#Σ::|| i will be your peace in your time of war | kassxcaitlyn

[ofspvrta]

Maybe she's melting under the closeness, the warmth of another. But this is different now, it doesn't feel like a hug between friends, or holding the hand of a family member, it's a closeness she knew once that felt like a distant ghost now. She still saw their faces when she slept, heard their laughter, and could faintly remember their voices. But that was another lifetime ago with many lived in between then and now. One day she would have to let the ghosts rest and allow herself to be happy again. Live for herself once more, not just running from everything she had lost.

She is done punishing herself for things beyond her control.

The arm that hugs her tighter is greeted with her hand gripping it more firmly, a sign she doesn't want Caitlyn to let go right away. Caitlyn can't see the way Kassandra's expression changes, her smile fades as she feels her trace the golden wings etched into her back. They were intricate, stemming from her spine and branching outwards and upwards, golden feathers spreading out as if she could fly away at any moment. Isn't that what she's been doing all these years? Flying away from everything that has haunted her all these years. Her grief, her actions, lives taken in the name of a greater cause. But it's Caitlyn touching them, the weight of them feels suddenly lessened. One day she will tell her, maybe when things are over and it's quieter. When it's safe. The last thing Caitlyn needs now is to learn she's invited an incredibly powerful immortal into her home. No one can know, not with Ambessa around.

As the hug is released, she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. Caitlyn takes her hand and moves to turn the hot water on, steam starting to rise in the room already. "Shouldn't we—" she says breaking the silence, gesturing to the fact they still had their underwear on.

CAITLYN KIRAMMAN HAS ALWAYS BOTH BEEN AFFECTIONATE AND TOUCH AVERSED . and maybe that just means she's affectionate towards people she trusts and loves. OR MAYBE SHE'S JUST A LESBIAN . and sometimes , in moments like these , it's okay to admit she's just found herself attracted to her hot friend. maybe , actually , in moments where caitlyn is struggling to figure out who she is and what she has done. JUST BEING A LESBIAN IS A GOOD THING . and important thing. a fun thing. falling in love is good , right?

... oh yeah. IT IS JUST BEING HAPPY . that peace of mind.

one of caitlyn's arms just tighten around kassandra's waist. A HUG WITH PRESSURE , fingertips still pressing into abs. she removes her head from kassandra's back to peek at the tattoo she saw before she just wanted to rest her head on kassandra. WHICH , BY THE WAY , ISN'T NEW . caitlyn's just been using kassndra for a pillow for the past couple of weeks. THE LACK OF CLOTHES IS THE NEW THING . her other hand reaches up , fingertips just tracing the lines of the tattoos. CAITLYN DOESN'T ASK , if only because she's learned kassandra by now. the older woman isn't going to actually explain it until she's ready to explain it anyway. SHE'LL DOLL IT ALL UP , some sort of real explanation that's just missing so much.

CAITLYN WOULD MUCH RATHER KASSANDRA TELL HER ON HER OWN TERMS THE STORY , ANYWAY . maybe there isn't even a story. the sharpshooter finally relents her grasp on the hug ( and the abs ) to reach for kassandra's hand and pull the other woman into the shower more. CAITLYN ACTUALLY DOES NOT LET GO WHILE TURNING THE HOT WATER ON .

[ofspvrta]

A kiss while one party is carried / from caitlyn

μ::|| meme: kiss roulette | accepting [ Ξ ]

θ::|| @torntruth

They both knew that she wasn't going to recover overnight. That battle took so much out of her, and from her. It had been a rough couple of days since Caitlyn woke up, the sudden realization that she couldn't see out of her left eye anymore, the revelation of what the stranger she took into her home truly was, on top of everything that was the last few months. Kassandra continued her role as a caretaker in the home, bringing Caitlyn drinks and food, and helping her bathe and dress. She should be fine to do those things on her own in the next few days but many of the wounds were still fresh and easily irritated.

