from now on <3

taglist: @minhui896@sun-daddy-yoriichi@luchiet@miles-sketchbook@kissesfrmwonwoo@readerlozies@vcutparis@mxnhoeuwu@writingbarnes@headlockimnida@odxrilove@jeonghaniehaee@bath1lda @wonwootakemyheart @dokyomis@hanniesdegree @blvkkeddcc@gyuguys @rakshithanotrao @multiplumes

[slasherwife]

Can you do a imagine with Thomas please and it's about him being over protective when Hoyt and Monty make gross jokes about her like how's she's really hot and it ends in a lot of smut please ☺️

OMG YES U ABSOLUTELY MAY💓💖💕also after my post on jealous!reader a while back, I’m not very comfortable writing a lot of smut 😖😖 I gave a bit though!!

Imagine Thomas Hewitt getting very protective over you...

Y/n has been a part of the Hewitt family as Tommy’s wife for a while now, and Hoyt isn’t exactly the gentleman he pretends he is… smut below!

Tommy is a sweet, gentle, and loving husband. That much is obvious. You are the light of his life and he hides his violent nature from you as much as possible.

But additionally, Tommy is very protective. To the point if anyone were to make you uncomfortable, they would have him to reckon with.

God forbid you come to him with the complaint of someone insulting or laying a hand on you. It’s very likely he would hunt them down without your knowing, and give them a brutal beating or even kill them.

His rage doesn’t discriminate. Even if Luda were to lay a hand on you, there would be hell to pay. Hoyt’s no different.

Tommy is not an agressive boy. He’s gentle, sweet, kind. He is all of these things all of the time, all except for this moment. But you knew he wasn’t angry with you. He would never. He stormed over to you, towering over your fragile form before taking your wrists in his hands, and taking you into his burly arms. He’s not the type to dramatically throw you over his shoulder and march off. He cradled you into his shoulder. You’re still his beautiful angel who needs to be safe. And right now you’re not safe, he’ll make you safe again Y/n, don’t worry

* * *

You weren’t far into the day before Hoyt’s leering eyes began following your form around the living room and kitchen. Monty was next to him, completely on the same page though they said almost nothing to each other.

Tommy was next to you, cleaning some dishes. Luda hadn’t trust Tommy’s large, clumsy hands with cleaning dishes until you suggested it. Who knew he could be so gentle? He turned to set a stack of wet dishes on the counter, just long enough to catch two pairs of looming eyes across the room. It caught him off guard, and he gave a double take. He knew a lustful gaze when he saw one.

He stared at them, and swayed to backwards slightly, gaining back his balance before throwing his shoulders back. He breathed out, studying them. He squinted, and Hoyt noticed this, looking over to him before yelling at him to get back to work. Tommy was hesitant, but he slowly went back to washing dishes, paying more attention to you, though you didn’t seem to notice Hoyt and Monty’s leer. He hates to turn a blind eye to your safety, he hates himself. But he wanted to protect your innocence, how you didn’t even suspect it. How sweet of you. Poor thing.

When you were putting away utensils, you dropped a simple fork. You hesitantly bent over to pick it up.

“Bend over for me one more time.” Hoyt called as you rose from the floor, and Monty laughed.

Sometime dark and terrifying bubbled up inside of Tommy. He was absolutely fuming. You looked over, gazing into his face. His eyes were dripping with blood lust, at how they dared to speak to his wife that way.

“Tommy, d-don’t—“

But he didn’t bat an eye, instead he was over to them in an instant. How did he get over to them so fast? Hoyt was being hung from Tommy’s whitening fist, clenched so tightly around his neck that Hoyt’s eyes began to turn red and bulge from his sockets. You wanted Tommy’s protection, but you never wanted Tommy to kill Hoyt for you.

You began to cry, those angelic eyes making Tommy all weak. Everything was in slow motion. Hoyt had been hanging there for a bit too long now, the light in his eyes starting to flicker dark. Tommy wanted to tear him apart with his teeth. He hates Hoyt. But you were just too precious. Too sweet.

“Tommy stop it! Stop it! Tommy!” Your voice roused him from his deep rage, and if you did not, he would have murdered his abusive uncle once and for all. He dropped Hoyt, and ignored his pitiful gasping for air and turned to you. You looked like an angel before him. But his pure admiration was cut short by the rage that bubbled up again. Hoyt thinks he can have her. But she’s mine. All mine.

* * *

“Tommy what are you doing?—“

“Mine.” He growled in that deep, smooth voice of his.

“Tommy please.”

“Not allowed to touch you.” He drawled as his caressed your thighs as you sat on top of the dresser of your shared bedroom, you staring up into those hungry orbs of his. “Me only.”

“Of course!” You exclaimed, cheeks red hot with embarrassment as you wrapped your arms around your husband’s neck. You pulled him close, and he ripped his mask off hastily, pressing open mouthed kisses on your neck while you moaned into his ear. He rutted against you when you did that, his head spinning with growing lust as his huge bulge was grinding into your most private area, and your face was red and hot with pleasure.

“Tommy…” you moaned, and he pressed a kissed onto your soft lips while he undressed you.

“He can’t have you. No one can.” He growled, and you nodded vigorously, wanting nothing more than for his to keep grinding against your core.

“I’m yours, Tommy.” You sighed, throwing your head back as his hands wasted no time reaching up your shirt to grip your cute breasts in his meaty hands, his skilled fingers pinching your sensitive nipples making you squeal with delight. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he laid you softly onto your guys’s bed, hovering over you, locking you away from anyone else’s view.

After tonight, no one would look at you the same. Not after they learn that you belong to Tommy Hewitt.

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 5

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Eventual Smut

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / mention of feet

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6

Baekhyun was trembling. His hands were actually shaking so much each time he tried to type into the keyboard of his phone he hit the wrong letters and the typos rendered his message impossible for even the autocorrect to guess what he was trying to say.

“Just — ugh — just give me a regular keyboard for fuck’s sake,” he was grumbling to himself, “my hands wont stop shaking. I can’t. I can’t do this.”

He tossed the phone with force away from him and it landed face down on the carpet across the living room.

“No. I refuse,” he was staring over at the phone on the floor with a shell shocked aura about him, “just forget it. I’ve changed my mind. I can’t. I won’t!”

You’d given him a homework assignment an hour ago.

Ask a girl out on a date.

He’d been sitting on this sofa with his phone in his hands, writing, deleting, rewriting and deleting, again and again, into the text message conversation he had going with Mia.

It had been going pretty well with Mia actually. You’d been handing him the reins more and more and you both celebrated together with a single glass of wine the night he’d had his first actual phone conversation with her. Baekhyun was a lightweight and usually refused to drink more than a few sips of alcohol but he’d gone for the chilled bottle in the fridge and poured it into two glasses and handed one of them to you and lifted his own into the air. He did not wait for you to acknowledge his toast though. He just downed the contents of his glass with a wince on his face in a single go, slammed the empty glass down onto the counter roughly and stormed out of the kitchen toward his bedroom. You sipped your glass and counted it as a shared celebration.

His phone call lasted for 3 minutes and 32 seconds and he managed to tell one awkward joke that elicited audible laughter from the girl. You knew because you sat on the couch beside him with your ear pulled up as close to the phone as you could manage, trying to hear everything that happened. You’d let him know you were here to intervene if something went wrong but honestly you were sure he would do well on his own. And honestly, he was about to do well on his own, despite how awkward and very nervous his voice was.

They had gotten past the introductions at least twice when he briefly forgot what came after “hello” and simply said it a second time. She at least said it twice too and the awkward pause that came after that went on for too long when you held up the index card in your hand and pointed with your finger to the question you had written down.

“Uhh...so h-how...umm...how are — I mean, what are you up to?”

You couldn't make out her response, but whatever she said pulled an interested hum from the back of his throat and he made a quick witted remark that had her giggling in response.

You could definitely make out the sounds of her laughter and you could instantly see the change on his face when it happened. You saw the brightness form inside his eyes and he turned to look at you with a surprised expression as he lifted a finger to point at the phone he held in his hand.

His eyes were wide with something in between amazement and panic and he mouthed the words ‘she’s laughing’ at you and you nodded enthusiastically in response.

Unfortunately a few seconds after the joke he accidentally dropped the phone and it took a wild bounce, landing somewhere under the couch. He couldn’t find it for two whole minutes and when he finally found it, he made up some excuse about having to go because he smelled something burning.

He stared at the phone until the screen turned black and he didn’t move when you rubbed a soothing hand over his back.

“That went pretty good,” you offered. Baekhyun grunted and turned toward the kitchen for the celebratory toast.

Since that night, (you know the one) you’d intentionally taken on a more supportive teacher role in this project. You vowed to keep yourself involved as much as he needed and you swore you could keep your own selfishness from impeding his progress. The way you had been acting had been unfair and he was too good to you for him to deserve anything less than your very best.

You had made a promise to Baekhyun and then you made a promise to yourself to follow through on that promise. You would move Heaven and Earth to help him reach his goal because he deserved it and seeing him happy would be enough to get you through anything that came your way.

You were fine.

No really, you were completely fine.

He was moaning.

You sat on the couch beside him with your foot propped up on the coffee table as you carefully applied the second coat of polish to your toenails. You’d become quite the expert at applying polish to your nails during bumpy situations. Sitting next to the man who flailed and squirmed beside you on this sofa was commonplace and simply no big deal.

You could probably do this during an earthquake.

His moaning turned into much louder moaning and he threw himself back onto the arm of the couch dramatically and in protest of the unfairness of your assignment.

“Buuuug,” he whined through his nose, drawing it out like a little kid.

You’d just finished your pinky toe when his foot pushed up against your thigh.

Your aim was quick and you reached over and grabbed his foot by the heel as you pivoted in place.

“Be still,” you said calmly and you held his foot in place as you applied the bright red polish to his big toenail. You often did his toes to match your own because it made his toes look adorable and he wore socks everywhere he went anyway so he didn’t mind what you did to amuse yourself.

You moved quickly, dabbing carefully over each of his nails until they were all painted to match yours. You blew air over them to dry them, being thankful you’d invested in the 60 second polish.

“Buuu-hu-hu-hu-uuug,” he moaned harder, wiggling his hips into the fit he was throwing and closing his eyes to sell you on the absolute anguish he was in. “Bug, I just don't think I can do it. Can we do something else? I don't even know what to do on a date. What if she says no? Oh god, what if she says yes, I’m going to puke. Do you want to see me puke? Because I am going to puke.”

You tapped a hand lightly over the top of his finished foot and pointed to the other one and after a few moments he shifted, giving in to what you asked for right away.

But good lord, he was dramatic. The whining and the moaning intensified just when you thought you couldn't stand another volume increase he raised his voice into a shout and put actual words to his protests. Your ears were already ringing and you could feel your substantial patience — really, you were on a level with a Buddhist monk after two years living with this — beginning to shake.

“I mean, if I asked you to teach me how to swim would you chuck me into the ocean on the first day?”

You forced your focus down on his other foot, getting the polish smooth and perfect with each stroke. He had gone quiet after his question to you and you bit down on your lip as you carefully pondered the words he was saying. The last thing you wanted was to make him so uncomfortable he was unable to go about his daily life. You didn't need this project to become a source of heartache for the man.

You were not an unreasonable person. Perhaps this really had been too big of a step for him to take without having even practiced under the careful instruction of a teacher.

He’d waited in silence for you to answer for only a few seconds and when you didn’t; because you were thinking about it, dammit, he threw his whole head back and his mouth opened up and he wailed into the ceiling above his head at an even more annoying volume than you thought was possible. This was new and shocking. It was deafening. Surely the neighbors would think someone was being butchered in here.

The awful sounds were coming straight from his diaphragm. The man had power in those pipes and he was going to destroy your ear drums in order to get his way. It went on and on, changing from a moaning, groaning large-dog-with-a-bellyache sound into what you imagined it might sound like inside of an echo chamber trapped with a big sad whale, the biggest ones they made, who also happened to be on fire. He was giving you everything he had now. This was full volume and it was horrible.

“Alright!” You shouted over the wretched screaming, “Alright fine! For the love of God, Baekhyun!” You said for emphasis and the incredible relief of silence flooded and cleansed your ear drums that still vibrated from the after effects of all of that noise.

He lifted his head and closed up his mouth instantly and his eyes were wide as he cautiously watched and waited for what you would say next.

“Do you want me to teach you? Do you think you can practice with me so you learn how to do it before you have to do it for real, on your own? That’s what you mean right? You want more instruction before I throw your ass into the ocean?”

His lips were situated down into a fierce pout now and he nodded his head twice; a big ol’ up and down.

You were irked now. No amount of pathetic pouting on that face could pull you back from the edge. Even the slow careful nod of his head was just an obvious attempt at winning you over with cuteness. Well, it wouldn't work. If anyone was capable of annoying someone to death, it was this man right here and he came very close just now.

“New assignment,” you said with your finger raised and he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and pushed his top lip forward as he inflated his cheeks into round balloons. He sat up straighter and he waited for you to speak.

“Since I am a woman,” you began with your finger still raised and waving in his direction. His eyes glanced down at it, “you may ask me out on a date, for practice. And if I say yes, we will then—”

Your pointed finger was joined by your whole hand as you opened it up and you waved it through the air twice, a visual representation of cause and effect of such a situation. His eyeballs followed every movement you made, looking at the hand that moved instead of at you, the actual speaker.

His eyes popped up into yours when he registered the words you were saying; the requirements of his new assignment.

“...we will then — well, we will..”

Your words were sticking. He was listening very closely and he’d released the air trapped in his mouth and his lips now hung open as his eyes occasionally followed the waving of your hand in front of his face. It was silly how shifty his focus was when your hand moved in front of him.

“We...will…” he said and his face moved, mirroring the movements of your hand as he tried best to understand the new task you were trying so hard to assign to him, even repeating your words to help you get the next ones out.

“We will go on a date. A real one. A practice date. You will have to take me on a date, Baekhyun. You’ll just have to .. do your best at it.”

“A date? I’ll have to,” he said with a flinching, squinting blink of his eyes, “...do my best?”

“Yes, of course,” you said as you pointed your finger at him again, pulling a swift but deep gasp into your lungs to fight the dizziness you could feel building inside your head, “It’s an assignment. Like school. I will give you a grade on how well you do. If you fail, then it’s over and I’m a terrible teacher and clearly your problems are beyond my area of expertise.”

His polish was dry. This conversation needed to be over because you were weirdly agitated by the wide eyed, deer in the headlights expression stuck on his face.

“I’ll send you some study materials later. You better take this seriously, Byun Baekhyun. This is a real assignment from your real dating teacher.”

The entire situation made you anxious. The desire to flee was very strong. You needed a getaway and you needed it now. You felt a tremble inside that could only be attributed to just how freaked out he had been acting. It was rubbing off on you.

You wanted to make a quick escape but you were now fighting with the many bottles of nail polish scattered across the coffee table; you’d gone through so many of them as you decided on which color to use — they really were just numerous and just everywhere. You grasped at them, trying to grab huge handfuls at one time but your hands couldn't hold as many as you wanted and each attempt sent a bottle or two clattering noisily to the table below. It was really ruining the dramatically cool exit you were trying for.

After quite a bit of noise you felt the warmth of Baekhyun’s arm as he leaned against you and began to help you pick up the bottles; carefully placing each in it’s designated spot in your huge nail polish organizer.

It took a bit of effort for you to turn to look at him and when his fingertips carefully placed the final bottle in the case you clicked the lid closed and finally managed to face him.

His eyes were flighty. His face was flushed and when he met your eyes the smile on his lips was very tense. It looked like a grimace.

You had to be insane to be doing this. Willingly putting yourself into a situation like this with him, a situation that was for instructional purposes only, but a situation nonetheless. Your heart was racing inside of your chest and you briefly wondered if he could hear it with him sitting so close to you.

You swallowed it away, the nerves or the uncertainty or whatever it was that had taken hold of your hands and made them unstable and you turned to look into his face head on.

“Do you understand the assignment?”

Baekhyun filled his lungs with air and straightened his shoulders, pulling them back as his eyes closed up. You recognized the self calming behavior. When he turned to look at you he held a new determination in his eyes and he nodded his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was always a good student,” he said, “I will do my best with this assignment. I’ll take it seriously, so I can learn from you well.”

You reached forward and patted the back of his hand lightly and offered a reassuring smile.

“Don't be too nervous, okay? Remember it’s for class so you should learn from it. Mistakes are natural and they help us grow. And you won’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I mean it.”

He swallowed and his lips flattened out into a thin line across his face. His head bobbed up and down and he hummed out a response that told you that yes, he did know what was expected of him for the sake of the lesson; for the sake of his future as an adult man who was entering the dating pool in search of the companionship of some lucky lady.

“Also remember, it’s just me. No pressure. Okay, Peanut? I’m here to help you. You could spill an entire cup of iced tea down my dress at dinner and I would still forgive you.”

“No pressure,” he repeated under his breath and when you were finally satisfied that he really understood, you stood, hefting your manicure supplies up with both hands and you stepped away from the living room to return them to your bathroom.

“Do I have a deadline?” He called after you and you turned back with your hand on the doorknob to your room, quietly amused by the seriousness you saw on his face. At the same time, proud of what a good student he was. He was a smart boy, he would do well in anything he was determined to do.

“Ask me out by tomorrow or else Ben might beat you to it.”

You figured a little sense of competition couldn't hurt. And yes, you were still actually speaking regularly with Ben. You were pleasantly surprised with how smart and how funny he turned out to be and he turned out to be a pretty good distraction for the evenings when you’d normally be bored and hanging around in Baekhyun’s room while he played some game on his PC and he’s toss you a remote for the screen that hung up on the wall above his head. You’d play music videos, or cooking videos from YouTube, or some drama or variety shows and he’d play his games and lean far back in his chair watching the screen when exciting things happened on screen.

A few times lately though, when you went into his room you’d find him watching some anime and you just knew he’d want to pay close attention so he could discuss it later with Mia. You’d much rather find someone to entertain you alone so you didn’t have to be ignored or shushed when you interrupted his anime with some stupid question about it, like who is that guy with the crazy eyes and why is he trying to kill everybody. Ben’s conversations were good enough to keep you occupied at least a little bit.

Back in your bedroom you got to work searching for materials for Baekhyun to study. Mostly using helpful YouTube videos with titles such as “how to ask a girl out”, “what to talk about on a first date” and a super helpful online book you found called The Gentleman’s Guide: How to be the Perfect Date. It was just a little outdated with the styles but the book was extensive and ran the gamut from hygiene to manners to confidence and conversation; it even had an entire section called The Art of Subtle Seduction and it made you just a little embarrassed to think of Baekhyun reading this part. He was an adult. He could handle this much. The Dos and Don'ts of a First Date section alone was worth the price you paid for the book.

You wrote up an email with your course materials and sent it off to the man.

Then you sat and waited alone in your bedroom until your level of boredom that in any other situation would be unremarkable, when combined with the built up anticipation inside of you, mixed into a perfect storm of swirling lunacy that was bouncing around inside of you; trying to break free and wreak havoc on something other than your chest walls.

You grabbed your cell phone, slipped by the 2 waiting text messages from Ben that you would absolutely get to later, and opened a new text message to Baekhyun.

‘peanut did you get my email ^^?’

You were sure he did. Of course he did. You wondered if there was anything he found lacking in the pages and pages of super helpful information you sent him. You wondered what he thought about it all and maybe if he needed some guidance or suggestions on how to proceed with the first step of his assignment. Did he need you to come over to his bedroom and watch the videos with him? Would that be too awkward?

Your phone vibrated.

‘yep’

He would ask for help if he needed it, you were certain. He would be fine. This wasn’t real anyway. It wasn’t like there was an actual deadline, not really. You enjoyed talking with Ben but it didn’t seem like he was close to asking you out yet. He had been a bit busy lately and you had been busy as well with work and with helping Baekhyun.

You’d seen from the notification preview on your phone that Ben’s last two messages were asking you something that would take a while to explain and you didn’t want to open them yet in case he’d been expecting you to reply quickly. You needed a bit more time to come up with an answer for the questions he had casually asked about your roommate. You’d tell Ben that Baekhyun was, yes, a guy. And no, it wasn’t awkward living with a man.

You’d get to all that later. Now, you were entirely too keyed up about a problem of your very own creation.

When.

But really...

When?

You could not relax. Because honestly it could happen at any moment. He could come barging into your room, plop his ass down unceremoniously on your bed and say “Hey Doll, hows about you and me go on a hot date this weekend, what about it? Nyeeahhh?” Like some sort of 1940s gangster. You could definitely see Baekhyun doing this accent. You were pretty sure he had a 40s gangster hat in his closet.

You’d decided that you wouldn't give him a hard time about how he asked you. You’d accept right away for the sake of his nerves, if he worked up the courage to ask you at all, then he was on the right track and he deserved an E for effort.

You still had trouble with the anticipation. Not knowing when was the hardest part to handle. You tried your very best to go about your day in as normal a way possible. Sure, you jumped every time you heard a sound, but other than that, it felt like any other day.

He spent the rest of the evening in his room and didn't even come out until you heard the doorbell ring. You peaked your head out of your bedroom door and waited for him to answer it but after a few minutes with no sight of him you stepped out. The doorbell rang a second time and you rushed from your room to answer it before the visitor gave up.

It could have been something important. This building had a doorman so it was usually someone who had a purpose ringing the bell.

The view through the camera monitor showed a run of the mill pizza delivery man, and you remembered that it was Baekhyun’s turn to make dinner tonight. He must have ordered you a pizza so he could hide in his room all night and not have to worry about walking around you in the kitchen and not asking you out on a date.

This was his way of avoiding you for the night.

You had to swallow down the flash of silly disappointment that popped up. You’d assumed correctly that he had already paid for the pizza and you received your cardboard box of loneliness with a polite smile for the weirdly cheerful delivery kid.

You gave a quick glance at the label in the front of the box to check for forbidden toppings just in case he’d forgotten who he was avoiding tonight and put something weird on it like corn and mayo or hot peppers.  

The label had four lines of ingredients listed, the first said ‘xtra cheese’ and each additional one after that said ‘xtra cheese.’ Nothing else, just ‘xtra cheese’ listed four times in succession.

What in the world?

You briefly considered a malfunction of the pizza shop’s label maker, but boy was this thing heavy. Did he sneeze while selecting toppings and accidentally hit the option four times?

You set the monster down on the counter and lifted the lid. It was steaming hot despite the trip in the car and up the elevators to your door and as soon as you opened it you noticed the odd appearance of the inside lid.

There was a message handwritten with black marker inside of the lid.

Your stomach leapt up into your throat as you recognized what this was. The message started with the word Bug.

You had to cover your mouth to get through this.

Bug,

I know this is really, really, really, really cheesy, but will you go out on a date with me this Saturday?

Knock thrice on my door for yes.

-Peanut

P.S. Did I beat Ben?

You had to hang your head to contain it. You wanted to scream. Giggles actually burst out of your mouth before you could stop them. You were highly amused. Actually reallly fucking impressed and goddammit you felt a genuine flutter of butterflies inside of your stomach. How was he this clever? He had always been very silly and good at thinking of the most ridiculous scenarios to get things done, but wow. When you lifted the lid once more to read his message again your mind spun with the logistics of that man in that bedroom sneakily ordering this thing from a real pizza shop that was probably a block from your home.

Did he call them and explain the situation? Did all of the employees gather around, chanting ‘More cheese! Give the man more cheese!’ As they loaded this pizza up with what looked to be a full inch of melted cheese on top? It compromised the edges of the crust and flowed over the cardboard below. It was absolutely ridiculous and nearly inedible too.

Did they giggle at the pet names you called each other as they selected the employee with the best handwriting to relay his message?

You were buzzing again. This time it was pride. He was brilliant at everything he put his mind to and this was clearly no exception. He would do so well in his life.

You left the kitchen and made your way toward his closed bedroom door. As you came close you heard a very soft thud; wooden door hitting wooden door frame. The movement was hardly noticeable but you could see a slow turn of the doorknob too. He probably thought he was sneaky.

You lifted your closed fist and quietly hit three times against his door and after exactly ten seconds you heard the squeak of his doorknob turning and his bedroom door opened up an inch.

You saw a single brown eyeball peeping at you through the opening.

“I’ll text you the details later,” he whispered and the door closed up again before you could respond.

The details came by text message a day later, just as he promised. It was a Thursday afternoon when your phone buzzed and you’d just put the final touches on your data entry work for the day, running it through a spell checker for mistakes as you always did. You’d expected to hear from Ben by now, he said he had something to go straighten out at the bank. He’d taken it well, finding out that your roommate was a man around your age, and he didn’t even ask too many prodding questions about him.

The message was from Baekhyun with the time he would ‘arrive’ to pick you up on Saturday and he gave you sparse details about what he actually had planned; just a quick note at the end that he would be wearing a suit. You figured this was a hint for you to dress up as well.

Was Baekhyun taking you some place fancy? Your curiosity was positively burning and Baekhyun had been acting super weird around you lately.

Whenever you’d come into a room he was already occupying he would make up some excuse why he had to leave it and vanish inside his room to carry on with his highly secretive behavior. Whenever you went into his room he would spin in his chair toward the door with what you were positive was a caught red handed look on his face. It was like you had just caught him watching porn, only you’d caught glimpses of his screen before he quickly hit a keyboard command to clear out the screen and you didn't see a single boob.

After the first time, you’d made it a point to barge into his room often, just to see the surprised look on his face; you did it all for that gasp of air, the frantic fingers of panic on the keyboard, and the trembling hand over his chest as he clutched his pearls. All you caught flashes of were just regular looking websites. Regular text and regular pictures. You saw some blues, you saw some greens. You definitely didn't see the incriminating black and yellow theme of everyone’s favorite adult website. There was nary a penetrative moan to be heard through his speakers. The entire thing brought you great joy. The man was acting so odd and honestly he was getting your hopes up for a fantastically mind blowing date on Saturday. You’d already picked out your dress, heels, and jewelry and had been having a very hard time tolerating the ever so tedious passage of time.

By the time Saturday rolled around you were a wreck of nerves; though you weren’t exactly sure why you were so anxious. It was probably his recent fretting and obsessive preparations that had rubbed off on you. You’d decided to take it easier on him today. He’d obviously been working very hard on this assignment once given the dangling carrot of a good grade to be awarded at the end and if there was one thing you knew about Baekhyun, it was how much he strived to achieve perfection in his academic performance. You’d provided the materials. He’d obviously been studying and go-time was quickly approaching.

You took your time getting ready, soaking in your bathtub to kill some of the dull waiting hours before he was due to pick you up. By the time you were scrubbed, rinsed, shaved, moisturized, plucked, preened, coiffed, and scented to your satisfaction, you had only a half an hour to slip up the straps on the fancy fitted cocktail dress and check your reflection in the full length mirror. It was fitted and had a deep plunging neckline. It accentuated the best parts of your figure and the high slit that landed over your upper thigh showed just enough skin to make you feel sexy.

