#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it���s ALSO about—

[toddtakefive]

btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage

[bluepotion85]

Expanding Bootcamp - Chapter 3 (Male Wg Story)

Summary: After Salazar’s food competitions began, more people started to join for the overindulgence. Will and his friends hope to stay out of it for the most part. But when the cadets start to entice others to join actively, the situation starts to raise questions. Is Will and his friends capable of staying out of the competitions or some of them will fall to their cravings?

(The following is a male weight gain fic. This is for the most part a slow burn deal)

The next day Connor and I get to the chow hall for lunch, and we share tables with the twins. We see that the eating competitions of Salazar take a different turn for lunches. They will be more tame, revisiting Salazar’s tasting idea. Mixing and mashing with the different food in the cafeteria, meats with different sauces and sides trying to impress one another, trying to be modest so they can go to town with dinner.

At the beginning it's just a little game between them and nobody minds, but at some point, people started to stand up and try to solve disputes with people outside their group.

They will come to your table and ask you to try this? and what do you think of that?

After rejecting an offer from another cadet Jones burst

“God, can't they keep their mess to their own group? this is getting tiring!”

“I know what you mean” -says Carlos behind him.

He is coming with his tray in hand hoping to sit with us, besides him is Hill with his tray as well. Once we are all together Carlos tries to explain an idea.

“I know that Salazar and his friends are just trying to be playful and bond, but I just want to have my meals in peace. I'm hoping that if we sit together and reject their offers they will eventually stop”

I don't tend to share meals with so many people but for the sake of keeping the food reviewers at bay I'm willing to try, I look at Connor ready to ask for his opinion and he just nods with a smile in my direction.

“I like the sound of that, it's tiring enough to deal with Carlos to also have Neil as a shadow offering treats” -adds Hill.

“Oh come on Hill, you know you love my company”-Carlos adds trying to reach out for a hug knowing Hill hates them.

“Remember I catched you on today’s run. So, no hugs”-he replies right away.

Carlos recoils like a spring and continues to eat.

the twins laugh at the display and Daniel says “Well at least we will have something less to worry about, I don't know you but I'm a bit troubled with how things are developing around here”

“True, at least it was fun when we were the loudest pair here. But with the food competitions unless we say goodbye to our abs, there is no way to tag along. -says Jones

“Is that your worry?”-Daniel bites back.

“Sure, if we lose the abs, how are we going to score?” -Jones says as if making the most obvious question in the world.

The twins have this issue of not managing to get a partner . . . ever. It could be because they boast of their looks, the fact that they are never apart from one another for more than a second or that they get jealous as soon as one gets a date and the other doesn't. But regardless, part of the reason they stay in top physique is due to their desire to find love.

“If that's your biggest concern then why not try and score with one of the guys in Salaza’s table, they seem more than friendly?” -Hill asks with the same monotone voice, making it hard to distinguished if he is joking or being serious on the matter

“Of course not, have you seen them eat? they wouldn't appreciate these gains” -Jones adds while flexing his arm.

“I could appreciate it” -says Neil behind him.

While we talked, he got closer to ask for our opinion on a dish and listened to some of our conversation. When we turned around to see him, he winked at Jones, ate a piece of chicken tender from his plate and walked back to his table. He was going back to his table with a swing to his walk, almost as if showing off his now slightly plumper hips.

Daniel was holding his laughter not for Neil but for Jones that looked as red as a tomato.

The next morning, I woke up early to workout with Connor. As we talked on the way there, not really looking where I’m going, I ended up crashing against something soft. It was Salazar, he was talking with Bradley in the Hallway.

He looks like he has grown more since the last time we talked, his belly growing to eclipse most of my view, his legs like tree trunks, his arms pressing against his side accentuating the start of moobs and his face looking rounder from the extra fat. We knew he was growing but up close its outstanding and it's no wonder with his track record. From all the cheers and shouts we hear at meals he seems to be winning every food challenge. They both keep their muscular bodies, Bradley more than Salazar at least. But for the amount of weight Bradley was carrying, he is looking less like a quarterback and more like an off-season linebacker.

“Im sorry Sal, I wasn't watching”

“No problem Will, you would need to do force to harm me with your size haha”

“Yeah I guess so haha, hey we are going to the gym. Do you guys want to tag along?”

He looked at Bradley for a second and replied with a disinterested shrug “Not really, we were just heading to the chow hall. they have cinnamon rolls if you are the first to get there and we need to keep the bulk going”

I shouldn't try to get involved in the situation, but I get worried for Salazar and Bradley and let my tongue get the best of me.

“I don't want to get in the way, but don't you think you should be cutting a bit now?”

He looks puzzled as if not understanding the comment and then he starts to laugh.

“Oh no Will, of course not. Its ok for you to ask, in my height is hard to build muscle without a strong base so all of this is necessary” -he adds slapping his belly that jiggles for a second before stopping.

“I get that . . . but with the food competitions and all, aren't you afraid of going too far?” -Connor replies

Salazar took a second and for a moment I was afraid of touching a nerve. But he smiles and with his chubby face his face radiates confidence.

“I know what you both mean but soon enough you will see how this gets results, and who knows maybe you will come ask for advice”

With that Bradley and Salazar walk away towards the chow hall and Connor and I just come to terms more with the fact that there is no dialogue to convince them to stop what's in motion.

That day after finishing our assignments I got a stomachache. It could be something I ate that didn't mix well with me. So, I decided to go to the infirmary for some medicine. Once inside I walk to this office at the other end of the building. I knock on the door, and he calls me to get in. I notice Doctor Donovan seems to have gained some weight. His cheeks look a bit puffier, and a bigger belly is pushing against his medical robe. Apparently even those not eating in the chow hall can indulge.

I explain my symptoms and he tell me to sit down while he looks for a quick remedy.

I ask if it's better to move to a cubicle.

“Oh there is no need, unless you are unable to stand on your own, I can evaluate you in my office. Just don't faint now haha”

While he looks for the medicine in his supplies, I see his pants struggling a bit as he bends over for a cabinet. Trying to cover the awkward silence I look for something to talk about. And my curiosity gets the best of me.

“So, why haven't you been eating with us lately? afraid of getting a stomachache as well? haha”

He retrieved the medicine and as he stands upright, we both hear a little rip. He blushed a bit, maybe concerned with the source of the sound, or my comment that reminds him of his growing middle and I’m immediately regretting the question realizing the connotation.

I was ready to be reprimanded for asking on a matter that's none of my business, but instead he says that he’s been helping the commander with some assignments of his own, so they both eat in the main hall for most meals.

“Not that I wouldn't like to eat with you all guys, the last time we were at the chow hall it was pretty lively”

“Yeah they are having their own fun at meals”

While we talk I see a file archive half open behind the doctor. He took my medical summary from it and I don't think too much about it, but I wonder what the files say about us at base.

Another couple of days pass and things around the base stay the same. Easy work, lots of free time and since the eating challenges continue, lots of food.

After Salazar managed to entertain the team with the eating competitions, more people joined him to try a shot at the challenge.

During lunch Carlos, Hill and I are waiting for the others at a table and Neil approaches.

“Oh Will you have to try this idea we had” -one of them tells me while

I see the half-eaten plate that so many of them have already tried and replied.

“Ah no thanks, I’m kind of full now hehe.”

He shrugs and offers some to Carlos.

“No thanks I'm fine” -he replies but after focusing on the plate he stops Neil before he leaves.

“Wait, is that sweet corn?”

“Yes, it’s new, it’s so good you have to try it out.”

Carlos gets closer to the plate and gets a spoonful of the mush, and moans at the test. He looks at me and acts naturally.

“Ahem yeah it's pretty good, thanks.”

While Carlos tries the food Connor and the twins arrive, they see the whole thing.

Neil looks excited and raises his voice so the rest of his table can hear “See they love my plate, put another point to me.”

I cross looks with Connor that suits down at the table and is as puzzled as me at how serious these people take their game.

Before Neil gets back to his table, he looks at the twins and says “Hi Jones. Maybe we could hang out again, later today if you are free”

Jones starts to change colors not knowing what to say, “Sure no problem, as long as I can bring along these bad boys” - he says and flexes his arm.

We all cringe at the sight of Jones' miserable attempt to be a human. Those two really do not know what to do when someone tries to flirt with them, but Jones takes the cake.

Neil laughs it off and goes back to his table.

Once we were all together Daniel said “What is that about? I thought you said you were not into Neil, and what does he mean about, Again?”

Then he looks at Carlos and adds

“And we said not agreeing to their food, otherwise they won't stop!”

Hill looks at Carlos and says “Its true Carlos you have stabbed us all in the back and the only solution is execution by firing squad, I’ll look for the materials on the storage unit”

Daniel glares at Hill for mocking his concern and Carlos interjects “I know, I'm sorry guys it won't happen again. . . well unless Neil gets invested in you Jones”

We all look at Jones waiting for a reply and he signs “Ok here is the thing, I had a little crush on Neil when we joined the team. He is my type ok, and even with the extra weight he looks cute”

Nobody says anything to object to the matter. Daniel looks at him with an expression that can only mean, keep going and so he does.

“So yeah, the day he tried to bring us food. He approached me afterwards to hang out in the recreation room”

Daniel looks puzzled and Jones adds “The day I got assigned the watchtower and you were patrolling, I kind dof left my post to hang out with him”  

“Jones you could have gotten in trouble just to hang out with Neil, you could have done that at any other time!” -Daniel adds exasperated.

“I know but he was really nice, I had fun and nothing happened. So no big deal”

We look at him, nobody commenting against the notion. Connor looks about ready to add something but refrains from it.

“And maybe I will go and spend some time with him again today!” -he continues to eat, and we let the matter end there.

I could see a worried look on Daniel's face, but we continued our meal and got back to work.

The next day while I do my assignments, I catch Jones and Neil on what could only be described as a date, or as much of a date you can have in a military base. They were sitting in the field with some food, Jones talking nonstop and Neil rubbing his arms. They seem to have fun and I move on.

The week passes by and the changes continue, people have started to go with their shirt’s outs, food stains have plagued some uniforms and during nights people have started to snore or mumble in their sleep.

One night Salazar woke up and left the barracks. He kicked my bed by accident on his way out and woke me up by accident. He didn't notice I was awake, so he just left the room for good. Trying to go back to sleep I felt my throat dry up. So I standed up to take some water from my bottle, and realized it was empty. Walking to the chow hall to fill up the bottle I see Salazar is already inside. He was having a midnight snack, or meal for the size of it. I enter to get the water hoping that he won't notice me with how focused he is on the meal.

On my way out the blasts the room with a belch and I turn back, we lock eyes and he smiles. He shouts “Hey dude come tag along while I'm here, no need to be sneaky”

“Oh don't worry Sal, I'm on my way back to bed, have a good meal tho” -I said while getting out of the chow hall and walking back to the barracks.

Once I'm in my bed a while later Salazar comes back huffing and puffing from a full stomach, ever since then more and more cadets would wake up to snack during the nights. Every time they will come back with a packed full belly and gasping for air.

The recreation room has become a massive point for gathering. People will do tournaments and pass their control to the next person over and over again. People camping out of the room snacking or sleeping while waiting for their turn.

While walking the base cadets are found boasting to one another about their recent achievements in the challenges at the chow hall, some of them eating mid day and joking about how they are all in a “dirty bulk”.

Jones and Neil continue to go out, one night during dinner he comes with Daniel and after taking his food he comes to us and say

“Hey guys, I will be eating with Neil for a while. Things are going well between us and I want to spend some extra time with him”

Daniel looks mortified but he remains quiet, nobody says anything and Connor finally breaks the silence

“Sure Jones enjoy the meal, you can always eat with us later”

Everyone adds congratulations to him and encourages him to go for it, except Daniel. Jones looks toward his brother but he doesn't say anything and after thanking everyone for their support he walks to Salazar's table. He sits besides Neil and gets a passionate kiss, some cadets whistle and cheer.

We continue to have dinner like always, Carlos is eating more than usual and he mentions how the food is tasting better now.

We let it slide and finish the meal and Daniel asks if we want to hang out afterwards. We all agreed and went to the field. Once there Daniel start to ramble

“Incredible, he just leaves us for Salazar’s little recruiter”

“Come on Daniel, it's not like they are building an army he is not doing anything criminal”-Carlos says

“That we know so far!, don't you all find it weird how suddenly they all start to act the same?”-he says looking angry and agitated.

“Daniel, if they are building an army, what are they fighting? the gym, the military, us? besides being lazy or hungry is universal not like they are drones” -I add

He looks at me and tries to come with a rebuttal but seems to realize how silly it all sounds.

“It's just so annoying how they just plucked him like nothing happened, he has been with Neil day and night for the past couple of days. It's just not how we do things!”

“Nobody plucked him Daniel, he went there out of his own volition” -Connor adds trying to be reasonable.

“Could it be possible that this is about being a tiny bitsy jealous of him dating Neil?” -Carlos asks nervously

“Of course not, I don't even like Neil!”