Caitlyn should be able to walk on her own, even with the leg injury and the stab to her gut still healing, but Kassandra offered to carry her to the dining room so she could eat somewhere other than her bed. Caitlyn was fiercely independent in so many ways, she expected resistance, but to her surprise, she agreed. Maybe the pain was especially bad today, or maybe, just maybe, she just liked being held by the very tall strong eagle woman. Either way, she obliges, gingerly lifting her and making her way to the dining room. Her suspicions about the latter reason were confirmed when Caitlyn turned Kassandra's head to face her, the look she usually gets when she wants to be kissed. Who is she to deny her? She leans her head down, gently pressing her lips to Caitlyn's as she slowly continues walking.

[ofspvrta]

「 BARE 」 : for sender to undress in front of receiver / from caitlyn

μ::|| meme: 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 … | accepting [ Ξ ]

θ::|| torntruth | caitlyn kiramman

A couple of weeks into inviting Kassandra into their home, Caitlyn had asked her if she would mind staying with her while she showered. At first, Kassandra would wait outside the room, giving her some privacy but the assurance that she was there. Then she would wait in the room, but a privacy screen was brought in. Caitlyn had told her about the abduction, and how she didn't like to be alone when she showered anymore because of it. Trauma. She could understand that.

Today is different.

Caitlyn doesn't bother with the privacy screen, and by the time Kassandra looks up from the book she's brought to read, the woman is already stripped down to her underwear. Things had been different between them the last few days, closer. She shakes her head for a moment, trying to sort out what Caitlyn is doing.

"Did you not want your usual privacy?" She asks, confused. Maybe she needs it spelled out for her. It's been an excruciatingly long time since she's been in any situation like this.

[ofspvrta]

She would be lying if she said she wasn't starved for affection. In the last few weeks, as they grew closer, Caitlyn had provided that, resting against her in more vulnerable moments and wanting her to stay close. It was... nice, and something she is still trying to get used to again. Allowing herself to know that kind of peace. To provide that kind of peace. She smiles softly at the sigh Caitlyn lets out, it's the most relaxed she's sounded since they met.

Happy. It's a feeling that's been foreign to her for so long, but she knows that's what she feels in this moment. Happy.

Maybe this is the change in tides that Caitlyn needs, something outside of the revenge and the mission to pull her away from the claws of the wolf. She's starting to think she could stay here even longer than originally planned. For as long as she is allowed. Surely, she will outlive both Caitlyn and Tobias, just as she has outlived nearly everyone, but for a brief time, she can have something close to normal. The thoughts distract her enough that she is suddenly aware that the trousers have been pulled down, her sandals had been traded in for house slippers for the day, so at least that wasn't going to be an issue.

As Caitlyn moved around her, those hands make quick work of the rest of the fastenings on her vest, allowing her to slip out of that as well until all that was left was her underwear. Strong back muscles revealing themselves, another little hidden secret that she kept behind such simple clothes. The build of the soldier she had once spoken of being. On her shoulder blades were the markings of two golden wings, if asked, she would say they were tattoos to remind her of home, but she isn't ready to reveal the truth. The actual nature of the markings. Caitlyn rests her head near one of the tattoos, wrapping her arms around her waist and pressing her fingers into her abs. The Ascended pauses, hands slowly lowering to rest over Caitlyn's. The silence of the moment feels perfect, she wouldn't know what to say anyway.

IT IS THE ALMOST INSTANT WAY CAITLYN'S EYES FLUTTER WHEN KASSANDRA STARTS PLAYING WITH HER HAIR . it's that soft and needy affection she really wanted. and something she would have gotten from a liar if kassandra hadn't stolen her affections instead. AND KASSANDRA IS ENTIRELY MORE HEALTHY FOR CAITLYN . the fingers in her hair distract her enough her hand is still lingering on kassandra's pants. THE SIGH CAITLYN LETS OUT IS SO DAMN SOFT TOO . peaceful.

