#‘oh how i love being a woman!’ tiktok audio

[deprivedmusicaljunkie]

i love would that i so much. i have never been in love but that sounds like its permanence. like coming to terms with knowing that you know exactly who they are and they know exactly who you are. and maybe they look like your demons but you fell in love with the fire long ago. the beginning verses describing his past partner are so soft, and the later verses describing his current partner are satirical and a little abrasive but he’s singing with a smile. i don’t know. i don’t know

[achenetype]

Hihi can you please do a Luke x reader where it’s basically an unrequited love like reader is so in love with Luke and he has no idea so she moves on and years later she’s over him and confesses to him like a oh I thought you should know and the whole time Luke had been in love with her, kinda base it off that one TikTok audio where it’s like “I’m not in love with you anymore” “I never knew you were” 🩷🩷

OHH YOURE FEEDING MY ANGST BRAIN WITH THIS ONE. buckle up lets break some hearts

edit: this ended up being WAY sadder than i originally intended. i am so sorry anon oh my god

i gave you a rare gift (but you didn't want it) — luke castellan

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

word count: 2.8k

content: angst, major character/reader death, unrequited love, mutual pining, reader is part of kronos' army, luke and reader are doomed by the narrative, [Y/N] used (sparingly), alcohol mention, description of injury

listening to: bloodfest (from mizumono) by brian reitzell

You are twenty-two years old, sitting on the rocky beach of a lake somewhere in the forests of upstate New York. Light, gentle fog hangs in the air around you, and the only sound is the tap-tap-tap of Luke skipping rocks across the water.

Come dawn, the world will burn. The gods will be dethroned. Every demigod will either be free, or dead.

But now, at midnight, you are twenty-three and Luke turns to you. He's holding a small, squashed cupcake in one hand. "Happy birthday," he says, "to my right-hand man." He pauses. "Woman. Right-hand woman."

He holds the pastry out to you and smiles, but something behind his eyes is empty. Hollow. He hadn't been sleeping recently. As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn't stop you from seeing when he came to you every morning for a cup of coffee and to debrief for the day.

Perks of being the revolution leader's best friend, you think. His right-hand woman.

Luke's eyes flick from the cake to your face. "Do you like it?" He asks, and for a split second, you swear there's a note of hope in his voice. "I wanted to do something, y'know," he says. "Twenty-three is huge. It's a monumental age."

You nod, but stay quiet.

He pauses for a second. "You remember how you always said you wished you never had a birthday?"

When you were twelve, nearly thirteen, your mother drove you across the country to go to summer camp.

"It'll be like a road trip," she said, tossing your duffel bag into the back seat of her battered car. "And then, hey, you'll only stay at camp until the end of August, and then you can come back and go to school. See all your friends again." She squeezed your shoulder and pushed the car door closed. "How about that?"

"Sure," you said. "Super fun."

And it was; you were actually kind of excited. You'd never been to New York. It seemed a million universes away.

And it was your birthday tomorrow. Maybe this was a gift, something that your mother had put together to make up for the years of being too tired and too drunk to make a cake, or get presents, or anything.

Your mother put her hands on her hips and sighed. "You know how I feel about the attitude, yeah? Let's not do this today."

"I wasn't even trying to—" You cut off as your mother glared at you, her face tense. You knew that look: the biting-the-inside-of-her-cheek, trying-to-be-understanding, trying-to-be-a-good-mom-despite-it-all look.

You hated that look.

"Just..." She sighed. "Just get in the damn car, [Y/N]."

You did, fighting back the tears building in the corners of your eyes, and the slam of the car door closing was as loud as thunder.

Twenty silent minutes of city streets and highway merge ramps and cold, empty stretches of asphalt and concrete passed before either of you spoke.

"Mom," you said, thirty-three seconds into minute twenty-one, "I'm sorry for talking back earlier." Your voice was quiet, shaking, cupped in your throat like a scared animal.

She didn't answer, keeping her eyes fixed on the road.

"I don't like being like this, Mom," you said, looking over at her. The silhouette of her through the driver's side window, backlit by the streetlights, was shapeless. Impassive. "I don't like doing this with you all the time."

She scoffed.

You pulled your legs to your chest, tucking your head between your knees, and tried to find sleep.

You weren't sure how long you slept, but you woke up to the sound of music playing softly over the speakers. Exit signs whizzed past you at what felt like breakneck speed. You wondered, briefly, if you would break your neck if you jumped out of the car right now.

Ultimately you decided against it. You didn't want your mother's last words to you to be, get in the damn car.

That would make her feel guilty, you thought, and that guilt would make her hate me even more.

"I don't wanna fight," you tried instead, picking at a loose thread in the cuff of your jacket sleeve. "Mom, I'm sorry, okay? I don't want us to be mad at each other anymore," you said. A sob caught in your throat, heavy and wet and choking.

Your mother sighed and reached one hand from the wheel to tuck your hair behind your ear. "I know you don't, sweetie," she said. "I don't want to be mad at you either."

"Then why do you do it," you asked.

When she turned to look at you, her eyes were wet. She smiled, or tried to. "Sometimes, certain people just…can't help but fight," she said. "It's just part of who we are, I think."

"Did you fight with Dad?"

Your mother inhaled, quick and sharp through her nose, as she flicked the turn signal to right and guided the car down the exit ramp from the highway, her eyes locked ahead. "Yes," she said. "Sometimes. Sometimes I think that's where we get it."

You swallowed. "Do you ever miss him?"

She doesn't peel her gaze away from the road. "Every day."

The two of you made your way through bustling streets and across too many bridges to count. You thought you fell asleep again, for a minute or maybe a year. Maybe it was all a dream.

"Mom," you asked as she turned onto a worn dirt road, the sunrise barely stretching over the horizon, "why are you bringing me here?"

She didn't answer for a moment. Two moments, then three. Through the leaves, you saw one tree standing impossibly tall. A pine tree.

Your mother parked the car and turned to you. "Because I don't know what to do with you, [Y/N]," she said. "I don't know how I can keep you," she paused, "safe. How I could do this, on my own, in any normal way."

She got out of the car and grabbed your bag, shoving it against your chest. "Camp is just up that hill there," she said, gesturing in the direction of the large tree you'd seen earlier. "They’ve got people up there waiting for you."

"Mom," you said. "Wait, I—I wanted to talk to you—"

She shook her head. "I can't come with you, sweetie." She smiled, the curve of her mouth falling just short of her eyes. "You just remember that I love you, okay?"

At that moment, you knew: she was going to leave you here.

“No,” you said, tears rolling down your face. “No, no—Mom. Mom, please.”

“Before you go,” she said, her voice tight and sharp, “I wanted to give you this.” She reached into the back seat and pulled out a jacket, worn leather with patched elbows. “It was mine in college,” she explained, not meeting your eyes. Like she was reading from a play or book, and you were the unfortunate audience. “I figure, it doesn’t fit me anymore.” 

She pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Happy birthday, baby.”

It was the first time you had ever felt like your mother loved you. You knew she liked you, sometimes. But you were never quite sure if she loved you until that moment. 

And then she got back into the car with one final, teary nod. 

And you never saw her again.

“Yeah,” you tell Luke, shrugging. “I think I’ve got a pretty good reason, though.” Your lips curve into a smile.

He laughs and tilts his head. It’s a habit of his; he’ll say something and twist his neck just a fraction, narrow his eyes. A nervous tic that not even years of training and fighting and killing could stamp out.

You used to think about kissing his neck when he did it, but now you’re not sure whether you would know the difference between kissing and ripping his throat out. 

“True,” Luke concedes. You laugh, too, unrestrained and loud. “Gods, your sense of humor is dark.”

“You laughed first,” you remind him. He grins.

The cupcake he offers you, despite its lumps and smears of frosting, is pretty good. You split it apart with careful fingers and hand half of it back to him.

“You’re celebrating with me,” you laugh, “so you get half. That’s the rule.”

Luke simply smiles at you and takes the crumbling cake from your hand. “Whatever you say.”

You roll your eyes, grinning back. “Damn right.”

Luke’s laugh rings out again, sharp and bright against the night sky. Firelight flickers across his face, painting him in brilliant streaks of orange and gold. 

“After tomorrow,” Luke murmurs, pulling his knees up to his chest, “we can do this whenever we want.” The wind ruffles his hair almost fondly, floppy brown curls stirring and settling back against his skull.

You raise an eyebrow. “This?”

He gestures in a wide arc. “Be here, like this. Just be people, instead of demigods or heroes or revolutionaries.” Luke’s voice picks up, conviction surging into his words. “I mean, seriously—when was the last time you thought you would ever have a normal life?”

You’d never understood the demigods who joined Luke’s cause without knowing him. The plan itself seemed crazy—the only way anyone would follow it was if they knew their leader could pull it off. 

You have to know Luke to know he was capable of that, you think.

Until now. Now, you see what you think everyone else sees—a real leader, a revolutionary. A force for change with a silver tongue.

He makes it all seem so possible. You almost think he might pull it off.

Luke looks over to you. “We’re going to change everything,” he says. 

Almost.

“We’re going to change the rules,” Luke said, spreading the map over an empty cot in his cabin. “If we want to win, we need to be thinking six steps ahead of the enemy.”

A few of the campers huddled around the makeshift table shuffled and coughed awkwardly. 

“Every strategy’s been done before,” a tall girl with bubblegum-pink hair and an eyebrow piercing shouted from the back of the group. “How are we going to out-war the god of war’s kids?” 

Murmurs rushed around the table, soft and susurrant. There’s no way we’re going anywhere here. We’ve gotten our asses beat six weeks in a row. What are we even doing?

Luke smiled. “Ares is the god of war,” he said, “not strategy.” He slung his arm around one of the campers next to him and inclined his head in the direction of the map.

Quietly, almost too quiet for you to hear, he murmured into the girl’s ear. “Don’t doubt yourself, Bethy,” he whispered.

You learned three things in the ten minutes that she spent explaining your team’s new strategy—

—one, your team was going to kick some major ass—

—two, your strategist’s name was Annabeth Chase, and she was the smartest eight-year-old you have ever met—

—and three, Luke was right.

Annabeth’s plan took the rules of Capture the Flag and threw them out the window. She split the team into four subgroups, each with a delegated leader. Luke nodded along as she talked, marking the map with a stubby pencil. 

When Annabeth’s eyes, dark and piercing, searched the crowd and landed on you, you felt your heart stop.

“You,” she said, “are you good with a sword?”

You raised your eyebrow, pointing to yourself—just to confirm this genius child was speaking to you—and Annabeth nodded. 