With your heels you were ready to go; feeling about as pretty as you had in a long while. The silliest little fantasy swam through your head as you spun in front of the mirror and it brought just a little warmth to your cheeks as you allowed it to play out. The idea that he would find you so lovely, so irresistible, that even the iron willed man with his self control like a steel trap would lose himself in the slow blinks of your lashes and drown in the pools of your eyes for just one night.

When you lightly slapped a palm over your cheek, it was to ground yourself. This was fake. Everything that happened tonight would be the result of careful calculations and applications of behaviors modeled in text books that he had studied all week long. It was a date with Baekhyun, but it wouldn't really be an accurate representation of the Baekhyun that you know so well.

You knew he would follow a script. He would perform as a perfect gentleman and you would play along, knowing that when he brought you home you would get a gentle hug and a thanks for sharing your knowledge with him and you would close your bedroom door and he would return to his bedroom door and life as you know it would simply fall back into place as it should remain unchanged for however long it took for you to get back on your feet, perhaps get a place of your own not too far away from him; although this neighborhood was very expensive, you’d settle for one or two subways stops away if it meant you could visit your best friend often and see him living out the life he deserved with someone who was worthy of his love.

Tonight, you will enjoy. But you would not allow your emotions to betray your rational mind. You would enjoy it and then it would be over and Baekhyun would have the skill set to ask out Mia, or whoever else he set his mind on asking out.

Your quiet self assurance was interrupted by two soft knocks on your bedroom door and your hands were trembling as you grabbed your handbag that had your cell phone, a tube of lipstick for touch-ups and a few just in case items you were always taught to carry with you, you know, just in case.

You’d reached the door and swung it open with a beaming smile on your face.

Your date was here. Baekhyun was here. It was Peanut.

A smile that quickly transformed into what you were sure was a gaping opening in your face resembling some aquatic animal and you found yourself gazing upon, frankly, an expertly styled exquisitely handsome real life man, who was wearing Byun Baekhyun’s face and smile.

Despite seeing him standing before you with your own two eyes, your brain was having trouble reconciling the two; your harmless roommate and the man who stood before you wearing a crisp suit jacket that he filled out shockingly well, a fashionable collarless dress shirt that looked like it came from some fancy boutique from downtown, fitted dress slacks that you tried your best not to linger on for too long, and were his shoes Italian? You were pretty sure they were Italian. More than just the clothes, his hair was different. He’d gone and had something done to his hair! Lord, you saw slight waves and a deliberate styling by an expert hand with just a bit of his forehead visible. Oh he looked so lovely with this hair style.

You remembered to close your mouth, but only after the realization dawning on you that he hadn’t said anything to you as you silently admired how beautiful he looked standing in his fancy suit looking like at least a million bucks.

You knew...you knew he was an attractive man. You’d have plenty of glimpses of it again and again, freshly reminded of it during that photo shoot late that night. You’d even known he worked out and had had plenty of chances to ogle the muscles on his arms and chest when he just woke up and would wander out shirtless for a drink of water. You knew that the entire shape of this man was the kind of handsome that you had to make conscious decisions to ignore. You’d forced yourself to look away plenty of times in the past. Still, the Baekhyun who stood here today, the one who had his lips parted as he stared into your eyes now after what you were certain was a head to toe, slow as hell, full body appreciation of all of your preparations to get ready for tonight, this Baekhyun was, for lack of a better word, he was sexy as all hell.

For the first time since you began this project; these lessons in dating, you felt like you might actually be in some sort of trouble.

Baekhyun spoke at last and it was the softest whisper. He said your name. Not Bug, not stupid or dummy or stinky which he called you sometimes even though you knew, you fucking knew you always smelled amazing. You went out of your way to smell great. The sound of your name on his voice softened the shock in your face and you felt a smile pull at your lips.

And so you smiled at him and watched the slow but complete smile that manifested on his pretty face.  

“Hi,” he said with a blink of his bright eyes.

“Hi Baek,” you said. Your heart was racing.

He pivoted on his (Italian!) shoes and extended a bent elbow toward you and you slipped a hand around his arm.

He was doing so well. Each step you took through your shared home felt new. You had a hard time keeping from watching the side of his face and each glance you made was greeted with the light touch of his eyes as he met your eyes with his own.

Moments blurred. He ticked all the boxes, of course. He opened your door, closed it quietly behind you once you were inside. Even helped you with the seatbelt, much to the dismay of your racing heartbeat when he reached over to pull the red strap across you, careful to keep his hands well away from touching any of your actual body as he did it. The true devastation hit you when, all closed up inside the dark car in the silent moments before he started the engine and the intoxicating smell of him reached your nose.

This was a new smell. Baekhyun had gone to the salon, gone shopping for expensive new clothes, and was also wearing what had to be the best smelling cologne you had ever experienced in person.

“You smell really good,” you said without looking at him and your fingers fidgeted with the strap of your handbag to keep your mind working.

“So do you,” he said followed by an inhale that you were certain sounded just a little thready and he was steering the car through lanes and turns of a parking garage to exit the building.

His destination was the kind of fancy dream-like restaurant that you saw only in movies. The sun would be setting soon and you were led to a rooftop terrace with a view over the city and a single table set for two. You followed the pleasantly clean woman and lingering just behind you, Baekhyun silently fell behind one or two steps. A glance behind woke him up from whatever daze he’d fallen into and he closed the distance with two larger steps and a shy smile on his lips.

The waitstaff worked like ninjas. Glasses were refilled as if by magic and course after course of delicious food appeared before you as you watched the sunset over the horizon and when the light faded enough, the soft glow of twinkle lights illuminated the view around you.

The dinner was delicious and the scenery was breathtaking and that alone would have given him full marks for such a lovely evening out, but Byun Baekhyun was proving to be an overachiever as he started to talk to you. He was asking you open-ended questions, pulling conversation easily from you and you found yourself giggling and laughing as he joked in response or told you some funny anecdotes from his childhood that he knew you would love.

By the time dessert arrived you were pretty certain you were drunk despite half of the wine that remained back in your glass. Baekhyun, ever the stickler for vehicle safety had stuck to soft drinks and when he excused himself for the restrooms, you waited patiently under the glowing lights as you daydreamed about the genuine brightness you were certain you saw in his smiles. Had the twinkle in his eyes been just a reflection of this place? Everything about him tonight felt so real. You’d read through the same book he read through and you couldn’t recall him using a single recycled phrase or conversation point during dinner.

Maybe he was just that good of a student.

A noise startled you from behind and you jumped when a single red rose was laid on the table in front of you.

A rose. Baekhyun had brought you back a rose from somewhere; maybe he stole it from the elaborate flower arrangements you passed on the way in.

“Where did you get this?” You mused as you smelled his sweet offering and he shrugged and tugged at the top button of his shirt, undoing it and slipping slim fingers down to undo the second button as well. Your eyes watched the action and weirdly the fragrance from the rose smelled sweeter than the first time you smelled it.

“I just had it,” he said cryptically with another charming and blinding smile.  

“Ready to go? We have one more place to visit.”

The next place he took you was even more magical than the fancy restaurant. The parking lot was nearly empty and when he opened your door he was fussing around with a small bag in the backseat of his car.  He pulled out a pair of black ballet flats and you watched in awe as the man actually kneeled down on the pavement in front of you to carefully slip your heels off of your feet and slip on the comfortable shoes.  

While they did not look anywhere near as sexy as the heels did, you instantly understood the need for a change.

Baekhyun had brought you to an aquarium with what looked like miles and miles of indoor and outdoor paths to walk through with tunnels traveling through the biggest tanks of aquatic sea life you’d ever seen.

You were instantly hypnotized by the deep sea exhibits that seemed to take you for miles and miles below the surface of the ocean where the sea life grew weirder and the lighting grew darker and dimmer the further down you traveled. Here at depths difficult to wrap your brain around the fish and sea creatures have adapted to freezing waters and a bleak existence without any light at all. Many had their own light sources. The bioluminescent exhibits sparkled and twinkled like the stars in the sky out in the country. You saw entire universes all around you.

Baekhyun was as enraptured as you were and spent his time carefully reading each exhibit’s information card out loud as he stared with his mouth open in awe at the different creatures. There were hundreds of different species of fishes, beautiful ones and downright creepy ugly things from the very bottom of the oceans; endangered species too; the sleepy eyes of the sea turtles were your favorites and the impressions Baekhyun made of their swimming faces made you cackle with laughter. Bright lights illuminated meters of corals of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and you honestly felt like you’d entered another planet when you both walked into the jellyfish halls.

They glowed and flowed, bounced and danced, and moved like a dream. You found yourself hypnotized as you stared at the biggest tank full of them for long enough for Baekhyun to make three circles around waiting for you to follow him out of this room so he could go see the sharks.  

You knew the sharks were coming. You’d had a look at the map. And while you didn't necessarily dislike them, their huge sizes and razor sharp teeth always gave you the heebie-jeebies. The jellies were just so comfortable to look at and so relaxing.

It took some coaxing from Baekhyun, and maybe even a little tiny push at the back of your shoulders to get your feet to move and you lingered a bit long in the dark hallway that connects the two exhibits.

You just felt that maybe, the sharks could wait just a little bit longer to meet you.

He’d noticed right away and you opened up your eyes that you’d closed up for a little relaxing session when you felt the tips of his fingers running along the palm of your hand.

He gripped lightly at first, and then shifted your hand within his and he began walking forward in that dark hallway with you trailing behind him.

Baekhyun touched you sometimes. This was something that he did, on occasion. During a scary movie when you’d jumped too many times, or when you both walked through a crowded place and he didn't want you to wander off, he would occasionally hold your hand.  This wasn’t something new to you.

However your heart was beating hard in your chest and the warmth of his hand coupled with the firmness with which he held you felt so damn nice you were having trouble focusing on anything else except for your own shallow breathing and racing heartbeat — and his hand holding yours.

Sharks swam at a gentle languid pace. Clearly at ease and very well fed here in their homes, there didn't seem to be very much murder and feasting happening at all. Hammerheads, tiger sharks, something uglier than any other creature you had ever seen that came from The Midnight Zone of the deepest parts and with each creature that swam overhead, or beside you, or creeped up from somewhere behind you, Baekhyun would turn to face you and take two or three steps backwards as he pulled you through it, your hand held securely inside of his. He would smile at you that debilitating smile, and tilt his head and call you a scary cat or a big baby and you would laugh and roll your eyes and deny that you were even a little bit scared of anything at all.

All was going well. You were very well taken care of and felt very secure inside this tiny tunnel at the bottom fo the ocean and you’d noticed this time when Baekhyun had turned around to look at you with a bright smile that smile wavered just a touch and his eyes seemed to focus on something that was coming up from behind.

Your curiosity got the better of you and you turned to see what he saw.

Baekhyun moved quickly then, moving both of his hands up to reach for your face he pulled your head forward and moved his own face close to yours. You felt the warmth of his forehead lean against yours for a moment and you could not see around or behind you with his hands placed so carefully on the sides of your head like this.

You knew what it was. It had to be something huge and terrifying, maybe even something with fresh blood still on it’s teeth. A Great White. The giant monster from the movie Jaws that you had watched with him once not realizing just how scary it would be and you spent most of the film curled up under his arm wincing at the horrors you saw on the screen.

“Hey Peanut,” you said softly while looking up close into his eyes. He was so close you could feel the warmth of his breath on your face. His smell, that new smell of his smelled even better this close to his skin.

“Hey LoveBug,” he said with a gentle smile and you knew based on the use of this carefully reserved nickname for emergencies that it was exactly as you had feared. A Great White, chomping on the remains of the cutest crying baby penguin. The fluffiest one with its whole life ahead of it.

Baekhyun was safe though. Baekhyun was warm and he was here to protect you. You would be okay, you knew it.

“Is it gone yet?” You asked after what felt like the average time for a fish that size to swim away and you noticed something. It was a look, just a glance. Baekhyun’s eyes floated a bit and the warm breath you felt coming from him was delivered in quicker puffs through his parted lips.

When he licked his lips, you could not help it, your eyes caught the motion as his tongue ran over his bottom lip and left wetness behind and by the time you realized what you had done — where you had looked — you had already done it, your stubborn eyes had already looked and in your mind a vivid replay was happening. You felt too much. This was too much. This was supposed to be fake. Why did he have to smell so fucking good and why was he so aware of every tiny detail about you he knew when something would overwhelm you and ruin your mood, so he used his own body to shield you from it and protect you. You cautiously pulled your eyes back up only to find him blinking too fast and he was dropping his hands from your face as he took a step back and away from the stifling closeness.

You were dizzy. You felt it all over. Your heart was racing and the warmth you felt traveling through your body sent waves through you. You had to rub lightly over your forearms to smooth out the goosebumps and Baekhyun was no longer facing you, but was staring off into the literal depths of the cold black ocean and you took a while to recover enough to walk by him toward the exit of the aquarium and back into the darkened city streets you knew as the real world.

The walk back to the car was quiet and had an odd flavor about it. You both could feel the end coming. It had been a wonderful date. You’d spent hours, just the two of you talking and laughing and exploring literally new worlds you hadn’t before experienced. You felt a sudden but definite melancholy to see the fancy circles that made up the logo of his car.  

“Hey, you want to take a walk?” Baekhyun’s voice halted your steps and you turned back to see him standing with a hand in his pocket, fidgeting in hidden, likely with the key fob to his car, and a new sort of nervous flush on his cheeks that you hadn’t seen since he first showed up at your bedroom door looking like a dashing Prince Charming ready to sweep you off your feet.

“Sure,” you said, meaning every bit of it and secretly extremely thankful that this evening wasn’t over yet.

The walk was peaceful. It was a bit chilly tonight and you didn’t even resist when you felt the warmth of the coat jacket he placed over your shoulders. You thought you’d become used to the smell of him by now, but clearly you were incapable of ever getting used to his smell.

The streets were mostly empty now that the night had grown stale and you walked side by side passing various touristy shops that had long since closed up for the evening. Ahead you could see a small street side cafe that sold warm teas and coffees and Baekhyun was pulling out his wallet before you even had the chance to look at him with hopeful delight all over your face. He ordered two hot coffees and you danced and celebrated when he handed the first one to you.

It warmed you from the inside and you paid no mind to the smudges of lipstick all over the white lid of your cup. The hot drink made you happy and you could see your breath like a dragon in the chilly night air around you. Each puff made Baekhyun smile and when he’d taken a particularly big drink from his cup he pulled his head back and puffed out three perfectly formed rings of warm air into the color air above his head. The rings grew and then faded quickly but you were so excited to see his trick that you made him do it again and again until he was puffing and out of breath  and laughing too much for any more cool rings to form. This man was full of secrets. Absolutely full of them!

The night was winding on. You could feel the lateness in your limbs and you’d long since finished your drinks and dropped your paper cups into a street side trash can. Your feet, you found were protesting. It wasn’t that they ached or hurt or anything like that. You weren't even that tired. You were just having trouble with the idea of this ending and the night being over.

Everything had to end eventually. You didn't even pout at all when he pulled open your door. You just climbed in and sat down, fastening your own seatbelt this time with a sense of finality looming in your mind along with a wagging finger that quietly scolded you for letting your guard down during this date.

The drive back home was quiet. He didn't even turn on the radio and even though he drove with one hand, he held his other hand firm atop his thigh.

The small touches and stolen glances were over. The date was over. He had done very well. You were thoroughly swept off your feet and his grade would be an A+. You would go back to your room and go to sleep and tomorrow morning when you woke up you’d find him back to his usual antics and maybe, maybe you’d even get him to ask Mia out on a date.

You swallowed the dryness in your throat and the familiar landmarks outside your apartment building called you back home. Baekhyun pulled into the parking garage and you did not wait for him to round the hood of the car to reach your door, you simply opened it yourself and pushed through it.

Baekhyun did well. You had given him a task and he’d done it. He deserved all the praise and recognition for a job well done. He’d taken it seriously just as he said he would. This dark mood that had suddenly come over you could not show. You shouldn’t do this to him.

You cared for him too much to ruin this sweet evening.

You loved him too much. This quiet secret usually echoed around inside of your heart and you winced to hear it peaking it’s way up into your running thoughts.

The apartment was dark and you walked through it easily, knowing exactly where you could walk without bumping into anything and he didn’t turn on any lights as he walked closely behind you. He hadn’t said anything to you on the drive home, nor did he speak right now as he walked you back to your bedroom door where he had picked you up.

You turned to face him now. You pushed a smile up to your lips and his face was mostly in the darkness, barely lit with the city lights from the window.  

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Baekhyun. It was perfect. You were perfect. Seriously, you are amazing.”

You leaned before he did and you felt the staggered response from his limbs as he wrapped both of his arms around your shoulders for the hug.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” he whispered against your ear and when you pulled out of the hug, your small smile was not returned. You could see enough of his face to see that he did not smile at you now.

Your hand was on your door and you turned and stepped inside, thankful that you had left your small table lamp on. The room was warm and inviting and you closed the door behind you with a soft click that sounded exactly like clapperboard snapped to signal the end of a movie scene. You could almost hear a director somewhere yelling cut. Everybody clapped for the job well done. All the actors could now go home. It was over.

Your shoes were off. You’d pulled off the earrings and had taken off your necklace and the delicate tennis bracelet’s clasp was so tiny you had to try a few times to get it open so you could take it off.

When you reached up to slip the strap of your dress off your shoulders a tiny sound interrupted you. It was almost like a knocking, but it was so soft you had to listen carefully to hear if it repeated again.

It did not, but you could not shake that feeling that it had happened and out of genuine curiosity you walked across your bedroom and pulled your bedroom door open.

Someone was there; Baekhyun was there, standing in nearly the exact same position as he had been, wearing the same clothes. The only difference was the sight mess to his hair and the definite pink shade you saw on his face even in the dim lighting from the windows.

“Peanut?” You couldn’t imagine what this was. He was finished. The assignment was finished and he had done perfectly, you’d said so already...but, his eyes. You caught that same look that you’d seen on him many times before. It was a look of hard determination that propelled him forward when he dove into some new and difficult project he had to master. If you had to give it a name, you’d call it his passion. The passion he had inside of him to do things right. To be perfect.

“I said I would take it seriously,” he said in a well controlled voice and you shook your head, not understanding what he meant. Did he have some regrets about how the night went? Did he feel that he had somehow failed to live up to the requirements you’d set forth for him as his teacher?

“The date, I told you I would.” He wasn't clarifying anything with his words.

It was then that he moved.

His hands were up and Baekhyun took a step closer to where you stood confused and surprised at the threshold of your bedroom door. He reached for you with both hands and you felt the warmth of his palms on your cheeks at the same time as you felt the exhale from his parted lips against your mouth. It happened in a single moment. His lips connected with yours and you gasped in a surprised breath. Baekhyun kissed you. His lips were on yours and he held your face tightly between both of his hands as he did it. This was it. This was his goodnight kiss at your front door. This was the end of the date.

You could just make out the ultra up close view of him, his fluffed up hair, the smoothness of his forehead, his eyes closed up tight and dark eyelashes spread over his cheeks and it was all a big blur and so you closed your eyes and your heart raged noisily inside of your chest with the sudden need you felt for this to happen.

Your own lips parted and you felt the tilt of his head as his bottom lip pushed out slipping perfectly between your own and you could not stop it. You could not control the tightness with which your hands clung to the cotton of his dress shirt and pulled him toward you. You could not contain the way his tongue brushed lightly against your own and the way you reacted to it. The light moan that escaped from your throat and bounced around inside of his mouth. The light draw you felt on your lip as he pulled lightly and sucked on your lip as he did it. The final pull was him pulling away.

He ended the kiss with a step backward and a drop of his hands from your face.

He had kissed you and you most definitely had kissed him back. The labored breathing you struggled to contain did nothing for the dizziness.  

“Goodnight,” he said with a roughness on his voice; plus the blown out look in his eyes was telling you of many forbidden things that he was running from now. Things that even he knew were a very bad idea.

This had been fake. This was supposed to be a lesson.

You stood at your doorway and watched him disappear into his bedroom and after standing frozen in your doorway you had no choice but to return to the quiet glowing comfort of your own bedroom and close your door too.

Your hands were shaking and you felt the trembling all over you as you looked around at the place you called home. The place you loved more than anything in the world except for maybe that man who was likely facing a very similar struggle behind his own closed bedroom door.

The only difference was just how much you had to lose if you gave in.

You loved him. You knew it deep down inside of your soul. It had been buried for so long deep in the frozen depths of your ocean that you thought it would never surface and consume you, yet now you knew you’d been a fool.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6

Tag list: @j-pping  @blahblahblah-boo  @his-mochi-cheeks  @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13  @baekinmylife  @insta1010  @nana-banana  @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff  @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven @kingkushdealer  @uhobob

[asimpforizuku]

Mystic Messenger and Minecraft

A simple thought of,“What if the Mystic Messenger characters played Minecraft?”, led me to have that amazing “Oh my-” moment and write. I personally like Jumin so it made me laugh imagining what he would be like, so I hope this brightens your day as well! 

Note: I couldn't really think of a scenario for Zen so I just included some of the things I thought he would say. 

Yoosung:

 GAMER BOI

Was still is addicted to Minecraft so he knows literally everything about the game 

Ya'll be out here fighting the Enderdragon an hour or two into the game 

If you play more chill then it's pretty domestic 

His building skills kinda suck so it'll be up to you to build the house

He builds box houses 

He often goes out to fight mobs and collect diamonds and will invite you to come along if you're into that 

He's the type of player to scream and rage when he accidentally falls in lava

“OMG. Y/N, I found DIAMONDS!!” Yoosung yelled, eyes wide as he maneuvered his character to get to the diamond ore.  “That's great Yoosung! Bring it back to make some armor!” You cheered, hyping him up from the other side of the couch. Moving away from your choice of device, you shuffled closer to him, peering at his screen. “Let's go to the End after this. We gotta defeat the Enderdragon and get the glory. I bet Seven hasn't even-”  “Uh-I don't think you should be standing on top of the ore-” You began to say. 

“It's okay, I've played Minecraft before Y/N, I know what I'm-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" 

A blood curdling shriek was let out by none other than Yoosung himself. His screen was filled with red and he tried to get his character out of the bubbling lava. Soon, his screen turned red and displayed the words “YOU DIED". He proceeded to dramatically slump, causing you to watch him with mild concern. “I had my golden apples, the saddles I found, diamonds, diamond weapons...” Yoosung sighed gloomily, listing out all the valuables he was carrying with him. In no time, he bounced back up and started angrily huffing, glaring at his screen that he threw to other couch that was across the room. Finding his petty anger a bit funny, you accidentally let out a small giggle.  “EXCU-”

Zen:

Spends an hour picking out his skin 

It has to be perfect just like him

 He's not really ambitious so he doesn't really care about the bosses and stuff

He would fight them to become your knight in shining armor though

He prefers to adventure around to find flower fields and take pictures 

His house is covered in flowers and he gets mods to add paintings of himself and mirrors 

Never goes near the cats in the game 

Your house with him is STUNNING

Literally a castle

“Omg babe, look at the flower field! It’s beautiful! Like me <3" 

“Is that a c-AAAAAAAAAA" 

“Zen, what are you doing?” “Look at the painting of me Y/N. It's art"

Jaehee: 

Master builder 

Builds the best house you've ever seen

It's not big but it's not small

It's cozy

It’s in a spruce forest so it's beautiful when it snows 

Farms and has a lot of food which she shares with you 

You guys get a dog that has it's own room 

You also live near a village so your little family often visit and trade

I don't know Jaehee very well so I can’t imagine situations with her or what'd she say 

Jumin: 

Does not know how to play

Very interested in the villages and trading 

Goes through all the villagers to see who has the good deals 

“Hm. I quite like this individual's offer. 15 potatoes for an emerald is a fair trade. I enjoyed doing business with you.” 

Tames all the cats he sees 

Cat boss with a whole army of cats I hope you built a big enough house to hold his horde 

He's not very interested in the other aspects of the game so it'll be up to you to handle the building, mining, and fighting 

I feel like he'll start to warm up to playing after awhile

For now, he'd play with you when you asked, but he doesn't particularly enjoy it 

“Excuse me, I think-” You heard Jumin say to his screen as you looked up at him.  “Jumin, what's wrong?” You asked as you heard the serious tone of his voice.  “This person is trying to rip me off Y/N! They are asking for 2 emerald and 5 fish in exchange for 5 cooked fish which is outrageous.” Jumin said, disbelievingly.  “It's alright dear, there are just some villagers like this.”  “No-I will not allow this person to try to swindle me like this! I will set them straight.” Jumin said as he moved his character to move closer. “Jumin-”  A click and the sound of a grunt was heard as the villager flashed red and bounced backwards.  You both stared at each other. Gray eyes widening in shock as you looked at him with surprise. “My hand must have slipped-" Jumin said as he tried to explain, turning to you. Watching his screen, you saw the hunking form of the iron golem turn the corner to set its beady red eyes toward your direction.  “Jumin run!!” “Wha-” 

Seven (AKA Saeyoung, 707, Defender of Justice):

Carbon copy of Denki and Bakugo 

Has ALL the mods 

The world you play in is CRAZY it's not even considered Minecraft at that point

Defeats so many bosses

Ya'll have a castle, but prefer to live in the huge rocket ship that he built in the sky 

The castle becomes a cat castle with how many cats you guys have 

Gets a mod so that he can take you to go to space and see the stars

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 1

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 8k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i don’t care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.  

Part 2 here ; part 3 here; part 4 here; part 5

playlist vibes

better | khalid

electric love | børns

saturday nights | khalid

the less i know the better | tame impala 

summertime sadness | lana del ray

“Hana, what the fuck are you doing?” You said to your roommate. You just had walked into your room and saw there was an enormous mountain of clothing blocking the entrance of the room door. Clutching the box containing your freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, you carefully maneuvered your way to your bed. You stared at your roommate as she stood in front of her mirror. It had been a long day and you just wanted to eat the cookies you made while watching a social justice documentary, your go to form of stress relief. She turned to you, revealing her exasperated face “Okay I studied literally all day today and basically ignored Jungkook and his billion texts because I was trying to focus and now he’s mad at me so I’m going over to his dorm to hang out. And I’m trying to figure out what to wear! Like should I wear a skirt or sweatpants or...?” She put the pink skirt she was holding up to her body down and picked up a comb from her desk. You bit into a cookie and stared at her trying to tame her curly black hair with a brush, “Aren’t you and jungkook just hooking up? Why are you going to comfort him if you aren’t in a relationship?” Hana immediately became defensive, crossing her arms over her chest “We are friends too okay! I can go and comfort him as friends ______.” You rolled your eyes and said sarcastically, “Sure Hana because that’s what friends do. Go over to each other’s rooms at midnight to ‘comfort’ each other” Waving the silver comb in her hand at you, Hana exclaimed, “Shut up! Support me and my stupid choices. I support your choice of being a prude” “Hey! I’m not a prude....” you said trailing off suddenly regretting calling out Hana on her behavior. “Yea ______ you’ve never even kissed a boy.” You gave your prepared answer about your lack of romantic life that you’ve been telling people since junior year of highschool “It’s cause I’m trying to focus on school and not get involved with anyone.” “Keep telling yourself that excuse. It’s perfectly normal to manage other things other than school work”, Hana said as she shoved her huge pile of clothing that was lying on the ground into her closet. You shut your biology book that was in front of you and stated, “Okay fine how about the excuse that all men are trash?” “I honestly believe that one 1000 times more” she held up a black skater skirt to herself and said “I’m just going to go with this” Hana quickly changed, grabbed her purse, and said “bye! I’ll see you...later?” You laughed and called after her “I’ll see you tomorrow. Make smart choices!”

