#‘ohh this is when we got trapped and almost sucked into a black hole oh and we met the devil but this is such a cute photo actually’

[g3othermal3scapism]

selfie!!! :P

[thekitteninlove]

I wrote another fanfic. This time it's a threesome. I've been meaning to write one for some time now, but the two of them are on such bad terms that i just couldn't figure out how to make it work. Then this event came up and i realized that if i made it into a competition then a threesome was possible even with those 2. The fanfic takes place during the Illuminating love event, where they got trapped in school because of a barrier. This could be a reader insert too if you want.

Characters: Dean Tweedle x reader x Dalim/Dum Tweedle

Rating: R 18+

After Dean ensured that his students were safe and had all they needed, he came up to me and said “Maybe we should go look for that playboy. Who knows what he might be up to now.”

Night had already fallen and I was thinking of going to sleep early since I had nothing better to do now, but when Dean suggested this, I readily agreed to it because I was worried about Dum. Is he still searching for a way out? Did he find something to eat? I hope he’s okay.

We were walking down the dark corridors. The only source of light was the moonlight that was infiltrating through the big windows. Good thing the sky was clear tonight or we wouldn’t have seen anything. It would’ve been pitch black. Aren’t there any lights around here? It’s not like I’m scared of the darkness, but… I gotta admit this is a bit creepy. We were trapped in school because someone cast a barrier around it for some unknown reason. Who could’ve done such a thing? If I remember correctly, Dum said that his king did it without telling him. King!? I don’t think Lancelot or Ray could’ve done this. They wouldn’t have any reason to do it. But then who was Dum referring to? I wanted to ask him, but he changed the subject and I forgot about it. What if… the perpetrator was still here? The thought of that made me feel chills down my spine. Why did he even do this in the first place? Why did he lock us up in here? Does this mean… that he has some plans with us? He might be waiting somewhere in the dark to ambush us. Oh no, I hope everyone is safe and we’ll be able to get out of here alive. I drew close to Dean and wrapped my hand around his arm.

“Hm? Don’t tell me you’re scared of the dark. You seemed so brave earlier today.”

“I’m not afraid of the dark! It’s just that… what if the perpetrator is still here?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. As long as you’re with me, you’ll be safe” He seemed to be calm even under these circumstances. How can he do that!? I’ve never seen him lose his temper even once. I really like this about him though. His words and confident attitude were quite reassuring and I relaxed a bit.

“Sorry for not being of much help” I said after a while. “I wasn’t able to break the barrier” This is the first time my powers couldn’t break a spell. The person who did this must be quite knowledgeable in magic.

“You shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. You did everything you could. We’ll find a way out in the end. I’m sure of it.”

How can he be so optimistic? Does he have a plan? Before I could ask him about it, I spotted a dark silhouette moving ahead of us. I tensed up. Who could it be? The light from outside wasn’t reaching him and it was hard to tell how he looked like. He was completely hidden in the darkness and if he wasn’t moving I wouldn’t have guessed someone was there. Finally, he stepped into the moonlight and to my relief I realized I was looking at Dum. The moonlight made his dark eyes glint and gave his blonde hair a silvery shade. He was looking at us and wearing a smile on his slightly pale face.

“Hi, princess, I’m so glad to see you again, but I wish this brute wasn’t with you so I could have you all to myself.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m here. Who knows what this pervert might’ve done to you.” Dean sounded annoyed as he always was when he was around Dum.

“I’d never do anything that would upset the princess. I’ll do everything I can to make her happy” Dum riposted

“You mean make her miserable. I can make her happier than you ever could”

Woah, Dean is fighting over me!? I didn’t expect him to say that. Does he… have feelings for me?

“A brute like you? Unlikely. Everyone knows how good I am at pleasing women” Dum seemed to be quite proud of that fact.

“I can do that too if I put my mind to it” Dean tended to become quite competitive whenever Dum was involved. He hated to lose to this guy

“Then how about we have a competition?” Dum suggested “Whoever pleases the princess more gets to keep her”

What!? By ‘please’ do they mean…?

