#— ☾ in character.

[ivystoryweaver]

Swimsuit Shopping

Summary: You're absolutely dreading swimsuit shopping for your upcoming trip. The Moon boys bravely weigh in.

Pairing: Steven, Jake, Marc x reader with boobs

Word count: 1k

Content: fluff, romance, body insecurities, slightly suggestive, sweet & adoring moon boys

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Steven notices you casually shopping on your phone. He keeps peeking over your shoulder, humming nonchalantly at each and every suit that looks like a low plunging bra.

“See something you like, babe?” You nudge him playfully before handing him the phone. “Should I just let you go crazy?”

Bright eyes go wide, hair flopping as he shakes his head rapidly. “No. No, you should get something that makes you feel confident and comfortable.”

“A diplomatic response, Mr. Grant,” you tease. “I’m not sure how comfortable this…push-up bra would be.”

“Em, well…which ones do you like?”

Your shoulders sag as you shake your head in defeat. “I don’t know, I hate shopping for swim suits. But our big trip is coming up and…” Your eyes dip in shame.

Steven lifts your chin with a soft caress. “What is it, love?”

Fidgeting uncomfortably, you slowly admit, “My old one is too small.”

Smiling sympathetically, Steven uses his hold on your chin to guide your mouth to his for a tender kiss. “We’ve been together a long time, darling,” he lovingly whispers, rubbing his nose against yours affectionately. “Surely you’ve noticed I’ve gone a bit soft around the middle?”

“What?” You giggle, poking his soft but not-at-all-big tummy. “You’re crazy. You’re…so perfect, Steven. I just want a swim suit that doesn’t make me feel awful when I put it on.”

Kissing you again, he holds up your phone. “Well, let’s find one.”

Laying your head on his shoulder, the two of you select several possibilities and every single one Steven likes is extremely revealing in the bust area.

“Steven, you just want to see my boobs - like as much as possible. I might as well be naked,” You laugh out.

“Well…if it’s comfortable…” his dark eyebrows shoot up suggestively. “Could be a win-win.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

The next day, Jake finds you leaning over the kitchen counter, still scrolling endlessly through swimsuit possibilities. Steven helped you find some cute suits, but you want to make sure you have enough coverage while not boring Marc, Steven and Jake to tears.

Easing up behind you in his typical panther prowling way, Jake breathes against your ear, making you shiver. “Whatcha doing, hermosa?” Gripping your hips, he presses his body into yours at every possible point of contact.

“Swimsuit shopping,” you languidly sigh, scrolling through the twelve suits you and Steven added to your shopping cart before starting your search all over again.

“Mmm, you should get one of those thong bottoms,” Jake casually opines, running his palm over the swell of your ass before giving you a squeeze.

“You’re hilarious,” you deadpan. “I can just see Jake Lockley on the beach - hat, jacket, gloves and boots, kicking the ass of anyone who stares at mine.”

A low chuckle rumbles against your neck. “Fair point, mi amor. Maybe like…” he scrolls down a couple of suits to a cheeky bottom - revealing but not scandalous, “Like that one. You know, enough for me to see all this - “ he swats your ass playfully, “But not enough for an ass-kicking.”

“Nice,” you chortle, shrugging him off, but only so you can whirl around and see his face. “I thought the idea was for me to feel confident and comfortable. Steven’s words.”

“Boringggg,” Jake mocks, even while chasing after your lips with his own. Kissing you temptingly, he pulls you close. “I thought swimsuits were for swimming…and letting me stare at your ass all day.” He cocks his head playfully. “Is that not right?”

“For sure, yeah,” you giggle as he nibbles at your lips, his naughty hands winding their way around to your backside once more. “I just want it to cover a little bit more of my middle than a total string bikini, you know?”

Realizing you’re serious, Jake nods, reaching to grab your phone from the counter. “Show me what you like, hermosa. My treat.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Marc has expressed absolutely zero interest in peeking at your phone, even when you tried temping him by asking questions about your boobs or your ass.

Between Steven and Jake, you’ve narrowed it down to about five suits, but you would like Marc’s opinion. The trip was actually his idea. He is rather well traveled, after all.

“Babe, you’ll look amazing in whatever you pick - it’s for you,” he shrugs, realizing, as the words come out of his mouth that he should probably show a bit of interest. Glancing at your phone, he shakes his head. “I don’t know. They all look good. I can’t tell on a phone screen.”