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You woke up early to revise before your biology class at 9:30. After going through the Krebs cycle one last time, you quickly rushed to get ready pulling on a pair of loose jeans and a sweater. You slipped on your sneakers and rushed out the door making it just in time to be ten minutes early for biology class. You were clutching your notes mumbling through the processes “pyruvate becomes acetyl coenzyme A then...” Today is going to be a long day, you realized that there was so much more cellular respiration you still needed to learn. Should I bake brownies tonight or should I finish watching 13th? You were so absorbed in your notes and thoughts that you barely noticed someone calling your name. You looked up confused. You didn’t have too many friends on campus so you weren’t sure who could be calling your name. Then you noticed him. Fuck You felt your heart skip a beat why does this still happen even two years later? “______!” He came up to you smiling and waving. “Hey Taehyung “ you mumbled, annoyed that he was coming over to say hello. He looked so good, as always. He was wearing slacks with a sweater with a brown messenger bag to his side. He recently got his black hair permed and it looked so good. You wanted to rake your hands through his hair and feel the soft curls. You shook your head, no you're over him. You don’t like Kim Taehyung anymore “How’s it going? I haven’t seen you in awhile” He said with his huge boxy smile, adjusting his bag strap. You and Taehyung occasionally run into each other between classes and such but you guys never hung out. After what had happened in highschool, you realized you and Taehyung were in two different social groups and were destined to just be friends. He was a soccer player in a frat who wanted to have fun and you were a pre-med student focused on getting good grades so there really wasn’t much intersection in your two lives. “Um good ya know just heading to biology class.” You chuckled nervously, are you always this awkward or is it just Taehyung making you feel on edge? “Ah yes. Classic ______ always studying” “Yea well school is important. So um...” you were racking your brain trying to say something despite your mind going absolutely blank the second you saw his flawlessly sculpted face, “.....how is soccer going?” His eyes lit up, “It’s good! I’m training a lot so that takes up a lot of time. But everyone on the team is really nice, so it’s good.” “I’m glad.” You glanced at your phone desperate to get out of the terribly awkward conversation “Well I have to go class, but it was nice seeing you” you started to walk off in the direction of your class but Taehyung pulled you back towards him “Wait ______” “What?” You said an annoyed tone. You needed to get to class and Taehyung was just bothering you with small talk. He looked almost nervous. He gave a small smile and said “I was wondering if you wanted to do something this weekend.” You glanced around yourself just to make sure Taehyung was talking to you. “You want to do something with me? This weekend?” You asked, astonished. He glanced at the ground and then back at you. You noticed he was still holding your arm and he quickly dropped it. “Yea I want to hang out with you. Is that okay?” He said shoving his hands into his pockets. “Um yea. I guess. Just text me later” you said in a rushed tone, then trudged off to your class. Wow that was fucking weird. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tae: hey! so are you free this saturday to do something?

Fuck I can’t believe he actually texted me. It had been 2 years since you’ve hung out with him. Why was he texting you now asking to spend time? You contemplated just saying no so you didn’t have to deal with Taehyung but you figured it might be more efficient to just hang out with him once so he could leave you alone.

You: yep that works. what do you have in mind? Tae: do you want to go into town? You: yea that sounds good. Tae: great i'll pick you up at 2 🍓 girl :)

You internally vomited at the nickname. You didn’t want to hang out with Taehyung. You were perfectly fine being friends/borderline acquaintances with Taehyung. You threw your phone on your bed and groaned loudly. At that moment your roommate entered the room and said “Wow hello to you too.” “I hate my life,” you exclaimed dramatically as you shoved your face into your fluffy white pillow. “That’s a mood. But what happened?” she said laughing and sitting on her bed across from you. “Uh so like, have I mentioned I’m kinda friends with Taehyung?” You said peeking out of your pillow. Hana squealed “Shut up! You’re friends with the Kim Taehyung?” “Uh kinda. We grew up together and like we were best friends but then like we drifted apart. We are just okay friends now,” You said as nonchalantly as you could. Hana stretched out onto her bed and turned her head to you “Wow you never told me that. I can’t believe you knew Kim Taehyung” You pulled the pillow under your arms so you could lay on it “Yea so I ran into him today and he asked to hangout this weekend and he just texted me to confirm plans and I feel like throwing up.” Hana raised her eyebrow “What? Why? This is great news. I’m with Jungkook and now you can be with Taehyung! It’s perfect omg” You threw your fluffy pillow at Hana, hoping it would knock some sense into her, “First of all you are hooking up Jungkook. He’s not your boyfriend. Second of all, I’m not ever going to date Kim Taehyung.” She caught the pillow before it could hit her face, “Eww. As if I would ever date Jungkook” she laughed and tossed the pillow back to you, “But that’s honestly a smart move. Taehyung has got a lot of baggage.” You looked up at your roommate confused, “What are you talking about?” “Uh Taehyung is kinda the biggest fuckboi on campus. We’ve only been freshmen for like 4 months and he’s fucked almost like half of campus. Your jaw dropped. You didn’t know Taehyung was a fuckboi. Granted you really didn’t know anything that wasn’t school related but like Taehyung? Your Taehyung? The one with the innocent doe eyes and giggly smile? “No fucking way. You’re lying” “Honey, Jungkook is his best friend. I know.” You stared at your pillow. Well Taehyung was a really handsome guy. What else could you expect? You luckily didn’t feel heart broken Not that your heart could be broken any further.  “Well good for him. I guess. As long as he isn’t being an asshole and manipulating girls and their feelings just so he can fuck them.” “You can ask him this weekend on your dateee” Hana said teasingly. “It’s definitely not a date. I’m sure he just wants something” you said rolling your eyes as you got up and grabbed your baking basket. “Where are you going?” Hana questioned. “I need to make some strawberry cupcakes” you stated as you grabbed some strawberries from your fridge. Strawberry desserts were your comfort food. “Damn this thing with Taehyung has you real pressed” she said laughing. “You have no idea,” you mumbled underneath your breath as you left your room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was 1:27 in the afternoon and you had already stress ate 4 strawberry cupcakes since last night. You didn’t know what “I’ll pick you up at 2” meant. Did it mean he was going to wait outside your dorm building? Did it mean he was coming to your room? Did he even know your room number? You were going to grab another cupcake when you realized you should probably change out of your pajamas. 

You took a look in the mirror and you sighed. You unconsciously adjusted the gold necklace that you wore everyday and scanned your outfit: light blue jeans and a black baggy shirt. Why do I even care what I’m wearing? It’s not like it’s anyone special, it's just Taehyung. But the voice at the back of your head kept nagging the hard to swallow truth that you in fact do care. Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud ding from your phone. 

Tae: I’m outside your dorm! You: ok coming out 

You grabbed your coat and were about to leave your room before a thought popped in your head. You walked outside and found Taehyung standing by the entrance of your dorm building, scrolling on his phone. Taehyung was wearing a simple black shirt tucked into black jeans with a long gray coat. With his beautiful curly hair and black sunglasses, he looked like a movie star. You wanted to sprint back inside your dorm and hide because you truly did not want to be seen in public with him. He looked up from his phone and gave a genuine smile “Hey!” “Hey Taehyung.” You stood awkwardly distanced from him. “Um I was kinda stressed last night and I ended up baking cupcakes. I knew you used to love my strawberry desserts so I brought one for you” you handed a cupcake wrapped in a napkin to him. “Are you being for real? You made me a strawberry cupcake? Oh my gosh, you’re the best” he pulled you into a giant hug. Not really liking physical affection, you pushed against his chest to try to pull away. He let go of you and grinned broadly “This made my day. I’m so happy now” “Are you ever not?” You mumbled so he couldn’t hear. The local town was only about a 10 minute walk so you were hoping this whole outing with Taehyung would only last an hour or so. “So why were you stressed?” Taehyung said unwrapping his cupcake. You couldn’t tell him that he was causing your stress because to be honest, you didn’t even know why his sudden presence in your life was causing you this much anxiety. “Oh just school stuff.” You always gave superficial answers to those types of questions. Your automatic assumption is that people don’t really care about what you’re going through; they’re just asking out of courtesy. He gave you a suspicious look as if he didn’t believe you but he didn’t press further. You and Taehyung quietly chatted about school, classes and soccer until you reached the quaint local town. Taehyung was talking about his frat and how they were having a themed party in anticipation for their huge game. You were half paying attention to what he was saying when you saw a table covered in books in front of one of the shops. You immediately stopped and glanced at all the books on the table. You used to read a lot before school became a priority in your life, then you picked up baking as your stress reliever. But with this cute little bookstore right in front of you, you started to recall all the fond memories you had as a child and you couldn’t resist. “Let’s go in here,” you said, smiling at Taehyung. He looked at you really weirdly for a second, like he was shocked or something. “Or not,” you said, mumbling, starting to walk away from the store. “No no let’s go in. Sorry if I looked kinda surprised. It’s just” he scratched the back of his head and gave a small laugh “Every time we’ve talked you never smile. And you just did. And it was super cute” a small blushed bloomed his cheeks. He quickly added “I definitely want to go in the bookstore.” The sudden compliment by Taehyung made you want to crawl in a hole. Okay, first of all I’m sure I’ve smiled in front of him....at some point.. You nodded and entered the store with him behind you. You began to browse through books and felt Taehyung hovering behind you. “Umm....so where are the....interesting books” Taehyung whispered behind you as he took off his sunglasses. “Interesting books?” You said turning to look at him “Ya know like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, that sorta thing.” “Taehyung...you’re 19.” “Yea I know but...” “Tell me you’ve read a book since we were in middle school.” “You know, life is busy. Sometimes, we ju-“ “Okay Taehyung.” You said rolling your eyes. You continued to browse until you picked out a few books that caught your eye. Taehyung was trailing behind you the entire time like a lost puppy. It was kinda annoying but also super endearing. You purchased your books and Taehyung said “I remember you were always reading when we were kids. And you used to read to me when we go have picnics in the park! Remember?” You smiled, thinking back to those days. Most of your memories of reading did include Taehyung. Him forcing you to sit and read your favorite passage of the book you were currently reading. “Yea, I remember.” You said “I also remember you being a dumbass then just like how you are now.” Taehyung laughed “Yea I was a dumbass. But at least I started reading actual books because of you.” You two continued to walk while you explained your book purchases to him. “Wow” Taehyung said “those books sound super....enlightening” he smiled at his vocab choice. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yea I’m excited to read them. I’ve actually been meaning to read The New Jim Crow for a while now so I’m probably going to start once I get back to my dorm.” You noticed Taehyung was staring at a shop across the street. It looked almost like an antique store. “Do you wanna go in there?” You said asking carefully He nodded hesitantly. You entered the store with Taehyung and his eyes lit up. “Wow look at this camera!” He said. There was a large vintage camera placed on the front display. It seemed like one of those Polaroid types. He picked it up carefully and analyzed it. You had almost forgotten. Taehyung used to love photography and art. When you were children, Taehyung had many disposable cameras and he was constantly taking pictures of the scenery, of his friends, and you. Even though you hated getting your photo taken, Taehyung would always secretly take pictures of you and show them to you once they were developed. You always ended up loving his photos of you the most. You hadn’t realized that Taehyung had started wandering around the store. You found him standing in front of a large painting. “It’s a modern rendition of Van Gogh's Starry Night” he told you. The painting had a cityscape with the iconic starry night swirls in the background. As you went with Taehyung around the store, he gave factoids about almost all the paintings there. I didn’t realize he was still interested in art . Taehyung ended up purchasing the vintage camera in front display along with the film for it. When you exited the store, Taehyung exhaled deeply. “I miss photography,” he said solemnly. “I stopped during high school, when I started dating Yeji.” You internally winced at the sound of her name. “I want to start again,” Taehyung said. “That’ll be good. You’ll have to show me your photos once you get developed,” you said with a small smile. It got quiet for a moment and you felt a question pressing your mind that you needed to ask Taehyung. “Why did you ask me to hang out?” You said bluntly. He smiled, “Why? I can’t ask a friend to hang out?” “No, but we haven’t hung out in a long time,” You said quietly. “It feels a bit random.” Taehyung stopped walking, “You’re right. It is a bit random and I haven’t really talked to you in a long time.” He paused, pondering for a moment, then continued, “I’m really homesick. College is hard. Being away from home is really hard, harder than I ever expected. And you remind me of home.” He scoffed at his own words “Actually, you are my home. Whenever I see you walking on campus, I feel...a sense of comfort, ya know? You’re someone who knows me, like actually knows me, Taehyung, not Kim Taehyung, the soccer player, or whatever people are labeling me.” You were shocked at his words. You truly had no idea that Taehyung was homesick. He seemed so normal and perfectly happy, like all the time. It was kinda nauseating. But he had put up a front the whole time. “Oh. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling that way” wow that sounds so fake. You were so bad at consoling people that you weren’t close to. “But If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m always here Tae.” He gave you a smile “You used to call me Tae all the time. You only called me Taehyung when you were mad at me.” That was true. You didn’t realize he had picked up on it. “Well I must have called you Taehyung a lot” you said teasingly. “Only when I would pair us up for a school project” he said with a wink. You and Taehyung started heading back home and Taehyung started asking more about yourself. You gave short, one word answers, not really going in depth about anything. You hated talking about yourself and your feelings with people who you knew didn’t actually care. Taehyung seemed to get frustrated and he said “okay, why aren’t you telling me anything? I talked to you about myself. I know your life isn’t just school. I know you have feelings that aren’t ‘I’m stressed about grades’. Why are you shutting me out?” You sighed and said “Yea well I shut everyone out. Don’t take it personally. It’s just easier.” You realized that was probably really cold, but you were getting exhausted with his questions. Taehyung doesn’t really care about me. Or my feelings. He’s just a fuckboi who just wants any girl’s attention. You were walking at a faster pace so you were ahead of him and didn’t have to see his disheartened expression. He pulled your arm so you had to face him “Hey. I don’t know why you’re acting like this but I guess I have to make this abundantly clear: I’m your friend so I care about your well being. I’m sorry for not trying in our friendship but that’s in the past. I’m trying now and isn't that worth something?” You stared at him. His eyes were big and pleading. God he looks so cute. You immediately felt bad for being rude to him, “Yea, I do appreciate it. But like this is just a one time thing right? You were feeling sad and we hung out. That’s it.” “No ______, I miss our friendship,” he said in a genuine tone. You recoiled at the word friendship. Because that’s all you’ll ever be to Taehyung, a friend. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I want us to be in each other’s lives. Like before,” he said. You took a deep breath. It was simple. You could be friends with him. You just need to keep a clear mind and remember that you and Taehyung are not destined for anything more. “Yea. Me too,” you said, giving him a small smile. “Great! I’m so excited! This means you can come this weekend then right?” He said with his huge boxy smile. “What’s this weekend?” “______ were you not paying attention? I told you, this weekend BTS is having a party remember? At our frat house?” There was no way in hell you would ever step foot into an STI infested death trap Taehyung called a frat house. In fact the notion of you going to a frat party was so insane that you started to cackle. You doubled over in a fit of laughter. Taehyung just stared at you in confusion. “Uh what’s so funny?” he said, chuckling nervously. “If you think I would ever go to a frat party, then you’re crazy,” you said, still laughing. “What? Why wouldn’t you come?” “Taehyung, do I look like a person to go to your soccer frat? Plus I won’t know anyone there and it’ll be just so awkward.” “Well...no...but like why does that matter? I’m inviting you. I want you to be there! I promise I’ll be with you the whole time. Please!” He said. God he’s making those stupid doe eyes again. Taehyung was such a weakness for you. You would do anything to see his idiotic smile. “Ugh fine. But I’m literally going to say hi to you and then dipping,” you said crossing your arms over your chest. “That’s fine! As long as you come!” He said excitedly. His phone buzzed and he glanced at it, “Fuck I got soccer practice in like 20 minutes. I gotta go. But I’ll see you around!” Taehyung started to sprint off and you were just about to turn around before he called to you, ”By the way, the theme is catholic school so I expect to see you dress up.” What the shit is a catholic school theme?

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You had begun spending more time with Taehyung without even meaning to and things were almost how they used to be. Except for the fact that you needed to keep reminding yourself that Taehyung was a fuckboi. But you found it becoming harder to stop dreaming about “what if”. “Where did you get cake from?” You whined as Taehyung came over holding a paper plate with a large slice of chocolate cake with strawberries on top. He was wearing his practice uniform still. You were sitting on the picnic table tops near the soccer field, revising your psychology notes. You didn’t have time to stress bake this week and you felt your mouth watering at the sight of chocolate cake. He took a large bite and said “Scoot over. I wanna sit next to you” “Not until you tell me where you got that cake from,” you said scooting over because you really didn’t want him hovering over you. He smiled as he sat on the bench next to you and winked “A secret.” “You’re so fucking annoying.” You punched his arm. His nose scrunched up in pain and he rubbed the spot where you punched him “Ow! Some girl gave it to me in exchange for taking a picture of my abs.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Wow you really sold your body for cake.” Taehyung took another large bite of cake, “It was worth it and I would definitely do it again” “Of course you would. You and your singular brain cell can’t really make high functioning decisions.” He set the cake on the table and ran his fingers through his hair, “Hurtful.” Then he looked you dead in the eyes and said with a smirk “But maybe you’re just jealous.” You knew what he was trying to imply (and maybe you were a bit jealous because apparently Taehyung just goes around showing his abs) but you would never give him that satisfaction, “I’m jealous that you have a piece of cake and I don’t.” He raised his eyebrow and leaned his face close to yours, “Yea right. I think you’re just jealous that she got to see my abs.” “Okay Taehyung.” You said rolling your eyes. You began to pack up your stuff, closing your textbook and putting away your pencils. Once Taehyung started getting flirty and cocky you knew it was time to leave. He grabbed your arm as you tried to shove your notebooks into your bag “I was jokinggg. ________ don’t leave me alone,” Taehyung said with a pout. God how does he look cute even when he’s being a pain in the ass. You pulled your arm from his grasp and said “Give me those strawberries and I’ll stay.” He plucked off a strawberry from the cake with his fingers and said “Say ah.” You were not going to let Taehyung feed you a strawberry that was too fucking weird. You tried to grab his wrist and take the strawberry from his hand with your own. “Just give it to me, I'm capable of eating by myself,” you said aggressively. He pushed your hands away and shoved his fingers close to your mouth, “Shut up and open your mouth” This was so humiliating but Taehyung loved to push your buttons and you knew you wouldn’t win this one. You opened your mouth and he put the strawberry in. Your eyes connected with his for a second and you quickly looked away, “This is good. Definitely worth selling your dignity.” He smirked “I know right!” He looked at your mouth and said, “You got some chocolate on your face. Here lemme get it.” Before you could process what he was saying, he swiped his thumb on the corner of your mouth. The feeling of his hand on your face warmed your cheeks immediately. Well fuck. “Oh shit look at the time I have to go,” you said, motioning to your wrist that clearly did not have a watch. You quickly walked away so he couldn’t see the blush blooming over your entire face. Literally he didn’t even do anything. Why the fuck do you have to get worked up about the smallest things? You were just about to make your escape from Taehyung before he shouted out across the entire quad, “Hey __________! I better see you there on Saturday!” Oh my god why did he do that? Everyone is staring at me now. You gave him a thumbs up and walked into the nearest building. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Hana I don’t actually have to go. Tae probably invites so many girls to these frat parties,” you groaned as you spun around on your swivel chair. “Oh so it’s Tae now? No more Taehyung?” Hana said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, I used to call him that before, it’s just an old habit” Hana put her hands on your shoulders to get you to stop spinning and said in a reassuring tone, “Honey, I’m sure Taehyung does invite other girls. But those other girls just want to get into his pants. You’re just a ‘friend’ as you claim.” “I am just a friend! I just don’t know why I have to go if he’s going to be busy with other people,” You said, leaning your head back on the chair. Hana said pleaded, “Just go this one time and then if you absolutely hate it you don’t ever have to go again.” Tired of arguing, you said, “Ugh fine.” Hana clapped her hands together, “Oh my gosh finally! I didn’t think that would actually work. Okay so now what are you going to wear?” She began to rifle through her closet. You stared at her as she began to throw clothes onto the ground, “He said the theme was catholic school. Whatever the fuck that means.” Hana said “It means short skirts and button downs,”, gesturing to her own outfit. Hana was wearing a blue and red plaid schoolgirl skirt with a knotted white button down, revealing her midriff. The thought of wearing anything revealing made you feel nauseous, “Yea I think I would rather set myself on fire than do that.” You stared at Hana. She was so pretty and her kind personality only further highlighted that. You were jealous of the girls who would wear makeup not because they felt pressure by society but because they were confident enough in themselves to do so. You were jealous of the girls who felt comfortable in their own skin and didn’t want to hide from the world. Your insecurities controlled your life. It was the reason why you wore clothes 3 times your size. It was the reason why you didn’t bother to put on makeup because you knew you would just notice all your flaws more. You could not help but think that every person that looks at you only saw the things you hated about yourself. It was the reason why you fully and truly believed no one could ever love you back. Because we choose to accept the love we think we deserve (taken from Perks of Being a Wallflower author's note). While you were roaming your thoughts, you realized Hana was taking out outfits for you. “You could wear this,” she said holding up a polo dress, “or this” holding up a short navy skirt “Hana, those are cute but it’s a catholic themed party right? So I think I’ll just stick to the original concept,” you said with a smile, standing up from your chair. You went to your closet and started to rummage through. Hana immediately became worried, “______ no no no no. I know what you’re thinking and this is not a time for your rebellious acts. You can still be a feminist while showing off your body” “I never said you couldn’t do that but I truly do not give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me so,” you said as you rummaged through your own closet and pulled out a long navy skirt you owned “I’ll just wear this” pulled out a white sweater “and this.” Hana smacked her palm against her forehead and groaned, “Ugh at least it’s cute.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hana, do we really have to go?” You turned to her as you approached the frat house. Loud music was blasting and you could hear the chatter of people from down the street. You could feel the anxiety building up in your chest. You really didn’t want to be hanging out with Taehyung if it meant dealing with girls who were just trying to climb on his dick. “Yes! This is good for you. You need to socialize and not worry about school for a little bit.” She said pushing you up the street. You were amazed at her determination, dragging you up to a party on an uphill street while wearing black stilettos. “It’s not fair how I’ve been trying to get you to go to a party all year and you never went but once Kim Taehyung swings his dick in front of you, suddenly you show up.” she grumbled. “Literally, shut up. I’m only going so his dumbass can leave me alone. I really could care less about his feelings or his dick,” you said staring at your dirty white sneakers. “Rightttt” Hana said in an unconvincing tone. She pulled you up to the frat house door and pushed you inside. You walked into the house with Hana right behind you. You looked around and you felt immediately out of place. Firstly, you were definitely the only one who went with the original intent of the concept “catholic school”. Secondly, there were way too many people grinding on each other. You immediately turned to Hana and said excitedly “let’s leave!” She turned you back in the direction of the party and held onto your shoulders, “No no no I dragged you all the way here in my fucking stilletos so you are not leaving without saying hi to Taehyung.” Crossing your arms, “Fine, but we have to find that idiot first” You scoped around the party and saw him. Of course he’s surrounded by a crowd of obnoxiously pretty girls. You accidentally locked eyes with him and he waved at you. You didn’t expect much else so you were about to turn around to Hana and tell her you were leaving but she looked at you and said “Oh hey. There’s Taehyung, he’s coming over here.” You quickly said, “I’m sure he’s coming over to talk to someone else here so let’s just go.” But before you could turn to the door you heard his overly friendly voice shout “Hey ______!” Shit “Hey Taehyung,” you said, turning to him. Fuck, he looked good. He was wearing white collared shirt with black slacks. He had on a red and blue tie that had become loose which just only amplified the hotness of his outfit. He put his arm around your shoulder and said “You look cute. Love the outfit.” His close presence made you uneasy. You could smell his cologne; you didn’t really know what the scent was exactly but it definitely smelled really good and distinctly like Taehyung. You already felt super out of place and you weren’t in the mood for Taehyung's teasing so you said in an aggressive tone, “You don’t need to be mean. I get it. I’m dressed like an actual nun” “No ______ I’m being serious. I think you really do look cute” “Oh,” you felt a blush creeping onto your cheeks ”Thanks I guess.” Wanting to get the attention away from yourself, you quickly gestured to your friend, “This is my roommate Hana.” Taehyung's eyes widen in realization, “Ah I’ve seen her around the frat house before with Jungkookie.” Hana chuckled nervously and brushed her hair behind her ear, “Ah yea I’ve been here a bit.” She didn’t really like talking too much about her relationship with Jungkook so changing the topic, Hana said, “I had no idea you and _______ knew each other.” You interjected before Taehyung could say something stupid, “Yea, we used to be best friends.” Taehyung looked at you and in his fake hurt tone, he said “Used to be? We still are best friends.” You realized he was definitely tipsy because he was acting quite childish now, more so than his normal amount. One of his friends, Jimin you think, came over and whispered something to Taehyung. You took this opportunity to duck away from his embrace. You turned to Hana but she was looking at something with her nose scrunched up, obviously disgusted by something. You follow her eyeline and see that she’s staring at Jungkook who is dancing with some girl. “Ugh fuck Jungkook,” you say. You suspected that your friend has caught feelings for Jungkook but you know that with her stubborn personality she would never admit it. “What?” She realized you saw her staring at Jungkook. “oh that? Whatever. Jungkook can do whatever he wants. It's not like we are exclusive.” Hana said, whipping her head away from Jungkook and the girl. Then she smiled at Jimin with an evil glint in her eye and you knew that she got some idea in her head. Hana said in her sweetest voice possible “Hey Jimin.” Jimin immediately broke from his conversation with Taehyung, flashing his beautiful smile at her, “Hey Hana! I haven’t seen you in a bit.” “Oh you know classes have been a bit overwhelming lately. I’d really like to take my mind off all the stress,” she said twirling her hair around her finger. “Oh I see, well I think dancing with me would definitely take your mind off of school” Jimin said cockily, extending his hand out to Hana. “I would love that,” she said, grabbing his hand. Jimin pulled Hana away from you and toward the crowd of people dancing. How the fuck did Hana do that so easily? She literally got Jimin's attention just by saying hello. You were left standing with Taehyung alone. “I know you didn’t want to be here but I’m so glad you came,” he said but you could barely hear his voice over the blasting music. “Sorry I can't really hear what you’re saying. The music is too loud.” You were trying to motion out the words for Taehyung and he nodded understanding the message. He extended his hand out to you and you glanced at it uneasily. He gave you a serious stare and grabbed your hand, leading you through the crowd. The large sea of people surrounding you made you feel really uneasy, so unconsciously you gripped his hand harder. He smirked at you but you stared at the ground not trying to give him the satisfaction. You realized he was leading you up the stairs. He kept on holding your hand and led you to the third door on the left. He quietly pushed open the door and you entered the room behind him. Um why did he bring me into his room? What does he want from me? You started to feel nauseous. Does Taehyung think you’re a girl who just wants to fuck? Your feelings were so confused and you definitely didn’t want to do anything with Taehyung in his room that he probably brought girls over to every weekend. He noticed your troubled expression and said, “Hey. I brought you here because I wanted to talk somewhere quiet. No other reason.” he said in a calm voice. The bubble of anxiety in your chest dispersed. But being his stupid self he winked at you and said, “I mean unless you want to.” “Shut the fuck up. You’re such a headass,” you said, shaking your head. You looked around his room and his room was nicely decorated, a lot more modern and minimalist than you thought a college student was capable of designing. You noticed a photo frame hung up and immediately smiled. “That’s my favorite birthday gift. I had to bring it,” Taehyung said standing behind you. It was a framed photograph taken by Taehyung's favorite photographer, Ante Badzim. You gave it to him on his 16th birthday, before everything changed. “Downstairs, I was saying I was glad you came tonight,” he said as he sat down on the edge of bed. “Yea I mean I said I would come. For you, only” you said sitting next to him. “That’s why you’re my best friend.” He said giving you a hug. Drunk Tae is way more affectionate than regular Tae. You laughed pushing him away, “For sure, Taehyung. It’s not because you annoyed me into coming.” Taehyung laid down on the bed with his legs dangling on the edge. With the moonlight streaming onto his face, you felt like you could see him clearly for the first time. His curly hair, his double eyelid on his right eye, the little mole on his nose. He looked tired. You laid on his bed next to him taking in the first moment of peacefulness of the night. The room was a comfortable quiet. He broke the silence with a whisper “Why did we stop being friends?” You knew exactly what he was talking about but in a poor attempt to escape the question you scoffed uncomfortably, “What are you talking about? We’ve always been friends” He turned his head to you but you kept your head straight ahead focused the little cracks on the ceiling above you. He said with a bit more confidence “No, I mean we used to be best friends but then we stopped. We were just friends. We didn’t talk as much and we barely hung out.” You were quiet. A million thoughts running through your head. What were you supposed to do? Tell him the truth? Oh yea so like I kinda was in love with you when we were juniors in highschool and I thought you maybe felt the same but when I finally picked up the courage to tell you the very same evening you called me telling me that you asked out another girl and that you totally liked her. Then you ended up dating that girl for the entirety of junior and senior year and because seeing you two together every day for two years broke me and pained my heart that I just had to basically cut you out of my life. 

