#ˏˋ°•⁀➷ JOHN MURPHY * HEADCANONS ‚ nine lives motherfucker .

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71, 85, 90 for Murphy

*: ･ﾟ✧   90 loaded questions / interview the muse.

71. How often do you say yes to the things you really want to say yes to?

never.

saying yes would mean having to admit to having wants and desires, and murphy would be damned before he would let anyone know that he wants.

85. Which insecurity would shock people if they knew about it?

being valued.

murphy wants purpose. he wants a place of belonging and to feel acceptance. he doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere or "fits in", no matter the social group or setting. as far as he's concerned, he doesn't have anything to offer but spite.

he's lost his place in the world at a young age and has been made the punching bag for a lot of people who should have been friends or comrades.

the ark deemed him to be of no value when they denied him the medicine needed when he was sick as a kid. when they killed his father, and his mother drunk herself to death. when he was imprisoned for acting out and retaliating, angry, hurt and confused.

pike's final lesson.

the lynching.

the torture.

"roach."

tell him he's worth something. tell him he means something to someone, anyone and if not, than fuck you and everyone else who comes after you.

90. What is the one thing that could make you happy, but you refuse to do it because you’re afraid of what others would think?

getting to know someone.

surprisingly, murphy can be a social creature and in fact, socializing can be good for him. give him a friend. heck, give him a group of friends and watch his personality blossom. but he refuses to talk to people, let alone to be honest with them.

trust no one, right? the only person you can depend on is yourself.

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ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ?

The Storm

anger is a double-edged sword you know. be careful or you'll cut yourself and everyone you love on it; or have you already? it's okay to be soft, it's not weak to let  others see you as you are. you don't have to be strong anymore, let go. you'll never move on from what hurts you until you stop hiding from yourself. you are not who they said you are.

---------------------------------------- [ Severus Snape ]

The Snow

you're either numb inside or you feel everything. you want to feel like a kid again rolling in the snow with your friend, but you've grown up. living in the past will do you no good anymore, remember that version of you and strive to make them proud, you're not them anymore though, move on. make new memories  

---------------------------------------- [ John Murphy ]

The Fog

you've never felt as alone as you do now , but maybe you've always felt like this. it doesn't matter if you're with a group or by yourself, the loneliness stays with you always, it's seeped into your bones. or has it? are you as alone as you think or are you clinging on to this pit inside you like it has the answers? it doesn't, know that. it's okay to feel joy again, it's okay to feel okay.

---------------------------------------- [ Yamato Ishida ]

tagged by: no one !

tagging: @hcmlock​ , @faultyconscience​ , and you !

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i once again just want everyone to look at murphy's cat . 🥺

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If you went to a therapist today, what would they say is holding you back the most? @ John Murphy

*: ･ﾟ✧   90 loaded questions / interview the muse.

you don't know how to trust.

And why should he? What reason has anyone given him that they could or should be trusted? There's nobody in this world without a hidden agenda. Everybody wants something from somebody, and Murphy would be damned before he fell for any handouts and I'll be there for yous.

The very beginning of The 100, the lynching incident, is good proof and solidification of Murphy's beliefs.

Trust no one.

You are just another means to their ends. Pike's final lesson is one Murphy ends up embodying entirely, not to be said that he was made to embody it well.

Every harm is intentional. Every act of humiliation and abuse is intentional.

Trust no one. Only you can save yourself.

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go through a nighttime routine and ill tell you what kind of villain you are

dubiously evil ( severus snape )

you do what you have to. to some, what you're doing is wrong, and to others, it is undeniably right. despite this, you continue. even if you don't enjoy it, you'll continue. when you die, you most likely feel one of two ways. disappointed, if you couldn't reach your goal. was all this for nothing? and, on the other hand, proud and relieved. this is a burden you've carried for far too long, and now it's one you can let go. you don't fight it either way.

righteously evil ( john murphy )

you've been hurt. what you're doing is wrong. there is no doubt. but it's what you need to do. you were not going to roll over and let it just happen. so you did what you had to. and you will continue doing what you had to. when you die, its with fury in your eyes. your opponent says you're stubborn, having kept this up for this long. you laugh, and spit in their face. you curse them until your very last breath.