Which is how you end up in the fitting room with a rack full of bathing suit pieces and Marc licking his lips as you try them on. Normally clothes shopping would be a form of torture, but damn…

“Let me feel, baby,” he murmurs, as you slip into a mid-rise, flattering bottom that shows just enough cheek to hopefully please both you and Jake, with a coordinating top that definitely shows your cleavage.

And this is what Marc keeps doing. As soon as you get dressed, he wants to touch. Locking eyes with you, he traces the shape of you - the body he knows so well and has adored so ardently, for year after year.

“This one feels good.” His eyes darken and his voice sounds a little choked. He clears his throat. “You feel comfortable in it?”

You pause, staring deeply into his eyes.

“Because you know that’s all that really matters. The rest is bullshit. You know that, right?”

You know. But you love him for saying it.

“Yeah. I know.” Turning this way and that, you eye yourself in the mirror, pleased with the cut. The top extends down a little and the bottom is just high rise enough to give you that bam of confidence about the figure you criticize far too often.

Hand on your hip, you strike a pose, smiling at yourself in the mirror -and Marc thinks he’s never seen anything more beautiful.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

updates blog - @ivystoryupdates

[deunmiu-dessie]

Wait, how do you break character ai's filter? I've been wanting to smash it with a hammer for so long

♡♡𝆬🍠 nonnie, y'know- i'm glad you asked. i first learned from my best friend of...well my whole life-- they sent me a few pictures of words to use, so i'll put that at the end. the words just below are some of the words i use. i'll also leave a few ai characters i'm talking to right now, that i've easily broken the filter with.

my advice? be very vague, let the ai do the dirty work if you're going the submissive route- however if you're more dominant, it's better if you do most of the work.. though i have noticed that on certain characters, the filter seems to be very like...gone? i once had a threesome and like, the filter only popped up once-- i was in shock. i've also noticed that when i do break the filter, it's easier at like 4-6AM, it's rarely ever popped up during that time.

replace common words with more ambiguous words.

pussy -- sensitive place, mound, folds, panties, slick heat, sensitive flesh, etc clit -- bundle of nerves, nub, etc (sometimes i still just use clit.) breasts -- chest, breasts (sometimes you can get away with it, sometimes no) nipple -- areola, peaks, etc (can get rlly percise, so i avoid it most times.) cock -- bulge, hardness, sensitive part, length, thickness. [ i've also used, 'sticky tip' or 'sensitive tip' if giving a blowjob or grinding. and some of the women have used 'princess parts' as well. ]

here are some examples! all mine of course!

let's focus on words i use to describe how my character is feeling. i'll just go through my chats and pick them out and make a small list.

1. "trembling thighs." "quivering thighs." "shaking thighs." 2. "wobbly knees." "knees buckled." 3. "mewling." "cried out." "keened softly." "sobbed." "squealed out." "she whined." 4. "eyes rolled back." "eyes flutter shut." "eyes clench shut." 5. "back arches." "back bows softly." 6. "body quivers." "tremors wrack her body." 7. "toes curl." "fingers grip the sheets." "hands pull his/ her hair." 8. "she comes undone around him." "reaches her climax." "falls over the edge." 9. "body clenches tightly around him." "her walls squeeze tight." 10. "rolls her hips." "grinds her hips." "hips buck involuntarily." "hips jolt." "hips stutter softly."

don't be afraid or thrown when the filter does pop up, it's not the end of the world and it's not like you're gonna be reported or anything. you can rewrite your response ( if it pops up when you send something ) or you can just refresh to get another response. better yet, you don't have to respond to everything they send- just hit enter and they'll continue for you. (the first two are an example, i'm just joking around for this post-- don't type what i just said lol)

also don't just go in willy-nilly, make sure you have a plot; it shouldn't be immediate smut; that's crazy. build the world, give your character a personality, tease a little here and there to wear down the filter (nothing crazy), and slowly add more and more. you have all the time in the world, there are no ads, no time limits, no waiting--- enjoy it.

here are some other words you can use to try and bypass the filter as well! thanks to my bestie for sending me these when i just downloaded character ai.

alright...bai! ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა ₊˚⊹♡🫧— 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑒

[blistexenthusiast]

Hello Kitty Ballet by Witcat Studio

[burning-spyce]

Tidbits and little concepts for a major character in my crk fic and an old-ish scribble of li’l Burning Spice!