“Fine by me” Dean agreed

Dum turned his gaze to me and grinned. “Then it’s settled. I’ll go first” He came closer and placed his lips on my neck, making me gasp in surprise. So this is what he meant. I wonder what they’ll do. Since they’re so competitive, they’ll go to great lengths to please me. My imagination was running wild and coming up with scenarios that made my heart beat faster.

Dum was licking my neck now, while Dean drew closer and whispered in my ear “I’ll make you choose me”. Then he licked my ear and nibbled on it.

“Mmh” The things they were doing to me were making me feel so good. I didn’t expect them to touch me at once. I’m not sure my heart will be able to handle this. How am I supposed to choose between them?

Dum then went in for a kiss, pressing his lips against mine and sometimes sucking on my bottom lip, while his hands slid under my skirt and started rubbing me between my legs. Meanwhile, Dean unbuttoned my shirt and moved behind me to unclasp my bra. He then began to move his fingers in circles around my nipples. This stimulation was making me feel so aroused, but at the same time it was also so relaxing that I felt that my knees would buckle soon. Dean then gently squeezed my breasts and bit my neck, making me moan. Dum took this opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth. Being sandwiched between the ‘Twin Princes’ whose hands were all over me was making my body temperature quickly rise up and my heart to pound wildly in my chest. Their stimulation was making me want more. I wish they would do more. Oh, maybe I could… make them do naughtier things to me. An idea popped into my head, so I acted on it. I pushed Dum to the floor and took off his pants and underwear.

“Oh no, I’ve been assaulted by a lioness” Dum sounded like he was enjoying himself.

I took out a condom from my skirt pocket and carefully put it on him. Then I straddled his hips and put my hands on either side of him. I looked down at him and saw a grin spread on his handsome face.

“You naughty princess” he said “you want to do dirty things to me too, huh?”

“Mmh, yes, you teased me so much you made me lose control” I took him in me and started to move my hips, which made us both moan. Then I heard a voice from behind me.

“I didn’t know you were such a bad girl” Dean sounded annoyed. “You’re doing such naughty things to a loser like him… I’ll have to use the ruler on you to re-educate you now” I felt a sting on my butt as he delivered the first strike

“Ohh, yes, punish me, I’m so naughty”

While Dean was hitting my butt with his ruler, Dum started to massage my breasts. “Oh no, what’s this brute doing to you? Let me make you feel better”

“Am I giving you enough pleasure?” Dean asked “If not, I can keep doing this”

“Ahh, It’s… not enough” I don’t want him to stop

“Alright then” he sounded pleased “I’ll keep spanking you until you won’t feel like riding that playboy anymore”

“Ahh, yes” I was starting to move faster, while Dean was spanking me harder and harder.

“You’re so shameless. Doing such perverted things in front of me and with such a man, no less.” Dean scolded me and as he spank me the ruler broke.

“Ah, well, it was worn out anyway” he didn’t sound upset about it. In fact, he sounded like he was having fun. Then he added “Your riding skills need some improvement. I’ll teach you how to properly ride someone” he said as he tightly griped my hips so that I couldn’t move anymore and started moving in and out of me. He brought his mouth close to my ear and said “Let’s screw this awful man until he forgets his own name”

He was gradually moving faster and my hips were moving in concordance with his. We’re all moaning so much, I just hope the students don’t hear us. Dean is moving so fast now I feel like my heart will explode any minute now.

“Ahh~, Dean, slower” I pleaded, but his movements weren’t slowing down

“This is… ahh… how you… properly ride.” Dean managed to say between moans “stop complaining” He smacked my butt with his hand

“Oh~, Dean, no” I protested, but that only earned me another smack, which solicited another moan from me.

I looked down at Dum. He was a sweaty, moaning mess. “Ahh, princess… don’t stop… mmh… ride me more~”

“Ah, yes, screw this man-whore… until he won’t be able to… stand up straight” Dean said in a voice that sounded almost sadistical

They were both in me, moving in and out of different holes and moving their hands all over my body. They kept giving me intense pleasure until late at night, when we got tired and fell asleep next to each other under a blanket Dum brought for us.

The next day, Dum somehow found a way out, although I suspect he used his magic to make a hole in the barrier. He looked very pale, as he usually did when he used too much magic. I was worried about him, but he said that he’ll be fine once he got some rest. We were finally outside in the sunshine. I was still trying to figure out why would someone put a barrier around the school, when Dum asked me “So, did you decide, princess? Which one will you choose?”