“You know he is not talking about Neil, he has a right to time of his own; and if you truly trust your brother, you have to allow him to drift away and come back” -Hill adds standing up and looking at Carlos “I'm going to bed, there is not much we can add to this situation”

Carlos stands up and says “Ok that's my queue to go as well. Have a good night everyone and Daniel, It's the first time he is having someone handling his energy. Cut him some slack”

With that Carlos and Hill go back to the barracks. We stay in silence for a second, Daniel sits down on the field, looking upon the stars and Connor whispers in my ear

“I'm going to bed. Try and talk to him, maybe it will help. You know use your Will charm”

Connor excuses himself and goes to the barracks leaving Daniel and me alone in the field. I get closer to him and I see he is looking at a picture of him and his brother. They are both kids in the picture playing around.

“I've been with him for everything, his silly blog in highschool, the time he wanted to go to the Appalachian trail when we were kids and our parents said no; He tried to get a ride there on his own and we were known as the runaway twins. Even when he tried to do that stupid prank channel. Do you have any idea how many opportunities I lose because my name is attached to ‘double pranks’?”

I try to remain serious, even when my brain bombards me of memories of that youtube channel. Jones couldn't shut up about it when we met and made me promise not to tell Daniel he showed it to me.

I put my hand in his shoulder and ask “I think what Carlos asked was, that maybe you are jealous of Jones getting a partner first”

“He doesn't have a partner, they've been dating for two weeks!”

“Come on Daniel you know what I mean”

he sighs and folds the picture, putting it back in his pocket he looks at me and replies.

“It's possible, I have botched so many opportunities with people before because I want to support him. That now that he is having a first time getting things his way I don't know”

“It's ok Daniel, you have done everything with him for a long time. It's natural that you feel a bit left aside. But he is still here and you are still siblings, no matter what happens you will stick to one another by the end”

He looks at me with a pained expression so I add “And yeah It's true that he is being a little bit weird but give it a couple of days and he will be back to the same old, same old. Even if he doesn't we have your back”

He shakes his head and nods my way “You are right, this is so dumb. I'm sorry I dragged you all into this. It's just not like him to react like this”

We stand up and walk back to the barracks to let time fix things.

The next few days that followed were marked by morning runs that were slowly having less and less people, Carlos slowing down and Hill catching on to him earlier than usual, the machines at the gym getting less crowded and Bradley showing up to train less often. At this point Salazar has stopped showing up all together.

During all of this Daniel looks pained with the distance from his brother. But we keep him company to help pass the time and he stays strong in his resolve. Sadly my comment of Jones coming back to his common self were . . . wrong.

He has stopped showing up to training to spend time with Neil, and spending time with Salazar and his team is rubbing some of their traits on him. He will participate in challenges and go to town for the sake of the validation of his loverboy.

whenever I cross paths with them and ask about the routine they reply about bulking for the moment and coming back to the gym soon. But I find it hard to believe, in the short time they’ve been together Neil managed to get Jones on track along with the rest of his group.

He has started to develop a beginner's gut and as Daniel started to notice, he started to speculate more and more of something going wrong. I know his words are a result of his pain, but I would be lying if I said some of his words haven't ingrained in my mind. Swirling during the nights looking at the ceiling of the barracks, especially when another cadet comes huffing from a midnight binge.

I try as much as I can, not to pay too much attention to the matter at hand but it's starting to become harder to ignore.

A few days into the week I have to take a shift in the watchtower and Carlos is the person with the shift before mine. I cross paths with Hill that's going there to bring Carlos some snacks.

“I owe him something so he asked me to bring him these” -he says while showing me fries with tons of toppings.

When we get to the top there is Carlos looking around the base finishing a protein bar, he throws the wrapper to the floor and belches loudly since he is unaware we are there. And I clear my throat to make our presence known

Carlos looks back at us with a face that said earth please eat me whole.

“Wow you can't even say sorry in front of our visits?” -Says Hill while giving Carlos his food

“Sorry guys, I've been just a bit gassy”

His belly rumbles and I notice his belly straining his shirt, it's looking bigger than before but his chest is the main attraction on display. the buttons on his chest are straining and I try to look away not to seem intrusive.

“And hungry it seems” -Hill Replies

“It's nothing really, it's just a little bloat, it will pass in a few days. I'm trying a new diet and it's common to get bloated at the start and . . .”

Before Carlos can ramble anymore Hill covers his mouth and says “Please shut up”

Then he gets his hand away from Carlos in a swift motion and Hill looks angry like I haven't seen him in a while. Carlos is lolling his tongue out with a cheeky smile.

“For Hades sake, did you just lick my hand?”

“Yeah, want me to lick something else?”

“Ok you have your snacks. I'm getting the fuck out of here.”

Hill gets out followed by a laughing Carlos.

I stay in the watchtower, cleaning the mess Carlos left behind him. Enough wrappers to fill a snack box, did he really have this all in a sitting and still asked Hill for more?. Maybe Daniel is right and we are turning into fat drones.

I stayed patrolling in the watchtower, I leaned in the border of the tower looking down at everyone dealing with their day. Boredom got the best of me and by the end of my shift I had fallen asleep in an awkward position, only waking up when Connor passed by to bring me something to eat and hang out.

I decided to pass by the infirmary to get a pain killer. That nap on the watchtower was worse than I thought. What I heard was Doctor Donovan inside moaning and wrinkling of aluminum paper. I knock at the door, and I can hear him scrambling around. He opens the door and I notice immediately that he got bigger than last time. His belly is pushing against his robe so much so you can see the gaps between the buttons begging for release. His arms look like sausages inside the sleeves and his pants are at two meals of retirement.

He lets me in to have my check up and I explain the situation. Around the cubicle there are pieces of fries and wrappers from different dishes from the chow hall all scattered around.

“Here it is, a light pain killer. We don't want you going around with something too strong” - he says with a jovial tone.

“Thanks doctor, I don't want to intrude but we haven't seen you or the commander around as much is everything ok?”

“Oh sure Will, but thanks for asking. The scientific team has been giving the commander a lot of paperwork and he hasn't been able to finish a stack of papers before a new one gets added”

“And you have been helping I imagine”

“Of course, we are a team after all” - he says with his chest puffing out.

His chest looks so strained in his clothes I was scared a button would fly to my eyes, at least in that case I'm already in the infirmary.

Once I'm out I tell Connor What I heard

“It's good to know they are ok, but having so much paperwork he can't regulate the camp? it’s kind of a problem” - Connor says.

I could only agree. With the commander out of service due to the scientist's continued request and the changing tone of our bootcamp all I can do is hope the experiment is close to an end.

I hope you all enjoyed this week’s chapter, get ready for some changes as the story picks up pace. Thanks again for your support and let me know in the comments if you have any ideas of what you would like to see next. << First Chapter / <Previous Chapter /  Next Chapter >>

[neutron-stars-collision]

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader 

Chapter 6 - The Undisclosed Desires 

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 

Summary: The day of the New York mission, emotions are running high and tension rises... 

Warnings: Cursing.

Author’s Notes: Here it is, much shorter than usual but crucial... Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! 

If you had hoped that after such an eventful night and morning, you would have a more peaceful day, you soon realised that it was not going to happen. Neil went straight to work, and you could only join him, warily eyeing him from time to time. It seemed as though he could perfectly switch from whatever mood has possessed you both in the morning to strictly professional in no time.

And if he would occasionally brush his hand over yours or accidentally touch your knee when rehearsing the conversation, then you would certainly not pay it too much attention.

Most of the conversations that day focused on the cover, the conversation you would have to have with Steiner, and what to do if you fucked up. It was already past 4 and you still felt like you had to be more prepared. You took another sip of the coffee, feeling the headache pounding in your head.

“Right so…” you took a deep breath, trying to memorise the lines “Can we go over all this again?” you looked at Neil and tried very hard not to let your eyes wander.

“Yes” he nodded and consulted his own script “I’m James Farrow. Or at least that’s the name I chose to use this time” he winked “I’m interested in the plutonium piece because it could be crucial to our new investment” at that he reached out to touch your knee, again.

You glared at him.

“May I remind you we’re supposed to be business partners? Not married or dating”

While it was enjoyable, you slowly started to get wary of him going off-script. It was one of the things you really hated as you always had to follow the strict guidelines, or else you were lost. Meanwhile, it seemed like Neil thrived when he was given the room to improvise. You just hoped that will not get you killed.

“I don’t see why we can’t be business partners that sleep with each other” he looked up at you coolly “Occasionally” he bit his lip.

You stared, suddenly aware that the conversation steered off the tracks massively. If it was not for the stress, you would give in.

“Because that would be unprofessional” you shifted away from him slightly “And potentially damaging towards future partnership” you shrugged, feigning nonchalance that you did not feel.

It seemed like he caught on to what you were implying as he nodded and went back to the script.

“Our new investment has something to do with nuclear weapons deal” he summarised the next point after a short silence “Which you can tell him more about…?”

It was almost as if the short exchange never happened, and he was looking at you expectantly to fill in your part of the story. You wondered how long it would take before you end up with whiplash from his constant change of moods.

“So our investment is entirely classified, but I’m supposed to hint towards the involvement of Russia and North Korea…” your eyes roamed the room while you tried to gather thoughts “If he asks for details, I have to say that we’re on the brink of making a deal with a Russian oligarch for a missile which he wants to use for personal protection” your eyes involuntarily landed on Neil again. He was observing your attempts with a fond smile, and once again you felt the annoying flutters show up “That should be enough, right?” you gave up on trying to remember more.

“Well done” he smirked and looked back at the script again “After that, we need to ask him how he acquired the piece and whether there are any other interested parties. I’ll try to lead the conversation, but if he asks you anything you need to be prepared” his blue eyes fixed on you with the serious expression “What’s your name?”

“Jane Sloane” you frowned “Which, in my opinion, is a rather shit fake identity name, but who am I to know” you throw your hands in defeat.

Neil burst out laughing at that, you eyed him curiously.

“What? James Farrow sounds like some London aristocracy fuck boy turned weapons dealer. Actually Neil gives off the same vibes...”

You looked at him to see him doubled down in laughter, and the image made you smile. He calmed down after at least a minute and looked at you with a wide grin.

“I’ve got to ask TP to send me on missions with you exclusively from now on” You shrugged and beamed back, enjoying the moment. But the stress you felt was not allowing you peace.

“First we need to survive this mission” you replied “And I’m not sure we have a back-up plan if he doesn’t believe our story”

“Oh we do, don’t fret” dramatically he flipped the dossier open and fished out another page “Basically if any of us starts feeling that things are going south, we should give each other a sign and evacuate as soon as possible”

“What sign?” you watched as he seemed to think fast.

Then he moved closer to you and squeezed your knee while looking at you innocently.

“Can that be a sign?”

“Why do I feel like you’re just looking for an excuse to do that” you glared at him.

On purpose, he let his hand linger on your thigh, before smiling widely and resuming to look at the file.

“I’d say that’s wishful thinking but think you know better than to believe that” he spoke after a short silence and you glanced up surprised.

“What?” you tried to decipher the secretive smile that appeared on his face.

“Nothing” he shrugged, and you felt like he tried to say something without actually saying it.

One thing was for certain – Neil was frustrating. You sighed and covered your face with your hands. Of course, he noticed.

“You alright there?” he gave you a little nudge.

“Apart from desperately wanting to murder you, yeah I am” you glanced at him with annoyance.

The feeling only got stronger when he grinned widely as though he has been flattered.

“I’ve been told that’s the effect I have on people”

“Great” you tried to focus on the work “It would be amazing if we could start getting prepared soon… Because I might need some time to embody the Jane Sloane look” you mused, trying to get your thoughts together.

“If you mean the look of a foxy, beautiful weapons dealer, then you’re ready to go” he eyed you quickly and then winked when you met his gaze.

Fucking hell…

“Remind me to tell TP that I hate you” you got up from the sofa “I’ll go over the rest of this in my room”

“You love me really” Neil called out after you, but you didn’t dare turn.

Closing the door with a thud felt good. It seemed like after the morning’s blunder he was determined to piss you off… or to make you want to kiss him just to shut him up. He succeeded at both. Supposedly your internal rule not to fall for co-workers was bound to be broken.

Groaning you went back to the script, desperately hoping you can still learn some of it with the little time that was left. But once the clock struck 6:30 PM you decided to wing it, despite feeling anything but confident. You dutifully got ready, put on heels (which you were pretty sure were going to kill you), and fixed make-up to be a bit more ‘out there’ than your normal look. Looking into the mirror you were not sure you were convinced but it would have to do. You grabbed the clutch bag (with a gun and phone inside) and knocked on Neil’s room. You were not going to make the same mistake again.

“Come on in” he called out and only then you opened the door.

This time he was fully dressed. Thankfully. You eyed him quickly and cursed the obvious:

“You know it’s unfair that you can just wear your normal clothes while I have to risk getting killed in those fucking heels” to punctuate the sentence you raised one leg and huffed.

“Fair point” he grinned “You look good though. As usual” the roguish smile was back in force.

“Thanks” you looked at him warily “I hope Steiner will appreciate my efforts” you joked, feeling the tension rise.

