#× ↠ ❛ i broke the heart of my fate so that i could choose ❜ ↠ ( meme ) ×

[moosesarecute]

He’s my mate

This is my chaotic mess of a first fanfic. Hope you enjoy.

Not proofread and English is not my first language, so please don’t be too harsh 🫣

//////////////////////////

When Rhysand send Feyre and his sister Y/N on a mission, the last thing he expected was for his dear little sister to be poisoned by something not even Madja had a cure for.

“She looks terrified” Feyre said looking worried.

“You still can’t get through her mental shields?” Madja asked.

Rhys only shook his head. He usually found it comforting that his sister had such a strong mental shield, he knew that no one, not even himself, could get through them unless she wanted them to.

However, now it only worsens his worst nightmare.

“I’m so sorry, Rhys” Feyre said. “I don’t know what happened”.

Before Rhys could answer, the doors to the room opened and Azriel and Cassian rushed in with Mor and Amren not far behind.

Azriel’s face got pale as he saw his mate, sitting on the floor, her violet eyes staring at nothing and breathing heavily. She looked so scared, it broke his heart.

“What happened?” He said. His shadows were already swirling around his mate, carefully stroking her hair.

“Poison” Rhys answered. “We don’t know what the cure is.”

The inner circle had never seen Azriel as worried. Sure, Y/N had been hurt before, way too many times if you asked Rhys, but they had previously always known how to help her.

Azriel moved slowly towards his mate and sat down beside her. His scared hands were shaking as he tried waving his hand in front of her face, but she was still staring far into nothing.

“Maybe if you hold her, Rhysand can get through her mental shields,” Madja suggested. “She would feel safer.”

Slowly, Azriel moved to sit with his mate in between his legs, his arm around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder and his wings covering their bodies.

Y/N breath instantly slowed, but she continued to shake.

“Try now,” Madja said, looking at Rhys.

Rhys took a deep breath, shifted his focus and tried to enter his sisters mind.

He spent some time seeking, but he eventually found a small gap in her shields.

He slipped in, through her wall of purple dust, and immediately found traces from the poison.

Rhys followed the trace and before he knew it, he got pulled into his sister’s worst memories.

***********

“You are not to see him again” your father said. “You are to be married to the heir of Spring, can’t have you messing around with an Illyrian bastard! You disappoint me, Y/N”

You were burning with anger. All your life you wanted nothing more than to get your father’s attention. For him to look at you with pride for all you had accomplished.

You were powerful. You had daemati powers stronger than your brother, you had multiple times beaten Cassian in hand battle and you flew faster than Azriel.

Azriel, the male who had your heart. Your biggest supporter, your wisest mentor, your best friend…your mate.

The male your father was forbidding you to see.

“You can’t mean that!” You cried out. You were fighting tears. You couldn’t lose Azriel, but you knew that if you cried, your father would never take you seriously.

“Oh, but I do.” Your father replied, taunting you. “You’re a female, not only a daughter, but a high lords daughter. If you thought you could choose your own fate, you’re more pathetic than I thought.”

You realized that your father had made up his mind. You only had one more idea that might help you convince your father.

“He’s my mate” you whispered.

You whispered, not because you were afraid, but because you had only said it aloud two times before in the 20 years you had known.

Your father looking at you, staring deep into your soul. “What did you say?”

“Azriel is my mate.” You said louder. You lifted your head and straightened your back. You were proud of your mate and you were going to show it.

Your father started breathing heavily and before you could react, he grabbed you by your shoulders, and pushed you hard into the bookshelf behind you. He held you tightly and you hissed in both fear and pain.

“You are NOT to be mated to a bastard lesser fae. You are going through with this marriage and if you even think the thought about being with the shadowsinger, I will not hesitate in having him killed.”

You father let go of you and you sank to the floor, crying.

“Pathetic” your father said, before he left the room.

**************

You were in the woods, fighting for your life.

The heir of Spring held you down into the ground, cutting your wings.

Your vision were blurry and your eyes heavy.

“Please, don’t harm her” your mother pleaded. “You can do anything you want with me, but please not my daughter.”

The torture had been going on for hours. They would cut, beat and whip your mother and then do the same to you.

You had stopped screaming. Your cries for help became fewer and far in between. It just hurt to much.

“Hold her still.” The heir of Spring told his youngest brother. “I want a souvenir.”

He started cutting your wings from your body. You threw up and then screamed before you threw up again. Your left wing were detached from your back.

“This is taking too long” his father said as his son were close to finishing cutting of your second wing.

The high lord reached for the sword and you have never felt more terror.

“No, please don’t” you pleaded, trying to crawl over to your mother.

The heir of Spring, your betrothed, held your head in place and forced open your eyes as the high lord beheaded your mother.

You emptied your stomach once more before your froze completely.

“We have to leave, finish her.”

The heir of spring grabbed what was left of your right wing and used his foot to keep you down as he ripped the wing from your body.

He then grabbed you and forced you over to your back.

“Let her bleed out.”

All of them winnowed away.

You laid on the ground, trying and failing to move over to your stomach. You were dying, you knew that.

As your eyes closed, you felt a tug in your chest and the last thing you did before you passed out was to tug back with all the force you had to give.

/////////////////////////

Rhys left his sister’s mind and immediately threw up. Feyre was at his side at once.

“What did you see?” Cassian asked.

Rhys only met Azriel’s eyes as he said “she’s reliving her worst memories.”

No one spoke for a while, but everyone could sense Azriel’s growing worry. He held his mate closer and whispered into her ear “you’re safe. You survived. You’re home. We’re mated.”

“I have only read about this in books.” Madja said. “I think the only way to stop the poison from spreading further is to make Y/N understand how happy she truly is. If not, she will die from terror.”

Madja walked over to Rhysand. “What did you see?”

“She wouldn’t want any of us to know that.” Azriel said.

“I know, it is invasive, but it might be the only way to save her.” Rhys said and after a while Azriel nodded in agreement. He would do anything to save his mate.

“I saw our father forbidding her to be with Azriel and…” Rhys stopped and took big breath. “And the attack where Spring…killed our mother.”

Everybody froze as they realized Rhys had just seen his own mother die. Feyre took his hand and squeezed it. A way of saying “I am here.”

Madja was the first to move. This time she walked over to Azriel. “You need to show Rhysand your happiest memories with Y/N so that he can enter her mind and show it to her.”

Even though Rhys was still filled with worry, he had an amusing smile on his face.

His sister and Azriel had been mated for over 450 years. They accepted the bond when she was 56 and he was 63 after two years of being together.

However, they usually kept every detail of their relationship secret. They didn’t even tell anyone that they were mates, they just disappeared for two weeks and showed up mated.