Yeah, right. Like you could ever face up to the reality of your feelings and tell them to another live human being. 

You whispered into silence with a choked out, “I don’t know.” You turned your head facing him, “I’m sorry that happened but sometimes people fall apart.” He looked at you with his big brown doe eyes, “I just want to know if it was something I did so I can never do it again. This past week I realized how much I needed you in my life and if I did something for us to lose two years of friendship, I want to never do it again.” Your heart trembled at his earnest words. You knew he meant it. He truly didn’t know what happened. And that’s exactly why you can’t fall for him again. He doesn’t even know what he does to you, what he does to your feelings. Taehyungs words didn’t help. You could feel your will slipping but you pushed the thought aside. You stared back into the darkness of his eyes, “You didn’t do anything Taehyung. Plus like you said, what happened is in the past and what matters is now.” “You’re right. I just missed you so much” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. “Your hair smells so good,” he whispered. What the fuck. Taehyung must be so drunk. This was getting way too intimate for your comfort. “Let’s go downstairs Taehyung.” You pushed his arms from your shoulders and sat up. He got up and looked at you, “You better not leave as soon as we go down.” “No promises,” you said chuckled, as you walked out his door. You noticed some people were staring at you but you shrugged it off. It must because of your completely out of place outfit. Taehyung was behind you still so you turned to him and said, “I’m going to go to the kitchen and get some water.” “I’ll be on the couch,” Taehyung said as he walked away. You nodded at him, went to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. You were attempting to find a bottle of water in the fridge because you stupidly forgot your own at your dorm. When you closed the fridge door, there was a girl waiting behind it. You assumed she was trying to get to the fridge so you tried to duck out of her way but she called your name, “______ right?” “Um yea.” You were thoroughly confused as to how this girl knew your name. You didn’t get a good look at her until she said your name. She was very pretty with light brown hair cascading down her shoulder. She gave a cold smile and said “My name is Jennie, but you probably knew that” Jennie. That sounded familiar but you couldn’t remember where you heard her name before. “Yea I just wanted to know um what's your deal with Taehyung? I saw you go up into his room with him.“ Shit, that probably looked really bad. You felt your cheeks redden at the innuendo. “Yea but like nothing happened. Tae and I are just friends.” “Yea I know that. As if he would ever hook up with anyone like you.” Her tone was icy and insulting. Then suddenly you remembered where you heard her name. Before you came to the party tonight Hana was telling you all of the tea about the BTS frat. Hana told you that even though none of the BTS guys, except for Namjoon, had significant others, they still had people they regularly hooked up with. For Jungkook, it was Hana (but you were pretty sure they had gone exclusive without even meaning to). For Taehyung, it was Jennie. You knew that her comment was surface level, but it still stung a little. “Yea I know that. But that’s why we are just friends,” you said shrugging your shoulders. “I’m just saying, even as ‘friends’ don’t get your hopes up. Taehyung breaks a lot of girls' hearts without even meaning to.” Her insulting tone changed to one of almost concern. As if she was looking out for you. “Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. But I know Taehyung and I don’t think I can fall for him.” you said, not believing your own words. She smiled and this time it felt real. “Ok good. I’ll see you around,” she said and then stalked away. The anxiety in your heart didn’t go away but when you took a deep breath the air seemed lighter. You headed back to the couch where Taehyung was waiting for you. Suddenly as you came to a realization of what was in front of you, you felt your heart almost drop before you caught yourself and scoffed. Boys are so fucking oblivious. Of course, you left Taehyung for 5 minutes alone and he already had a girl on his lap, practically eating his face. She pulled his face closer to his and you watched as he cupped her cheek. Even though you mostly felt like you didnt care, your heart felt heavy in your chest as she curled her hands through his permed hair, something you've daydreamed about. You only came to this party for Taehyung and now he seemed preoccupied. Alright it’s time to leave. You checked your phone. 12:37. If I leave now, I could binge a couple episodes of Parks and Rec. Just as you were about to turn around and leave, somehow Taehyung noticed you from the corner of his eye. He pulled his face away from the girl on his lap and called to you, “Hey ______. Are you leaving already?” Why the fuck does he care? He has a girl grinding on his dick right now. Why can’t he just leave me alone? “Uh yea I came here to hang out with you but you seem...a bit busy... so I’ll head out now,” you said with a light chuckle. The girl on his lap glared at you, mad that you took his attention away from her. She started kissing his neck aggressively. “Wait if you still want to hang out, we can!” Taehyung exclaimed, trying to shift away from the girl on him. Why the fuck does he want to hang out with me? This girl is obviously trying to get in his pants. You felt self conscious with the girl staring daggers at you while Taehyung was trying to talk to you. “No no I’m tired anyways I’ll see you...later I guess” you said waving him off. “______ wait!” He called But you already left. Seeing Taehyung make out with some random, really pretty girl, kind of ruined your mood and also the girl on his lap who looked like she wanted to tear your hair out didn’t help your interest in staying longer. When you got back to the dorm, you glanced at your phone. Tae: hey did you make it back to ur room  okay? You: yep Tae: sorry if I made things awkward You: it wasn’t awkward. Idc what u do tae. Tae: oh ok. You stared at your ceiling and chuckled to yourself. You almost for a second thought Taehyung was different. But he wasn’t. He was just like every other headass boy on this planet. At least you caught yourself before he cracked through your guard. You couldn’t fall for him. Not again. Your phone buzzed and you checked the text you got. Tae: wanna get waffles tomorrow morning? You scoffed loudly. He fucks one girl and then wants to get breakfast with another. Boys are so clueless. You were thinking of what excuse to text him, but then he sent another text. Tae: ik ur thinking of some excuse to say no so if you say yes ill pay. Damn he knew you. You: fine Tae: bet. See you tomorrow 🍓 girl You inhaled a deep breath and whispered to yourself you don’t like Kim Taehyung. You don’t like him. You can’t like him again. But somehow the words you said were disconnected from the confused feelings in your heart. The familiar knot in your heart should have been the red flag to make you realize that you were fucked.

author’s note: theres a line in here that is not mine “we accept the love we think we deserve” it is taken from perks of being a wallflower. also, the summary was adapted from billie eilish’s bitches broken hearts. btw the books and movies i reference in here are some of my favs! lmk if ur enjoying the fic so far! 

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade

[gladerimaginex]

Greenie (Part 3)

Request: OMG! I had spent the last 5 hours to read your writing and honestly I think you are one of the best! And I was wondering if you could write a part 3 of « Greenie »? (maybe with a very sassy Minho and an annoyed Thomas *who will anyway be in for Minho’s idea*?) Feel free to do so or not! If you do: a massive THANKS!^^

TWs: Nothing really; more of a general warning though- in the past I never wrote anything spicy, but I think I may start doing some of that because why not

Author’s note: picking back up after literal years because my old coping mechanisms are the only thing left for me now :)))  

Y/n’s first day with the runners had been a whirlwind of rules, tips, sprinting, and exhaustion. Despite that, by the time a few weeks had passed, she had fallen in love with her new job. It was the only thing that actually made her feel like she was accomplishing something in the glade, actually getting them closer to freedom. Sure, the diversions of the glade with the other boys kept her busy, but she only felt useful when she was running. 

Ever since her first day in the glade, Y/n had stuck close to Minho, Thomas, and Newt. The three boys were all intensely committed to protecting and freeing gladers, but otherwise seemed to bring out the best in each other. Minho and Thomas constantly joked and tried to make the quieter, gentler Newt laugh. Y/n felt like she fit right in. She too constantly longed to see Newt’s face light up with a smile. 

“How was it in the maze today?” Newt’s voice called from the homestead and Y/n pulled the hair tie from her sweaty locks. 

Y/n turned and shrugged. “Same answer as every single other day. Very grey. A few vines.”

Newt rolled his soft brown eyes as he limped up to her. “Yeah, yeah, no need to be a smartass.” 

“You know, sometimes I just can’t help it,” she chuckled, gently elbowing Newt in the ribs. “Besides, I can’t help it that you ask me the exact same question every day within minutes of my arrival back in the glade. I only have so much creativity!” 

Newt rolled his eyes again, but this time with a slight scowl. “Yeah, whatever. So sorry for worrying about you doing the most dangerous job in the glade,” he muttered before heading back towards the homestead. 

“Newt!” Y/n called out to him in confusion, but he just kept walking.

Minho slid into the bench seat beside Y/n and across from Thomas with his dinner plate full. “Hey hey Y/n. What’s with Newt today?” he said, eyeing where the blonde boy sat by himself at a table across the room. He always sat with them and only ate alone when second-in-command duties called him away during mealtimes. 

Y/n shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, he was totally fine earlier until his mood just… flipped.” 

“Well did he say anything after your run? I saw you two chatting,” Thomas pointed out around a mouthful of food. 

Y/n wrinkled her nose at his table manners but shrugged again. “Nah, we were just messin’ around as usual and then he just stomped off. I mean I know he’s a bit more sensitive than the two of you, but I didn’t even say anything bad! I dunno, maybe we’ve just been a bit too hard on him lately?” 

“Eh, just give him some time to cool down then, Y/n. I’m sure he’s fine, just wants a bit of alone time,” he suggested with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Besides,” he added, grinning cheekily, “I think we could all use some alone time with your annoying ass around sometimes.” 

“Hey!” Y/n shouted with a laugh, pretending to throw a punch at Minho. 

He laughed with glee and dramatically dodged her fake punch, jumping from his seat, bending low at the waist, and barreling towards her midsection. She squealed as he threw her over his shoulder and started running towards the door, shouting “You know the rules, Greenie! Off to the slammer you go!” 

Thinking quickly, even with all the blood rushing to her head, Y/n reached out as best she could and started tickling Minho. 

“Shuck it, Y/n, you’re gonna make me drop you!” he gasped through all the laughter and wiggling, desperately trying to escape Y/n’s fingers. 

“That’s the idea-AHHH!” she shouted as Minho finally lost his grip and she plummeted to the floor. He collapsed beside her, the both of them breathless with laughter, while Thomas stood over them, looking down with a grin. 

“If you guys wanted to start a regular fight night, why didn’t you just say so? I’m sure we could get Gally on board,” Thomas laughed, sticking his hand out to help y/n to her feet. 

“Better watch out! You’re next!” she shouted, hopping to her feet without Thomas’s assistance and putting her fists in front of her face as though beginning a boxing match. Minho accepted Thomas’s hand and slapped him on the shoulder. 

“No offense, man, but my money’s on Y/n.” 

She opened her mouth to gloat, but before a word could pass her lips, she heard a sharp “huff!” and felt someone swoop by her, booking it towards the door. She spun around just in time to see Newt’s back stalk away from dinner alone. 

Thomas gave a low whistle. “Okay, something really pissed him off.” 

Y/n dropped her hands to her sides and rolled her eyes. “Honestly what’s his problem?” she scoffed, feeling annoyance rise in herself. Being frustrated is one thing, but taking it out on your friends is quite another. 

“Should someone go talk to him?” Minho asked slowly. By the time Y/n had turned back around to face Minho and Thomas, they were both looking at her expectantly. 

“Me?! Why do I always have to talk to people when they’re pissed?”

Minho shrugged. “You’re gentler than us. And cuter.”

You let out a sharp laugh. “Aww, I think you guys are cute,” you said, pinching each of their cheeks while they attempted to bat you away. 

Y/n eventually found Newt wandering the gardens alone in the dark. His head was drooping towards his chest so that his blonde hair fell into his face. Y/n had thought he was pissed, but now he looked… sad. Sad and lonely. 

She knew the feeling well. 

“You gonna walk around alone all night?” she called, watching Newt jump at her words, but he didn’t spin around. 

“If you’ll let me,” he grumbled, only just loud enough for Y/n to hear. 

She stepped right up beside him, ignoring the way he ever so slightly leaned away from her. “Well looks like you’re out of luck then.” She firmly planted her feet in the ground and stuck her hands on her hips. “Cause you’re stuck with me. So you can tell me what’s goin’ through your head or you can keep moping.” 

Newt scoffed. “You’re kind of the last person I need to comfort me right now.” 

Taken aback, Y/n recoiled. “Okay, wow. You don’t have to be such a jerk about it, Newt.”

“Me?!” he nearly shouted, finally turning to face her, his eyes wide. “Me being a jerk?! You practically make fun of me for being concerned about your safety and-

“That’s the same teasing we’ve both ALWAYS done-”

 “-then you and Minho and Thomas rub it in my face-”

“Rub WHAT in your face exactly?” Y/n said, exasperation causing her to raise her voice. 

Newt cast his eyes down, finally pausing. “You with Minho and Thomas. You can’t keep your hands off them and they certainly can’t keep their hands off you,” he muttered, absently kicking at the ground. 

Y/n let out a heavy sigh. So that was what all this was about. “Newt, are you serious? That’s the way we’ve always been- we mess around. It’s all just jokes. And what do you care anyway? You’ve never… you’ve never made a move or anything,” she sputters out, finally getting embarrassed herself. Maybe because she felt like the argument was stupid, or maybe because she didn’t want to admit that she had been waiting for him to make a move, and maybe she had always been a bit disappointed that he never had. 

Newt threw his hands up, equally as exasperated. “Well what was I supposed to do? Just assume you were into me, when you treated me only *slightly* *LESS* friendly than Thomas and Minho? I was just supposed to assume and hope you liked me?” 

“Well what was I supposed to do?” she shot back. “Assume that you liked me even though you treated me just like ‘one of the boys’?!” 

Newt cocked an eyebrow. “I do NOT treat you like one of the boys.” His voice was quieter now, but far firmer. He almost sounded… harsh. 

“How so?” she demanded, not ready to ease up. 

“For starters, I think about you first thing every morning. And all throughout the day. And when you’re supposed to be getting back from the maze. And right before I fall asleep every night. I don’t think about the other boys that often.”

Y/n opened her mouth to retort, but no words came out. Her brain was still trying to catch up with what Newt had said. “And everytime I see you, I can’t take my eyes off of you, and I can’t help but think about the way it would feel to touch you- not like the way we nudge and high-five, but to *really* touch you- to kiss you and smell your hair and feel your skin under my fingers… to hear you whisper my name back to me... “ he trailed off, staring intently into Y/n’s eyes for the first time that night. His face was no longer a scowl of annoyance, but now there was a flicker of desire behind his eyes. “I don’t think about anyone else that way,” he finally finished, hoarsely. 

“Newt... “ She whispered, nearly choking on her own words, feeling her face flush hotter by the second and the rest of her body erupt in tingles. 

“Yeah, exactly like that baby,” he said as he lunged forward and roughly pushed his lips against Y/n’s, gripping her waist. 

The shock didn’t slow her down; she immediately wrapped her arms around him, tangling her fingers in his gorgeous blonde hair. 

He was kissing her harder than she imagined possible, taking her breath away in every way possible. HIs fingers slid up under her shirt and gripped the bare skin on her waist. He pulled away from her lips and kissed her neck, behind her ear, burying his face in her neck and hair, squeezing her even tighter. “This is how I wanted to feel your skin, this is how I wanted to smell your hair. This is how I wanted to kiss you,” he muttered before returning hungerly to her lips. 

She pulled back for just long enough for a cheeky grin and to say, “Well why didn’t you say so?”

[2018shawn]

love me like a picture | t.h

a/n: omg i have no idea what this is it’s so BAD i just needed to get it OUT because i saw this !!!!! and it just reminded me of tommy in that black t shirt tonight on the live 🥵🥵🥵 also sorry if the read more doesn’t work i’m on my phone n never seems to work lmao also have not proof read bye

warnings: erm smut lmao, hella spanking, sexy pics, a boy taking out his frustration on his girl

you loved tom, you really did, but what you enjoyed more was teasing the living daylights out of him. laying on your stomach, phone in your hand in front of you, you shook your head and laughed at the boys who were just downstairs in the kitchen on their live stream. you could’ve just gone down there and watched the real thing for yourself, but tom had insisted in walking around basically naked all day, which left you hot and bothered and it definitely wasn’t because of the london heat.

[[MORE]]

your body was covered by black underwear and black underwear only; if you could even go as far to call it that. jutting out your ass, pushing it away from the bed, your switched your phone to the camera app, hovering it slightly above you to try and get the best angle possible. with a few adjustments, you’d taken a picture that showed you on his bed, legs crossed and bent at the knee, breasts pushed against the mattress in the lacy black bra that matched the tiny black pants. attaching the file to your conversation with tom, you pressed send and flicked back to the instagram screen, where tom was most royal fucking up his younger brothers hair.

not long after, tom taking a break from his new hair cutting hobby, he picked his phone up from the table and you could see on the live, although no one else seemed to notice, his eyes widened and he almost dropped the scissors. the rest of the live felt long after that, your body still resting on toms mattress and legs kicking in the air back and forth.

when the door swung open, and tom appeared, you wished you’d kept the instagram live open because then at least you’d know when he’d be heading back up to you. he looked flushed, chest breathing deep and jaw clenching tight. your head rested in the palm of your hand, elbow propped up on the bed, and you innocently smiled at him, asking how it all went.

“i fucked it up.” he said, slamming the door shut with his foot and storming over to the bed.

“you did?!” you laughed, rolling your eyes and throwing your phone somewhere in the bed sheets.

“i think you know why.”

“i do?”

stood tall above you, your eyes could barely reach up far enough to see his stern expression, no sign of a laugh or joke anywhere in sight. grabbing your arm he tugged you up, turning himself to sit on the edge of the bed in the process. he was forceful, but he didn’t hurt. demanding, but respectful.

respectful, until he dragged you over his knee and pinned your arms behind your back with only one of his hand holding your wrists. “yes, you really do.”

and that was the first. the smack on your ass echoed through the room as your body jolted forwards, skin instantly burning and breath lodging in your throat. you squirmed, ass wriggling and covered centre rubbing against his thigh, which was all it took for him to quickly repeat his actions. he swapped to the other cheek, letting the abused one somewhat recover as a faint red mark already formed. “quiet now, are we?” he asked, hand grabbing a handful of you and squeezing it before he simply caressed it, thumb stroking back and forth, but you knew he was going to spank you again at any given moment.

you could do nothing but groan, head falling into the bed and he brought his hand back up to a height, dropping it back to your skin with another loud snap. “oh come on, you had a lot to say a minute ago.” his hand rubbed over your skin, and you whispered beneath him, unable to keep completely still. “or had a lot to show, should i say.”

smirking, you lifted your head, turning your neck to look back at him, where he looked down at your peachy asset, admiring how he’d marked it and claimed it as his own. “just wanna fuck, tommy.” you whispered, your lower lip in between your teeth. a half growl, half moan left his throat, and you knew he wanted the same, he didn’t have to say it. unbeknown to you, the final slap on your ass came quick, almost jolting you off the edge of the bed if it wasn’t for his strong hand holding onto your wrists that he still had captive behind your back. “up.” he ordered, and didn’t have to ask twice.

he unzipped his jeans, letting them fall loose at his hips and you could just about see his hardened area peeking through the open entrance. you stood at the edge of the bed like a little submissive, patiently waiting for instruction and when he noticed, he guided you back until the back of your knees hit the bed. instantly falling, you landed into the mattress with a soft thud and he was almost immediately over you, forearm supporting his weight either side of your head. his lips finally crashed into yours and as he pushed his hips into your heat, you hummed into him. you wanted to please him, like he pleased you, but he had other ideas. you tried brushing your hands down his torso, his black t shirt being far too much material for your liking, hovering them over the waist band of his boxers, toying with the hem, pulling it back and letting it slap against his skin. he reached down, grabbing your hands and pulling them back up above your head, holding them in place until you nodded lightly, which told him you’d keep them there.

he reached back between you, pulling his boxers down before slipping your pathetic lace underwear to the side. you whimpered and wriggled as he ran a finger up your folds, already juicy and warm, as if you’d prepared for him all evening. he teased your aching clit, lightly circling the nub before pulling his hand away and wrapping it around his own length. you could do nothing but stare up at him, knowing if you looked down at what he was doing, it would be enough to get you off right there. “what did you want, again, darling?” he hummed, lips planting kisses down your neck as he pumped himself against your cunt a handful of times.

“for..” his tip brushed over your clit and you inhaled sharply, back arching and body pushing into him. “you- us- fuck.” you moaned, eyes rolling back and lips falling ajar when he teased you further, running his length up your swollen lips, where his fingers had just traced. he took your desperate whimpers as a welcome invitation and took one strong thrust, filling you instantly. it sounded dramatic, the way you both released moans from the back of your throats, but it couldn’t be helped. he rested, hips almost flush with yours, letting you both adjust to what felt like the most heavenly feeling. lips on inches apart, toms head hung low and you could feel his deep breaths on your skin.

when he pulled his hips back up, you almost followed him, but a strong hand kept a firm grip on your hip, digging you back into the bed below. you thought he was messing with you, purposely hovering inside of you to prolong his teasing, but he honestly just needed a moment to take it all in. take in how perfect you were beneath him, how that picture sent a million and one thoughts racing through his mind, how that black underwear complimented you beautifully. “tom..” you breathed, wrapping your legs around his broad hips.

he snapped back into the room, eyes connecting with you and he found a steady, hard rhythm. he slapped against you, pounding in and out of you with force, both of you leaving whimpers against each other’s lips. there was no concern for anyone that might possibly walk past the door or even walk in, moans getting louder with each thrust of his hips, a mixture of names being expresssed from one another. he felt thick and powerful inside of you and when he reached down in between you both again, his thumb padded your clit, you knew he was getting close. he never wanted to experience his high alone, and if he thought he was going to snap, he’d make sure to do his best at bringing you to his hightened point with him. a string of swear words escaped his lips, his mouth just centimetres away from your ear which only heightened your senses and sent your mind into a twirl.

his thrusts became less frequent, but far more intense as he pushed your legs wider apart, as wide as possible, to ensure he could hit every best spots inside you. “fuckin’ ell” he moaned and you buried your head into his shoulder, eyes squinting tightly shut and bottom lip captive between your teeth. still pressuring your throbbing nub with the pad of his thumb, hips thrusting final times, you came to your highs together, just as he’d wanted and it felt like bliss; the way your walls tightened around him and the friction of him continuing to thrust through the tightening. his moans of pleasure were loud in your ear, where you tried your best to stifle your own.

eventually stilling completely, he felt like a dead weight on top of you as he struggled to keep strong, lips padding kissing into the crook of your neck and across your shoulder. “i gotta go back on instagram now..”

“and they say chivalry is dead.” you giggled, wriggling and loosening the grip of your legs around his frame.

“maybe i can make up for it later?” he asked, pulling his head up from the warmth of your neck to look down at your glowing features.

“maybe i’ll let you do that.”

——

tom taglist: @imaginashawnns @fallinallincurls @mendesficsxbombay @cosmicholland @fallinfortom

[lovetorn]

the one where ricky falls off his skateboard [ricky bowen]

pairing: ricky bowen x reader summary: ricky breaks his leg whilst skateboarding, luckily y/n’s there to tend to his clingy self.  [requested!] warnings: descriptions of broken bones [comminuted fracture], swearing. 

a/n: Omg yes, I love this idea 🥺!!! I came from uni and I saw this request and knew I had to write it right away. I didn’t mean to make it this long but it sort of happened ahah oops. I hope this is what you wanted anon, enjoy!!

