#‘’what happened adam?… ‘’same thing that always happens. you didnt know me. you fell in love with me. and now you know me.’’

[corvidaeconundrum]

Thinking about htb with bojack audios

[oh-for-fic-sake]

No Boyfriend’s

Masterlist

Henry comes home to find out his three year old princess has a boyfriend, whats a dad to do?

Warnings: swearing, fluff

A/n: so I had so much fun wrighting this fluff piece! Thank you to @jessevans​ for requesting it.

No Boyfriend's

You walked up to the preschool to pick up your daughter from her afternoon session. You had to admit when Henry had first sugested moving out of the city You had been a little skeptical. He had been adamant that he wanted your child to have a childhood much like his. Out of the hustle and bustle moving out into 'the sticks' as many londoners would call it. You'd settled in a quaint picturesque little village near Canterbury in Kent the location was perfect for henry's work with the port of dover thirty minutes away and the center of london with all the airports around an hours drive in the opposite direction it was ideal. And best of all it was out of the way and had all the amenities within the village itself a post office, shop,pub, Doctors surgery and pharmacy the local primary school and pre school was literally a five minute walk from your house and the closest secondary schools were a ten minute bus ride into canterbury itself and when the time came you had six to choose from.

The reason for the move? Your now three year old Daughter the apple of her daddies eye. You remebered the day you'd told your boyfriend you were pregnant, you'd been terrified as much as he said he wanted a family you couldnt help that twinge of doubt. But he was exstatic within moments he had darted out of the room when he returned he was clumsily trying to dial his mothers number with shaking hands tears streaming down his face as he kept asking if you were sure even when his mother picked up, you could here her laughs of joy as he told her. He paced the room leaving you to sit on the bed giggling as he refused to sit down whilst on the phone with his family every time he walked past you he move his hand pressing on Your flat tummy asif trying to feel the child already that or he was trying to imagine you with a bump and that grin? You'd never seen him smile like that before it truly melted your heart seeing him so happy. He was always and attentive boyfriend but once you was pregnant he was..Incredible always by your side when he was at home tending to your every need and he somehow managed not to be over bearing.

It was when you went to the first scan that he had proposed some might say it wasn't the most romantic but for you it was perfect! Leaving with the first photos of your little jellybean and a fiance. Fuck yes! You thought that you couldnt get any happier but then came the gender scan. You knew he didnt mind what they were but you also knew deep deep down you both wanted a little girl to coddle over and buhe wanted a daddies girl someone who he could be their knight in shining  armour. He could bearly keep still beside you holding your hand tight watching the screen trying to get a look at your little 'nugget' as he had called them he couldn't keep quiet either with every swipe of the ultrasound  wand he was changing his mind.

"Girl? Is that? I can see? nope Boy definatly boy"

"Henry babe...dont get to excited that's the umbilical cord...I think?" They were being a little bugger crossing their legs making the sonographer work hard to move them around as you had to move again and again trying to get the little one to move. Finally they spoke.

"And you two are about to have... Little....Princess! You have a baby girl on the way congratulations" you both froze looking at the screen seeing your baby...your daughter. Immediately you both burst into tears.

"A-a girl your sure?" Henry asked in a quiet shaky voice the woman smiled nodding handing you both tissues then moved slower over the child showing you exactly what she saw then printed off some of the photos for you. Once home Henry began refering to her as 'little lady' on account of her 'protecting her modesty' by crossing her legs.

It wasnt long after youd began talking about moving seroiusly, the house was big enough sure but now you knew the baby was a girl it all seemed much more real. Sure you'd both spoke about buying a house together on and off as youd moved in to his place earlier in the relationship but this time it was more feasible the idea of raising your precious little girl in the middle of london didn't bode well for Henry he was also concerned about haveing photos of her taken he was an actor hell your relationship was posted all over social media by your third date! He didn't want that attention on his daughter so you both started seriously looking. It only took another nine weeks to find a place you both fell in love with the Georgian detached house it looked like a mini manor with its decorative columns and tall windows had a huge garden to for kal it was perfect.

At six months you had a small private wedding and it was then that he anounced your marriage and baby Cavill, potsing your favourite wedding photo of you in you and Henry facing each other laughing witb your foreheads together, you were wrapped around each other as close as ou could get considering the bumb that had seemingly grown overnight his hand resting on the cute bump you were laughing because she had just kicked him when he had told you he loved you. Almost like 'dont forget about me!', Kal had photo bombed to his head poking out between your an Henry's legs smiling , a part of your flowy dress caught up on the bears ear head tilted the only one looking at the camera and in the same post he added an ultrasound of your baby girl. You got congratulations from many of yours freinds and family. And Henry's freinds and costars each wondering the same thing 'how the fuck did Henry keep it quiet?'. You wondered that as well, the hole pregnancy was just memory after memory. Henry made sure you did everything you could to document your daughters creation, you did the photo of your bump once a week the last one being you in the hospital in the middle of slow labour holding the gown tight around you a mere half hour before she was born. He had made sure you did the belly casting which had been tidied up and trimmed painted pink and was in the cupboard, then the 4d scans expensive tho they were nothing and you mean nothing compared to seeing her little face for the first time, it was then you realised she looked nothing like you! She was all her father although a slightly more feminine and less sharp and it was also there you were told she had lots od hair...Curls you felt like you'd hit the jackpot. At the birth he had been incredibly supportive until he wasn't, well you disagreed  he wanted to film it and not just your face  he wanted to film it you said no but regretted it after as it would have been solid proof of what happened.  You see one moment he was there then mid contraction....you heard quiet 'nope' a huge thump is what alerted you to his fall.... there was an alarm pressed and nurses came running in each giggleing, it was rare now days to have a fainter.

"Are you FUCKING KIDING ME?! HENRY?! OI! HERNY? CAVILL GET YOUR ASS UP!" You had to stop shouting and started breathing heavy as another contraction pulled at you once over you began barking orders to the nurses.

"KICK HIM...KICK HIM IN THE NUTS! DONT WORRY ABOUT STERILISING SUPERMAN HERE! NEVER AGAIN! HE WONT THEM TRUST ME... HENRY GET UP! ARE YOU LISTENING? STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH! I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN COS HE FUCKING MISSED IT! LOOKING WHEN I TOLD HIM NOT TO!"  The nurses didn't know what to do it took three of them to place im in the chair each trying desperately not to laugh as you had a melt down screaming at him to 'wake the fuck up' You swore you even heard laugher from outside signaling that his family had heard. Yes your wonderfully supportive husband had fainted through stress? Excitment? Anxiety? Low blood sugar? Each time you asked him it had been different answer but and to quote him 'it was definitely not because I looked' which neither you or his brothers will ever believe or let him forget. Luckily he came to as you finally birthed his daughter. A stunning screaming little dark haired bundle. He sobbed when he held her for the first time leaning over her cradeling her so gently leaning over her kissing her as many time he possibly could he was the first one to hold her, hug her kiss her and change her. The photo of his first cuddle hung proudly in the hallway ,you will never forget that moment, the moment when Henry's whole world changed  you could see then just how much he had wanted this. Your daughter was going to be the luckiest little girl in the world.

Paige had grown into a daddies girl, through and through which made today much better. Henry was coming home from filming man from u.n.c.l.e he had been away for months and you had kept his arrival home a secret. Henry was going to make it home in about twenty five minutes. You stopped just before the colourfull gates unable to go in with Kal, you could see the kids lining up in twos underneath the oak tree in the small garden. You smile moving to stroke Kals ears hushing him as he barked loudly vibrating with exciment his tail thumping on the floor as he sat like the good boy he was. At his bark you could hear the kids all squeal with excitment, they loved it when you brought the 'wolf' to the preschool. It was funny hearing Paige whine to them that 'his name is Kal and he's a bear'. He was quite the spoilt pup when he helped you pick up his sister getting hugs and kisses of all the Paige's class mates. Finally the small class was walked out of the garden one of the teachers holding the gate lettjng them leave to their parents. Paige waited in line pointing to you then was let out you ducked down hugging her kissing between her her curly little pigtails.

"Hey baby! Have a good day?" She nodded passing you her small bag and a small potted plant? You looked at her confused but said nothing. She turned and giggled hugging kal smoshing her face in his chest making him stand up she pulled back and squealed as he latherd her with kisses three hours away from her was apparently to long!

"Oh no Kal! Stop it silly bear!" You laughed watching her push weakly at kal who began to settle down now that his 'pup' was with him. You noticed the other parents hovering there kids all pulljng itching to come get Kal cuddles. You smiled to them nodding suddenly they came over all giving him pets and love which he lapped up. You also used it as a sort of lesson the do's and donts of petting dogs, which did some of the other parents a favour. Kal wagged his tail and droped to the floor he couldnt roll over fast enough directing the tiny hands to scratch his belly mouth open tongue lolling about as he panted one happy little bear. After you were sure all the kids got there cuddles you moved calling kal he huffed at you ignoring you instead wanting more love. You smirked down at him sighing as the children giggled. Finally after much coaxing from the other parents you and Paige managed to heave kal away with promises of chicken and snuggles at home. Soon you was on your way home kal padding beside you happy as can be.

Paige took he spot beside you holding his lead with you she was talking about her 'boyfriend' a little boy who she had taken a shine to. It was really sweet he had just moved to the area a little asian boy who paige had bonded with quickly. Really they were just best freinds but he was the first boy she had made freinds with hence she had opted to call him her boyfriend.

"So then Micah played let me play and-and he let me be a knight!" You smiled at her as she beamed excited.

"Really? A knight?" She stopped at the road with you looking both ways then crossed quickly.

"Yeah! Like in daddy's games!! And he gave me some of the bany tomatoes in his lunch...did you he grew them in his own garden!!" You gasped sown at her.

"Really? Oh my, sound like a little dream boat!" she scrunched up her nose lookjng up at you placing a tiny hand to he forehed sheildjngnher eyea from the afternoon sun

"Wha?" You chuckled shaking your head at her.

"Never mind jummy is just being silly" nodded to you her lightl blue eyes sparkling at you then Continued talking about her day mostly about Micah and the games they played.

When you reached home you watched as kal began barking and whining which could only mean one thing. Henry was home already, you unlocked the gate and released the dog with a quiet 'go get daddy' he tore off whining running to the door scratching and pouncing barking the whole time.

"Mummy whats wrong with kal?" You looked down at her knowingly"I'm not sure why don't you go see to him?" She nodded her head biting her lip then licking it, she looked so much like her father doing that. Then she was off running to the house just as Henry opened the door. She froze then screamed for him quickly falling to pieces with grabby hands wantjng her daddy. You watched all choked up as always she was bawling her eyes out by the time he had jumped the steps to the house scooping her up in his huge arms. He clutched her to his chest shushing and rocking her as she cried into him fisting her small hands in his shirt just calling him over and over. He moved his head kissing her trying to calm her, he hated and loved this. He hated her getting so upset when her returned but secretly loved that she missed him. The first few times he left he was worried she wouldnt remember him but juste as youd promised him she had.

The first time he came home you’d taken her to the airport to meet him...He had ended hup having to sit in the back with her as she refused to let him go getting hysterical  each time he tried to pry her off of him. She had gotten better as she got older understanding that daddy had to work and now she was older she could speak to him on the phone and video chat. Each time after the initial crying and snuggles she would stay stuck to his side weather she was sitting on the sofa between his legs when he was playing games or in the makeshift gym with him useing his reps to practice her counting...even if in five mineuts he managed two hundred by her count they were always together. Hell sometimes he even read a new script as a bed time story, which not even you were privvy to!

You laughed walking up to him winding your arms around them both cuddling your daughter between you he leaned in kissing ou on the lips.

"God its good to be home" you smiled smoothing  one of paiges high pigtails she whined calming down kicking her little legs wrapping an arm around his neck and moved suckling her thumb a little. He moved you all into the house patting her bottom lightly somthing he had done since she was born it always soothed her. You moved to the kitchen opening the back door letting air in it was to hot, you placed the small plant on the windosill by the sinck giving it a tiny bit of water as you noticed the siol had dried out. Henry stayed close behind you wanting to be around you, you moved to the slow cooker flicking it on to warm up the already cooked casserole. He came up behinde you movijng to have Paige on one hip still rocking her slightly even tho she had calmed down.

"Ohh look baby chicken casserole...Did you help mummy with that today before school? " She giggled peering over the pot.

"Yes daddy! I putted in the veggies! And tatoes! Daddy!" He smiled at her gasping.

"You did the veggies and the potatoes?! Such a clever girl making daddies favourite dinner" she giggled at the praise nodding.

"And-and I tasted it to!" he gasped at her as she got all excited

"And what do you think?" She grinned and 'whispered'

"Needed salt" you spun round and gasped at her offended.

"You little!" You chased her and Henry around the kitchen island wriggling your fingers as if to tickle her.

"AHH HAHAHa NOOO! DADDY RUN RUN!" you giggled as he scarperd out of the kitchen hovering by the door and moved all you saw was the tops of their heads peering into the kitchen. You rolled your eyes as they made a 'plan of attack' you turned back to the pit placeing the lid back on.

Suddeny Henry had you, arms pinning yours to the sides as Paige 'tickled' you making you laugh.

"Oh my god! Stop I give I give!" Finally Paige relented koala climbing Henry who quickly scooped her up to his hip.You moved in kissing her cheek then henry as he wrapped his free arm around you nuzzling in to your neck giving a quick nip before licking at your skin.You giggled trying to escape yet all he did was grab you around your waist and hoist you up.

"HAHA! I have you both now!" You laughed and Paige squealed as he spun around holding you both before making his way to the living room  you wriggled free pretendingnto run from him making paige call out to you for help as he threw her up in the air holding her with 'slam dunking' paige to the sofa making her laugh and  scream as he followed lifting her littl tshirt blowing rasberries on her tummy makeing her squeal and laugh louder. You smiled at the two, this is what you missed when he was away, the laughter of a full house. You sat down in Henry's armchair as he and Paige 'wrestled' soon attracting kals attention who like the loyal steed he was came to paiges aid pouncing henry making him groan and roll off her givingnher and kal the chance to escape to the garden, you both let them the garden was safe and having  kal around was like a live in nanny he wont let anything happen to her.

Henry rolled over on the sofa lounging back panting crooking a finger at you. You crept over moving to sit in his lap, he tugged you down to him pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. He moved sitting up more cupping your ass smirking.

"Soo? Did you think about what I mentioned?" You grinned and pretended to think for a second making him groan leaning in leaving kisses on your neck and jaw.

"I did" you finally replied, you felt him hold his breath as his nose ghosted your ear.

"I stopped them that night~ all back to normal now" he pulled back staring at you

"Really? You mean it?" You nodded them brought you forward for a deep kiss. He had mentioned trying for another child when he came back, youd always intended to give Paige a sibling but not when she aas still a baby baby. Now that Paige was older and going to be in school next year you had felt ready to try again and had be over the moon whne henry had suggested it in a video chat instantly stopping your contraception so eveything would be back to normal and you could start trying asap asfterall you knly had him home for a few months then he was off to play superman again. He smiled lunging forward pinning you below him devouring your mouth you moaned as things got heated.

You felt them. Eyes. Blue eyes to be exact. You both sighed and turned to Paige who was staring unblinking at the two of you from the door. You moved pushing him up.

"Mummy? Wheres my plant I wana show daddy what I grew!" He looked at you and sighed a little, you could tell he was a bit dissapointed but you waved him off as he stood pulling you up with him you moved in whispering.

"Tonight love" he grinned and jumped up a bounce in his step holding his hand out to paige who took it.

"Its on the windowsill in the kitchen" Henry nodded left the room letting you relax for a while already knowing you were picking up your kindle to read. Once in the kitchen he lifted Paige placing her on the counter and pulled over the small plant.

"So whats this then?" She smiled touchingnthe leaves softly

"Its a strawberry plant daddy...I did it from a tiny seed!" He smiled at her looking to the plant it wasnt half bad small but alive which is more then he could say for his when he tried.

"Oh you did this? At school?" She nodded at him and moved the leaves about.

"Yes and it will get bigger and grow pretty flowers...And the flowers will grow a strawberry! Miss bou said we cant pick em till they are a bright red like in the shops... and we can take pictures in to show em off!" He nodded to her

"So your gardening at school now? Is it fun?" She giggled putting the plant down

"Yeah we got lots in our vegetable patch...we got some lettuce and peppers and spinach and and tomatoes! But they not ready yet...Micahs is! Micah grows the at home... can we grow some veggies daddy?" He smiled at her

"We certainly can...Besides we will need to plant your strawberries in the garden...I will make your ownn little growing patch amd we can grow anything you want how does that sound?" She squealed and bounced on her bottom making him smile.

"Lets make a list and we can go get them tomorrow" she nodded in agreement. You walked in the kitchen as henry and Paige leaned over the counter making a list

"Whats going on here then?" Paige quickly riped the paper from under Henry's nose.

"List mummy! Of palnts for my veggie patch! Daddy wants to help!" You smiled peaking over the paper seeing two halves one side had strange 'paige writing' the other a list Henry had written. Compost, tools, string, pots then lots of different fruit and veg. You chuckled shaking your head.

"You missed watering can...maybe we could get a waterbutt? And one of thows plastice green houses to start the seedling off?" He smiled nodding addjng them to the list as you went and checked dinner. You nodded then turned to the other two."Right you tow dinners done wash up then go wait at the table...Had it in the slow cooker all day just needed to be heated up" he leaned over kissing you once again thanking you then helped Paige was her hands leaving to the dining room with Paige.

You did this everytime he came home early dinner meant an early bedtime for Paige and then You could give Henry a proper homecoming. You dished up the dinner home made chicken casserole you moved quickly with the three bowles placing them on the table then sat down ready to eat as Henry began talking about work. you smiled letting him gush about his work, you loved seeing him like this he blushed slightly.

"Any way enough about that, how have my two girls been?" You watched at Paige grinned across the table to him.

"I made a new friend daddy!" You swallowed your mouthfull choosing to keep quiet you knew where this was going you grinned into you bowl. He smiled at her leaning over to wipe her mouth quickly making her giggle at him as he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh really? And whats her name?"

"Haha nooo! Daddy its not a girl...I've got a boyfriend!" Henry choked onhis mouthfull paiges face dropped and she looked to you worriedly you smiled reassuringly at her. Henry hit his chest coughing finally getting himslef under control, he looked at you shocked and terrified you nodded at him chuckling.

"A-a boyfriend? Poppet dont you think your a bit err young for that?" She frowned at him shaking her head.

"No daddy! He is really nice! He lets me be a knight! And today we had lunch together and he fed-ed me his tomatoes."

"Gave paige he gave you his tomatoes" you corrected as Henry gaped at her unsure what to make of it.

"So he is just a friend?....he better be"  he grumbled the last part under his breath.

"He is a friend...My boyfriend I love him daddy... he gives me hugs! And Kal likes him to! He's my hero" You giggled as Henry was panicked and at a loss.

"Really....love I thought daddy was your hero?" Creased up he actually looked a bit hurt from her words she gave him a sympathetic look.

"Yes daddy you are...But Micah is to! He is soo pretty and fun and he don't make me be the princess all the time...And he shares his colours"

"Okay so you love this boy Micah?" She nodded pushing her food around in her bowl.

"What do you love about him?"

"His hair! Its black and shiney! And and he is cute!"

"Aha but you do know he isnt your boy friend right? Your not aloud boyfriends yet....No boyfriends untill your older." He said she looked at him wide eyed then you her bottom lip quivering.

"What? But but I love him!" Henry crossed his arms at her she mimicked him scowling

"No absolutly not baby" .she whined and smaked the table in a huff

"NOOO! MY BOYFRIEND!" He raised a brow at her as she had a paddy.

"No boyfreinds untill your 21 and thats final ittle lady"

"No! Micah is mine! My boyfriend! A-and you cant stop us from playing! So there!" Henry rose a brow trying to ignor your quiet chuckles as Paige made huffed and stuck her nose in the air being a right little madame. You watched givjng Henry the stink eye as a grin crawled across his face. Here we go.