That took me by surprise. I almost forgot that that was a competition for them. “I… it’s so hard to decide. You both were great”

“I’m so glad to hear that” Dum was smiling at me. “but I don’t think this brute deserves the praise, so I think you should choose me”

“What do you mean you can’t decide?” Dean, on the other hand looked annoyed. “It’s obvious that I’m the correct choice”

Damn, I can’t choose right now. “Um, i… I need more time to decide”

“Alright, princess. If you need some help making that decision you can always come to my tavern and I’ll show you a really good time that you won’t ever be able to forget” Dum sounded pretty confident.

I turned my face to Dean. I hope he can wait a bit more. “Fine by me. I’ll give you an extension. Just this once. Although… I don’t think it should take you so long to find the right answer. You’re in need of some private lessons which will help you solve this problem. I can give you some if want to.”

“Thanks, I’ll… think about it. All I want right now is to go home and get some rest. I didn’t sleep much last night, so… I’ll be heading home now”

After we bid farewell, we all went on our own ways. I’m glad we managed to get out of there and that everyone is safe. I think Dum knows more about this case than he lets on, but for some reason he won’t tell us more. I wonder why. I wish I could make him tell me everything, but… I doubt he’ll surrender so easily. I sighed. I was so tired my brain wasn’t functioning properly. I need to sleep first and then I’ll be able to process everything that happened last night.

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

the funniest jokes in bfdi

flower’s announcer crusher that she just. has, and everyone else just uses it too

trying to put out a fire by holding ice cube’s recovery center over the fire so she just falls into it endlessly

every single one of yellow face’s products, including but not limited to

fork attractant, for when you need a fork but don’t have the cutlery on hand

headphones you cannot change the volume on or remove

money slips, you just write an amount on them, and it counts as legal tender

“thats a pentagon!” “yeah! like if you took my name and added ‘Tagon’!“

in like episode 2 when they all run away from something and a second later flower casually power-walks away from it instead of running

when balloony deflated and a while later cloudy flies over and goes “i cannot believe it! this is a dead body!!”

“he’s not dead, he just needs a little help thats all! (starts reinflating him too fast) but i agree, he is a hindrance when he is deflate- ohh noooo”

hollow jawbreakers that sound can come into but can’t go out of

when they stuck loser in a jawbreaker they inverted it, so they can hear him talk to himself but he cant hear anything around him

no one seems to know that thats why they can hear him

one time they all ended up in space. because of budget cuts.

actually every time budget cuts lead to something that seems way cooler than their previous stuff, like sparkly purple lasers instead of a mechanical arm to eliminate people with

the consistently bad cake at stake prizes. one time it was just a block of ice cut into six pieces. one time it was dirty shovels.

the magical die of judgement

when freesmart drove across the ocean in their van and they managed it by holding their breath and each time one of them died they just recovered them and threw their corpse out the back

golf ball messing up naming her team by saying things like “we need to be another name” and ending up on teams called Another Name and A Better Name Than That

one team was formed entirely around learning to not kill people. pillow overhears them say “youre against killing?” and goes “:D did someone say killing??”

tennis ball admonishing rocky for not knowing how to write: “no arms is no excuse”

they had to find a needle in a haystack and needle just turned herself in, successfully

when they started using a board with the points written on it on flaps of paper instead of a computer screen, but due to budget cuts, it could only display two digits per contestant, so anyone who went over 100 started immediately dropping to the bottom of the rankings

when ice cube was sleeping at the cake of stake podiums and got shot up into the air at like 3000 mph

2763

when the eliminated contestants tried to escape the loser chamber and they just rolled it off into the ocean

theyre saved because the sun rises and picks them up out of the ocean

also apparently the chamber opens for like five minutes a day for sunlight, but instead of just climbing out during that time, which they seem to be capable of doing, they do a much more convoluted thing

they were sick of four so they got rid of him by multiplying him with donut, and it worked

ruby has some really weirdly specific ideas of beauty and coaches flower

the line delivery of “killing a bubble is as easy as one, two, th(pop)” “i just learned two things about bubble: she can be su i c i d a l and she’s S O D U M B she CANT even count to T H R E E!”