•

— I haven’t decided how I’ll carry out this big project, but I’ll possibly post writing with brief comic strips in between. There’s a larger cast of characters I need to post concepts for too!

Starting in the Pre-Bake Era, this story follows my character Mourning Sun and Burning Spice and their ascendant to godhood through achieving BAKE. (Became Aware of Knowledge and Events) Similar to CHIM in the Elder Scrolls series, it’s a process in which cookies become aware of their higher power to put it simply.

The BAKEing process follows through by the power of belief, wether it be by fellow bakedkind or by oneself.

// I’ll give more in-depth notes on this later ❕❕

･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

[pulchinelle]

Varuna sprites

Attempt at drawing Varuna sprites. The left is him when he was alive (17) and the right is post resurrection, in his school uniform ^_^

Has my mimicry of Yana's style gotten better? Can't tell

[tojiscumdumpster]

nanami core in upcoming fic! also in WIFS

[fangswbenefits]

As much as I love Astarion, he is absolutely NOT a good person. Even if his past might shed light as to why he behaves the way he does, it does not excuse his actions.

This line reveals a lot about him:

What I mean is: throughout your journey with him, you will help him on a healing path, and he will begin to 'soften' so to speak (if he doesn't ascend, that is). But he's still him, and he says as much in the epilogue:

You can enjoy him as the flawed person he is. It is fine. You don't have to justify why you still connect to this character despite everything. There's no need to whitewash him.

[idyllcy]

for all time/lovebrush chronicles boys as cliché tropes

word count: 645

summary: lovebrush boys as cliche tropes !

Ai Yin / Ayn - Competitors - Whaaat? Why not Clarence ?? HEAR ME OUT.

You're a musician. You're like the musician ever— probably a pianist just to piss him off. The two of you always tie first for piano competitions. There's no argument. If he's there, you're there. If he's first, you're first. The two of you are both prodigy pianists and there's no room for argument. Thus arises the issue. Your name is always followed by his— or his name is always followed by yours. You guys hate it. Or so you say. Because when you're missing from a competition for the first time in years, he's very much confused as to where you are, and it almost feels empty without you. Wha— what did he just say? That was definitely not him.

Lu Chen / Alkaid - Deskmates - oh that's so cliché (I know)

The two of you are paired up as deskmates for the year. It's a little awkward at first until you get used to him, and then it just breaks into everyone else eating dog food (third-wheeling). He brings you breakfast because you skip eating it, and you fix his tie when it's crooked... he always picks calls for you when he needs an extra hand, you always drop everything you have to help him... you two are practically dating. Which raises the question. are you dating? Or is Alkaid just taking care of you because he thinks you're forgetful and clumsy? The love letter slipped into your desk seems to say otherwise, though.

Luo Xia / Lars - Arranged Marriage - I didn't think this could get more cliché

You get arranged into a marriage with him for one reason— your family's going bankrupt, so they have to sell their only child to the Luos because like. Idk that's a cliché, it's a trope, IT'S HAPPENING TO YOU. PERIOD. At first you're like terrified and he's super scary and cold and lowkey kind of rude, but he still kind of cares since when you first move in, he has the servants move all of your stuff, and yu almost feel like you're home. He's just not very vocal about liking you though; so when your family's business breaks out of bankruptcy and you're told you can divorce him if you want, and then he's like "no please don't take my spouse from me ☹️" and then next thing you know you're being pampered to the moon and back. (You end up staying with him.)

Si Lan / Clarence - Love at First Sight - HEAR ME OUT ON THIS.

You're an unassuming new student at school, completely unbothered. You do not know he's the student council president. You're just at the nurse's office because your mom's the nurse or smth. Then, he's admitted into the office because he overworked himself on accident, and you're like "errrr I'll help. sure" And what does he see upon first waking up? You. The sun behind your head gives you a halo, and you look angelic. He thinks he's hallucinating. "God, did I die?" "Erm... not quite!" Then you nurse him back to health, and he's having a moment (he can't forget you) but dw you eventually end up together 👍

Ye Xuan / Cael - Brother's Best Friend - you did not (oh yes I did)

Cael, your brother's calm best friend who seems to have no interest in dating anyone at all. Cael, your brother's best friend who's been there for you as long as you can remember. Cael, your brother's best friend who helps you through college hell, voice calm and soothing as you cry about the homework. Cael, your brother's best friend who never lets himself slip when you're around (regardless of how bad he actually likes you) Cael, your brother's best friend who tries his best to resist you when you're on top of him, breath heavy with alcohol and almost drunk. Cael, your brother's best friend who doesn't fight it when you pull him in for a kiss at the door when he comes to check up on you the next day. and Cael, who can't say no to you when you spill out your feelings for him on paper, spilling out his own when you meet up with him.