You had to leave soon, and that was not helping in trying to stay calm. But Neil, naturally, noticed and closed the safe distance you tried to keep. He combed his ruffled for the occasion, and his smart suit reminded you of the day you met. Quite a lot has changed since that day, you mused. He tipped your chin so that you had to meet his gaze.

“Are you alright?” the affectionate look in his eyes made you feel vulnerable.

“Coping” you responded honestly “Nearly got sick while getting ready and pretty sure I’ll pass out before we get there”

“Can I help in any way?”

“Just don’t be annoying” his hand moved to caress your neck, and you shuddered “And follow the plan” you breathed out the sentence.

His touch was slowly overwhelming your senses, and you wondered how obvious that was. Judging by the smirk on his face, it was pretty evident. The advantage of the situation was that you no longer felt the anxiety quite so strongly.

“I’m sure we’ll be great, with the plan or not” his hand rested on your shoulder now “If you start feeling worse, squeeze my hand or something, and I’ll try to divert their attention” he smiled at you.

You beamed back instantly. His effect on you was somewhat concerning, you had to admit. You let yourself look at him for a little longer, enjoying the way his blue eyes sparkled in the light.

“We need to get going now I’m afraid” Neil’s voice brought you out of the reverie.

You took a deep breath and straightened your back.

“Lead the way”

*** You arrived at Benny’s 10 minutes too early, which could be partially blamed on your irresistible urge to walk too fast when stressed. Neil dragged you over to the side of the neighbouring building so you would not be seen loitering suspiciously and sent a text to Raul.

“He’ll let us know when Steiner comes so we can show up” he explained as you glanced over his shoulder at the phone.

You were stood on the threshold under a thin tin roof, with barely a meter of space available between you.

“First we have to hope no one tries to sell us ecstasy or something” wearily you eyed the murky building you took shelter by.

Neil glanced at you with astonishment before breaking out into a laugh.

“Think ecstasy would actually improve the experience” he calmed down and shrugged, putting on the well-known smug smile.

You feared that the game was on again. You could always have fun with it.

“I’m no expert on drugs but believe it would… complicate some things” you mused while looking up at him with a serious expression.

“You think so?” he stared at you with intense focus, both amused and fascinated by the conversation.

You just nodded, letting yourself be drawn closer by his stare. He always seemed to have the pulling in effect on you. Before you realised you were stood right in front of him, faced with his slightly skewed tie. Without thinking, you reached to tug it down and straighten the wrinkles. When you looked up, Neil’s eyes were boring into yours with passion that took you by surprise. His lips were slightly parted. Puzzled, you tried to catch his gaze again, but his eyes were fixed on your lips. Your breath hitched as he closed the gap and captured your lips with his. He kissed you with eagerness that made you stumble half a step back. His hands caught you on the waist in a flash and pulled you flush against him. That is when your brain finally caught up, and you started to kiss him back with your hands entangled in his hair. You felt breathless but did not mind. Your head was empty, just lost in the moment.

But the spell was broken the moment his phone buzzed in the front pocket of the suit jacket, and he let go of you abruptly. You stared at each other with mirroring stunned expressions before he sighed and took out the phone. You knew what that frown meant. It was time to go.

[fallingin-like]

november 30

one way or the other (or maybe neither) by @nakasomethingkun [requested by @foxsoulcourt​ and @sig66​]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this is an absolutely amazing exploration of neil’s sexuality and what it means within the context of his and andrew’s relationship. with the best description of demisexuality i have found in a fic, everybody needs to read this immediately.

i loved this so much, not just because i’m a fan of everything you write, but because how you portrayed neil in this. so much of what you wrote is something that i can relate to and i think that’s so significant because there is so little acespec representation out there.

parts that really stuck with me:

”neil had kept mum, and when he had been asked about his opinions, he had shrugged and said, ‘they’re both pretty good-looking, i guess.’” oh, this is a big mood

”the thing is, being called gay doesn’t bother him at all, it’s just - he doesn’t think it’s something that fits him correctly” !!!

”but his sexuality hasn’t been a concern for him” i think this is interesting, mostly because i wonder if it’s like this for a lot of people who identify as acespec. i definitely felt this way, always assuming that i would understand ‘when i get older’ and then just continuing to believe that eventually i would feel like that.

”the blow of his mother’s hands and the sting of her words had pummeled any sense of curiosity out of him, but he doesn’t think she extinguished his sexual desire. he thinks that he never had any in the first place” YES! YES! EVERYBODY NEEDS TO READ THIS SENTENCES. this is so wonderful for so many reasons. it shows that his demisexuality isn’t one of the ways that his mother ‘broke him’. it demonstrates that sexuality is something intrinsic to somebody, not something that can be shaped and changed if someone tries hard enough. yes, you can ignore it or act against it, but it doesn’t change how you feel.

”the thing is, even with andrew, neil hadn’t initially thought about it in a sexual way” yeah

”and then he had realized how beautiful andrew is” this is so soft!!!

”the thing is, he can objectively tell who is pretty and who is good looking… he had a good long look at matt and nicky and a few other boys, just to see if he felt any semblance of attraction to them. he didn’t, and he still doesn’t. girls, too, he supposes, are nice to look at, but he doesn’t ever think about doing anything romantic or sexual with any of them” okay, sorry for copying basically the whole paragraph, but this is so perfect. to me, it feels like you’re really validating neil’s sexuality

”a metal tab bounces off his cheek” LOL I LOVE IT WHEN ANDREW DEMANDS NEIL’S ATTENTION

”he’s had enough of assuming a different identity and playing a fictional character, thank you very much” ohmygoodness NEIL

”andrew burrows his feet further under neil’s thighs, trying to leech off more warmth” THIS IS THE CUTEST SENTENCE THAT HAS EVER BEEN WRITTEN (also this is me in the winter anytime i sit next to someone)

”he’s still watching neil, slurping on his beer loudly, probably on purpose, because it gets neil to meet his gaze and arch an eyebrow in question” andrew likes to pretend he doesn’t care about things, but in reality, he’s so so curious and i love that neil is able to see past that haha

”neil counts it as a win; andrew can usually hold out in silence for much, much longer” andrew really cares about neil and it shows! he’s not as hesitant to hold back and expresses his opinion more often with him

”neil would have been able to keep calm if not for how andrew presses neil’s hand flat against his chest and lets go; a sign of trust. neil’s mind goes into overdrive” neil, straddling andrew: super calm, neil, being shown a sign of trust: spontaneously combusts from all the feelings

”this has become slower, much gentler - gentler than two people with so many jagged edges are supposed to be capable of” oh, this is so wonderful. i love the wording that you used

”but andrew’s heart beats steadily beneath neil’s palm, thud thud thud, and neil understands this, even if he doesn’t quite understand labels and sexual orientations and the concept of being attracted to other people” YES THIS IS WONDERFUL

”neil must have been quiet for too long, because he sees the bob of andrew’s throat as he swallows, hard, his jaw stiff” oh

”this, too, is something neil thinks about, how andrew lets him see these little shifts in his expressions, rare and almost undetectable as they are” aghhh seeing the growth in these boys? i feel like a proud mother

”suddenly curious and anxious” neil ;-;

“andrew admits, voice sedate” something about the words that you choose really guides me in how i read this sentence, i can better understand what is saying through his tone

”andrew himself isn’t unaffected; while his face remains unmoved, his hands are clenching and unclenching at neil’s sides” i don’t know, i just love it when we see andrew outwardly react to things. it’s so rare

“it’s one thing for neil to acknowledge how attuned he is to andrew and another for andrew to point it out” i love this sentence, and really the whole content of this conversation. neil is bringing up his insecurities and andrew is affirming him. saying that he believes him when so many people have denied him that. it means so much and i’m grateful for a fic that really takes the time to fully flush this out. i think that a lot of other fics ignore or only mention demiseuality in passing and that’s understandable (sometimes it’s not relevant to the plot to do more than acknowledge it and sometimes people just don’t know about the ace spectrum) but it’s so important to have this representation because there is a canonically demi character in the series!! that’s so huge

”andrew’s hand returns to his cheek, and he meets andrew’s eyes, moored” i love the word moored (or unmoored).

”the thing is, even though he likes the physical aspect of their relationship, there are times when he doesn’t like the heat tugging at the bottom of his belly, the manifestation of desire” this isn’t what my own experience is like, but it’s so interesting to see how other people feel, what kinds of experiences they have and i think this kind of knowledge is really valuable in understanding how people work and what motivates them

”if there is one thing about his mouth that he appreciates, aside from granting him the ability to verbally eviscerate his enemies” NEIL OH MY GOODNESS

”on the days that andrew can’t stand to be touched, neil is content to simply sit next to him” i feel like i’ve read things like this before, but i’ve never appreciated fully how neil’s sexuality complements andrew’s touch aversion in a way that shifts the dynamics of their relationship. andrew is allowed to be the one to initiate everything and that’s so so important to him

”i don’t understand how somebody could look at another person and say they’re hot, or that they would like to sleep with them if given the chance. it just doesn’t work that way for me” i do not think that i have ever fully related to a paragraph more than i relate to this one.

”there is a flicker in andrew’s expression, a water ripple” this is a beautiful sentence

”andrew empties out a shuddering breath. ‘it is the same for me,’ he says, so very quietly, like he is afraid… ‘i would not have done this with anybody else.’” I LOVE THIS. love the wording you used and the lack of contractions for andrew’s dialogue, it feels more impactful and changes the way that i read it. and i am so so invested in the idea of andrew being on the aro/ace spectrum, thank you for bringing this up!! (i personally think he might be demi-romantic, i can’t imagine him being able to easily form a relationship with anyone else given his intensity and his reluctance/difficulties trusting)... what are your thoughts?

having this fic review as my last one for this month feels really fitting to me. you’re definitely one of my favourite authors and i really enjoy everything that you write. in addition, you’re so so lovely and kind and sweet that i am so glad to have the chance to appreciate your writing.

this fic is intensely personal, for the characters, for you, and for me as a reader. there is so much still for me to learn, but to read this and see myself in the text, to realise that there are other people who feel the same way as i do about this topic? i can’t come close to describing how important it is, how it makes me feel. the book series is really close to my heart for many reasons, but a big one is because it introduced me to asexuality, and based on the interactions i’ve had, it has attracted many others like me. this fic is so special for me because it really articulates and clarifies neil’s sexuality in a way that the series didn’t. the insight that you provide is something i think everyone should be exposed to. it might make people more understanding and compassionate. there was a part that reminded me of something i read on aven that says “[demisexuality] is often mistaken as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation” and i think you did such a good job explaining this in this fic.

as with all of your writing, i love your characterization, the way that you have the characters move, speak, and interact. the descriptions that you use are beautiful. i think one of my favourite things about the way that you write is that every sentence has purpose. it’s all there to do something, whether it be describing the environment, setting the tone and atmosphere, displaying characters attitudes, personalities, and behaviours, or moving the plot along. i am definitely guilty of skim-reading a lot and come across a lot of content that contains what i consider to be superfluous sentences/words. but with your writing, i am always careful that i don’t miss a thing. there are so many little details that you include that add to the overall feeling that i experience while reading, but they’re not noticeable if you aren’t looking for them. i think that takes a lot of talent, but more importantly, a lot of skill. when you are able to produce writing that comes across as effortless, but you can’t quite pinpoint why? that’s something that i think is really special. anyway, thank you so much for writing this fic!!!

[whatmack]

UR MATTNEIL....... I MSOBBING

!!!!! AHHH had to post this rn bc it was really getting too long for how I’m formatting this series (why doth my fingers write with such long winds): have some loving neil hours in this house

——————————————-

“You’re going to be a hot mess,” Allison promises over the phone.“Thanks,” Neil says sardonically, juggling the phone to his other shoulder sohe can fit another piece into the puzzle spread over the coffee table. Andrewhas made a game of finding the most psychedelic, difficult to look at puzzleshe can and spreading them over useful surfaces. He gets bored with themquickly, so they remain half-finished unless Neil makes an effort to completethem.“You know I love you,” says Allison. “But you’ve been dating one person, sincelike, forever. You’re like a little baby bird again.”Neil’s fairly certain that’s another insult. He squints at a swirl of glitterypink and tries to see if the shape matches any of the loose pieces he’sarranged in front of him. “It’s Matt.”“Exactly,” Allison coos. “I was there when he won Dan. You have no idea whatyou’re in for, chickadee. No, Parker, down!”Rustling and barking come through the other end. Renee and Allison arefostering hypoallergenic seeing eye dogs, because Renee is a good person andAllison gets hives around anything with fur. Allison pretends she hates the work.Neil sees through her. He’s had practice.“But we already know each other,” Neil says, pushing sternly down on theanxiety rising in his chest. He tries a piece against the edge of the pinkswirl. Nope. “It’s not like we have to make a good impression.”“Just you wait,” Allison says ominously, which doesn’t help Neil’s anxiety atall.Thankfully Neil is too tired to be nervous when he gets off the plane,stumbling from the baggage claim into Dan and Matt’s waiting arms. Checkingbaggage is old hat by now, and he spares a thought to wonder at it as he letsDan sling the case protecting his Exy stick over her back and Matt take overhis carry-on. He falls asleep on Matt’s shoulder in the back seat.