"Its illegal...he could get in trouble, daddy could get in trouble" Henry tilted his head at her as she gasped trying to read him, you could see her mind trying to work him out. Is he lying? Or not? but her father was an actor...And a damn good one he had a poker face like no other. You knew where this was going, you knew you should stop it but his was gold! You had a feeling that henry was not gojng to ckme out on top.as she opend her mouth.

"W-well we wont tell..Keep it a secret!" She said holding a finger to her lips Henry tutted shaking his head.

"Oh poppet...Do you know where daddy has been these past months?" You squinted at him trying to see exactly where this was going knowing you were going to have to pick up the pieces. She nodded then shook her head no. He smiled devilishly at her. Oh shit here he goes.

"Daddy has been to spy school" you gasped at him oh hell no he wouldnt...yes he fucking would you could see the twinkle in his deep blues.

"Spy school?" She spoke in a small voice then turned to you looking fro one to the other he nodded at he

"Y-your a spy?" He nodded and she gave him a sa look.

"Yes, and I made friends with lots of spies" she twitched slightly shaking her head.

"And they told me that the spy rules says that a spy's little girl isn't allowed a boyfriend until they are twenty one....If they did find out daddy could get in trouble...You dont want daddy to be in trouble do you?" She shook her head bottom lip trembling as she was torn. She looked like she would explode as she tried weighting up her 'options'.

 Suddenly Henry dropped his smug look and looked more like a deer in the headlights as Paige began wailing moving her arms making grabby hands to you. You sighed and hoisted her into your arms rocking her trying so hard not to laugh.

"W-why is da-daddy mean?....I ju-just want to pl-play with my boyfreind!" You patted her back rocking her.

"No-now D-daddy will get i-in trouble! But I-I just w-wana plaayy!" She cried harder hicupping between her words.

"Oh sweety come here shh shh" you gave Henry a look as he leaned back in his chair crossing his arms at you shaking his head. Stubborn and protective of his little lady.

"Nope..Not having it" you hissed at him knowing you had to spell this one out for the big idiot.

"Daddy didn't mean it,he wont get in trouble at all baby girl"

"Yes I did"

"HENRY!" he shut up at your hiss

"Bu-but d-daddy said-"

"Hey look at me...Dont listen to daddy he is an idiot and just jealous of Micah" she sniffled an nodded

"Y-yeah cos he-he's got pretty Shiney hair... D-daddies just got stupid curls!" You giggled as Henry looked aghast at her not believing wht ha was hearing

"Exactly daddy is just being a grump! you can still play with Micah...He is your best friend isn't he?" She nodded sniffling

"and you love his like a friend right?" Henry now realised his mistake blinked at you as you rolled your eyes shaking your head at him like 'what the fuck? Really? Shes three' .oh. She pulled away wipinng her eyes looking to henry's matching blues.

"Really daddy? C-can I still play w-with micah?"

"Yes of course...I'm sorry baby...you and mummy was right I just got jealous...daddy is used to being your only hero." Smooth cavill real smooth. She bought it tho nodding he tilted his head down.

"Yo-you wont be in tr-trouble" he shook his head at her

"A-and Micah wo-wont be in t-trouble?" Again he shook his head and reached for her.

"No baby daddy was just being silly...Come here Can you forgive me poppet?" She thlught about it then nodded lunging for him cuddling him he mouthed a sorry to you but you just rolled your eyes at him. Idiot.

It was later that night when Henry returned to your bedroom after reading Paige to sleep,. You both flitted about one another getting ready for bed ou was brushing your teeth when he brought it up.

"So who is this micah then?" You rolled your eyes still hearing a little hostility there...To a fucking three year old. You spat out the toothpaste and looked to henry leaning on the door.

"A little boy...He moved to the village just after you left...Paige was instantly taken with him, he is asian so was avoided by the other kids...you know what she's like with hair and shes never seen straight pitch black hair before... she gushed about him for a few days then they became best freinds....And she call's him her boyfriend because he is the first male friend shes made! God henry really shes three! There none of that shit yet...not for a good few years!" You turned away from your sheepish husband.

"So? nothing i need to know? theres nothing going on? whats his parents like?" You blinked at him..

"Seriously? Like are you being serious now?  Ok well fuck it his dad has taken over the doctors surgery and is actually your and my doctor now that dr marsh has retired! His mother is a stay at home wife, they have a cat called fuji; cos he is fat and a gold fish called mino because its a mino...he is a sweet polite boy ...his favourite colour is green he grows fruit and veg in his garden and you know what Henry he fucking loves batman! and whne he batman versus superman comes out he is gonna want batman to kick your ass! there you happy Jesus fucking christ almighty!" Henry smirked moving towards you slowly stalking towards you really.

"Fuck off" he just chuckled quickly wrappjng himself around you.

"God your so sexy when our mad come here~" you blinked at him

"Oh hell no You did not get me riled up to have rough sex.....Henry I!....you little shit!" He laughed knowing you’d caught onto him making you more irritated and dragged you to the bed kissing at your neck along the way.

"Come on love time for number two...A boy to keep and eye on Paige for me when I'm��away!" You chuckled relenting as he laid you down on your bed.

[deansawthetvglow]

eternal skyline of a spotless mind- or the one where the first 5 or so minutes of 15x20 are the only minutes i accept. 

in which i ramble a whole ficlet on accident and y’all i need the full fic. yes there’s a tinnnny bit of smut. also spn 15x20 spoilers slightly 

now i want the fic where dean applies to be a mechanic, gets the job, does real good. he and miracle live in the bunker, sam and eileen moved out a year ago now to follow a job opportunity for eileen. it’s a big place to be alone in. he keeps watching over and over all of the movies he has in a file entitled ‘cas’ favourites’ he sips whiskey, a responsible amount, and pets miracles head while his head is on his lap. sometimes he dives into the lore, he’s glad sam isnt here to give him shit about finally doing his research, but he’s trying to find a way to cas. to save him. and one day he tries to mix up a spell thatll open a portal into the dark nothing and his ingredients sputter and spark and he thinks it’s gonna work this is it, and it just doesnt. the smoke clears, the sparks stop popping, and there’s nothing. and so that night he goes into the dungeon draped in one of cas’ old trenchcoats and he sits in that spot he had to sit years ago and he cries, and miracle sits beside him and he cries because he’s trying he’s trying to live for love he’s trying to do right by cas and he just....he cant...cas died thinking dean didnt...didnt love him. and god, does dean love him. so he cries and he whispers iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou and he falls asleep on the concrete, uses miracle as a pillow but dean doesnt think he minds. and he wakes up in the morning, eyes puffy, and he drags himself to work, and he’s back to square one. and this continues for a while, dean doesnt really remember when he tried the spell, but it’s been a while. a month, maybe more. and he goes into work, and there’s a new car for him to work on. it’s old, a classic, but dean kinda thinks she’s more junk than classic, sue him, and he starts working on it, and he opens the trunk to pop a particularly stubborn dent out of it, the client’s not paying for that but he just can’t let the car be driven around all beat up, and there, right in the trunk, is a trenchcoat. bundled up, and tan and big and dean grabs it, he shouldnt but he does and his heart is beating so fast as he brings it to his nose and smells it and it’s cas it has to be and so he rushes to the front office, demands to know who the client is, when are they coming by and as he’s going completely wild wanting to know everything it suddenly goes calm. because there, in a worn flannel and blue jeans, is cas. castiel. and dean just looks for a moment, to convince himself its real, and then hes rushing to a wide eyed cas and saying ‘you stupid son of a bitch’ and crashing his lips into those ones which he has wanted for and then cas isnt really kissing back so dean stops because he...he cant take anything more from cas, he needs to give and he...he stops himself because what if...what if this wasn’t what cas wanted, so he pulls back, lets his hands linger on the soft of the flannel, and then cas is speaking, head quirked, ‘do i...do i know you?’ and fuck. his heart drops right out of his ass. his knees buckles and hes on his way down when castiel catches him, pulls him up, hand on his shoulder, and he holds on to him. and dean lets out a ‘you don’t remember?’ and castiel says, ‘no. i...i dont i’m so sorry.’ and dean thinks all hope is lost until cas asks, ‘i know this is too much to ask but it...appears i know you, and i kind of just, woke up one day in a field and i...i dont really have anywhere to go..and um’ and hes rambling but he’s determined to get his little angel back, all the way back, so he says, ‘you wanna come home with me, angel?’ and cas grins and dean wants to see that grin everyday of his life. so he finishes cas’ car, lets him trail behind as they drive to the bunker. he doesn’t explain it really, just opens the door and says ‘well, heres the place’ and cas walks in and looks at everything with such wonder. and he brushes his fingers across the gold embossing of an angel on one of the books there and dean just watches, listens to cas breathing, aches to touch.

he sets cas up in his old room, cas quirks a head when he sees all the suits and ties in the closet, says something like ‘now i understand why i woke up looking like a tax accountant’ and hes being good old cas, sticking so close to dean and he’s sitting beside him to watch a movie and miracle is sprawled across their legs and cas says, ‘i could get used to this’ and dean says, ‘yeah cas, me too.’ so they sit and they watch and they repeat that day in day out and the bunker isnt so lonely anymore, and he and cas do everything together, and dean researches spells to get cas’ memory back. he thinks it has to do with the fact that his grace got ripped out in the process, theres a small nick on his adams apple that he recognizes as the place it must have left, but he coughs himself out of thinking about that neck and those lips and that hair and those thighs and- he hasnt kissed cas since the first day, he longs to. he sees the way this cas looks at him and he wonders. he wonders if maybe...maybe this castiel can learn to love him again. and it’s going on a year now. cas works down at the local flower shop and has an apiary on the hill above the bunker, deans still in his same routine of life, and they’re not...they’re in the same place they were before cas confessed. just, in this middle ground, this unspoken something, so as he lies beneath a car he decides, the happiness isnt in the having its in just being in just saying it, so he goes home that night, picks up flowers from a competing shop bc he doesnt wanna spoil the surprise, and sets up the table. cas’ name is still carved there, cas had laughed when he first saw it because “what kind of long name is that,” and dean was bursting with fond. and anyways he lays down a table cloth and lights a candle and waits. shaking in his skin just waiting for cas to get home, and then cas is walking in saying ‘hello, dean’ and running down the stairs, groceries in paper bags overflowing in his arms, and his hair is disheveled and dean helps grab a bag and puts it in the kitchen and waits for cas to follow and see...the set up. and cas asks, what’s this about? and dean looks at cas and takes a deep breath and says, ‘someone once told me there’s happiness in just....fuck...in just saying it so here goes. and its okay if you..if you dont but...’ and cas is getting closer, his head quirked and deans heart is beating out of his chest and he says ‘i love you.’ and then cas is rumbling, ‘dean, look at me’ and so he does, looks up into wide blue eyes and cas is smiling. smiling so big and beautiful and dean wants to hear it he needs to hear it he needs- ‘i love you too, dean winchester’ and then theyre kissing again, kissing and holding and deans a little embarrassed but hes crying and then theyre skipping dinner entirely and cas has his hand on deans bare shoulder and hes shivering into the touch its so overwhelming and he fucks himself down onto cas’ cock and cas digs his fingernails into deans thighs and looks up at him blue and beautiful and overwhelming and deans pretty sure he blacks out when he comes except, he doesnt, because his eyes are open and the lights in the room are all busted and cas is lying there under him looking up, dean thinks so at least, he can’t really see him and so he laughs and he laughs and he’s not really registering what happened, a beautifully timed power outage like something divine saying this is how you met and he’s here still and you finally have him and so he climbs off of cas and grabs something to wash them up and a candle or two from the table and when he comes back, and wipes the damp cloth gingerly across cas’ body he notices cas tense and he sees in the candlelight cas is looking very serious and he stops being sweet just asks ‘cas? whats wrong’ and cas says, ‘dean? dean. dean winchester... dean...righteous soul the one i fell for and will always fall for the one i love the one i have always...’ and dean dives back on top of cas and kisses him senseless because now cas remembers everything before and he remembers everything after and everything now and its perfect

and honestly they still arent really sure what happened except that maybe the spell needed angel mojo so it snagged it from cas or maybe the empty curled itself around cas mind and all it needed was the Loud of too many emotions to overflood it but all that matters is that they are here together.

and then one day, at the dinner table, cas looks at dean and he says ‘dean, will you....’ and he shuffles inside his pocket and presses a box into deans hand and its- ‘will you marry me?’ and dean is practically leaping over the table to kiss cas and saying “yes yes yes of course of course i wanna grow old with you i wanna be with you always in life and death in everything always together”

and cas is crying because he could have what he wanted, he has the one thing he wants most and dean wants him most too.

and then dean is pulling back and cas is looking pensive and he says, ‘there is one thing, dean.’ and dean looks worried so he places his hand on his knee and he says, ‘i want to be human, all the way human.’ and dean looks like he wants to protest or cry and hes not sure which it is but then dean is crying and saying ‘ill help’ and then the next day theyre out with the bees, because cas thinks his grace will do them good, and dean holds cas’ hand in his tightly and follows that little nick on his throat and opens it ever so slightly with the angel blade and tries not to think about how hes hurting the person he loves and he loves and he loves and then the grace is flowing away and dean captures it in a bottle, hands it to cas, who later pats it down in the ground so they can grow a new tree, and dean gives cas two little stitches on his throat and kisses all around them and washes cas hair for him in the shower and then

when the day comes, they go together, they get to live with one another and watch the sunsets on their front porch with miracle and jack and sam and eileen all looking out over an eternal skyline.

[anythingandeverything1d]

Eye Contact

Harry’s POV:

“Hey!” The crowd goes crazy, everyone is screaming and the adrenaline is pumping through his veins. He finally walks out and people scream even louder, probably because of the Gucci suit. It’s a classic really, white and sparkly, the pants held up by suspenders. What a look, a statement, the only thing acceptable for a Harry Styles concert. “Golden, Golden, Golden”  Harry grabbed the mic stand and began singing, his eyes closing briefly while feeling the song. “As I open my eyes, hold it, focus, hoping” he opens his eyes and looks into the crowd with a smile. It always amazed him how many people support him and his music, how much they lifted him up, even on a bad day. He just wished he could stop and look at every single one of them while thanking them for everything they've done the past 10 years. “I know you were too bright for me, I’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky, browns my skin just right.” He scanned the front row, looking at all the faces, mainly of girls of course, but there are always some outlying men screaming along with them and making Harry proud. He keep looking around while finishing up Golden, and his eyes caught on a girl. She’s pretty, no she's gorgeous, like the kind of gorgeous that makes you want to stop what you're doing and give her the entire world to make her happy. She finally looks up, her eyes locking on his for a brief moment. Harry smile and she looked down at her feet. Girls never look away. They never go back on a chance to have my attention. 

He finished the song and thanked everyone for coming, his eyes still scanning the row for the girl. She was sitting somewhere on the left side.....second or third row.....ah there she was. He felt like he was able to breathe again when he was looking into her eyes, something that never happened with a girl before. The next song was watermelon sugar, a fan favorite and one of Harry’s favorites as well, however all he could do was watch the girl “Tastes like strawberries, on a summer evening” where was she again, ah yep there. Something about her was exactly what he wanted. She was dancing along with her friends, moving to the music and having a good time. Her smile was one that could weaken him in the knees, and leave him begging for more. “And it sounds just like a song. I want more berries and that summer feeling, its so wonderful and warm.” Finally her eyes connect with Harry’s and she smiles, leaving Harry gripping the mic stand and nearly forgetting the chorus. “Watermelon sugar high, watermelon sugar high, watermelon sugar high, watermelon sugar high, watermelon sugar.”  Harry finished up the song and interacted more with the band and the audience, his eyes always straying to the left side looking for the girl, where she always remained...until the last song

Harry had finished singing Fine Line, he was impressed with himself. He had made it two whole songs without looking over at the girl. He was trying to keep himself focused on finishing strong and interacting with other fans. When the song ended, he gave in, his eyes wandering left and looking for her. Left side, second row, behind the girl with the blue hair.... but she was gone. The band ran off stage and Harry waved walking off after them. His heart was pounding, he felt out of focus. “You okay bro?” Mitch asked concerned.

“The girl-”

“The one you've been flirting with all night?”

“Yeah-wait. I have not been flirting.”

“Harry you've literally looked at her the entire time.”

“Well yeah but-”

“You guys ready for the encore?” Adam came running in.

“Yeah.” Mitch clapped you on the back as you were walking toward the stage. “Hate to tell ya but that's called flirting Styles.”

Harry just blushed and looked away. It was not flirting...it was just taking an interest in fans... He wandered back out on stage as Sign of the Times began. His eyes as they had the entire time, wandered to the girl. She had returned to her seat with a smile, singing along with him to the words. He winked and she grinned, looking down while her cheeks flooded with red. Harry wasnt going to let anyone catch him flirting though, while finishing the encore he looked away. His eyes not returning to that left side, not looking for her or anything. “Thank you all so much for coming. You are incredible and I love you all so much.” He finished the concert, running off stage and stripping down to change clothes. He hurriedly washed his face, thanked the band, and everyone backstage and then hurried back on stage. He was hoping to find the girl but the seats were empty. He ran back off and ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. 

“Mitch. I need your help.”

“Whats up?”

“I need you to help me find that girl, the one in the second row you said I was flirting with.”

“Harry haven't they cleared the stadium already?”

“Yeah but - but I need to find her. There was something. When you know you know right? Well, I know. I know I need to meet her.”

“Harry-” “No Mitch, you know what nevermind. I don't need help. I’ll do it myself.” “Whoa, Harry calm down brother.” Adam had walked in and was witnessing the scene. Harry took a deep breath and took a step towards the door. “You are just distracting me. You want her for yourselves is that it? You just don't want me with her because you want her?”

“What the-” Adam began.

“Fuck off Adam.” Harry walked past, bumping his shoulder into Adam’s. I’ll just find her myself. Harry wandered backstage until he found the exit. He walked out the side of the building and around to the front where he found himself face to face with all of his hands. They all screamed and ran forward and Harry stepped back, scanning the crowd for her, but there was no hope. He ran backstage and pounded on the door. The fans were approaching and Harry couldn't even get in to warn security. He banged on the door again and it opened. He ran inside, and straight into the girl.

Your POV:

You had been making eye contact with Harry throughout the whole concert. It had given you butterflies, the feeling that there was something more. When security came and grabbed you, you were instantly nervous, asking a million questions about what was going on, if you were in trouble, could you call your mom... Instead he had not answered anything and just left you in an empty dressing room. You were not about to stay there though and wait for security to come back and bust you for whatever you had done. You ran out the door and backstage. You had made it to what you thought was the exit, but someone was pounding on the other side to get in...you  opened the door and someone immediately slammed into you. You were knocked to the ground, your head hitting the wall behind you. “Ow” you mumbled holding your head. The person looked up and your heart stopped. There stood the tall, lean, and sweaty body of Harry Styles. He looked at you, his eyes staring at yours. His eyes were a green color, but a bold green, the kind of green you could get lost in.. “uh..” you mumbled trying to think of what to say.

“It's you..”

“What?”

“Its you. The girl from my concert. The girl in the second row” you looked at him confused but he just smiled. Harry snapped back into it, the fact you were on the ground finally clicked and he grabbed your hand pulling you to your feet. “I’m so sorry..I didnt expect someone to be there, especially not you.” he was rambling and you smiled. It was cute. “Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself..I’m sorry for hitting you with the door. Hows your head?”

“I think I’ll live...”

“Well that's a relief. He sat on the floor next to you and grinned. “I’m Harry.” He held out his hand and you grabbed it shaking it slowly.

“(y/n).”

“(y/n)....thats a beautiful name. Its a pleasure to meet you.”

“Back at you.” Harry grinned at you, his dimples perking up in the corner of his mouth. 

“So am I in trouble or?” “What?”

“Security grabbed me and brought me back here...Am I in trouble?”

“Trouble?” he laughed and you smiled, it was a cute laugh. “What did you do?”

“Oh you mean aside from stealing a few shirts, bringing a gun, and planning your assassination all while making eye contact with you during the show?”

“Wow, okay (y/n) clearly security needed to grab you. Cant have any of that here, except the eye contact, I quite enjoyed that tonight..” You smiled as he teased you. “No actually security was my doing...I was really hoping for a chance to get to know you a little.”

“Oh.”

