#‘i am not being deliberately contrarian or argumentative. please understand that these are my real and honest emotions’
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i can tell that the devs of the suicide awareness course i had to take for college didn’t actually consult anyone with depression
one of the listed ways of dealing with depressive thoughts was “argue back at them, act like you’re putting them on trial”
and i can tell you from experience that the suicidal part of my brain is very good at winning those arguments
#and then once i’ve lost the argument to myself what the fuck do i do#nobody’s going to let me argue with them about my own will to live#the moment you disagree with the anti-suicide platitudes the usual response is a throwing up of the hands and something to the effect of#‘well i’m not going to argue with you because you’re just being contrarian for the sake of it’#i had this thought so many times i had to write it down#because i know the moment i reach out i will have to quote it verbatim#‘i am not being deliberately contrarian or argumentative. please understand that these are my real and honest emotions’#anyway suicide awareness is a crock of shit and it has never helped me
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