... she's found a little peace , kassandra. ARE YOU HAPPY ? maybe caitlyn just wishes for kassandra's peace of mind too.

this is all so domestic , actually. AS KASSANDRA HAS BEEN FOR THEM FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS . if anything else , this is the sign that caitlyn will truly fight to get out of ambessa's grasp so that she can continue living with kassandra and tobias like this. FOR THE FAMILY THAT WAS CREATED . a finger just pulls on the waistband to get the loose linen even more loose before caitlyn's hands move so thumbs can hook on either side of those pants and she tugs down. LOOSE LINEN DID HAPPEN TO FALL EASIER . a smile. would a challenge even have made that awkward? she'd like to hope it wouldn't.

CAITLYN'S HAND MOVE BACK TO THE VEST TO FINISH TAKING IT OFF . and she actually moves around kassandra the slightest so she can reach a hand up and tuck it in near the top so all kassandra has to do is move her arms slightly so she can pull it off. AND CAITLYN DOES . walking away just a little bit so she can hang that vest on the chair kassandra was previously and usually sitting in. CAITLYN WALKS BACK TO KASSANDRA . her long arms wrap around kassandra's waist , head pressing somewhere near the tattoo she just noticed , fingertips pressing into abs. HER SIGH IS SO HAPPY .

[ofspvrta]

Kindness, it is what drew her to Caitlyn in the first place. The kindness to take a stranger in, to let her stay for an unspecified amount of time. To talk to her and get to know her, or at least as much as she was willing to divulge. It hurt when she saw the anger that furrowed deep in Caitlyn's face, especially when Ambessa or Maddie were around, discussing the situation in Zaun. She didn't like the way her voice dipped when she spoke of the woman who killed her mother. But she understood it when her family was killed, it wasn't just grief that consumed her. It was anger. Rage. Maybe even hate. All mingling in with the grief to make something volatile that she didn't like. And she saw it happening to Caitlyn, something that she has tried to help stop. That is how to heal, to let those feelings stop the endless consuming.

If Caitlyn can find at least a little peace, she's done her part.

Kassandra silently watches as Caitlyn takes her hand and brings it to her lips, gently finding every scar that marred its surface and pressing kisses to them. Never once did Kassandra feel shame about her scars, they were signs that she had survived, but to have them loved and doted upon... it reminds her of what she once had. But for once, the memories of what was aren't bad, they're hopeful. Hopeful that she has a second chance. To have what was taken from her and what she then denied herself. All those years of loneliness and chasing the memories of what was seems to melt off her shoulders and for once, she's thinking about what could be.

As Caitlyn brings her other hand to her hair that had been pulled from its ponytail, she pauses, smiling in appreciation before she lets her fingers lightly tangle in the threads of dark blue. Caitlyn's hand then travels down to Kassandra's loose linen pants, finding the waistband and lingering there for a long moment. Kassandra says nothing, simply nods as if giving permission, just as she had with her vest which was now partially undone.

HEALING IS DONE BEST WHEN BOTH PARTIES JUST UNDERSTAND . or confiding isn't just the same. you can vent , you can talk at somebody -- but it doesn't feel special or important until it seems like they truly care too. OR UNTIL THEY UNDERSTAND . and it's just obvious caitlyn felt that way until she asked kassandra to give her a chance to heal until who she really is made a true appearance. WHO CAITLYN IS HAPPENS TO BE KIND . and kassandra did bring that out of her until day one. she's just more of a justice person , not a revenge person. THAT'S THE THING THAT TWISTED HER PERSONALITY . and she wants that gone.

