#‘oh nooo dont shash youll be disgusting’ and like i FEEL LIKE? im allowed to feel bad if someone says that to me? lol ;(
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#negative#transphobia cw#i guess?#feeling weird cos my family has been making remarks on me not taking care of myself/my appearance lately*#*read as since i came out/started hrt 🙄#but like idk feels bad man cos like#objectively its true i looked better like two years ago than i did now but i feel so much more comfortable in my skin now#though like not anywhere near as comfortable as id like to be and like also less comfortable bc i feel uglyyyy lol#i hate how much i care abt how i look like#like truly i feel so annoying and incompetent and dumb and talentless that like i could at least make up for it even a /tiny/ bit by like#being pretty or smth but like..... \*looks in mirror* ;(#and like normally if someone called me disgusting i wouldnt care but like when i came out to her my aunt was like V CASUALLY#‘oh nooo dont shash youll be disgusting’ and like i FEEL LIKE? im allowed to feel bad if someone says that to me? lol ;(#plus my cousin saying that my grandmother keeps telling him to try to change my mind and like#my moM saying stuff like how she liked how i would do my makeup before and how i should grow out my hair again and liiiiiike#idk if i bring up any of this to them theyll say im overthinking or just bring it up again and be like Its true tho#and like idk i couldnt deal with actually hearing them say that lol i feel like such a senstive little piece of garbaaaage lol#BUT ANYWAYS! i got a new hat this weekend and it feels nice and doesnt make my head look tiny so im stoked#my first fuckin hat in like Years ;_;#𓆣#also gotta upd8 my fone cos theres new emojis i think yeayuh
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