“I guess?” You said, shrugging. “I know some basic stuff, and I’m good at disarming.”

Annabeth’s face broke into a smile. “Work with Luke on the first wave of offense.” She gestured to the map. “You two will take points B and B-one,” she explained. “My group will take the A-points. You wait for our signal to move in.”

You met Luke’s eyes across the table. Hey, you mouthed. 

His eyes flicked up and down your form. Hey, he mouthed back. You ready to win?

You smiled and nodded.

Good, Luke said, all teeth. Let’s go.

He stood and grabbed his helmet. You did the same.

“I’m [Y/N],” you said as you followed Luke through the forest. “We, uh—we met when I first got here, like, a year ago.” I was sobbing my eyes out because my mother abandoned me, you didn’t add. It was kind of pathetic. I think I threw up from crying so hard.

You suddenly hoped Luke didn’t remember meeting you, actually. That would be less embarrassing.

He turned and caught your eye. “You live in the same cabin as me. ‘Course I know you.” 

Of course he remembers.

You laughed, flushing red. “Oh. Yeah. Of course.”

The silence was so thick, you could have cut it with the sleek bronze of your sword.

In the end, it was Luke who broke the silence. “You wanna play a game while we wait out here?”

You shrugged. “Sure,” you said. 

“Twenty questions,” Luke replied. “So we can learn enough about each other to actually work together.” He smiled. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Low-hanging fruit,” you said, your voice just barely taking on a teasing tone. “It’s green.” 

Luke laughed, loud and full and bright. “Apologies,” he said; mirth crept into his words, staining everything with a tinge of that laughter. “I’ll go for the more gut-wrenching, intimate questions next time.”

You flushed red again. Intimate questions. What the hell does he mean by that?

“My turn,” you said instead. “What do you want to be when you get older?”

“We’ll be heroes,” Luke whispers. “Real heroes. Not figureheads propped up by the gods.”

You wish you could believe him. He’s lying on the beach next to you, his head resting in the junction between your shoulder and your neck. Over the treetops, the stars are beginning to fade from the sky.

It’s almost time.

Your throat feels like someone has sanded it down to expose your vocal cords. This is a bad idea, you want to say. We shouldn’t do this. Tell me we can still not do this. 

“Wanna play twenty questions?” You say, crackling and hoarse.

Luke turns to look at you. “Yeah,” he murmurs. 

“My turn first,” you whisper. Luke nods.

You take a deep breath, in and out. “Are we going to die doing this?”

Luke inhales sharply. “Maybe,” he says. Slowly. Deliberately. “But we’ll do everything we can to make sure we don’t.”

“I got another question,” you say. Luke raises an eyebrow. His knuckles brush yours as you sit up.

“Are you scared?”

It’s your birthday. 

You think you’re going to die. 

Luke is kneeling over you, the palm of his hand pressed against the wet opening in your stomach where someone had caught you with a spear. The shaft of it is still sticking out of you, you think. You’re afraid to look down, afraid to see it. 

“No,” Luke gasps, “no, no, no.”

You watch as the gold fades from his eye, leaving behind the honey-dark brown you remember. His hands are slick with blood—most of it’s probably yours, it has to be yours. You’re bleeding out, after all. 

You tug on Luke’s sleeve weakly. “Hey,” you breathe. “Luke. It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“No,” he says. “You’re—you’re hurt.”

“I know,” you rasp. “I know it hurts. I’m the one—” 

You break off as a cough sticks in your throat. It feels wet. Oily. Desperate to get out. You taste the blood in the back of your throat before you can even take another breath.

“—I’m the one who’s feeling it,” you finish, your voice tilting up at the end. A joke. Gods, your sense of humor is dark.

Luke laughs weakly. “Don’t talk,” he says. “You’re gonna be just fine, [Y/N], just fine.”

He meets your eyes. You see him realize it in slow motion.

Tell him. Tell him now. He’s never going to know otherwise—he could die any minute—

“Luke,” you murmur. “Luke, did you know I loved you?”

He freezes. “What?”

You cough again. Blood spills over your lips. “I loved you,” you repeat. “Since we were campers. Had the…the biggest, stupidest crush on you.”

Luke shakes his head. “No, no,” he says. “You—”

“You’re my best friend,” you continue. “Whatever feelings were there, you’re my best friend.”

Luke’s palm against your stomach is warm. It feels safe. It feels like sleeping side-by-side in the cabin, like shared meals and shared secrets. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Luke says, “why are you—why?”

You blink, just once, but it takes everything you have to open your eyes again after closing them. “Because I’m going to die,” you whisper. “And even if—even though I moved on, I wanted you to…to know.”

Luke bows over your body, pressing his forehead to yours. Tears slip from his cheeks and fall onto yours, driving little rivers through the blood smeared there.

He’s crying. Why is he—

“You idiot,” Luke says brokenly. “I loved you too. I loved you too.” He cradles your head in his lap, brushing your hair away from your face. “[Y/N], I’m so sorry.”

Your eyes slip shut.

I loved you too, Luke’s voice echoes. I loved you too.

[thelaurenshippen]

Hello again Lauren! I just wanted to say I really enjoyed this journey with Breaker Whiskey and admire the commitment to have it produced how it was for as long as you did.

I first found Atypical Artists via The Bright Sessions and The AM Archives with my friend as it reminded us vaguely of The Magnus Archives in the sense the interviews of Dr. Joan Bright and her patients had reminded us of the audio transcripts performed by Jonathan Simms of The Magnus Institute, albeit less focused on ghost stories and the like.

I had also found Breaker Whiskey through a tiktok where it had immediately reminded me of one of my favorite story-based games, Oxenfree, where the characters solve what happened on an island while dealing with interpersonal relationships, communication with ghosts, and demonic possession with the main theme being radio transmission (hence the parallel of otherworldly apocalyptic environments focused around a lonely woman and her CB transmissions)

The story telling hooked me almost immediately, where you could see the transmissions being as an audio journal to ground Whiskey as she travels an empty world by herself, knowing there may be people out there but having little to no hope in that the transmissions become little more than something to focus your thoughts and give some sort of feeling that you aren't alone, something to keep you sane as you deal with the unimaginable loneliness for as long as you have. It is a great look on both the coping mechanisms of loneliness and the expression of both joy and fear of finding out someone is out there and you know nothing about them.

I am personally a fan of the first person narrative as well where you don't need all of the exposition and background, but instead it is fed to you over time or via context clues. Learning about the environment of the story as it progresses vs being handed a dictionary outside of the characters perception.

At any rate, I am rambling. I am a fan of your work, the storytelling, and the experiences you give via the characters you share both in how they are created and how they interact. I definitely plan on listening to more from you and your company and thank you for sharing everything you do!

oh my goodness, thank you SO much for this message!!!! I love that TMA brought you to the world of TBS - it always makes me so happy when one audio drama gets people into more of them. and the fact that you saw BW on tiktok also thrills me! I'm still figuring out how the hell to use tiktok so I'm glad its doing something.

and omg, I LOVE OXENFREE. I played a lot of video games as a kid/young teenager and then fell off of them completely until I was in my mid-twenties. Oxenfree got me back into video games in a big way and I owe it so much for that, as now gaming is a huge part of my life. I really think it's a perfect game.

it means so much to me that you like my work and the way I've told this story!! thank you so much for listening <3

[spockandawe]

@curlicuecal tagged me into the post meme about ten songs! I'll go ahead and post ten songs by ten artists that I've been particularly fixated on lately, it's all personal bias all the way down, babey

Colm McGuinness: Sleeping In The Cold Below - Let's start off with a representative sample, my head is filled with folk and filk and irish and shanties, just check out this artist for a clear breakdown of my tastes, because I could fill out the whole list with just this man's work. Musically speaking, if I could grow up to be anyone, it would be HIM. I yearn so hard for his instrument collection and vocal range, even if I'm operating in different octaves.

Malinda: Dúlamán - Feels slightly like cheating, because I'm fairly sure I found her through Colm McGuinness (the Hoist The Colors collab), but god, her voice is DIVINE, and she's got a fantastic balance of trad covers and newer music. Songs in gaelic can be tricky to rec, even if I'm about to do it again, but some of them just have so much bewitching LIFE that I can't resist.

Celtic Woman: Téir Abhaile Riú - I have to tell you, it was both disorienting and delightful when this started getting used as a sound in tiktoks. The short excerpt is good, but the whole song is so much fun! I know it's kind of redundant to talk up Irish songs as being catchy as hell, but this is really such a good one.

The Longest Johns: On The Railroad - Speaking of catchy... I'm a basic binch, give me a train song that sounds like a train, and I'm all over that to an embarrassing degree. Skimbleshanks isn't going to be on here, but only because it'd be cheating, I wasn't thinking about it until I started thinking about why I like this. And you get a train song that's ALSO a work song? Hell yes, gimme

Great Big Sea: Process Man - I agonized over what Great Big Sea song to include (old black rum? donkey riding? excursion around the bay?) but this is truly such a classic, it's so catchy and memorable. And it's great if you're feeling like an exploited #resource at your day job!

The High Kings: McAlpine's Fusiliers - Speaking of being an exploited, expendable resource, ONE LAST IRISH SONG. But I can't leave this out! The High Kings are so good, but McAlpine's Fusiliers is the CATCHIEST melody line by any artist. I am typing slowly because I have no choice to sing along since I opened the video to get the url, send help

Hozier: The Humours Of Whiskey - You know I really intended to have other flavors of music on here too, but. Again, the song is too catchy for me to resist. This is only a partial cover of the full song, because he's just doing it offhand. But his voice is so perfect and the delivery so flawless, I live for this 52 second clip, haha

Delta Rae: Bottom Of The River - Technically I am showing a little more range than previous entries have done, but uh, I know that's only barely/technically true. But there's so much good stuff in this weird corner! And my mainest criteria for how much I like music is how fun it is to sing along, and this is seriously peak singalong content.

The Merry Wives Of Windsor: Siuil A Run: Oh no, another gaelic title. But it's also partly in english, and this is another song I'll listen to by anyone who covers it, and another group where I'll listen to any music they produce! I recommend their entire back catalog, very strongly. Fair warning they have a notable bawdy portion of their catalog, but I'm being good and not linking something like 'come roll me away,' or 'the cockerel song,' so you can listen without fear. But they are SUCH a fun group, I love them to bits.