He gets set up in the guest bedroom, same as usual, and it’s not until the nextmorning that Neil thinks to wonder if he should’ve expected to stay in themaster with Matt (and Dan). He flips over onto his back and stares up at thestippled ceiling. It’s not like he’s never slept beside them before, during Foxsleepovers or accidental naps on the couch. Thinking about doing the same thingnow, in this context, gives rise to a squirmy feeling that isn’t quitecomfortable. Not bad, but not good, either. He decides he’s glad he slept inthe guest bedroom this time.The smell of coffee and frying butter beckons him from the kitchen. Neil wrapshimself in a blanket (Matt likes the apartment so cold, he and Dan agree it’s terrible) and makes his way into theopen. Dan is flipping pancakes on the stove, Matt reading from his phone at thetable. Matt’s eyes light up when he sees Neil.“I was hoping I would catch you before I had to leave today! Good morning,” headds as an afterthought, scooting his chair over to leave room for Neil. Neilgrabs the open seat and sits in it crosslegged, drawing the blanket up over hishead. He makes eyes at the three mugs waiting by the coffee maker.“I’m hungry,” Matt whines, leaning back to nuzzle his face into Dan’s back. Shepokes him with the butt of the spatula, shooting Neil a look that says can you believe this guy?“You rush pancakes, you get shit pancakes,” she says. “I know how to cook onething and I’m gonna do it right. Morning, Neil. Coffee?”“Yes.”Matt has practice for most of the day (he’s apologetic, which Neil finds silly,because he’s the last person to think that’s a bad excuse), but it’s a schoolholiday so Dan stays at the apartment with Neil and her playbook. Shegravitates from the table to the couch to the floor to the table again,watching replays on her laptop and taking copious notes. There are fivedifferent pens in her hair before she starts running out of space.With the nonstop rush Neil’s life usually is, Neil is happy to take upresidence spread-eagle in the middle of the rug. He rambles on to Dan about histeammates. He flips through channels until he finds a sepia-steeped Westernmovie and decides it’s good enough. He texts Andrew, and gets back a picture ofthe new cat (whom Matt has finally decided to name “Thunderkick 3000;” Neil andAndrew usually just call him “Teddy”) hanging from a claw snagged in Andrew’sarmband. Dan calls him over for his opinion on her players, and Neil advisesher happily. Though she does keep reminding him that these are freshmen, nothis professional colleagues. Neil keeps reminding her that they’ve got to learn sometime.He doesn’t remember to be nervous until Dan points to the threadbare shirt andpair of (Andrew’s) sweatpants he’s been wearing all day and asks, “Matt’salmost home. Is that really what you’re going out in tonight?”A swift kick to the gut would make him less suddenly nauseous. Neil knows fromexperience. “I don’t know where we’re going.”“He didn’t say to dress fancy,” Dan says, propping her hands on her hips andscanning Neil from head to toe. Neil’s skin prickles. “You’ll probably be goodwith jeans. As long as they’re not fifty years old or ripped. My man’s a classyone.”“Since when?” Dan sticks out her tongue and implies something rude about Neil’s parentage,which all things considered might even be true.She is Neil’s family, though, so she cuddles him on the couch after he getschanged until Matt comes home. The rush of warm air from outside and Matt’sheavy footsteps announce him plainly, but neither of them move until Matt tipshis head over the back of the couch, shaking his sweaty headband onto Dan’sstomach. Dan picks it up and snaps it back into his face. “Ewww,” she says, grinning.“I kinda like coming home to my two favorite people,” Matt says, and whileNeil’s face goes hot he leans down to kiss Dan hello. Neil’s instinct is tolook at his feet, but their faces are in the way and so that would becounterproductive. Well, why should he? Didn’t he and Matt agree that they were going to kiss whenthey saw each other again? Habit makes Neil stop before reaching up, tucking his hands behind his back.“Do I get one too?”“Wh—oh,” Matt says, hand flying up to cover his face. “I. Not yet? Is thatokay?” His voice gets squeakier, so at the end he sounds like a cartooncharacter.“Okay,” says Neil. He starts to ask where they’re going, but Matt stops himwith a hand on his arm.“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says. “Like. I’m totally still down withkissing. Kissing’s great!” The last time Neil saw Matt bouncing around on his feet that much, it wasbecause he had to go to the bathroom; that doesn’t fit, here.“You’re just a romantic,” Dan teases,and there’s the gut-kick again. Neil’s arms tighten around Dan. She pats him.“You good?”“Mmhm,” Neil says into the pens sticking out of her head.“We don’t have to go out tonight,” Matt says, concerned. 

 That sounds awful.“I’m good. I promise!” 

“Really? Because—”

“Shut up. Where are we going?” Neil says, quickly, before any more argumentscan come through. “Is this okay? What I’m wearing.” Dan shifts to the side soMatt can get the full view. 

“Perfect,” Matt says, all bright white teeth, and oh, Neil wants Matt to lookat him like that and say nice things about him forever. 

After a shower and change himself (“He looks hot in his uniform, doesn’t he?”Dan says to Neil, winking, and Neil feels a quiet thrill when he answers, “Yeah”),Matt slings a jacket over his shoulder and offers Neil his hand. Neil takes it,comforted by the familiar gesture. Matt smells like hair gel and soap andcologne, and Neil presses his face into Matt’s shirt in appreciation.“Drive safe,” Dan says, opening the door for them. She pecks them both on thecheek, stretching up for Matt and leaning down for Neil. “Have fun, you two.”“Don’t blow up the house when I’m not here to see,” Matt responds, and they’reoff, carried down the stairs to the parking garage on Dan’s laugh.

[smolmagicalmuffin]

In the Hands of Magic

Finally wrapped up my s4 ep 5 inspired fic. I’m not really confident with this one... especially with the way I wrote the ending. Feedback is appreciated and if anyone wants to recommend a better title that’s fine.  SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5

He had met the octopus before. It was an unusual sight to see the creature perched on a chair, wearing a suit and wiggling its tentacles about. Its voice vibrated the vacuum that surrounded them. It was peculiar but he knew that he was in the presence of something divine. Something bigger than him and older than the universe itself.  The experience had changed him. It delivered much needed confidence and the last message he received… it stuck with him for a while. Which is why he wanted to pay the being a visit. He was hungry for information, sneaking around, hunting down items in the woods, and finding a peaceful spot… all to see it again. It was a difficult process. Quartermaster scared him away from the shed that he was searching for documents in. He had pulled up the wrong plant, earning him a few days of itchy red welts. Entering the dimension again was a bit bumpy. It took a few different chants and almost a month of attempts but eventually he arrived thanks to the full moon. “We meet again Harrison.” “Uh… hello?” He had appeared on the same tea party style table as last time. A football, rocks, a stuffed elephant and a playing card floated past them. The dimension wasn’t as empty as Harrison thought from his first trip. “I figured you would try to enter on your own. You seemed very curious. Be careful with your search for knowledge… might get you into trouble someday.” The octopus waved its tentacles around, words echoing. “I have so many questions.” Harrison grabbed a playing card as it drifted by. He returned it to the deck in this pocket.

“What do I call you? I don’t know your name and I’ve been seeing you as an it? Which just feels rude to me?” He pointed at the octopus, hand shaking.

A chuckle came from the ancient being. “Ah humans. I can tell you have a loving heart. You worry about offending me? That is almost impossible. I am not bound to the labels that your kind tends to adopt. I’ve been called several things throughout millennia. My gender is infinite. You may call me what you wish.”

It took a moment for Harrison to process that. He looked up in shock. “I can name you?”

“Yes. No pressure though. I can understand why it would be a burdensome task.”

Harrison fiddled with his fingers. He glanced at the suit that the octopus was wearing. Today it was a muted green with a yellow bow tie. “I’m not sure… I could name you Gray? You are gray but at the same time that seems stupid?

“That I can accept.” 

“Seriously?” “You worry about the approval of others too much. No need to fret. The name you assign me can be simple. Each name I’ve been assigned by mortals has a unique energy signature. Even if it is the  same name used by separate beings. It binds us together. “ “Should I be concerned?” 

“I am a neutral being assisting and guiding who I desire. That connection will not harm you. Let us make this connection official.” Harrison stared at his companion’s tentacles. “You want me to shake one of you tentacles?”

More laughter erupted from it. “Not necessary.” A tentacle reached out and pressed up against his forehead. The sensation was cold at first but it turned warm. His whole body shivered as energy passed through.

The newly named Gray took its tentacle away. “Complete.”

Harrison shook his head. “That was something.”

“It was nothing more than a simple ritual to bind us together. Do you have any more questions for me?” 

“How can I come back here without all of the work? Where are we?” Harrison waved his hands around.

Gray let out a soft chuckle. “This plane of existence has many names. It is a crossroads between multiple dimensions. Not every being can access this place.”

The stuffed elephant from earlier floated by again. “Stuff I made disappear is here? Is… my brother here? You told me that he said hi.” “Your abilities are quite talented for someone of your age. With some practice I can see you returning completely on your own. That I can teach you. Your brother? I have seen him around here. Do not worry. He is well taken care of.” This confused Harrison. If his brother was floating around in this plane why couldn’t Gray just bring him back? At the same time he was honored to have the attention of a higher being… even if it was a little creepy and slimy. Gray seemed to be trustworthy and a possible… friend? Yes. Harrison wanted to work on a relationship between the both of him. If the octopus couldn’t return his brother maybe it could pass on the knowledge to do it himself. Gray oddly blinked. “You have many thoughts at the moment”

Harrison shot it an offended look. “You read my mind?” “I admit to taking a peek. I was curious of your opinion. If this does disturb you I can be less obvious about it.” “How about you don’t take any peeks?” he snapped. “That I can not do. I have access to the minds of most mortals. They chatter and chatter. It is quite interesting if you give it a try. I do not advise that you attempt to look into mine. It is too incomprehensible and I would hate to lose a wonderful soul like you to insanity.”   “I...okay? Why would I do that? Its rude.” Harrison stammered. “You have goodness in your soul but I sensed a bit of darkness being held at bay. Nothing wrong with a controlled release of your darker wishes and desires. Prevents it all from boiling over.” “Dude you are creeping me out right now and I have no clue how to feel.” “Do you wish to go back?” “No. I want you to teach me things. I’ve been looking for someone to help me with my magic.” The fear in Harrison’s voice was replaced with confidence. This didn’t surprise Gray. It knew the boy viewed it as a potential teacher. He was a bit skeptical  and skittish but willing to listen. 

“I am afraid that this current visit must come to a close.”

Harrison titled his head. “So is that a no?” “I am willing to educate you on the use of your powers. However it will not be easy. We will meet very soon.” Harrison’s surroundings started to turn white. As everything around him faded he heard one last thing. “The hat you own and hold so dear is the key for your return.” He woke up in the forest laying on his back. The stars glittered above him. His hat was beside him. Harrison gazed at it while thinking about Gray’s last words. He made things appear and disappear with the hat. Perhaps it was a portal of some kind. Would stepping into the hat bring him back? But how could he return once he arrived? Wouldn’t that trap him? Could Gray just teleport him? His mind was buzzing with questions.

Harrison sighed and stood up. It was late and he needed rest. He could practice tomorrow. He walked along the path towards the circle of tents. Leaves crunched under his feet and he could have sworn that Quartermaster was behind him at some point. He stepped into the tent he shared with Preston. The young theater kid was snoring quite loudly. Harrison rolled his eyes. This was normal but that fact didn’t make it less annoying. Oh well he was starting to adjust and he was exhausted anyway. He slipped under the covers of his sleeping bag and instantly fell asleep.

“GOOD MORNING CAMPERS!” David’s cheerful voice rang through the recently repaired loudspeaker. Neil had helped and earned extra dessert as payment.

Harrison grumbled and rolled out of his sleeping bag. He got dressed and then shook Preston awake. His hearing was slowly starting to decline so Harrison decided to be a decent friend and help him out when needed.

“Did I miss announcements again?” Preston stretched. “They just started.” On cue they droned in the background. Gwen mentioned “Banana Pudding Night” and there was something about a dodgeball competition later in the week. Preston started humming and walked over to the corner of the tent to change. Clothes flew in Harrison’s direction. He picked those up, eyes rolling. “Hey next time keep your clothing on your side of the tent.” He left the tent.

Preston looked in his direction. “What?” Today’s plans were easy. Eat breakfast, do whatever activity the counselors set up, sneak off to practice magic and test his theory.

He mostly kept to himself. Normally he would be trying to get the other campers to view his illusions but the summer was almost over and he had a mission for the day. Nerris approached him during breakfast which made him both annoyed and oddly happy. Harrison was beginning to enjoy her company and the bickering between them was slowing down. Of course, since they were both children they would fight and argue but they found themselves more as friends than rivals these days. After a long and exhausting hike with David and the others Harrison decided to hangout behind his stage to practice. He made a mental note to update Nerris and Preston on his recent adventures after his next visit to Gray. He felt guilty for his distance lately.