They always say they keep the details to themselves because of their occupations. Both being spies for the Night Court.

The inner circle knew that they wouldn’t share details, but they still always asked. Mor asked about their sex-life (Rhys always left the room when that was the topic), Cassian asked about when they would host family dinner at their house (Y/N would make one of their mother’s favorite recipes) and Rhys just wanted to make sure his sister was treated right.

“You don’t have to worry, Rhys,” you always answered. “Just because we don’t scream it from the House of Wind it doesn’t mean we aren’t happy.”

Azriel spent some time thinking about what memories he was going to show, but he eventually told Rhys he was ready.

“I am showing you,” he said. “You are not going to wander around in there.”

“Of course,” Rhys said and walked over to sit in front of his sister and Azriel.

Azriel’s mind shields were down. Rhys entered his mind and waited for the memories.

————————

I am exhausted, but happy. We won the blood rite. It had been the hardest week of my life so far, but we had won.

My brothers and I were walking towards our home in Windhaven. Before we could reach the entrance, the door flew open and out Y/N came running.

Y/N was Rhys’ 16 year old sister and she looked extremely happy.

“Thank the cauldron you are alright!” She spoke and basically jumped at Rhys.

He just laughed and hugged her.

“She is not happy to see us,” Cassian said to me.

“Of course I am!” She said and moved to hug Cassian. “It is just that Rhysie was the closest.”

“Stop calling me that,” Rhys said.

“Never”

She than moved over to me. And I felt time stop. Her arms embraced me and I hugged her back, but as she pulled back and looked me in my eyes, I felt it.

Snap

Y/N, my best friend’s younger sister, the daughter of the high lord of the Night Court, was my mate. My heart was filled with happiness.

Her eyes were as big as mine and I understood that it had snapped for her too.

“Ehm…” she said. “Dinner is ready inside.”

She then turned around and walked inside.

——————————

“I can’t believe he isn’t here,” Y/N cried into my chest. “It’s my 30th birthday and our father refuses me to see him! It’s not fair!”

I tightened my arms around her. It broke my heart to see her this upset.

Rhys and her had planed this entire day. They were going to fly around the mountains, have a picnic in the woods outside Velaris and then go to Rita’s with Cassian, Mor and I.

But the war was raging and Rhys nor Cassian were allowed to come home.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” I said, but I knew that it didn’t help much.

“I wish I had a normal father so that I could rebel and be awful towards him without it being treason,” she said.

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t,” I said. “I don’t think his old heart could take it.”

She look at me with her big violet eyes and before I knew it we were both laughing. Probably because of the two empty wine bottles that stood beside us.

“You always know what to say to make me laugh,” she laughed. “That’s probably why we’re mates.”

I froze.

It was 14 years ago the bond snapped, but neither one of us had ever said it aloud…until now.

“Good night,” Y/N said quickly, before she jumped of the roof we sat on and flew away.

The smile that grew on my face lasted for multiple days.

————————

“You only have a couple of hours, so spend it well.”

I nodded and left Rhys’ and Y/N’s mother.

I quickly walked over to Y/N bedroom and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” she sang and I opened the door. “Azriel…you know you can’t be here! If the high lord finds out you-“

“He won’t find out, I asked your mother for help,” I said.

She gaped at me and then smiled her big, beautiful and sweet smile.

“We have to go now though, we only have a few hours.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” I say as we start flying up to the mountains.

The flight didn’t take much time and we were soon at the picnic I had set up earlier.

“Wow,” Y/N said. “It’s beautiful.”

I really wasn’t. It was rushed. I had plucked a few flowers, brought a blanket to sit on and her mother had made us some food.

“I wanted us to at least have a day to pretend,” I said quietly.

“Let’s make it the best day ever,” she whispered back. “No arranged marriage to separate us.”

I took her hand and we sat down to eat.

We talked about what we wanted our life to be like. Life in Velaris, in a small house, at least two children (“No Y/N can grow up without a Rhysie,” you had said), a big garden, many flowers.

“I don’t want to marry the heir of Spring,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I want you.”

I took her hand. My shadows were playing with her hair and speaking to me “mate, upset, make mate happy”

“I want you too, princess,” I replied fighting back tears.

I looked deep into her eyes, took my other hand and tucked her hair behind her ears. “My beautiful mate. I am the luckiest male in all of Prythian even if I can’t have you in this lifetime.”

Now we were both crying.

She then let go of my hand and held up her pinky finger.

“All other lifetimes?” She asked me.

I immediately took her pinky in mine.

“All other lifetimes.”

Two small identical tattoos appeared round our pinky fingers.

I moved closer to her and she did the same. We both spend some time looking at each other, still crying, before we leaned into each other and our lips met.

It started soft and cute before it grew hungrier. We were both full on sobbing at the time I pulled away.

“Are you sure?” I asked, hoping she would say yes. I waited for her answer.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life,” she answered and kissed me.

——————————

“I can sleep on the floor,” I said.

We were on a mission on the continent undercover as mates. Pretending to be mates weren’t hard since we were mates, but Rhys didn’t know that.

“Ha, you’re funny,” Y/N said. “Either we share the bed or we both sleep on the floor.”

We were trying to find out if the rumors we heard about a war starting on the continent were true. To our relief, it seemed like it only was a rumor and nothing more.

Since we were undercover as newly mated we had gotten a room with only one bed.

“We’ll take the bed then,” I decided. “Can’t have you hurting your back.”

Y/N froze and looked at me. “How did you know about my back pain?”

Shit

“I…ehmmm…”

She looked at me with wary eyes. “Have you been spying on me?”

“Of course not,” I said. “I just…feel it sometimes.”

She looked like she had seen a ghost. “I didn’t realize. I’m sorry, Azriel. I should have thought about that.”

She looked at me, but didn’t meet my eyes.

As mates, I sometimes felt the same emotions or feelings as she did. And I had realized that after the attack on her and her mother ten years ago, she had been dealing with back pain.

“It that why it always magically appears a bottle of pain relief outside my door on the bad days?” Y/N asked me, now looking directly into my eyes and soul.

“I might have had something to do with that, yes.”

She nodded as a reply.

That was the end of the conversation. We prepared for bed. After we both had gotten into the bed, her on the left side, me on the right with my wings hanging out in the side of the bed, she started crying.

“I’m sorry for shutting you out all these years,” she cried.

I didn’t know what to say or do. I just laid completely still and looked at her.

Slowly, my shadows moved towards her. One of them dried her tears while two others played with her hair. I tried to stop them and get them back to me, but they didn’t listen. “Mate, upset, have to make mate happy.” they said on repeat.