Mary Black: Colcannon - Ah, screw it, I have a brand. Let's wrap it up with a song that's literally about potatoes! Also an impossibly catchy melody. This song has been stuck in my head since it absolutely Ruined me with homesickness back in grad school. And you know what, I'm also linking this bonus version with worse audio, but it's a 1986 recording of the black family on tv. There's just something about watching irish singing that makes me LIVE.

--

oh no, tagging people. I'm chickening out, sorry. If you want to do it and point your finger at me, go for it! but it's been a long week and I contracted a bad case of the Shy it looks like

[lebihanto-universe-blog]

Be Irresistible, Click Here Relationship Tik Toks That Are Worth Watching! Leave a Like if you enjoyed and can relate to some of these tiktok memes! hello friends it's me today we're going to be watching some more chick talks couples edition all right let me show y'all what it's like to live with the woman they like to use your hair brush when they got their own the clothes oh yeah the clothes they never stop they use 4 billion bottles when i have just two i shouldn't complain but i am anyways i find a new one at least once a week all right now you explain this to me look at this i got a 2 000 couch and she's laying on the floor the floor does be hidden different sometimes sometimes i'm sick of the cat but also guys are gonna complain about their girlfriends taking up too much space in the apartment while their apartment be looking like this or this and this just chair this is all they need hey babe do you think you might wanna oh i love this anime filter and i love that sound when they do that sound an anime i'm just like oh oh wait let me put my face on hold mommy it's either the game or me so pep and then she goes it's either the game or me so pep oh no she's just like no i'm really mad she sent her to the gulag some of these girls cocky y'all really thought you could compete with warzone this guy's girlfriend was so indecisive about where she wants to eat he made a whole entire tournament bracket to find a place to eat pick one chick-fil-a or wingstop chick-fil-a okay pick one in and out of burger king in and out okay pick one jack of the box for mcdonald's mcdonald's domino's or papa john's come on dominos this is why we have this this is why we have this what does she end up picking this is actually genius i don't know versus mcdonald's fight to the death to figure out what we're gonna have for dinner today my dude over here is a genius single-handedly solve the girlfriend dining dilemma thank you so much here you are all right you know we're missing part of the order though what do you need well my daughter asked for a boyfriend oh absolutely uh would you like to date my daughter yeah that's free on the side what is your name i'm lucas lucas thanks lucas see you buddy love you wow imagine take a second and imagine that your crush ends up liking you back wow safe like right now for a hot second i thought he looked dead in the eye and was like absolutely i'm so used to hearing absolutely not imagine your dad being your wingman hello oh this is destiny oh my god we're having twins yes i always wanted twins stop playing oh my god that's so exciting my husband's gonna be so happy oh no yeah i thought we were having one kid how we end up with two imagine throwing this fit at the doctor's office point to the air when she wake up and you on the game and not in bed with her you just don't do this or you you don't get caught this actually makes girls upsetting spaghetti i went to sleep i thought you were coming to sleep with me you still not in bed i mean i play games too but this is annoying why because they gonna turn on the bathroom light and flush the toilet while you're trying to sleep so guys are using this audio on tick tock to make it seem like a girl is calling them while their girlfriend is in the room um you meant to call me i thought you said she was with your girl are you not with her no more you love me sure she looked like she was having a bad day she really got up about to 360 snatch that phone and i realized it was a tick tock got him this is a bed this is my boyfriend this is the spot he chose i decided to come in and i lay he rolls over oh my god look at all this space you have you're taking up the bed blah blah blah i'm sorry you chose the spot maybe if you laid here i would lay here but you can't argue with stupid you know i really sat and thought here for an argument against this but no it's true but if he laid there would you still lay there or you know what solves this if you evolved into a back sleeper and

then everybody can just have their own pillow and coexist in peace and harmony i just feel like you could have been nicer to me oh my gosh well i feel like you could have done any more things today than you did i feel like i woke up and i cleaned our room i did our bed i cleaned the sheets i did the laundry i put your clothes away i come in the kitchen nothing's done so i do everything then i make you breakfast and i get the baby ready then i get myself ready and what do you do michael you just tell me i could have been hacked whoa calm down it's a tick-tock trip she actually pressed over this i mean i would do the same if you looked you could have been nicer today well i feel like you could have done any more things today god i'm all excited to move in with my boyfriend swapping manly stars and in the morning i'm making waffles but i realize all he does is go to work play xbox and go on his phone stop singing that's really how it be you know really ain't all hyped up as you think it is better buy yourself a switch like what did y'all expect people got work baby i know you just woke up but i got you something that you've always wanted but the only way you can get is if you're blindfolded okay are you ready only a guy would use a tube top as a blindfold you're going to be so happy just watch okay come this way go slowly back to winter i'm so scared are we out here it's okay just wait you'll be you'll be so happy i'm so scared why are we outside i haven't been outside in years why would you take me here i could pick you up for this stuff okay okay just trust me you just have to trust me on this all right all right i really ready three two one surprise i really think she hasn't been outside in months if you play that slow-mo she done grabbed him by the scalp and pulled him in no i'm going down you coming down with me babe ask me what i would do if we would break up what would you do i would go back with my ex then go with him no straight up why are you with me if you were doing it why would you why are you waiting you idiot oh i started this unnecessary fight for no reason now i feel dumb but yeah you break up with your boyfriend you get back with your ex but your boyfriend becomes your ex plot twist simply terrifying hey babe i'm thinking about just you know getting really skinny absolutely not don't you take my cuddles from me being chubby here hubby someone was like dang guess there is hope for us big guys of course there is you just have to be funny so i've been coming to this pizza place for a while with this really cute work and i decided to ask her out so i gave her my number and i said she's cute so when she got close enough i gave her the no and she said i have a boyfriend man all that set up to get rejected i mean you had no idea right so i decided to eat my wings but then i remembered i was the boyfriend oh yet another plot twist oh you got me with that one she was the girlfriend the whole time you know i'm at work gotta play hard to get until my shift's over and i'm all yours why are you acting so nervous and why are you sweating so much and no no way it's not what you think this is a big misunderstanding you've got to believe me i listen i am telling you you better listen to me i got a glimpse of the caption casually sitting on my boyfriend's lap for the first time and then i heard the audio and i'm like wait this sponge robin squidward it's just so perfect i ain't gonna say it smash like if you get it if you don't you're too young for this app daddy can you get in the back what can you get in the back oh you don't have to kill me twice no i was into this book no did you get the bag bro you know i brought the damn bag you really thought she said daddy get in the bag no did you get my bag my dude ran hopped into the back seat bro the only thing we riding is in this car hey babe yeah what's up if you were like out and a random girl started hitting on you what would you do i'll play the girl i'll play the golf okay you

sure you wanna do this yeah okay sounds good yes there we go yeah ready mm-hmm i really like your necklace it's like dang my dream just went in for it also people really got the balls to flip like that like i like your necklace i would have thought somebody was trying to rob me if they slap my grab my necklace like that no thank you so did she just find out he was a cheater or is it because it's his girlfriend already so it doesn't really count maybe he's just a bad actor or maybe he's a good actor because this is staged imagine getting married and for your wedding gift you know besides a wedding ring and a wedding you get a brand new car not only do you get a brand new car you get a brand new amg wagon g63 and she's like i can't i can't sorry i can't accept this we ran out of garage space or something sugar daddy goals me lying down on my boyfriend i feel like this happens to me my tummy is the one that goes and that's on digestive issues put a finger down if your boyfriend's rude to you put a finger down if your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore put a finger down if you think your boyfriend should go get you an iced coffee because he's rude was that the whole point of this how to get your boyfriend to get your iced coffee bully him into thinking he's rude and that he should buy you a pumpkin spice latte hacks i guess babe have you been using this yes why where on my face because it's for sensitive skin plus it smells nice oh i know this guy he's the coochie man you finna turn into one if you keep using that on your face so sneaky my boyfriend will never notice me right in the kitchen do you not like telepathically sense each other's presence all right he got it just a few winches off but anyways that's all for today i hope you guys enjoyed this video if you did make sure that like button and make sure you turn on notifications click click and subscribe join wolf pack i love you guys so much thanks for watching bye guys ...

[teddypickle]

uh oh the period time hormonal emotional fucked in the head vibes are starting albeit being one week late 🤭 cue that annoying tiktok audio “oh how i love being a woman “

[universalintrovert]

me scrolling through tiktok hearing the audio ‘oh how i love being a woman’ whilst sat by the toilet because my period is making me throw up every ten minutes

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 304

Exodus/Arachnids in the UK

“Exodus”

Plot Description: In apocalypse world, several family reunions yield varying results. Sam and Dean attempt to plan a mass escape through the rift

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died

I know this is has always been about family drama but they turned it up a notch

I love how many times Sam says he’ll handle someone and then he doesn’t….this time about Lucifer

Poor Jack ☹️

I don’t like how Lucifer is looking at Mary——she’s not gonna go back with the boys?

Oh no….oh! Right! The entire premise of this episode…Sam was agreeing with Mary’s decision, but only partially. He still wants her back home but in order to get that, they have to make this world…not the apocalypse, but they’re gonna regroup in our world

Why would Cas leave Jack with Lucifer?! Like, let them talk, sure, Jack deserves to know about this half of his genetics…but keep them supervised!

Why is this plan so bad? Why does Bobby think that?

There’s an audio used on tiktok about how much hotter some men get when their whole life falls apart. I still hate Ketch, but…it’s not untrue about him

There’s an evil Castiel here?!

Oh, they’re gonna be doing practically the same thing. Cas getting info from the guy who set up Charlie and Ketch, and evil Cas doing the same but worse TO Charlie and Ketch

“I’ve known you since the stars were made” is such a good line, you’d think it was from Good Omens between the ineffable husbands, but it’s Gabriel telling Lucifer that he (L) can’t change and is incapable of love and empathy

Damn, Gabe. A little harsh.

What is this voice, Misha? It almost sounds German?

Watching Cas kill evil Cas sure was something. That’s a new poll, would you kill your clone?