He stared at the inside of his hat. “I don’t see anything?” He shoved his hand in and pulled out a rabbit. It sniffed at him before hopping off. 

“That didn’t work.” For the next half hour Harrison tried multiple things. Screaming into the hat. Jumping on the hat. Shoving his head inside the hat… which got him the closest result. He could see the dimension and was that Gray waving a tentacle to say hi?

He was close.

Harrison sighed and placed his hat on the ground. Instead of jumping, he would step into the hat. Maybe this would work? It was a more controlled action. 

He did just that. Once both feet were in the hat he was sucked downwards, landing face first onto the tea table. “There goes my tea. What a shame.” Harrison lifted his head up. Gray was directly in front of him and his suit was covered in tea. “My bad.” “That is no problem. I am used to this sort of thing.” In a flash of light Gray’s suit was clean again and Harrison was sitting in a chair.

“Congratulations. You discovered a way to get here on your own.”

“I mean… I did before?” He shrugged. “Ah yes. It was not smooth and simple like this time however.” Gray almost laughed. “I don’t know. Is almost throwing up as I’m hurled towards another plane of existence smooth?” Harrison’s voice raised in pitch with annoyance. “You will adjust. Travel is not rest on your mortal body.” “Quartermaster? How are you two connected? I don’t think I ever asked about that. And… what did he mean when he said that the world needed to be saved very millennia?” “Those are some difficult questions.” “Not really.” “Remember when I said that your search for knowledge might get you in trouble some day? This is what I meant.”  Gray’s eyes glowed for a moment causing Harrison to shiver.  “I can answer some of your questions but others will have to wait for the future.” “I’m sorry.” Harrison quickly apologized. Gray stretched out a tentacle and patted him on the head. “Humans like you make me have faith in your species. It is not very often I notice purehearted individuals. Without that… well Earth may no longer exist.” This concerned Harrison for a moment. Why was the octopus so focused on the idea of destruction? Yet so encouraging of his better traits and oddly trustworthy? He grew silent and awkwardly stared up.

“So what can you teach me?”

The next few weeks were very busy. Harrison’s perspective on Gray slowly begin to shift from fear to an acceptance of the odd habits that the being displayed. With every visit they grew closer and  eventually there was a friendship of sorts. Gray was annoyed but amused with the constant string of questions from Harrison. The young magician was also getting more powerful and beginning to stand up for himself and his friends.

On the last day of camp, Harrison decided to check in.

“Here again?” 

“I just wanted to say hi really quick.” He leaped up from his chair and began to float. “Still not used to this.” Harrison slowly did a flip in the air as he drifted away from the table. It was like he was underwater with a lack of gravity.

Gray began to glow. Harrison found himself in a different but yet familiar section of the dimension. Lots of objects surrounded him. His heart pounded as he realized the significance of the objects. It wasn’t just one or two objects that he made vanish before. It was almost everything. Which meant…

A figure came into view.  

“Blake!”

Harrison stuck out his arm. Kicking his feet, he got closer and closer to Blake. He did the same in response, yelling out in glee. His hand finally met his brother’s. He wrapped him in a big hug. “I’ve missed you so much...” Blake looked at Harrison with wide blue eyes. “Are we going home now?” “Yes we are.” In a poof of smoke they both vanished.

Pride was a rare emotion for Gray’s kind but with Harrison, it had those feelings towards the boy. Maybe in the future he would make a wonderful guardian, a similar role to Quartermaster. Humanity as a whole was going to be okay. Magic was in good hands.

[songofadaydream]

my real-time thoughts on rocketman the 4th time I’ve seen it in total and 2nd time this week, let’s go bois *very long post warning*

fair warning I just finished jojo rabbit less than an hour ago and it was way more emotional than I expected, so she’s probably going to be an emotional wreck tonight ladies!! :)) also, I will be pausing the movie throughout! just wanted to let you know

starting the night out right with some lay’s salt and vinegar chips and a lush face mask

not even a part of the movie but when the studio logos come on a version of goodbye yellow brick road and just *french kiss*

it’s starting and I am here for it!!

taron comes looking like an icon and a snack. actually, a whole meal. the heart glasses omggg

“how long’s this gonna take.” “that’s really up to you.”

i never noticed this before but taron stares right into the camera as he introduces himself

“my name is elton hercules john. and I’m an alcoholic. and a cocaine addict. and a sex addict. and a bulimic. i’m also a shopaholic who was problems with weed, prescription drugs, and anger management.”

“well my dealer was out of town I thought this seemed like a good alternative,”

“and I wanted to get better.”

um the transition into the full on musical number of the bitch is back.

this tiny little child actor playing elton saying bitch 10 million times. props to his parents for letting him do that.

um also his riffs??

just the way his mom says, “love to.”

god his dad is a DOUCHE

“when are you going to hug me”🥺🥺

the flashlight conducting scene!! they’re playing rocketman and it’s so beautiful and cute!! whe lil reggie/elton gets on the mini piano oh my god

when he looks at his mom’s fashion magazines...gay fashion icon beginnings...

*looks up* “can we go home,”

he starts playing his teacher’s song and she’s just like 😦😦

idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t really like the I want love scene. I just don’t really like the switching of singer, the arrangement, and tempo. just my opinion though :/ also that’s the only weak scene of this movie I think

elton’s grandmother appreciation post send tweet

that last I want love though.

when his mom is clearly getting it on in a car and her date is like, “I’m..,,..a friend of.,.,,..your mum’s,.,,”

his dad leaves. heartbreaking!

when he wipes the tear away...

“i discovered records. and rock and roll :)”

playing classical music with an elvis presley haircut is an aesthetic no I don’t take criticism

“excuse me. you can’t put that there,” “why not,” “it’ll get knocked off.”

when he transforms into teenage elton and an amazing musical/dance number starts

that face taron makes when the door shuts on the car

“it’s not just your name. you gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you wanna be.”

that kiss with one of the band members is so hot.

peeing in a bottle in disgusting I’m sorry.

“what’d you say your name was again?” “elton.” “elton. elton what.” “john. elton john.”

ray is cute af. also the transcendental moment when he hands elton the envelope with bernie’s lyrics in it.

“one frothy coffee, no froth.”

jamie is so cute what the heckkkk

singing streets of loredo in a cafe is so wholesome and adorable

holy sHIT BORDER SONG IS STARTING

bernie and elton are literally so cute together as friends omg

also completely digging these like early 70s silk scarf things.

“yeah I could just take those songs and leave if you like,”

“what about the fact that you’re a f*g...your little friend here...is a homosexual.”

bernie not caring whether or not elton is is gay is Peak Pure ™

“oH fUcK”

when they stumble home drunk. the cuteness I can’t.

“you are a ssshhHHITT hot piano player, you have an aMAZING voice, and I’m telling you there is something special that happens...when you sing our songs.”

the way the two handle elton’s leaning in for a kiss is SO GOOD and I could write an entire essay on it. “we became inseparable after that. the brother I never had.”

“anyway I took his advice. told arabella. she took it quite well actually,” *cut to her throwing his piano out the window* “sHe KiLlEd mY pIaNo”

your song and everything about that scene is perfection. that’s all I have to say.

“you can’t just sPRING the troubadour on me.”

“put on a great

fucking

show. and just don’t kill yourself with drugs?”

amoreena is so good how didn’t I realize this until now!

doug flirting w/bernie kills me every time.

“ooh dude. what the hell’re you wearing?”

“my stage gear.”

*bernie stumbles in drunk* “reggie! reggie reggie. neil diamond is at the bar he’s talkin to leon russell and half the fuckin beach boys eh??”

“jesus sHIT bernie,”

that little, “well come on then,” after being yelled by bernie & ray

“please welcome all the way from london, england...”

ELTON JOHN

when he starts singing it’s like the smoothest molasses ever and I am HERE for it.

there’s an interview where taron says, and I quote, “those dungarees made my ass look massive” wholeheartedly agree my guy. but in best way possible

when they start floating

elton’s jacket and the magic that is the entirety of tiny dancer <3 <3

there’s a whole ass bed in a tipi?? what the hell

“so you like the songs then?” “not quite as much as the singer,” OH SHIT THE GAY TENSION

“there are moments in a rockstar’s life that defines who he is...and it’s going to be a wild ride,”

it’s a weird scene to like but I really love the take me to the pilot love scene. the song is so good and perfect for that moment, and they seem genuinely attracted to each other (even though john ends up being a huge dick later)

the way he takes the glasses off

the lil race to get their pants off is weird but it works

elton just seems so happy and content at the end and it’s so refreshing.

when he gets the shoes and the glasses <3

he looks so happy and fulfilled my little boy

why is it so cute when he and Kiki record don’t go breaking my heart

elton stops it the SECOND he sees John oh my goddd

kiki’s little “ough” when she sees john

“elton what’s going on are we going again or should we go for a pint,” *sees john walk into the closet* “yeah no yeah you should go for a pint”

HONKY CAT IS ONE OF IF NOT THE BEST SCENES/SONGS IN THE ENTIRE FILM THERE I SAID IT

cocaine induced head butt of a soccer ball is iconic

why did they have to get rid of rayyyy

the, “best of luck to you elton,” is so bitter yet genuinely well-wishing??

“welp...that was *absolutely* horrible,” is such a mood

the scene where he goes to come out to his dad is so incredibly heartbreaking, especially when it cuts to him in rehab.

taron deserves an oscar just for throwing that chair alone.

“what have you got to do the get a fucking drink around here, eh?” and then he takes a swig from a bottle in the car with john

when he calls his mom to come out. that shit hurts.

“i just hope you realize you’re choosing a life of being alone forever...you’ll never be loved properly.” he opens his mouth. it’s so awful guys. and then he fucking gets punched by john what an absolute dick.

“real love’s hard to come by. so you find a way to cope without it.”

the scene that comes right after that when he’s getting ready for his show and snorts cocaine and takes a swig of a drink really shows how far off the deep end he had gone. it’s heartbreaking, really.

“PEOPLE DON’T PAY TO SEE rEgInALd dWiGhT THEY PAY TO SEE ELTON JOHN. DON’T EVER TELL ME HOW TO DO MY FUCKING JOB.” “WRITE THE FUCKING LYRICS, BERNIE. LET ME DEAL WITH THE REST,” “i’m sorry,” “i know.”

that headdress tho

ok but pinball wizard absolutely slaps and so does the montage with all of his changing outfits

oh my god the drag queen in his room though

NONONONO JOHN IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE FUCKING CHEATING ON HIM IT IS NOT OKAY.

what an inconvenient time for his mom to waltz in

“and what a shy little boy you were! look at you now.”

“mum you’re ON my GOWN,”

i wish i were as cool as bernie getting out of that car and coming inside

“yEaGhHhH...go get a lil drink. yehyeh,”

get ready for one of the most impactful scenes of 2019 if not the 2010s ladies

“FOR MY NEXT TRICK i’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

again, I could write an entire essay on this but the fact that he is literally hitting rock bottom with his childhood self down there is so impactful and powerful and one of the greatest artistic choices they made in this film. also the cinematography is gorgeous.

and oh, by the way, taron actually performed this underwater. no cgi or special effects. where is his oscar.

john is a dick to him on the stretcher but bernie looks so genuinely concerned for his friend and I love that.

it is absolutely gut wrenching when they pump his stomach.

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND ANGLES AND SILHOUETTES WHEN IT GETS TO THE BIG CHORUS PART IS SO SO SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND AMAZING AND I WILL NEVER, EVER GET OVER IT.

the nurses getting him ready for what was probably his biggest/most iconic performance to date is something so incredible, and such a great choice cinematically, story wise, and really emotion wise too. he was at his absolute rock bottom and did one of if not the most iconic performance a little over 24hrs later, and I think this little part really helps to illustrate that.

taron actually hit that baseball and I’m so proud of him for it.

the liftoff is so great. and then it cuts to him in a plane with smoke on his head which just. ugh.

hot take: elton’s addiction wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had just gone to bernie’s fucking ranch with him

THE QUEEN OUTFIT IS SO ICONIC IM SORRY

also if this movie doesn’t win the goddamn best costume design I swear to god.

YES BENNIE AND THE JETSSSSS

this is also such a great scene as well omg.

when he flashbacks to his childhood and difficult and also great moments in his life during this sequence. that hit hard.

i feel like no one talks about taron’s arms enough? they as thiccc as his thighs why y’all sleeping on them

“You signed a contract with me years ago, so I’ll still be collecting my 20% long after you’ve killed yourself.” that’s cold as hell.

when he throws that glass at the door. and then victim of love starts playing straight afterwards UGH dexter fletcher you need to STOP and CALM DOWN

listen I don’t know elton was thinking and/or feeling in terms of life and his sexuality when he decided to marry renata but can we talk about his wedding outfit?? wtffff it’s so gay and if you don’t see it you’re blind.

the look his mom gives him I’m DEAD

they literally had separate rooms this was not a normal marriage. the breakfast scene is so sad though.

“did being married make you happy?” “not really, I’m gay.” hands down one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie.

why does he have sperm on this firework suit coat.