“I didn’t think you could even want me anymore,” she continued. “I would understand if you didn’t, of course. I’m not who I just to be, I’m not myself. But then Rhys forced me to start going on missions again last year and I realized how much I missed having my family around. I felt more alone than ever. And when I started going to family dinners and Rhys told me how happy you were, I realized I hadn’t thought about what you were feeling through all of this. I completely ignored you, left you and you probably felt and still feel so betrayed. I…I’m so sorry, Az.”

I was still frozen. How could she think that was how I felt? I never felt betrayed by her, thought she felt betrayed by me. I’m her mate for cauldrons sake! And I almost let her die. She lost her wings, she would never fly again. I was too late to save her wings.

“Say something, master. Make mate happy. You can make mate happy.” My shadows almost screamed in my ears.

“I…,” I started to speak but had to stop. I needed to get this right. “I never felt betrayed by you not being the same you as you were before the attack, Y/N. You needed time to heal. We could have helped you to get better, but we knew that if we forced ourselves into your life, you would shut us out and it would all become worse. You are way too stubborn for that.” We both chuckled. “You have grown. You’re not longer just a high lord’s daughter who had to do everything your father said, you’re Y/N. You’re Y/N, the female that always asks what’s for dessert even before we have started to eat dinner. You’re Y/N, who always do everything you can to annoy your brothers. You’re Y/N, you’re always brutally honest and we love you for it. I love you for it.

“If you hadn’t had time for yourself, you wouldn’t have time to figure out that you don’t like the color orange, or that you wanted to dye your hair purple streaks, or that you like training in the morning so that you can enjoy your book at night.

“As long as I’m allowed to be in your life now, I’m happy. Even if we’re just friends or family. I just need you to be yourself. It’s the Y/N you’re now that we love.”

Her mouth was wide open. Then it closed before she opened it again.

“I never think I’ve heard you say that much before.” She said with a small laugh.

“I don’t think I have ever said that much before.”

“I want you in my life,” she said. “I have loved pretending to be your mate. I…I don’t want to pretend that you’re mine, I want you to be mine.”

Before I even could react, my shadows were swirling around us, pushing us closer to one another until our lips were only millimeters apart.

“Can I kiss you?” she asked.

I kissed her as an answer. My heart had never felt so full of love.

——————————

It had been a long day with meetings in the court of nightmares. I had my usual place, standing against the wall and making sure no one was lurking around.

My mate had left her usual place, standing beside her brother, and was walking over to me.

“The high lord will soon be going home,” she told me, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking around the room, still very much playing the role as the scary night court princess.

I then felt her soft touch on my mental shields, asking for access. I let her in.

“I was planing on making an apple pie this weekend, at the cabin,” she told me. Her voice was shaky. She was nervous. “Or if you want something else I can make something else. Or if you don’t want nothing at all we can just-“

“Apple pie would be great,” I answer, my voice almost as shaky as hers.

“Good,” she said and left my mind.

She gave me I small smile before she walked back to her place beside her brother.

“I love my mate,” was all I was able to think about.

—————————

“And then he used his shadows to make me fall over!” Cassian explained. “Totally unfair.”

“It seems like you have had a rough day, Cass. Did you miss your midday nap?” Mor asked him.

She then looked at me and lifted her wine glass “cheers to that.”

I lifted my glass and held it up to my lips as I felt it.

It couldn’t be.

I wouldn’t believe it.

But then I felt it again. A tug.

I lowered my glass.

“Everything okey, brother?” Cassian looked concerned.

Another tug and then a soft touch to my mental shield had me gasping.

My heart was going crazy.

I lowered my mental shields.

“You could at least have cleaned the place,” my mate’s voice sang in my head.

I let the glass fall to the floor and before my brother could react I ran to the balcony and started flying towards my mate and I’s shared house.

I hadn’t been there in 50 years. Ever since my mate and Rhys had been under the mountain, I hadn’t been able to even look at our house. Our small cottage with just enough space for the two of us. And a spare room for Cassian, of course.

The flight only took 30 seconds, but it was the longest 30 seconds of my life. I tried not to get my hopes up. What if she wasn’t actually there?

I landed in your garden and ran towards an open front door.

I stopped, too scared to go inside. What if I only imagined it all.

My shadows went crazy around me, pulling both my hands and legs. “Mate, home, mate, home”.

Tears ran down my face as I walked through the door.

Standing in the middle of the room was my beautiful mate. She was way too thin, her hair was a mess and she started sobbing as she saw me.

Before I could reach her she fell to her knees. I fell to my knees in front of her and embraced her together with my shadows.

“You’re home,” I cried.

“I’m home,” she whispered into my chest.

——————————

“You’re staring,” Y/N said into my head.

We had just sat down to eat dinner. Our entire family was here and we had just met Feyre.

“I’m sorry that I like to look at my wife,” I answered. “You look beautiful.”

I took my her plate and filled it with food.

“It’s cute that you still feed me,” Y/N spoke. “I like it, husband.”

“Should we tell them?” I asked.

“Maybe not overwhelm Feyre. I think Mor and Cassian is going to freak out when they find out we didn’t invite them to our wedding.”

“But we didn’t invite anyone.”

The truth was that they on a whim had eloped, just over an hour ago.

“What are you talking about you two lovebirds?” Mor asked.

“Nothing,” both of us said.

Y/N quickly shifted the conversation by asking “Soooo, what’s for dessert.”

Everybody laughed.

////////////////////

Rhys left Azriel’s mind. Both males were crying.

“I had no clue you were that young.” Rhys said. “And that you fought so hard for it.”

Azriel just nodded and tightened his arms around his mate. Y/N was now shaking even worse than before. She looked extremely pale and exhausted. “Just get her back to me, I’ll tell our entire story from start to now, as long as you get her back to me.”

Rhys saw the desperate look on his brother’s face and hurried to enter his sister’s mind.

He was met with a wall of terror, not even one trace of his sister’s normal calm mind. He began working, pushing memory after memory towards the wall and slowly but surely watched it disappear.

Then he was forcefully pulled out of her mind.

“You’re okay, breathe, breathe, good girl,” Azriel spoke.

Y/N was now on her hands and knees, still panting and shaking, but she was moving. She had thrown up, but Rhys removed it with magic. Azriel held a hand on her back and held her hair.

He looked extremely relieved.

“Are you okey?” Rhys asked.

Y/N met his worried gaze and moved over to him.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Rhysie.”

Rhys didn’t waste a second embracing his sister.

The rest of the inner circle slowly left the room, they understood that the siblings needed some time alone.

But, of course, all of Azriel’s shadows stayed to make sure their mate was alright.