Harrys face fell.. “Uh if that's okay, if not I can make sure you get back to your friends or wherever youre staying?”

You smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”

Relief flooded his face and he smiled. “Okay good.” You bit your lip, this was turning out well for someone who originally didn't want to go to the concert. Harry leaned in, you followed suit, his lips lightly touching yours. Butterflies flew through your body and you leaned back pulling your lips from his. Wait until your boyfriend found out you kissed Harry Styles, he was going to be impressed and pissed all at the same time.

---

I got this request and honestly I’m not sure how I feel about it. Might change, might delete we shall see

[brelione]

The Surfer And The Siren

Chapter Two:The Blondes,The Dog and The Girl in the Woods.

Chapter One

@kelsiejayy​ designed this mood board :) 

“Why is it always the blondes?”Richard asked.You shrugged,folding the snack bag closed. “They remind me of him.”You answered.Richard just nodded,pulling the strings of the bag tight. “Will you tell him stories about me when im gone?”Richard asked.You pouted. “You’ve still got a few more years,Rich.”You mumbled.He just chuckled. “Lets get going,weve got thirteen hours to go.”he locked the door as you walked out.You two got into his older car,driving down the bumpy roads to his house.You ran up the small grassy hill and up to the front porch,kneeling to pet Blue on his stomach.You then ran inside,jumping onto the couch and holding your favorite pillow to your chest.Richard let the dog in,going into the kitchen to show you that he had already set out your favorite cookies.ayou ate seven before you ran into the backyard to see how much taller the sunflowers had grown since the last time you had been over to the house.You rolled in the grass,lifting yourself into a tree and giggling loudly.

It felt like it had been a long time since you had even touched a tree.Probably because it had been.Richard placed his phone on the outdoor table,allowing your favorite songs to play.There was some Queen,some Disney,some instrumental and some early 2000’s music.You got down from the tree,telling him you were going to take Blue for a walk.Richard nodded,standing up.He wasnt as fast or energetic as he had been 60 years ago.He couldnt give you piggy back rides anymore or play soccer in the middle of the woods.It didnt really matter though.He was still good old Richard with his shitty jokes and his big grey hound.You grabbed Blue’s leash,clipping it to his collar.RIchard shouted to you to let you know that you could go without him.You ran down the street,racing the large dog all the way to figure eight.You ended up on the beach behind the kook mansions.You had watched as they had been built all those years ago,wondering what kind of rich straight white dudes were going to move in there.

You were unaware of the camera watching you from a tall tree,oblivious to the notification that was sent to Rafe Cameron’s phone.Blue leaned against you,laying down at your feet.You sat indian style,allowing the dog to rest in your lap. “Are you a handsome baby?”You grinned,tapping the dogs nose.He sneezed,moving upwards to look your chin.Rafe came up behind you,his eyes focusing on your hair.He hadnt been prepared or even thought about what he was going to say.He just didnt want to miss you. “Hello?”You called out,feeling someone looking at you.He inhaled sharply and his fists clenched. “Sorry,sorry-I didnt mean to scare you.”He spoke awkwardly.Blue sat up,staring him down and growling.You looked over your shoulder,grip tightening on Blue’s leash.That wasnt Ward.Ward was a normal person,he aged.You had watched him age. “Ward?”You asked,not calling off Blue.Rafe shook his head,not being able to form words.You dragged your fingers along the back of Blue’s neck to calm him.The dog leaned into your touch,slumping against you. 

“Um...Im Rafe-Rafe Cameron.My dad’s name is Ward,though.”He answered.You nodded,standing up and brushing the sand off of your clothing.He looked just like Ward when he was in his early twenties.Ward had always been a bit of the sketchy type but never too bad.He wore his long sleeve shirts rolled up to his elbows,socks and sandals and always had some sort of fancy watch clinging to his wrist.You had been to the Cameron’s dock countless times just to check if Ward Cameron was still alive and walking.You wrapped Blue’s leash around your wrist so he wouldnt go too far. “I like your hair.”He spoke,pointing to the blue curly mess.Your eyebrows fell over your eyes,Blue sensed the tension and licked your fingertips.He glanced up at the tree where the camera was hidden before looking back up at you. “Okay.”You mumbled,not wanting to continue the conversation.He didnt have good intentions.It felt like you were talking to Ward,In fact,you could remember Ward telling you the same thing.Rafe sucked in a big breath,looking down at Blue and trying to ease his mind.

 “Is this your dog?”He asked,gesturing towards the greyhound.You gulped,glancing around the beach for other people. “Friend’s dog.”You answered,your voice hitting him like a wave.He stumbled a bit,deciding to just sit down.His legs couldnt hold his weight and it seemed like his head was full of wet cotton.He felt exhausted and not just from running down the road.He nodded,hands in his lap. “I will see you around,Rafe Cameron.”You spoke softly,allowing the power to sink into the air.It was probably enough to enchant the boys inside houses across the whole neighborhood and more than enough to cause Rafe to fall forward with his eyes closed.You grinned,biting down on your lip and holding back a chuckle.Men were just too easy.You jogged back up the sand and to the street,seeing a boy asleep on his lawn.It only made your smile widen as you ran back to the cut,Blue panting as he sprinted with you.When you got to the cut you were a sweating and panting mess,laughing at the feeling of pain in your kneecaps.

You kept running,savoring the sore feeling at your ankles and heels as your feet smacked the cement.When you got back to Richard’s Blue had dragged himself up the stairs tiredly to drink some water.You went inside the house,leaving the door open for Blue and laying down on the couch.Your cheeks were flushed,your skin damp from sweat. “Did you have a good run?”Richard asked.You nodded,sitting up. “I didnt know that Ward Cameron had a son.”You frowned,pushing the blue hair from your face.Richard gulped,sitting down in his reclining chair. “You saw Ward Cameron?”He asked nervously.You shook your head. “Just his son.Strange looking boy...kind of like Ward with moist hair.I didnt tell him my name,just Blue’s.He’s asleep on the beach as of right now.”You explained.He nodded,opening a bag of skittles.You giggled. “God,do you remember back in 82’ when those things first got to the store?”You asked.He nodded. “How could I forget?I was trying to get you a bag but the buggers were sold out.The rich boys were mixing them with vodka and throwing up on the streets.”He let out a wheeze like laugh.You grinned at the memory,holding your pillow to your stomach.

 “The boy...JJ.Do you know him well?”You asked.Richard raised his eyebrows,shaking his head as he poured skittles into his palm.You sighed,leaning back. “He looks like him...I saw them while I was out today.JJ and Pope,I mean.They were with another boy and a girl.The other one….I forget what he’s called.He looks like an Adam,though.He’s very terrible at surfing,I had to rescue him during a storm.And the girl...she was diving near the caves to clean up trash that had sunk.I feel drawn to them like im supposed to be part of their group.It was that feeling I had when I saw you on the beach on the night we met...I knew it would lead to something good.”You tried your best to explain your feelings.He nodded,reclining in the chair and stretching out his sore legs. “I understand,(Y/N).But I dont know enough about these kids to let you go around them.Im not trying to control you,Im just concerned for your safety.You’ve seen it all before where your kind gets involved with the wrong human folk and winds up dead or trapped in a tank.You cant let that happen,I cant let that happen.I’ll learn as much as I can about them,okay?”He asked.

You sighed,watching as Blue slowly walked in and sat by the door. “I wouldve felt if he had bad intentions or anger,he didnt.When I was out for my swim they tried to find me again to make sure that i was okay.If they were bad they wouldnt have done that.”You mumbled.He nodded. “But they didnt know who you are and what you are.Maybe if they had they would act differently but I dont exactly want to find out.Let me learn about them first,alright?”He asked.You nodded as he turned on his television. “Netflix has new films this month,why dont you flip through them until you find something you’d like to watch?”He offered,leaning forward and handing you the warm black controller.You grinned,biting your bottom lip as you watched the preview for H2o Just Add Water. “Hey-hey Richard.”You laughed.He looked up at the television,holding back a laugh as his nostrils flared. “No-nope.”He shook his head.You laughed,looking through the episode titles before snorting. “Siren effect!”You giggled.He sighed,pinching the bridge of his nose. “If that is what you want to watch than go for it.”He grinned.

You shook your head,going back to the home page.You settled on a show called I Am Not Okay With THis.You werent really paying attention because you were too busy thinking about all the things you wanted to do in such little time. “It really sucks that we cant go into the woods like we used too.”You sighed.Richard frowned,nodding in understanding. “You know that its not safe for you out there alone.”He reminded you.It was dangerous for anyone to go out at night especially young girls.The Cut had some pretty dangerous places that became even more dangerous at night. “Do you think I could go if Blue came with me?”You asked.Blue’s ears perked up at his name,his mouth falling open in a dog smile.Richard nodded hesitantly. “Alright.Dont go too far and stay away from the graveyard.”He leaned back in his seat.You grinned,standing up.You didnt bother with the leash,hopping down the front steps excitedly with Blue right behind you.You didnt think you’d ever get used to the smell of grass and the feeling of dirt between your toes.Your hair got caught in a few branches but you couldnt care less.

You could see the faint green glow of fire flies a few feet away. “Why do I always have to get the firewood?They’re perfectly capable but no,no of course theyre just too high to do basic things.”A feminine voice ranted to herself.There was no way of telling exactly how far away it was but you assumed it was pretty close when the fireflies dispersed.Blue barked softly,a growl coming from her throat. “Hello?”The voice called upon hearing the noise.You huffed,silently thanking the gods that you wouldnt have to speak to yet another boy. “Hello.”You replied,finally seeing the owner of the voice.Her dark hair was tied into a fancy french braided bun that probably took years of her childhood to master.Her skin was the color of werther’s chewy caramels.She wore a white and black hoodie that was large and a bit baggy on her small frame along with a pair of light shorts.You knew she probably couldnt make out your features in the dark.That was one of the advantages you were grateful for.You had always been able to see close to perfectly in the dark which definitely helped with your insecurities when you knew for a fact that others couldnt.

 “Why are you in the middle of the woods?”She asked.You held onto Blue’s collar so he wouldnt lunge at the pretty girl. “The dog needed to pee,what about you?”You asked.She giggled,playing with her fingers nervously as her legs got a tingly feeling. “Oh-um-firewood.What’s your dogs name?”She asked.You slowly let go of the collar.Blue walked forward eagerly to sniff at the girls shorts,hands and shoes. “Blue.”You answered.She kneeled down to pet the large dog as he sat down in front of her,licking a slimy streak on the side of her face. “And what’s your name?”She asked,directing the question towards you.You grinned upon realising that this was her.This had to be a sign. “(Y/N).”You answered,watching as her face fell and her mouth fell agape.You were the girl JJ spoke so fondly of.She could absolutely agree with him about your voice.She had never heard one quite like yours with that weird accent.

You could probably make some really incredible ASMR if you wanted too. “Do you….by any chance have blue hair?”She asked.You smiled to yourself. “That would be me.”You confirmed.She blushed,biting her lip. “Im Kiara.I think you know my friends,JJ and Pope.”She muttered.You hummed,swatting a mosquito away from your face. “I met them briefly.”You told her,snapping your fingers by your side to get Blue to come back to you.You rubbed the back of his left ear,seeing Kiara stand up straight again.The original blue was missing part of his left ear after getting into a fight with a rat the size of a puppy.That was definitely in the top ten scariest moments of your life.You and Richard had been inside the house baking a cinnamon peach cake for his mother when she came home from a long day of work.You had started to smash up butter in a large bowl that you had actually made for them when you heard a mix of screams,hisses and whimpers coming from the backyard.

He had grabbed the broom,ready to break up a fight between two young children.You had both ran outside,screaming in shock at the sight in front of you.Blue had been shaking his head back and forth,trying to get the rat of of him.You had to tackle the poor dog,ripping the rat off and practically suffocating it.Richard had ran inside to grab one of his old dirty shirts,running it under the cool faucet water before running back outside and holding it to Blue’s damaged flesh.You had thrown the rat down the hill as adrenaline coursed through your veins.He had gotten the bleeding to stop,the red liquid had stained the already dying grass.You used your bandana to hold his ear down and bandaged.That had happened only a few months before you had lost your ring and became pretty much completely confined to the ocean.Since then Richard had tried his best to keep everything the same.When the first Blue died he was quick to find a similar looking grey hound from an animal shelter.He’d created a raft out of branches and grape vines and fitted sheets so he could float out to your cave.He put newspaper into plastic wrap so you could keep up with things going on in the land.He didnt go anywhere outside of North Carolina without telling you first.Pretty much his whole life revolved around you.

“Cool,cool.So are you visiting from somewhere?”She asked.You had gotten used to that question. “No,actually.I kind of just stay under the radar,you know?”You asked.She nodded. “So are you a kook or a pogue?”She asked.You shrugged,scratching your nose. “Um...I’d say its complicated.”You answered.She hummed. “Yeah,I get that.So where do you live?”She asked. “Between friends,I suppose.I should probably get this handsome baby home before he falls asleep.It was great meeting you though.”You grinned.She nodded. “Ill see you around,(Y/N).”She smiled.You walked back through the woods the same way you had came,eventually coming back out outside of Richard’s house.

You went through the back door,the dim kitchen light making you realize the scratches on your ankles.It brought a smile to your face.You felt like a normal teen girl for the time being and you knew you only had so long. “(Y/N)?Are you back?”Richard called from the living room. “Yep!”You shouted back before heading to the bathroom.You looked in the mirror,smiling at how dry your hair was.It was dry and hanging at your shoulders,not flowing in the water or getting pushed into your face by currents.The small slits behind your ear were covered with skin and you could move your feet in circles.You werent sure which part of your life you preferred.You turned on the faucet,staring at the water that flowed out of it.You turned it off,looking back up at the mirror angrily.Your sisters never had to deal with everything you had gone through.They were all dead anyways and only god knows how many others there were out there.Hell,there could be some walking around Outer Banks right now with their rings keeping them safe.The shit you would do to get your ring back was ridiculous.

At this point you might even kill for one. “Are you okay in there?”Richard shouted.You flicked the light off,coming out of the bathroom with your hand sin the pockets of your jeans. “Rich,I just met the girl.”You told him,standing in the doorway of the living room.He say up straight,placing his bag of skittles down. “What girl?”He asked.You sighed,sitting back down on the couch indian style. “The girl.The girl from the group I saw earlier today.Ive encountered all of them now,that cannot be a coincidence!”You exclaimed.He shrugged. “Well,lets not jump to conclusions now.You say the Maybank boy looks a lot like him,yeah?”He asked.You nodded. “Well then maybe he’s related to the fella.You still have your old photo albums in the caves?The ones I laminated for you?”He asked.You nodded,waiting for him to continue. “This might be jumping to conclusions but what if Jesse is related to him?”He asked.

You sighed,shaking your head. “No,no he never had any kids.”You answered.He grinned. “Yeah,he didnt.But that doesnt mean his older sister didnt.Linda,I think.Wasnt it something like that?”He asked.You gulped. “Linden.She died in 55’ though.I dont know if she ever had kids.How would we find that out?”You asked.His eyebrows knit together,the bags under his eyes seeming darker. “We have google now.Hand me my phone,please.”He requested.You grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter,looking at his screensaver.It was a picture of a sunset taken awfully close to your cave system.You remembered that sunset in particular because of how bright the pink and purple hues had been.You didnt remember him taking the photo though.You tossed it to him,the strange object falling into his lap. “Hey siri.”He spoke to his phone.A ding came from the device. “Show me all information on Linden Silslip.”He requested.A few articles came up so he handed the phone back to you for you to scroll through.It wasnt until you got to the very bottom that you found an article about “The Sea Monster of OBX” with and interview from Linden.You looked through the article,pressing down on Linden’s name.A whole page of information came up.You couldnt believe what you were seeing.

Comment a smiley face if youd like to be added to the tag list

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[maryniss]

The Hero

Fandom: Sk8 The Infinity

Summary: We found out who built Carla.

Characters:

Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Nanjo Kojiro | Joe

Relationships:

Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Rating:

General and Up Audiences

Tags:

Fluff

ofc it had to be a rewrite of the preview in ep 9

Kaoru being soft for once

Kojiro being a total simp

had to rewrite it cause the first draft got deleted

Notes: hihihi matchablossom is the coolest name for a ship pls im dying i love them so much. btw, kojiro means hero in japanese. ahahahahha

also fuck adam

and the palm trees

also inspired by a convo with my bestie @seleneslyre-writes​

Why Kaoru loved Carla so much was a mystery for Kojiro. It wasnt even that great. What could she do? Just some little tricks here and there.

Well, one thing was certain. Kojiro regrets that he built Carla for Kaoru. Or, he doesnt regret it. He loves that his friend has something he treasures so deeply. He really wants Kaoru to be happy. But, still. There is this feeling in his stomach, the same feeling he has when his soup is just a little too salty, when his carbonara pasta have just too much parmesan.

Kojiro sighs and the fire on the stove does too. It is really not the time to actually be thinking about Kaoru. Especially not right now. When his pink-haired friend sits in front of him, waiting to eat something.

"Oi, are you trying to starve me to death?"

Ah, Kojiro knew this would happen. He should just focus on his food. Just his food. Just the food he was making for Kaoru...

Ah, he just remembered how Kaoru used to skate. Before Carla. Before Adam left to America. When Kaoru skated, he was feral. It didnt matter that he could get hurt. It didnt matter that he was getting the corner at a wrong angle. It was simply amazing to watch Kaoru skate then. If he was sincere, he probably fell for him when he first saw him skate. It was probably spring and Kojiro was going back from school. How old was he? 16?

Anyway, the weather was warm and all around him sakura flowers were swinging. He remembers that his feet were cold for whatever reason and that he wanted to go home as soon as possible.

He didnt see the guy with the skate. If his hair would have been a different color from the flowers that were around him, maybe he would have.

Kojiro and Kaoru clashed and fell on the hard asphalt. The sakura flowers were all around them. Or maybe it was just Kaoru's hair; Kojiro couldnt distinguish them.

And, yes that was the moment he fell. He fell hard. Never in his life had he fell harder. Even when he broke his femur and almost died. Never has Kojiro in his life been so deeply attached to something.

He tried to lie to himself weeks after that. He would say to himself that he has not fell for a skater boy. It was probably the hair confusing him.

Yeah he decided that was it.

"Ko-ji-ro" Kaoru's voice made him forget about the sixteen year old Cherry Blossom and reminded him that he still had to serve food to his clients.

"Hm? What did you say?"

"Huh? What are you thinking about? It is not fun to mock you if you wont even pay attention."

Kojiro nodded his bead mindlessly. It wasnt like him to be so sentimental, to think so much of the past. Actually, it wasnt like him to think at all.

"By the way, the food is burning." Kojiro looked at Kaoru. Then at the food. Boy, did he wish Kaoru would just joke.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.", said he as he turned off the stove. Well, there certainly was a problem.

"Ok, big mindless gorilla. Now, I dont have patience for you to try again."

Kojiro opened his mouth just to close it again. He was shocked that he actually burned it. This hasnt happened to him since he was 15!

"Dont you have anything to drink?"

Kojiro blinked and looked at his friend's bandages. He finally spoke some coherent words.

"You sure you can drink like that?"

Kaoru relaxed on his chair and looked at his friend, a provocative gleam in his eyes. His hair was quite messy and damn that was the hottest shit Kojiro has seen. For some reason.

Come on, Kojiro. You have to stay calm. Calm like pasta. Pasta is good. Pasta is calm.

"Ok, ok, I’ll give you something to drink, but not too much, okay?"

Kaoru grinned and his golden pupils shone. Outside the restaurant, people were minding their business, not even looking twice in their direction. It felt as if they were secluded from the rest of the world. Just the two of them. Just the...

Fuck, Kojiro. Remember that pasta is good. Pasta is cool.

Kojiro got a bottle of wine from under the table.

“What is that?” Kaoru looked sceptically at the bottle of champagne.

“Just a something I bought from the local store.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect such a gorilla like you to drink something of quality.”

“Maybe your tastes are just too refined.”

Kojiro poured a glass for his friend and one for him, too. Kaoru smelled it and made an unpleased face.