“you know I am so sick of running away from who I am.”

the way his voice wavers and cracks is not okay. and neither is his mom twisting everything around so that she’s made out to be the victim. and don’t cry in the bathroom elton please buddy. you’ll be okay.

“campaign to kill yourself is going well, eh?”

“when did you give up? if you don’t care about yourself how can you expect anyone else to...it’s not weak to ask for help.”

goodbye yellow brick road is such a beautiful song and scene and why didn’t we get Jamie to sing more I mean come on he does so incredibly well in this scene.

also I didn’t really realize that they flipped a few verses around for the movie. and elton yelling and screaming at bernie as he leaves is so powerful.

elton yelling at himself.

this is also when he has a heart attack?? chest infection?? I don’t really know but he falls down the stairs and Mr. Dick Manager John makes him continue to perform.

and there he is in the first scene’s costume. singing the rest of yellow brick road.

and there he goes. off to rehab. a full circle moment. good for him for finally taking control of his life and addictions.

“yeah but I started acting like a c*nt in 1975. I just forgot to stop.”

“maybe I should’ve tried to be more ordinary.” his grandmother walks in. “he was never ordinary.” my. heart. can. not. take. this.

this next scene where he talks to everyone in his mind is incredibly powerful and I will shout it from the rooftops until the end of time.

“my problem is that I believed you loved me. and you’re incapable of it.” the SHADE

“actually I think I’m okay with strange.”

BERNIE COMES IN MY LOVE

“bernie...I never told you how much I need you.” shit fam here comes the waterworks

“you just need to remember who you are. and be okay with it.”

and then his childhood self comes in. “I haven’t been reggie Dwight for years.” “when are you going to hug me.” he engulfs his young self in a hug. this is one of the best moments of the film and I am now full on crying.

I can’t get over how wholesome bernie’s visit is with Elton. the sweetest thing ever.

“you’re not scared you’re not good without it, you’re scared to feel again...this is the part you gotta do on your own. these...need music”

“thank you bernie.” “you’re my brother.” <3

and then he finally sits down to write again. and it’s pure magic.

I’m still standing is a a feat of what he’s been through the entire movie. finally, he’s sober, he’s accepting of himself/his sexuality, and is getting to a better place. plus, it mirrors the original music video, and is everything I’ve ever needed and more. *the* perfect scene and song to end upon.

he’s so happy at the end. and then the epilogue starts and says he’s been sober for 28 years and counting, set up an aids charity, still writes with bernie, met his husband David 25 years ago and is finally loved properly (rip my heart out of my chest, why don’t you), has two sons and is retiring from touring. and and the I’m gonna love me again plays with him and taron and it’s just such a perfect song to end, and I can’t.

so. those are my thought while watching rocketman for the 4th time in total, 2nd time this week. sorry that’s it’s so long. I just love this film so much. anyways, it’s almost 2am and I’m an emotional wreck. I’m gonna go cry and go to bed now. thanks for making it this far. :) <3

[for-peace-war]

Long Post! Hit J if you want to skip!

My guild has recently had a lot of conversation on Jessica Price and Peter Fries who were recently fired from ArenaNet’s Guild Wars 2 development team.  I’m pretty sure that most everyone that could care has heard about it, but what is confusing me is why people are trying to die on hills for two people that really did not come across as anything other than gatekeeping assholes.

To be clear, if you disagree with this statement then that’s fantastic.  Because I am posting this on social media, I am expressing tacit approval for you to respond to it, dislike it, deconstruct it, or whatever you wish.  This doesn’t mean that I have to like what is being said, but the condition that “if I post this on the internet, then someone may reply to it” is a fairly sound one.

To cut through a lot of the fluff, I’ll summarize:

A developer, Jessica Price, was on her personal twitter discussing the problems with MMO development.

Per usual, a mob formed to express their opinions.  It’s the Internet, so that means saying a lot of crude, disgusting, sexist, and absurd things.

Within this mess, one person - Deroir - decided to voice his own opinion.  I wouldn’t say that he’s an expert (I wouldn’t say that she was either since Guild Wars 2 is a mess...) but I will indicate that among the throngs of the “laymen” (as Fries put it), he at least has some affiliation with the IP. 

Deroir Says: Really interesting thread to read! However, allow me to disagree *slightly*. I dont believe the issue lies in the MMORPG genre itself (as your wording seemingly suggest). I believe the issue lies in the contraints of the Living Story's narrative design; (1 of 3) When you want the outcome to be the same across the board for all players' experiences, then yes, by design you are extremely limited in how you can contruct the personality of the PC. (2 of 3) But, if instead players were given the option to meaningfully express *their* character through branching dialogue options (which also aren't just on the checklist for an achievement that forces you through all dialogue options), (3 of 4 cause I count seemingly...) then perhaps players would be more invested in the roleplaying aspect of that particular MMORPG. Nonetheless, I appreciate the insightful thread! (End)

To which Price replies: thanks for trying to tell me what we do internally, my dude 9_9

And Deroir replies: You getting mad at my obvious attempt at creating dialogue and discussion with you, instead of just replying that I am wrong or otherwise correct me in my false assumptions, is really just disheartening for me. You do you though. I'm sorry if it offended. I'll leave you to it.

The above is their initial discourse and honestly because I don’t feel like posting all of the tirade that follows, I’ll leave it at that for now.

The initial concern was: Should Jessica Price have been fired for ‘going off’ on Deroir? An example of things said:

“Like, the next rando asshat who attempts to explain the concept of branching dialogue to me — as if, you know, having worked in game narrative for a fucking DECADE, I have never heard of it — is getting instablocked. PSA I’m not on the clock here. I’m not your emotional courtesan just because I’m a dev. Don’t expect me to pretend to like you here.”

That is not acceptable, at all.  I would fire anyone that was interacting with my customers while being associated with me, on the basis of that alone.  It is true that she was on her own “private” account, but she was discussing work related information, using her work related title, and using her work related position to open a dialogue (or a monologue, as it seems) with those that were actively purchasing my product.

There have been arguments that he mansplained (read: explained something to her as if she were unaware despite her experience based on her gender) and then secondary calls that “she had dealt with a lot of harassment before so this wasn’t her fault,” but those are two faulty premises:

First, because she was the one that opened this discussion on social media.  If she wanted to avoid responses or only take on “educated information” then she could have either placed it in an article or circulated her complaint among her former co-workers. 

Second, if there was a sea of hateful people that had been harassing her, then this hardly seems like the right time to “take it out” on someone.  I do not know the struggles of women on the Internet, but I know what it’s like be a black person on the Internet so I can say only that while it is true that you will always assume a certain amount of hostility, just taking it out on the first person that speaks is absurd.  

If, for example, there really was a rabid mob crying for Price’s blood, then why wouldn’t she unload her ‘emotional courtesan’ spiel on them and not someone that as objectively as possible was being inoffensive if not a bit tone deaf to her mood? The self-fulfilling remedy that he “was mansplaining” as justification for her very rude tirade absolutely does not address that his only offense was again, speaking to a very neutral point.

What is worse, this has become a matter of someone being fired over her gender rather than the truth of the matter, which is that she was just an asshole.  People are canceled, rightly, from minority groups all the time.  If Kanye West flew off the handle on someone, I wouldn’t rush to defend the ‘slavery is a choice” dude even if it is good to have black men in the spotlight.  Cut the string and let them drown under the undertow of their own shit, as far as I am concerned.

Arguing that systemic oppression mandates random aggression is not appropriate.  Certainly it explains why it happens, but as we all have our own independent dignities then you cannot justify a random attack as one that was “deserved.” Let us remove from the discourse that Deroir was a person affiliated with GW2 and leave it simply at a person says something that a person at a public forum doesn’t like.  Because, private or not, twitter is public and social media...  And that person then starts shouting at them for being an asshole, in what way is that permissible or excusable?

It isn’t.  The company was right to fire her, not because of “capitalism” or “corporatism” but because she acted out of line.  If anything, many of us have learned there is a higher burden against us for the fact we are of a protected class, yet that is not an excuse not to aspire and to strive.  Female developers are pretty undervalued and underrepresented in the gaming industry, so why would she throw away her chance like that?

If you argue, “well she doesn’t have the responsibility of putting on for anyone else other than herself,” then you immediately invalidate the need to protect her.  Being a woman is not the same as being a representative of what women can do. Margaret Thatcher and Joan Rivers are not hailed as feminist icons for a reason.

Now the “gatekeeping asshole” part comes up when you get into the nitty gritty of what Fries, who was also fired (and as far as I know identifies as a male), added to the conversation:

“Here’s a bit of insight that I legitimately hope he reflects on: she never asked for his feedback. These are our private social media accounts — imagine you’re an astronomer and you start sharing some things you’ve learned in the last few months since you began a research project observing Saturn, only to have observation techniques explained to you by a layman ... Jessica is great at her job and deserves to be treated with respect.”

The sentiment doesn’t hold water for quite a few reasons, so let’s deconstruct those because that’s what this post is about.

First, we’ve already touched on “these are private social media accounts.”  Yes, we know they are “off the clock,” but they are discussing their job all the same.

The example of an astronomer also really sets the pace for what is to follow though. Is a game developer like an astronomer?  A person that more or less puts down the tracks that players work through? I don’t think the requirements between the two are remotely similar, but let’s move beyond that and say, an astro-physicist like Neil deGrasse Tyson decides to get into a conversation with some people at a local pub!

Neil is a little miffed about research on Saturn’s observation and one of the pub goers chimes in that maybe it’d help if they used some of the techniques learned in deep sea exploration to observe Saturn.  

Immediately, Neil says “Thanks for the non-answer, my dude” and then returns to say “And by the way, you colonizing piece of shit, I work at the Rose Center of Earth and I know than you ever possibly could, so next time you open your mouth remember that I know more than you ever will because I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, shithead. I’m not your emotional porchmonkey.”

I mean...

I assume you’re going to get a tap from someone about how that wasn’t okay to say? Now even if there were a lot of people getting boisterous, why pick that person out? Even if this is your “go in moment” why pick a person that’s inoffensive?  Because you have something to prove.  And well, the company has something to prove as well: it isn’t going to allow its image to be tarnished.

But at the heart of it, is this concept that the people she discussed this with are the knuckle dragging laymen incapable of understanding the Promethean wonder that is game development.  If that is the case, then why discuss it at all?  The questions continue to pile and the explanations became weaker.

In the end, I don’t like ArenaNet but I also think Reddit is a disgusting pit of scumbag racists, sexists, and shitlords.  That being said, it really sucks that both of these companies had an easy pass to drop two people that were clearly negative elements to their environments.  

This isn’t a hill worth dying on.  Hell, this isn’t even a hill worth stopping and getting a picture of.  Because at the end of the day?

Jessica Price isn’t right. 

[nickireadstfc]

The King’s Men, Chapter 13 – WHAT THE FUCK, Pt. 2

In which Neil’s father happens.

Sounds good? Who are we kidding. It’s time for Nicki to read The King’s Men.

So.

We finally made it here after all, huh?

Glad you’ve come around to watch the show, friends. Gather round, sit down with a blanket and a book to clutch, and get ready for literal hell.

Our boy has been running from this for two and a half books, and now he’s finally – unfortunately – made it. Neil has stopped running, has stopped hiding, has shed his lies and his disguises and even his name, and has overall wished his life goodbye.

Except, well.

We, of course, have not.

Let’s go.

             Lola had lined the back of his hand with crosshatches and burned angry circles into his knuckles. Another burn mark stained the tender flesh between his thumb and index finger. The burns were starting to ooze, but dried blood smothered most of the mess.

Holy shit.

My non-native English speaking ass had to look up what crosshatch is, and yeah, Lola essentially cut Neil’s (Nathaniel’s?) hand up into a nice argyle pattern.

What the fuck. #deathoutforlolamalcolm

(Thank you to permanentchaos for this gem of a hashtag.)

             He was in the cellar, which meant they’d come in through the garage. An underground tunnel led from one to the other, installed for the sole purpose of moving the occasional body.

Natch.

Fucking natch that this man would have a BODY MOVING TUNNEL.

The Extra™ runs in the family, apparently.  

             Nathaniel and his mother had escaped through it nine years ago. It was only fitting that he was returned home the same way.

Okay, nice. That’s some good ass poetic symmetry right there folks.

I’m in a state of anxiety and dread right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate some sweet sweet writing.

             Nathaniel brandished his hands at [Lola]. “These are going to get infected if I don’t clean them soon.”

             “I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.”

             “You’re not me,” Nathaniel said, and got to his feet.

Glad to see that Nathaniel is as much of a sassy shit as Neil was.

I’m not kidding, this had been an actual concern of mine.

However, my tiny flicker of enjoyment of this scene is quickly dissolved as things developed and they had to develop – we meet The Man™.

Mr Chop Chop himself, Nathan Wesninski, has entered the room, accompanied by his bodyguard Arnold Schwarzenegger, Evil Edition.

Oh boy.

             “On your feet,” Nathan said. (…) “You know better than to sit in my presence.”

             Nathaniel told himself to stay put, but he was already getting up.

Heck nope.