Charlie and Ketch got rescued…AND everyone decided to go through the rift? What’s a gonna go wrong?! This is the penultimate episode of the season. Things are going to smoothly

This is unexpectedly sage and decent advice Lucifer is giving to Jack…

Roro strengthening the rift 💖

Of COURSE once it’s down to just a few, Michael shows up

Is Gabriel dead for good now?! Nooooo

Well, at least Michael and Lucifer are locked away in apocalypse world…….for now

SOMEONE CHECK ON JACK!!!! Y’all are celebrating too much and he’s just lost his uncle and dad (the second one only sort of) and didn’t even kill his other uncle, like he promised he would do

Yeah, I kind of figured Lucifer would propose a team up with Michael. This can’t go well

“Arachnids in the UK”

Plot Description: something is very wrong with the spiders in Sheffield. The Doctor and friends investigate

This man who seems to be a stand in for the US president is VERY obviously a very certain recent one, and after last episode, I just don’t know that England needs to be saying so much about the US’s history and politics when they’re no better

The dance the Doctor does every time they want to invite a new companion is so funny. They have to make it seem like they’re lonely enough to like some company but not enough that they’re desperate for it. Though Thirteen immediately being down for tea at Yaz’s is a nice change from past iterations

Doc, you could get a sofa for the TARDIS. You don’t have to do small talk like this

Ohhhhhhhhh Yaz’s mom was the woman that dude fired

Oh Graham…no, it’s HARD going back to a place you shared with someone you recently lost

I know they’re trying to make the webs ominous, but it’s not working. Well, ok. That’s TOO many cobwebs. It’s still not scary

When that same thing happened to Frodo, it was a lot scarier. That spider might not be Shelob size, but it’s way bigger than your average Australian one

Oooo, what’s Ryan’s beef with his dad?

I thought for a moment the hotel owner (who no longer seems to actually be the president but is still very reminiscent of said former president) was involved in the spider thing, and maybe he still is, just funding more than hands on

If the spiders weren’t fucking huge, no one would care

LIVING for Ryan doing shadow puppets while the Doctor and this scientist discuss the abnormal behaviors the spiders have been exhibiting

I have had it with these morherfucking spiders in this motherfucking town

No. No. Absolutely not. Why is it GIGANTIC?! That’s…WAY bigger than the other ones

This dude is so fucking pathetic, and not in the good way

I am now way too aware of anything that’s remotely tickling me. Megumi doesn’t help

He’s not president but he’s planning on running for president

That dude should not have a gun…

We already knew he was a terrible and sleazy businessman, but metaphorically washing his hands by saying he just signs the contracts…I wanna punch him

Yaz’s dad is gonna be so funny when they get out of this

I cannot wait for this episode to be over. I can deal with regular sized spiders, but this is……it’s too many and they’re too big

I love when they choose to go with the Doctor. It’s always such a heartwarming scene

[sanjisblackasswife]

(FLUFF/NSFW) Let’s Talk About: Gojo Having a Black Girlfriend/Wife

Fluff

This mf loves black women

Look at him

Ultimate light skin

We all know Gege said he wouldn’t be good in a relationship.

However it’s not because he’s a cheater

Why do people aim him to be a red flag do y’all even know anything about this man’s true character

But to circumstance .

But let’s say he can have a partner.

You are the first and only candidate for this man and if you turn him down he may hit on Geto

I HC Gojo as straight but I still enjoy making jokes about him and Geto being a couple

A lot of women threw themselves at Gojo but you didn’t .

Not to say you were not like other girls oh no

You wanted to sit on his cock too, but you had a standard of yourself

Tbh Gojo as a boyfriend would be like having a little brother.

He annoys

Your entire well being.

Takes your wigs (if you wear em) and plays Megan thee Stallion in the bathroom

Bro is the type to use that audio “I was out nigga’d and I will never be out nigga’d again” when he records himself braiding your hair

He braids amazingly btw

Speaking of TikTok yes he is TT Famous and y’all have an account together

Bro does damn near every couple trend just to show you off.

I’d also like to add Gojo didn’t start off showing you off you actually hid y’all relationship from anybody for about a year

He told you off rip he didn’t want many people to know about you just yet becasue he knew you’d probably be a target. If you didn’t agree to that then it’s curtains for your relationship

But since you were so understanding Gojo actually cherished that.

Hiding the relationship wasn’t that hard. He was a busy man and you were a busy woman so if anybody saw y’all together it was pretty rare.

Lowkey killed him though after a few months because he really wanted to do some PDA.

LOVES PDA

Love love LOVE

Lingering touches, butt slaps, kisses, whatever he loves it.

If you’re not into it he’ll try some self restraint but don’t get mad if he loses his mind when y’all get home

Would love to have kids with you!

“I’d call them my 2 piece and a biscuit.”

“The hell is wrong with you.”

“Little mocha babies…”

“CAN YOU—-“

Loves calling you mama(s) or mommy

If you like it it’s fine but if you don’t it’s worse because then he’ll keep going

Despite his confidence he can be very insecure sometimes

You didn’t even know this man could have such a low view of himself but that was about 2 years into the relationship he finally revealed the real him

Yes two years and that’s if y’all already been friends years prior to going out

He doesn’t open up easy but he learns to trust you

Some days he comes back to exhausted and mentally drained but he keeps a fake smile for you.

But you Seen right through his BS.

You don’t try and push any issues too far but you show with action you’re there. Some days you just grab him and place him on top of you on the couch, take off his blindfold and rub his back and hair

He’s gotten real emotional a few times when you did it, mostly because you’ve done it on days he just needed a hug.

You’re his literal teddy bear because of this.

He’s 6’7” so he towers over you when he slings his body on top of yours. He also throws you around a lot

“PUT ME DOWN MF—AH!”

He’ll pull your shorts down and give you brown booty a nice slap before rubbing it a little

“Shut up we’re taking a nap.”

Gojo really loves how you cook btw

Moreso what you bake

Mans has a sweet tooth out of this world so if you are a baker you’re now his personal chef.

Also don’t think the love you have for him is one sided he definitely shows his love for you too. He may be an ass sometimes but he’s an amazing listener.

His advice is usually what’s helps you best. Granted it’s not always what you wanna hear but Gojo is an exceptional listener and observer so if you ever feel bad it doesn’t go unnoticed by him

Can I also add y’all have so many inside jokes omg

The amount of references y’all can do in a conversation is so amazingly scary

Also once a month or so Gojo looks for a new show for you both to binge, and discuss about

Y’all are currently watching Hunter x Hunter together

“Killua would be an excellent student of mine.”

“He’d hate you.”

Dating him is like dating your best friend.

Gojo really likes to just have dates at home, you both cook together, play some video games , and just joke around

Not to say he won’t take you out he most definitely will though.

“I got you this dress be ready by 9…and don’t wear panties.”

“HELLO—“

Nsfw

Gojo is a pervert…he really is.

You didn’t know how bad it was when he was once really drunk and showed you his photo gallery to show you some memes he saved but accidentally showed the album of lewd photos of you on there.

“Oh! Ooooh! Oh this wasn’t the video…haha.”

A whole video of him recording you getting pounded from the back

“SATO—?!”

“Sorry…you look hot though lookit!”

Panty sniffer

Panty stealer

Takes the panties you wear when you’re on your period to replace them with thongs

“My pad wont fit—“

“It’s okay just wear a towel.”

You hate him sm

He casually makes remarks about sex

Like just randomly on a Thursday morning during breakfast

“Baby tonight when you suck my dick can you also sit on my face? I promise you’re not heavy.”

Like mf we are eating French Toast watching Sponegbob what’s wrong with you.

Speaking of being heavy he likes to pick you up and fuck you on the wall

Like

ALOT

He is most definitely the “Gentle lover but fucks you like a beast” trope

Wont admit it but loves eating your ass

He does very long licks when eating you from the back just to lick you ALLLLL THE WAY.

He has asked if you wanted to get your pussy pierced too.

He seen it in a porno and thought it’d look so hot on you.

“But—“

“No.”

Still asks like once a week

Gojo is a Butt man.

That’s why he loves doggy style with you.

The way your pretty melanin is so shiny and wet jiggling off of Gojo’s pelvis makes him so turned on he sometimes can’t last too long

“Fuck baby I’m cuming!” He whines as he slams behind you harder gripping at your thick hair.

His hand is never not on your butt

Ok one more thing on him being a pervert

He really likes taking pictures of you

Like ALOT

Sometimes you’ll know and other you won’t

Which are his favorite.

He has a few videos of you touching yourself without your knowledge and because of this he has 2 phones, one for when he’s out and that other phone hidden where nobody can steal it.

Really wants to make a sex tape with you

Like so bad

He doesn’t even use porn anymore to jack off he’d rather look at a video of you moaning his name

He’ll never admit it but he wants to be dominated by you so bad skshdhdiek

Why do you think he’s so teasing?

Your attitude is the most attractive thing about you and seeing you possibly snap at him one day and have him crying for more is something he hopes for you to do.

Also wanna know what he gave you for your birthday?

A dildo that was molded into the same shape of his dick

“Here! So then when I’m away you can help yourself!…still not as good as the real thing though eh eh.”

This mf is a menace.

[traveler-at-heart]

One wedding (and an almost funeral)

Summary: A brief sequel to “Own My Heart”. Natasha is your plus one to your friend’s wedding.

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

A/N: Heavy on the dialogue and silliness, this is really because I kinda love writing Ali interacting with Natasha and R, so here it is. Also, happy Friday! *collapses in a tower of paperwork*

Weddings were not your favorite thing to do. Especially with the looming threat of Ali getting wasted. But Natasha was going to be your plus one. You were surprised she kept insisting on going; at first, it seemed like she only wanted to go to make sure Callie didn’t try anything.

“We’re not doing pre-wedding shots” you said by way of answering your phone, thinking it was Ali.