———————

Azriel was waiting outside the room. He knew Y/N was alright and that she would come get him when she’s ready, but he just wanted to hold her and never let go.

“Well, well brother,” Cassian said with a smug smile.

“What?” He asked.

“You said you’d tell the entire story of your relationship. So I figured you could start now.”

The doors to the room opened and out walked Y/N and Rhys.

“Why not start explaining that your bond snapped when Y/N was just a teen and that you have been married for multiple years, hmm?” Rhys said and you punched him in the arm.

“WHAT?” Cassian and Mor yelled.

A quick look was shared between Azriel and Y/N before both of them took off running and before the others could react, they had winnowed away.

[kckt88]

Perzys se ānogar II

Summary:

In the aftemath of Rooks Rest, Aemond arrives on Dragonstone to bend the knee but tensions soon erupt when Vaeda stands against her family to defend her husbands life.

Warnings - Angst, Drama, Langauage, Disagreements, Vulnerability, Confessions, Death Threats, Imprisonment, Physical Violence, Uncle/Niece Incest, Kissing, Smut, Oral Sex (M & F Recieving), P in V, Breeding Kink, Referenced Character Death,

AEMOND TARGARYEN x O.C NIECE

Perzys se ānogar - Fire and Blood.

Word Count: 7800

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8

"Aemond Targaryen, you stand before me charged with high treason and murder. How do you plead?" said Rhaenyra, her voice firm and commanding.

Aemond lifted his head, meeting Rhaenyra's gaze. "Guilty, Your Grace-" he replied, his voice steady but laced with sorrow.

Rhaenyra's eyes narrowed slightly as she leaned forward. "Do you have anything to say in your defence?"

Aemond took a deep breath, his eyes flickering to Vaeda for a moment before returning to Rhaenyra. "There is nothing I can say to excuse my treason. I helped to steal our father’s throne-as for what happened to Luke-” His voice broke slightly, but he continued, "-It was an accident. I never meant to kill him, I lost control and I-I’m sorry."

“Lost control?” asked Rhaenyra.

“All I wanted was his eye-in payment for the one that he took from me, but he refused. After he left, I chased after him. I just wanted to scare him, to make him feel as helpless as he made me feel that night on Driftmark. I lost sight of him and was about to turn back when Arrax attacked Vhagar, I could hear Luke shouting, but Arrax wouldn’t listen. Vhagar was angry and she lashed out-I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen”

The room fell silent, the weight of his confession hanging heavy in the air. Vaeda's eyes were filled with a mixture of sorrow and hope, her hands clenched at her sides. Jace's face was a mask of barely controlled anger, while Baela, Rhaenys, and Corlys watched with guarded expressions.

Rhaenyra's gaze bore into Aemond, assessing him. "You claim it was an accident," she said slowly, "-Yet my son is dead, and your actions have plunged this realm into chaos and war."

Aemond nodded, his expression pained. "I know that, and I am prepared to face the consequences of my actions. But I ask, Your Grace, to consider my regret and my willingness to stand here before you, confessing my guilt."

Rhaenyra's eyes flickered to Vaeda, who stepped forward, her voice steady. "Mother, Aemond is willing to bend the knee, to swear his loyalty to you and to your cause. He came here knowing the risk, but he did so because he wanted to make things right."

Rhaenyra's gaze softened slightly as she looked at her daughter, then back at Aemond. The tension in the room was palpable as everyone awaited her decision.

Finally, she spoke. "-You have confessed to your crimes and expressed your regret and while I cannot bring back my son, I can choose to show mercy. Your fate will be decided by myself and my counsel, until then you will be held as my prisoner-take him to the cells."

As the guards moved to take Aemond away, Vaeda watched, her heart heavy. The sound of the chains echoed around the throne room, a haunting melody of loss and regret. Aemond's eye found hers one last time, and he whispered, "Avy jorrāelan ābrazȳrys" (I love you, wife).

Once Aemond had disappeared and the doors were firmly shut, Rhaenyra turned her attention to Vaeda. "What exactly happened at Rook's Rest?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing.

Vaeda took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Lord Staunton was under siege by the Greens' forces, led by Criston Cole. I had Cannibal burn as many of them as I could. But then Aegon arrived with Sunfyre, and we engaged each other in aerial combat."

The council members exchanged concerned glances, the tension in the room palpable.

Vaeda continued, "Then Aemond arrived with Vhagar, and he directed her towards Aegon and attacked him."

Gasps of shock rippled through the council. Rhaenyra's eyes widened in disbelief. "Aemond attacked his own brother?"

Vaeda nodded. "Yes, Sunfyre fell from the sky and whilst I could have fled, I knew that getting rid of Vhagar was a chance I could not pass up. So, I had Cannibal attack. The two dragons fought and were evenly matched. They crashed into the ground, and I was thrown from the saddle."

Rhaenyra, still seated on her rock-carved throne, leaned forward. "Then what happened?" she asked, her voice firm but laced with curiosity.

Vaeda took a deep breath before continuing. "I regained consciousness and discovered Aemond injured. I could have left him to die, but I didn't."

Jace scoffed loudly, "You should have left him to die."

Rhaenyra shot him a silencing glare. "Continue-"

"I saved Aemond's life," Vaeda said. "We talked—he told me what happened that night in the skies above Storm's End, and why he attacked Aegon. He also killed Cole to protect me."

Jace's eyes narrowed. "That's not all he did, given the love bite on your neck."

Vaeda blushed deeply, but she held her ground. She turned back to her mother, who shook her head in disbelief. Jace wasn't finished, though, his anger bubbling over. "So Aemond tries to kill his own brother, then sets his dragon upon his own wife, and she not only saves his life but fucks him in the forest like some animal."

"It wasn't like that," Vaeda protested, her voice rising. "Aemond thought that by coming here, he would be executed. We thought it might be the last time-”

“Vaeda-” muttered Rhaenyra, her voice soft yet firm.

“Muña kostilus, ziry emagon issa prūmia, ziry iksos issa idañnykeā perzys” (Mother please, he has my heart, he is my twin flame).

“Jāhor bona lua zirȳla pazavor?” asked Rhaenyra (Will that keep him loyal).

“Ziry jāhor, nyke kivio” exclaimed Vaeda (It will, I promise).

Jace sniggered angrily, but Baela elbowed him in the ribs, silencing him.

Rhaenyra looked at her daughter with a mix of emotions. "Vaeda, your loyalty to Aemond complicates things. His actions have caused great pain to our family, and yet you speak on his behalf."

Vaeda's eyes welled with tears. "Mother, I know what he has done is unforgivable, but he is still my husband and the father of my child. He came here to make things right. He deserves a chance to atone."