a few episodes later bubble angrily shows them she CAN count to three if she lives long enough to do so, and pencil and match are both like :O :O

bubbles first line in season four is her rapidly counting to ten before getting popped

the way each team breaks their jawbreakers

8 ball just goes “MNYAH” and bites it in half

"okay black hole, do the thing”

leafy tries to use woody’s tongue to lick it open even though rocky and balloony were doing just fine using acid

iance just going ‘bwehbwehbweh’ all licking the same one

team ice cube was doing a mix of bwebwhbehbbwehbw and loudly drilling it open with naily

when four loved so hard he shot eraser off over the horizon

when they’re discussing team names in season one  and theyre all talking over each other so you cant hear what theyre saying, except match, who grabs a megaphone and screams “SMOKY HOT FIERY BUNS”

when needle made a cake and put so much yeast in it that it breached earth’s atmosphere and astronomers apparently began classing earth as part of a three planet system (”consisting of the earth, the moon, and something called ‘needles cake’”)

“it’s ice cube! and she’s shrinking?” “she’s falling”

saying “(x character)! wake up!!” when it’s unclear (to the audience) why a character looks silly or apparently isnt responding

blocky’s sleeping pose is him with his eyes wide open, sporting a big goofy grin and hugging his legs

david’s sleeping pose is him with X eyes

one time the contest was to fill a tank with water from crying, and golf ball immediately ordered tennis ball to cry. he couldn’t do it on command, so golf ball tried, and cried her first ever tear, just... her first one

when the prize was fortune cookies, the fortunes were bracelety’s notes about how much she loves ice cube

“four, where’d you get these fortunes again?” “dumpster!”

“lightning always forgets to fly, so he had to be the fake”

when they were flying paper planes and stapy accidentally stapled his teammates into theirs, and he just hovered next to it while he was talking to them before they all started to plummet

the entire scene where liy tries to use ice cube to force teardrop to talk

“i’ll hold teardrops jaw open and you wiggle her vocal chords”

“i hate you” “yeah i hate her too!” “no. i hate you.”

“ice cube will only stop when she WANTS to stop!” “i want to stop”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME! YOU SAID YOU WERE COOL!” “so r r y (starts wiggling)”

“ICE CUBE! I AM APPALLED!!!!!”

ice cube gets bitten and starts screaming while bracelety is yelling “YEAH ICE CUBE! I CANT HEAR YOU, LOUDER!!”

apparently everyone who hates golf ball gets physically sick when they get near her (or at least, ruby does and snowball did once he knew she was there)

blocky got eaten by a monster in episode two but it turned out the monster missed him by a bit so he was fine

taco’s teammates thought she was dead forever and wrote eulogies for her, and once they found out she was alive lollipop threw hers away, but saw kept hers because in her eyes they’re still valid!!

when things started to get dramatic in the s1 finale, and leafy called announcer on the phone and he was in a ball pit

loser’s trapped in a jawbreaker and the only thing with him is donut’s diary. the next time you see him he’s reading it furiously and it’s filled with color-coded sticky notes

pillow decided if you wave your arms it means all your “care spirit” is getting sucked out your arms and sent into space (”a true indicator that person doesn’t give a fluff”)

remote got hacked and her FIRST INSTINCT is to send the hackers a bomb

“if theres an announcer recovery center now, that means we can kill the announcer as much as we want and he’ll still come back to give us dream island!”

they ask black hole to push them in their swing and he says he can’t push, but he can pull like there’s no tomorrow

“no i can literally warp space time so that there will be no tomorrow” “yeah,h don’t do that.”

when they have a tiebreaker announcer pulls out a silk tie and goes “first team to break this tie wins”

the second time, almost before he finished speaking, snowball just reached over and ripped it in half effortlessly

“proves you don’t need frills to make a feast for the eyes!” “more like taco doesn’t need to be dead to be deceased in my eyes!!!”

they had a race where everyone on each team had their legs tied together (like a three-legged race, but with like six people on a team)

pen’s team was doing fine but he wasn’t, so they just dragged him along behind

snowball tied his team into a ball and dragged them himself, to predictable results, and wouldn’t stop until he got to the finish line even though it took him until after the sun went down

he failed, actually, and him and his team plummeted down a ravine when he passed out