You were beyond pissed off and anxious. Your hands were shaking with panic and they were clammy, your pulse booming in your ears. You could barely hear the piercing sound of the ambulance’s sirens as it pulled up outside the indoor skatepark. Kids that had been skating, stopped to see what had happened, more of them moving away than staying due to the severity. 

You grasped onto Ricky’s hand, probably more worried than he was. I mean, you were definitely showing more signs of distress than him; Ricky had his eyes screwed shut, his breaths short and sharp, shock taking over his body, while you were sweaty and hot and you had tears begging to stream down your cheeks. 

You couldn’t look at his leg when the paramedics had surrounded you. But you were curious, so you took a peek. Bad decision. Ricky’s grip on your hand tightened, to the point where you couldn’t feel it, as he saw you look at his shin. 

His right foot was going right, and you knew a foot should never be able to do that. The bottom half of his leg was swollen, and you couldn’t look at it for too long without feeling the need to vomit. 

“Hey there,” The paramedic smiled at the two of you, placing her jump bag down next to her feet as she crouched beside Ricky’s left side. 

“Hi” Ricky sighed before squeezing his eyes shut once again. 

“So, by the looks of it, you’ve definitely got a fracture in your tibia-fibula area, so, I’m going to place a splint around both of your legs to speed up the transportation process,” She explained, although the words she was speaking weren’t making any sense, you were more focused on Ricky and his sounds of distress. The sounds that made your body numb and stomach turn. 

“I will get my colleagues to get the stretcher for you, while I apply the splint. Sound like a plan, buddy?” Ricky nodded slightly, his left arm almost giving out from holding his weight. Somehow, the calmness of the paramedics had soothed your nerves, showing you that Ricky would be completely fine. 

Once the paramedic had applied the splint to Ricky’s legs, the others had come over with a stretcher. You stood as they manoeuvred Ricky onto the bed, rolling him towards the stairs, before lifting him up and then continuing to roll him towards the back of the vehicle that was parked outside. You followed behind slowly, perking up when you heard Ricky call your name. 

You hopped into the back of the ambulance, “Yeah, Rick?” You answered, his hand grasping yours firmly. 

“Come with me?” He pleaded, his voice was deep and slow, showing the shock was wearing off and the pain of his leg was almost unbearable. It made your heart clench. 

“I think I’ll drive and meet you at the hospital, bub, okay?” You whispered to him as he nodded, not quite listening to your words, mostly finding comfort in the sound of your voice. You really didn’t want to drive, but you concluded that it was probably better for you to focus on something else for half an hour. 

You gave the paramedics your thank you’s, telling them you would meet them there. They all nodded before you jumped down and headed towards Ricky’s orange Beetle. 

~

Once you arrived, you made your way to the waiting room on level 4 where you met up with his Dad. 

“Hi, Mike” You sighed, bringing his father into a hug before you took a seat next to him. 

“Oh Y/n, I can’t imagine what you saw when it happened,” He said, snickering slightly, which brought comfort to you, seeing that his dad knew Ricky would be okay.  

“He’s going into surgery now, the bone that broke was practically shattered” Mike explained, running a hand over his face after. You nodded, exhaling heavily as you got comfortable on the chair. 

“Do you want a coffee or anything?” Mike asked, standing up from the chair next to you. 

“Actually, a coffee would be amazing, thank you” You had a small grin on your face as he nodded, smiling at you before he walked towards the elevator to go down to the cafeteria. 

You pulled out your phone to text Big Red, EJ and Nini the news, your fingers tapping at your screen urgently before sending a text to the group chat. You sat and stared at the waxed floor, a thousand thoughts running through your head as you recalled the events that had occurred. 

The ding of the elevator to your left caught your attention. Ricky’s dad walked towards you, sitting in his chair before handing you your coffee. 

“Thank you so much, I need this after seeing Rick’s leg” You joked, earning a chuckle from his Dad. You took a sip of your drink as you continued to stare at the floor a few feet in front of your shoes. 

~

You had been sitting with Mike Bowen for a few hours at this point, making conversation every once in a while. It was now nightfall and the hospital was surprisingly quiet on this level. 

Eventually, EJ, Nini and Big Red showed up, walking through the elevator, large balloons and stuffed toys in their arms. You grinned widely as they rushed towards you. You stood up, laughing at their over-the-top ‘get well soon’ presents. 

“How are you?” Nini asked, pulling you into a hug after putting the giant stuffed bear she held on the floor. 

“Tired, worried, you know, the usual” You giggled, leaning back to face her. You looked over at Big Red and EJ who were in conversation with Mike about football and other topics you weren’t listening to. 

You and Nini chose to sit on the chairs that were opposite the ones the boys were at. 

“Honestly, are you okay?” Her voice was soft, eyes full of worry for you, her best friend, as you smiled shyly back at her.

“I think I’m fine, I mean his fall was so scary, and when he laid there not moving, I assumed the worst, you know?” You blinked a few times before you looked at her. Nini nodded, placing her hands in yours. 

“But he was so stupid, I told him not to do it and he did it anyway!” You exasperated, shaking your head at the memory. 

“Bub, look! I’m gonna drop in at the bowl over there and then do a grind on the edge. It’s gonna be sick, just watch” Ricky’s grin was wide as he started to walk towards the bowl. 

“Nah, Ricky I think you should just stick to this area,” You said, making him stop and turn around. He looked almost offended, “You don’t think I can do it?” He asked, tilting his head. 

“No, it’s not that, I just think you should start dropping in at the small bowls first before you go to that one” You explained as Ricky furrowed his eyebrows and huffed. You raised your eyebrows at him as he shook his head. 

“I can do it, trust me”

“I just can’t believe he even thought it was a good idea in the first place.” You ranted to Nini, unaware that the boys and Ricky’s Dad were finished catching up and were now heading towards you. She only nodded before looking at the three that stood in front of you. 

“Ricky’s out of recovery, we can go see him if you want,” Mike said, gesturing to the paediatric section where his son was most likely coming out of the anaesthesia still. You and Nini quickly arose from the seats and followed the boys. 

Knocking quietly on the blue door, you all entered Ricky’s room, squishing in together with the giant balloons and stuffed bears. 

“Hi guys,” Ricky spoke, his voice was strained, and his eyes were puffy. He looked around the room at all of his friends, a smile spreading across his cheeks. His eyes met yours while you smiled shyly at him, arms crossed as you stood at the edge of the bed. 

“Well come on, let’s see the damage.” EJ prompted, rubbing his hands together as everyone’s collective stress-relieving laughs sounded. Ricky carefully sat up slightly as he leant forward, slowly removing the blanket for dramatic effect. 

Once lifted, he sported a full-leg, white cast. EJ nodded, humming, while you cringed, your face contorting in pain. Obviously, yours not being physical. Nini and Red expressed their empathy by grimacing and scrunching their noses as his Dad frowned, not being able to think about the pain his son went through. 

“I mean, I’ll be fine, this just means more video games with Red!” Ricky giggled as he fist-bumped Big Red who snorted with laughter. 

“We brought you some gifts.” Nini gestured to all of the presents they had purchased, earning another grin from Ricky. 

“You guys are the best.” He commented, eyes finding your figure again as you stared at his leg that sat in the cast. You were clearly in deep thought, your eyebrows furrowing as you brought your thumbnail to your lips. Ricky immediately looked at his friends and Dad who were joking around with each other. 

“Y/n,” Ricky said, making you snap your head towards him. You looked sadly at him, feeling uncomfortable at the sight of your boyfriend in the hospital. Ricky gave you the come-hither hand signal, eyes begging you to talk to him. 

You took a seat in the plastic chair that was placed next to the bed and took his hand that had a catheter needle inserted in it, in yours. You pressed your forehead against your enclosed hands and deeply sighed. 

“I know, I’m so sorry for not listening to you, baby” He whispered, placing his other hand in your hair. Ricky felt warm drops on his hand, making his insides churn. You lifted your head as your eyes met his honey ones. 

“I'm just glad that you’re alive and breathing, Rick.” You said, tears clouding your vision as his hand moved to your cheek. 

“I should be the one comforting you.” You exhaled deeply, “You just broke your leg, for God’s sake” Ricky laughed, leaning closer to your face. 

“We, uh, we’re gonna go get dinner, catch you later,” EJ announced randomly, the group rushing to exit the room as the two of you rolling your eyes at the childish antics of your friends and Mike Bowen. 

~

Ricky sat on the couch in his living room, an empty box of crackers next to him as he held a PS4 controller in his hands. He had texted you 15 minutes ago; in need of more crackers and other snack foods, he had wished for. 

And as the front door slammed, hearing a small “oops” from you, Ricky was relieved. He was finally at peace as you walked through the kitchen and to the living room with two boxes of salty crackers. He almost moaned at the sight of the snack food and made grabby hands at you. You just made a face at him and rolled your eyes. 

“I missed you,” He said, a grin evident on his cheeks as he eyed the boxes.

“You’re unbelievable” You muttered, throwing one box at him. He cheered loudly as he opened it, diving his hand into the salty goodness. 

“Come sit with me” Ricky yelled jokingly as you turned to leave him. You groaned in exaggeration as you made your way to sit next to him on the brown leather couch. As soon as you got comfortable, Ricky decided to manoeuvre his entire being so he could rest his head in your lap. Moving his body was hard enough, so moving his casted leg was extremely difficult. 

“Thank you for my crackers, baby” He mumbled, voice muffled by his positioning on the couch and across your body. Your hands threaded through his curls as he changed from his game of Fortnite to Netflix. You watched as he swiftly moved around the app, choosing to watch a movie you two had seen a billion times. 

You removed one of your hands from his hair to grab your phone after 15 minutes into the movie. And soon enough, both of your hands had moved away from Ricky’s hair and to your phone. Ricky groaned loudly while you ignored the plea. Ricky then moved his head against your stomach, signalling for you to continue running your hands through his hair and unknotting his curls. After getting no response from you at all, he decided to combine his two methods of attention-grabbing as he whined and moved annoyingly. 

“What?” You laughed, moving your phone away from your face as you awaited Ricky’s reply. 

“Play with my hair,” He said bluntly, causing your jaw to drop and your eyes to roll to the back of your head. 

“I hate you” You murmured, throwing your phone on the couch next to you and placing your hands on his head, unmoving. 

“Please baby, I’m in pain” He premised as you sat in fake contemplation. 

“Only because you said please, you dickhead” You uttered, earning a small ‘thank you’ that made your heart swell. 

Bed-ridden Ricky was a pain in the ass, but God was he cute. 

Feedback is always appreciated x

[angst-fairygodmother]

Omg I've been binge reading all your Klaus fics and can I just say you are an AMAZING writer and I'd straight up buy your novel in a heartbeat if you write one. The way you use words and make me feel things, I can't even! ❤️ I saw your requests are open so I wanna request a Klaus fic where the reader takes care of him after he comes home all messed up.. like runs him a bath, gives him a haircut, cooks him food and puts him to bed...You can make it NSFW too in the end, I surely won't complain ;)

A/N: Listen, I think like 25-50% of why I love Klaus is the mere concept of caring for him when he needs it, so this was an excellent prompt. Thank you so much! (I hope you enjoy it even though it didn’t end up getting NSFW) Word Count: 2197 Content Warning: T - withdrawal, references to drug use

You weren’t really paying attention to the familiar hallway of your apartment building, too busy juggling groceries in the struggle to find the right key. You had lived in this building for three and a half years now, it wasn’t like you needed to look where you were going, instinct guiding up the stairs and along to your own front door. Which is why when a figure lurched out of the shadows, stumbling toward you, you were completely unprepared. You screamed, dropping both your keyring and the bags of groceries on your arms as you threw your hands up in defense. The back of your mind registered the sound of something cracking, probably your eggs as they hit the tile floor. The rest of you was focused on the hundred and twenty or so pounds of human body crashing into you. You felt the fuzz of ragged fur and well-worn leather beneath your fingers as you tried to steady the both of you.

Finally you registered the sweaty, washed-out face.

“Klaus?” you asked, recognizing your neighbor.

He had only moved into your building a few months ago, but you two had quickly become friends, chatting – okay maybe you, at least, were flirting but it’s not like it was going to go anywhere, not really – in the mailroom or when you passed each other coming and going. A few times, you had invited him over for dinner or he had talked you into spending more hours than any human reasonably should watching movies, stretched out together on his couch. But you had never seen him like this.

“Oh hey, Y/N,” he trilled, trying to act normally even as he swayed again and you reached out to brace him. “Don’t mean to be a bother, but I’m…not doing so hot and I didn’t know where else to go.”

You frowned in concern and ushered him inside, only belatedly remembering your groceries and going back for them after you had guided him to a seat in your living room.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as you began to put things away and waited for him to settle. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like you just got dragged through hell and then spat back out the other side.”

He chuckled, more of a defeated escape of air than an actual laugh. “I feel like it too.”

You frowned at the eggs, completely ruined. The carton of orange juice was dented and wouldn’t sit right on the shelf but it was whole. Tomatoes: bruised, blueberries: free range in the grocery bag. Klaus didn’t seem inclined to say anything more, not that he had really said anything yet, anything of substance.

“You said you didn’t know where else to go?” you prompted, trying a different angle.

“I haven’t had anything in days,” he explained vaguely before doubling over to press his head between his knees. “Christ I feel like shit,” he groaned.

Something about the way he said it registered in your mind enough for you to figure out what was going on.

“Withdrawal?” you asked simply, moving to sit on the couch, turning your body into the arm of it so you could face him.

He nodded, looking up at you with red-rimmed eyes.

“So why come to me? I don’t…I mean I can’t help you get a fix.”

“I know. I didn’t think you could. I just didn’t want to be alone.”

“Okay. Do you need anything? Is there any way I can help?”

He shrugged, shivering despite the sheen of sweat on his brow. His tongue darted out to lick his chapped lips and you tried to resist the urge to trace its path with your eyes. He looked like he just might curl up in your chair and go to sleep, and if that was what he really wanted, you would let him. However, he was sick, and he had come to you, and if he couldn’t tell you what he needed, you would just have to try everything until something helped.

A moment later, you had put the kettle on for some tea and were handing him a drink of cool water.

“Here, drink this,” you said, pressing the thick green glass into his hand. “I’ll make you some tea, mint to help with any nausea, but that’s going to take a bit to be ready. Are you hungry? I was planning a bolognese but I can do something lighter instead. Maybe some soup?”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that, Y/N…”

“When is the last time you ate?”

He frowned, blinking heavily and turning his head to stare into the space beside him as if your end table held the answer to your question. “I can’t remember.” He paused. “No, we had waffles…was it really that long ago?”

“Right,” you said, a little concerned that he almost seemed to be having a conversation with someone who wasn’t there. “That settles it, I’m making dinner.”

Decision made, you stood once more and began bustling about your kitchen. He grimaced as you chopped the vegetables and herbs for the stock and you winced, apologizing quickly and trying your best to chop quietly.

“So why are you…I mean why haven’t you…used…in a few days? I’m not an expert but isn’t cold turkey super not the recommended method to break an addiction?”

“Hm?” he asked, startling as if you had woken him from dozing. “What was that?” He turned around in the chair to blink at you over the counter.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you had fallen asleep, you can go back to it if you want…”

“No, no, it’s fine. But I didn’t hear your question.”

“Oh, well I was just wondering why the cold turkey? Especially since it doesn’t exactly seem planned?”

“Dealer got picked up,” he said, stifling another yawn. “Most of the others around are too scared of the cops to take a new client.”

You nodded, surprised at how casual he was being about the whole thing.

“It’ll blow over in a few more days, and everything will be fine. I hope.” His voice dropped on the last remark and you weren’t sure you were supposed to hear it, so you decided not to comment.

Instead, you watched with a frown as he stifled another yawn.

“You know, the soup’s going to take a while, if you want to try and get some sleep while you wait?” you offered.

“Oh no, I couldn’t. Sleep is when they find me easiest. God so many grabbing hands. And the screaming. Always screaming.” He shivered, not from cold or the lack of chemicals or for the drama, but in obvious, genuine fright.

“Oh.” You frowned and bit your lip. “Is there anything I can…do?” you felt yourself flush with embarrassment as soon as the words left your lips, certain that they would sound far less innocent and well-meaning that you had intended them.

“Well,” he drawled, trailing off in thought. “Sometimes they’ll stay at bay for a bit if I’m not alone?”

“Okay. Well, there’s not really a lot of room for both of us on the couch, so we could take a nap in my…bed…but, and don’t take this the wrong way, you’re kind of gross…so would you mind maybe showering first?”

He laughed, high and light and it made you smile, sounding a bit more like his usual self. “No offense taken. Ooh, do you have a tub? I would love a bath…”

You raised your eyebrow curiously but nodded.

His hands clapped together giddily.

You padded to your room to dig out a spare towel and were about to give it to him when another thought occurred: he had nothing to put on after except the clothes he was currently sweating through and hadn’t been cleaned in who knew how long. Rooting through your drawers you eventually found a pair of fluffy pink and blue striped pajama pants and an old t-shirt from the Led Zeppelin concert you had gone to in high school which looked like they might fit him.

“Y/N, you are an absolute angel,” he said dramatically as you handed him the stack.

“Can you handle it on your own or…?” you trailed off, feeling awkward about your unspoken offer to help him bathe, but only a few moments before he had been practically falling asleep into his glass, and he had been unsteady on his feet in the hall.

“Oh I’ll be fine,” he said, waving a hand dismissively before he suddenly turned his puppy-dog green eyes on you. “Unless you wanted to. It really helps me relax to have someone wash my hair for me…”

You felt the hot blush creep across your face and down your neck again as you bit your lip.

“O…okay…” you stammered nervously.

“Perfect, now I’ll just go in there and slip under the suds and I’ll shout for you when I’m decent.”

“There’s nothing decent about you,” you muttered under your breath. “And I think you might be trying to give me a heart attack.”

He winked at you as he passed you and you knew he had heard you.

~

A few moments later, you had set the soup to simmer low on the stove and were kneeling on the uncomfortable tile of your bathroom floor behind Klaus. Your fingers were buried in his sopping hair, gently lathering the practically candy-scented shampoo into it. His eyes were closed, head tilted slightly back, exposing the column of his throat to you tantalizingly, and the sounds he made, practically purring at your touch, had you thinking all sorts of untoward thoughts. You had to keep reminding yourself that you were just trying to help him and that it probably meant nothing to him in his muddled state.

Finally, after maybe a little longer playing with scrubbing his hair than necessary, you scooped up some of the water to rinse away the soap. As you did, your fingertips brushed along his exposed neck and shoulders and he moaned.

“Do that again. Please,” he begged.

Heart hammering so loud you were sure he could hear it behind him, you did as he asked, dancing your fingertips along the planes and angles of his skin before digging them in just a little, gently, massaging him.

“Christ, Y/N, that feels so good,” he sighed.

‘The water’s getting cold,” you pointed out, a little breathless from the way he said your name. “And you’re going to turn into a prune if you spend any more time in there. You should probably get out.”

He turned his head, craning to look at you. “Would you like to stay and watch?”

Caught off-guard, you stared at him, gaping like a fish out of water, your mouth opening and closing. Then you stood, racing from the room, his lilting laughter following you. You practically threw yourself onto your mattress, hoping that the few minutes it would take for him to get out of the tub and dress would be enough for you to calm your frantic pulse before you actually exploded.

You also realized that you were in a now-damp pair of jeans and a button-down and that wouldn’t be very comfortable if you fell asleep in it, so you quickly changed into a baggy shirt and shorts, settling them on your hips just as the door creaked in and Klaus entered, bare-chested but fitting into your pants better than you ever had.

“Why are you doing all this for me, Y/N?” he asked, sitting beside you, still tousling his curls with the towel.

“Because you’re my friend and you asked me for help,” you said as if it were obvious.

“You could have turned me away and told me not to bother you with. Other people have.”

“No I couldn’t have,” you smiled softly. “I care about you too much to do that.”

Suddenly his lips were on yours, surging forward hot and hungry and desperate. You moaned as his tongue parted your lips somewhat forcefully and he pressed you backward onto the bed. You fingers tangled into his hair, tugging on it and causing him to inhale sharply. One of his hands, still chilled and shaking slightly, found its way beneath your waistband, sliding easily past the slightly worn elastic. You hissed as he moved your underwear out of the way and made contact with your skin.

“Klaus…wait…” you gasped out, pushing at his shoulders to move him away from you.

He pulled back immediately, looking at you with a mix of concern and fear.

“What is it? Did I…?” he murmured, apology already dancing on his tongue.

You reached up to cup his face between your hands, caressing softly and trying to brush the worried wrinkles from his brow.

“No, Klaus, you didn’t do anything wrong,” you whispered. “I just…I think we should take it slow tonight, okay?”

He nodded carefully, clearly unused to this kind of tenderness, and you leaned up to kiss his cheek before pulling him down beside you, curling around him and running your fingers soothingly through his shaggy hair. He sighed contentedly, snuggling closer and burying his face in your neck.

[heli0s-writes]

I would adore more reader/Peter platonic interaction like, please give us a fic listing off all the wack ass shit they do, including the time they buy a massive baguette and attempt to make and eat a real big sandwich, but they use one of Tony's cards to buy it and he walks over to ask them about it only to see them going full goblin on a massive sandwich. Also they most definitely make the "I hope I die" jokes with a straight face and the entire team is like horrified at them

omg “full goblin” I’M WHEEZING. Here u go bb:

Part 3 of DEADCRUSH // Bag of Tricks One-Shots Masterlist

After the Terrible Twerkfest at Tony’s party, you and Peter are banned from attending any more tower events unless they are specifically low-key with no governors, elites, outside friends, family members, children, or animals. Even the fish have been taken away and placed in Tony’s office.

For their safety, Tony hisses with his arms crossed the next morning as you nurse a tremendous hangover, slumped across Bucky’s lap on the couch. Christ, Barnes, will you keep an eye on this menace?

Then he throws a withering look to your feet, placed over Peter’s knee, and shakes his head. I’m disappointed in you, kid.

Peter blushes and sucks noisily on his juice box and the sound of it goes straight into your throbbing eyes.

Tony stomps out soon after—another twenty-five minutes of grousing where his voice sounds like the parents of those old Charlie Brown movies: wah wah waaaaaah.

You tuck your hand into the pocket of your pajama pants, poke Peter with your big toe, and whack the heavy plastic rectangle against your thigh.

“Check it out, Double P.”

“Oh dude. Give back! He’s gonna kill me!”

Bucky groans, carefully lifts your head and places you back down onto the cushion. “I can’t be a part of this.” He mutters before making his exit, too.

Bless his heart, your sweet boyfriend. He adores you, you know, but in the famous words of Miley Cyrus circa 2010, you can’t be tamed, Bucko.

Peter tries to snatch Tony’s credit card from you, but you’re faster and roll forward until you’re perched both feet on the top of his thighs. He grunts with your weight and starts punching your toes in hopes of getting you off.

“Hey Pete,” you say, staring dead into his eyes, hangover suddenly absent. “You ever watch those old Scooby-Doo cartoons with the subliminal weed messages?”

-

It’s monstrous.

It’s a travesty and a miracle and holy fuckin’ like, yoinks, Scoob—it’s real.

Sam shrieks when he walks into the kitchen and finds the two of you marveling at the massive creation stacked high over both your heads. It’s even higher than his head.  

“What the HELL is that?!”

Peter leans over the side, inspecting the stack and rams his finger into a tomato that threatens to slide out. Then, Sam watches in horror as the same finger slides down a few stories of—he doesn’t even know—but then it shoves itself into what looks like a layer of vanilla icing.

You cackle, spearing a tiny dill pickle with two welded-together wooden skewers before thrusting it down the middle of the tower. The thing wobbles back and forth before settling, stilled by its new support. Then, you and Peter clap in unison, cheering each other and kissing your fingertips in a dramatic flair.

“Chef,” You bow, “You’ve outdone yourself.”

“No, Chef!” He responds, “I am but your humble servant.”

Peter Parker’s former apprehension from two hours ago has also fled with your hangover. Even if you were still reeling from last night’s three beers, two cocktails, and five very full shots of whiskey, this big boy is the motherfucker of all hangover cures.

Bread. Ham. Ketchup. Mustard. Cheese. Lettuce. Tomato. Sardine. Marshmallow. Fudge. Ad nauseam. All topped with a shiny mini Vlasic dill pickle.

You crack your knuckles. Peter cracks his neck. Sam throws up in his mouth a little.

The door swings open and ten strutting feet approach and almost audibly screech to a halt at the sight before them.

You and Peter are going absolutely mental on this thing. If Steven King wrote a novel about the horrors of how one might consume a sandwich—this would be it. If Mary Shelley were alive to witness this transgression against nature, Frankenstein’s Monster would have been a sandwich and not a man. If Lovecraft—fucking Lovecraft—Cthulu would be a different beast—a multigrained type of beast.

There is fudge and fish smeared across your forehead. Peter has what looks like flecks of cheddar inside of his ear. The two of you are balancing this tower between your four hands by some sweet grace of God because there is no logical explanation for how it can support its weight in any way.

There is a secret language being passed between you two, muffled warbling, hisses of air through nostrils, quirks of chins and heads, pointing each other where to eat next.

You slowly take one hand away from the stack and dig your fingers into your back pocket. Between your index and your middle sits the heavy matte card of Tony Stark. It reels back before you fling it straight into his forehead with a splat—mustard speckling over his glasses and nose.

“You… goddamn… Barnes!” He wheezes like a kettle, “What did I say!?”

Bucky can only stare. It was only last night that he swore he saw you ethereal like an angel. Dusted pink. Now you’re drenched in ketchup and lettuce.

“You’re grounded! Both of you! Grounded! No! Matter of fact, all of you are grounded!” For the second time that day, Tony stomps from the room.

Bucky watches as you wink at him—or maybe, you’re blinking the crumbs out of your eye. He sighs happily, thinks about how you could still be an angel, albeit a kind of… crazy one. But damn if it isn’t endearing.

He claps Steve on the shoulder, “Pal…” He smiles, “There really were no girls like her back in the day.”

Steve snorts loudly, enough for you to hear him, “Buck, if there were any girls like her back in the day…” He shakes his head.

“They would have all died from food poisoning.”

[matsumi101]

Who is this Kid?

Crossdressing Fem!Reader Hamilton Insert

Part 2 - Dance with Me

Description:

The war is bloody, that’s so surprise, and you were in the middle of it all. One brash interaction later, you found yourself intertwined with an interesting group, joining them in their antics from their thievery to the taverns.