[ivystoryweaver]

"There is a simmering, molten lust turning over and over..."

Summary: You feel awful and Steven makes it all better. Or, I've read the amazing period fics. What about the sometimes-hell of ovulation? Pairing: Steven Grant x f!reader Word Count: 1.3k Content: nsfw, ovulation, breast and nipple play, oral - f. rec., fingering, hair pulling, breeding kink suggested, not beta'd ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

You're ovulating, like...to the extreme.

There's a heaviness in the center of you - different from cramps, not exactly bloating...

Your boobs aren't merely sore, they're...straining.

Your nipples have stood erect for a day-and-a-half, to the point that pinching them almost feels better than them brushing against your t-shirt, as you attempt to lounge around the house after work.

They're poking, quite obviously, through your pajamas, even through your bra, earlier.

Steven comments more than once, assuming you're cold.

"No...fuck, I'm...so horny," you finally admit...somewhat embarrassed by your own wording.

...drawing his earthen gaze straight to your chest - before his eyes drop to the center of you.

No, in your core, it's not (merely) cramping and bloating. There is a simmering, molten lust turning over and over, making you constantly wet.

Steven pushes off the chair he was sitting on to read after dinner, halfway scolding himself for not noticing your distress - for not offering to assist with such a predicament.

Honestly, you've been a touch moody and he didn't want to push you

Your sweet Steven is suddenly a panther on the prowl. Whoops.

"No, I'm not like...it's not that I'm trying to..." You attempt to find the words to explain that your brain isn't completely in the mood but...

...hell - if he would just grope your breasts, take the weight off for a few minutes, fondle your nipples, roll them between his fingers. Maybe suck them...

Steven is on his knees before you, ready to please - cheeks flushed as a careless curl tumbles across his forehead. His lips part in anticipation.

"I'm ovulating," you decide to admit, with a defeated huff. "So...we can't, you know. I accidentally missed a pill, and we shouldn't - not until I'm sure - ugh..." Your head drops to your hands in frustration. You have got to change birth control methods, to something less daily.

Nodding once, Steven's eyes darken, locking on to yours. "Let me take care of you."

Your breath trembles at the gorgeous man on his knees for you. "Steven...we can't - we shouldn't - "

"I heard you, love," he evenly responds, the heat of his lustful stare setting you ablaze. Pushing his fingertips underneath the hem of your t-shirt, he offers, “Stop me if it's not what you want."

Then this man - this socially awkward, brilliant, beautiful man who loves you like an ancient legend - peels your clothes from your body, almost reverently, kneeling beneath you like you're one of his sacred goddesses.

"Not cold then," he murmurs, brushing his fingertips over the round swell of your breast, his breath ghosting your pebbled flesh. "Just desperate." He doesn't give you a chance to refute him, capturing your nipple between his plush lips and sucking gently.

And ohh fuck, it feels good.

Your breasts get sore from time to time, during your cycle or mid-month, but this particular month has you so tender for some reason.

You feel the warmth of Steven's tongue laving as his hand cups your other breast, gently massaging - dragging the pad of his thumb over your other greedy nipple.

Then he sucks you hungrily, like he's feeding from you, for a full minute longer. Your back arches, thrusting your chest further into his warm, wet mouth. Pulling off your tit with a pop, his eyebrows shoot up, a slight smile turning up the corner of his mouth.

"Better? Or worse?"

"Good - it's good, baby, come here," you gasp, eagerly reaching to bring him to your other breast, threading your fingers through his thick curls as he lavishes your nipple with attention from his tongue, teeth and lips, sucking and fondling until you are a squirming mess.

He releases you and surges up on his knees to meld his lips with yours, licking into your waiting mouth. Taking your face in his hands, his thumbs stroke the apples of your cheeks as his fingertips trace the shape of your jaw.