accidentally evil ( ken ichijouji )

you didn't mean to. it was honestly an accident, but who would believe you? you need to watch your back now, because everyone is after you. why wouldn't they be? for all they know, you did it on purpose. when you die, it's from finally being caught by the wrong people. you die afraid, and still running. unbeknownst to you, you are swiftly avenged. your unnecessary death does not go unpunished.

tagged by : stolen !

tagging : @faultyconscience , @hcmlock , and you !

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murphy + pets

send me  ‘ hc ‘  + a word and i’ll write a headcanon about it regarding my character.

when it comes to murphy, nurture vs. nature has been one of my favorite aspects of his character to explore. considering murphy's upbringing, the lost of his parents and his early imprisonment at the age of 13, it stands to reason that nature has shaped a lot of who he is and who we saw at the start of the 100.

but as his character develops, and dormant qualities began to show ( nursing the sick and wounded , his kindness shown to emori... etc ) nature doesn't define him and his ability to interact with others. by wanting to expand on this nurturing side of him, one of the best things to do is to hand his character an egg.

or

in this case, a deformed creature he can bond with during a long period of time.

bella, named after the character bell from folklores shared with him when he was a child, is a maine coon with jaunus. found early on in the 100 timeline, it was abandoned as a kitten and kept by murphy who, admittingly walked by it several times before he took her back to campy with him. she was ugly with her disformed face, and grating cry but the same could be said about him, right? she was incapable of feeding herself, navigating her environment or hunting. putting her out of her misery would be the kindest thing he could do for her.

but he doesn't. unable to explain why, murphy wastes valuable resources on feeding her and raising her. he cuts his own portions, chewing raw meat and stealing milk to give her. teaching her to fend herself and navigate her surroundings. giving her the chances he wasn't given.

bella is blind but her hearing and sense of smell is astounding. she is bigger than the average maine coone and with murphy's care, grew up to have a beautiful coat of fur and a fierce sense of loyalty. she works in tandem with him out on the field, turning out to be a great hunter and asset when exploring the woods.

he loves her. he wouldn't trade her for the world. calls her ugly affectionately but she will always be beautiful to his eyes.

raising bella has taught him to be a good animal handler and sparked storylines where he played a more ranger like role.

bella below the cut as drawn by my greatest enemy @hcmlock ❤️ tw for facial deformity, janus cat

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write a letter to your inner child + i'll tell you what flower you've blossomed into

a dandelion, rapidly growing in the field

“dandelions, like all things in nature are beautiful when you take the time to pay attention to them.” ― june stoyer — 

your resilience is what's gotten you very far in life. those who have trampled and picked on you made it easier for you to spread your seeds — the bright yellow petals you once had, certainly transformed into white, delicate whispies. They floated away into a distance, only to provide you with new opportunities for you to grow your thoughts, ideas, and feelings in other places— that were perhaps harder for them to reach before. even though you've felt unwanted, you nevertheless continued to thrive where other flowers could not.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------[ Severus ]

a wallflower, quietly standing still

“it takes as much time to build walls sturdy enough for wallflowers like you and me to lean against as it does for us to bloom.”�� ayokunle falomo, thread, this wordweaver must! — 

you're comfortable with being left alone, yet perhaps there are slivers of empty cracks you wish to fill with joy. staying at the side lines, on the side walk, by the wall... these are all places you are used to being in. you're trying to find a way to grow in other places, farther away from what you've always known. the inner child within seeks to reach further out into the world. perhaps it's scared, has some anxiety, and wishes to cling onto the past... but only time will tell — your beauty is nevertheless a silent and distant sort, lingering.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------[ John M. ]

a chrysanthemum, being the mum of all blooms

"i look for myself but find no one. i belong to the chrysanthemum hour of bright flowers placed in tall vases. i should make an ornament of my soul." — fernando pessoa — 

in the west, the chrysanthumum represents death whereas the east reveres its beauty as a symbol of longevity, hope, and gentle kindness. your beauty is so grand; it draws in a polarity of people. perhaps you sometimes struggle with accepting other people's opinions and viewpoints about you, and this is the reason to your everlasting generosity. sometimes you show compassion to those who do not deserve it. your inner child yearns to ACCEPT itself and the depth it holds within all those petals.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------[ Ken I. ]

tagged by : no one ! 

tagging: @faultyconscience​ , @hcmlock​ , and you !