“the opposite of dream island! night...nightmare moon!!”

donut stuck his arms through a one way camera to the moon (it transmits matter as well as light), and to fix the fact that his arms were on the moon and his body was on earth, he pushed the entire earth through the camera

the moon is smushed up against the earth now. it has not been resolved yet

“gelatin and firey tied their legs together and fell off” “ya, seems like the kind of thing they would do”

pencil got caught by a monster and couldnt get away, so they had to kill her so they could recover her somewhere else, and they let her pick how they did it, which lead to everyone just sawing her in half while she grinned ear to ear. she was singing too. iconic

but first, match, her best friend, started waggling a big butcher’s knife around at her going “hoohoo hoeheehee im killing pencil loookat me” and pencil said “match put your butterknife away, you have to ACTUALLY kill me”

and when they were sawing her in half bubble had the BIGGEST, most BLISSFUL grin, with her eyes half closed like a happy cat

bell asks for help making people stop climbing her string, and snowball assures her he can do it, but he’ll have to climb her string to get to them

then like twenty people followed him up

when writing utensil characters use themselves to write with

sometimes they have tiny versions of themselves (sans limbs), but sometimes they just like, pull their caps off and write with their heads

(the same scream noise they use every time a group of people screams) “HONESTLY! (grabs a new can of fork repellent from hammerspace) are you guys going to scream like that EVERY time i use up a can?”

dodecadangit

OH THANKS AN OCTADECILLION, MATCH

they were basically playing hot potato where if you look at someone who was glowing you’d catch the glow, and most teams ended up just chilling with their eyes closed, but golf ball yelled “EVERYONE GET ON MY ROCKET” and she and her team just left earth entirely

this did not stop them from catching the glow

someone’s like “the communicator dish still works” and book goes “oh,” dips a chip into the communicator dish and splashes dip everywhere, “THATS what this is?”

the, like, five minute long end-credits scene of ice cube falling off a cliff eternally

pencil tells ruby which button to press and she keeps getting it wrong, partly because NEW BUTTONS KEEP APPEARING

the poison antidote that has the side effect of making the recipient eat one other contestant

pencil coaching her teammates on how to jump higher

“MMR? I love measles, mumps, and rubella!”

“golf ball knows how to do, like, everything!” (cut to golf ball) “i don’t know how to do, like, anything”

basketball invited 8 ball to be on her team cuz they’re both balls, then 8 ball said “sure, and let’s adopt these three” in reference to three other ball characters

loser said when he was younger he used to play with a toy that was apparently only just invented an hour ago, and everyone, like 60 characters, immediately disowned him and started a turf war over the situation

“black hole, you’re strong! open this jar for me!”

(as the world is literally ending) “FLOWER! WHATAVE YOU DONE??” “i got this jar open!!!”

whenever a host dies or is otherwise put out of commission and the contestants just keep trucking along until they remember no one can get the prize if the host isn’t around to give it to them 

that time announcer used like ten negatives in a sentence 

the way announcer says “wow!” with more emotion than anything else he says? idk if it’s intentional, or even a joke, but it’s the best thing 

(slow mo) “i want to cry now, i really do”

“and i cry acid”

ruby died of sadness and book made it big by selling her remains 

when they say some line that’s just regular words in a slightly unique way, and then the line gets repeated throughout the series 

announcer accidentally-on-purpose got everyone killed, except david (who’s immune to bugs), and he had a david cloner, so he just went ahead and replaced everyone with davids in costumes

halfway through cake at stake, the original contestants show up unexpectedly and explain that they “faked their deaths! obviously.”

