#‘can we tease at the existence of an Olive Garden without given its presence away?’ is a real thing I said | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xerox-candybar · 2 years ago

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I just ran my first writer’s room! 😵😵😵

As part of a class assignment, we broke into small groups and were given 20-30 minutes to polish a short scene based on dialogue we observed (that was part of our homework). We did this three times—twice in small groups of 3-4 people, and finally as a class (group of 9).

…I led the last one, which was supposed to be hardest (because there are more people/more ideas and more conflict). The second round is normally the easiest (because you’re already done the exercise once but you’re still in a small group), but apparently half the class thought my round went the smoothest.

:: dies ::

Anyway, here it is in all its “fuck we wrote this in 20 minutes????” glory

[[setting: a young man and woman, walking down the street]]

First: You are gonna love this place, I go here all the time

Second person: oh…do they have good apps

First person: even better! They have free breadsticks. Unlimited–they never stop!

Second person, tiredly: what about wine?

First Person: of course they have wine! Real authentic stuff… by the jug! [[with heavy accent and gesture]] Italiano!

Second person, under their breath: I think that’s texas roadhouse.

First person, continuing the accent: No–You will feel like-a you’re in-a-Italia! They make-a the pasta them-selves-a!

[[they arrive at their destination, man reactions in horror]

Frist Person: oh no!... oh no… FUCK YOU, P.F. CHANG’S!!!

Second: are you sure you’re in the right place? What’s PF Chang’s?

First person: It’s like Asian food, but in hell.

Second, Tentatively: well shit

First: Fuck you, PFC, seriously no!

[[flips over one of the empty outdoor tables]]

Second Person: I guess we’ll have to find another place.

[[tentatively flips over a table in sympathy]]

First Person: No, sorry, the date is canceled. I can’t be seen with someone who doesn’t understand PF Chang’s.

[[blackout; transition is slideshow of First Person Selfies @ various Olive Gardens / from different states, always ordering with the exact same dish and exact same wine, “ I will Remember you” plays in the background]]

#my writing #bragging into the void #well now I’m too wound up to sleep #this was based on a real conversation #I did run across two kids yelling at PF changs #for renting the spot where their fav Italian place used to be #i don’t think it was *actually* an Olive Garden #but I can’t rule it out either #‘can we tease at the existence of an Olive Garden without given its presence away?’ is a real thing I said #also: ‘if someone could kindly pull up the franchise website’#‘no need to spend time waxing poetically about breadsticks when their PR department had likely already done so’#‘this is the sort of satire that writes itself’#also hearing my classmate yell ‘Roger! already on it!’ at the beginning of my request was just 😍😍😍#‘I’d like to confirm that everyone here is familiar with the concept of an Olive Garden… could someone enlighten our Australian friend?’#‘thank you Andrew for the additional context on PF Changs. I believe you when you say it’s a lovely restaurant’#‘but the scene is from the perspective of this man who is currently pissed at them. resulting in a strong bias.’

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