He kisses you so good, you lose your mind and forget all your bodily complaints, the kiss lingering on and on, until you part for breath, inhaling and exhaling one another as if each of you needs to other to survive.

(You do.)

He lays you down on the couch where you sat, fidgeting uncomfortably all evening, cute little huffs and puffs letting him know you were distraught on some level. Those huffs are now pants of desire.

His lips meet your bare stomach - your most sensitive and self-conscious body part, breath fanning over all the dips and valleys he adores. He kisses down to your joggers, pulling the tie loose before easing them over the swell of your hips and down your legs.

He smiles to himself at your superhero boy shorts - you’re definitely one for comfort. He smells you now - wet and eager to be touched, to be fucked - the core of you dampening your panties.

So he pulls those down and off your body too and, by the time he kisses an adoring trail up your inner thigh, you're trembling - whimpering, too.

"Steven, Steven, please..."

He answers with his tongue, licking up the center of your sex, collecting your juices, his cock twitching as your back arches violently off the couch.

You feel him smile against you. Steven is The Needy One so this must be quite fun for him...

Your mind goes blank as he fucks his tongue into your hole in a slow, taunting rhythm, holding steady, soaking his lips and the stubble on his chin with the tang of your sex.

Dragging his tongue back out, his lips wrap around your throbbing clit, sucking vigorously as you twist your fingers though his hair, yanking just the way that gets him feral.

He moans against your core, the vibration sending a shockwave of pleasure through the center of you, and just when you think nothing has ever felt better, he slides two fingers into your dripping cunt.

This was exactly what you needed.

“Yes…oh god, Steven…”

Grasping the meat of your thigh with his free hand, he hooks one leg over his shoulder, driving deeper into you.

With your grip almost painfully threaded through his soft curls, you push and pull his face against your cunt, rocking your hips faster with each pass, your moans a scandalous crescendo of lustful desperation.

The dull, aching want in the center of you swells like a throbbing balloon, ready to burst, and Steven rumbles out a Jake-worthy chuckle between your legs as you find yourself shrieking like nothing he’s ever heard before.

He curls his fingers into the spongy softness deep in your walls, the steady suck of your clit finally drawing you into absolute rapture. Pleasure surges through your body, releasing soreness and tension as your cunt gushes all over your lover’s mouth, soaking him from nose to throat.

He lets you ride it out, pressing sweet, wet kisses to your tummy, brushing his fingers over your thighs, telling you how beautiful and perfect you are.

“So good, mon cœer, love the sounds you make for me.”

“Thank you,” you gasp, as he climbs back up your body and pulls you against his chest.

He kisses your temple, ignoring, for a moment, his blatant erection. “Good, yeah?” His eyebrows shoot up in adorable self-satisfaction.

“So good.”

He lets you recover, keeping private thoughts of how, when you're ready, he would love to fuck a baby into you and take care of your moods and your tits all the time, as your body grows his child.

You can feel the tension rolling off of him, almost chuckling as his gaze falls to your abdomen, his hand gently caressing you there. "I'm not ready right now - not at all, but...I would want it to be with you," you quietly confess.

He swallows thickly, nodding as his forehead drops to yours. And you breathe together, in and out, inhaling and exhaling one another as if each of you needs to other to survive.

(You do.)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Steven Grant-Centric stories

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

updates blog - @ivystoryupdates

[bisexualfagdyke]

People only care about character's implied sexualities if they're implied to be lesbian / gay . As soon as a character is implied to be bisexual (e.g. explicitly attracted to / involved with both men and women) suddenly they're "lesbian / gay with comphet" .... what if I killed you with a rock 🩷

[blistexenthusiast]

Kitty Revolution (Series), Priscilla Kar Yee Lo

[minniemaree]

i love my drow gal ~

[the-man-with-many-faces]

Most of my peers at the Akademiya were buzzing over there things called 'kinlists' and fictional characters called 'kins'. Apparently that means that you associate yourself with fictional or real people and characters, so I suppose I should try my hand at making one as well.

I feel like I should be concerned but I'm not.

[pulchinelle]

«Oh...Azul won't like this...»