———————————

Warnings: swearing, drinking, harassment, guns and blood, Lafayette dancing poorly (at first)

———————————

Notes:

> Continuation of the first part that you can read here

> “F/N” means fake name and “Y/N” means your real first name

> This part happens in between “Right Hand Man” and “Winter’s Ball”

> omg i did not expect people to actually like this!! Tagging @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth @cutie1365 and @girlmadeofivory since they were looking for a part 2

———————————

“LET'S RAISE A GLASS!”

“TO THE REVOLUTION!”

You held no shame as you cheered alongside your group, raising your mug with the rest. You chugged down half of your mug's content before letting out a heavy sigh. Your face was flushed, as you've had so many rounds that you never really counted anymore after getting past three. All you knew was that your friends were on the same page as you, and that you pitied every lady in America because damn they are missing out on this. "Now seeing you down that with a straight face made me like you a lot more, F/N," Lafayette said jokingly. You giggled uncontrollably, dropping the mug on the table with a loud thud.

"Why thank you." You flipped your tied hair for dramatic effect.

Your confidence was taken positively by the table. As promised, you guys celebrated for a job well done in stealing the cannons, but it was held back for some time until work didn’t demand so much for the time being. Not only that, it became a double celebration since Alexander was promoted as George Washington’s secretary, or rather Alexander preferred, his right hand man. “So, Hamilton, how does it feel being General Washington’s right hand man?” you asked. Admittedly, you haven’t had much time with the four people as you did since the cannon raid, only seeing much of Alexander nearby Washington, so you wanted to make the most out of the time with them.

Alexander’s face soured, earning a hearty laugh from you and the others. “Come on, your writing’s impeccable, you should be proud the General chose you,” John pointed out. He slung an arm over Alexander for comfort, but he leaned a little too far from his seat and ended up toppling down to the floor. This caused another round of laughter, with Hercules repeatedly slamming his hand on the table and you facepalming at what happened. “Mon dieu, John. You are drunk as fuck,” Lafayette slurred in fake exasperation, looking down at his fallen friend.

“I’m sure everyone is.”

“But not drunk enough, eh?”

You nudged at Hercules, wiggling your eyebrows. “You calling for another round?” Hercules guessed, though the smirk on his face showed that he already knew the answer. “Hell yeah!” You growled excitedly before gulping down the rest of your drink. Hercules called for a refill for the table, and once everyone got their mugs full again the rowdiness resumed.

The tavern was full that night, but that didn’t stop you from noticing something off a few tables away. You saw a pair of girls enjoying their time drinking like everyone else, but they were being eyed by the group of men, three from your peripherals, right across them. You would’ve brushed it off as guys simply scouting them, but the lingering wolfish gazes and intent grins weren’t at all nice to see.

“See something you like, F/N?”

You brought your attention back to the table and saw all four guys staring at you, all eyebrows raised and knowing grins plastered to their faces. You scoffed, bringing your mug to your lips. “I’m good, thanks,” you declined. “Nothing here catches my interest.” You closed your eyes and drank as you heard your friends give a long gasp of amusement.

“But do you plan to look for someone in the ball?”

Ah, you almost forgot. A ball was happening in a few weeks, and Washington insisted to have the officers attend. You were just a Private, but Alexander convinced to get you an invite, too. Your eyes met John’s, and for a moment it seemed like there was something else that spoke in his gaze that you couldn’t quite comprehend. “Maybe I am, or maybe I’ll just be there,” you answered thoughtfully, taking a sip. “Or maybe I won’t be.” You heard everyone groan, making you snicker quietly.

“I swear, you’re just as bad as Burr.”

“Hey, I am vocal with my stances, thank you very much.”

“And what’s your stand?”

You stood up, stomping your foot on your seat. “Fuck the King!” you roared, raising your drink. Your friends echoed your declaration, which was followed by approving cheers, howls, and raised glasses. You grinned toothily as you took a gulp. Lafayette, being the other standing person, bumped at your chest approvingly.

You sat back down, sighing. “But seriously, I don’t know if I should attend the ball.” Lies. You were sure to go, the only conflict was as who you were going to go. As a woman, it’s still the unfortunate duty of yours to find a wealthy man to marry for your family’s sake, and how else can you find a rich guy to woo other than showing up prim and proper and in a dress at a ball? Another part of you wanted to go as a soldier, wondering to see how the people saw you at the ball, and mostly to drink as much as you wanted with no shame.

“Really, you should go, F/N. It’d be disappointing not to see Lafayette trip over himself in the dance floor.”

Both you and Alexander glanced at John in interest while Lafayette gave the freckled guy a pointed look. “Lafayette? An aristocrat? And he can’t dance?” Alexander interrogated, and John nodded at each question teasingly with closed eyes. Hercules was chuckling beside you. “S'il vous plaît, that one instance was an accident!” Lafayette exclaimed. You leaned to Alexander a bit. “Was he swearing?” you whispered.

“No, he said ‘please’. You don’t know French?”

“Nah, man. At least, not enough.”

“Laurens, do tell us about that one instance.”

John was more than ready to oblige to Alexander’s request, but Lafayette jumped in, quite literally, to shush him up. “Woah!” you interjected, grabbing the drinks on the table just before the flustered Frenchman could knock it off from his path. Hercules had done the same, and just like you there were a few spills that landed on his shirt and pants.

“What the fuck, Laf?!” John groaned, more annoyed than entertained with the reaction.

You diverted your attention momentarily from the chaos to the women you were keeping watch earlier. They were fine, though the men still weren’t taking their eyes off of them, much to your distaste. You looked back and saw Hercules and Alexander laughing their asses off. “You know if you’re that embarrassed with your dancing I can guide you. I’ll be the girl,” you offered casually, and the mood was cut short.

"What?" they all muttered.

"What?" you echoed with equal confusion.

Then your drunk mind realized it. You were still a guy in their eyes, so you had to make something up. “I've been with more than enough ladies to understand their side of the dance,” you purred, making sure that they caught your boasting tone. "Ahh, so Alexander's not the only tomcat in this group, I see," Laurens mused, sending you a devilish smirk. You played along and grinned smugly in return. “What can I say? Ladies just can’t resist the pretty boy,” you bragged, briefly running a thumb on your nose.

“You sure about this, F/N?” Hercules warned jokingly. “We weren’t kidding about Lafayette being bad at dancing.”

“How bad could it be?”

Hercules rolled his eyes and leaned back on his seat. “Your funeral.” You stood up, placing the drinks down before pulling Lafayette off the table. “Alright, c’mere you poor thing,” you grunted. You put your hands up and beckoned Lafayette to come to you. The man complied, though evidently embarrassed, as he took your right hand and placed his other on your waist. You put your left hand on his shoulder, reminiscing the years you were taught to dance.

“Okay, let’s take a step-”

It was just the first step and he already failed. You yelped the second Lafayette stepped on both your feet, Lafayette mirroring your expression when you unintentionally dug your nails into his hand and shoulder in response to his accident. Alexander, Hercules, and John broke into fits of laughter as you looked at them with disbelieving eyes. Maybe you were starting to regret this.

“Excuse me a second.”

You grabbed one of the shotglasses and downed up the hard drink before returning to Lafayette. “If you’re going to charm the ladies, that is definitely not it,” you quipped. “I’m going to teach you how to dance properly, even if it kills my toes. Now get back here.” You returned to your previous position, and Lafayette seemed even more hesitant to proceed.

Though you insisted, and continued with the practice. No one gave any judging eyes, seeing that the everyone was too drunk out of their minds to care at all to see two men practicing a ball dance in the middle of the tavern. A few hours, a couple more drinks, and countless missteps later, you could barely hold your proud smile when Lafayette managed to step in sync with you without hitting your feet for the next few minutes. Your friends cheered for him, and Lafayette’s grin widened as his confidence rose.

You two glided across the room a bit more, and you were inevitably enjoying it. You looked up to Lafayette, who was focused on the floor to make sure he was getting it right. “You should practice not looking down when dancing,” you suggested, Lafayette looked up to you, hesitancy in his eyes, before returning his eyes back down. He’d been unusually silent the whole time, in contrast to his normally boisterous drunken self. “Don’t worry, you got it now. Eyes on me,” you instructed. You moved your hand from his shoulder to under his chin and gently lifted his head despite his stiffness, feeling the prickling sensation of his unkept stubble. You figured it was just his nervousness to step on you again for the nth time that’s making him tense.

“Relax, Lafayette.”

There was reluctance, but Lafayette complied anyways and kept his eyes on yours, feeling his shoulders droop a little. You hummed the counting, your steps in sync. After finishing a routine without any mistakes, you broke to a congratulating grin. “You got the hang of it!” you cheered quietly. Though, Lafayette’s expression was contrast to yours. He had his lips drawn to a flat line as confusion stirred in his eyes. You cocked your head at him, your smile turning into a frown as he pulled away and walked back to the table. “Lafayette?” you called quietly, unsure why your friend looked uncomfortable.

“So, comment ai-je fait?”

The second Lafayette faced the three, he pulled up a grin. You followed him, your worried look lingering to him as you sat down. “If you can do it drunk, you can do it sober,” John praised, pushing a mug across the table to Lafayette, who caught it with ease. You picked up your own cup, forcing your eyes away from the now bright mood your friend held. You glanced at the girls again, and you saw that they were standing up to leave. From the corner of your eyes, you could see the men shuffling readily, and it wasn’t a good sign.

You leaned forward the table before you could raise any suspicions. “I have to say, Lafayette’s a fast learner,” you complimented, smirking as you brought your mug to your lips. You gave the said man a once over, but your attention was really at the two women that passed your table. “That makes me the savior of putting his tripping days to its end.” Your humor evoked approving laughs, but Lafayette merely rolled his eyes in response. Though, he had the corners of his mouth pulled up regardless. You sent a lopsided grin of your own, your eyes snapping momentarily to the four men that hastily brushed past the table, one even accidentally hitting your chair.

You fell silent for a few seconds before you pushed yourself up. “I’ll be back shortly,” you announced. You took your coat resting on the back of your seat and put it on, checking if your holstered gun was hidden from plain sight. You didn’t wait for a response and headed out of the tavern, the cold wind immediately biting your warm skin. You looked around the empty streets, wondering where the men had disappeared to so quickly. You contemplated on which direction to go first, but the fleeting shadow from the side answered the question for you.

You walked as steadily as you could, a hand over your covered pistol for assurance that it was there. You peered over the alleyway that led to the back of the pub, and there you saw what you were looking for. The two women, gripping to each other for dear life as they backed against the wall of the other building, while the four men stumbled closer to them. The sight disgusted you, and you weren’t going to stand around for another second.

“Hey! Leave them alone!” you growled.

The men looked over to you as you marched forward. “Fuck off, kid. This isn’t your fun,” one of the men spat. You narrowed your eyes at them, discreetly tucking a hand under your coat. You kept your posture straight, fighting back every ounce of nervousness in your system as you walked even closer. “Let these women be before anything bad happens here,” you warned, your voice bordering to a threatening growl. “I’m not fucking around.”

“Oho, strong words from a pipsqueak like you.”

Two of the men were about to approach you, but you weren’t taking any chances. You drew out your pistol, eliciting a yelp from the women and surprised gasps from the men. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” you asked in a mocking tone. You moved your head to the women, who were staring at you with terrified eyes. You smiled warmly before nodding to the street, motioning them to leave. They sent you a brief look of relief before they rushed out, and you aimed the gun at the man who tried to take a hold on one of the woman’s wrist. As soon as the girls disappeared from your sight, your face hardened again. “I’ll remember your faces,” you snarled, observing the men’s faces.

“The next time I find any of you harassing a lady, I will shoot,” you threatened. "And you will not like where I'll be aiming."

You paid no attention to their fuming faces as you turned to your heels and went back inside. You tucked your gun back into the holster, pulling a smile once you returned to the table. “Where’d you disappear to?” Alexander was the first to question as soon as you sat back down. “Just some business,” you answered coyly, though the proud smirk in your face showed that you were proud of the “business” you attended to. You were about to take a sip of your drink when-

Wham!

You didn’t even have enough time to process what happened. The next thing you knew, your teeth hit harshly on the rim of your mug before your entire face made contact with the hardwood table, feeling the splinters sink into your cheeks. “What the fuck, dude?!” Hercules yelled, shooting up from his seat. It would seem that the other three were close to following suit. You groaned as you sat up, wiping the spilled beer off your face. You could feel a warmer liquid just below your nose, and you didn’t need to think for another second to figure it out. You could hear John say something, but it was drowned out by Hercules’ bickering towards the culprits.

“Let them be, Herc,” you coughed.

Despite your dazed vision, you managed to grab Hercules by his sleeve and urged him to sit back down. “They’re not worth the time.” Hercules resisted for a moment, but he complied anyways. He sent the four jeering men a heated glare before he sat down. You ran your tongue across your teeth, silently thanking that it didn’t chip. You could hear a pair of feet shuffling close to you, followed by a tap on your shoulder. You looked up and saw a waitress handing you a dampened hand towel. You muttered a thanks as you accepted the cloth. You pressed the towel to your nose and lips, wincing in pain while you squeezed your eyes shut.

“Are you okay, F/N?”

You pried an eye open and saw everyone looking at you worriedly. “Just dandy,” you huffed, but there was an unintended sarcasm that betrayed your assurance. “Are there splinters on my face?” you asked, lowering the towel a bit as you put your face out. “Let me see.” Alexander scooted closer, examining for any stray wood pieces. Once he saw a splinter, he plucked it off with ease. After another round of observing, it seemed that all the pieces were removed, so he leaned back. You exhaled in relief.

“I think that’s all of it.”

“Thanks, Hamilton.”

“Now, are you going to explain why that just happened?” Lafayette spoke up, crossing his arms.

“Does this have something to do with your ‘business’?” Alexander followed, air quoting the word “business”.

You sighed and nodded, putting the towel back to your nose. “Those guys were stalking some women earlier, so when I caught them harassing the girls outside I told them to fuck off,” you confessed tiredly. John was the first to react, shooting up and ready to make his way to the group that passed earlier. “Don’t,” you hissed, not wanting any more trouble than there already was. You looked at Alexander hoping that he’d stop John, but alas he looked encouraging more than anything.

“Guys, don’t. I’m serious. They’re just pissed that I cockblocked them.”

You gurgled the rest of the beer left in your cup after the spill, washing away the metallic taste of blood in your mouth. “Forget about them, let’s just enjoy the rest of the night,” you insisted. Though it took a little while for the tension to lift off your and your friends’ shoulders, everyone managed to push the incident out of their minds and return to the joyous mood earlier.

An hour before the tavern closed, the group figured it was a good time to make their leave. They paid for their drinks and hobbled out, arms slung over one another as they laughed and sang mindlessly. “Guyyys, help, I don’t speak French!” you cried out exaggeratedly, but you were only responded by slurred chuckles. Somehow you broke into two groups, with John and Alexander leaning on one another up ahead while you were squished in between Hercules and Lafayette. As much fun as you had with the guys, the winter chill was something you wouldn’t want to stay out for.

“This is my way.”

Hercules moved away, and you whined quietly, one due to the loss of warmth on your side, and another with the lack of support to keep Lafayette up. Alexander stared at John for a bit, reluctant to let go, but he had to since he was under Hercules’ roof until he could find a place to stay. “It’s fine, Alexander! You’re clinging onto Laurens like it’s the last time you’ll see him,” you called out, laughing as you stumbled a bit, and your teasing was somehow enough for Alexander to finally pull away.

“G’night, boys.”

You, John, and Lafayette waved the two farewell before trudging along the streets. “Where’s your place, F/N?” John asked, hopping back to join you and Lafayette. “Hmmmmm, some distance away,” you hummed. You knew that going to your real home was a bad idea since you basically ran off, but there was no relative you could go to without being snitched on (fucking Loyalists), either. Ever since you left, you’ve been staying in the camp. It wasn’t much, but shelter was shelter. You knew a place, but you doubted that you’d get there unscathed, especially at this hour of the night.

“Really?” John pressed.

“Yeah.”

After a while it was John’s turn to head home. He stopped at the corner heading to his place, turning to face you and Lafayette. “F/N, before I could forget,” he suddenly said. You quirked a brow as John shuffled toward you, pulling out a white piece of cloth. “I cleaned it, don’t worry,” he assured. You recognized it as your handkerchief, which you completely forgot that you left with him. You snatched it from him, worry bubbling in your chest.

“Ah, I see it’s really important to you,” John breathed.

Lafayette stared curiously as you grazed your fingers over the flower decoration at the corner of the cloth. “So, Y/N, huh?” John spoke up inquisitively. You snapped your head up, eyes wide as you clutched the handkerchief to your chest. “Gonna tell us about your girl anytime soon?” he probed, his eyes glittering with interest. You relaxed a bit, but not entirely, seeing that his assumption was far from the truth.

“Is this why you were dodging our question about the ball?” Lafayette piped in.

“Maybe.”

Lafayette rolled his eyes at you. You figured enough that he had a pet peeve for vague responses, as did everyone else. You snickered, tucking the handkerchief in your coat. “Hey, answer my question!” John exclaimed. “I’m gonna head inside in a bit.” You smiled bashfully, closing your eyes and thought of what to say. Despite your hazy conscience, you found the will to restrain yourself from talking about you.

“Sure, some other time,” you answered quietly. “When things aren’t so complicated right now.”

Despite himself, John bade farewell and went home. It was left with you and Lafayette walking side to side. “I’ll head here now,” you spoke up, pointing to the alleyway heading to the other street. You waved Lafayette goodbye before shoving your freezing hands into your coat pocket. The best place for you to crash in for the night was at an inn, and you knew a cheap one not too far off. You were glad enough to know some place you could afford.

After checking in and locking yourself into the room, you undid the corset that had been binding your chest the whole day. You gasped in relief, plopping down on the bed. Your nose had been numbed to the scent, but you knew that you reeked of alcohol, especially with how much liquor spilled onto you after your head was banged on the table. You figured a bath would be nice, and washing your clothes while you’re at it since it was all that your had at the moment.

After the wash, you threw yourself back into the bed. The ball, you thought. Goodness, what were you going to do? You were torn with how you were going to attend, and if the choices were going to keep driving you mad then might as well not go altogether. Yet, the bigger part of you wanted to go, to see those men you call your friends. Alexander, John, Hercules, and Lafayette; they were the most fun you had, and you wouldn’t want to miss a grand moment with them, in the battlefield or in life. You refused to let that kind of feeling go.

You sighed, gently burying your face in the pillow. You could feel the ache of the side of your head that hit the table, which was just above your eyebrow, but you paid no mind to it. The alcohol was making you drowsy, and you were more than willing to comply. As you drifted off to sleep, the same worries as earlier lingered in your mind.

A soldier? Or a woman?

[catharrington]

I may have scrolled down and see that promp list and... you know 😍. So can I ask for bodyswap & kegboys?

I have never never written body swap au before so bare with me!!!

@livedsomanylives thanks so much for the ask!! and here is a link for the list my ask is always open for more!

***

Steve woke up but it didn’t necessarily feel like he woke up, he was sure he was still dreaming. Laying down on his stomach, head slightly turned to the side, he saw a gaudy poster of a three headed Cerbus looking thing growling back at him. Steve blinked. Mostly sure he didn’t hang a poster on the back of his door while he was sleeping.

Then the door shook, rocked on its hinges, with a mean knocking noise. “Get the Hell up! You are not going to make Max late again because you were curing your hair!” And then more words were said but rushed and under the mans breath. Steve didn’t recognize the voice, but he sure was starting to get a grasp on the location.

He wasn’t sure how it happened but he must have slept over with Billy, maybe sleep-walked and climbed through his window sure, sure. Steve lifted himself and spun around to find the bed empty. He sat up and looked around and found the whole room empty. Except for him.

Steve hesitantly, reminding himself to take steady breaths, started towards the closet and small mirror set up there. He looked at his reflection, and Billy looked back.

Omg, he thought. It’s like a shitty sci-fi tv show. Steve felt Billy’s cheek and the beard trying to grow there, then across Billy’s head of tight curls, then he cupped one of Billy’s meticulously crafted abs. Then Steve stopped himself.

Don’t be a pervert, he sighed almost out loud.

“Hey, jerk, are you awake?” That was Max’s voice and Steve barely had anytime to consider how fresh weird this was before she busted the door open.

Steve blinked back at her, standing in only flannel pajama bottoms in front of the mirror, and she glared back at him, arms crossed and ready for school. School, Steve almost choked on the idea.

“Earth to Billy?” she shook her red hair.

“Get out!” Steve gasped, finally able to use words in this foreign throat, he turned to her and fluttered his hands in a wild motion, “get out, get out!”

She closed the door to his sputtereing, thankfully leaving Steve alone in his spazzing.

Just a minute later he comes out, now wearing a long sleeve shirt and maybe clean jeans he found on the floor while tugging on a denim jacket. Steve knew he looked crazy but he dressed with his eyes closed.

“About time,” the same man, Billy’s father, growled out. Steve kept as far from him and the breakfast table as possible. He shimmied across the kitchen counters making a bee line for the door.

“Max, let’s get going... to school.” Steve almost couldn’t finish his sentence listening to another voice come out of his mouth.

Thankfully, Max jumped up and lead the way to the Camaro.

This, I think I can handle, he slid into the driver side of the Camaro and whistled. Running his hands up the steering wheel, before twisting the key and listening to her roar to life. Steve wasn’t noticing; well he was ignoring, the way Max was judging him from the corner of her eyes.

Steve’s plan was simple; just drop Max off and find Billy. Well, find his own body. When he pulled into the high school parking lot he thanked the gods for not making him work too hard.

There Billy was, or rather Steve was, leaned on the side of his burgundy BMW, wearing the same faded tshirt he wore to sleep with a pair of jeans slapped on, and nawing the end of a cigarette like it owed him money. Oh, ding ding.

Steve pulled up right next to him, already ruined with the idea of Steve Harrington out for everyone to see smoking in the parking lot. Trying not to remember the way he went to bed in that shirt, and only that shirt on.

“Hey, man,” Steve started as he climbed out of the Camaro, but that’s as far as he got before another’s voice interjected.

“Oh my god,” Steve turned to look and Billy stopped short his rage march over to look too. And there was Tommy, freckles the same as the night before; newly painted pink with a blush.

Billy caught his eyes with a worrisome flick, reading the same Steve felt, he knows and he knows something about it.

“Oh my god,” Tommy repeated. This time higher pitched as Billy shoved him hard into the steel blue metal of the Camaro.

“Spill it, Hagan. Obviously some really twisted shit is going down and I don’t like it.” Billy drawled the words low but loud into Tommy’s face. Steve was a little weirded out by watching his own body shove around his best friend, got even more weirded out when he noticed Tommy’s pink blush double.

“Spill what ever the fuck you know. You hear me, freckles!” Billy yelled in Steve’s voice.

“Yeah yeah, I just don’t know how to reply!” He tried in vain to shove Billy off, but the feral fighting spirit of Billy coupled with the inches Steve has on Tommy meant he didn’t budge. “Okay!” Tommy threw his hands up, looking between them two.

“Alight, I’ll tell you.” Tommy surrendered. Steve let his eye contact drop and didn’t really mean to focus on the way Tommy was straining hard againt the front of his jeans. Oh, that’s interesting.

Billy kept him pinned; let up just a little but didn’t move away. Billy didn’t style or even brush Steve’s hair this morning. Steve at least tried to finger comb Billy’s mane into something presentable, but Billy didn’t even try. So Steve’s hair was wild in all directions and unhinged. He looked angry, or fucked out... one of the two.

That idea sent a shiver down Steve’s spine.

“I did this. Last night.” Tommy started quietly, word by word. “I found a book in my basement, in my grandmas old stuff. And it was like... it promised to make...,” he trailed off.

Billy wasn’t satisfied. He shoved his arm, Steve’s body’s bony elbow, right up to Tommy’s throat. “You used a book? Are you some sort of black magic devil fucker? Some creepy Evil Dead shit?”

“What?!” Tommy squeaked.

Steve finally decided to step in. He pushed against his own body to relax a little, pulling his taught arms away, having Billy’s muscles helped with that. Billy sneered like a pissed lizard but he backed off Tommy.

“Just let him finish.” Steve said softly, and the weirdness of Billy’s voice being that soft coming out of his mouth was not ignored by anyone. Especially Billy himself who blushed a little, squirming in the hold Steve kept on one arm.

Tommy rubbed his throat, didn’t make eye contact again, but continued. “It was supposed to make you guys... get over yourselves.” Billy’s little excuse me?! From the side was kept in check by Steve’s hold on his arm. He leveled him with a sharp glare before turning back to Tommy.

“What does that mean?” He asked, super confused.

Tommy rolled his eyes. He shuffled, bit his lip, eyed up Steve’s body coiled tight ready to attack him again, before he continued. “You guys like each other. It’s so annoyingly obvious, like the worst kind of obvious. I just wanted to... help?”

Steve let his grip lax on Billy, and Billy stopped trying to claw his way out. They kept touching the other. Then slowly turned and saw matching wide eyed stares. This is not exactly how Steve wanted to confess, like telling your crush while he’s snarling pissed off and trapped inside of your own body you like him isn’t exactly romantic, holy shit. But he gave a weak smile anyways.

“It wasn’t that obvious, don’t be dramatic,” Steve was clutching onto the one shred of standards he could keep.

Billy sputtered a little, his tongue swiped out to lick his lips, but he gave a weak cocked smile. And shrugged. “I mean,” he was holding his smile; then he blinked a few times and the anger was back, “hold on, you fucking cursed us?”

Tommy backed himself into the side of the Camaro this time to get away from the anger in Billy’s voice. “It’s temporary! Totally, totally temporary! But- I can reverse it. I think? With my grandmas book.” Tommy was talking to his own shoes, nervous and blushing, and Steve noticed still quivering in the front of his jeans. Those jeans must be uncomfortable.

“Then let’s go,” Steve offered. He pulled against Billy’s arm towards the Camaro. Sliding the cold keys into his hand. Then flicked his eyes up to Tommy’s.

Billy was hesitant but he took the cue. Only stopping to fake lunge at Tommy once before he got in the drivers seat. Steve walked after him, he stopped to drag a hand over Tommy’s shoulder in a comforting way. Before he grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket and walked him to the passengers side.

“Let’s get this all sorted out in your basement, right? Then maybe if you don’t mess anything else up I’ll show you how thankful I am for all this soul revealing revelations shit.” Steve muttered.

Tommy couldn’t hide the smile on his face as he was shoved into the back seat and they speed off away from the high school.

[yanderewhims]

ohhhh this blog seems interesting! So I have a good idea for Hakubabe! So yandere!hakuryuu has a fem!so during the civil war (either his wife, or lover it doesn't matter) and she finds out she's pregnant with his baby, but since he had fallen in depravity and was being all dark, she felt like it wasn't a safe enviroment to have her child in so she tries to run away- then maybe Judal is able to sense it and tells Hakuryuu, so he ends up catching her? HCS/ or scenario is fine!