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Fern for Murphy

❥     𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒    [   𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂    ]   .

     ↳ fern :   does your muse believe in magic or cosmic forces ,   or are they more likely to think their life is ultimately a matter of their own control ?  

He does.

Hard not to with how much life tends to fuck him over. Murphy use to subscribe to the saying, “Everything happens for a reason” but fuck that shit. Shit happens and it doesn’t make a lick of sense.

Faith, cosmic forces or whatever the fuck you want to call it can suck his dick. Whatever it has in store for him---- He’s hellbent on fucking it up. You’re telling him some dipshit up in the sky has plans for him?

Fuck that. He’s throwing a molotov in em. He’s tired of waiting to see what happens. Murphy is taking life by the reins and making it his bitch. He is going to defy all odds and come out better and stronger for it. 

Watch him. He is the controller of his own faith. He makes his luck and misfortune.

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talking to @mcintyrie​ sparked a desire to talk about Murphy’s canon divergences in my hands . ooops .👀

anyways, one of the things i’ve done with Murphy is that with his return to Camp Jaha and having been pardoned, comes the discovery of an abandoned Maine Coon kitten suffering deformities from years of radiation . 

in this case she has janus, which is the mutation of the face in the womb that gives them two heads sorta fused together to look like they have three eyes, and two mouths. Whether it’s functional or not is dependent. 

But

The reason I was hellbent on giving Murphy something to raise and fixate on so early in the series is the parallel between this abandoned kitten and Murphy’s own grief. 

while it’s not a carbon copy story, Murphy in everyway and right feels abandoned. not only was his father taken away from him over a cold that should have killed him ( remember he stole medicine for his one and only son, and the medicine turned out not to be the right one anyways ) but his mother grew to resent and blame him, abandoning him as well by taking her own life through abusing alcohol. 

giving Murphy this cat that is clearly supposed to die reflects his own inner turmoil. this grief he has never been given the opportunity to address. 

everyone talks about him and treats him like this kid who wasted a second opportunity at life but what kind of life is this where he’s left alone to fend for himself? 

i digress ( again )

anyways, Murphy hates the cat. he takes her in, chews raw meat for her to eat, carefully drips whatever milk he can get into her mouth, a rag soaked in for her to suck on until she can function on her own and throughout this he is incredibly mean in the way he describes her .

but she lives. she lives not just because Murphy sees her through it but because she fought and strove to survive. mirroring his own struggle and strive for survival.

she ends up fueling his want to exist in this world; to have a place and feel like he belongs. 

Bella becomes his greatest friend and companion and the one living breathing thing he trusts the most . goes as far as to take her on the field with him, a valuable asset in surveillance and combat.  ( Maine Coons are massive )

Bonus : Murphy names her Bella because he gets to call her Bell which allows him to irritate Bellamy, by making him look. 

Murphy : “Not you asshole. The better Bell.”

anyways, Bella below the cut because I love her and she’s precious . januse tw facial demformity tw  ( credit @hcmlock​ , who spoils me )

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acanthus // john murphy

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ? why or why not ?

Yes.

If it means he will make it to the next day, then why not? If it would save a life be it his own or someone else's’ that mattered to him, no hesitation.

Lying is a tool. It’s a skill. It’s what it going to guarantee him that tomorrow will come. 

Is he purposefully deceptive? I wouldn’t say so. There’s just no reason to show his hand in the very beginning. He’s like a puzzle you have to solve bit by bit.