“Well, that’s disappointing” Nat chuckled. “Oh. Hey, baby” you laughed, but then heard the background noise. There was screaming and fighting, with the occasional explosion. “What did we say about calling while on missions?” “That it’s fine” she lied, and you could hear a man grunting, followed by a loud thud. “Listen, I’ll meet you at the reception, ok? I’m aiming for the end of the ceremony but not sure” “Always late” you teased. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it on time for our own wedding” “You… what?” “Gotta go!” “Grenade incoming” you heard Steve say. “Did Cap say grenade?!” Natasha ended the call and you huffed. Life with an Avenger was something else. ---- “So, when they’re out of the church, you’ll record me and I’ll use the Wendy Williams audio, because…” “Ali, must you really? Your TikTok career can wait until we’re done with the ceremony” Ashlee had two sisters and three cousins, so she was completely covered in the bridesmaids front. All you had to do was sit inside the church and cheer for her and her future husband. Except your best friend was explaining her idea for what she thought would be her viral video. “Fancy meeting you here” a voice said behind you. Callie looked expectantly and you waved, standing close to Ali. “Oh, hi! You ready to be a maid of honor?” “Do I get to dance with the bride’s best woman?” she said playfully and you smiled. Everyone went inside the church and you sighed, relieved. “Good luck!” Ali gave her a thumbs up as all the bridesmaids made a queu for the entrance. “She doesn’t know you’re dating a literal assassin, does she?” “Ex-assassin” you cleared up, finding a seat for both of you. “Oh, that’s what you care out of all the things I said” “I just hope Callie gets the hint when Nat gets here and she doesn’t get crazy jealous like last time” “Yeah, as if you don’t want to get railed against a wall. You know, like last time” Ali mocked but before you had a chance to answer, there was a loud gasp behind you. “Aunt Tessa” you greeted Ashlee’s elder aunt. Was she her grandmother’s cousin? Either way she looked horrified. “So happy to see you again” you turned back and hissed, smacking your friend with your hand. “Must you always be this idiotic?” “Sorry” she said, trying to stiffle a loud laugh. Luckily, the music began and everyone stood up. Aside from the awkward moment here and there, the ceremony went well. Callie was looking your way more than once, which made you break out a sweat. “Oh, you’re getting railed alright” Ali mocked. Aunt Tessa passed out behind you. “Yeah, ok, that was my bad” your friend apologized, trying to get her to wake up. “She needs some air” she said to one of Ashley’s cousins. Luckily, the rest of the ceremony went without a hiccup. “Get ready to make me famous” Ali pressed, pushing you to the exit to make her video. You were in place, your phone up. Just as she was turning to say the line, strong arms wrapped around you, turning you and finding your lips. “Hey, detka” “Hi” you said, flustered at how close she was. “Did I miss anything?” “Just Ali being her usual self” “Did you get it?” your friend turned to you. “You useless lesbian!” “What? Nat distracted me!” “Hey!” “That’s ok. I have a better idea for the party” she grabbed her phone and then looked at the redhead. Oh no. You knew that look. “Or I could make a video with you because you are famous already. You know like that trend of a scary girl walking behind someone else with that song” “What song?” you feigned ignorance. “That laaa-laaa, babushka babushka” You squealed before laughing like a maniac and it was Ali’s turn to smack you. “Jerk” “She wants to be a famous TikToker” you explained Natasha when you could breathe again. “I have fifteen followers already” Ali bragged and you made a face, gasping. “Oh, that’s three more than Jesus when he started” Callie interrupted before your friend had a chance to reply. “You need a ride?” “She has someone to ride” Natasha snapped, looking intently at the other woman. “Battle of the lesbians” Ali whispered. “Yeah, see you at the reception” you stood between them, taking Natasha’s hand. Once Ashley’s cousin left, you turned back and looked at her. “Behave” “I am” you pouted when she frowned. “Let’s continue this conversation on our way to the reception, yes?” Natasha took your hand, kissing it softly. “Yeap” you managed to say, enthralled by her emerald eyes. “Ugh” Ali gagged as you walked to the car. ---- You were hoping for better luck at the reception, but as soon as you sat down, you realised Callie was at the same table. “Hide the knives” Ali whispered as you were introducing your friends to Natasha. “The famous Natasha!” Nia, one of your friends from college said. “Famous? I don’t recall hearing about her at the bachelorette party” Callie said, almost too casually, sipping from her glass. “No? Because at that party she ended up with her legs around my…” “Cheers! To the happy couple and to Ali’s TikTok account” you squealed, raising your own glass. “Yes, a toast to me, user Hor3chata69” After you drank, it was impossible to stop Ali from talking to Natasha, mainly about the things that you were hoping were kept a secret. “You know, we’ve been friends since we were 9. I’ve been by her side during the firsts. Kiss, sex, period. Not in that order, obviously. Though one time in college…” “Shut up, or we’ll have our first fist fight” you warned and Natasha smiled. “Putting those self defense lessons to good use, I see” she complimented, her hand squeezing your leg. Your mind went to the few times she tried to teach you some moves and you ended up underneath her, panting and sweaty. Natasha must have read your mind, because she smiled, her eyes going down to your lips. “I should also warn you that we made a pact to get married if we’re single by the time we’re 40” “No, we didn’t” you turned to Ali. “Spring break at Miami” “I wasn’t even there” “Huh. Who did I gave my spinster hand to, then?” Before Ali had the chance to spiral into calling absolutely everyone that was on that trip, the celebration began. There were speeches, their first dance as a married couple and lastly, Ashley was throwing her bouquet. You watched from your seat when Callie caught it, her eyes immediately finding you. Natasha wrapped her arm around you shoulder. She tensed up as the other woman walked up to you. “Oh my God, is it you? Are you the drama?” Ali said, getting sloppier as she kept drinking. “Shut up” you snapped but turned to Callie when she sat next to you. “Congrats” “Here” she gave you a flower and you accepted it with a small smile. Before Callie could say anything else, Natasha pulled you to your feet. “Let’s dance” she explained. You both looked back at Ali, who was ordering another drink. “She’ll be fine” “You don’t know her like I do” There were some cheesy songs, but Natasha led you gracefully through all of them. “What?” she quirked her eyebrow at your grin. “You really are a great dancer. And a good wedding date. I’m keeping you” “You’ve got moves too” she whispered in your ear and a shiver ran down your spine. “Think I didn’t see you that night at the club? All I could think about was pressing you against…” “Ali” you snapped when you didn’t see your friend. “Huh?” Natasha glanced around the room. “Alright, let’s split. I’ll go to the bathroom and you go to the bar” “Copy that, Agent Romanoff” No sign of Ali. You were about to return to find Natasha when Callie stood in the way. “She just went to find her jacket” the woman explained. “I swear she’s gonna kill me with worry one day” “Hey, at least I got you alone for a second” the woman winked, approaching you. “Listen, Callie…” “I know, I know. You have a girlfriend but let’s be real for a second…” “No. I mean, I don’t know. We haven’t talked about being girlfriends” “I think you deserve to be with someone who tells you exactly what you two are” she moved closer, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Hands. Off” Natasha appeared, squeezing herself between you two. “Ok, easy there. Callie, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested” you said peeking over Natasha, pulling the redhead away from Ashlee’s cousin. “And you, come on. Let’s get some air.”

You walked in silence for a few minutes, but she never let go of your hand. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t like the way she touched you” she said once you were away from everyone. “That’s ok. I wasn’t very comfortable with that either but she said some things that caught me off guard” “What things?” “She called you my girlfriend and then I realised… I don’t know if you are” you took her hands in yours, leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek. “I thought we were… I mean, should I have asked? I’m sorry, you know I’ve never done this before” “It’s ok, I should have said something. And for the record, I do want to be your girlfriend” You leaned forward to kiss her, feeling her smile against your lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I ask if you want to marry me before sliding the ring…” Your lips kept her quiet. Just thinking that Natasha was seeing a future together made you swoon. But you also recognised that look as she led you back to the party, going for the bathroom. “Nat” you pleaded when she locked the door and pushed you against the counter. After a few hurried kisses, she turned you so your back was to her front. You looked at your image in the mirror as she bit and kissed your neck and shoulder, her hand lifting your dress to get better access… “This one goes to all the single people” you heard your best friend say outside. To everyone. In front of the mic. “Ali, no!” you pushed yourself up, and exited the bathroom, Natasha close behind you. Ali was already singing CPR, and that’s probably what Ashlee’s aunt would need if your friend got to finish the first verse. “Ain't no laying down man we 'bout to have late fun. I'm 'bout to make your balls stick up like space buns” Ali sang. Damn it. Natasha tackled her a second too late.

-----

You woke to the smell of fresh coffee. Knowing Natasha, she’d already been out for a run, had a shower and probably even saved the world. “Morning” she greeted, looking at her phone with a frown. “Hello” you kissed her cheek and pushed your nose along her jaw. “Missed you in bed” “Something specific?” she quirked her eyebrows and you forced her to put the phone down. “Nasty” “Oh?” “I mean Wordle. That’s the word for the day” you clarified and she rolled her eyes, annoyed at the fact you always beat her to it. Laughing against her lips, you deepened the kiss until she opened her mouth, her tongue and teeth exploring. A moan escaped your lips when her hand slid down, going past your shorts to squeeze your ass. “Ew! Get a room!” Ali shouted from the couch. “Hey, this is my apartment. All the rooms are mine to do this” “Interesting proposition” Natasha murmured. “Yes, well…” you blushed, going to sit next to your friend. She sighed, and frankly, looked like shit after getting wasted. “Did I sing?” you nodded. “Was it dirty?” “Horrible. Ali, I think it’s time for an intervention” you said, looking at your hands. “I do not have a drinking problem” “I mean for you to shut the fuck up. We’ve all heard enough” “You’re a bit…” “Shhh” you placed your finger on her lips. “Take a vow of silence. Forever.” “Bitch” she muttered against your finger and you cackled, standing up to join Natasha in the kitchen. “Does your girlfriend cook or she just rails you against walls?” “Shut up!” you yelped. “I cook. And I can get famous too. You’re welcome” she threw her phone to Ali and she watched as  the video of her signing and Natasha tackling her had over 2 million views. “Oh, my God” “Is that good or bad?” Natasha wondered, pouring coffee. “I made it to the cover!” “Good”, you informed your girlfriend as she got some pancake mix ready. Before you knew it, they were both engaged in a rap battle over the dirtiest lyrics, Natasha making you blush as she sang them looking straight to your eyes. As she laughed against your shoulder, Ali dancing around the kitchen, you decided weddings were not so bad. Taglist: @gimaximoff , @nataliaromanova-widow 

[lilithbasically]

*Minors DNI*

Bakugo x Reader

Kirishima x Reader

Requested by @eternaljooni

Based off the TikTok audio "Don't Cry Just Sing it With Me"

Song: The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls

Warnings: none just the fluffiest fluff that could fluff

_______________

Bakugo

He knew you'd had a hard week with how your bosses had been harping on you. He knew it was made even worse by not being able to spend time together. His patrol schedule mixed with your work only left time for "good nights" before succumbing to unconsciousness and quick kisses in departure in the early mornings. Bakugo was always extremely attentive to your needs, nothing ever got past him and he hated seeing you so down. He decided to do something about it.

Friday night finally made its appearance, much to your pleasure and you were looking forward to having the next couple of days to spend with the very loud love of your life. For now, though, all you wanted to do was take a nice, long bath and cry about the week you had.

As soon as that thought entered, it was swept away by the front door bursting open revealing Bakugo, your favorite snacks in hand, striding over to you. "Let's go, woman. You've had a shit week so I'm gonna make it better and I'm not taking no for an answer," he declared, grabbing your hand and pulling you out the door to urge you into the passenger seat of his car. Reaching over you to buckle your seatbelt, he pressed a kiss to your forehead before running to the driver's side.