“ive decided to not cancel bfdi!” “aw, seriously?”

the noises david and dora make when they do things, like clattering, or sprouting leaves 

bubble and match pretending to be trees

“NO BUBBLE! TREES DONT SAY THAT!” “OH, RIGHT! FSSHHHHHH! FWWWSHH!!!!”

when nickel and coiny get close together bad things happen

“how’s the tree-climbing going?” “it’s okay, but it’d be easier if you helped. (swoop) okay, just got to the top” 

“yes! I am the first one up the tree!” “that’s NOT true, I was here FIRST” 

i guess we’ll just have to use this trebuchet tennis ball built before he died 

“wha! yhad this the HWOLE TIME, I DIDN EVEN HAVE TO CLIMB THE TREE?” “physical exertion builds character :)” 

when everyone’s begging four to bring back their dead teammates, especially saw, who lost her entire team, and four is like okay I’ll bring back one (1) person, and saw very reverently starts to ask him for her dead team leader, but grassy says “tennis ball!” and four listens to him instead, and everyone immediately starts nagging four again to bring back more important people 

leafy, about to melt ice cube down for metal scrap: “ice cube, come on down! you can be my alloy!”

they met a new character and they’re like “who is that?” and pie’s like “I dunno, try squishing it” 

“theres another one? whoa! it totally has a different texture from the first one!”

8 ball beginning every single statement with things like “although I don’t have a favorite number...” 

“I do this!” (grabs pin and turns her, screaming, into a squiggly pile of lines) “pretty cool, dontcha think?” 

“can,,,, you bring her back?” “no” (five seconds later) “HEY CHECK THIS OUT! (brings back pin)” 

pen high fived black hole and his arm spaghettified 

“what are you doing?” “im going to die!” “hi needle! he’s not going to die.”

iance was trying to dig their way up out of the ground but they couldnt because golf ball kept blocking them from the surface

“maybe theyre trying to communicate with me?” “yeah they’re telling you to stop”

“they raise a very convincing argument. BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH!” “OH what a pain!!”

she accurately guessed the fact that there was a group of people underground running from some lava who “clearly value avoiding [golf ball] more than their own safety”

“ohhhh so THIS is golf balls idea of fun!” “(sigh)... yep”

they looked through a camera and couldn’t see donut (the zoom wasn’t adjusted) and marker went “donut’s a vampire too?” 

too???

“meh, I’ve still got other evidence”

one time the eliminated contestants got to vote who to eliminate and snowball was like “ice cube, cuz it’s really hot in the TLC and I can’t be the only one cooling it off” 

like four other people were like “oh man he’s right” and did the same thing

“wouldn’t it be cool if the last word of the last episode was the same as the first word of the first episode?” “yeah :)” 

“take. a deep breath. you know. A DEEP FRIED BREATH” 

at the end of the episode he shows up with some boiling oil and is like “LIKE THIS! ONE, (sizzling and screaming noises)” “COINY NO” 

leafy was about to throw a knife at them but watched this happen offscreen with horror and then left them alone

david’s human, and that’s just weird

“im still mad you killed bubble” “youre one to talk, you were about to impale TWO WHOLE teams” “yeah, but bubble’s life? is special”

pen’s like “okay we three need to stick together while we’re picking teams!” but then eraser hears some other team has free food, so he runs off and pen very flatly goes “okay, we lost eraser.”

“well let’s not pick pen, he’s still two hundred bigintillion dollars in debt” which is mostly hilarious without the first three seasons of context, but even with context it’s hilarious. he looks so shamefaced when they say it too. i love pen

once someone finally picks him he IMMEDIATELY perks up and takes charge

the hphprcc went into self destruct mode and everyone started frantically trying to figure out what to do, and book’s like “okay it’ll either just disappear without a trace, or blow up and kill us all, 50/50 chance” and then of course, it exploded, and ruby started screaming, and then book was like “ruby, stop hallucinating! see? it just disappeared, without a trace!”

“YOuuOURE HalLUCINAATING!!” “DON’T do that!! it is K-R-E-P!”

pin tried to knock everyone off the eiffel tower by shaking it and book was like “who does she think she’s kidding? it’s the eiffel tower we won’t fall off”

“name ONE! name ONE friend you haven’t gotten extremely angry at!” “thats not fair,! there isnt even any of them!”

8ball was saying the opposite of everything golf ball was saying, up to and including calling the members of their team, a better name that that, “worse namers”

“is this because i killed you last episode?” “what?? no, i dont care about that!”