Rhaenyra sighed deeply, the weight of her crown pressing heavily on her. "Vaeda, this war has torn us apart, and every decision we make carries immense consequences. Aemond must remain in the cells until we decide his fate. But I will consider what you’ve said”

Vaeda nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. "Thank you, Mother."

Rhaenyra looked to her council. "We will meet in the council chambers on the morrow to discuss our next steps. Vaeda, you may return to your chambers and bathe-I will send Maester Gerardys to check on your injuries”

Freshly bathed, Vaeda sat quietly in her chambers as Maester Gerardys examined her injuries. Rhaegar sat on a blanket at her feet, playing with his toys.

Gerardys’ experienced hands moved carefully over her bruised ribs, noting the few minor scrapes.

"You've a small but deep wound on your forehead, Princess," Gerardys said gently, his fingers probing the area with care. "It will require stitches; I can prescribe milk of-"

"-No" replied Vaeda, her voice steady despite the pain.

"As you wish." Gerardys prepared his needle and thread, his movements precise and practiced. He began stitching the wound, his touch delicate yet firm. Vaeda winced but bore the pain silently, her gaze fixed on a distant point, the sounds of Rhaegar happily playing filtered through the air.

As he worked, Gerardys noticed the love bites on her neck. He paused briefly, then continued stitching. "Princess, do you require moon tea?" he asked, his tone respectful.

"No, thank you," Vaeda replied softly as she placed a hand on her stomach.

After a moment of silence, Vaeda's thoughts spilled forth. "Do you think I'm crazy for defending Aemond after everything he's done?"

Gerardys paused in his work, meeting her eyes with a kind and thoughtful expression. "Princess, I have known you since you were a small child. Not once have I ever thought you were crazy. Stubborn, yes, but never crazy."

His words brought a small, grateful smile to her lips. He finished stitching the wound and carefully tied off the thread, ensuring the stitches were secure. "There, all done," he said, stepping back to admire his work. "Do you require anything else?"

Vaeda shook her head. "No, thank you".

He nodded and gathered his supplies. "Rest well, Princess. Call on me if you need anything."

As Gerardys left the room, Vaeda leaned back in her chair watching as Rhaegar still played contentedly with his toys on the floor, his silver hair shimmering in the candlelight.

Suddenly, a distant, deep grumbling roar echoed through the air, causing Rhaegar to look up, his bright eyes wide with recognition. "Vhagar," he said, pointing towards the window.

Vaeda nodded, her smile bittersweet. "Yes, darling."

Rhaegar's face lit up with excitement. "Daddy here?" he asked eagerly.

Vaeda took a deep breath, her heart heavy. "Yes, he is."

"I want see daddy," Rhaegar said, pulling himself to his feet. He toddled towards the door; his small hands outstretched. "Daddy!"

“Rhaegar-we can’t” whispered Vaeda as she quickly scooped him up, holding him close as he buried his face in her neck.

"Pease, mummy—want see daddy," pleaded Rhaegar, his voice muffled and tearful.

Vaeda stroked his silver hair, her resolve wavering. "Alright, my sweet. I will take you to see your daddy, but you must be very quiet. Can you do that for me?"

Rhaegar sniffled but nodded, his tiny hands clutching his stuffed dragon teddy tightly. "Yes, mummy. Quiet."

With a deep breath, Vaeda adjusted Rhaegar in her arms and headed out the door. She moved silently through the dimly lit corridors of Dragonstone, her heart pounding with each step. The castle was eerily quiet, the shadows long and foreboding.

Vaeda held Rhaegar close as she descended the winding staircase towards the cells. The stone walls emitting a soft warmth as she passed.

Rhaegar clung to her, his small fingers gripping the fabric of her dress. His amethyst eyes looked around curiously, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings with a mix of wonder and apprehension.

As they approached the cell, Vaeda saw two guards standing watch. She walked towards them, her heart pounding. The guards stepped forward, blocking her path.

"You are not allowed to be here by order of the Queen," one of them said sternly.

Vaeda took a deep breath, her eyes pleading. "Please, just for a few minutes. Rhaegar wants to see his father."

The guards exchanged uncertain glances, clearly torn between their orders and the heartfelt request. After a moment, one of them spoke. "You have five minutes. No more."

Vaeda thanked them with a relieved nod as they unlocked the heavy door and moved aside. She stepped into the dimly lit cell, her heart aching at the sight before her.

Aemond was chained to the wall, his face turned towards the small window, the faint light casting shadows across his sharp features.

"Daddy!" Rhaegar's voice broke the silence, filled with pure joy.

Aemond turned at the sound, a smile breaking across his weary face. "Byka zaldrīzes" he breathed; his voice choked with emotion (Little dragon).

Vaeda set Rhaegar down, and the little boy ran to his father, throwing his small arms around Aemond's neck as best as he could.

"Miss you, Daddy," he said, his voice muffled against Aemond's tunic.

Aemond struggled against the chains, the metal clinking as he tried to move his arms. But the chains were too short, preventing him from fully embracing his son.

"I miss you too" he said, his voice thick with emotion. He managed to lower his head and press a kiss to Rhaegar's hair, his eye shining with unshed tears.

Vaeda stood by the door, watching the scene with a heavy heart. She knew their time was limited, and every second felt precious. Rhaegar looked up at his father, his small face full of concern. "Daddy, why you here?"

Aemond sighed, his gaze shifting to Vaeda for a moment before returning to his son. "Daddy made some bad choices-”

Rhaegar nodded solemnly, not fully understanding. He nestled closer to Aemond, his little hands clutching at his father's tunic.

Vaeda stepped forward, her voice soft. "We have to go soon, Rhaegar."

Rhaegar looked up, his eyes pleading. "No, mummy. Stay with daddy."

Vaeda's heart broke a little more at his words. She knelt beside them, placing a gentle hand on Rhaegar's back. "We can't stay, but we'll see daddy again soon”.

Rhaegar nodded and then quickly pressed his stuffed dragon teddy into Aemond’s hands, the soft fabric contrasting sharply with the cold metal of the chains.

“Keep, daddy. Safe,” said Rhaegar.

Aemond’s eye widened, as he clutched the stuffed dragon close a single tear slid down his cheek, glistening in the dim light.

Rhaegar reached up and wiped the tear away with his tiny hand. “No cry, Daddy,” he said softly, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Aemond’s cheek.

Aemond looked at Vaeda, his eye filled with gratitude and sorrow. "Thank you," he whispered.

Vaeda nodded, her own eyes glistening with tears. She stood and lifted Rhaegar into her arms, the little boy protesting weakly. "We have to go now, my love."