... SHE WANTS TO BE KASSANDRA'S CAITLYN . and maybe that's what kassandra wants too. JUST MAYBE .

caitlyn just wraps her less-girthy hand around kassandra's , more so around the palm. fingers pressing against kassandra's middle fingers for stability. BECAUSE CAITLYN BRINGS KASSANDRA'S HAND TO HER LIPS . she kisses a smaller scar on a finger before moving around to kiss that larger scar. AND IT SO ENDEARINGLY SOFT . you know what? maybe this is her realizing she's never going to go back to who she was. SHE WILL CREATE SOMETHING NEW . with all the kindness from before , but a backbone and a mouth that will shut down anything like ambessa again. she just still needs her moment.

SOMETHING KASSANDRA COULD BE PROUD OF , RIGHT ?

caitlyn's other hand glides all the way down kassandra's arm until her hand wraps around kassandra's wrist. she lifts that hand until it can be pushed into the messy hair she had down. IT'S POINTLESS TO TAKE A SHOWER IN A PONYTAIL , AFTER ALL . after a lingering kiss on kassandra's scars , she moves that hand to rest on the waistband of her pants. COMFORTABLE PANTS . more for lounging around the house. she didn't get to doing anything quite yet today , still in that loungewear type of clothes.

[ofspvrta]

Healing comes in many forms. Physical wounds close over time, learning to let go of the things that drag you down, or finally having the chance to process loss and grief. Sometimes healing is just having someone you can confide in. And maybe Kassandra is finally having that too. It has been so long since she lost everything and not once did she seek solace in anyone else. She simply... walked away. From everything. And even in her vast travels, she encountered many cultures but never allowed herself to be part of them.

Until now. Until someone noticed her and offered her shelter. She couldn't ghost her way through time anymore, not when someone actually cared about her. Not when she finally gets to feel like she has a family again. And a family that needed help in return.

Caitlyn's hand moves to glide over the hard muscle of Kassandra's arm, and as the kiss breaks away, Kassandra's eyes can't help but follow the motion of it as it moves over the scars on her upper arm. Wounds hard-earned in the heat of battle all those ages ago. Gold eyes then return to Caitlyn, watching the concentration on her face as she finds the next buckle of her vest. To see her smile like this, it's reassuring, things are changing, and the tide is turning. Kassandra can't help but think of their similarities as Caitlyn plays with their hands, and yet the differences shine through just as much. Caitlyn's hands, while matching in length are elegant, Kassandra's are rough, with wider fingers and scars marring the surface, especially the large one across the center of her hand. But the intimacy of the moment isn't lost on her as she glances up, smiling gently at her.

And all she can think of at this moment is how she can't let war take from her a second time. She can't be destroyed like that, not again.

MAYBE NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THE WAR AND AMBESSA . and maybe that just goes to show how much caitlyn truly stops to think when she's with kassandra and kassandra only. actually , she truly has to find the willpower so that her eyes don't travel to kassandra when the woman makes an appearance when caitlyn's with ambessa. SHE WAS LIKE THAT WITH HER MOTHER TOO . there's just this one person caitlyn seeks out enough to find guidance from.

caitlyn just needs a certain opportunity to finally shift from ambessa's grip. SHE JUST HAS TO FIND THAT . though ... now it becomes relatively hard to get a hold of her when she tall foreigner right at her side. nearly rictus' equal in stature.

somehow those slightly trembling hands finally get rid of that second buckle. fingers stop trembling when they slide underneath it. caitlyn's other hand which had still just been resting on kassandra's side shift to kassandra's arm , the backs of fingers gliding over skin. caitlyn breaks away from the kiss so eyes can find the hand just under a buckle. HER HEAD TILTS AGAIN . the curiosity gesture that's combined genuine joy. kassandra's hand practically covers her own , so she rotates her own hand until her palm was pressed against kassandra's palm just to see the size difference. SAME SIZE , but not quite. not quite at all. same lengthwise. it's the way a smile quirks up the corner of her lips. the small things she learns.

LOVE DOESN'T NEED TO BE FOUND , IT'S ALREADY THERE . they just have to make sure they don't let anything in between it. NOT THE WAR . not the war monger. IT'S THEIRS .