“Hey, if you don’t want to drink it, you dont ha-”

Kaoru gulped the glass and slammed it against the table. Kojiro could see the lingering liquid on Kaoru’s lips. He would love to bend over and kiss them...softly...soft lips...

KOJIRO, PASTA. THINK ABOUT THE FUCKING PASTA.

“Ok, but you’ll pay for it.” Kaoru scoffed.

“I can afford some cheap drink. But why won’t you pour yourself a glass? Then you wont say only I drank.”

Outside the restaurant, the people did not pay a second glance to them. It was as if they were the only people existent in the world. Only the two of them..

Yeah he’d like that.

***

One bottle of champagne later and Kaoru had almost fell asleep. His hair was sprawled across the table, covering his face. Kojiro gently brushed it aside, tucking it behind a bandaged ear.

He loved this man so much and he had has since ha was 16. That’s why he built Carla for him after Adam left for America. After he had been rejected. When Adam left, not only Kaoru got hurt. Kaoru changed; he started to skate carefully, as if to not get hurt again. And it broke Kojiro’s heart to see him. 

It took Kojiro five months to build Carla. He didn’t know how he did it. He hadn’t sleep for days, he remembers. But, it was worth it. It definitely was.

“Mhm-take your hands off me, you big fat go-aaah.” Kaoru yawned and the corners of Kojiro’s mouth went upward. He sighed, stood up and gently took Kaoru into his arms. The man seemed to be somewhat lighter than before. Kojiro frowned.

“...know...you...hero...” Kaoru mumbled something with his face hid in Kojiro’s broad chest.

“Mhm? What did you say?”

And all of sudden, Kaoru woke up and threw his arms around Kojiro’s neck, pulling him closer. He started kissing his face. He kissed every single inch of dark skin, Kojiro’s nose, Kojiro’s cheeks, Kojiro’s eyes.

The milky moon’s light was entering on the window, throwing silver shadows over their bodies. Kojiro was... well he was simply amazed. Never had this happened before.  Never had Kaoru kissed him so softly and affectionate. And, yes, maybe it was because he was hurt, but it didn’t matter. Kojiro loved it, loved it so much, goddamit! Why had to be Adam that broke Kaoru’s heart? Why should this beautiful man stand some where else than in his arms, where he knew that he could protect him?

“Have you wondered why I always loved Carla so much?”

Kojiro didn’t say anything. He didn’t really want to know, for some reason. Actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was kind of jealous.

“You really are one dumb gorilla.”

Kaoru smiled and his body relaxed in Kojiro’s arms, whom tightened his grip.

“It’s because you made it for me, Kojiro.”

Also, a bonus that i want to happen:

Kojiro didn't came to see the race. Oh no, there was only one thing he wanted and he would definitely get it. He eyed the target. Adam was on the stage, playing his stupid game with cards and whatever. That was perfect. that way, everyone could see. Kojiro tightened his grip on his skateboard. He reached the stage in no time and patted Adam on his shoulder. "Oh, who is-" He slammed the skateboard in his face. "First, this is for breaking Cherr's heart." He punched him in the stomach and it took all he had to not punch him way downer. "And this is for breaking Cherr's face." Ok, so that was already done. No, all he had to do was to resolve the teenage love drama he had to witness some days ago. Kojiro took the mic. "Langa! Stop wasting your fucking time here. Go and see Reki!" And, with that, he left. After all, he had someone waiting for him at home.

*** maybe i ll do a fic for what did langa afterwards? idk :)

[dazbooks]

Imagine Me review (spoilers)

first of all I just want to say that I love the Shatter Me series and really respect Mafi as a writer.

However.... I was very disappointed with the final installment of the series. I was so excited for this book and as much as I have tried to feel satisfied I cant help but feel that Imagine Me was just not it.  Overall, Imagine Me lacked the prose and feeling that made me fall in love with the series years ago.

here are my biggest points:

1. WARNERS POV- I loved hearing Warners thoughts and feelings in RM + DM, and I really missed it in IM. The whole time i wanted to hear warners thoughts, especially at the beginning. However we just got a shallow one sided description of his reactions that made him out to be an asshole . I know Mafi is capable of beautifully conveying warner and I honestly dont know why she didnt do it. I feel like Warner was relegated to a side character in Kenjis story and deserved to be heard. I also feel that Warners reactions were out of character; after all he’s been through, making him revert back to his original self was just disappointing. Warner grew and overcame the majority his emotional boundaries in DM; eg his relationship with his father (which had been central to the storyline). My guess is that Mafi realised this too late and didnt quite know what to do with him in IM

2. ADAM??-  I honestly dont even know. There was the whole memory of Juliette and Adam in Oceania that didnt have much of of an explanation. (maybe im just thick) And his sudden transformation into a weirdly happy guy at the end just felt like a cop out. Once again, Mafi had an opportunity to explore a really good arc and emotional journey and she just chose not to touch it.

3. PLOT HOLES AND LOOSE ENDS- there were a few things that just didnt add up and werent explored 

Anderson doing an ‘operation’ on himself: I guess it means he was trying to give himself Adams powers, but it was really unclear and never revisited. 

what happened when Anderson came to the sanctuary: Where did Warner put Juliettes body? How was she discovered? what was the whole french thing with Haider? This is were Warner’s narration could have been very useful

Castle felt weird idk

stephan and the other supreme kids? I demand answers

4. NO K + J-  My favourite part of SM was Kenji and Juliettes friendship. All I wanted was to witness one more of their iconic witty yet deep convos and I would have been okay. But we didnt get that, nor did we get much of a development of Kenji and Nazeera’s relationship

5. the last two chapters in Warner’s POV were cop outs. Mafi used the equivalent of “and they all lived happily ever” basically. She probably knew that people would be upset about Warner’s POV being excluded from the main plot so she used the last 20 or so pages to hastily wrap everything up. We got a snippet of Warners head (if that) and There was no confrontation between the Anderson brothers (Adam seemed to cured of his PTSD after being tortured by his father??) I know we cant expect everything, but come on.

6. GENERAL

the writing style just felt glossed over; my favourite parts were the sections that repeated the lines from the previous books (good touch though)

Juliettes POV was barely there because of Emmaline or ‘Robo J’ I feel like we only got a glimpse into the J we know and love. The book just wasnt the same because her complex and poetic inner thoughts which Mafi usually portrayed so well just werent there. I find this the most heartbreaking. I kept waiting for a chapter of Juliette that wasnt tainted by something but I guess that it just wasnt meant to be

BASICALLY, (if youre still reading) I feel like this would be okay if it wasnt the finale or it had been split up into 2 books w/ Warners pov. I had to keep reminding myself that these plotholes would not be explained in the next book. There was also no character growth like there was in Defy Me, therefore I feel that Defy Me better showed the characters’ final developments (even if they were all wrecked in Imagine Me) 

I guess I feel that the readers and characters deserved more of a goodbye to the series than what they got. The characters (beside Kenji) just werent the same as they were in other books. My feeling is  that Mafi was under a time crunch and could only do so much in so little time to make everyone happy. Also, how could you possibly say a final farewell to such complex and developed characters? But it just feels like the whole changing Juliette into somebody else and not having Warners POV was a lazy way of truly coming to the end of their journeys. Almost as if Mafi couldnt even try.

It breaks my heart to say this after loving this series without fault: SHATTER ME fell at the last hurdle in the race to become a near perfect (in my opinion) series. I will always love SM but I suppose I just feel a little cheated out of the finale I believe the series deserved.

[lexa-kom-skaikru]

As a bisexual woman i'm so gratefull for this season of Lucifer. Before on Fox they could only state the characters bisexuality or use it for the characters to get something, but this season we got 3 bi characters with great story lines and relationships. Eve was amazing and her deciding in the end that she needs to be her on person before geting with MAze is amazing and mature and actually really respectful od Maze's feelings. 1/?

Maze of the lilim, Hell’s best torturer, feelings are for the weak and i get everything i want, that Maze fell for Eve and still tried to help her with Lucifer all the while trying to show her she deserved better but still without sabotaging Eve. And for a character like Maze that is such a great development from who she used to be, and when they do get together i think there is going to be a really lovely, sexy, healthy relationship, so i can't wait for that slow burn.

Finally Lucifer, dude that started the show by blaming everyone except himself is finally realising that he needs to take responsibility. Who started as a playboy that only wanted to have fun and sleep with Chloe and grew to respect her and all her desires, who flirted and annoyed just for fun but still respected her so much and never crossed any lines. When they finally get together its going to be one of the best most organic and healthy f/m relationships on tv and i'm so here for it.

I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID!

Honestly, to me this was the best season of Lucifer so far. I HAVE SO MANY FEELSSSSS!!!!

Eve is my love! I have loved Inbar Lavi since I saw her in “Imposters” so I was extremely excited when she was cast to play Eve because I knew she was an amazing actress but I was not expecting Eve to be so damn perfect!!!!

I had accepted that they were just gonna bring in Eve just for the drama, and then Eve and Chloe would fight over Lucifer and it would just be a cliche overused trope of a love triangle and god... was I wrong!

First of all, Eve’s characterization is so far off from what I imagined it would be. I don’t know how the fuck they managed to make a character so sinful and pure at the same time???? SHE IS EVERYTHING!!!! I love Eve with all my heart. And they never pitted her against Chloe, EVER! Like, even though they both wanted to be with Lucifer, they actually got along and liked each other. Chloe was respectful that Lucifer was now dating someone and Eve never blamed Lucifer for having feelings for Chloe while he was dating her. That was amazing.

Then there was the fact that her storyline could have gone wrong in a million different ways if  the writers had been different. They managed to have Eve surround her identity around Lucifer and Adam but it still somehow be about herself? Eve being obsessed with Lucifer and being the lovesick girlfriend was actually important for her character growth and it was definitely planned from the beginning that her story line would be about her realization that she needed to discover herself first before she can be with anyone else. The realization that she deserves better. That she IS better than she gives herself credit for. That was what her journey was all about and I love how they did that.

Then MAZEEEEE!!!! MY BABYYYY!!!! They finally let her fall in love!!!!! And fuck!!!!! Lesley-Ann did such an amazing job. FUCK ME! I was in tears!!!! Maze has come so far and I am so proud. Season 1 Maze would never have done any of what she did in season 4. She fucking sang in front of a bunch of people to declare her love for Eve!!!! Maze who doesn’t even like being vulnerable in front of one person, got over her fears and opened her heart and was vulnerable in front of so many people. Maze who spent all her time trying to help Eve be happy with Lucifer even though it hurt her and at the same time make Eve see that she deserves so much better than what Lucifer was giving her. This was everything I have ever wanted for Maze and I am so glad it finally happened!!!

And then Lucifer, my handsome charming devil! I wanted to punch him when he was trying to get Eve to break up with him but considering how the episode ended I was fine with it lol but he has grown so much!!!!

One thing I didnt like what Fox was doing with Lucifer was how they always backtracked on Lucifer’s progress as a character but this season there was actually significant growth that is here to stay. 

AND NETFLIX MADE IT GAY!!! FINALLY!!!!

The fact that the show has 3 main pansexual characters is honestly amazing and I am so happy that they aren’t playing it for the laughs or as a sideline part of these characters anymore.

[marinasquer]

SOS: Save Our Spider - Sprueger

Who: Marina Squerciati and Patrick Flueger ( @pjfluegerx​) When: March 1st - Evening What: Patrick saves the day when there’s a giant spider; they bite the bullet and kiss (as themselves!) for the first time.  Notes: Because I’m a noob and forgot how Chatzy doesn’t save the whole thing, we lost the beginning of the paras! I made a ‘what you missed on Glee’ update in case anyone’s curious.

Between a whole lot of teasing, Patrick successfully tracked down the spider, captured it, and then released it outside. For payment, Marina offered him a beer and leftover pizza. They then were chilling on the couch while he ate/drank. Because he’s a dweeb (a cute dweeb), Patrick sat on Marina at first and then after moving, he tickled her side. It ended up in a lot of tickling and her trying to get away. Being strong af, he pulled her back and she fell on top of him. So many fanfic cute clichés. 

Marina: looked at him with wide eyes. "They make me do them, too! So they can use my pretty face," she joked. "You want me to get in trouble? You're so nice to me. Always look out." When he figured he wasn't going to loosen his grip, she simply relaxed back against him. "You know, you're kinda comfortable."

PJ: he laughed "Nah they can edit a lot so they dont even need your pretty face" he smiled. She did do a lot of her own and he did too. till they limit if them getting hurt when they would use one of their stunt devils. "I know right I like you so much I want you to get sent home to have a day off" he laughed. He did his best not to smile at what she said. He liked having her in his arms too. "you're not to bad too.." he said brushing some hair from her face.

Marina: "Oh, so you think I'm pretty?" Her tone was teasing as she questioned how he seemed to agree she had a pretty face. Since they'd been with the same group of cast and crew since 2014, they had a lot more freedom when it came to doing what they thought they could. "Or, you know, fired for physically assaulting a coworker." Marina looked up at him when he said she wasn't bad. The feeling of his fingers against her face made her take a little breath in. "Then I guess I'm not moving."

PJ: he made a face " I said you had a pretty face dont mean I think you do" he was trying to joke. "but yeah you do" she was cute she had always been of the cast that had the better looks. But all of them were very close since the show had been going on so long now. "Like you hurt me that badly" he laughed. "I wouldn't mind that" he smiled at her.

Marina: smiled as she shook her head at him. "You can't try to go back on what you said now. I caught you." It was impossible not to laugh along with him. "It doesn't matter how badly. It just matters if I end up hurting you or not." She wouldn't, of course. Marina settled back against his chest as she got herself comfortable. "Now you're stuck."

PJ: he couldn't help it, "Well i am not mean like you so i cant lie" he chuckled that was his excuse. "But I'd love to tell the story when you were trying to get away you tripped and elbowed me in the eye '" he chuckled. "Oh no i am gonna be stuck for life" he said adjusting them a little so they were laying better on the couch. "But i am nice and warm"

Marina: "How the hell would I have elbowed you in the eye when you're taller than me? Did I fall but end up getting higher?" She chuckled at the way he said he was stuck for life. As they moved, she easily got herself comfortable. "You are super warm! You're at the very least stuck until the show ends," she said with a laugh. "Which I hope isn't for a while."

PJ: he laughed. "you were trying to escape from me and it happened or you were just being mean and dropped an elbow on me" he smirked. "I think we are both so hot we are both warm" he joked smiling at her. "I sure hope it last for a while more" he knew no show lasted forever but he had hope his would last a while longer.

Marina: chuckled. "I don't like the just being mean option," she told him. "Oh, first I was pretty and now I'm hot. Okay, Paddy. I see you." Thinking about the show, she smiled. Hopefully they wouldn't have to say goodbye to these people and characters for a very long time."

PJ: smiled at her "Because you don't want your secret out that you're a meanie"" he teased her. "You are because you are around me and i am hot so it makes you hot" he winked. He was kidding out of the two of them it would be her that won the hot battle. He smiled about the show as he was playing with her hand a little with his own. "Its a great show all of them are really" he liked the group of shows they had it was like a very big family.

Marina: "You're the only one that thinks I'm a meanie," she told him. "So it sounds a lot like a you problem." When he argued that being with him made her hot, she rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say." He was hot. Marina easily let him play with her hand, curling her fingers lightly every so often. "They are. Hopefully we all go on for a while." It was an amazing experience getting to be on a show that had two family shows.

PJ: he shook his head "Nah no one else will tell you to your face that you're mean" he smirked at her. "You didn't say no so it's true" he gave her a fake smug face. Why was her hands so soft? he was just wondering that as he moved his hand to hold onto hers. "I sure hope so, or Adam gets his own spin off" he chuckled.

Marina: playfully pushed at his shoulder with her free hand. "You're the only meanie who tells me I'm mean." When he called her out on not denying he was hot, she rolled her eyes. "You know you're hot so shut up." She intertwined their fingers as he moved to hold her hand. While a lot of people would think this was crossing a line, she felt completely comfortable. He meant a lot to her. "Adam can only have a spin off if Kim gets to be in it!"

PJ: smiled when she pushed him. "Everyone else thinks it, but they wont say it" he made face acting like he was coving something up. He nodded "i knew it" he winked at her then smiled. He shouldn't hold her hand and keep her close, but he couldn't help it. "If things didn't go how they did I think a two cops and a baby show would be fun" he smiled at her softly.

Marina: "I can't be too mean since you're still here," she pointed out. "Just don't let it get to your head!" She knew she probably shouldn't, but she carefully turned herself around in his arms so that they were facing each other. Her head moved to rest against his chest. It felt nice to cuddle with someone again. Friends cuddled all the time, right? "Hey, she could always get pregnant again. Though she'll need some time first."

PJ: "well you are smashing me so I cant got any place" he nodded with a small smirk. "Already there, you think i am hot and I'm gonna tell everyone" he joked. It was nice having her there and her being so close. It felt so nice and everything. "In time yeah I think they could try again" even know it be hard after what happened to them. He wanted their characters to be as close again just so he could work closely with her more.

Marina: chuckled a bit. "You don't want to leave. It's okay. You can admit it." As they joked around, she laughed some more. "I feel like that's not really news. Everyone thinks you're hot." While Marina liked that they were showing such important plots on the show, she had wished things turned out differently. Just so that her scenes with Patrick weren't so stressful now that they had gone through the trauma. "That's how you know I have good acting skills. Having to pretend Kim liked being friends with benefits with your annoying self."

PJ: he smirked "I think it's you don't /me/ to leave" he winked . He didnt really want to leave. This was nice over going back home and being alone. "ha" he laughed. "I wish but I think it's more you are" he smiled. He wasn't that well known outside of the show and he felt like everyone knew her. It was hard the show was going well for the couple and then had to change. He got why, the drama the story it was good for views. "I was gonna say the same thing suck a good actor for having to kiss you all the time" he teased

Marina: It was both of them. She could tell he didn't really want to leave and she didn't want him to. "Don't even try that. I've seen so many of the fans thirsting over you! And any female guest star we get is automatically praying she gets scenes with you." He was definitely a fan favorite. "Hey, I'm a great kisser. You're welcome!"

PJ: It felt very right being here with her. Just laying here cuddling and talking. Something that friends should't be so good with. But he really couldn't help it he liked this feeling. He laughed outloud. "Please you ask someone who's not a fan of the show who I am they would never know" he chuckled. "but they know you" he looked at her in the eyes and smiled. "Eh i don't know about that I think it's me who's the good kisser here"

Marina: "They don't know me either! I'm literally known as Burgess. People call me that on the street. Or they half remember me from Gossip Girl. That's it." She really liked this moment. Getting to just relax with him, talk a bit, joke around. It felt right. "You're okay. You're a little sloppy sometimes," she joked.

PJ: "please they know you, no one knows of my old show" he chuckled "people know of gossip girl easy" he smiled a moment "I get called Adam a lot it's weird" he shook his head. "Ohh really" he rolled his eyes. "i think you wanna kiss me so you mess up so you have to kiss me again"

Marina: had a little smirk on her face as she spoke again. "You know what people think when they think of you? The Princess Diaries." She chuckled at him admitting he often got called Adam. "They always ask me how Adam is. As if I know or care," she joked. Marina rolled her eyes at him. "Never! I always try to do any kind of kiss scene with you in one take. That's all I can deal with."

PJ: he made a face almost getting up when she said it. "No no no no one needs to remember that" he laughed. He wasn't in it much but it was a movie he rather forget about since he was embarrassed about it. "You are mean see,that's so mean" he rolled his eyes only kidding. "I don't know I think we always have to do a few takes and the director says Marina come on!"

Marina: Since she didn't want him to get up, she wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him down. "I'm sure a lot of people don't connect the dots. Don't worry. You only have to deal with me reminding you of that crazy colored hair." She rested her head back against his chest for a second. "The director is always congratulating me on a job well done. I'm the girl taking one for the team and having to deal with you."

PJ: he laughed when she held onto him so he couldn't get up . "the only good part of the hair is people have no idea it was me" thank god was young and dumb and did what he was told .So that was dying his hair a wild color and playing a nerd. "no way he says the same thing to me, I get all the props for having to kiss you"

Marina: "That movie is still so iconic though. I don't think it'd be a bad thing for people to know about it. You were acting!" Marina shook her head at him. "Yet they still keep writing kissing scenes for us. Blame the fans. They make it so that you have to deal with me and my super soft lips."