As they turned to leave, Aemond's voice stopped them. "Rhaegar, be a good boy for your mother? I love you both so very much."

Rhaegar nodded; his face buried in Vaeda's shoulder. “Love you daddy”

Vaeda carried Rhaegar out of the cell, the door closing behind them with a heavy thud.

Later that night, Vaeda woke with a start. She could have sworn she heard Aemond's voice calling out to her in the darkness. As she sat up, straining to listen, her attention was captured by the sound of Vhagar roaring in the distance, followed by the unmistakable high-pitched whistle of her father's dragon, Caraxes. A cold dread settled in her chest. Something was wrong.

Pulling on a robe, Vaeda ran down the halls towards the cells. As she approached, she noticed the guards were conspicuously absent, replaced by the sounds of pained groans. Her heart pounded as she flung open the door to Aemond's cell.

Inside, she found her father, Daemon, his fist connecting brutally with Aemond's face. Blood spattered the cold stone floor.

"Stop!" Vaeda screamed, rushing between them. She placed herself protectively in front of Aemond, who was slumped against the wall, blood trickling from his nose and mouth.

Daemon's eyes blazed with fury. "Move, Vaeda. Let me deal with the kinslayer. This boy killed your brother. He deserves to pay for his crimes."

Vaeda stood her ground, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and determination. "If that is the case, then you should pay for yours. You may not have taken the blade to young Jaehaerys' neck, but you paid the men who did."

Daemon's face contorted with rage. "That was a mistake"

"Leave Aemond alone," Vaeda insisted, her voice steadying. "It is for the Queen to decide his fate."

Daemon snarled, his eyes narrowing at his daughter. After a tense moment, he stormed out of the cell, his heavy footsteps echoing in the corridor. Vaeda exhaled shakily, turning to see the guards had returned, their expressions conflicted.

"Unlock his chains," she demanded. When they hesitated, she added, "By order of the princess, or I will have you fed to Cannibal."

The threat worked. The guards moved quickly, freeing Aemond from his bonds. He slumped forward, barely able to stand. Vaeda reached out, helping him to his feet.

"Lean on me," she whispered, her voice soft but firm. "I'm taking you to my chambers."

Aemond nodded weakly, his body trembling with pain and exhaustion. As they made their way out of the cell, Vaeda cast a final, defiant glance at the guards, who quickly averted their eyes. If they wouldn’t do their job and guard Aemond then she would do it for them.

They moved slowly through the darkened corridors, Aemond leaning heavily on Vaeda. She could feel the tension in his muscles, the unspoken gratitude and vulnerability. When they finally reached her chambers, Vaeda helped him to the bed, gently easing him down.

"Thank you," Aemond whispered, his voice rough.

Vaeda sat beside him, her hand resting on his. "You're safe now," she said softly. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

The next day, Vaeda left Aemond in her chambers, having summoned Maester Gerardys to assess his injuries. The maester had cleaned and dressed the previously cauterized wound on Aemond's stomach and reset his broken nose, whilst administering a dose of milk of the poppy to ease his pain.

Now, Aemond slept soundly, his breathing even and steady. Vaeda took a deep breath, steeling herself for the council meeting that would decide Aemond's fate.

As she entered the council chamber, the room fell silent. Rhaenyra sat at the head of the table, her face stern and regal. Daemon, Jace, Baela, Rhaenys, Corlys, and the other lords were present, their expressions a mix of concern and determination.

Rhaenyra's eyes softened for a moment as she gazed upon her daughter "Vaeda, I have talked extensively with my council, and we all agree that it's too much of a risk to allow Aemond to live”

“Are you being serious?” exclaimed Vaeda.

“I’m sorry-but his past actions have proven that he can't be trusted” explained Rhaenyra.

Vaeda scoffed, her frustration boiling over. "Like you can stand there and talk about trust after all the lies you've told. The consequences of which stand before you, in the form of your children."

A shocked silence fell over the room. Rhaenyra's eyes widened in disbelief. Daemon's face darkened as he commanded, "Be mindful of how you speak to your Queen"

“Or else what?” challenged Vaeda.

“I shall have you punished” threatened Daemon.

“Wonderful-” mocked Vaeda clapping her hands together.

“Carry on and you will suffer the consequences-or your kinslayer husband will” snarled Daemon.

Vaeda's eyes flashed with defiance. "You dare after all the trouble you've caused over the years, and yet you dare to label Aemond a kinslayer when you're guilty of the exact same thing?"

Daemon slammed his fist down on the table, rising from his seat with fury. He charged toward Vaeda, his hand wrapping around her throat. "You know nothing of what I'm truly capable of” he hissed.

Vaeda smirked, her voice steady despite the pressure on her throat. "Oh, I know exactly what you're capable of."

Daemon felt a pinching sensation in his side, and he looked down to see the dagger Vaeda had pressed into his side.

“A bold move daughter-” said Daemon smiling, almost as if he was impressed.

"Stand down, both of you. NOW!" Rhaenyra's voice cut through the tension, commanding and firm.

Vaeda put the dagger back inside her sleeve as she stood before her mother, the anger still seething within her. "-This is all your fault," she began, her voice shaking with emotion. "Maybe if you had remained in King's Landing and actually spent time solidifying your position as heir instead of hiding away on Dragonstone, it wouldn't have been so easy to usurp you and maybe if you had bonded with your siblings instead of scorning them, our house wouldn't be so divided."

Rhaenyra's eyes widened in shock, but Vaeda didn't stop there. "And maybe if you had made Luke apologize for slashing out Aemond's eye, he might still be alive. You’ve helped to sow the seeds of discord, and now we’re the one’s dealing the consequences. But I will not stand by and let you sentence Aemond to death-"

"Vaeda," Rhaenyra started, her voice strained, but Vaeda cut her off.

"No! There has to be another way”

The room fell silent, the tension palpable. Rhaenyra's face was a mask of pain and regret. "Vaeda, I never wanted any of this," she said softly. "But we have to think of the realm. Aemond's actions have threatened our cause and the lives of our people."

Vaeda's eyes filled with tears, but she stood firm. "And what about my family? What about Rhaegar growing up without his father? What about me, losing the man I love? There has to be another way. Because if you give that order, then I swear you will never see me or Rhaegar again"

“You are heir to the Iron Throne” muttered Jace.

“FUCK THE IRON THRONE!” declared Vaeda savagely.

Rhaenyra looked at her daughter, the weight of her words sinking in. She saw the determination and pain in Vaeda's eyes, and it broke her heart. "I don't want to lose you," she whispered.

"Then don't make me choose-because it will be him. It will always be him" Vaeda replied, her voice trembling.