Just this bit right here already tells us so much about this character and the power dominance in his relationship to Nathaniel, and those are legit his first few lines.

Nathaniel has been so conditioned to follow his father’s orders that he literally can’t not do it. Jesus fuck.

Bless you (but also curse you), Nora, for always introducing characters so spot on.

             “My son,” Nathan said. “My greatest disappointment in life. Where is my second greatest?”

             “Mom is dead,” Nathaniel said.

Holy sHIT.

“My second greatest”, can Nora STOP WRITING SUCH GOOD VILLIANS.

This is a+ wording right there.

I am very, very quickly eating my words about my appreciation of Nathan’s character as he shares some of his, well, fantasies. And not the sexy kind.

(Although I would have a similarly repulsed reaction to hearing Nathan Wesninski’s sexual fantasies, thank you very much.)

             “I’m indecisive. I might skin you alive. I might take you apart one inch at a time and cauterize the wounds. I think no matter what I choose we are going to start by slicing the tendons in your legs.”

Any other time, I would have called him out for being ~Dramatic~, but after what Lola did to Nathaniel in the car and how much she was not overstating her cruelty, I’m kinda fucking terrified.

And mind you, Lola is supposed to be the watered down version of Mr Chop Chop.

Where do I sign up for an exit program right the fuck now.

             “Fuck you,” Nathaniel spat at him, voice sharp with horror.

Glad to see Nathaniel keeping up the Brand™ even in this time of stress.

And by glad I mean absolutely peeing myself in fear.

             Metal flashed a scarce inch from [Nathaniel’s] face as Nathan took a swing with the axe.

And with that, Nathaniel’s father, his gang, his cleaver and his axe set to doing good on their word.

All of this is of course very reminiscent of Neil’s scar-inducing trip to Evermore in The Raven King, except in TRK most of the torture done to him was off-screen, whereas here it is very fucking not so.

I am attributing it solely to my dad exposing me to violent action movies at a young age that I did not get sick reading this.

This is an 18+ book, folks. And in all seriousness, I feel like there should have been a warning about that somewhere.

I am sparing y’all the descriptions of the following pages because you’ve already been through it once already, but.

Please know that this is the most explicitly violent, brutal and terrifying shit that has gone down in this entire series so far (and also, I hope, ever.)

             “We’ll slit your ankles, then your knees,” Nathan told Nathaniel. “And if you try to crawl away I will take your arms from you too.”

Literally HOW IS THIS MAN REAL.

(He’s not. He’s fictional. I know that. Shut up.)

HOW DOES SOMEONE DO SHIT LIKE THIS. HOW DOES SOMEONE DO SHIT LIKE THIS TO THEIR OWN SON.

I’m quitting. I am the fuck OUT.

Nice knowing y’all, but I am deleting this account, see y’all nev–

             “Lola,” Nathan said, but he didn’t get to finish.

             The cellar door opened from the outside, and a swarm of strangers came in shooting.

Wait, what.

Oh SHIT.

STUART’S HERE, the badass distant uncle has come to save the day.

Does this feel a little ex machina? Yes.

Do I care? Absolutely the fuck not, because now my boy Nathaniel gets to live another day with both of his legs intact.

             Nathan was kneeling in the middle of the room with four guns aimed at his head. He started to get to his feet, but someone knocked him back down with the butt of a rifle.

Now that’s what I like to see, folks.

Hit that fucker.

             “How dare you,” Nathan said savagely. “You defy Moriyama by coming here and killing my men. You are a dead man walking. You don’t have the power to–“

             Stuart didn’t let him finish. Nathan’s body jerked as two bullets punched holes into his chest.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL QUALITY CONTENT.

HECK YEAAAHHHHHHH.

When his father is killed, though, Nathaniel has an interesting experience:

             That wrenching feeling in his chest wasn’t grief, but a need so fierce Nathaniel thought it would kill him. (…) He couldn’t breathe, much less explain the terrifying exhilaration.

Sounds to me like he’s experiencing Wanting To Have Killed Daddy Himself, but I could be wrong?

Could also be relief, if you consider that Nathaniel legit spent over half of his life running from that guy.

I am mildly confused here as to whether this is what Nora means or if we’re not supposed to understand this feeling either and it’ll be revealed/explained later.

If anyone has anything (spoiler-free) to offer on this, hit me up.

Moving on – Stuart Ex Machina gets Nathaniel out of the house and hands him right over to the FBI, which is at least better than the Torture Cellar of Hell.

             “My name is Nathaniel Wesninski,” he said, “and my father is dead.”

HECK YEAH.

Tattoo this sentence on my forehead, please and thank you.

We’ve been waiting for this for TWO AND A HALF BOOKS, I lowkey can’t believe we’re finally here.

This new development is also pretty okay by Nathaniel (and me), seeing as it’ll finally provide him with some good good medical attention.

Oh, and also opportunities to be a sassy shit.

             “Are you going to be a problem for us?”

             Nathaniel struggled to look up and focus on the man’s face. “I’ve been a problem for nineteen years. I’m too tired to be one tonight.”

I love this boy, whether Neil or Nathaniel or whoever.

Said boy then – understandably – passes the fuck out, and wakes again in a place where I wished he would have been approximately fifty times those past two and a half books:

A goddamn hospital, getting himself goddamn patched up.

Oh, also the feds are here.

Oh, also he’s kind of under arrest.

What can you do.

             “We’ve got a string of offenses we could charge you with, starting with the fake IDs in your wallet and escalating to your mother’s current whereabouts. Just let us know if we’ve got to play hardball.”

             Nathaniel made a rude noise. “You couldn’t at least use an Exy idiom?”

I am CACKLING.

This absolute NERD.

„Yes officer, you have me arrested, but gosh fuckin darnit honor the might Exy, will you.”

Nathaniel, despite what he said to them last night, continues being A Problem for the FBI, answering only the minimum of questions and then turning to repeating pretty much one phrase, despite what the feds try to bribe/threaten him with:

             “I want to see my teammates.”

Fucking iconic.

Oh yeah, also said teammates have been brought in for questioning and now know everything about Nathaniel’s dirty gritty backstory. Oops.

I doubt they will care, but apparently the FBI does not share my opinion.

             “You’re wrong,” Nathaniel said. “They can’t leave without Andrew, and Andrew won’t go anywhere until he talks to me.”

             “You don’t know that.”

             “Yes, I do.”

HECK YES HE DOES.

Andrew will absolutely rip him a new one for hiding all this shit from him, but I’ll be damned if he won’t activate heaven and earth to see his boyfriend.

             “You can take me to him, or you can let me rot silently in a cell somewhere. Those are your only options.”

Heck YES.

God, those two. <3

The FBI are not as hyped about Andreil as I am, sadly, and the next day they take him away into custody without letting him see anyone.

A blasted shame.

             Nathaniel couldn’t sleep, but at least he could daydream his father’s death over and over again. That was almost enough to make him smile, and eventually it thawed the chill from his veins.

And in a way, that is strangely comforting.

I’ll see y’all next week.

If you like what I do here and you want to help me through the heartbreak of this chapter, why not buy me a coffee? Every lil bit helps, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!

[lpthanhy]

This is why I can’t shut up about BtoB….

I don’t have the energy to mess with Photoshop today but I want to contribute to the BtoB tag and I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while and I have no one to say it to so I’ll put it here.

Eunkwang: My favorite singers have always been the ones who sing with emotion. No one can deny BtoB’s leader that. His Piece of BtoB blew me away but his appearance on Immortal Songs 2 with his mother…soul searing. One of the best things about Eunkwang to me though, is his overall vibe. He’s always game for things and so supportive. When he’s filling his leader role (even in his duet with his mother he was showing that side of him) it makes me…so content. It shows that he looks after things well.

Minhyuk: Firstly I need to say that looking at him…his rapping is unexpected to me. He’s just got a sort of rough quality to it I wouldn’t expect? I don’t know how to describe it. It’s growly. He sings beautifully too and I wish we heard it more. If I had heard his rapping and then his singing before I knew of him I don’t know that I would have believed they were the same person. My first introduction to BtoB was Peniel’s Hello Counselor episode. Minhyuk’s words about how it looks glamorous but isn’t and what he said about how Peniel worries about his contributions to the group made me “soft” as the kids say. You could see his concern and love. “Nationality, age, and gender cannot stop love.” When he speaks it is just so thoughtful. I also have to say his solo and dance during “Movie” always has me doing that little shoulder thing….

Changsub: His voice hits me in the gut. Every time I’m listening to BtoB and his part comes in I feel it. I don’t know what it is about it but it really gets to me. I could go on an on about it and how it feels like a hug from someone I love and trust but I should probably stop before it gets creepy. I also appreciate his antics. I know everyone in BtoB has antics and I appreciate all of them but I think maybe I appreciate his the most. During promotions for “Movie” he’d sometimes rub Peniel’s head as they passed by and that gave me life. His face when they win awards? His faces, period. When he sings at people…ugh. My biggest regret in life may turn out to be not seeing him in the upcoming Edgar Allen Poe musical. If I had a bias it would be Changsub. (I guess the parlance would be: I’m OT7 biased and he’s my bias wrecker?)

Hyunsik: I already know I won’t have as much to say about him but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate him as much. I could really just put “Someday” and that could maybe express everything I feel about him. I just feel so calm when I hear his voice or see his face and calm isn’t something I get to feel often. When he sang his father’s songs on Knowing Brothers I was so touched. “Even if I meet a little mermaid I’ll keep swimming.” I can’t wait for his songs on Brother Act.

Peniel: As I said earlier Peniel was my introduction to BtoB. I stumbled across his episode of Hello Counselor somehow and I immediately wanted to protect this man and give him the world. (Or at least some vanilla ice cream.) I love his vlogs and the fact that he works so hard to bring them to us. I relate so much to his reaction to the other members’ affections. I love the fact that he pats people’s butts when he greets them. I’m confused but I love it. “That Girl” was such a summer bop. I listened to it to get myself pumped up on the way to work. Also, I love his sort of lisp in the way he speaks. I have one too and it honestly makes me feel less self conscious about a thing I’m doing where people I don’t know are gonna hear my voice.

Ilhoon: He’s such a dapper punk. That’s really all I need to say but I’ll go on. He looks like someone who embodies cool and then he, like the rest of the members, does something wacky and you realize he’s a dork who isn’t afraid to show it. Honestly he reminds me a lot of my nephew so he’ll probabky always have my love and support. I do get impressed with his rapping skills. (Almost as much as I’m impressed with his sartorial prowess.) Being raised Catholic I also have a soft spot for fellow Catholics. (My confirmation name is Elizabeth. If somehow I ever were to meet him I’d probably introduce myself that way because I’m a dork.)

Sungjae: I don’t even know where to begin. So much of my love for each of these dorks is the same thing: their antics are wildly entertaining. Sungjae was really funny in Goblin which I actually watched because of him. He has that humor in his bones. His timing is great. The singing and acting plus his cheesy magic tricks actually make me think of Neil Patrick Harris as I’m typing this. He’s got that level of charisma. If Changsub’s voice is like a hug to me then I think Sungjae’s is like a good handshake. I love handshakes and have very definite opinions about them. Sungjae is just a star and there’s no way around it.

BtoB: As a whole I don’t have much else to add. They’re goofy and great and I could listen to them and watch them forever. I love how much they seem to stick together. The interview Changsub gave where he said they probably wouldn’t all do their service together (even though they wanted to) because it would leave Peniel behind made my heart hurt. Together these men are just such a bright and happy addition to my world.

[raindrenchedstories]

Rescue home 3

It had continued like that for a few days. A daily routine of medicine, nap, eat, rinse, repeat. Neil hadn’t spent much time in his cage while recovering from all this. As Archibald would always have him in hand, or pocket. It should have bothered the man, except, it didn’t.

This situation had given him more than ample opportunity to survey the house. It looked as though his only sure fire escape route would be through the ventilation ducts in the mountain. The main door being one specific area Archibald shoved out of the way with magic.

That was still a jarring thing to be used to. Magic. It tickled like hell, or at least, the few spells Archibald had used on him did. He couldn’t quite tell what they were for. Though, they didn’t effect his daily activities, so it wasn’t worth wondering about.

What time he did spend in his cage was mostly sleeping off this illness. He couldn’t muster the energy to do much more. Though, he did spot Archibald examining some of the ladders he’d put together. Always careful not to break them. Though, he did lean them against the exhibit walls. Probably testing how high they went.

At the moment, they came up short. Intentional. As Neil had made them to link together the night he escaped. If they went too high, he could bet Archibald would get suspicious. The giant wasn’t stupid. He picked up on things quickly.

One of those things being Neils discomfort with being held in a closed hand. It was constrictive, uncomfortable, and hard on the chest. He’d squirmed twice before Archibald began holding him solely in a cupped hand. Or between his fingers in the event of being moved.

That was appreciated to a great extent. Neil could say ‘no’ if he wanted to, most likely. Shifting a bit, he curled into his keepers pocket, yawning. With a small hum, he stared out the top of the pocket. Parts of him screaming that he should hate this. He should want to crawl out of there.