PJ: "I did enjoy both of them, but was a bit glad I wasn't around for the second one" he was glad he had a first role. But really he didn't do a lot with it. "I know it's all on the fans loving our .. i mean our characters ship" he smirked a moment at her. "oh you have soft lips ? I had no idea"

Marina: gently rubbed up and down his arm in a comforting way. She knew he wasn't really the biggest fan of the character. "We should watch them. Have a movie night. And I promise to fast forward through any scene you're in." When he started saying their ship, she tried not to think too much about it. "They love us too. I've seen people saying things. I just ignore it since it seems to come with any kind of cute on screen relationship." Marina looked at him with the little smirk. It was cute. "Oh, shut up."

PJ: he looked at her for a moment, he didn't want too but he couldn't say no to her. "I cant say no to you...so as long as we skip what I'm in...its okay" he smiled. He had not seen the first one in a long time. "People dont see anything but the characters they dont know we are not them..." he got why had shows and movies he thought the actors really had something going on. "No, unless you want show me your lips got better since we last had that on screen kiss" he was only kidding so he laughed

Marina: Hearing that he couldn't say no to her meant more than she thought it would. "We'll do an embarrass Marina movie night too. I promise," she said with a chuckle. Since she was going to have him watch something he was in, she'd watch something with herself in it. "Exactly. Which I like to take as them saying we're just really good actors." Hearing him joking about showing how her lips had gotten better, she blushed slightly and buried her face against his chest. "You're the wooorst."

PJ: he laughed "we better i'm gonna need something good to make up for my hair" he said messing with his own hair now. "That is true people think we really have a thing for each other" he looked at her smiling softly. "you love it" he said rubbing her back.

Marina: "At least you have the comfort of looking in the mirror and seeing your hair is completely normal now. It was just a phase," she joked. As they started about people thinking they were really into each other, she let that conversation fizzle out. While she wasn't sure if she did, or if it was just admiration and care for someone she'd worked so closely with for this long, she didn't want to risk it getting out. "I do," she admitted. "As much as I like to tell you you're the worst, you know I think you're the best. Well, maybe not the best, but pretty high up there."

PJ: he sighed "I don't know what I was thinking then, I thought I'd like acting so I took a chance" even if they had to make him have a wild hair color. But he did care about her a lot really. He cared about everyone in his cast that was there now or that has left over the years. But she was one he really did care the most about. "i knew it" he whispered with a smirk of a smile. "You're not as annoying as I say you are...you're pretty cool too"

Marina: continued to comfort him. Without really thinking about it, her fingers went up to gently run through his hair. "You were thinking that you wanted to break into this insane world of acting and that a character like the one you played would be a fun challenge." While she loved everyone they worked with, he was different. They'd had chemistry since day one. Everyone could see it. Their co-workers sometimes teased them about how close they were, but it was just one of those fate friendships. When you just click. "See, I knew you had a heart somewhere in there," she teased.

PJ: he knew that she understood. That he didn't like the role, mostly since he was teased about it a lot. Most just laughed at how goofy he was and she supported him still. "I have no idea why I did why I thought this was a good idea" he joked with a smile. Her touching his hair was nice it made him smile. He knew there was a spark with her but he just knew it wasn't something they should do as much as he like it. "Little bit of one" he said tracing his finger along hers just wanting to keep her close

Marina: "It was a good idea. It gave you something to put on your resume so you could continue getting jobs. Now look at where you are! On the seventh season of a show." She wanted to encourage him as much as she could. Marina could feel her heartbeat slightly picking up. She knew it probably wasn't the smartest idea for her to be like this with him, but she didn't really want to stop it. "I like it," she admitted. "You're a good guy under all of that asshole personality." Joking was safer than being serious.

PJ: smiled at her "it was, I never had been so nervous before I mean Anna wasn't a big name yet but she was cool but Julie Andrews I couldn't talk to her" thank god he had no real-time he had act with her. He didn't think he could have done it. He too knew it should stop that it was late and he should get back to his place. But it fel so well here laying and cuddling with her. "Only for you..."

Marina: laughed a little as he mentioned Julie Andrews. "I think I would've shit myself if I was in a movie with her. I don't know how you stayed calm on set." There seemed to be a million things running through her head. Should she mention how they both had an early day tomorrow? Or should she just be selfish and stay in his arms? Was it a problem that she liked it so much? Her head lifted up slowly at his words so that she could look into his eyes, smile on her face. "Saying it like that makes me sound special or something."

PJ: he laughed with her "I almost did I was very glad I didn't really work with her but I did get to meet her" but he had not seen her really since. They really acted in different groups. Julie was a movie star and broadway sometimes and Paddy mostly stuck to his tv acting. He too knew they had be on set in only a few hours. That they should be sleeping...in their own beds. But this was to good to end for him. "You are a little bit to me" just looking into her eyes

Marina: "I wish you worked with her now. You could've introduced me! Would've made you good for something," she joked. Her eyes were practically attached to his as her hand went up to run through his hair again. He seemed to like it when she'd done it before. She did too. "You're a little special to me too. Guess that's what happens when you go through an on screen emotional rollercoaster with someone."

PJ: he laughed "so you only use me for Julie?" he chuckled. He had talked to Anna a couple times but mostly would just follow each other online. "If i ever had the chance to talk to her again I would" he hoped he would have the guts to talk to her. Damn it, she just had this thing about her. He couldn't stop looking at her and she was touching his hair and he was melting even more. "We did have to deal with something big acting-wise..." did show how good they were with such a hard subject. He moved his hand to touch her face softly he couldnt' help himself.

Marina: laughed along with him. "Oh, definitely. And I appreciate that you would potentially make a fool out of yourself for me." Her heart was practically pounding in her chest at this point, but she didn't dare move away from him. She didn't want it to end and she knew that they'd both shy away from each other as soon as the spell was broken. "Oh, yeah. From flirty to together to engaged, to not engaged to flirty to sleeping together. We've gotten those two through it all." She absentmindedly leaned into his hand.

PJ: "I would but I think anyone would be a fool around her" she was just like a queen like in real life. he was nervous, scared and wanted more. Even know he felt like he was sort of dying he couldn't let this feeling god. "they have had to deal with a lot over the years..but no matter what i think they love each other" he smiled at her. He wanted to do something but he was nervous it was just his mind playing tricks on him. But he had to take the chance if anything he just go home after. "I..." he couldn't speak he just used his hand to cup her face softly and kissed her.

Marina: “I think so too. She’s so regal,” she said with a bit of laugh. As they stayed there in each other’s arms, she had to keep reminding herself to calm down. This was nothing. It was her hanging out with her good friend. Anything extra was simply in her head. Emotions were all over the place when they filmed. It was fine. “They do. I still think they’ll end up together in the end. It’s impossible for them not to at this point.” When he started to speak, and then quickly stopped, she was confused. That was until he was leaning in for a kiss. Even though sirens were going off in her head, she placed a hand on the back of his neck and easily kissed him back. It made sense.

PJ: he nodded "Like she really is amazing" the movie was a long time ago. but he still could not forget how it was to even be in the same room with her. It was wild how much they had done with their characters over the years. "i think so too, and once the can get better after their loss they will be stronger" he sure hoped so. It just would take time. He took a chance, he knew he was crazy to do the kiss. But he felt like he had too and the kiss felt so right. He just went on kissing her, oh it felt good not like their acting kisses too

Marina: could only imagine how awesome it was to work with someone who had such an astounding career. That woman was in a league of her own. “Kim just needs some time to figure things out. To forgive herself.” Which was understandable. The two characters had gone through a lot. Marina leaned up on her elbow a bit so that she could deepen the kiss. It was a lot different than kissing him on set. This felt more real. It felt like something she should’ve done a while ago. After taking some time to kiss him, she gently pulled her head back as she took a deep breath. A small smile was on her lips.

PJ: he nodded about Kim "They both need time, and space to get past it but I know they will" he smiled at her. The kiss, the kisses god he had wanted to do it for so long. But he kept himself since they were friends and co-stars. He didn't want to mess anything up by having feelings. That he thought she didn't have too. He smiled as he pulled back from the kiss laying his head back down. "you are good kisser" he just had too.

Marina: was trying not to think about what the kisses meant. It was something she’d wanted to do for a while, but she was always afraid of messing something up. Of going for it to only get turned down. Of making their friendship awkward. “I told you,” she replied playfully, fingers playing with his hair. “Though you already knew that. You just refused to admit until I got to prove it again.”

PJ: he did hope she wanted the kiss for the same reason he did. That years of being friends and having to be a couple on screen did lead to something. He knew a lot of on screen couples it happens too. But he really felt something strong about her. "this is when you say Patty you kiss soo goood too" he teased as laced his fingers wit her and kissed her hand

Marina: As their characters continued with their romance stories, Marina couldn’t help falling for the guy behind the character. They spent a lot of time together, in super emotional and close scenes. It was almost inevitable. It happened to a countless amount of other people in the business. She just never thought her feelings would be reciprocated. Marina laughed at his response. “You really need an ego check,” she teased. “You’re not too bad though. You could’ve done better.” Marina smirked as she looked over his face.

PJ: the years on the show it just happened. He knew he had always cared for her but over the past year it grew. She was someone he thought and cared about deeply. "Well you did kiss me back soo... cant be that back" he winked at her having to kiss her once more

Marina: She chuckled a bit before easily leaning in to meet his lips again. Her fingers curled into the hair on the back of his head, almost as if she were trying to keep him as close as she could. When their kisses died down again, she pretended to be unbothered. “Okay, I guess you’re a pretty decent kisser. Someone I’d definitely kiss again.”

PJ: he smiled into their kiss enjoying it. Glad that she was here and wanted it. that she didnt push him away or slap him for it. "Yeah...you are pretty good..." he winked as he has kiss her once more putting his hand on her to pull her close that set off his watch, it was very late and into the next day. "shit " he looked at his watch. "I dont want to say this...but it's late and we need to be on set in like a couple hours" he laughed kissing her once quickly.

Marina: let him pull her close, arm wrapping around him to stay where she was. Hearing the watch, she furrowed her eyebrows and waited as he looked at it. “Shit,” she echoed. Marina kissed him quickly before burying her face against his chest. “I hate early call times,” she playfully whined. With a little sigh, she pulled away from him and moved to stand up. Her hand went through her hair as she looked down at him with a smile. “You know, I think you’re gonna have to come back tomorrow night. There’s probably gonna be another spider to save. Just a guess.”

PJ: he hated to see the time, but they had to get going to bed. Because they couldn't look like they didn't sleep. "me too, damn sucks being there a dawns ass" he sighed. He didn't want to let her go but he did slowly. "dang I'll make sure to get her sooner so keep them away from you" he slowly got himself up. He bit his lip for a second before he gave her another last kiss. "You need walk away or I'm never gonna get back to my place" he hugged her now just having too.

Marina: “You definitely should. Might as well just come back here after work. It makes the most sense.” She had a huge smile on her face as they joked. As he approached her again, she quickly placed a hand on his cheek as she kissed him back. Her arms easily wrapped around him as their kissing turned into a hug. “I don’t want you to,” she admitted. “But, okay. I’ll see you in a few hours. I’ll be the girl looking like I only slept for two hours,” she joked. Her arms slowly loosened as she pulled back from him.

PJ: he smiled "I think i like that Idea i do need to keep you safe" he smiled softly at her. he had get the last kisses and hugs he could get in before he was going to have to leave for the night. "I don't want to..but if i dont we are not going to sleep" he knew it. So he slowly let her go and walked towards the door. "same just like a girl who got two hours of sleep"

Marina: couldn’t help the huge smile that was on her face. “My hero,” she joked. As they pulled away from each other, she grabbed his hand as if she wasn’t actually going to let go. “I know,” she said with a sigh as she dropped his hand. She wouldn’t be getting much sleep anyway. Her heart was still racing. “Hey, at least we’ll get to spend some extra time in the makeup trailer while they make us look like we slept enough.” Watching him at the door, she quickly went over to kiss him again. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

PJ: he smiled back at her glad that this all worked out. "I try" he smirked. He smiled at her hand and chuckled when she let it go. "that is true i know i am gonna need a good hour so i am gonna make us all late" he laughed lightly. He smiled and kissed her back "stop i am never gonna go" he put his hand on her face joking before he just kissed her forehead "good night....." he was making himself go as much as he didnt want too

Marina: “Eh, it’ll be for a good cause,” she teased. “One only I’ll know about, but still.” She chuckled at herself. It felt like she was a giddy teenager with a crush. Something she hadn’t felt in a while. “Goodnight,” she replied as she stepped back so that he could actually go. Marina watched him head down the hallway before stepping back into her apartment and closing the door. The night had been perfect.

[spiftynifty]

TeeVee Podcast’s Voltron s8 review

I’ve been waiting eagerly for TeeVee’s review of s8. If you recall, their s7 review was what gave us the man getting choked up about Shiro’s relationship. 

The link to the podcast is here but if you’d prefer a sort of transcript, here are some of the highlights for me. I didn’t always catch who was speaking but I wrote down initials where I could. S=Shanon, A=Antony, M=Moises, C=Chip D=Dan. The panel is divided on their feelings on the season. 2 of them seem to have hated it, one liked it, one thought it was fine, and one feels mixed about it. Anyway here we go, some great quotes ahead. 

Under the readmore cuz it’s long. 

S: "After 7 seasons of a show that was going to be one of the animated series of the decade, they not only did not stick the landing, they fell on their butts, rolled off the mat, off the lines, into the judge's table and their leotard popped open"

"A lot of the plot was callbacks to things from seasons ago that we really probably didn't need to see again." "I wasn't entirely sure that they weren't gaslighting me."

Man Shannon is calling out some great points. She's calling out the dropped druid plot thread, and wondering what the point was of showing Lotor's past when he's dead, and nothing can change in his present and his redemption can't really happen.

A: "endings are hard. I was disappointed with this season [...] it was let down by poor plotting and that final battle made me throw my hands up in despair most of the time. But I have enormous sympathy for the EPs. Maintaining a longform episodic story is hard. And to pull off an ending that satisfies even MOST of the audience is harder yet. and let's not forget they were always upfront that vt always had 'editorial interference' from up top. Toys, the fact that it's aimed at children, corp resistance to some of the more modern social issues that they've tried to tackle. THAT SAID, we don't know what happened on this production, who had the final say, what they argued over. and I say this cuz a lot of the fandom drama over it assumes a LOT over how media and entertainment like this is made that simple ARE. NOT. TRUE. Some of the stuff I've read has been ABSURDLY offbase, like that there were different writers rather than just 1 the whole way through which ignores how TV is made. And if you think these writers just go off and write a script without talking to anyone first and then they come back with something that must be filmed without any changes, THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS. [..]we don't know who made these decisions. The studio isn't always the bad guy. Sometimes they rescue things that would otherwise have been a horrible mess. And unless you were IN THE ROOM, you don't know, and neither do any of us. So let's all bear that in mind. [...]You can't lay the blame OR credit on any one person. For any of this." 

They're laughing & making so much fun of the final 3 episodes and how baffling they were. 

"Don't even get me started on Voltron merging with Atlas [and the crew disappearing] that was a bad, bad idea." 

"But that was the ONE time Shiro was back with the team!"

a couple dudes are relatively ok with the Allura death because we've never seen a WOC heroically sacrifice herself for the universe and usually it's the Shiro hero character D: They also point out that technically she wasn't fridged so.. yay?

Antony and Shannon vehemently disagree. 

A: "My problem with that ending was more just that it was... not. good." he makes a comparison to RotJ where Vader still dies and it's his SON, who lives, who 'redeems' him. "This was none of those things. It felt like a terrible lesson. You can be so evil that you kill literally billions of people for 10k yrs but if you say sorry just before you're about to be executed it's alright, dw about it, we'll put the universe back to rights. NO, that's a terrible lesson!!"

S:"They had the LIONS. That's my problem. Throughout this series we've had stakes going up but there has always been a trading of ideas, what can we do, what can we figure out, up to the point where they wind up sacrificing the castle, but they go through steps before that 'is there anything else we can do’. And here, there's not even... she didn't even get to say goodbye to Coran! This is the one character, WOC, and she has sacrificed throughout this entire series. She lost her planet. She lost the last connection she had to her father in the AI. She kept LOSING things over and over to the point where she sacrifices her crown to help Shiro. and the thanks she gets is that she has to turn around and say nope I've got to away and fix all of this and apparently never see you all again. It really, REALLY REALLY bothered me. All of my friends who have CHILDREN who watch this show, universally the kids were upset and angry and tearful and HATED that outcome. This did not feel like a triumph. Having to lose Allura like that robbed any kind of triumph in the success of saving all the universes. And I think that's one of the reasons that this last part of the season sits so poorly with me. I feel like it should have ended in a triumphant way. even if it meant losing a couple of the team members or the lions. Of course that takes away the toy aspect which is why that's not an option. We already had several tragedy arcs in this series. Zarkon, Honerva, and Lotor had tragedy arcs. Why does Allura have to have one too? We've had enough." 

Antony & Shanon KILLIN IT on this podcast y'all.

C: "This series relies so much on 'oh wait, there's a new upgrade', 'oh wait, there's this new thing'" A: "Well that was the entire final battle." C: "So there's this handwavy Allura has to sacrifice herself. The heavy lifting wasn't done to make this an earned moment."

S: "I do think, whether it was at the direction of DW or WEP (Vld IP), without those little epilogue cards, there is the potential opening that Allura might be able to return.[..]It was open to interpretation."

One guy likes the Shiro ending for the surprising progress aspect, even though he's not thrilled about how it was put together. also he isn't convinced the epilogue wasn't planned. He likes a lot of s8 but all the stuff he likes is tied to stuff that he really didn't like.

S:"The shiro card is the other reason that I think those things were shoved in. For me, that turns Shiro's entire character into a token when he wasn't before. When they introduced his sexuality, it was done BEAUTIFULLY. There was this conversation with his significant other a mature relationship that ran into its problems and therefore couldn't happen anymore. Adam could've been Adele, and nothing would have changed about that conversation. It was not the defining characteristic of Shiro. It was just something else about him."

S: "And then s8 happens and Shiro is divided from everybody on the team. There are so few interactions of any kind that aren't just barking orders. or making plans. Keith is the prime example. Their friendship had been a backbone of this series and suddenly they can't even stand more than feet 5ft from each other. 

A: “It’s barely evident, yeah.”

M:”And the same with the rest of the main cast. And if they had set that up at the end of s7, that he’s going to go into the background a bit, it wouldn’t have felt as weird.

S: “And they didn’t! S7 was miraculous in the fact that even though he’s no longer in a lion, he’s still got a vital part to play in the series. And s8 erased that. It pretty much neutered him! And the kind of message is once you've revealed this character to be gay, we've gotta keep him out of the way. And if they had not put those end cards in, again the fact that he's a gay man is just the fact that he's a gay man and it's not any bigger or smaller aspect of his character, but they did not EARN him marrying random bridge crew member #3."

A: "and RETIRING! A man who LEFT adam because he felt he had to go and fight."

A: "He left the guy he loved before because of his devotion to"

S:"To fighting to making things right"

A:”To being a soldier and doing the right thing.”

C:”Isn’t the whole point then that he achieves that?”

M:”The fighting’s over and he can leave that behind and he can actually be happy.”

S: “He wouldn’t’ve. I don’t see it.”

M: “I violently disagree.”

C: “I think it was a nice endcap for his character."

Moises also likes this because it’s not a BYG scenario and he gets retired. Shannon is extremely exasperated by these takes. 

S:”For me, it’s like Tangled. You go through Rapunzel and Flynn, going through their adventures, getting closer, getting to know each other, they save each other, things like that. And then she’s reunited with her parents and then we get and endcap that says ‘for political reasons her parents decided they needed to marry her off to the prince in the next county, sorry’. That would’ve had people RIOTING. Thats not how you do a story with characters that people care about. And to shove shiro off onto this random character that we--his name is never spoken!”

A:”No he had like 3 lines in the entire season.”