Judar you fucking snitch

this was so much fun to write guys, omg

tw: yandere, abuse, implied non-con, manipulation, abusive relationships

word count: 2.9k

The halls of the palace were dark— with only the dim light of the oil lantern she held in her hand to guide her way, [Name] keeps her footsteps as quiet as possible, careful not to make a sound. She didn’t want to alert the guards that patrolled the area at night. If they caught her outside of ‘her’ chambers at night again—well, his chambers, though he had tried many times to insist that it was their chambers now, ever since they had been married—and reported back to the emperor…she knew her ‘beloved’ husband would be far from pleased. 

And the punishment she would receive would not be pleasant at all.

She knew she was taking a huge risk— attempting to escape from him again, trying to free herself from his suffocating, possessive grip—but she had to get out of there. Because this time, it wasn’t about her sanity or life being on the line.

It was about the new life that was growing inside of her.

When she first found out she was carrying the newly crowned fourth emperor’s child, she had cried. She had cried and cried until there were no tears left; as soon as the words left the magician’s mouth, she had dismissed her maids from the room with after making them swear not to tell not one soul — especially the emperor— any word of what was discovered, wanting, needing so desperately to be alone. She had spent time pacing around, sobbing and nearly pulling her hair from her scalp, trying to place her thoughts together in her moment of panic.

No. Nononononono—this wasn’t supposed to happen, it had to be some grave mistake, she had thought. She couldn’t be pregnant–not now, not with his child! She couldn’t be, she couldn’t do this…

Not after what he had done to her. 

Though their wedding had been a grand and spontaneous ceremony, with her being forced to wear the mask of a dutiful, loving and happy bride, on the inside she was anything but that. She wanted to run far, far away from Kou, away from this war, away from him and his depravity, and have a taste of the freedom and she had been denied. And she was going to do so that night, when all was said and done.

But he had other plans.

That night, just as she was plotting her escape after freeing herself from her ceremonial wedding robes, he had called for her to come to his chambers, not to wish her goodnight and sweet dreams— but to consummate their marriage.

And what kind of wife would she be if she denied her husband and king his husbandly rights?

A terrible one, for sure— but it’s not like she cared about that, none of this had been her choice anyway.

She had refused him; that had been her first mistake. 

Because no matter how much she refused, how many times she said ‘no’, he didn’t listen. No matter how she pleaded and begged him not to do what he had done, he still took what he wanted anyways. 

Even though he had been gentle, even though he repeatedly told her how much he 'loved’ her, it didn’t make things less horrific for her. She knew this wasn’t out of love, but out of his sick desire to claim her as his own. And now she was truly his, not just in name, but in body as well.

She had felt disgusted with herself and at that point she knew, she had to escape him, no matter what. It had all been too much; at first the possessiveness, the need he had for her to always be by his side at all times, the jealousy, the refusal to allow her near any other man he saw as a threat, how the guard she had befriended mysteriously ended up missing only to be found dead days later, and now this— she had to leave.

Of course all attempts to escape had ended up in failure, with him catching her and dragging her back to Kou kicking and screaming, where he would deliver harsh punishment that was sure to keep her in check.

She had began to grow tired, with each failure. The deeper he fell into madness and depravity,  the more her spirit became broken, the will slowly drained from her. This was her fate, to be stuck within the smothering grasp of Hakuryuu Ren. And she began to accept it…that is, until she discovered she was with child. 

For some odd reason, be it cruel irony,  immediately, despite the way he had been conceived, she had begun to love her child, already forming that maternal instinct to protect him. And because of that, it had led to her where she currently was that moment—on her way to leave Kou for good.

She could not bring a child into such a broken country, torn by violence and war. Hakuryuu had split the country into two the moment he killed Ren Gyokuen and demanded the head of Ren Kouen, and with that depraved fallen magi at his side, the situation was bound to worsen.

Her child deserved better—he deserved to grow up happy and safe under a stable home, without the fear of war and terror. And she would do what she had to do in order to give that life to him.

Even if it meant risking her life, going against her mad husband. 

And this time, nothing would stop her. Nothing at all—

“Well,well, look who’s out wandering about so late! Does Hakuryuu know that his precious wife is out of her room without his permission again?” The moment the sly, taunting voice reached her ears, [name] felt irritation trickle at her insides, inwardly cursing. Why? Why of all people did it have to be him? At this very moment?

Taking a deep breath, the empress slowly turns to face the dark magi, who stood in the dark of the halls, toned arms on his slender hips, staring down at her with a wicked smirk across his face.

“Judar,” she spoke coldly, not bothering to hide her disdain for the man. “To whom do I owe the displeasure?”

Faking a dramatic gasp, the magi places a hand on his chest, mockingly looking offended. “Well, that’s not very nice of you to speak to me that way! Most people would be honored to be in my presence! And I came over here to see you after all!”

“If you came for the purpose of pestering me, then I’m afraid your presence is not wanted at all.”

“How rude! Honestly, I just don’t understand why Hakuryuu is so obsessed with you. Well… perhaps I can understand one thing.” At that comment, he shamelessly eyes her form up and down with a rather perverse grin, and [name] can’t hide the look of utter disgust that crosses her face.

 "Anyways, I’m bored. And since our beloved emperor is just too busy with all that emperor bullshit, I decided I’d pay my favorite little empress a visit! It’s not like you’d be busy or anything. I mean, Hakuryuu never lets you out your room without his supervision anyways!“ He lets out a cackle, a sound sickening to her stomach. “And that’s when I noticed you weren’t in your room…” He trailed off.

He steps closer, suspicion apparent in his crimson gaze. “Now—what are you doing out so late? Trying to escape again? Are you that dumb or have you not learned your lesson from the last time you tried?”

His question didn’t come out of a place of concern or even curiosity, no, not Judar. Being the twisted individual he is and enjoying other people’s suffering, he did it out of a place of amusement. He was fully aware of what Hakuryuu had done to her in the past, of what he would do to her should he catch her trying to escape him again, knowing of the pain he would cause her.

And it made him gleeful. 

She tries to keep her stare steady, because she can’t lose her resolve now, not when she’s so close. “I am simply going out for fresh air in the gardens, not that it is any of your concern.”

“Dressed like that? With a bag?“ 

Shit. She hadn’t done a very good job of making it less obvious, with the satchel she had packed full of money and extra clothes showing through her dark cloak. But she had to make haste and get out of the palace and quickly as possible. She didn’t pay that detail to mind, and now it would possibly jeopardize her plan.

"Is there a certain way an empress must dress for a simple walk in the garden?”

“There is if she wants to make what she’s planning to do less obvious, idiot.” Judar began to laugh, and if it got any louder he would wake the entirety of Rakushou. “Ah, so you are trying to run away again, ahahaha! You really are fucking dumb! Oh, that’s just rich! Wait til’ I tell Hakuryuu, boy is he gonna be pis—” He suddenly paused as if something had hit him. Narrowing his eyes, Judar tilts his head, closely observing the shaking woman as if he had noticed something odd.

“Huh…the rukh around you is acting really strange for some reason …”

It’s only a few seconds of silence before he speaks again, but to the ever anxious [name], who wanted nothing more than to turn and run straight to the palace doors and out, it’s a long, grueling eternity. 

“No way…” his eyes widened with shock, mouth dropping open. “...you’re pregnant? With Hakuryuu’s brat?" 

Nonononononono—

Her heart pounding with fear, tears forming in her eyes. Filled with nothing but terror, the empress backs away slowly as the magi’s shocked expression morphs into that of glee. 

"Holy shit, you are pregnant! And you were also trying to escape with Hakuryuu’s kid! Ha!” Adrenaline suddenly overtakes her as she suddenly turns and takes off running down the hall as fast her feet will allow her, trying to shut out the sound of Judar’s maniacal laughter from behind her. “Man, he is going to be so pissed! He might actually kill you this time! HEY HAKURYUU, YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS WIFE— ”

She doesn’t pay mind to that, and she doesn’t pay mind the servants and guards who cry out in alarm as their empress rushes past them. The doors are right there,  so close and in her reach, just a few steps and she—

The fresh air hits her like a wave crashing against the sandy shore. It’s freezing cold, but it feels so good! And as much as she wishes she could sit there and enjoy the night breeze and take in the sight of the beautiful outside world, she didn’t have the time for that.

Rushing to the horse stables [name] mounts her tall, white horse that Hakuryuu had gifted her as a wedding present, and quickly orders it to gallop away, leading it into the deep forests of Kou, becoming masked by the tall trees to where it was difficult for the soldiers that were running after her to keep sight of their empress. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been hours since her escape, and as exhausted, hungry, and anxious as she was, [name] had never felt so relieved in her life.

She was free! Her plan had actually worked for the most part; her last attempt, she didn’t even make it to the outside of the capital before Hakuryuu caught her and dragged her back. But by now, she was far from the capital and had just made it off the border of Kou— where she was going, she wasn’t quite sure, but did know she was going to a place for from the hell that she had been forced to call 'home’. She would find a better one, a new home for her child so she could raise him peacefully. 

She pondered her options as she roasted raw meat over a fire she had built. Maybe she could find and meet up with Aladdin and the others and travel with them again? She hadn’t seen them in so long, she had missed them all quite a bit. Or maybe she can go to Sindria and raise her baby there… It was a prosperous and peaceful country, always jolly and never ravaged by any war. It was the perfect place to live and finally be happy, and she would never have to—

A sudden rustling of the trees around the area she rested startled her from her thoughts. 

Holding her breath, she scanned the area around, looking for the source of that noise. The forest was rather vacant, she had not seen any type of animal in sight, save for a few squirrels running about, here and there. But squirrels couldn’t have made a noise like that. 

Maybe it was just the wind?

Swallowing the bit of anxiety that had stirred, she turns her attention back on her task, but another rustling sound, this one much closer. Then another. And another. 

Then, the echo of a familiar, galloping sound. Horses. The crunching of leaves and twigs.

Footsteps. 

“I see smoke over there! Scout the area!”

Her heart drops in her stomach, and soon she’s scrambling up to put out the fire and gathering her items as quick as possible, nearly stumbling as she hops on the horse and quietly orders it to move, softly treading the opposite direction of the forest to where they couldn’t hear her.

No. They couldn’t possibly have— he couldn’t possibly have found her already. Not when she had gotten so far, so free. She knew her husband was most likely aware of her escape and the fact that she was carrying his child by now and hot on her trail, but he couldn’t have caught up to her exact location so fast, right?

When she was further away out of sight, she ordered her horse to move faster. Faster and faster until she was zooming pass the trees at a speed that was probably too much for the poor thing, the site behind her as she made her way towards the exit of the forest. Close. She was so close, she couldn’t give up now.

Not when she was so close to freedom. 

The horse suddenly began to stop, its quick galloping becoming slow steps, causing [name] great panic. Please, let the gods be on her side this one time!

“No, no, buddy, don’t stop please. You must  keep going, we must keep going!” She does her best to gently encourage the animal, unable to keep the tremor from showing in her voice. “Come on, we’re almost there! Keep going, please keep going!”

But the horse lets out a whine, and comes to a halt, it’s strong legs collapsing beneath itself as it falls to the ground from exhaustion, taking her with it.

[name] wanted to scream.

But she couldn’t unless she wanted to give herself away— there was still time to escape! She just had to travel on foot now, and sadly leave the horse behind. It would be fine.

Yet… had she paid close attention, she would have noticed the thick green vines come to life around the horse, wrapping themselves around him tightly, she would have known to give up by then, as it was now fruitless.

'I’m not going to give up.’ She repeated the words of encouragement to herself as she stood up, brushing herself off. ’I’m not going to give up.' 

'I’m not going to give up.’

“I’m not going to give-”  She turned around, ready to make a run for it, only for a clawed hand to grip her arm tightly and roughly turn her around to where she was met with cold, angry crimson eyes. 

She didn’t even have time to react before her world went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold.

That was the first thing she noticed when she had awoken, was not just the feeling of the ice, cold room she was in, but the feeling of something cold and hard pressed against her skin.

Where was she? Had she escaped?

Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she attempts to sit up to stretch, but finds herself unable to move— and that’s when she realizes just what that cold and hard feeling was.

Chains.

Heavy, metal chains that were secured tightly around her wrists and ankles, restraining her to the wall of the dimly lit room, preventing any form of escape. 

"Ah, so you’ve finally awaken, my love.”

No.

Immediately, she begins to struggle, squirming, crying out and pulling at the chains attempting to break free, but no luck. She keeps her gaze on the ground, refusing to look up at him as his footsteps come closer and closer until they come to a stop. He knelt down to her level, his cold, pale hands reaching under her chin and cupping it, lifting it and forcing her to meet his mismatched blue eyes.

“Struggling will only make it worse, dearest. You don’t want to tire yourself out anymore, do you? After all, we’ve had quite the long trip back.” Though Hakuryuu’s voice held warmth, and his handsome face painted with a soft smile, his eyes told a different story. 

It was as if they were pure ice, sending chills down her spine, and beneath that ice was a pure, boiling fury that had not yet reached the surface. She could only imagine what her punishment would be this time— would he hurt her in that way again? Whipping? Torture? 

There was no way out of this now. She really was trapped with him, forever.

But why? Why wouldn’t he let her go? Why was he so intent on keeping her here with him? What was so special about her that he wanted only her?

After a long period of silence, Hakuryuu finally spoke, lowly, calmly. “You know, dearest…I hate that we’ve even had to come to this. And you were behaving so well, too. ” He toys with a strand of her unruly hair, twirling it around his finger. She swallows, bracing herself for whatever came next. “…You had finally stopped fighting me, you didn’t try to escape anymore…I thought you were finally beginning to return my love. That you were finally happy with me.”

He stands up and slowly walks over to the corner of the room where she can’t quite see, a place not lit by the oil lantern that hung near the entrance. Her breath was stuck in her throat and her heart pounded wildly against her chest. She had no idea at all what he had in store for her, but she knew this would not end up well for her.

“And just as I was beginning to trust you enough to allow you your freedom, you go and do this.” Now, she could hear the rage in his voice, and it frightened her to the point of tears, already was she beginning to regret her reckless decision. She had been so stupid. “Not only did you try to escape, yet again—” he appears from the shadows, and fear blossoms throughout her body as she notices his metal vessel which he tightly gripped in his hand.

“—but you did so knowing that you were carrying a child—my child.”  He was talking through gritted teeth, as if trying to keep his anger down. His other fist was clenched so tightly that blood began to drip down onto the floor.

“Hakuryu—”

“Shut up!” His voice thundered throughout the room, and immediately she did so, not wanting to anger him even further. “ I don’t want to hear your excuses! After all I have done for you—I take care of you, I give you everything your heart desires, I do all I can do to make you happy—and this is how you repay me?” 

Tears are falling down her face, shrinking away from his rage, wanting to curl up into a little ball as if she were a small child. “I’m sorry,” she chokes on her sobs, staring up at him through moist eyes. “I’m sorry, Hakuryuu. I promise I won’t try to escape again.”

“I know you won’t.” She jumps when she feels his hand running through her hair, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face, as if the tantrum he just threw never happened. “Because I have a way to ensure that you will stay by my side…no matter what.” With that, the symbol on his weapons begin to glow.

That could only mean one thing.

“No,” she begins to thrash around in her chains, attempting to get away from him. “No, Hakuryuu, please. Please not this, anything but this!”

“I’m sorry, dearest,” he wipes away her tears with his thumb and easily halts her futile attempt to escape. “ You know I hate having to hurt you…but this is the only way I can assure that you never run away from me again.”

He points the blade of his weapon against her head, and she continues to struggle with all the strength she had, until her struggles slowly came to a stop as she fell into unconsciousness.