A shy and prudent boy, Gambara is the ears of Azul. Though he is discreet, one should never trust him with any secret.

|Biographical Information

Name: Gambara Ruzovy

Katakana: ガンバラ ルゾビー (ganbara ruzobii)

Nicknames: Ake-chan (Floyd), tête de fouine (Rook)

Twisted from: Horace the Shrimp (Shark Tale), Jacques (Finding Nemo)

Voice Claim: Ryouta Oosana

Birthday: December 17th

Age: 17

Height: 158 cm

Dominant hand: Right

Homeland: Coral Sea

Family:

• 9 unnamed brothers

• unnamed Mother and Father

|School Life

Grade: Sophomore

Class: Class B

Club: Mountain Lovers Club

Best subject: Animal Languages

Worst subject: Musicology

|Personal Information

Personality:

Gambara cowers in front of others, often not talking much to attract attention to himself. He's good at pretending be isn't part of a conversation, when he really hears everything. He can ask some very specific and prodding questions. He is very cunning, he simply lacks the confidence to admit it, but he's quite valuable to Azul. He is also a perfectionist, a trait which Azul promptly exploits by making him the one in charge of cleaning up the Monstro Lounge, as Gambara cannot stand the sight of anything being out of place. When he isn't cleaning, he tends to the bar, his cocktails are very praised.

Background:

Coming from the slums of the Coral Sea, Gambara has spent his whole life knowing he wasn't worth as much as other merpeople, and was often picked on for being a cleaner shrimp merman, made to clean up after his classmates. His small size did not help either, but Gambara slowly got used to being pushed around, unable to even utter the word no.

It was really no surprise that he easily got roped in with Azul's shady business, especially considering Floyd suddenly taking a liking to him. He wouldn't leave the poor shrimp alone, and Gambara has found himself being Azul's little spy.

Hobbies: gardening

Pet peeves: People messing up his routine

Favourite food: lava cakes

Least favourite food: any fried foods

Likes: cleaning, rainstorms, eavesdropping, routines, planning

Dislikes: mud,arguing, sharks, Floyd, surprises

Talent: reading people

|Trivia

⟢Gambara's signature spell is "Clean Record". When Gambara touches another person (needs to be skin on skin, touching through clothes or gloves doesn't count) he will be able to access their deepest secrets

⟢ His voice gets very squeaky when he is nervous, which happens a lot when he tries to sing, resulting in him being a terrible singer.

⟢ He is terrified of Floyd, who has taken to stressing him out and playing with him out of boredom

⟢ he has previous bad experiences with shark merfolk, and he avoids them like the plague, along with any bigger merpeople

⟢ Gambara can be creepy at times, the amount of knowledge he has on other students and that he has memorized is worrisome.

⟢ he is a huge crybaby, others need to be very careful around him, and Azul finds it annoying as when he bursts into tears he tends to clam up and avoid speaking for minutes at a time

|Extra pages

⟢⟢⟢⟢

Coffin:

Candy:

[chibi in the works...]

[tojiscumdumpster]

toji core in WIFS

[fangswbenefits]

just a few random thoughts on The Arrangement Astarion (cw: mentions of past abuse and trauma)

The way abuse can warp someone for life is often overlooked. This isn't just a journey about him dealing with intimacy (in all its forms) but also how to do it in spite of everything he went through. Putting up walls and not letting her in, but feeling the need to resort to sarcasm and to being snarky cause the vulnerability that comes with it is just too much to handle. She has already seen the ugly yet he keeps doing it, because when you've doing it for so long it becomes second nature and it's hard to unlearn this behaviour. How can people stay when they've seen the ugly? Well, some people do stay because they have seen the ugly and their love for you surpasses that. They'd ve damned if they allowed that to change their opinion of you.

However, this doesn't have be a life sentence for him. He can learn and better himself alongside her if he so chooses. There will be good days. There will be bad days. But the constant will be her by his side. And this isn't about anyone getting fixed. There are other ways to heal. Are those healthy, though? But still, no matter how uncertain things are, he can count on her love as a constant that can help him love the parts of him that he has grown to hate.

Is it easy? Does it happen overnight? Probably not. But there's always hope. There is always a way out. Even when he dissociates. Even when he's fearful of getting more intimate with her. Even when he remembers that she chose friendship over something else - it's never easy to be shown what you need to see instead of what you want to see. Astarion falls into this constant dichotomy and I think it's worth exploring 🫂