S:”He had 3 line sin the season, you don’t know his name unless you watched the subtitles, and in the audio narration for the visually impaired, they called him Adam in the endcap. They called him Adam! They fixed that now. It feels like a hugely clumsy attempt to grab the woke points for a character that didn’t need them.”

Moises then talks a little about Shiro and Keith and how he and Shannon both thought there was something there, and still do, but they can’t know what happened behind the scenes and to theorize on the intent of that relationship is “conspiracy theory land” and trying to decide what the writers were prevented from doing is like “reading tea leaves and chicken bones”. He references people extracting things from his own writing. 

M: “As much as I wanted to see that relationship flower and flourish, the fact that it didn’t, look, it’s one of a million times that’s happened for me, with fiction, where things didnt turn out the way I wanted to see them.”

S:”I’m talking about 2 different things, as far as Shiro’s character, vs shipping  issues. I feel Shiro’s character was done a disservice that if they were going to end him in a relationship with another man, they didn’t earn it by throwing that little endcap on.”

M:”Yeah, they could have brought back one less robeast or something.”

S:”The other thing is, I think there is enough out there as far as interviews with JDS and LM to show that at the very least I think they meant to leave it openended. Again  if you take out that endcap, the last shot includes a shot of just Shiro and Keith, together, same screen, looking up as the lions go away, without saying anything further. I know I pie in the sky hoped that they were gonna kiss this season when we did our s7 recap and yes that was the shipper in me talking. I truly did not expect that they would be able to go that far. What I did not expect was for them to tear it down. And I feel like that’s what they did. Between the complete absence of interactions in s8, and then throwing that epilogue in there.”

Dan doesn’t understand how that could be because he sees no reason for them to do that. Shannon patiently explains about DW’s history with LGBT characters but Dan insists that the creators told the story the way they wanted to and he’s fine with Shiro getting a marriage even if it’s a character they don’t know. 

Overall the panelists love the show still, and in most cases prefer to consider it in the realm of s1-6 with a weak final double season (7&8) or that the show ends after s7. They would all love to know how long the NDAs last, a making of perhaps, to know what the heck happened and what changed along the way. Big mood my dudes. Big mood.

[social-holland]

Fool for you

Pairing: Mob!Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Warning: Mention of death, angst, mob stuff, swear words

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is Harrison Osterfields and Tom Hollands best friend since their childhood. She is just a normal university student who is friends with the heads of the most dangerous mob in England. But what happens when she taken by a rival of her best friends.

Word count: 3942

A/N: This is from @gab-spidey 's 2k writing celebration with the prompt: “ It's national ´Kiss Your Favorite Person´ day! Pucker Up, buttercup. You're in for the ride of a lifetime.”

"You are in for a treat. Today is a very special day.“ beamed the voice on the other side of the line as Y/N answered her phone. "What special day is it now, Haz?“ She asked, clearly a little bit annoyed with the boy on the other line of the phone.

You were just finished with your university classes for the day and were now on your way to your apartment before leaving for work. And these special days were nothing new to you. Being friends with Haz for over decades of time, you knew how much that boy loved making some stupid day extra special.

Haz was someone special. No other mobster would make a privat video just to show how to make pancakes on pancake day and show up, not even a few hours later, with pancakes at their best friends front door.

Or National Dress Your Pet Up day, where he actually got costums for Tessa and Monty and dressed them up. National Popcorn Day, where Haz forced Tom and Y/N to eat Popcorn all day or National Hug Day. One of the many examples where Haz was being extra special.

But her favorite memory nevertheless. That day would always have a special place in her heart. Haz would not let go of her all day, hugging and cuddling her. Furthermore it was the young girls favorite memory because it was also the day she realized how much she had been falling for her best friend and how she would never be able to let go of him. Her heart just decided how comfortable it was with the young mobster and from this day on it was a done deal. The heart wants what it wants, right?

A smile appeared on her face. Just the thought of him. His smell, his facial features, the little crinkles when he smiled, his beautiful bright blue eyes and blond kind of curley hair. The way he would hug and hold her. The late night conversations between the two or the thought of all the tender memories shared between them, their families and their other best friend, Tom. He was the only person in the world that knew about your little secret. There were countless times where he would want to force you to finally tell Harrison. But you couldn't do it. Your friendship was so much more important that this whole hopeless love thing. Better have him as a friend than not have him in your life at all.

"Nah, not gonna tell until you arrive. It is a surprise, love.“, Y/N could hear him smirking on the other line. "Haz, I swear if this is another one of you stupid ideas…“, she wanted to start but was promptly interupted. "No complaining, today is special. Adam is going to pick you up from work at six o'clock sharp.“ She was just about to respond but he stopped her, "Tom needs me. Bye, darling.“ And with that he ended the phone call.

If the Y/H/C woman wouldn't know better she would never guessed that this boy was the right hand man of the most dangerous man in London. But than again if the public would knew Tom like she did they would never guessed that he was that said mobster. Yes, the Tom Holland.

The most dangerous, richest and possible most intimidating man in England. The thing with Tom, Haz and you were that you guys were childhood friends. They were not intimidating to you. The two divs were your best friends in the world. The ones who went through thick and thin with you. The ones who shared their whole lives with you. Well, most of their lives.You were not part of the mob business and you preferred it that way. It was scary to you.

Much to your own parents delight. Harrisons and your mom were best friends ever since university and even through Haz mother fell in love and married a mobster later on, did it not change anything between their friendship or the one you and Haz had ever since you both were born. It also did not change when little Tom Holland came into your life. Harrisons father was the right hand man for Toms father. It was just natural for you three to become best friends.

You spend your whole life with the two divs. Through kindergarden, pre-school and the rest of your school career.  But while Tom and Harrison decided against going to University, and instead taking over their Dads places in the mafia, you went studying.

Just like your parents would wanted you to be. That was the difference between you friends. Your mother a psychologist and your dad a lawyer. They raised you to stay out of that business and follow your own goals in life. They loved Thomas and Harrison just like their own sons. But at the same time they were against the idea of you joining the mob.

You were always a brillant and hardworking child in their eyes and your parents wanted you to find your own way and pursue your own dreams.

That said, you were still under the watch of the Holland and Osterfield family. That was just the way it was. Once someone was involved with mobsters, let alone the Hollands, there was no way that there would not be threats against you from rival mobs.

But that didn't concern you as much. It grew to be part of your normal everyday life and you chooses to not give it as much thoughts. You did not believe that someone would be as stupid to do anything to you as long you were under the watch of the most powerful mob in England.

When you arrived at your apartment, you opened the door and let your backpack fall to the floor before making your way to the bedroom. It was a little apartment but it was all you needed, it was your own. Tom had first insisted that you should live with him, Harrison and his brothers at his mansion but you refused. The apartment was not to far from the uni campus and you were proud to be able to afford it on her own. Let alone that Tom and Harrison would always be so freaking worried that you would just taken away from them. She shook her head. Alone the thought was ridiculous.  

You quickly changed into your work attire before grabbing some clothes and uni stuff you would need for the next day. Y/N knew exactly how this special days with Harrison would end. He likely would make some „Celebration“ or some stuff and it would be way too late for you to be driven back.

So you would stay at the mansion and would take a ride with Tom and Haz back into town the next morning. If you were honest this were the best days. Not because of the celebration rather the opportunity to have late night talks and even better late night cuddles with Harrison, later when you two were alone in his bedroom. For you that was all you needed. Just being with Haz and laying in his arms. His arms around your waist, holding you close to him. Your legs tangled with each other and your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while he slept.

God, he was so beautiful when he slept. Always a little smile on his face and so… peaceful. He would probably never be yours but as long as he would at least hold you like that at night you were okay. You knew that at least you would always be his friend and that needed to be enough. You had Harrison somehow by your side and if it could not be as your lover than at least as your best friend.

When you had packed everything together, you made your way out of the apartment and on your way to the little bistro were you worked. It was a nice work place. Owned by an older italian woman who were basically like grandmother to you. As you entered the bistro, you greeted the older woman behind the counter, “Buongiorno Arianna. How are you?“ The elderly woman smiled at you and greeted you with kisses on both of your cheeks. "Ciao, amore mio! I´m good. What about you?“

You smiled at the woman in front of you "The same as always.“ Arianna squeezed your shoulder for a moment before letting go of you and making her way to serve a customer who just had entered the bistro.

Today was a rather slow day. Only university students and some business people had taken some of the spots the bistro offered. Every once in a while came different customers to grab a coffee, sandwich or some cake and leave immediately.

Y/N spend the spare time cleaning or talking to Arianna. You liked the elderly woman a lot. When much needed advice, Arianna was your usually go to. She was just a wise person who knew what to say when needed but at the same time would not hold back.

Around five pm, Arianna had asked you if you would close the bistro on your own so that she and her husband could enjoy a date night together. The Y/H/C haired girl had of course agreed. Arianna left twenty minutes later with a hour to spare for you to clean, get the last customers out and prepare for the next day.

As the last one had left, you had locked the door and went to change in the bathroom of the bistro. You rather not wanted spend the ride to Toms mansion in your work clothes. It was a 30 minute ride to the county side and you just wanted to be comfortable.

Just as you were finished and came out of the bathroom one of Toms cars parked in front of the door. Your smile widened when you remember that it only would be half an hour until you were seeing Haz again. Your thoughts with Haz, you took your bag, locked the door of the cafe and turned around to the car. You opened the door of the car and slid into the car seat.

"Hey Adam.“, you greeted your usual driver as you closed the door. But as you turned to the drivers seat you were terrified to see that there was not Adam in the seat. Instead there was a guy who looked very smiliar to him with his dark hair and the usual uniform. That's why you didnt realize earlier, that it was not a good idea to get into the car.

Tom always used the same people. He only switched people when they turned on him and that rarely happened, they knew better. Let alone that he would have informed you if there was a switch.

Next to the man sat a really well dressed guy. His hair slid back on his head and in an expensive looking suit. Almost as expensive looking as the ones Haz and Tom wore when they went to do business. You could see how both oft he men had guns in their hands or next to them. They were definitely part of a mob but not Toms. You had never see him before. "Where's Adam?“, your voice shaken.

You felt your throat close up, your body tingling with a rush of anxiety. The man in the passenger seat turned around, a sinister smile on his face. His eye colour looked almost black. His smile wider than before and even wider when he spoke "Sweetheart, I'm afraid that Adam will not show up. We will take you on a little round.“, he and the driver gave an ugly laugh.

Your hand found the handle of the car door. Ready to open, anxiety flooding you and ready to escape. Before you could even open the door or move, the man pointed a gun at your head. Your Y/E/C eyes widened with fear. "If I were you I would not move, Y/N.“ Why did he knew your name? The only thought that somehow make sense in your head. Anxiety already taking over you, restricting your mind from forming any reasonable thought.

The door next to you opened and the man with the gun took the place next to yours, his gun still in his hand as well as some ropes and some fabric. "Now Y/N, my name is Robert and you will do as I say or it will have not so nice consequences for you. Understood?“ Your head felt dizzy but you nooded. He took your arms with force and restricted them tight behind your back before taking a fabric and blindfolded her eyes, covering her tearful eyes.

The other man started the car and followed the road. "Don't cry, love. One or the other way we are going to return you to your Tom. We will see through in which condition.", Robert laughed. Fear took over you and tears escaped your eyes. The next thing you felt was a punch in your face. You cried out. "I hate crying woman. It is so obnoxious.“, Robert spit. You tried to hold more sobs back before another punch hit you directly on your left temple and knocking you into the door. "Just shut the hell up.“, were the last words you heard before another fabric was pressed onto your mouth and nose. A weird smell took over you. The last thing that came to your mind were Haz blues eyes before you passed out.

Harrison was never worried, never. But when there was no sign of you, the car or Adam at already seven pm and non of you answered your fucking phones, he nearly lost it. You were his girl, his everything and it was his and Toms duty to protect you at all cost. "Where the fuck are there? There should have been here half an hour ago?“, he could hear Tom angrily speaking to one of his man on the phone. "Than track the car find the fuck out where they went. Now.“ Harrison was walking up and down in the office. Nervous. About to call you again. This must be a joke. Tom ended the call. He looked at his best mate. "She still has not answered her phone?“ "No. I tried multiple times. Adam, as well. Something is wrong. She always answers. I'm going to kill Adam if she should even has a scratch on her.“,he ended the call after you had not picked up again.

A few minutes later Hunter, one of the tech guys, walked into the office. "We tracked one of the cameras and found the car. It seems like Robert and one of his man got hold of Adam and killed him before taking the car and capturing Miss Y/N. They headed south, near the industry park.“ He opened the computer and showed the two mobsters the footage.

Anger took over Harrison as he watched it. He saw you entering the car and it taking off with you in it. He was in disbelieve. That could not happen, especially not today were he wanted to finally tell you…

His knuckles turning white as he got angrier. He took on of the glasses on that were standing on the table as he basically threw it at Hunter. "Find where the car exactly went or today will be the last day you live.“, he spit at him. He nodded in fear and left to track the car down.

"Mate, you need to calm down.“, Tom tried to reason with his best friend. "Are you being serious? Robert has taken Y/N. You know, as well as me, that this could be her end.“, Harrison turned to Tom and glared at him. "I know and I am just as angry as you but you need to calm down and think reasonable. We will get her and she will be safe but we need to be calm otherwise we will make mistakes.“

A few hours later, you gained consciousness again. Eyes still tied and your mouth shut with tape. You were sitting on a stool and your hands were bound to it, as well as your feet. You already could feel yourself tearing up again. You were struggeling to try to loosen the ropes but no luck. Panic was starting to take over you, as you realized that this could be your end. Suddenly, the tie around your eyes were taken away and you tried to adjust your eyes to the light.

You heared the ugly laugh, of the man who had taken you, again. "Nice to join us again, sweetheart.“ Robert was seated behind a desk and was watching you. Some sort of liquor in his hand. "You know, it is so much fun to finally have you as a guest. Let's make a little phone call before we can start the pleasant part of your stay.“ Robert got up from his chair and made his way over to you. In his other hand already your phone and dialing a number.

"Robert, if something happens to Y/N, I swear…“, you could hear Tom on the other side before Robert interupted him. "Tommy, you should think about what your saying next. Her life is in my hands and you might as well not want to anger me.“, he ripped the tape of your mouth. A cry escaping your lips. "You're dead.“, Toms voice icy. "Any last words, darling?“, Robert holding the phone to your ear. "I…I'm sorry, Tom. H…Haz…“, you were sobbing. "We will get you love. You will be fine. Haz is with me...“, he spoke reassurling to you and you could hear the sound of him driving in the background.

Robert held the phone to his ear. He laughed "Oh, she will be fine when she has a pullet through her head.“ Robert ended the phone call before Tom could reply. "But firstly, we will have a little fun.“, and with that he started to punch you.

You were laying on the floor as another kick hit you but at that point you were numb to it. Barely conscious, you heard the sound of a gun being loaded. That was it. This was your end. Once again the familiar blue eyes entered you mind, memories with Haz flooding it. Times, which were spend with him, Tom and your families. You just hoped that they would forgive you. Your eyes closed, darkness finally hitting you.

I love you, Haz. The sound of a gun going off.

"I need you to wake up, darling. Please, wake up. I love you.“, You could hear a honey like voice next to you. Your body hurt, your head felt like a train had rolled over it and your arms felt limb. You slowly tried to open your eyes but everything was so bright. You tried to move your hand but something was holding it. You groaned.

The bright light was suddenly gone and a hand touched your face. When you finally could open you eyes, you saw Harrisons face. He was leant over you. Your face in his hands. "Oh, thank fucking god.“, teary- eyed he looked down on you. "I'm so sorry, darling. He should never got a hand on you.“ Memories filled your head. „H-Haz“, you chooked out. Your voice being raspy. He caressed your cheeks, whisking you tears away, "He can't do anything to you, anymore. You are save.“ You closed your eyes and took Harrisons hand into yours. You signed as you felt his lips giving you a soft peek on your forehead. When you opened your eyes again, you saw that you were in his bed and you wanted to get up. Haz held you back. "Stay, love. You need rest.“

He handed you a glass of water from the bed side table and you thankfully accepted it. He helped you sit up. "How long was I out?“, you asked after handing him the glass back and leaning into the headboard. "A few hours. We had you checked out and the doctor said that you would be okay. Nothing broken just bruised, thankfully. But you are on bed rest.“ He sat next to you. His eyes never leaving you and a hint of anger in them. "I am so sorry, Haz…“, you wanted to start but your voice giving in. He furrowed his brows, "Why would you be sorry, darling?“ Now, he looked really angry. You hung your head down "Because I was not careful. It is my fault and I made you angry.“

"None of this is your fault, darling. I am angry not because of you. I am angry at that pig piece of shit. That he got his dirty hands on the one girl I love and that you were in danger because of me. Especially on the day I finally wanted to talk with you about my feelings.“, he took your hand into his and squeezed him a bit. "You…Y-You love me?“, your head shoot up. Harrison careful watching you. "Yes, I do and it's okay if you would not feel the same for me. I���I just want to…“, his voice low and him being shy before you stopped him.

You took his face in your hands and looked into his eyes, a small smile grazed your lips before you moved his head down to yours and slowly brought your lips together. You could feel him smile as he moved to carefully bring you a little closer to him. Taking your waist, as you tangled your hands in his hair. His lips felt soft against yours and you never wanted to let go of it. But as Harrison caressed your waist he hit a sore spot and you gasped of pain. Immediatly he let go of you, concern in his eyes "I'm so sorry, Y/N.“

"It's fine. You couldn't know.“ You slung your arms around his neck, still not ready to let him go and trying to lean against him. You could smell his boyish scent mixed with a hint of cigar smell. His arms careful wraped around you. You looked into his eyes, leaning closer as you stole another kiss from him. "I love you, too. In case you couldn´t already guessed.“, you smiled at him.

"Nope, didn't realize it. I think, I need another kiss to have the prove.“ He smirked at you.

"So am I going to be third wheeling from now on?“, came a voice from the door. Tom leaning against the frame. Harrison and you jumped at his voice and you winced in pain. Your body still sore from the attack. "Way to be careful, mate.“, Harrison looked angry at Tom. He let you rest against his chest. "Sorry, Y/N. Just wanted to check on you and the div. But glad that you guys finally got yourselves together.“ Tom grinned a little bit. Harrison signed.

"Thanks Tom. I'm okay, just hurts a little bit and I have a headache.“, you smiled thankfully at him. "I will get you something.“, and with that he left. Harrison groaned and leaned his head on yours. „That div, one day…“ You laughed at his words. He looked at you, a small smile on his lips. His hand playing with your hair before he leaned down to you. About to kiss you again before he whispered "Oh by the way, it's national ´Kiss Your Favorite Person´ day! Pucker Up, buttercup. You're in for the ride of a lifetime.“ You beamed and whispered "Good, I can't wait.“ Lips already hovering over each other.

"Oi and I thought I was your favorite person!“

"Tom, you div.“

________________________

Thank you for reading! ❤ Opinions and ask are much appreciated. This is my first work in a long time (except for the Forgive and Forget teaser). I really hope the read more link works.

[sentiniel-butitgetsworse]

rwde

highly unpolished, awful explanation, but scene-by-scene commentary of unbridled annoyance and rage. read at your own peril.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so the episode opens with a fight scene. sweet! cool! but its so badly staged, sometimes you have no idea what is happening the first time round. it’s crowded and messy, not a very good look? im talking about grim being hid behind ice while the camera is panning and hitting some trees when we’re literally panning out to show someone else in focus DESPITE THE FACT THEIR MITIGATION SHOULD BE FRONT AND CENTER TO LET US KNOW IT HAPPENED CLEARLY. legit! there’s the one where nora shoots at a grim and the shell explodes into black dust and the grim is gone. did it die? grim dont usually die by fuckin smoke but this one sure fuckin did i guess ‘cause i literally dont know what happened to it? no recoil and fall, just deleted and hid behind some 2d-lookin smoke! sure! why not?!?!!!?

s/o to the white/rose speedy thing that had no reason to be there and yet they did it

---

then there was the “adam ruins everything” segment where he literally just murders? everyone? like i get that its off screen for the younger audiences but also like he fucking murders everyone. literally! did i miss something? is it a good tactic now? did they think it was very villainous of him to murder people??????? god bring me back to the beginning when he actually has a good character reason for why faunus would follow him into revolution because this adam taurus is so bad he’s worth flushing down the drain for.