[ofspvrta]

In a sea of chaos, the only thing that can keep a soul afloat is something to hold onto. A constant. A rock breaching the waves just high enough to get some high ground and catch some breath. Kassandra had found herself in that sea of chaos ages ago, being pulled under the water time and time again drowning in the darkness, misery, and sorrow that not even her sunborn powers could abate. Grief just eats a hole inside a person and continues to consume if no one is there to stop it. She couldn't watch another go through such pain, especially when violence constantly becomes an answer to a problem caused by violence to begin with.

She's becoming hopeful that things aren't too late for Caitlyn to turn things around for herself. To let love take the place of hate that had settled into the whole that grief made.

Perhaps Kassandra is one of the few people right now who gets to see the other side of Caitlyn in all of this. The side that doesn't want the violence, the side that is just a woman trying to navigate a loss no one had prepared her for. In over her head and pulled in too deep by a woman with terrible intentions. But here in these softer moments, where Caitlyn doesn't have to hide what she's feeling because Kassandra will not judge her for it, she starts to see the woman who was hiding underneath everything that has been put heavy on her shoulders. And that's who she fell for, the person who cares almost too much, the woman whose heart bleeds for others but now hemorrhages for herself.

Maybe neither of them realized that this was the direction things would take them. Kassandra didn't plan on staying in Piltover long and now it's been months. Just a fleeting thought about how that turned out passes through her mind as the second clasp is worked on and the kiss turns a little less reserved. Perhaps if she hadn't been alone for so long she would have seen the signs sooner. That Caitlyn is attracted to her. Never once did Kassandra assume anything of their relationship, just beyond going from grateful to be given shelter, to confidants and friends. Ever the shoulder to lean on, but now she leans into her. After all this time, maybe love can be found again.

CAITLYN IS ALREADY STARTING TO SEE THAT . maybe in the same way she hasn't seen mel in awhile and ambessa hasn't uttered one word about it -- cassandra would have never let caitlyn disappear without a manhunt. THAT WAR MONGER DOESN'T CARE ABOUT FAMILY . at least not in the same way caitlyn ever has. ambessa will never understand love in the same way caitlyn gave up her gun for vi or the way kassandra makes caitlyn truly stop and think. SELFLESS .

... and thinking about cassandra and kassandra in completely different ways without flinching at the similiarity is a healing.

YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A LITTLE EASIER TO HEAL WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST . and this is honestly just coming back to herself. this is the caitlyn that loves with all her heart , that flirts with the cutest of woman , not the one that's drinking alone in a dark room obsessing over a woman who hated piltover so much that caitlyn paid for it. caitlyn's hand trembles just the slightest , actually , but that's just excitement as if she doesn't believe for a few seconds she's getting something she has truly wanted for a little bit. IT'S EASY TO TELL THE THAT CAITLYN BEING ATTRACTED TO KASSANDRA WASN'T JUST A LAYER . she loved kassandra , as a friend and a confidant. THIS WAS JUST ADDING ROMANCE .

fingers slip at the clasp and caitlyn is taking a step into kassandra , pushing into the taller woman actually. THE KISS TURNS A LITTLE MESSY . she started seeing kassandra less as just a wise mentor and more of a friend when she started getting physically close. MAYBE THAT WAS EVIDENT . and maybe it's a dumb moment to try and explain the attraction , but it's like caitlyn balancing that she's fully aware of kassandra's age and power , but still seeing kassandra like an equal in regards to a ... simple , young love attraction. MAYBE FOR A SECOND THERE SHE DID THINK SHE WAS SLIGHTLY OUT OF HER LEAGUE . but now she knows she doesn't have to compensate. SHE'S GOING TO LOVE LIKE ALWAYS .