Rhaenyra took a deep breath, her expression firm yet sorrowful. "I cannot trust Aemond, this you know" she began, her voice steady. "But I will not lose my only daughter." She paused, searching Vaeda's eyes for understanding. “Aemond may keep his life, but he is to remain on Dragonstone for the rest of his days."

Vaeda's breath caught in her throat, but she said nothing, waiting for her mother to continue.

"And when the time comes for you to be crowned Queen," Rhaenyra continued, her tone resolute, "Aemond will not sit beside you as your Consort King. You will rule the Seven Kingdoms on your own, until your son ascends the throne after your natural passing"

Vaeda stood before her mother, heart pounding. She knew how much was at stake. The fate of her husband and the future of her family rested on her next words. She took a deep, shuddering breath, her decision weighing heavily on her.

"Alright," she said, her voice barely above a whisper at first, but then she found her strength. "I agree to your conditions”

Rhaenyra nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and relief. "I know this isn't easy, but it's the only way."

Vaeda's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts as she made her way back to her chambers. How would Aemond react? Would he understand the necessity of this compromise? Her heart ached at the thought of telling him, but she knew it was either this or see him executed and she couldn't bear the latter.

Entering her chambers, she found Aemond still resting, his face peaceful in sleep. She approached quietly, not wanting to startle him. Sitting beside him, she gently took his hand in hers, waiting for him to wake.

Aemond stirred, his eye fluttering open. He looked up at her, confusion and concern evident in his gaze. "Vaeda?" he murmured.

"Aemond," she said softly, squeezing his hand.

He sat up slowly, wincing slightly at the pain from his injuries. "What is it?"

Vaeda took another deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation. "My mother has made her decision-”

“Am I to meet the stranger?” asked Aemond quietly.

“That was to be your fate, but I managed to convince my mother otherwise-” replied Vaeda as she reached forward and tucked a lose strand of Aemond’s long silver hair behind his ear.

“How?”

“I told her that if she ordered your execution then she would never see me or Rhaegar ever again. Plus, I may have told her a few home truths whilst I was at it, and I might have gone slightly overboard-” said Vaeda smiling sheepishly.

“Hmmm”

“A compromise was reached. You will be allowed to live, but you must stay on Dragonstone for the remainder of your days and when I become Queen, you will not be my Consort King. I will rule alone."

Aemond's eye widened slightly, processing her words. Silence stretched between them as he absorbed the news.

Finally, he nodded, his expression a mixture of relief and resignation. "I understand," he said quietly. "If it means that I can stay with you and Rhaegar, then it doesn’t matter”

 “No matter what-you will always be Issa dārys” (My King).

“Issa dāria-” muttered Aemond (My Queen).

"Sounds like someone is hungry," teased Vaeda at the sound of Aemond’s stomach growling.

“Little bit” replied Aemond.

“I'll go request some food for you” said Vaeda as she started to move from the bed.

But before she could get far, Aemond's hand shot out, gently taking hold of her wrist. "I'm not hungry for food," he said, his voice low and filled with intent.

Vaeda's cheeks flushed a delicate pink as she realized what he meant. Her heartbeat quickened, as she allowed Aemond to pull her back onto the bed.

"Aemond," she whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of anticipation and affection.

He moved closer, his eye locking onto hers with an intensity that made her breath catch. "Vaeda," he murmured, his voice soft but filled with longing. "I need you."

She nodded, feeling a wave of love and desire wash over her as Aemond's hand moved to cup her cheek, his thumb gently brushing over her skin. "I love you," he said, his voice rough with emotion.

"I love you too," Vaeda replied, her voice filled with sincerity. She leaned in, capturing his lips in a quick tender kiss.

Aemond watched with a hooded gaze as Vaeda moved off the bed and began to untie the laces of her gown, letting it fall to the floor, with the material pooling at her feet.

Whilst she removed her shift, Aemond hastily pulled off his breeches and small clothes, he sighed in relief as his already hard cock was free from its confines.

Vaeda smiled slightly as she hooked her fingers around her own small clothes and slowly pulled them down, Aemond could feel himself salivating as he stared at her cunny.

“Come here-” growled Aemond, as he reached out and tugged Vaeda back on the bed.

“Let me take care of you” muttered Vaeda as she placed kisses along Aemond jaw and then down his neck, making sure to gently nip and suck his skin as she went.

She carried on moving down, pausing as she reached his chest, she grinned as she took one of his nipples into her mouth, her tongue teasing it before she bit down gently.

“FUCK” moaned Aemond.

“Does issa dārys like that?” asked Vaeda as she moved across and gave his other nipple the same attention, (My King).

“Oh. Gods” whimpered Aemond as she moved further down his body, her tongue and teeth grazing his pale skin.

When she reached the trail of hair from his belly button down to his cock, she pressed her nose against him and giggled when she felt the hair tickle her skin.

“Kostilus issa jorrāelagon” begged Aemond (Please my love).

“Ao līs umbagon issa zaldrīzes” replied Vaeda (You must wait, my dragon).

Aemond stared down at his naughty wife, his mouth hanging open as Vaeda’s warm, wet mouth quickly wrapped around the head of his cock.

Her tongue gently moving around the tip – tracing the ridges and licking off that drops of pre-cum that had started to leak out.

“Fuck, Vaeda!” groaned Aemond as he threaded his fingers through his wife’s silver hair.

Vaeda ran the flat of her tongue along Aemond’s length, tracing every hard inch of him.

Aemond’s heart almost stopped when she sucked his stones into her mouth, one at a time.

Her hand moving slowly over the hard length of him.

When Vaeda moved and engulfed Aemond’s cock in her mouth again, he squeezed his eye shut. She was driving him crazy.

But Aemond forced himself to open his eye, he needed to watch as his wife sucked his cock. 

“Your taking me so well. Such a good girl” moaned Aemond.

Aemond knew it would push the limits of his control, but he did not care. He just had to watch his cock disappear into Vaeda’s mouth and see it come back out, shining with her spit.

Her head moving back and forth, her perfect pink lips stretched around him.

“I’m not going to last if you carry on” Aemond admitted, though it pained him to do so.

Vaeda smiled slightly and began moving faster, also using one of her hands in rhythm with her mouth. 

“It feels so good-that’s it” groaned Aemond.

Vaeda responded to his statement by relaxing the back of her throat, and swallowing as much of her husband’s cock as she could, whilst her other hand cupped his stones.

“Shit-Vaeda. I’m going to come. Oh, fuck, I’m coming!” shouted Aemond as he exploded.

His wife took every last drop, swallowing his warm seed and licking him clean.

When he recovered, Aemond saw Vaeda’s self-satisfied smile.