“tHe BeLlAdOnnA nAme HaS bRoUgHt Me NoThINg BUt gRiEf”

also that opening shot where adam is proud. jfc what? is he even part of salem’s crew anymore? was the Adam short supposed to tell us he isnt? is anyone reviewing this and thinking 100% it’s a good idea?????

wait why is this scene even second? that’s a really awkward position to put it in the whole episode? honestly? like it kinda underlines how awkward a villain adam really is; it has no build up, no reason to be there. sure, the audience is hungry to know what happened to adam, but there’s legitimately no reason to put it as the second scene in the episode, there’s no context??????

callout post for this scene because its literally just voicelines while panning slowly through the bottom floor of the room. and the blood only shows up later??? also is the white fang only comprised of like 7 people now??? isnt it a globally feared organization (ie. isis)????

---

there are two bodyguards for the train. two? two. and for some reason they’re asking for dlc to provide more/personal protection? hello, did i miss something? anyone thought it was a good idea? what class of transportation did they get? if it was dangerous enough that on a train ride they’d need people to guard the journey it wouldn’t even be built there? or what, did they get a max-luxury, train ride with insurance kinda deal? and it had two (2) bodyguards? two (2)!!!!! or was it in the middle of the road??? i may have enough context for the environment but none on economy of this place i swear

“hey ladies we’ll protect you wink” jaune and lie ren literally sitting one (1) feet away not saying anything, could be everyone’s moment to justify “hey we’re literally huntsman despite being kids, we know what we’re doing” but qrow has to step in and apparently his  credentials would ward off some bodyguards???? like “hi yes sorry im the dad of literally 8 kids, i can protect them all” not a convincing argument here bud

illia deserves more time on screen and also closure because neptune fuckin hit on her and that’s obviously enough to change scenes right

also neptune being “you really gonna let her go? l:/” feels like he’s salty instead of wukong tbh; wukong feels/sounds like the literal i can do anything kinda guy -- which he is in mythology and probably in universe (except for intelligence i guess, despite the fact he literally outsmarts his opponents through a lot of his mythos) so i dont mind him being let off the hook, but any hesitation implied during this scene? weak

illia building up to kiss but hugging blake instead, but blake kissing wk on the cheek straight up on camera yo really

---

blake emos in the corner and because its queued up right after the wk/neptune scene its not a far fetch to say she’s emo-ing about wk but turns out its yang? would’ve preferred the setup to be stronger (blake watches yang get on the bed and feels sad/regret, zoom in on yang’s arm to show the audience but not tell them)

i give props to blake being shown “wait leme get that for you” real out the way though, because it underlines properly that blake feels ridiculously bad and wants to do something to make up for yang. good characterization/storytelling!

then they break it w/ like a 30s scene of yang and blake making up almost immediately with a “oh everyone will feel better about it soon :)” BRUH SHE GUILTY BOUT YOUR FUCKIN ARM BITCH CUT BACK TO REALITY DAMN the running away part is sincerely legitimate but also??? blake should be a/ more anxious than that and b/ be more worried about???? yang’s arm??????? for real m8

---

“dont let anyone else die” a/ assumes the bodyguard trying to defend the train literally died and b/ also really fell flat? as a line? get something better...????

genuine dislike for the tactic of qrow fights the Big Boss and everyone gets a handful of weaklings; to stall? possible. but also just feels like a bad tactic overall? also their animations always look like they’re doing an rpg battle; one ability used + animation! then return to original position. that’s a big fallacy of fighting monty oum style and i genuinely hope they recognize it soon

“YOU’RE ATTRACTING THE GRIM TO THE PASSENGERS” ??? i get the part where leading them to the back of the train may help (having them all divided in sections [grim + hunters, passengers, front of train respectively] may help but how does automation attract grim again? like, turrets shooting at them would do so if they’re in range, and they all came from the back so they’d move along towards the middle, but also they wouldn’t continue moving forward? i guess? what im saying is they should really just be around jnxr + oscar instead of way forward in front

when the bodyguard tried to get into the train and barely made it, that SNAP sound was just. raw. i felt that. good! i was very scared/horrified/eager to see if they’d literally break off his arm and he’d just be lying there in a pool of blood or something in shock. he didnt because of aura and i don’t know what to say because a/ it definitely wouldn’t be a bruise and b/ if he had aura and was in the bodyguarding business, wouldn’t he also have a proper semblance to fight off grim most likely? and he aint using it so why he so confident for dlc earlier the heck

bumblebee looks back to the carriage and one lady’s just with her baby like a cheap heartstrings tug

“WHY WON’T YOU TELL US THAT” yang’s line here assumes that they’ve asked about it before and ozpin/oscar refused to answer. i disagree? i think it works better with “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US THAT?” because it definitely was a factor they’d all have to take into account with regards to travelling w/ it in the first place. which they are. tbh yang (and jaune in the op) has every right to be mad at him real talk but also change that line please it bothered me so much

---

blake sees the hooded adam figure and honestly idk what kind of omen that is but it feels/looks weird. another no context scene i guess. tbh id take that one out of this episode entirely and shuffle it next episode probably. (and put the adam ruins everything scene at the back of the episode)

grim stop chasing because tunnel. and then they chase the train through the tunnel really slowly? feels weird but okay i fuckin guess; these are just the things im willing to pass on

ren and jaune look at each other like “lets do it” but why does ren? look up? like there’s no extra effects there, its not visible that he’s trying really hard to extend his semblance out. no cool semblance-using eye powers there. it feels kinda cheap for him to do that w/o any additional highlights that he’s activating his aura? also creepy

OH THERE’S THAT SCENE. yang starts off the Big Fight Montage with grabbing the grimm by its horns and then flips it around. cool move! then she promptly punches it up and closes her eyes. what? tbh that was ridiculously weak after a stupid good setup. budget aside i’d say there was an opportunity for a focused choreograph there; instead of a punch up, use a bullet fire up, keeping the enemy’s front half up in the air for a longer period of time. run under, punch/kick the underbelly, bounce off to the side, bullet fire off the side of the train. 

blake cutting off the tail was a good move. rt studios deciding to change shots when the enemy has the same pose, so that we cut to ruby fighting the same kind of grimm is not. it breaks clarity for the viewers, that’s not how matching cuts should work tbh

these big grimm dying in a couple of hits are also just? kinda weak-feeling. like these characters got stronger from rpg levels, but not from actual combat training and learning to outsmart your enemies, or upgrading your weapons. feels cheap.

ruby bouncing around in attempt to kill these grim is kinda cute? which may be what they were trying to do? but also not well choreographed i guess. it doesn’t flow too well, just bounces in seperate spikes.

when weiss redirects the flying grimm to ruby, it feels like its? not clear what she did. was it a semblance/shield? colour that blue, we know she uses white but white on white doesn’t work out well. ruby’s scythe sinking into the grimm also doesn’t work great because you get confusion when the shot is supposed to show it sink into the grimm, but you cant see the scythe blade sink into it. like you could only get it from context after watching it that she sent the grimm flying by doing the above, but dont recognize the action in the moment.

callout post to yang and blake fuckin shooting at nothing when there’s a clear path/shot to ruby and qrow’s big monster.

fireball just kinda looked cheap. there wasn’t a long breathy build up, and the fireball just feels way too fast (camera or distance?); reasonable that qrow would be hit by it, but cheap-feeling in the sense that it shouldn’t have happened/it felt unfair, that it happened. he should’ve gotten knocked on his ass by power/strength and being caught off guard, and it felt like more like “oh no he got knocked down! D:”

HHHHHH WEISS ICE SKATES TO THE GRIM BUT ITS NOT LIKE YOU PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE SOMETHING ELSE CALLS FOR IT AND THEN SHE LEAPS UP TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE GRIM. SHE’S WHITE, THE BACKGROUND IS WHITE, YOU LOSE SIGHT OF HER, I LEGIT THOUGHT SHE VANISHED BEHIND THE GRIMM BUT IT WOULDNT MAKE SENSE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. IN THE NEXT SHOT YOU MAY SEE HER AT THE LEFT BUT HER SEMBLANCE IS BLACK TO MAKE HER STAND OUT MORE BUT THEY DIDNT DO THAT FOR THE PREVIOUS SHOT WHY????????

“YANG!” yang promptly bounces off a grimm that isnt shown to have hurt or is dead from the fight and runs off to the bigger grimm as called. understandable, but the other grimm? is just? there? not dead? not doing anything???

also the we need to ground it idea feels really cheap? the grimm isn’t a problem because of its wings, it’s a problem because it’s being dealt with by one (1) person who decides it’s best fighting it on one (1) front vs two on a train. there’s so many ways to tackle this guy! we know qrow’s capable of jumping onto it, but all he’s doing is that, instead of moving to the other side and maybe catching it off guard?????? qrow, fight fucking better.

s/o to qrow/ruby pulling off a move together, cute but also they should’ve been slicing it at different points of the grimm, because they would’ve just died right away if they both went on the same plane? or anywhere near each other? weapons are fucking dangerous we remember right?

GRIMM LAUNCHES A FIREBALL AND IT GOES ON AN UPWARDS TRAJECTORY. IT DOESNT AND INSTEAD GOES IN AN ARC WHEN IT NEVER NEEDED TO. HERE’S HOW YOU COULD DERAIL THE TRAIN. FIREBALL, MOUNTAIN, AVALANCHE/ROCKSLIDE, TRAIN DESTRUCTION. OLD GRANDMA THAT STUMBLES OUT OF THAT/APPEARS BEHIND THE TEAM AFTERWARDS IS MORE IMPRESSIVE FOR HAVING ADAPTED TO THAT FROM INSIDE THE TRAIN THAN TO JUST SIT THERE AND POP OUT LATER LIKE xD lmao wassup yall?

---

yeah thats it and here’d be the adam ruins everything scene right before the opening but we cant get what we want so w/e

[angstkawa-blog]

Every Day, I love You

Every Day, I Love You

Adaptation of Every Day by David Levithan

“And nothing else is right

You're laced inside my mind

I'm holding on, I know it's wrong

But I can't see your soul”

                          -In my Head by Peter Manos

7:00 AM

Waking up always felt the same, except it’s not entirely like that. I sat up and the first thing I did was to take a look in the mirror to see who I was today. A girl, maybe around nineteen, a redhead, tons of freckles, turquoise eyes, an athletic figure, pretty.

“Allie! You’re taking the bus today, your dad and I will be going to work a bit early today. There’s dinner ready in the fridge, we won’t be home until late eleven, love you sweets!”

I heard the door closing and an engine going off before all went silent.

Taking the girl’s wallet, I took out an ID and read it.

Guess I’m Alison Paige today.

My eyes scanned the crowd for a face that I wanted to see. There were too many students and I wasn’t even sure where to start looking.

“Al!”

I turned around to see his smile. The dimples that poked his rosy cheeks, his chocolate waves that were ever so unruly, how his green eyes sparkled as they bathed underneath the sunlight. He looked at me with so much happiness that I forgot what sadness is.

“C-Charlie.”

“C’mon, don’t want Mills after our tails again for being late.”

I followed him, still in a daze. I knew he was here but I never thought he would be this close. I didn’t even have to go looking for him; he came to me. Like an eager puppy, I became his tail and followed him to wherever this Mills was.

“Took you long enough.”

A girl with messily chopped up hair approached us and threw an arm around me. Her eyes were the darkest shade of browns, it could be mistaken for black even. She gave me a smirk before pinching my cheek.

“Sorry Mills, just caught this girl here looking lost.” Charlie said, going over to Mills’ side.

So this is Mills. The girl Charlie’s been so into ever since day one.

“Lost? You’ve been coming here since you were like, kinder.” Mills said, snorting “You sure you weren’t hooked up on something last night?”

“W-What? Uhm, no?”

She laughed and ruffled my hair, I frowned. I didn’t like it that she was treating me like a little kid.

“Alright cutie.”

A guy came to us and I saw him wrap his arm around Mills’ waist, my eyes glanced over at Charlie who still had that goofy smile on his lips but it was clear in his eyes that he was uneasy.

I glanced at my imaginary wristwatch before I gently took Charlie’s hand and tugged him “Well, uhm, we’ll be going to our first period now. We’ll see you guys later.”

“See ya cuties!”

I didn’t know where I was headed, didn’t do my research. All I knew was that I didn’t like the look in Charlie’s eyes.

“Where are we going, sweetheart?”

I stopped in my tracks, his deep voice sending chills down my spine “Uhm, to first period?”

“We passed by Trillie’s room minutes ago.”

“Oh.” I say, not knowing who this Trillie is nor where her room was nor did I know what our first period even is.

“You’re just trying to get me away from Bryan, aren’t you?”

A weak laugh left my lips “No…?”

“Al, you’re like a sheet of plastic cover, I can see right through you.”

I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged. He chuckled and shook his head as he pulled me out into the fields.

I bet Alison’s mom and dad weren’t going to like it if they heard their daughter skipped classes.

“What are we doing here?” I asked as I watched him sit down underneath the shade of an old Oak tree.

“Aren’t you going to save this poor lad from a bitter heartache?”

I snorted before I sat down beside him, crossing my legs and leaning back against the trunk of the tree.

“It’s funny though.” He said.

“What is?”

“You weren’t this caring before, it’s like someone possessed you.”

I chuckle nervously, shaking my head “Guess I was an idiot.”

“Duh.”

I turned my head to look at him. He had his eyes closed and he looked, tired.

Why is this Alison so dense?

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and I was greeted with his emerald eyes, their mirth gone.

“You look tired, why? You look better happy.”

He blinked, his mouth opening to speak before he closed it again. And suddenly, I felt something warm against my lips. For the briefest moment that our lips touched, I felt envy. I envied that I’d never get to be Alison again.

“I am tired, Al, thanks for pointing that out.”

“I’m not Al.” I whispered before I leaned in to kiss him again.

I felt his hand reaching up to hold my cheek, feeling his fingers caressing my skin. He held me close and I felt his heart beating, I could taste how bittersweet this is. I heard my own heart beating against my ribcage, echoing.

We pulled back and I stared up at his eyes, they looked back at mine with so much care and adoration.

I wish I could be Alison every day.

“I’m drunk.” I mumbled to him.

“No, you’re not.”

“Sue me.”

He chuckled and he held me close to him, resting his chin on my head “Let’s go to class.”

---

7:00 AM

A sharp pain shot up my spine as I tried to move. Wincing, I looked around and saw I was in a mess of a room. My head was pounding and I felt the urge to vomit. Rushing towards the bathroom, barely even making it, I threw up on the sink. I raised my head up and saw the familiar face of Mills looking back at me.

The ride to school was a blur, literally.

What was she doing last night? I internally screamed, feeling the urge to vomit again.

“Baby.”

Oh no, no, not him.

“Bryan.”

“You okay? You look pale.” He chuckled and leaned closer “Was it because of last night?”

I shook my head and pushed him away, feeling sick. I wanted to go back to being Ali, I hated this body. I hated every inch of it.

“Hey, Mills.” Bryan grabbed my wrist and pulled me back “Where are you going?”

“T-To class?”

“To class? What? Are you kidding me? Dang, was it that strong enough to make you like this?” he looked at me quizzically, his brows furrowed together “Come on, let’s go.”

He started pulling me the opposite direction of the hallways, towards his car and my eyes widened.

“U-Uhm, I’m busy today, Bryan. I can’t come with you.”

His grip only tightened, as if he didn’t hear me. I looked around frantically and saw Charlie.

Our eyes met and he frowned, I mouthed “Help.”

Without hesitation, he jogged over and was in front of Bryan in an instant.

“Woah dude, what are you doing hauling off your girl in the broad daylight?”

I broke free from Bryan’s grip and backed away, Charlie coming to my side in an instant. Bryan eyed the both of us before someone called his attention. He stared for what felt like an eternity before turning back on us and going over to the guy who called him.

“You look terrible.” Charlie said.

“Yeah, I know, thanks. You look great yourself too.”

“Alison.”

“…Alison? What happened?”

He shrugged, his eyes going over to glance at a familiar redhead who was laughing with a group of girls.

She probably doesn’t remember what happened yesterday.

“I’m sorry…?” I said uncertainly, which caused him to look at me with a frown.

“You’re awfully out of character today Mills.”

“Am I?”

He shrugged again and headed off, I followed him, unsure of what to do. We ended up underneath the same Oak tree we went to yesterday. I bit my lip, watching him as he sat down.

“What do you want, Mills?”

“W-What?”

“Every time you and your dude fight, you always come to me. Why?”

I stood there, speechless. I wanted to say that I was the Alison who kissed you, that I was the Yvonne who wiped away your tears that one February night, that I was the Mica who swapped your spiked drink with my own, that I was the Adam who helped you get close to Mills, that I was the Tyler who listened to you rant about your family, that I was the Zia who ended our relationship because I wasn’t committed enough to us and didn’t want you stuck because the Zia who wasn’t me was too selfish, that I was the Xin who told you that you were cute.

That I was a different person every time and I would always go to you, I would always go to you because I loved you the moment I saw you smile and heard you laugh. I would always go to you because you were my paradise and my only hold on sanity because I don’t have anything else but you to keep me going.

“Mills?”

“I-I have to go.”

He rolled his eyes and he shook his head “Fine.”

“I’m not good for you, you shouldn’t be close to me anymore. Stay with Alison.”

“She’s as worse as you.”

I winced, that stung a lot. If only you knew, Charlie, if only you knew.

“I’m sorry.”

I turned around and headed out. It was too suffocating, too suffocating.

I felt like I wasn’t getting enough oxygen, felt too dizzy, felt too overwhelmed.

What am I doing?

“I’m so sorry.”

---

7:00 AM

I sat up, groaning. Stretching, I felt something warm beside me, frowning I shone the light of my phone and my mouth fell as I saw Charlie.

“Charlie?!”

I pushed him away from me, we were fully clothed, thankfully but who was I? What happened?

“Claire, what-?” I heard him groan from the floor where he fell “It’s still too early, come on, let me sleep.”

What’s going on?

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, he looked even more dreadful than he did yesterday.

“Charlie? What’s wrong?”

Looking at me, he chuckled “So now you care?”

I blinked, unsure of what to do. I want to tell him badly, I could see he was getting way too confused and affected by everything that’s happening.

“Charlie.”

“What?”

I love you.

“I’m sorry.”

I love you.

“For what?”

I love you.

“For everything.”

I love you, I’m sorry.

“What are you even talking about?” he asked, frowning as he sat on the bed. I felt the tears falling, I felt my hands shaking. I hate this, I hate myself, this is disgusting.

“H-Hey, Claire, I’m sorry…” he said softly, I still heard the confusion in his voice but that didn’t stop him from pulling me in for a hug.

“It’s always you…” I whisper, closing my eyes as I took in a shaky breath “I’m always finding myself coming back to you.”

He was quiet as I started talking, may as well call me a psycho for telling him who I was before and what I did to him. Would he believe me, I’m not sure, but I don’t want to ruin him.

I finished talking and he was quiet, his hold on me loosened, I couldn’t see his face. I didn’t know what he was thinking, I didn’t know what expression he has on, I didn’t know if I was way too much of an idiot to have let my emotions get the best of me.

And suddenly, he let me go, stood up and walked out of the door.

---

7:00 AM

I woke up, feeling my eyes sting. I didn’t know who I was today. I didn’t want to look. I laid there, staring at the dark. Why is this happening to me? I was so tired of living like this.

Avoiding any mirrors, I knew I was going to be someone from Charlie’s life. This much I knew. Every person I had been, they were all connected to Charlie one way or another.

I was never going to be able to avoid him.

I arrived at school early. There wasn’t much people around yet. Unconsciously, my feet took me towards the same Oak tree in the fields. I sat down and leaned back, closing my eyes and sighing.

Who knows how long time passed until someone tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see two green eyes looking at me, eyes that were full of concern, full of tiredness.

“Uhm, by any chance, were you Claire, Mills, Alison and a lot more in the past?”

I blinked, staring at him.

“Right, sorry, I’ll just-“

“Charlie.”