“life is CHEAP! get me a BANANA!!!”

flower bit off half of announcer’s head and he couldn’t make the K sound anymore

“have this -ashew” “bless you”

“no i said -ashew. -ashew. -ashew. -ashew.” “wow you must be allergic to something”

“maybe announcer’s allergic to this cashew? here bubble, you can have it!”

pencil won the staring contest because david’s allergic to sunrises

freesmart was making video diaries during the three year hiatus, but apparently did absolutely no editing or even rewatching of the videos, because they found out three years too late that ruby left the lens cap on every time she used the camera

when four played the cake at stake song in the classroom he played it on a low-quality portable tv instead of cutting to a fullscreen video

“iknowafasterway!” “NORUBYYOULLDIE!”

pin said she didnt want to halve the votes she got because she hadnt done anything that would make people want to vote for her, and it immediately cut to a series of old scenes of her throwing people under the metaphorical bus

literally nothing is funnier than “i mean, i havent done anything to make people vote for me” (cut to flashback) “there’s too much weight on this sinking ship!!! we need to throw someone OVERBOARD!!!!”

one team got stuck doing their nine-piece puzzle for a MONTH because all the pieces were the same dark brown color

the pieces were upside down

a month

“the finish line! it’s only twenty or so yards away!”

two people talking and using the word “needy” twice and pausing to throw their hands up protectively and go “HNnnnynGH”

“why do i have filling, but also a hole?” - donuts diary

in 5b theyre talking to some npcs and theyre like “well dont hurt us, because we just got finished being punished in lego brick’s dungeon” and the npcs were like “oh yeah he does that. he’s a great guy, but he does that.”

also in 5b when book met lego brick the FIRST thing she asked is if he’s “safe to look at” which,???

they did a trivia contest and multiple questions were in complete gibberish

presumably this is an actual language in canon since like three other people answered correctly, also in gibberish, but still

“you’ve got this, bubble, you’re great at mental contests” “question one: ooba grooba, grooba shmooba?” “HUH?”

“but tennis ball -- oh... tennis ball....--”

team naming, especially in season four

“we’re not ALL in the alliance!” “well, if you take ‘the all’ out of the alliance, you get...”

“and what is your name?” (everyone says their own actual names at once)

ice cube is not on team ice cube

Death Prevention And Creating Trust

“let’s be called The Losers!” “awww! you didn’t have to”

wheel ooze a hole bunch. WOAH bunch!

“but then it sounds like youre saying free-DUMB!” “and we are so like totally not dumb!”

when the losers decided to use iance’s idea to win the swing contest and it was styled like an overenthusiastic science video 

“WHOA!!! iance just had a RADICAL idea!!!”

“TREASON! TREASON! TREASON!” “im in what?”

“seriously why are so many people drowning? it’s not even quicksand, or anything” - announcer, responding to five people drowning in a basket of bread

they were whispering with “susuusus” noises and cloudy whispered “zuzuzuzzuz”

the spaceship with the sign that says “this spaceship runs on big squishy contestants” or whatever and after the credits it slowly flips over to say “this spaceship runs on VOTERS”

“stop shooting at me!” “no way! i got these cannonballs on sale and IM GONNA GET MY MONEYS WORTH!!!”

eggy and cake’s argument over who has a deeper spiritual connection with loser

“my connection is so strong that when i crack, i bleed loser’s COLOR”

playing catch with a star they plucked out of the big dipper, and leafy’s horror over it

adding “ey” to people’s names (personal favorites are announcery, fourty-four, flowey, treey, and belly)

blueberries are EXPLOSIVE, including the ones inside pie, so sometimes she just explodes

“but over a year ago, four said you dont need frills to make a feast for the eyes, so that means hes okay with trash!”

the anti-advertisements advertisement!

four ate a whole team and they just sort of stood around inside him sticking their arms out his mouth and laughing hysterically

“again! again again again !!!!”

“we could be leaving!” “yeah, but when’s the last time you saw remote this happy? this is good for her!”

book, three episodes into season 3: hey, what is it we’re even battling for?

(iconic voice): dwream island,??

when they had a beauty contest and firey speaker box and flower speaker box just immediately chose firey and flower to be the winners without a second’s hesitation

“book! come help us catch a criminal!” “no thanks, im good!”

donut tried to punish people for getting the wrong answers when he was hosting, but it turns out a recording of four screeching doesn’t work... quite as well as the real deal

four zapping gelatin

ok ok ok this is insanely long but please add more if u have any favorites i missed