[ofspvrta]

Those who thirst for power lose sight of anything else. War mongers viewed everyone else as collateral and she worries that Ambessa views Caitlyn the same way. Someone to use until the usefulness is all used up. And what becomes of her then? No, she won't let Ambessa discard Caitlyn like she's nothing, if she could find a way, she'd get her out of the wolf's claws as soon as she could. But, it's never so simple as that. Caitlyn ultimately has to make that decision. She can't force her hand.

It feels like they stay in this position for an eternity, hands in hands, fingers dancing around each other idly as gold meets blue. Kassandra doesn't even mind it. Caitlyn takes the lead here, she's only helping. Truly she feels her timing in Piltover was no accident. She happened to be in the right place at the right time, encountering the person who would need her most. Where she can do the most good, and where she could finally have the things she had lost so long ago. A family. Love. She didn't even realize she was looking for it again, and maybe she wasn't initially. Maybe one simple act of kindness when it would have been so easy to send her on her way opened her heart back up and allowed the woman before her to make her way inside.

Tension builds in the air between them as fingers finally start playing with the clasp, they're so close, it's only a matter of time before one of them breaches that space, and Caitlyn takes the initiative, pressing her lips against Kassandra's. The Ascended's eyes fall shut, feeling the top clasp of the vest come undone and she gently leads Caitlyn's hands to the next, kissing her back as the room falls to a comfortable silence.

THAT RIGHT THERE IS THE DIFFERENCE . as much as ambessa tries to lean on this whole thing being about family , it's not. SHE'S A WAR MONGER . she's not trying to take over the piltover enforcers to save mel , she could have done that awhile ago. IT'S THE THIRST FOR POWER . as much as she can. she didn't even divulge she wanted to stop the black hand , ambess has just been playing dirty this whole time. THERE IS ONLY THE THIRST FOR VIOLENCE ... and caitlyn does want her own little family. tobias. kassandra. FAMILY .

it's the way caitlyn's finger idly plays with kassandra's fingers ... as both their hands just rest on those clasps. SHE'S DISTRACTED . she obviously was not even exaggerating when she said she thought kassandra was attractive. if she's to be honest , in the most selfish way , she stopped to assess kassandra's situation when they met because the woman was otherworldly gorgeous. THE FACT THEY MET WAS STILL A LITTLE FATE-WORTHY OTHERWISE , THOUGH . blue eyes just glance around gold eyes. they're so very captivating. caitlyn's mouth opens like she was going to say something. she momentarily forget what kassandra just said all the same.

eyes finally flick away , fingers starting at the clasp. she can practically feel kassandra's breaths. SPEAKING OF DISTRACTIONS -- caitlyn just sort of leans in after that. presses her lips against kassandra's , just as the vest clasp unsnaps ... WHICH WAS A COMPLETE ACCIDENT ITSELF .

[ofspvrta]

Mostly unbiased. She still knew how Noxus could be, a warrior culture. But Kassandra knew war as well as she knew peace. An expert in both practices and while she had given up her warrior ways after the fall of Shuriman and the death of her family, those things remained in the body and in the blood. She couldn't let Caitlyn be consumed by the dogs of war, couldn't let it destroy her the way it nearly destroyed Kassandra. And maybe in that time of repaying Caitlyn and Tobias for the hospitality when they understandably had no obligation to do so, she realizes now that she may have fallen in love.

Perhaps she should have led with another word, the look in Caitlyn's eyes speaks of the very sudden and very painful thought that maybe her advances weren't wanted. But it isn't that at all, and as she continues and the woman's hands linger at the clasps, Kassandra's intentions finally shine through. Gold eyes shimmer in the light that filters into the grand bathroom, grateful that Caitlyn has returned to reality and not lost in the possibility that this was a mistake. It wasn't, it isn't. And her fingers gently massage her hands while she waits for Caitlyn to do what she seems to have wanted to do.

And then those eyes greet hers again after what feels like a very long moment of Caitlyn just staring at the secrets her cloak alone held. She never took that thing off inside, she didn't want to be seen as a soldier but as a wanderer instead.