Your nerves were still shot from the hellacious week you'd had and that just made your emotions shift that much closer to the surface. Seeing how excited he was to make you happy, your breath hitched in your throat when you thought about just how much you loved him and how he showed you how much he loved you. Tears sprung to your eyes before you could push them down and you quickly wiped them away but, as we know, nothing gets past Bakugo Katsuki.

"Baby, don't cry just sing it with me," he yelled, sending you a rare, reserved only for you, full smile. Turning the radio up enough to drown out your thoughts, you both started singing.

"Throw it awaaaaay," he pointed to you.

"Forget yesterdaaaay"

Together, "We'll make the great escaaaaape..."

Your mind free from any lingering weight, you finally noticed where he'd taken you.

Wrapping his arm around you, pulling you into his side, leaning down to whisper, "You think I can do it, Princess?"

You smiled and nodded, "Get it, 'Suki," you giggled.

Handing you his cotton candy, you watched as he walked up to the strongman game, confidence rolling off him in waves.

You both may have had to run away through the carnival laughing all the while, because Bakugo may have blown it up when he couldn't ring the bell. He didn't regret it though. Seeing the smile back on your face and the light sparkling in your eyes made it all worth it.

__________

Kirishima

"Kiri, I'm so worn out. I just wanna be done already."

"I know, babygirl, but you're so close. Just one more test tonight and then you're done with finals. And I requested the weekend off so it's just us for a few days, okay?"

"Uggghhh, okay, Eiji. I'm gonna keep studying, I'll see you tomorrow."

What you didn't know though, was that Kirishima already knew this was going to happen. You'd been stressing out about finals for weeks and now that it was at the end, you were burnt out. He couldn't stand to see you so defeated so he was gonna fix that.

Knocking early the next morning woke you from your slumber. Knowing you weren't a morning person, Kirishima was ready. You opened the door greeted by your loving boyfriend holding coffee and donuts with his signature megawatt smile on his face. Handing you your coffee with a kiss to the corner of your lips he said, "Get ready, babygirl. Pack a weekend bag and be prepared for the most fun weekend of your life."

"Eiji where are we going?"

"Nope! Not telling you until we're almost there. Don't give me those puppy dog eyes, it won't work this time. I'm standing firm. Oh, but pack a swim suit," he said, a giddy tone in his voice.

When everything was loaded into the car, you started your journey. Listening to music, playing games, talking, and sharing sweet brief kisses made two hours fly by. Kirishima turned the music down, looking at you from the corner of his eye, he said, "Okay, we're close enough. I may or may not have, but definitely did, rent a beach house for the weekend for us to get away."

When you didn't say anything, his initial reaction was to be worried you didn't like it but when he looked over at you and saw your smile with tears forming in your eyes, he knew you were just overwhelmed with emotion. And he knew exactly how to pull only happiness from you, selecting the song you'd both belted out together hundreds of times before.

"Don't cry, babygirl, just sing with me!" He smiled at you before pressing a kiss to your hand and turning up the volume to obscene levels.

Yelling out the lyrics like you both do every time, you sang together, "We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs and they'll think its just cause we're young..."

The beach house was gorgeous, as expected. Even more gorgeous when the sun started to fall over the horizon, painting the sky in hues of red and orange. Kirishima looked at you, enamored with how beautiful you are and in awe of how lucky he was to have you, happy that the stress had melted from your features in such a short time with him.

You may have hug-tackled him into the shallow waves of the ocean and pressed kisses all over his face to show your appreciation.

Yeah...you were pretty fuckin lucky.

_______________

General tags

@fatbitchgeek-blog @totally-not-bakus-hoe @sunflowers-rae @whatever-the-fuck-i-dont-care @kirishimasgirl

[itssuppertim3]

Your Veezara's headcanons always made my day, thank you! ToT He's so awesome and there's so little material about him... Can I ask for some more romance hc about him, pls? ty

No prob! I'm so overjoyed that they make your day! And oh my God, Veezara is so slept on. Baby boy needs some more love.

--------------------------------------

Veezara Romance Headcanons:

You know that one Tiktok audio where Jake the Dog says, "whatever you want, mama." Yeah, that's Veezara. Doesn't matter how outrageous or scandelous the idea is, if you want something done, it's getting done. Part of it is due to his loyalty to your role as Listener, the other is simply just because he's head-over-heels.

Subconciously, his tail will like to wrap around your leg. He'll claim that he doesn't really know why this happens, but in truth it's in a sort of protective manner. You can play with his tail too, but only if he allows it. But by all means, do not grab it. Just don't.

To be honest, his attitude is always so mellow and laidback that his family often forgets to check up on how he's feeling. Not that everyone in the Dark Brotherhood has prestine mental health. Still, it's important to ask how he's doing every once in a while. Even if he's feeling terrible, he'll shrug it off and tell you that he's fine and dandy. He's extremely grateful to you, though. Just knowing that you're concerned for him has already brightened his spirits significantly.

He's developed a bad habit for acting tough in front of you. What? He has a dagger lodged in his abdomen? Pfft, he's felt worse from a dog bite. At the end of the day, you can only show him a soft smile before telling him to shut the hell up as you mend his injury.

He loves having a badass s/o. You could be cutting down your enemies and he's wolf whistling at you from afar. He'll even brag about you to petrified onlookers! "You see her? That's my girlfriend."

He really enjoys listening to you, which is kind of ironic with you being the Listener and all. If the two of you are travelling together, he'll have a merry grin on his face as you ramble endlessly about, well, anything that pops in your mind. And if you aren't in a talkative mood, Veezara will encourage the conversation with a few questions here and there.

Making you jealous is definitely something that he takes pride in. Not that he likes to see you upset, but he swears he gets chills when you jut between him and the woman he's talking with. He's crazy about you, and knowing that you're just as crazy for him sends him off the rails.

-----------------------------------

Thanks for the ask, Anon! Let me know if I should do more or if you'd like hc's for other Husbandos.

[kiwi-the-servamp-addict]

Uh random thoughts while listening to my favorited audios on tiktok

Yumikage: you're not even married you don't even have a girlfriend

Shuuhei: why would I want a woman in my life?

Kuro to all of his siblings: I'd never thought I'd have to say this but there's only space in this family for ONE unstable sibling and I have held that title for a very long time SO YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GET IT TOGETHER-

Kuro: there's a spider

Mahiru: SO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?

Kuro: KILL IT

Mahiru: YOU SAW IT FIRST YOU KILL IT

Kuro: YOU'RE THE MAN

Mahiru: since when?

Hyde singing: I feel like fucking something

Hyde: *lowers down the music*

Hyde to Licht: that something is you bitch

Hyde: I know you're a little slow but imma need you to get the hint

Licht: ....

Kuro trying not to laugh: ooooo I'm mentally ill

Kuro: *starts laughing*

Hyde: what you know about rolling in the deep enddd.... I have.. I have depression-

Mikuni: JeJe.. Wake up JeJe COME ON JEJE we've got to hide the body! there's no blood in prison JeJe now come on

JeJe: ....

Mikuni: who will they believe? A man or his snake? They don't allow snakes in prison JeJe they'll put you down now come on!

JeJe: I'm immortal-

Kuro: there's nothing I hate more then being the center of attention

Kuro in his cat form surrounded by girls in Mahirus class: and yet here I am all eyes on me

Kuro: so what do I do now..

Kuro: aside from eat the food they offer me

Kuro: why is everyone hitting me so softly today!?

Inner Kuro: QUIT THE HITTING AND FINISH THE JOB

Sakuya holding one of Tsubakis katanas: you see this? This is real steel

Sakuya: I can actually kill myself in style-

Tsubaki: SAKUYA NO-

Licht: we've been together for 9 months-

Hyde: 10 months

Licht: 9 months

Hyde: 10 MONTHS

Licht: 9 MONTHS

Hyde: 10 M O N T H S

Gear about Kuro and Mahiru: 2 bros chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay

Gear: ..... They were in fact raging homosexuals

Kuro: .....

Gear in japan looking for Kuro: oh Gear you've done it again you brought a bitch home and you forgot you're gay

Cappuccino: why is there a pig in the front of a 7/11? That's a pig-

Ildio: ......

Sakuya tapping Mahiru: hey hey wake up

Mahiru: huh?

Sakuya: I just murdered your entire family

Mahiru but- but I live alone? (kinda)

Kuro: *asleep next to Mahiru*

Sakuya: huh? Then who are these people in your house?

Mahiru: there's people in my house?!

Sakuya: WELL NOT ANYMORE... DUMB BITCH.. YOU COULD HAVE DIED.. YOUR WELCOME

Gear to Kuro: I really don't care that you're immortal I'll snap your neck like a twig

Hyde or Tsubaki: HEY BITCHES AND BROS AND NON BINARY HOES

All the Servamps except Kuro: what's more important? Mahiru or us?

Kuro: Mahiru

Hyde: man he didn't even think about it

Literally anyone who just got into Servamp: my god... These bitches gay... Good for them... Good for them...

Kuro: are you mocking me again?

Inner Kuro: oh nononono no-n-no KURO LOOK MAHIRU

Kuro: *turns around*

Inner Kuro: *starts laughing*

Kuro:.... I hate you

Hyde: USE YOUR MUSCLES THAT YOU WORKED SO HARD FOR!

Kuro: he stopped working out last week. He's weak.

Hyde: WHY'D YOU STOP WORKING OUT?

Lily: I WAS SAD!

Inner Kuro: and then I'm gonna eat your boyfriendddd

Mahiru: NO! NO! YOU WILL NOT EAT MY BOYFRIEND

Hugh about Licht and Hyde: IT WAS GAY! WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE?! I SAW GAY SO I SAID GAY! THAT AIN'T BULLYING THAT'S ASTUTE OBSERVATION

Licht looking at Shuuhei: what's with the parasol?

Ildio: precious doesn't wanna get a tan he's delicate

(LOOK I JUST REALLY WANTED TO ADD THIS ONE OK-)

Lily: I think this is affecting me mentallyyyy

Lily: like long term shit is gonna FUCK ME UPPP

Lily: I hate myself~ I hate myself~

Tsubaki about literally everyone else: stick around my the smell of queer is hurting my nose

Sakuya: you're literally no exception

Sakuya: what in the fuck knuckles is this

Misono: *holding Lily's hand* he's my boyfriend you intolerant shit

Sakuya: woah pump the hate breaks fox and friends I'm just surprised anyone would date you especially Pinky pie from my little pony

Shuuhei: and that's why before you eat anything you should ask someone you love if it's ok

Ildio: ok! I love you can I eat the guitar?