He looked at me, his eyes suddenly filled with, dare I say, hope.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

Emotions ran through his face but I was able to catch every single one of it. Relief, confusion, sadness, and a little bit of anger.

“It’s you.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name?”

I proceeded to take out my wallet to check an ID but I felt his hand stopping mine. I looked up and he shook his head.

“Your name.”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you…a girl or a guy?”

“I don’t know. Would it be weird if I was a guy?”

He chuckled, “I don’t know.”

I shrugged “I don’t know anything about me besides who I am today.”

“So…every day you…change into someone else?”

“Yeah, I noticed they’re all someone who’s connected to you. Who is this girl I’m in today?”

“She’s Eva, Secretary of the school council, someone I only talk to whenever school stuff is involved.”

“I see.”

“Avery.”

I looked at him, frowning in confusion “Avery?”

“Your name, Avery. I’ll call you Avery. You change every day and yeah, you get it.”

A laugh left my lips “It’s weird, I don’t ever remember being given a name.”

“Well, you’re my Avery now.”

---

7:00 AM

I wake up and felt a smile on my face. Avery. Avery.

My name is Avery.

The days pass and Charlie only meant more and more for me. He was everything. He was my ground, he kept me steady, unwavering.

But I know this can’t last.

“Charlie?”

“Hmm?”

“This girl’s family is very loving.”

“Mhhmm.”

“She’s really cute too.”

“Hmmm.”

“Her name is Avery as well.”

He looked at me, eyes showing confusion. I gave him a pained smile as I held his cheek, caressing it.

“Charlie…”

“I don’t like that tone Ave…”

“Charlie, you know we can’t keep on going like this…”

He sat up from lying down on my lap, shaking his head “But I’m fine.”

“I’m not.” I whispered “I love you Charlie but I can’t stand hearing what they say about you just because they’ve seen you going out with different men and women every day. I can’t.”

“Ave…”

“So, listen to me, okay? I’ll make sure that this Avery remembers you. I’ll give her every memory of us. I’ll give her all of my love for you. I’ll let her be your Avery. I don’t know how, but I will make it work. Be with her, okay?”

I felt him pulling me close, felt him burying his head on my shoulder, felt his heavy breaths and trembling hands.

My hands reached up to embrace him and we stayed like that for awhile, quiet, holding each other, trying. Eventually, he pulled back and he cupped my face, leaning in to give me a soft kiss that was terribly, painfully, bittersweet.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you more, Charlie.”

“Stay with me.”

I gave him a nod, and the weakest of all weak smiles.

“I’m here.”

Night crept upon us and I was cocooned in Charlie’s embrace. I felt his fingers stroking my hair, his chin resting on top of my head.

“I won’t go looking for you, Charlie.”

He was silent.

“But please, remember this.” I removed his hold as I turn around to face him. I brushed back his bangs so I could look at him face to face.

“Even if I live a thousand lives, my heart will always be yours, intertwined, never faltering, infinite.” I gave him a smile as I leaned up to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“Because every day, I love you.”

---

??? AM

I open my eyes and sit up.

Everything was bright.                                                                  

I wasn’t in a room, I don’t know where I was but I felt peace for the first time.

There wasn’t anyone in sight but I heard a voice.

“Do you wish to go back to being Avery?”

Smiling, I shake my head.

“I’m happy now.”

end

[considerdaydreaming]

Update

February 16th 2021.

First of all, I usually start with the time so it’s 22:18. Second, i still cannot beleive we are still in a pandemic.

It’s crazy because i looked back a bit and i saw about when I posted that it had been 46 days since the beginning of this mess and now it’s about to be a year since COVID hit in a couple weeks. I think we are trending in a good direction now because of the vaccine but it’s been a rollercoaster ride with good news one week then bad news the next, so I’m not holding my breath this time.

Anyways, back to the juicy stuff, of course your girl’s love life. I just wanted to take a moment to be honest with myself since it’s been a while since I took the time to sit down and really think about everything. So, here I go. Here is a real and true update from the oast year or so. Here is my story.

//// TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT ////

So I met this guy at my work that I REALLY was not interested in. I did not find him attractive and I was not emotionally available since my ex was a prick and he fucked me up big time. Anyways a colleague of mines had mentioned him to me a couple times but I had brushed it off because, once again, I was not interested. Anyways one day, another (different) colleague of mines and I were having a conversation and then he was on the other side of our cubicle and started asking us about our nationalities and we told him to guess and made a whole game about it. It was fun, not going to lie. So from there we started talking and we were just friends. This went on for a couple months or so until he started coming to see me everyday at my desk and I was like oh fuck oh no this guy is catching feels, you know? But i wasnt sure so i just continued to be chill because he was a chill guy but i just wasnt into relationships at that point in my life.

Anyways, the day rolls around where he finally asks me on a date and i was like nah fam im not down and i dont date my coworkers (BIG NO NO IN MY BOOK). So he was dissapointed but i knew he was not going to give up. But he was a chill guy so i didnt want to be a bitch to him just because i was broken. So I told him that i didnt know him well enough, which was true and maybe if i did then i would reconsider. So he really started putting more effort at that point, I think. I just remember seeing him more and more at work and i remember he used to put on so much perfume it would make me nauseous 😭😭😭 i was low key getting annoyed! But he was a nice guy and i didn’t get any creepy vibes from him and not gonna lie, there were a couple other guys that i was flirting with at the office and i kinda liked all of them for different reasons 😅 but i wasnt hiding anything from anyone and i was always honest so they low key knew what was up 😆 ANYWAYS i wasn’t shutting him down completely for some reason because there was just something about him that made me feel some type of way. You could say that I wanted to keep him in my arsenal 😂 anywho, i forgot what happened but i think one day i just said fuck it and i decided to accept his request to go on a date. The date itself went great and we talked a lot. We spoke about everything and nothing and we had a good time, even though we had a lot of differences, we also had the same point of view on a lot of things. At the end, i dropped him at the metro and tell me how this guy forced a kiss on me???? (That’s sexual assault no matter what you say, just to be clear) so after he kissed me he left and i was shook and i felt disgusted to be honest. I was shook because the date went so well up until that moment . Like that date wouldve been the best i had ever went on until that moment. I was devastated. Anyways I still did not cut him off, but I was very close. I think i was supposed to text him but i just didnt. I might’ve had another date that time as well or something, that period is a bit of a blur now. BUT i remember that i had to shake it off for some reason, so i did. The next time I saw him, i told him it was a no for me for all the reasons which were in the differences we had discussed and that he just didn’t fit the profile. I didn’t mention that what he did was very instrusive and assault because i didn’t want to have that conversation, it was just too much. So he was pretty defensive about that part and i figured he would just take the hit and move on. It took a while and then he finally did. We didnt speak for like 6 or 7 months and then we changed office locations and then on top of that, the pandemic hit so we were all sent to work from home and etc, etc. At some point, in Quebec, everything opened up a bit for the summer and so things were very briefly “back to normal” so we were allowed to return to the office on some days or some shit like that i dont remember .

We found ourselves in the office and we just so happened to cross paths again and he started to talk to me again and he told me to text him to continue the conversation because his break was done because he has been thinking about me and blah blah blah and i thought i had deleted his number, but it turns out i didnt but anyways the conversation we had following him thinking i deleted his number really made me laugh and it made me want to talk to him more. So Around may 2020 he reached out and we started to talk again and then he asked me out on a walk to talk some more. So i went and he was really adamant about finding out what went wrong between us because apparently this is something he was losing sleep over 😂 (now that i know him well enough i realize he is just dramatic 😂) so i told him what was up and how he sexually assaulted me by forcing himself on me by kissing me without my consent and when i tell you he was shook! We spoke about it some more and i explained to him how i felt and he explained to me how he felt and he apologized and when i saw his genuine regret, i knew that he was a good guy and i forgave him. He had a lot of explaining to do and a lot to do to make up for what he did. He did just that. We went on ther dates and spoke and got to know each other more and eventually we began dating.

Now that’s my boo bear and i know that this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly, he just daydreams a lot and sometimes he creates scenarios in his head that are not at all what reality is (pisces rising) 😂 a sensitive dreamer, although he will never admit it!

Anyways all this story to say that I really fell in love with this guy and im shooketh. Like I’m picturing spending the rest of my life with with and im seeing myself marrying him and having his kids????? After 7 months?????!!! Like that’s wild! Is it because of the saviour conplex? I dont know but he’s special that’s for sure. I’ve never been loved the way he loves me and I’ve never been treated the way he treats me. I never have to ask for something twice. Even if he doesn’t want to do it, he will do it for me. He deals with my moodiness and puts me in my place when I’m being disrespectful. He isn’t afraid to tell me like it is and tell me when im wrong. Like he is really everything i wanted. I think i can trust him but im still recovering and working on that and he knows and doesn’t judge me or rush me. He is just always there, like my anchor, like my home base. He gives me the time and space i need and he is always there when i need him close. Always waiting and always trying to understand me rather than attack or criticize me. I love him, i love him, i love him. Sometimes, i wonder if i really deserve this type of love. Sometimes when i say things i don’t mean, he hugs me and gives me love instead of raising his hand or yelling or breaking things, which i realize , i had normalized in past relationships. The way he loves me is pure and genuine and i feel so comfortable around him, as if I knew him in another life. I was really broken when i met him and i honestly feel like he found some of the pieces that i was missing and helped me glue them back together. I really thought i had lost those pieces for good but they just needed to be found again by anither pair of eyes. Dont get it twisted though, i did most of the picking up and gluing but the found some really important pieces, not gonna lie.

All this to say that i healed, I thought about myself and got to know myself then i found a true and genuine love that is so different from what i have ever experienced and im here for it. I dont know what else is to come, but maybe the next time I write, i might just be wife 😌

Until next time,

Jo

[mayamatiln]

what are you favorite top degrassi seasons?

This question is so difficult!! I’m serious I spent an hour writing down all the seasons and weighing all the pro’s and con’s of each season to figure out the order I would put these in. I know you didn’t ask me to rank all the seasons and tell you why I think that… but I am… because I feel like it… so let’s move from the worst to the best shall we?

18. Season 11 - I hated it the first time I watched it. I hated it the second time I watched it. I don’t plan on sitting through the whole thing ever again. I loved the introduction of Zaya and that is about it. I didn’t ship anything. This was the season that made me stop shipping Eclare which I literally used to OTP so hard. 

17. Season 13 - This was the only season that I ever completely stopped watching because I was so bored. I was still nursing my heartbreak over losing Cam and then all of a sudden they ripped Adam from me too. After that I tried to keep up but I just didn’t really care because it hurt too much. Maya was moving on with Miles (which I still don’t get the appeal) and Zig was all but forgotten up until halfway through. The Paris plot was so stupid. And Alli one of my favorite girls was being uncharacteristically dumb (and she’s not very bright as it is). And to top it all off they gave Clare cancer for about 10 episodes then all of a sudden she was better! (I’m not even gonna mention Ew… I mean Clew) Lol no. Bye.

16. Season 14 - 14B just swooped in and saved the entire show for me. After the longest hiatus the show has ever had and about a year and a half after me only watching this show when I noticed it was on, the promise of seeing Alli Bhandari and Clare Edwards graduating was just enough to pull me back in. So before 14B I binge-watched season 13 and the first half of 14 (because I didnt really pay attention the first time) and BOY IT CHANGED MY LIFE. Not because the storylines were good but BECAUSE. OF. ZAYA. Never in my life had I gone from hating a ship (yeah yeah Zig was trying to break up Camaya so I hated him) to thinking it was the most well built pairing on the show. The rest of 14 was crap though. Zoe forcing people to send boob pics = dumb. Clare’s baby plot = dumber. So yeah I fell in love with Degrassi again because of Zaya and it’s probably the reason I’m here today. 

15. Season 1 - Shocked to find what started it all so low on the list? Yeah me too but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Overall not much happened this season. It built the world that we left behind in Degrassi High over again and introduced us to the new generation and thats about it. But Sean and Emma’s first date, Emma’s first period, and the ecstasy plot = CLASSIC DEGRASSI. 

14. Season 8 - No one is surprised. Honestly though I LOVEEE this era of Degrassi. This was the first season I watched from beginning to end as it was airing so it will always hold a special place in my heart. Not only did I instantly love Alli and Clare to bits, but finally my all time favorite character Johnny DiMarco had an actual girlfriend and showed that he actually has real feelings. WOW. 

13. Season 9 - Yeah this is only a step up from season 8 because it was the epitome of Dolly J. The chemistry was through the roof. One of the hottest couples Degrassi has ever had. Plus this season had MORE JOHNNY so yeah I loved it but not a huge amount of hot topics were covered. 

12. DNC Season 2 - It covered hot topics but it didn’t really have that spark. I think since it was made at the same time as DNC season 1 that they put so much effort into making the first half great so it could attract more people but yeah it was a bummer. Honestly the only reason it’s above s8&9 is because of the reunion episode and the Craig Manning appearance… I appreciate them attempting the Black Lives Matter plot but it didn’t get me in the gut. I much preferred the Connor and Dallas racism plot in season 13 even if it wasn’t fully fleshed out.

11. Season 10 - This was when Degrassi reinvented itself for the first time and I must say it had me hooked from the beginning. This was when they started airing an episode a day for several weeks and it was so exciting. Everyone was falling for Eclare. And Adam was stealing everyone’s heart. It was so exciting and different and really a breath of fresh air. Were the plots amazing and jaw dropping? No not really but it kept me super entertained and frankly saved the show and I will gladly give the credit where credit is due. But seriously… Eli was better when he was with Morty just sayin…

10. DNC Season 1 - This was the second time that Degrassi reinvented itself and it was MUCH better done than season 10 was. After being so scared of losing the show altogether, seeing the beginning of Next Class really gave me hope. The cast was smaller and so were the lengths of the seasons but they worked so much harder to really make all the plots count and make every minute of screentime the best it could possibly be. After 4 seasons of really long seasons full of random plots that didnt always make the most sense, watching this season felt like coming home to the Degrassi that I fell in love with because for the first time in a long time they really cared about making EVERY plot the best it could possibly be. They still had a couple of kinks and issues to work out but this season really felt like it “went there” again.

9. Season 5 - The first time ever watching the characters you’ve grown up with graduate from Degrassi is one of the hardest things. DTNG’s 100th episode and S5 finale, High Fidelity will still make me cry at the drop of a hat. Watching Paige, Ellie, Marco, and Hazel graduate and thinking that you’ll never see them again still hurts me so much. And the scene where Jimmy forgives Spinner - SO MANY TEARS. Also this season gave us the iconic Manny line “You can sell this for a million dollars because I’m gonna be famous.” Also Darcy and Spinner’s Christianity plot still hold such a special place in my heart.

8. Season 6 - This season was a rollercoaster. One minute I’m flipping out over Sean and Emma being back together then the most heartbreaking TV death in the history of TV ripped my heart out. To this day I cannot watch Rock This Town without bawling my eyes out. I mourned for JT as if I had grown up with him myself. No other fictional character has ever made me feel emotions that were THAT REAL before. As sad as it was it was the moment that sealed Degrassi as my favorite show of all time and even though it’s been 9 years nothing else has even come close. 

7. Season 7 - Probably the darkest season the show has ever had. It began with Darcy’s rape and then followed her entire journey throughout the whole semester. On top of that we see Spinner reach the darkest place he has ever been when he gets cancer. And boy this season was just so sad. Especially with the addition of all the Lakehurst kids who we’d eventually learn to love like Holly J, Jane, Sav and Anya. On top of that we get to see Emma, Manny, Liberty, Toby, Spinner, and Jimmy graduate which really was a LONG time coming. These were the people who began the show and now that they were leaving it truly was the end of the Golden Era of Degrassi. 

6. Season 4 - This was the season that showed how dark the show could really get and it ultimately proved that Degrassi would “go there.” The fact that still to this day one of the most well known pieces of information about Degrassi is that Jimmy got shot by Rick truly iconic. It’s impossible for me to watch Time Stands Still without getting chills. Also this season featured Kevin Smith and who doesn’t love Kevin Smith.

(to be fair these top 5 are all pretty equal in my eyes and the order in which they come changes frequently)

5. DNC Season 3 - The first thing to note about this season is that it was released at 2am in the morning and I stayed up all night and watched the sunrise because I simply had to finish it all in one sitting. After s14 I was sure that the days of Degrassi’s fantastic seasons were through with and when Next Class began I thought there may be potential but this season went above and beyond all of my expectations. For one MAYA MATLIN. I cannot sing enough praises to the writers for treating her depression and suicide attempt in such a realistic way. And Lola’s abortion plot was the best one they have ever done and was handled in the most beautiful way. This season truly was the darkest season since season 7 and everything about it was So. On. Point.

4. Season 3 - Some of the best and most iconic episodes are from this season and they are the ones that time and time again I find myself rewatching because they never get old. Father Figure, Pride, Holiday, Accidents Will Happen, Take On Me, and Rock & Roll High School all have a solid place on my favorite episodes ever list. This season helped to build Degrassi into the longstanding and iconic show that it has become. During this season we no longer had to introduce characters and get used to them. By now we knew most of our main cast and they instantly felt like family - a concept that is the single most important reason why Degrassi is my favorite show ever.

3. DNC Season 4 - Even though it just came out, I could not imagine putting it any lower on this list. This season accomplished everything I could have possibly wanted and more. The genderfluid plot was so well done and it is something I’ve wanted the show to cover for years. And it tackled terrorism and Islamophobia. Not to mention that this season bid adieu to possibly my favorite graduating class that the show has ever had. It gave each and every one of them the respect and closure that they deserved while not granting any unrealistic and too good to be true endgames (*cough* Eclare). The season focused on the characters themselves and not just their romantic relationships and it really solidified who they have become as people and how much they have grown. And best of all it opened the door for a newer class to come in and keep the show going strong.

2. Season 12 - Wow this season came out of nowhere. In the midst of 2 of the worst seasons Degrassi has ever had was this gem. What made it stand out is that for once the writers went into the season with a plan of where they were going and where they wanted the characters to end up. The entire season was building to Cam’s suicide and how all the characters would be affected by it. Therefore this season had more direction and meaning that many seasons before it were severely lacking. Not only was the over arching plot of this season fantastic, the smaller pieces of it were as well. I was so invested in Campbell Saunders from the moment he showed up on my screen. His relationship with Maya became one of my favorites the show has ever done and it also made me love Maya as a character. This season was also the epitome of Eclare’s relationship for me. They were healthy and in love and finally on the same page (well until Bitter Sweet Symphony). We also had fantastic ships like Fimogen, Drianca, Jatie, Jonnor, and the beginnings of Bhandallas to pass the time. And another one of my favorite Christianity plots featuring Jenna took place in this season. This season’s success caught me by complete surprised and drew me in when I was beginning to not care about the show anymore. More specifically Campbell Saunders and Dylan Everrett’s acting saved Degrassi for me. Without that character I don’t know if I would still be watching the show. His character made me believe that Degrassi still had the ability to make me feel these emotions that other TV shows can’t and therefore this season holds such a special place in my heart. 

1. Season 2 - The first time I watched it I did not realize that this would be my favorite season ever. Because to me this season is the Degrassi essentials. It is the bare bones of what makes this show great in every way. Craig’s introduction in When Doves Cry will forever be the greatest introduction to a character I’ve ever seen. It’s so rare to meet a new character and become so drawn in and attached in a single hour that it blew me away. Degrassi introducing Craig as a new character in the season premiere and showing him having an abusive parent was absolutely heartbreaking. To be honest the first time I watched it I didnt understand. I was too young to fully grasp the magnitude of how important this episode was but it was. Moving forward, this season also went on to introduce Marco and Ellie and cover Paige’s rape which was the first time Degrassi truly “went there.” Another personal unsung favorite of mine is Don’t Believe The Hype that shows Hazel’s struggle to accept her heritage and it’s the first plot covering Islamophobia. And how could I possibly not mention one of the most iconic episodes to date, White Wedding that features Spike and Snake getting married with most of their old Degrassi High friends in attendance. This episode also features the cutest most adorable first kiss between Sean and Emma that stole my heart in season 1 but gained OTP status by season 2. In essence, season 2 is the heart of Degrassi.

[sh-lan]

i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also…gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!