Kassandra's head cants now, gold eyes half-lidded as their lips are a breath from touching. Her tone is a whisper, a reassurance she has asked before but with a different intent now. "If that is what you truly want..." Falling into the familiar and yet now it seems so new. She wants to, oh, she really wants to.

IF KASSANDRA HADN'T ARRIVED WHEN SHE HAD , AMBESSA WOULD HAVE FOUND ANOTHER WAY TO WEASLE INTO CAITLYN'S MIND . as it stands , ambessa and kassandra now just have random stare offs (caitlyn's right hand usually wins , of course) and caitlyn isn't in bed with a noxian spy. instead caitlyn has somebody to talk about this whole thing from a mostly unbiased point of view , while caitlyn also gets to step back and breathe. LOVE THAT IS SO NATURAL .

it's the way caitlyn's heart absolutely skips a beat and breath stops for the fraction of a second kassandra had said 'no.' THE SUDDEN REALIZATION THAT REJECTION TRULY WOULD HAVE HURT . and maybe it would have been best to wait and see so she wasn't going through that hurt just the same. she has been a little more impulsive lately. caitlyn's blue eyes even swim out of focus , completely detaching for that second before her head shifts , reattaching to life when she realizes the cloak had come off. THANK THE ARCANE ITSELF . blue eyes slowly filter back upwards , hands just loosely in kassandra's. well look at that -- she started this thing and now she's the one completely distracted by the whole entire moment.

it's the way caitlyn's mouth even opens the slightest in awe. caitlyn's hands don't necessarily move , but her head tilts again , a smile curling upwards yet again. blue eyes flick to brown.

" would you like to take a shower with me? " and somehow with that breathless question , caitlyn's head had moved closer.

[ofspvrta]

Maybe Kassandra had arrived precisely when she was meant to. A being with the wisdom of the ages and the ability to look in from the outside and see what was truly happening. Or at least what she could gather from the situation. Most of her time was spent exclusively at the manor, making sure Tobias was okay and checking in with Caitlyn when she was home. There were times when she would accidentally interrupt meetings with Ambessa to bring tea or update Caitlyn on Tobias. She couldn't help it, she doesn't trust Ambessa and worries about what she brought out in Caitlyn.

Kassandra pauses, eyes searching Caitlyn's face as much as she searches hers. She hasn't been called attractive in ages, by design as she never let anyone get close to her. Not since she lost her family. Lost her sense of purpose. Caitlyn's hands grab the bottom of her vest around her waist. Was she going to keep denying that they had grown closer lately? That she had felt much the same about the woman before her? "No." Her hands reach up for the clasp under the mantel of the cloak she regularly wore, nimbly unfastening it and letting it slide off her shoulders to the floor and revealing her muscular arms. Strong, scarred hands reach for Caitlyn's and gently remove them from her vest, moving them up to the high neck of her garment. Long fingers slide up the outside of her hands as she rests them at the separation of her vest.

Her head leans in, close enough to feel the warmth of Caitlyn's breath. "There are clasps, you have to undo them before pulling it off; it's a vest." Her voice is quiet as she positions her fingers on the clasp. "Like that."

MAYBE IT DOESN'T HELP THAT CAITLYN'S MOTHER HAD BEEN THE WISE ONE . the one to make the decisions. caitlyn looked up to her frequently , sought out her word frequently ... and then suddenly caitlyn had to be the leader. and she had just lost what she wanted to lead. THE MESSAGE SHE WANTED TO SEND . the good she wanted to do. despite her mother. DESPITE EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED .

... she just wanted to do all that good again. if not just for kassandra. THAT WAS HER PATH BACK TO HER SANITY .