Shuuhei: N o-

Ildio: aw-

Toru: hi it's me I'm not dead! Which is an awful surprise considering how many people wrote MY OBITUARY YESTERDAY PREEMPTIVELY IN CASE I DID DIE but I didn't

Hyde during that one meeting: bitch do you want me to jump across this table BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY FOR THIS OK?

Kuro: feeling froggy? Leap.

Hyde: ok well here I come *getting on the table*

Ildio grabbing Hyde: Hey!

Lily trying to help stop Hyde: no no no-

Hyde: UH UH UH UH NO LET ME.

Ildio: OK

Hyde: you better tell this bitch who I am.

Kuro: you have exactly 3 seconds to explain why you just woke me up

Hyde: because it's morning and you should be up

Kuro: huh I didn't know you wanted to die today

Hyde: Kuro you can't kill me

Kuro: it's too late I've already decided how

Me reading that one chapter in volume 11: hmmmm this is definitely fruity

Kuro: imagine being like gay or something like that

Mahiru laying next to him: Kuro we've been together for like 8 months

Kuro: ok but that's not like gay gay y'know?

Mahiru: Kuro you're literally a bottom

Kuro: ... That's not gay gay tho-

Hyde: we're here for the cult stuff

Licht: fuck you fire man

Tsurugi: ROCK AND ROLL BUCKAROO

Mikuni: you want me off this bridge you're gonna have to kill me

Licht to Hyde: scratch my heart you demon fuck

Licht: d e m o n

Ildio: you wanna eat Lilys heart?

Lily: NO-

Licht: the demon's a whimp

Hyde: he's lost his mind-

Lily: *crying*

Yuri and Mary with something in their hands: will these help you stop crying?

Lily: what are they?

Yuri and Mary: rocks!

Lily: they're rocks?

Lily hugging them both still somewhat crying: thank you!

Misono: if I went missing for like a week do you think you'd be alarmed?

Tetsu: I think so

Misono: oh that's nice I didn't think you'd be alarmed

Tetsu: you're my friend!

Misono: I don't like how you said that-

Tetsu: YOU'RE MY FRIEND

Misono: why are you yelling "you're my friend!" !?

Tetsu: YOU'RE MY FRIEND

Misono: I'm 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone ok sarcasm is my only defense

Sakuya: you called the police before you called me?

Mahiru: I'm supposed to call first when they find a dead body?

Sakuya: Y E S

Nicco: wdym no?

Ildio: I mean no you wanna hear it in Spanish? "No"

That's all I got for rn

I might make a part 2

It was really fun to make tho!

(Sorry for any grammer mistakes)

[lothioriien]

richie tozier and his zoomer teen: headcanons

A/N: I tried keeping this as gender neutral as possible, but idk it’s a lil implied that the kid’s a girl. i’m trying to learn how to write gender neutral stuff :”)

By teenager, I mean around 16-17! High school age!!

Enjoy!

Sometime in the early 2000s, famous comedian Richard Tozier went to a party and came home with a woman.

oh yeah they deffo got it on that night

But that was a one night stand kind of thing, and Richie didn’t have any contact with her until about a year later.

He got up the couch one early evening to the ringing of his doorbell, and found a basket and a bag filled with baby food, diapers, and clothes perched on his doorstep

And in the basket? A small child, an apology note from the mother, and a birth certificate with his name listed as the father.

Oh boy did his life completely change after that.

It was him and the child, against the world.

but let’s skip the details on him struggling to take care of an infant first and move on a bit to when the kid’s older.

You, of course, are the baby that was left on his doorstep, and Richie tried to be the best father he could be despite his touring career as a comedian.

He’d bring you to the shows, even if you didn’t understand a thing that went on, though eventually when you’d help him write some material when you were older.

Constantly touring with him as a kid meant you were homeschooled. But that didn’t stop you from having a social life. You’d be friends with a lot of his fellow comedians, and John Mulaney was your ultimate favorite friend of his.

you just loved the very tall and gangly twelve year old looking man named uncle john.

Your academic life though was not too bad. You’re pretty intelligent, but when it came to maths, oh boy.

As a kid, you’d ask Richie constantly about math. He’d hate the school curriculum you had because math was different back when he was younger. He’d always help you, but it was mostly the internet just teaching you both.

You’d introduce him to vines (through iconic vine compilation videos), but mostly because he was so confused with this new language you were speaking.

Eventually he’d say some vines back to you and it’d come off so weird cause he’s a 40 year old white dad. You love him, nonetheless, and appreciate the effort

A lot of your instagram stories or snapchat stories are you filming him as you sing “You are my dad! You’re my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!”

He found it cute at first, where he would smile at you hiding behind your phone and hug you after cause dang he loves his kid so much and would die for you

then later, he’s evidently so annoyed because you do it constantly. As in he takes off his glasses, puts his head in his hands and just sighs so loudly.

When tiktok became the new vine, you were on the app every single day, making it a goal of yours to become tiktok famous.

You’d force your dad to do tiktoks with you

“I love my daddy. he is my superhero”

“Famous relative check!”

BUT THE PERFECT AUDIO

“Don’t look at me like that.” “YOU’RE MY DAD. BOOGIEWOOGIEWOOGIE!”

Gaining some clout because he is a pretty famous comedian 👀

Saying “ok boomer” to him when he’d annoy you

But then he’d clap back by being like “What the fuck Y/N. I was born in 1976, i’m not that old.”

“Yeah but sometimes you think like a boomer.”

“Ok, zoomer.”

“Dad. No. Get out.”

He’s really chill with you swearing. You definitely got that habit from him.

“What the actual fuck, Richard.”

“At least have the fucking decency to call me dad, Y/N.”

He got you into video games at a young age. Every time there was a new console or a new interesting game out, you’d both be up early to go out and get the said console/game.

And in each game you’d play, there would be hilarious commentary.

it’s basically that video with bill hader playing god of war with conan but imagine that and a zoomer’s feral energy combined.

He also got you into becoming a cinephile. Though unlike him, you read the books before watching the movie.

Marathoning a bunch of tv series together and you can never watch any new episode without him. Friday nights were reserved especially for it.

Richie can’t fucking cook for the life of him. Growing up, it was always take out, pizza, instant noodles, or mac and cheese.

He tried learning how to cook, he really did. But it was just so bad that eventually you’d learn how to do it. Then you’d try to teach him how too.

But did he get better as a cook?? Not really.

He once accidentaly set almost the whole kitchen on fire when he tried making pasta when you were 15.

“DAD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT WATER IN THE POT FOR PASTA.”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? I JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU!”

“I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE BUT PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY TO COOK AGAIN.”

The following morning, he got up and learned how to make pancakes with sausages, bacon, and eggs.

It was damn good, and by far the best thing he ever made.

So his pancakes became a regular thing.

On casual dinner nights at home, he’d let you have a drink with him and be drinking buddies. He taught you how to drink and be safe with drinks (cause we stan a protective father amirite)

Speaking of protective father, he’d be so picky and open about the people you’d date

“Really Y/N? That person? They’re fucking trash and you know it. You deserve better, sweetie.”

“But dad. They’re hot.”

“That’s still a no from me, kiddo.”

Having the most random, yet somehow meaningful conversations with Richie, yet roasting him at the same time.

“Y/N, do you think I would be classified as a papi by people.”

“No. You still wear hawaiian shirts over a t-shirt. You’re too tacky for that. You’re a papa, not a papi.”

But somehow, you also adopt his fashion style?

Cause hawaiian shirts are pretty cool? Very John Deacon ala 80s aesthetic?

And then he roasts you back from the time you called him tacky.

“Respect the drip, Richard.”

Even though you always poke fun at each other, you guys are actually so open with each other and just talk about anything and everything.

Oh no when you first got your period, he was panicking and nearly bought the entire aisle of pads and tampons because he was so clueless

Meeting the Losers Club was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. You didn’t know what to expect of them or what they’d expect from you.

You clung to your dad the whole time, watching him reunite with his childhood friends. Each one of them had a look of surprise and confusion the moment they laid their eyes on you.

They found you to be like a mini-me of Richie, as both of you were clad in printed/hawaiian shirts and glasses.

“Jeez, Richie. Why’d you decide to bring a fucking clone of yourself?” asked Eddie.

“That’s my kid, you dumbass! Eddie, this is Y/N.”

“No shit, you have a kid! You got married, dipshit?”

“No, uh, it’s just them and me.”

You decided to butt in jokingly, “Joe was in the picture for a while too,”

“Joe? Who the fuck is Joe?” The minute Eddie asked this, Richie knew what was coming next.

“Joe mama.” Thus receving a high five from your father and a groan from Eddie.

at first, everyone else would not believe Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier had his very own kid, but the minute you started to get comfortable and joke around, it really clicked for them.

“There’s no doubt they’re Richie’s kid. Look at them! They’re basically a carbon copy of him!” Eddie would have exclaimed.

You‘re very liberal and open-minded, supporting the LGBT+ community and such, but you didn’t really know Richie’s stance on it.

Perhaps it was because he’d been surpressing his feelings for a specific boy from his childhood for almost his entire life, and he didn’t really talk about that topic so much.

But when you saw the chemistry between your dad and Uncle Eds, you sensed a little something there on both ends.

always saying a specific vine under your breath when you see them “two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay” (thank you to for this hc)

OKAY UNCLE EDS LIVES IN THIS AND HE’S DEFFO A BIG PART OF YOUR LIFE AFTER ONE SPECIAL TRIP TO DERRY, MAINE.

You’d say the vine so much, Richie eventually heard it and pulled you aside.

“Y/N, I- how did you know?”

“Know what dad?”

It took a little while for him to come up with the proper words to say. How was he gonna break this to you?

“Y/N..honey, I’ve had feelings for your Uncle Eds ever since we were kids. I-i don’t know, it really scared me as a kid to feel that way so I never talked about it. I guess what I’m trying to say is, kiddo, I’m gay.”

“Huh? I thought you were American?”

the man was basically on the verge of tears. He was so tense, he almost forgot to breathe. But the moment you hugged him and told him that it’s okay, that you love him so much, and that you’re so proud of him, he wrapped you in the biggest bear hug and cried. You cried too.

A/N: Imma end it here for now :)

So sorry it took forever!! I hope you enjoyed!!