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Angelica, oak, and poppy for Murphy

i hate you ❤️

angelica :   where does your muse draw inspiration in life ?   what motivates them ?

Easy. He doesn’t want to die and there has to be more than this to his life. The trajectory of his life has been shitty from the start. 

He was born on an ark with arbitrary rules that benefitted some and not others. He got sick, nearly died for it and his father who stole medicine for him was floated for it. His mother drank herself to death, blaming him for the death of his father (lovebird affect) and then he sentenced himself to a life in prison at the age of 13 for acting out against the system that took everything from him. 

To make it worse?

He was beaten by Pike as an example of no one can save you but yourself.

Then he’s sent to earth, gets a taste of freedom and is continuously tortured. Everyone hates him. No one likes him. 

There has to be more than this to his life.

oak :   who would your muse consider the strongest person they know ?  

At first I would have said Bellamy but Bellamy has proven to be no different than everyone else. He does not know how to admit his own mistakes or accept blame. 

I would have to say that Murphy considers Abby to be the strong person he knows. She keeps her personal feelings aside and does not let it cloud her judgment. She fixes you no matter what side you are on.

She is real and very much what she presents herself to be; no smoke and mirrors. Abby has had to make the toughest decisions in life from floating her husband and sending her one child to a radiation filled planet. 

Murphy would never disrespect her. 

She’s kind. She can be forgiving. She is what Murphy thinks people can be.

poppy :   what comforts your muse ?

Being alone.

And it isn’t because of a lack of a desire to socialize or be around people. It’s simply what he has known for a very long time. It’s like he’s putting himself in a self deprivation tank, so he can reset himself. 

Start over. Move on with fresh eyes.

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what type of love interest would you be in a dating simulator?   

The sarcastic fuckboy who secretely has a heart of gold

Upon first meeting you might seem insufferable, but it's only because you don't have time for what others might think of you. You're independent, confident, and you know what you want. That intimidates people, and you know it. But deep down you know it's all a show. You desire to be loved as much as any other person, but you don't want to get hurt and thus it's difficult for you to appear vulnerable to others. You'll try to mask your feelings with humor and aggressiveness when you feel someone might be getting too close to home. But those who have the patience to endure your cold exterior will be rewarded with the most caring and loyal person in their lives. You're the ride or die kind of type, and once you fall in love, you do it deeply and unconditionally.

------------------------------------------------------ [ John Murphy ]

The socially awkward brains of the team

Socialization doesn't come easy to you. You might struggle to be heard or seen by the ones around you so you prefer to avoid it all together, as frustrating as it can be sometimes. For that reason you might be selective with the people you blend with, and at times it might seem that nobody will truly understand you. But when you find those who resonate with you, you're an extremely kind and loyal friend. Most importantly, you're smart, and people always value that about you. They will constantly rely on you, ask for your guidance and advice, and you're happy to provide it. You like being the reliable friend. You don't get crushes easily, but when you do you don't really know how to handle them. They feel overwhelming and like a waste of time. There's no way they like me back, is it? What if I ruin it? What if I'm reading way too much into it? Remember to relax enjoy the feeling once in a while, chances are that your crush sees that intelligent and kindhearted person everyone else seen in you as well.

------------------------------------------------------ [ Severus Snape ]

tagged by: @faultyconscience​ <3

tagging: @hcmlock​ , @necrcmance​ , @glorytragedy​ , @demobaited​

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i gave john a mutated maine coon and my life has never been the same again . he named her bella . 🥺 and raised her from a kitten to the majestic cat she is today , 

deformed cat face tw , janus cat tw . illustrated by @hcmlock​ ❤️

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[ john murphy tags ]

ˏˋ°•⁀➷    JOHN MURPHY       *   IC      ‚   nine lives motherfucker .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   AESTHETIC      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   MUSINGS      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   HEADCANONS      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   PLEASURES      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   SELF      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   V : THE BEGINNING      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   V : THE MIDDLE      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   V : THE END      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .

ˏˋ°•⁀➷     JOHN MURPHY        *   FACE CLAIM      ‚   nine lives motherfucker  .