{Later.} He thought to himself. {When I’m over this bug. If I go out like this, I’ll die in a week.} That thought did sting, greatly. With his family, and Richter, Neil had a greater chance of survival. Alone, he couldn’t even sleep properly. Perhaps Richter was right. This was better than nothing.

No. No it wasn’t. He had little choice in what happened in his life. No ability to fight back. No way to see the outdoors on his own terms. He could see one of those sun like eyes glance down at him. A short wave was Archibalds response.

He did nothing to hide his intelligence from the titan. No real reason to. If he acted dumb, he wouldn’t be able to stand himself. Nor would he be able to hide it forever. A good chunk of him wondered if Archibald understood that he was a person.

The titan seamed preoccupied with one of those strange orbs that kept popping in and out of existence. Each time one showed up, the giant would pay attention to it. Then it would vanish. Neil found them perplexing. Archibald, on the other hand, must have found them amusing. Since he often smiled upon their arrival.

Two fingers dipped into the shirt pocket, a signal to Neil to move back a bit. Away from the giants chest. Making it easier to scoop him from the surface. He was lifted into the air and onto a palm. It was a little early for his next feeding. He’d just had his medicine, so this was a little unexpected.

He was eyed up and down, a firm frown pressed into the titans lips. An expression he’d recognized instantly. Hugging his ribs, Neil huffed. “Okay. What’ll it be this time? Hell what were they last time?” He glanced up and down, watching the telltale intake of oxygen.

Same golden light flickering over his form. Neil tried to hold still as the ticklish sensations rippled up and down his body. Soft snickers broke loose every so often as he sprawled out on the soft surface of Archibalds palm.

Finally the spell faded, the man only being left to roll on his side giggling. It couldn’t be helped really. Far from unpleasant thankfully. He could tell the giant was speaking to him. His voice sounding softer. In a strange way, it almost sounded like he were smaller. Talking in just a casual, normal voice.

“Nd. Do- under- me? Do you understand? Neil? Neil? ….Do you understand me?” Neil tensed. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

*

Archibald held Neil closer now, concern weighing heavy in his chest. Did the spell not work? Was Will wrong? Perhaps it was a prank. Perhaps these little things were just funny looking animals. With one last effort, he nudged the man and spoke again. “Neil? Did it work?”

He could hear a shuddering breath, much louder and much deeper than his tiny squeaks. His eyes widened a bit. It worked. It had to have worked. Neil took another deep breath, audible to Archibald. Then, finally! “P-put me down.”

His voice was shaking, clearly uncomfortable. The little guy probably thought he’d be angry. But Archibald couldn't be bothered to give a damn. He was RIGHT. These were not just animals. These tiny beings were people. Like elves, like naga, like himself. Archibald happily complied with the request.

He placed Neil on the table, watching as the little fellow gathered his bearings. “Great! Oh goodness! There’s so much I want to ask you!” He could hardly contain his excitement. Only pausing when he found Neil scooting farther away. Unleashing an angry stream of cursing.

“Too forward?” He grinned sheepishly. Excusing himself from his conversation with Will.

“Way too forward.” Neil confirmed, giving a weak cough.

Delight was tempered now, by a sort of heart ache. “Sorry.” Neil was a person. Like himself. Even though this was an amazing discovery, it also had some bitterness to it. A stinging realization that most of Neils people were being kept...as dumb animals.

“It’s ah...it’s all good? I...How are we talking right now?” The man scooted further back, moving away from Archibald while he lowered his frame.

“...I...used a translation spell.” He smiled a moment, taking in the bewilderment on Neils face before sighing. Now what was he going to tell the small being? That his entire race were being kept as house pets and it was unlikely he’d be released? Great way to open up the communication. Really.

“Well, that’s a funny thing to do. For your pet I mean.” That comment STUNG. Enough venom put behind it that the earth giant felt like he’d need a visit to the ER.

“That said… Why?” He froze, staring into the cautious expression Neil held on him. With a small sigh, Archibald folded his arms on the table, leaning his head on them and staring down at the little fellow.

How was he going to explain this? “W-well… I suspected Richter was more intelligent than he was letting on. And then I saw your ladders, and other crafts. Animals don’t DO that. So, I thought I’d try it out.” He huffed. Staring down at Neil. He didn’t need to know William told him.

“You’re just… too compliant with everything I’ve done so far. Picking you up. The medicine. The vet trip. You don’t kick up a fuss for any of it.” He continued, waving a hand in a vague gesture. Neil folded an arm over one knee, leaning in.

He could see the little being ease up considerably. “So...Okay. Okay you’re not stupid.”

“You thought I was?” He snickered.

“NO! No no! Just… Ugh.” He facepalmed, causing Archibald to chuckle. It took a great deal of self control not to pet the little guy. Eventually he gave in a little. Moving a hand closer and lifting Neils chin to himself.

“It’s okay. You’ve only two giants to base your opinions on. And Will….He doesn’t pick up on things well.” The tiny man tucked in on himself, probably uncomfortable with the contact. With a little huff, Archibald stood, making his way to the cookie cabinet and placing a small treat in front of Neil.

Something familiar, and sweet. Something to take the edge of the next little bit of information he had to give. This bit tore Archibald Greatly. His stomach lurching, he finally settled into an uncomfortable slouch.

*

“So… Now I have to ask. Do you want the good, or the bad news first.” The question hung in the air, Neils heart beat twice as fast now.  He could only guess what the ‘bad news’ was. And dropped his shoulders. Nothing he could think of was comfortable for him.

“Bad news. I guess.” He shivered. Looking the giant in the eye. The intense glare Archibald always seamed to wear was boring into him. Scanning the man for any sign of… Something. Perhaps just eyeing him up for dinner or something. No, wait. This guy ate rocks. Not meat.

“Cookie at the end eh?” The giant smirked. Leaving Neil to simply stare at him, flatly. Waiting for the boot to drop. Waiting for the giant to tell him what he probably already knew.

A thunderous sigh, and the giant spoke again. “Even though you are an intelligent being. I can’t just release you. Even when your over your little cold there.” He was expecting that, but it still hit his stomach like a ball of ice. Neil bit into his cookie with a little shudder.

“Why?” He tried to keep his tone level, calm, and curious. Instead it flared up. Angry, and harsh. Not good, he’d probably anger the giant if he kept that up.

Instead, Archibald looked crestfallen. He could catch the inhale from the giant, but no exhale. Until… “Well, it’s called the responsibility act. Essentially, people who’s civilizations are destroyed fall under the care of the civilizations still standing. Species of low intelligence or high aggression are kept as pets. Higher and calmer as members of society.”

The explanation only infuriated Neil now. “So… I’m low intelligence am I?” He folded his arms, no longer caring the giant my become cross.

“Obviously not. But my people don’t know that. More importantly, we don’t know if you people are able to care for yourselves.” He was clearly floundering, but Neil couldn’t be bothered to care. He shot up on his feet. Forcing back a coughing fit.

“Ex-Fucking-CUSE me!? Can’t take care of ourselves!? We made out JUST fine without you fuckers.” He kicked at the cookie Archibald had given him. Striding over to the giants hands. “Now you listen here y-”

He was cut off, covered in a large palm. Now frantically attempting to escape his new position. Kicking the hand several times over and screaming profanities. Only stilling at Archibalds next comment. “Is that why we found millions of you dead last winter? Or that female Will scooped out of the river a few months ago?”

Neil stilled further. Eyes going wide. “Wait. Wait. The female… Did, did she look… like me? Just… much taller and sturdier?” Dread rose in his heart. And he could tell Archibald caught on.

“...Shit. Did...you know her?”

*

He got no answer. Archibald felt a pang of guilt, stomach doing somersaults. “Oh...Sweet mother earth… I’m sorry.”

He could feel a small amount of shaking under his hand. Neil burst into a coughing fit. Mixed with sobbing. Finally, Archibald tenderly lifted the crying man. Holding him close to his heart. “I’m...I’m so sorry Neil.”

Finally there was a small huff, Neil wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Taking a shuddering breath. “N-no. You wouldn’t know if it was HER. You wouldn’t recognize her.” Clearly, Neil was bargaining. That said, Archibald wouldn’t disillusion him. It was just a part of grief.

“Yeah. Yeah I probably wouldn’t recognize the one you spoke of!” He tried to brighten for the little man, smiling as best he could. “Did you want the good news now?”

“Please.” Neil nodded slowly. Trying to return the smile. Though, if formed into a worried look soon after.

“Well, from now on, you get more of a choice in things.” He moved the tiny man closer in order to get a better read on his emotional state. “Sound good?”

“What do you mean, ‘more of a choice’?” Caution dripped out of every word. Causing Archibald to cringe back a bit.

“Er. Well...I’ll be asking before I pick you up. You can choose what you want to eat and do through the day. You can even wander outside the cage if you like!” He beamed.

“Great. I can choose to do something I most likely WON’T”  He huffed folding his arms. Still adorable. Even if Archibald would spare his dignity and say nothing.

“Well. There’s really no risk to exploring. I used a few spells to keep you safe around big folk like myself.” He snickered. Trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah about that. Did you know magic tickles?” Neil tapped his foot scowling.

“Yes. Do you EVER smile?” Magic worked in a funny way. Each spell a caster used picked up their users personality both in the forefront, and deep in their subconscious. Each persons spell was different even if it was the exact same spell.

Archibald leaned down a bit, smiling. “So… What do these ‘exploration’ spells DO exactly?” Neil was looking himself over like he could visibly see the spells worked into his person. Archibald chuckled, too cute.

“Eh, some keep you from being stepped on, teleporting you out from under foot. Or just making it physically impossible. Others let you survive long falls. There’s a recall spell in there as well. In case some big emergency happens and I need you with me immediately.” Archibald smiled placidly. Trying his best not to blabber about magic all day.

“So, in other words… I can’t get hurt?” Neil blinked, the idea starting to set in.

“Well, for the most part, yes. Still might want to watch out for sharp things though.” The giant shrugged. He watched as Neils expression broke into a maniacal smile. “So you CAN smile!”

The man burst out laughing and vaulted from the table. Archibald paused, watching in interest as the tiny terror ripped across the floor. Hiding behind stone stores. In the most inconvenient place he could find. Archibald just smirked. “Okay?”

After a few minutes. Neil did not emerge. Though Archibald was sitting, watching. Unconcerned. Neil would come out when he needed to. And if he didn’t? There was the recall spell. Archibald had played this game before.

*

It had been two hours before the giant even thought to start looking for him. By then, Neil had already made it behind every appliance he could and woven between the chairs three times. There was no escape from the solid stone building. However, there was the opportunity to keep out of Archibalds grasp.

“Neil… Come now little fellow. At least get a sip of water. Alright?” A shallow dish was left near the box Neil had initially hidden behind. He gave a self satisfied smirk.

“Aww. Worried about me?” He asked out loud. Figuring his voice would be too small to be heard any way. Though he found himself quite surprised when Archibald flinched. Picked up the dish, and brought the water right to him. Kneeling down and gazing under the counter.

“Yes, in fact. You’re still sick.” The titan lay on his stomach and folded his arms, staring down at Neil.

“You shouldn’t have heard that.” He remarked.

“It’s the translation spell. You may notice my voice isn’t as booming either. It adjusts both of us so we can, in fact, hear one another without difficulty.” Archibald gave a shrug.

Neils expression dropped, a small ball of disgust rising in his stomach. “So...I was yelling for no reason?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” Casually, the giant reached under the table and plucked Neil from his place. Bringing him back to the table top. “Now please, it’s dusty down there.”

He left the room not long after. Leaving Neil to stand there, confused. He gave a weak cough before bounding back down to the floor. No over grown bastard was going to tell HIM what to do. That was, until he pitched forward.

His cold was finally taking a tole on him. Vertigo setting in and making everything distorted and wobbly. “Ar- Archie...ARCH.” He fell flat on his face. Coughing heavily. The titan returned without further prompting. Lifting Neil carefully once more.

“Over did it?”

“I think so.”

“Palm or pocket?”

Neil would have cringed, if the world stopped moving in circles for ten seconds. “Palm. Sturdier.” HE was pulled tight to Archibalds stomach and carried around to the next room. The giant sat down, picking up his book and laying down on his sofa.

He set Neil on his stomach, but held a steadying hand behind him. Humming softly. As embarrassing as it was, Neil found the action comforting. He could lay back and imagine he was just on some big bed. He could pretend he was listening to a radio or something.

He could imagine his sister was in the next room. That she didn’t drown in a river. Something brushed his back. Tender, but firm. Glancing over his shoulder, Neil confirmed it was Archibalds thumb. Oddly the motion actually soothed some of the dizzying sensation.

“…So. Do I at least get to go outside? Meet other people.” He curled up a little. Was there any harm in enjoying this? No. Did he want to give in so easily? Also no. He’d wait until the right time to fix Archibalds perception of him.

“Yep. Well, once you’re over this cold. Er… You okay taking medicine from a thimble?” Archibald lifted his book to get a better look at Neil.

“I’d prefer it yeah. Maybe some water to wash it down with?”

“You got it.”