" i think you're quite attractive. " it was absolutely said so matter-of-factly. caitlyn's blue eyes are still flicking around kassandra's features , almost as if that's pure emphasis. a hand twitches at her side. SHE DOESN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO ACTUALLY . there's a brief second that she forgot kassandra doesn't mind touch. they're usually cuddling -- she just realizes she doesn't know if kassandra is just doing that just because or if kassandra realizes caitlyn only does that with people she thoroughly enjoys the company of. OR SHE WOULDN'T .

caitlyn's hands finally reach out , grabbing handfuls of kassandra's shirt with each hand along kassandra's hips.

[ofspvrta]

There has been a positive change in the last few days; Caitlyn's brow seems more relaxed in her resting state—not the constantly furrowed expression she had been wearing for a while. Granted, it wasn't without noticing that exhaustion had also settled there. The poor woman must have been running on fumes for so long. Kassandra can only do so much. Ambessa is not someone she trusts, she's had dealings with Noxus in the past and they are not the most compromising sort. And as a soldier, she had many Ambessas in her time. All she can do is reassure Caitlyn of who she used to be.

"You worry about so much, it's only fair someone worries about you. I don't think anyone has allowed you the time you need to deal with—" she gestures around grandly, "—everything." She pauses, realizing that Caitlyn has been looking at her a bit differently lately. But she's still navigating things herself. Her interactions with people are often brief, nothing spanning months like this time. Some of the finer details are lost on her, she can notice changes in demeanor, she can be incredibly empathetic, but somethings she is completely oblivious to. But still, her eyes never leave Caitlyn. Her brows instead furrow in confusion. "Why... are you looking at me like that?"

IT DOESN'T HELP THAT EVERY SINGLE SUPPORT SYSTEM SHE HAD WAS ALSO ABSENT DURING THIS TIME . her father was grieving. jayce was trying to save a dead man. and vi had been the best thing caitlyn had in all that , but vi was still a big sister who wanted nothing more to save her little sister. AND CAITLYN HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO UNDERSTAND NOW . it was kassandra that was the real support system.

... and it's duly noted that caitlyn doesn't blame them. THERE IS NO IRE . there is now only that understanding.

" that's why i trust you ... kassandra. you worry about me. there are a few things you should probably be worried about more , but you're worried about me. and my father. " caitlyn's voice is such a soft intonation , the way her head is tilted to the side ... and upwards. it should also be duly noted that she hates looking up at someone rather taller like that , unless that someone is kassandra. she usually leaves quite a bit of room between herself and ambessa when speaking to the general. and she usually converses with jayce side by side. all these little habits that she has and kassandra barely knows she interacts wholly comfortable with the taller woman.

[ofspvrta]

She has patience, boundless amounts of it, in fact. How could she not? The life she has lived is long, she's learned to temper the anger that used to riddle her bones like a cancer. So she's learned to pass that patience on to others. Grief is a horrific process, especially when one isn't given the time to truly work through it healthily. Caitlyn was thrust into a whirlwind before she could deal with her own feelings. The least Kassandra can offer her is the chance to slow down around her. To slow down before her feelings eat her alive.

She closes her book, marking her place with a simple red cord. Caitlyn has her full attention, but her eyes remain focused on her face. "I..." The book is discarded to the table beside her, the Ascended standing to regard Caitlyn on equal standing. "As long as you're sure. I worry about you, you know." But she knows there is more to what Caitlyn is saying, something just beneath the surface of her words. "You said to me that I haven't met the person you used to be, but I think I have. She comes through in glimpses — when you aren't filling the role of commander."

━ continued from here for @ofspvrta .

THE WAY THAT KASSANDRA HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT POSITIVE FOR HER FLEETING COMMUNICATION ... the one that just took a nose dive after her mother's death. she was lost and she had forgotten to flick on a flashlight to help her through the darkness , but kassandra always outright asking , and just generally being a sense of peace in this turbulent time has been made caitlyn patient again. LET HER EXPLAIN IT .

" i don't want privacy with you. i'm not as paranoid as i used to be , or i could use the excuse that it eases my mind knowing i see you and you see me - nothing can get between that. that's not the reason. i'm just comfortable with you. "