He catches her in his arms, cradling her form, leaning and pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead, placing a hand on her stomach—where his child grew. “It is the only way that I can make sure you stay with me...forever.”

~~~~~~

Paperwork had to be Hakuryuu’s least favorite part about being emperor. Everyday he would come into his office and sigh at the seemingly endless stack of papers that lay on his desk, awaiting his signature.

He was halfway through the stack when a sudden knock on his door came. “Enter!” 

He looked up to see who interrupted his work, only to smile at the sight of his beautiful wife, who came in carrying a tray of tea and cakes. “Hello love,” she smiled and walked forward,  placing the tray down before walking around the desk and placing a kiss on his cheek. “You’ve been working so hard today, I figured you could use a snack. I hope you don’t mind me bothering you.”

Smiling, Hakuryuu reached for her and pulled her into his lap, placing a kiss on her shoulder as she giggled, a sound music to his ears. “Do not worry about it, dearest. You know you could never bother me.” He places a hand on the swell of her swollen belly, growing bigger and bigger with his child each passing day, before pulling her into a kiss.

It breaks after a few seconds, and he pulls away, looking lovingly into her beautiful eyes—her beautiful, vacant eyes— as he grabs a cake off the tray and brings it close to her mouth, and she eagerly takes a bite.

This was one of the things he enjoyed most about his days—his beloved wife to coming to visit him after a long day, carrying a plate of treats and spending time with him. No meetings, no bothersome magi interrupting them, just the two of them together.

He takes a bite out of the cake she had offered to him, running a hand through her long [h/c] locks, mindful of the claw-root that sprouted from her temple.

fin. 

[hongism]

finding beauty in your darkest places - chapter 8

Pairing: TBA (i have no clue at the moment, ot7 for now)

Genre: Psychiatric Clinic!au, Heavy Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 6094

Warnings: strong language; deals with mental and emotional illnesses and disorders as a heavy theme of the story, future graphic depictions of disorders - please do not read if this makes you uncomfortable

Chapter specific warnings: discussions of character death, graphic depictions of anxiety attacks, discussion of suicidal thoughts and actions

Rating: PG-13/Mature

Summary: Everyone has their issues, and everyone deals with them differently. Jungkook thinks that avoiding his problems is the best option out there.

aka

Jeon Jungkook is the newest patient at the Omelas Specialized Psychiatric Clinic, and he just wants to get in and out as quickly as possible so that he can go back to university and be with his friends again. Of course, that doesn't work out according to his plan.

a/n: hello hello this is somewhat of a surprise chapter because i didn’t have this on the schedule or planned in my mind really. However, i find it easiest to write my feelings and since i’ve been feeling down recently, this chapter was easier to write and i felt more inspired to work on it. It’s also been quite some time since i posted, and for that i am hugely and immensely sorry. time slipped away from me and i put this story on the backburners of my mind for too long.

Also, this chapter contains a small surprise for my boo @maptoyoongi​ bc Mari has been so helpful and kind and lovely about helping me with this story and supporting me big time when it comes to this story. I never feel as though it’s enough to just say thank you and i wanted a way to thank you in a special way ;-; even now, i don’t feel as though this is enough to say thank you <3

(it’s been so long that this is the first time i’m actually using the tag list omg)

tag list: @succulentjinkook​ @mxrzan​

7 | 8 | 9

Finding Beauty in Your Darkest Places

Chapter 8: Black Waters

It's cold. The edges of autumn have seeped their way into the clinic, bringing brown and red leaves to the trees around the basketball court, and the season is windier than usual. A gust of wind passes over Jungkook's body. He doesn't brace himself against the breeze despite being in a typical short sleeved white shirt. Rather he remains where he is, sprawled out in the middle of the basketball court and staring up at the clouded sky with an equally clouded mind.

Cold.

Everything is cold. His fingers are never warm anymore, the cold seeping to his palms on occasion. Part of Jungkook knows that he should be worried. It's a concern, maybe a serious health concern in fact, and yet...nothing.

Cold.

Jungkook would rather be cold.

"For the longest time, I only saw that reflection when I looked in the mirror. It took a long time to separate Kim Namjoon from the disorders the doctors labelled me with. What do you see in the mirror, Jungkook? Do you know who you are or do you just take the labels doctors give you? Are you “Jeon Jungkook, Panic Disorder” or someone else?"

Who is he? According to the voices scampering through his head without rest, he's a number of things. Loser, asshole, trash, garbage, piece of shit, dirty, crazy, a disappointment. A liar. Jeon Jungkook is a dirty fucking liar, and he knows that to be the truth.

The worst thing he could do is dwell on the past. Think about all the ways in which he wronged Taehyung, you, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hyewon, maybe every patient in the clinic. His brother...mom...father. Jungkook's head begins to tingle, a faint sensation starting in the back of his skull and quickly travelling to the space between his eyes.

“It’s far better to know people for their heart and not their mind. A person’s mind can be fucked up and distorted. But the kind of person they are, what they do for others, how they treat others — that all tells you much more. We are all souls with a house of flesh and bones, wrestling with a mind that is not our own. For some people it gets to be too much. They just want out of the cage they feel trapped in, and society is the one keeping them there. They don’t see their body as anything good, it’s only a trapped feeling, and sometimes they try to get out. They try to get rid of a certain part of themselves, kill the mind that isn’t completely theirs.”

Namjoon's words stay with Jungkook and cling to the loose bits of his brain only to eat away like a parasite. Kill the mind that isn't completely theirs. In the first few days after that conversation with Namjoon, Jungkook wanted nothing more than to do just that. It would have been so easy, so quick and painless, he could've just done it. Should have. And yet, he lives to see the clouded sky another day, back cold from the pressure of the concrete under him, and surprisingly at peace with being alive.

Nevermind the nagging voices in his mind telling him he's a coward who can't kill himself properly. Jungkook is content.

His birthday came and went without any celebration, which is exactly what he had wanted. None of his family came to visit before or after the day of his birthday, and when each Sunday ended without their presence, Jungkook found that he was not upset in the slightest.

At peace.

Such a strange concept.

When has Jungkook ever felt at peace with anything in his life? Where did this sensation come from? Namjoon's understanding and endless wise words provided relief, yes, but Jungkook wouldn't go so far as to say that they put his fears and anxieties to rest. They haven't gone anywhere. They're just...quiet, but not in a relaxing or easing sense. Jungkook flips between being content and on edge throughout the day constantly. Because it feels like they're waiting. Waiting for something, the drop of a pin, the perfect trigger, the slightest misstep.

On edge may be an understatement.

Dr. Martin requested that Jungkook begin to attend group therapy sessions at his last meeting with the doctor. The idea, in and of itself, sounds like a cruel form of torture for a person like Jungkook -- one still wrestling with the weight of what's wrong with him, the issues swirling through his body and mind.

It will be beneficial, the doctor had said.

Jungkook mentally called bullshit. How could it be? A sit down chat with other patients where he has to talk about himself and his struggles? Fuck that. Jungkook would rather have a fork stuck through the back of his hand. Besides, another huge concern that looms in the back of Jungkook's mind is that Taehyung may be at one of these sessions.

The two are still doing a fantastic job of avoiding each other, and considering they are roommates, Jungkook is impressed they've been able to keep it up this long as it is. But he can't run away when trapped in a room for a group therapy session. He has to sit there and take it, facing the person whose trust he broke, whose relationship he ruined, and whose condition has regressed dramatically in the past few days.

All my fault. My fault. I did that. It was me.

Jungkook's eyes flutter shut, blocking the sky from his view and letting the blackness behind his eyelids sweep over him.

"We need to talk."

Jimin had caught Jungkook by the arm after breakfast two days ago and uttered those four words, eyes narrowed and expression grim. For a moment, Jungkook had thought that he did something wrong or something to upset Jimin. Of course he did, he single-handedly destroyed Taehyung, but Jimin was not angry. His expression softened a moment later, and he had said that he wants to help fix things.

Again, Jungkook mentally called bullshit.

"Fix things". A load of bullshit by itself, but also something that Namjoon said was unnecessary. Fix what? The countless problems Jungkook has caused since arriving in the clinic? Or fix Taehyung himself?

Jimin never approached Jungkook after that, however, which left Jungkook to wonder when the older man is going to approach him, if he does at all. He certainly isn't going to be the one who makes an effort to bring the topic up with Jimin.

Jungkook sits up on the pavement, eyes snapping open again, and he blinks at the intrusion of light through the clouds above. With a quick glance at his watch, Jungkook scrambles to his feet and rushes for the door. His group therapy session starts in two minutes, and the room is on the other side of the clinic. Moving quickly, Jungkook manages to sprint over to where Dr. Martin's office lies, coincidentally across from the room where group therapy sessions are held. The door lies cracked open, and through the small space, Jungkook can see multiple forms already seating inside. No voices arise from the room, however, so Jungkook can at least rest in the knowledge that he isn't late.

That peace of mind dissipates the moment he steps through the door. There Taehyung sits, directly across from the door in a rickety plastic chair. He stares forward and locks eyes with Jungkook as soon as the door moves. Both men freeze, stare at each other with eyes growing wider with each passing second. Panic.

Jungkook's brain is firing warning signals everywhere, the cold in his fingertips grows to a dull ache, and he curls his fingers into his palm under the skin almost breaks. Panic.

Taehyung's face relaxes into a deadpan expression, wide eyes returning to a hooded gaze. Jungkook glances at the people on either side of him, Hyewon on one side with her platinum blonde hair that blends in too much with the white of the clinic around her, and Eunbi on his other side. Both girls wear similar expressions, but when Hyewon makes eye contact with Jungkook, she beams brightly at him. Jungkook offers his own weak smile in response but it doesn't linger. Rather, he steps around the circle of chairs and moves to the seat across from the girl, one beside Seokjin, who seems about as happy to be here as Jungkook is.

"Hi, Seokjin."

Jungkook's greeting is met with a small grunt rather than words, which catches the younger off-guard. Seokjin never fails to be bright and cheerful, chatty even when no one else seems to be in the mood to talk. The Seokjin before Jungkook now is not the one he knows, not in the slightest, and that realization itself sends a chill down the back of his neck.

"Good afternoon everyone!"

A bright and warm voice intrudes on the silence of the room. Jungkook glances up, eyes finding the door again and spotting a young woman dressed in a set of pale blue scrubs. Her smile is too bright, a foreign expression from a nurse at the clinic, and Jungkook almost hazards a guess that she's faking it. However as she steps further into the room, her grin remains. She wastes no time in coming to sit at the last available chair one seat over from Jungkook.

"I'm seeing a few new faces today. First of all, I'm so happy to see that and welcome. I hope that we are able to help you all and this session offers you some peace from the harshness of what's inside your head. Secondly, I'll introduce myself for those of you who may not know me. My name is Dr. Mari, I take care of the group therapy sessions here at the clinic. Would you please each introduce yourselves so that everyone can know each other's names? Oh, also share one interesting fact about yourself! A simple icebreaker to help keep the tension at bay." Dr. Mari motions to the girl sitting on her right, asking her to start wordlessly.

"I'm Hanuel and um, I-I like dogs?" The girl shrugs a bit after her introduction. Seeing her fidget in her seat, eyes wavering and not meeting anyone else's in the room, and the sheer expression of panic across her face as she introduces herself sends Jungkook's mind into a panic of its own. He grips the fabric of his sweatpants tight between his fingers, knuckles white from the force of his grip, and the rapidly accelerating drumming of his heartbeat in his ears begins to resound. His mind shuts down in that moment, blocking out sensory functioning and clouding all his judgement with the constant rhythm of panic in his body.

Before he can stop it, the anxiety attack washes over him like a tsunami. Cold, even colder than before, yet hot at the same time. His throat is burn, skin scalding around his neck, and he's almost certain that his face looks much like a tomato at this point. Jungkook knows what comes next. The distortion, the confusion, pain -- oh so much pain.

Idiot. Dumb fucking idiot. Why did you think it was a good idea to come here? You think you're normal compared to these people? No, look at you. Look at you barely functioning. Dumb fucking idiot. Worthless, I told you you were worthless.

Can't fucking kill yourself properly?

At least do it like you mean it, you worthless disappointment.

Jungkook sinks. The water plunges over him, filling his lungs and throat with black water that freezes his insides. He's thrashing, fighting to get out, but to no avail.

Jungkook has been here before. This is familiar. A hand closes around his throat, and he can no longer breathe. It's familiar.

Something wakes him up from the reverie, well someone to be more specific. A hand comes down on his thigh, and Jungkook jerks his whole body, finding the culprit staring at him with wide eyes. It's Seokjin. The fingers that close around his thigh simultaneously pull him from the depths of the black water in his mind. He nods twice. Jungkook takes the hint and glances around the room, seeing waiting expressions.

"Oh, uh, I'm Jeon Jungkook...the--the newest patient here."

Dr. Mari offers a soft smile, her eyes twinkling as she does. "We're so happy to have you here, Mr. Jeon. Thank you for coming." Jungkook nods a few times in response. He fights to gain control over his breathing again as the girl on his right introduces herself. Seokjin's grip gradually lessens until Jungkook doesn't feel the pressure of his touch any longer, and when he glances down to where the man's hand had just been, he swears the skin tingles with lingering warmth.

"We will open the discussion today as usual. Remember anyone can jump in and talk, there doesn't need to be any specific order, and you don't have to speak if you don't feel comfortable doing so. Hopefully it's helpful to some extent and encouraging to hear others open up in front of you. Now, how are each of feeling today?"

Silence meets Dr. Mari's question. A moment passes when each patient glances around the circle as though pleading another to speak up and make some sort of conversation, but no one does. Dr. Mari remains quiet and patient though, eyes soft as she glances over the patients before her.

"W-Well..." It's Eunbi who starts up the discussion, her voice quiet and hesitant. She doesn't continue her train of thought, at which point, Dr. Mari nods at her.

"Go ahead, dear."

"Well, I've been feeling down and distracted recently. Um, Miyeon might be leaving soon. I-I'm really happy that she is getting better and could leave shortly, but...and I know it's a selfish thought, but I don't want to see her leave. She's my best friend, and she's always been here for me. I don't know what it'll be like to not have her here. She--she helps keep everything in check, keeps all the pieces glued together, so I'm scared. I'm sc-scared about what might happen if she leaves." Dr. Mari hums as Eunbi finishes speaking.

"Does anyone have any advice or words for Eunbi?"

Taehyung doesn't hesitate. He leans forward, quick to offer some sort of reassurance with his words. "Jimin and I will always be here for you. Even if she does leave, we'll still be here." Eunbi smiles at Taehyung, not saying another word and instead shifting her gaze to the floor. Silence creeps into the circle once more. Dr. Mari waits a few moments before cutting the quiet with words of her own.

"Seokjin, you're being awfully quiet today. Is anything in particular on your mind?" Jungkook follows the doctor's gaze to Seokjin.

"No, it's just that I was up late last night talking with my roommate," he explains. "We were having a chat and it ended up being a lot longer than anticipated, so I went to bed very late."

"I understand, that's alright. Why don't you each tell me about one thing that made you happy this week? Seokjin, we'll start with you if you don't mind."

"That's perfectly fine. Um, I spent a lot of time in the library with Namjoon this week. I was able to make it through almost half of a book without getting detached. I remembered most of the content too, so I was happy to finally able to talk through things with Namjoon after reading the book. I haven't been able to do that in a long time."

Eunbi picks up after Seokjin, talking about something related to Miyeon, but Jungkook doesn't pay the words much attention. Dr. Mari's question lingers in his mind. What made you happy? Jungkook doesn't need to think for long because his answer is nothing. If there was anything that made him happy, it's been blocked out and erased by the bad memories. Nothing. It sounds too depressing in Jungkook's mind, and he's sure that if he were to admit that out loud, Dr. Mari would talk to the doctors about his condition. Maybe he'd get new pills, new therapy, more appointments, more and more pointless diagnoses that aren't entirely accurate simply because it's what works best for the system.

"And you, Jungkook?" Dr. Mari cuts through his thoughts.

Maybe it's best that way. Take more and more pills until you're a husk of a human being. Then they won't ask if you're happy.

"Nothing good happened to me this week," Jungkook says without looking up at the doctor. He expects to hear her sigh and click her tongue against the roof of her mouth as a show of disappointment. Neither sound comes.

"Did anything at all make you happy?" She inquires instead.

"No." Jungkook dares to glance up, finding Taehyung's eyes across the room, and the other man wears an expression of sadness for a moment.

"I understand," Dr. Mari says in a quiet voice. Her tone remains level and soft as she consoles him. "It can be tough to have a week like that. But know that things will get better. Whether it happens today, tomorrow, in three weeks or three years -- this will pass, and you will be better and stronger because of it. We're here to help along the way and support you when you don't feel like you can do it by yourself any longer. Now, I would like for you all to share one thing that made you upset this week. Jungkook, would it be alright if you started? You seem to have a lot on your mind, so I'd like to talk through that some if you don't mind." Jungkook's eyes flit over to the doctor. He expects to see the cold and retrained expression that always covers Dr. Martin's face, or the slight look of disdain from some of the nurses, but he sees neither. Rather, Dr. Mari blinks back at him with brows furrowed, gaze soft, and expression reading pure concern. Something about her expression eases Jungkook's mind.

"I'm not sure where to start."

"That's alright, you can just say whatever comes to mind first if you'd rather."

"I...I had a falling out with someone." Jungkook shifts in his seat, daring to look in Taehyung's direction. They meet eyes for a second, then Taehyung ducks his head and refuses to look at him any longer.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Jungkook debates it, considers telling the truth and being honest for once. Just once, he really wants to be honest. He wants to get it off his chest, be open, but to do it in front of these people? People he doesn't know well, some people he doesn't care to know and vice versa, people who could use this against him. Yet Dr. Mari's expression of interest and concern compels him to speak.

"We had a disagreement, and I didn't consider how my actions would affect him mentally or emotionally. I...it's selfish, but I don't want to be responsible for harming him or the relationships he has with others."

"Do you feel bitter at all? Towards that person?" Jungkook jerks his head to find the source of the question. Taehyung's eyes are on him once more, eyes wide, and teeth gnawing his lower lip now that he's put the question out in the air.

"No, not at all," Jungkook admits. Taehyung dips his head. "I just--well, I feel guilty, I guess, for hurting the other person. I wish I could explain that to him but it seems like he's avoiding me. I want a chance to ask for forgiveness, but I don't feel like I deserve it."

"Why would you think you don't deserve a chance for forgiveness?" Dr. Mari asks.

"It feels a bit like I've hurt him too much to be forgiven."

"Maybe...maybe the other person overreacted some because he didn't know how to handle the information," Taehyung speaks up again. "And maybe he isn't upset with you, but he said some hurtful things that shouldn't have been said."

"Taehyung is right. Communication is key, especially when it comes to disagreements. I encourage you to talk with the person again and maybe explaining the situation a bit more will help. That may also help you have better days and find more happiness in things." Jungkook nods along with Dr. Mari's words. "Thank you for sharing, Jungkook. Would anyone else like to share?"

"Um, I-I would," Taehyung pipes up again. He fidgets in his seat before speaking again, a small sniffle accompanying his movements. "I, uh, I called my mom earlier in the week. She said...she said my grandmother passed away. I-I don't know why, but she helped raise me and has always been there for me no matter what. I wish--I wish that I could have been there for her before this happened. It doesn't feel fair."

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Taehyung. I understand how much she meant to you and how it must be very hard for you to handle while being at the clinic. It must be very hard for everyone here. It's hard to feel as though there is no way out, no way to see family and friends, and live your own life. Everything you do is under watch, someone is there with you, you're required to follow all these regulations and rules. While, yes, they are meant to help your betterment and assure safety, it must feel very suffocating at times. However, each of you has come to this place together, all suffering and struggling with similar things, and you are with each other at the same time for a reason. You should be a beacon of hope and a light at the end of the tunnel for each other. When something bad happens, rather than stepping away from each other, you should step towards one another. Be there for each other and treat this place as a new home. While it may be a temporary one, it is an important one. This is a place where you can have a new family, not a replacement per se, but a family full of people who know what you go through each and every day and understand how you feel.

"I understand each of you may have qualms with each other or with the staff here at the clinic. It can be hard to feel surrounded by people who seem not to care about you or want you to get better, but I assure you there are people who want to help here. Whether it be a doctor or a nurse or a patient, people want to see you be better and stronger, to return to your life outside the clinic.

"Everyone is at the clinic for a reason. Obviously you each know that, the patients are here for their specific reasons. The reason I came to the clinic, however, is because I wanted to make a difference and be a person who could help in some way. When I was your age, I didn't have anyone to rely on or go to when I struggled. For many years, I struggled alone, and it was the most terrifying experience of my life. I'm here to make sure that each of you don't have to feel that way, to give you an option, a choice to not be alone. I love seeing progress in each of you, and growth, but I adore seeing you grow and rely on each other to get better. Medication can only do so much. There has to be a change in the heart and in the mind in order to overcome your struggles. That is what I want to see as a doctor here. I want to see patients come together and help each other because we doctors and the nurses lack in many areas. You can do so much more for each other since you understand each other. Now, I will leave you all with that thought for the day. Thank you for coming, thank you to our newcomers, and you're free to leave now."

Jungkook moves to get up, but a hand clamps down on his leg, keeping him planted to the seat. He looks to the man on his left in confusion. Seokjin doesn't say a word, nor does he even spare Jungkook a glance, and he keeps staring forward at the floor in silence. Dr. Mari is the first to stand, followed by a few of the female patients, while Taehyung lingers in his seat as well. A few moments later, the room is empty except for Taehyung, Seokjin, and Jungkook. There doesn't seem to be any reasoning behind why they're lingering, and Jungkook can only blink between the other two in wonder. Taehyung won't take his eyes off Jungkook, lips slightly parted as though he's about to say something. Words never come.

A minute passes, then two, then three in silence. There's an itch under Jungkook's skin now, the anxiety crawling its way back into his system. Then, a creaking noise rises, and Taehyung stands up. He heads for the door without saying or doing anything, leaving Jungkook to wonder what the hell just happened. Once Taehyung is out of sight, Seokjin releases a deep breath.

"Did something happen between you and Taehyung?" He asks.

"No." The answer comes a bit too quickly, perhaps the lie is too transparent, and Seokjin can see straight through him. "Nothing happened. Everything's fine." Jungkook ought to stop talking, he's only digging the hole deeper at this point. He won't be able to drawl out of it once Seokjin catches on that it's a lie, but luckily enough, Seokjin makes a noise of approval.

"Sorry for bothering you. I just--it seemed--I most likely misread things. I make too many assumptions anyways, according to Yoongi at least."

"Ah, no! Don't worry, it's fine." Jungkook rushes to reassure the older man, and Seokjin smiles back in gratitude as he does. "Would it...be alright if I asked you a few questions actually?"

"Oh, me? That's fine. Ask away!" Seokjin grins at Jungkook, the lines around his mouth and nose scrunching up with the gesture.

"How long have you been at the clinic?"

"Hm, I think it's been about a year for me now. Might seem strange, since Namjoon, Yoongi, and Y/N have been here for a lot longer."

"How did you start talking with them then? Or become friends, I mean." Seokjin leans back in his chair, squinting at the ceiling.

"Well, Y/N was the person who showed me around the ward at the time. Back then, she was a lot less bright and happy." Jungkook does at double-take at the words.

"She doesn't seem bright or happy at all now," he scoffs.

"It used to be a lot worse. I have no clue why, but she was absolutely hellish back then. Even so, I found her interesting and I was grateful that she showed me around, so I kinda just pushed myself into her life. After I found out that Yoongi was my roommate, I thought it was sort of meant to be? That sounds odd and cliche, but that's the reason why I spent all my time with the two of them. Namjoon was obviously there as well, though at the time he didn't spend all of his time with us as he does now. Thinking back, it was hard dealing with both Yoongi and Y/N since they were both so hellish then, but Namjoon was good at placating it. Y/N and Yoongi would argue all the time, back and forth with no end whatsoever. Namjoon would just say "stop" and they would shut up. I don't understand it, even now that it's a lot better and way different than it used to be."

"What do you mean?"

"They care about each other -- Y/N and Yoongi that is -- but it's always seemed as though they have a really twisted way of showing it. I don't approve of it, but I'm not the person to tell them otherwise. It's not my place, first of all. Secondly, I can't do anything about it even if I wanted to. The only person who could have an actual impact would be Namjoon, although anytime I mention it to him, he shuts me down and refuses to talk about it." Seokjin's admission triggers something in Jungkook's mind, and he's taken back all the sudden to one of his previous conversations with Namjoon.

“Quit asking, Jungkook.”

“I’m so-sorry, I was just c—”

“I don’t want to talk about them so you shouldn’t bother.”

“Talk about Yoongi and Y/N?”

“Drop it now before I have to say it again.”

Now that he knows it's been a recurring pattern with Seokjin, Jungkook can't help but wonder what the cause is. Did something happen there for him to be so against talking about it?

"Eh, now that I think about it, I guess Y/N wasn't the absolute worst she could've been. When I first arrived, she really tried her best to help me and look after me in a way, even though I'm older than her. Over time though, she started helping me less and less. I think it's partly because I insisted that I was just fine helping myself. Maybe that's why she was cold to me for so long. Part of me feels guilty about having her help me, somewhat due to the fact that I'm older than here, but also because there isn't really anything wrong with me."

Jungkook blinks at Seokjin. ...isn't really anything wrong with him? But if that's true...why would he be here?

"I'm not sick or anything like that, so she didn't need to help me."

...Not sick?

"We argued about that at one point. I don't remember the exact content of the argument, but Namjoon took my side and of course Yoongi took hers. Things were tense for a little while after that but we cleared things up and talked through it. Turned out better in the end because now we're fine, and she knows that she doesn't have to help me anymore."

"Makes sense," Jungkook mumbles, more focused on the fact that Seokjin claimed to not be sick.

"Of course, she still tries from time to time," Seokjin continues as though Jungkook didn't say anything. "But it isn't as frequent as when she tries to help others like she does with Hoseok or Taehyung or even you."

"What?" Jungkook blanches at the mention of him. "She doesn't do that for me. She doesn't do anything like that at all, especially not compared to what she does for Taehyung or Hoseok."

"Oh, you can't see it?" Seokjin's eyebrows raise, and he swipes his tongue across his lower lip. "I know that she's trying her best to help, but it may not be obvious because of the kind of person she can be. She truly does care though, no matter what you might think. It's just--she, well, she has a tendency to believe that she can help others while keeping them at arm's length, even though that's almost impossible. Maybe that's what caused us to fight in the first place: we don't see eye  to eye on a lot of things. At the end of the day, we respect each other. That's the most important thing: mutual respect and care. As Dr. Mari said, being there for each other is valuable and I wouldn't want any sort of petty argument to get in the way of that."

"I suppose so. Well, no, that's right. That's 100% correct. Just...difficult, I guess."

"So can we talk about what's going on between you and Taehyung now?"

"Huh? W-What? Nothing happened, I don't--I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bullshit." Seokjin releases a small laugh. "Whatever happened between the two of you is somehow affecting Taehyung's relationship with Y/N." Jungkook's heart plummets. He noticed? How did he notice? Did other people notice too? "Listen, Jungkook. Taehyung is one of the most important things in Y/N's life, the other thing being Hoseok. She doesn't feel as though she has any purpose or value outside of that."

"I...I know that, but there isn't--there isn't anything I can do." Seokjin grabs hold of his forearm, pinching the skin with his rough grasp.

"I was up late talking with Yoongi last night, and we were talking about Y/N. She came to visit Yoongi while I was gone yesterday. I was helping clean up and take care of dishes after dinner so Yoongi was alone. I--they--" Seokjin cuts himself off before he can say any more. "Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this. No, I'm sure it's fine. It's fine, I don't have to tell him everything." Jungkook leans away from the man, but Seokjin's grip only tightens around his arm. "Anyways, Y/N and Yoongi talked for a bit."

"You see, this is why we are better off not talking when we're together. Things that don't involve conversation always do more good for the two of us."

Jungkook narrows his eyes. "But...Y/N told me herself that they don't tend to talk when they're together." Seokjin's eyes grow wide, then he shakes his head.

"Uh, it's not my business to tell you the details of her relationship with Yoongi or to explain what the two of them do in their private time."

"P-Private time?" Seokjin presses his lips into a thin line. A second passes, then reality sinks in, and Jungkook suddenly understands what you meant when you said that. "Oh." Seokjin offers a weak yet understanding smile.

"Again, it's not my place to talk about that. But anyways, back to the topic at hand. Y/N had mentioned something to Yoongi about needing a distraction because Taehyung was acting strange and different. She apparently went to talk to him, and he flat out ignored her. She's scared that he's mad at her for not finding his bear sooner."

The black water laps at Jungkook's ankles. He's expecting another tsunami.

"Did Taehyung mention what happened between them or if it has something to do with whatever happened between the two of you?"

"No," Jungkook denies quickly. He tugs his arm out of Seokjin's grasp. "It's not my business to talk about that anyways." Seokjin purses his lips then opens his mouth to say something else. "I have to go." Jungkook stands up, excusing himself from the conversation before it goes any further. He doesn't want to know. He doesn't care to know about whatever is going on between you and Yoongi, or how hurt you are by Taehyung's behavior. It doesn't matter. It's not like I'm going to fucking stay at the clinic forever. Jungkook pushes his way out of the room, leaving Seokjin behind him, and doesn't care to look back and see whether the man decided to follow or not.

The black water is at his waist now, he feels the tug of the tide pulling and dragging him further in, and the cold black hand ready to close around his throat.

Your fault. Your fucking fault. Look what you did. You dirty fucking liar. You disappointment. Look at you. Can't do anything right, huh?

Jungkook stumbles on thin air.

Can't even kill yourself properly, can you?

Then all the sudden, he's on the floor, staring at the white ceiling with a dull throbbing in the back of his head.

"Jungkook!" It's not Seokjin's voice -- far too feminine for that -- but his mind is too swamped by black water to put a name to the voice.

"Y/N!" That's Seokjin, Jungkook recognizes it from having just heard it so much minutes ago. But that means, that it must have been you who yelled his name. For some reason, that realization causes the black hand around his throat to retract and sink back into the water, and the water recedes until it's lapping at his ankles again.

Hands find the collar of his white tee, pulling his shoulders up off the floor. Jungkook blinks a few times as your face appears before him. It stands out against the white of the ceiling, a blur to your features until Jungkook focuses his eyes again.

Then -- panic.

Oh god, is she mad at me? Does she know? She knows. Fuck, I'm screwed. She knows about the journal, about Taehyung, about everything. Fuck.

You smile.

Jungkook chokes on air.

"I found it, Jungkookie."

...

a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! not a lot happened but at the same time a lot kinda happened?? i missed this story so so much and was so happy to return to writing it. i am excited to share more of this story with you guys, along with other projects that i have :3

consider sending me a ko-fi!!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

[drabblesanddreams]

Accidents Happen- Atsushi Nakajima x Reader

Hey everyone :D I’m back with another bsd imagine! I didn’t realize how much more comfortable i am with writing the characters compared to other shows. I had fun writing this albeit there is a cheesy ass ending lmfao sorry yall for unrealistic expectations. This also turned out longer then i wanted to again omg it was just supposed to be 500 words lololol whoops

Also dont be afraid to send in any requests for bsd:)

Fandom: Bungou Stray dogs

TW: None

Summary: Atsushi is dumb insecure boy and you just want to kiss him

Word count: 1.3k

Atsushi first met you a few weeks after joining the Armed Detective Agency.

It didn’t take long afterward for the tiger boy to develop feelings for you.

How could he not? You were such an optimistic and kind person, bringing so much light into the darkness that Atsushi had become accustomed to since his time in the orphanage. 

You always made the boy laugh as well, with your bold humour and sassy remarks that he’d watch you exchange with the other members of the detective agency. He admired your carefree persona; it was what opened his world a little more as you continued to show him your own.

Currently, the gray-haired teen was finishing up the paperwork that he had disregarded from the last mission in favour of tagging after one of your many adventures as you liked to call them. 

You were currently in the same position as him, both teenagers being the only signs of life in the office. Everyone had left for the day but you both had to stay back, seeing as you were unable to procrastinate any longer.

Atsushi winced at the thought of Kunikida-senpai scolding the both of you and demanding that you stay back and finish the mission reports. Shaking the consuming thoughts of you, Atsushi looked back down at his paperwork laid out in front of him.

 Picking up the pen from his desk, Atsushi went back to working with a small sigh. He would look up so very often to your figure splayed out on the communal couch. 

You had gone silent a few moments ago, declaring that if you worked any longer your mind would combust.

Suddenly, a loud exaggerated sigh broke the silence in the room and Atsushi glanced up once more to see you laying on your back with your arm resting across your eyes.

 When no further sound escaped you, Atsushi went back to his work. 

You then released another big dramatic sigh which drew Atsushi’s attention once more.

Deciding to humour you, Atushi smiled and said, “Are you alright (Y/N)-chan?”. Moving your arm from your face, you met Atsushi’s gaze with a child-like pout. He couldn’t help but feel his cheeks warm slightly from the eye contact.

 You were always so easily able to fluster the poor boy. “No,” (Y/N) whined, jutting out her bottom lip even further, “I’m so bored Atsushi-kun, why don’t you stop working as well and hang out with me over here.” You proposed to him.

As much as Atsushi would love to spend time in your company, he was scared in case Kunakida came in screaming once more.

 Otherwise, he may never be able to hang out with you again, seeing as he would be murdered by said man. “I’m sorry (Y/N)-chan, but we have to finish this, we’ve been putting it off for too long,” Atsushi said, declining her proposition.

 Briefly, his mind drifted to how it would be like to have you both cuddle in that couch, your body pressed flush against him as you would card your fingers through his hair. 

Snapping out of this thought, Atsushi was briefly horrified at his own mind.

 Of course, you would never do that sort of thing with him.

You were an incredibly amazing person who would no way settle for someone like him. Besides, Atsushi believed you deserved someone other than him, someone who wasn’t a completely useless failure.

You whined once more, effectively drawing his attention, and you held your arms in front of you, wriggling your fingers at the detective signaling that you wanted him to come to you on the couch. 

Atsushi felt himself lose his resolve as you looked at him with your big (e/c) that caused his cheeks to tint pink slightly. “Alright, alright,” Atsushi sighed, standing up from his chair, finding that he couldn’t deny you anything you requested. 

Once he reached your body, you reached further for him until you had both of his hands grasped in yours. 

Atsushi felt the familiar sensation of his heart racing rapidly, as it usually did when you initiated any sort of physical contact with him. 

You then shifted your hands so that they were intertwined with each of his, before beaming up at the boy from your rested position.

Atsushi’s heart almost stopped at that one, you were surely going to be the death of him one day.

 Sitting up to make room for Atsushi, you pulled him down so that he was next to you. 

Yelping, Atsushi felt his whole-body flush at the close proximation the two of you were in due to your movements.

 He found himself unable to make eye contact with you and turned his head away to one of the desks. He was surely a tomato by now, he was sure of it.

He saw you observing him from the corner of his eye with uncharacteristic silence.

Feeling your body shift slightly, “Are you alright?” (Y/n) asked with concern laced in their voice, “You look red, are you sick?”

“N-no! I’m fine (Y/n)-chan!” he denied quickly, not wanting you to worry over him. In order to diffuse your concern even further, Atsushi turned his head back to you.

However, Atsushi completely forgot about the proximity created between the both of you from your movements earlier. So, when his lips accidentally brushed against yours, he completely froze up feeling his cheeks completely ablaze. Jumping back, he looked at the other detective in complete horror.

No way, he hadn’t done what he thought he just did, did he? Unlinking their hands, Atsushi raised his fingers to his lips, looking at you with shock. You were staring back at him blankly which only caused his heart to completely go out of control.

“O-oh my god! (Y/N)_chan I didn’t mean to O-oh my god I swear it was an accident, I would never-“ Atsushi rambled out, blanching slightly as you continued to look back at him expressionless. 

Shit! He had said something wrong, “W-wait I didn’t mean I would never because of course I would! You’re really pretty and amazing and anyone would be lucky to kiss you!” The gray-haired boy quickly exclaimed before catching on to his unintentional confession.

 “I-I m-mean…” Atsushi stuttered. Holy hell what could he say at this point to defend himself?

Just as he was up and about to give you another explanation, you had cut him with a small giggle.

 Staring at you in disbelief, Atsushi watched as it turned into full-blown laughter. His heart sank slightly at this, who would really want to kiss him anyway?

Suddenly you stopped your laughter as you gave him a big grin, “You are such an idiot” you stated as your (e/c) twinkled in happiness. Before Atsushi could ponder on your words, you reached forward and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him forward so you could reattach your lips.

Atsushi widened his eyes at this, his mind unable to provide him with any coherent thought. 

The feel of your soft lips against his essentially gave his heart palpitations. When you released him, Atsushi gazed shyly at you, “Wait..does this mean..?” he trailed off. Your actions clearly eluded to your own feelings toward the boy, but he found himself still unable to believe it.

 Rolling your eyes, you nodded at him before moving forward to recapture his lips.

This time, Atsushi shut his eyes and felt himself focus on the kiss. He was absorbed by the thought of how soft your lips were, how they moved against his own inexperienced pair.

 Sparks ignited in his chest and he felt himself become consumed by your warmth. Atsushi placed his hands on your thighs with uncertainty as you moved your own to cup his face, tilting your head in order to gain better access.

 Feeling your tongue press slightly against his bottom lip, he let out a small gasp. This caused him to part his lips allowing your tongue to slip a little inside, clearly not wanting to overwhelm the nervous boy.

 Atsushi felt his body heat up with affection towards you as you both pulled away.

You stared at him with a small smile before grabbing hold of one of his hands, intertwining it as it was earlier. Staring down at your hands, you looked back at him, “Of course it was always you.”