Let me know if you want a part 2! 🤪

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

i am ready

already starting out with a bop

yo this is great

also im tapping my foot as a stim bc these are good

facetime with my mom tonight reminds me of like.....pop videos....like pop music videos, im saying it reminds me of “what do you mean” by justin bieber, as it was also shot in a single room

ah yes the butterfly effect

hello socko

socko be spittin’ facts

aw :( poor socko

NSID

if only the companies during pride month said the same lol (some are legit)

“against racism in theory” uh-

yo butterfingers are kinda nasty (to me)

an avocado

A WHITE WOMANS INSTAGRAM OH MY GOD

damn it got real, you good white woman’s instagram owner

a dreamcatcher bought from urban outfitters oml

some ppl can shut the fuck up lol...i cant, i choose not to

for an hour, hell yes

also this lighting is very nice

yo what the fu-

*cries in inception*

him reacting to him reacting (and on and on) glass after glass, i honestly really like how he portrayed that. that’s kinda how it feels when i go on a tangent, and have to pick up the pieces of my original thought, especially if i’ve lost my train of thought.

IVE HEARD TIKTOK AUDIO OF BEZOS AND I OH MY GOD

ITS SO GOOD

this is going on repeat, and i love the meaning

the scream is really good too

im....horny honestly same

you send me a peach....ill send a carrot back...cool cool

we love asking for consent (as should everyone)

sit why do you have a knife

the sexting song reminds me of “orange juice” by melanie martinez

sir why do you have a knife-

*disassociates*

“well well, look who’s inside again, went out to look for a reason to hide again”

i didnt need to be called out

ah yes a wet hair segment

this is so 80s, giving me “holding out for a hero” we love it

bitch im trying to listen, shit ive been complicit, my brain

age is a very scary thing. i feel like a lot of people start throwing others away once they’ve reached a certain age and that isn’t really okay. people should be able to enjoy what they want to enjoy at any age (within reason, of course). the venom that some people face is so....gross. just because they’re in their 30s and enjoy reading fanfics, or making them like??? they arent hurting anyone, mind your fucking business. im honestly happy that a lot of my pals are older on here. i may not know what the fuck they’re talking about sometimes, but there’s still a lot of shared experiences, and things like that.

im absolutely terrified of getting older. i know and understand that i’m young, i’m literally 15 years old, what do i need to be scared of.....a lot. i just dont have a good relationship with death, and sometimes i lie awake at night, thinking about how nothing in life is permanent, besides the life cycle itself. things live, and things die. and i know it happens, i’ve just yet to accept it.

for so long, i’ve wanted to “be a big kid” and do all these different things, but i just...dont know. i feel like my brain is older than my body. and my thoughts, and things i like. it’s really weird. i’ve been told that im “mature for my age” and all that, which i see as a compliment, rather than someone trying to be a predator. which is understandable in both aspects. but i sometimes wonder if i wasnt...me...y’know. if i wasnt mature for my age, and looked a bit younger. (i look young in general, but eh, you get it) i look tired sometimes, (its because i probably am) but it’s odd. anyways, back to me reacting.

turning 30 is a bop

hes not out of touch, it’s honestly fine to not be on social media and shit

yeah, i already disassociate enough, it happens mostly when im listening to music...hmm

2030 i’ll be 40 and kill myself then.......yeah

ME EXPLAINING WHY I SAY WHAT I SAY SO PEOPLE DONT WORRY

dear lord, yeah its too real

i know i dont want to, but i really just....want things to stop sometimes. so i can breathe, and gather my bearings and get through it. things get a lot and i just need a break.

YO WHY DO I RELATE DEAR LORD

i really need help jesus christ

thank you for cleaning me mr burnham

yes i like the show, im not tired of it, its just fine :)

yo he put a whole game in this shit, hell yeah

yeah i want out of the house, but like......AUGH no

why tf is this so accurate

wake up at literally 4 in the afternoon, feeling like a bag of shit (oh no)

if i mentally feel like shit, i cant sleep it off lol, my dreams exhaust me at that point

“could i interest you in everything all of the time” me listening to tunes

THATS WHERE THE MANIACAL LAUGHING SOUND IS FROM AND IT CUTS OFF I DIDNT KNOW THIS INFORMATION

love ur forehead glowstick dude

i like the idea of it being like...contained, but im sure that im losing it because i havent been like...NEAR OTHER PEOPLE. the pandemmie has NOT been great. anyway.

total disassociation, total out your mind, googling derealization, hating what you find

PLEASE THIS IS TOO ACCURATE

aw :(

its 4 in the morning so my hands are gonna be up, and im just looking at him

this is so beautiful

yo he put a “the living tombstone” on that one

him sitting on the chair reminds me of the one scene in “kill your darlings” where the main character has diarrhea, and they’re sitting on a chair bare ass naked (so they dont have to take the pants off, yada yada) while also writing on a typewriter.

yo this was great

okay i admit that i was mad sad earlier, but like....im fine now. and especially not now. i’ve been told not to watch inside when not in a good mental state, and i get it. im fine now, but that was good. i honestly laughed more than anything. i dont feel like crying. it represented a lot of my thoughts and feelings well. i like it.

[sunnyxxmartin]

Sunshine Lorraine Martin Summer Adventure - Isaiah’s Graduation Edition - @gallaghertasks

tw: slight violence (just the martin twins fighting like usual <3)

Waking up early the day after the party, Sunny pulled herself out of the fort that her and Lucas made. Her mother had told her that she would be at Gallagher at ten in morning, which gave her three hours to get ready and leave. Her stuff was already packed up in the room, all she had to do was shower and get Starlight ready for their trip back to Alabama. It sucked, having to say bye to her friends, but in month, they would be back together.

She sat inside of her room, waiting for her mother to knock only to find her older sister Imani. The two screamed and hugged, you know, that cute sisterly shit you do. Were they loud? Hell yeah. Would anyone tell them to be quiet? No way! You try telling Gallagher’s sunshine to keep it down, you’ll regret it right away. Together, the duo packed all of Sunny’s belongings into Imani car (”Oh my god, you’re driving a mini van now? What are you, a soccer mom?”), ready by exactly twelve. Friends were hugged, pictures were taken, and byes were said before the youngest Martin took off. The car ride back home was filled with updates about their schools, singing loudly to their favorite songs, and questions about Sunny’s nonexistent love life (”Come on, there’s gotta be some guy you’re interested in!”). There was nothing but sisterly love being said between the two.

Once back in Alabama, all of her stuff was taken up to her room and hugs were given to her mama and papa. They all talk about her first year at school, it was only with her mama that she went more in depth in private. Worry crossed over the older woman’s face as she pulled her youngest into her chest. What a way to start off your college career: with fear and anxiety at an all time high. “Do you want to stop going?” asked her mother, a question that Sunny wasn’t expecting. She pulled away quickly, shaking her head no. She knew what she was getting into with attending Gallagher, she was NOT going to give up.

Her time at her childhood home lasted only a day as they had to leave the next day for California. Isaiah Martin was graduating from UCLA and the gang was ready. Flying to California was a lot better than driving, Sunny wasn’t sure if she could do that again. Once there, the family checked into their hotel before meeting up with Isaiah for lunch. The whole gang was back together, everyone! The cutest family out there that was filled with so much love. It was tough, not having her family with her while she was at Gallagher, but it allowed her to become her own person without living in the shadows of her brother and sister. 

The next day was graduation day. Pictures were taken of the trio and also the whole family. When the name “Isaiah Martin” was about to be said, all you could hear was that THAT black family at the graduation (”We ask that you wait for all names to be called before cheering.” Sunny and Imani leaned onto each other, laughing at that.) His graduation day was filled with lots of love and happiness, the youngest Martin proud of her brother. 

Since the family was in California, they decided to use it as their vacation time. Time was spent at the beach, shopping together, and even looking at Isaiah’s apartment (”You couldn’t get anything... better?” chirped Imani. Isaiah only rolled his eyes, hitting her back with, “Funny, did the girl who lives in a shoebox in New York say something? Oh, I guess not.” .... Let’s just say that the Martin twins did start fighting right there and then yikes). Things were back to normal and Sunny was happy about that. 

After the semester that she had, it was what she needed. To spend time with family and to ground herself. Of course, she also continued talking to her friends! Her and Ruby would constantly text, both geeking out about various things (”Can you believe that we’ll be second years next year? We’re going to be upperclassmen to someone, whoa!”), and then there was her text and FaceTime sessions with Lucas. Anytime his name would pop up on her phone or if he would ask to call her, the widest grin that you’ve ever seen would show up on her face alongside the feeling of butterflies in her stomach. She would always catch herself, taking note of these things about herself, finding it strange. 

Think of the TikTok audio “wait, wait, wait, aye--”, that was Sunny whenever she caught herself. It wasn’t the first time that baby girl has liked someone, but it was usually some guy in another class in high school. This was one of her good friends, someone who she talked to on the regular and made plans with to hang out in Berlin!!! This was different and bad AAHH!!!! 

Because whenever she would think about Lucas, her mind would go back to the last time they saw each other. How they danced together at the event, Lucas laughing at Sunny as she attempted to gamble, how they got their other friends to dance with them, him carrying her back to his room because the shoes that Maia loaned her were starting to hurt, so he offered to carry her on his back. Then there was the pillow fort being made, snacks that were waiting for them, Sunny choosing the movie to watch, how as they were getting ready and Sunny realized that she forgot her pjs in her room (Cyrus and Jai were having s*x so there was NO WAY she was going back there!), so Lucas let her wear his. To them cuddling together inside of the fort and then falling asleep next to each other--

Sunny literally swatted those thoughts away as the realization hit here. Picking up her phone, she clicked on Ruby’s name and sent the other a text:

RUBY!!!!! RED ALERT!!!!

i think that i have a crush on lucas

and i’m definitely fucked

And that concludes Sunshine Lorraine Martin’s summer adventure. Get ready for Berlin folks, because it’s gonna be a ride. 

Some facts:

Starlight was with her the entire time because that’s her child and also her ESA. 

Current hairstyle: long brown hair! A little protective style for Berlin, ya feel me. 

Maybe she’ll shave her head because China with a shaved head? Hot af

Ya damn skippy the Martin kids made a bunch of TikToks together!!! And ya damn skippy they got that fame because they’re all hella attractive black kids

During one of their nights together, Sunny opened up to Imani and Isaiah about being queer. She was nervous at first but trusted them. The two accepted her without a problem. 

Isaiah, a himbo: Aye, welcome to the we like girls gang! (Imani punched him for that)

It was the night of the party that marked the beginning of her crush for Lucas but it was only a week before Berlin that she came to term with those feelings! 

Sunny is the CEO of not having a consistent Instagram theme which is SO different from Harper (I legit hate THIS)

Also, the only time Sunny gets a bunch of likes and comments is when she posts pictures of Isaiah because we are all simps for him