“Was that to your liking husband?” asked Vaeda.

“Y-Yes. Now get up here and ride my face until I’m ready again” gasped Aemond.

“But your nose” whispered Vaeda concerned.

“I don’t care-get up here and sit on my fucking face” ordered Aemond, his cock already twitching with interest.

Vaeda hovered above Aemond’s face; her knees splayed on either side of his head.

“Such a pretty cock sleeve" breathed Aemond as he ran the flat of his tongue along Vaeda’s soaked slit, from bottom to the top, tasting her.

“Oh, my god” moaned Vaeda her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

“That’s it Issa dōna. Let me hear you” (My sweet).

“YES. It feels so good. Don’t stop. Aemond. Please” begged Vaeda.

“FUCK” growled Aemond.

“Ooooh A-Aemond” shrieked Vaeda.

"Delicious" purred Aemond as he began lapping at Vaeda, running his tongue along every fold.

"More" panted Vaeda "Please. I need more”.

Aemond inserted two fingers, sliding them in and out of her slick wet folds.

“Oh" whimpered Vaeda; her chest heaving as she began to gently roll her hips against him.

“That’s it baby, ride my fucking face” groaned Aemond, his cock was so hard that it was boarding on painful.

Vaeda was giving off a slew of loud swear words, moans, and pleas, that anyone passing her chambers would surely hear.

 Aemond’s fingers were soaking wet as they continued to pump in and out of her tight heat.

“I can’t wait to get my cock inside you. I don’t want to wait any longer, come for me baby, come for daddy” moaned Aemond.

Finally, he felt Vaeda’s inner walls start to flutter around his fingers, squeezing them. Vaeda’s back arched taut as a bow and she screamed her release.

Aemond pumped slowly and lapped at his wife’s centre as she came.

After a few minutes, Aemond gently urged his wife to move down, so she was hovering above his cock.

Her hand wrapped around him, running the head of his cock along her warm wet folds.

“Your such a tease” moaned Aemond as his hips jerked involuntarily.

But it feels so good” replied Vaeda as she slowly sunk down on his cock, so only the tip of him was inside her.

“P-Please” whimpered Aemond.

“Uh-uh” said Vaeda shaking her head from side to side.

After a few torturous minutes Aemond couldn’t take it anymore and seized his wife’s hips, before surging up and ploughing his hard cock into her soaked cunt.

"AEMOND!" screamed Vaeda.

"Gods. You feel so good" rasped Aemond.

"Fuck me, Aemond" urged Vaeda, her tone bordering on desperate as she rolled her hips against his.

Aemond started to thrust slowly, trying to prolong the feel of his wife squeezing his cock.

“P-Please. Husband” whined Vaeda as Aemond began teasing her pearl with his thumb.

“That’s it-take all of me”

“OH-MY-“ shrieked Vaeda Aemond began to move.

"Faster, please" begged Vaeda.

“Like this?” replied Aemond as he gave a quick deep thrust.

“Yes, Aemond, just like that-" panted Vaeda.

Her hands ran along his arms, over his shoulders and down his chest, digging her nails into his pale skin.

“Gods, Vaeda" grunted Aemond, speeding up slightly.

"Fuck me, Aemond" whispered Vaeda "Fuck me with that big, cock of yours. You feel so good inside me, filling me up. Give me what I need. Give me your seed. I want it”.

Aemond knew exactly what Vaeda was doing, and he couldn’t help himself.

Vaeda wanted faster and he was going much faster now, his feet planted on the bed to give him more leverage and his pace increased with every filthy word that dropped from his wife’s luscious lips as he pounded into her.

“Aemond-I’m going to come. Oh, fuck!” screamed Vaeda; not caring if anyone could hear them.

Vaeda always looked amazing when she came. Her head thrown back in pleasure, her amethyst eyes alive with lust, and her pale skin shining with sweat.

“I’m going to put another babe in you-See you full of milk-”

“Y-Yes A-Aemond-I want another. Give it to me” whined Vaeda as she clamped down around his cock so hard he could hardly move.

That, combined with how glorious Vaeda looked, pushed Aemond over the edge, the heat shooting across his abdomen.

“God. Vaeda” groaned Aemond as he exploded. His cock throbbing and twitching as he spilled his seed inside his wife’s wet heat.

Afterwards, as they lay together, tangled in each other’s arms, the door to Vaeda’s chambers suddenly opened.

Aemond instinctively moved to cover himself and Vaeda with a sheet, but the sudden movement caused a sharp pain to shoot through his stomach, and he hissed in discomfort.

"Easy," Vaeda murmured, her fingers brushing against his cheek, concern etched in her eyes.

Jace stood in the doorway, his gaze fixed on his sister and Aemond, watching as Vaeda fussed over Aemond, the tenderness in her actions surprising him.

He had always known his sister to be fierce and unyielding, and seeing her reduced to a cock struck woman made his stomach churn. He hated the hold Aemond had over her.

Aemond caught Jace staring at Vaeda, and his lips curled into a slight sneer. "It is not appropriate to covet another man's wife, especially in the presence of her husband," he said, his voice dripping with condescension.

Jace's face reddened, and he looked at the floor, muttering, "The Queen has asked that you both attend dinner." Without waiting for a response, he hastily left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Aemond scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "She expects me to break bread with—"

Vaeda placed a gentle finger over his lips, silencing him. "She has allowed you to keep your life. Let's not give her cause to change her mind," she said softly, her eyes pleading with him to understand.

Aemond sighed, his hand covering hers. "Very well," he relented, though the resentment in his voice was unmistakable. "For you, I will endure this."

Vaeda smiled, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. "Thank you,"

Vaeda and Aemond walked into the dining room, with Rhaegar nestled securely in his father’s arms. The air was thick with tension as they took their seats at the long table. The faces around it—Rhaenyra, Daemon, Jace, Baela, Rhaenys, and Corlys—were a mix of curiosity, suspicion, and barely concealed animosity.

Even though he was hungry Aemond hesitated to eat, his eye flicking to each dish with apprehension.

Daemon noticed and couldn’t resist a jab. “Fear not, nephew. It would not serve to poison you now, not after your wife fought so valiantly for your life.”

Vaeda’s eyes flashed with anger as she scowled at her father. “Enough,” she said through gritted teeth.

Aemond reached for Vaeda’s hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze before he reached for some bread and meat.

The entire table of guests were silent, the only noise was the sound of cutlery on the plates, and as the awkwardness progressed, Rhaenyra found herself watching Aemond as he interacted with Rhaegar. Despite the tension, he appeared to be a very attentive and loving father.

Rhaegar openly vied for his father’s attention, and even when the boy threw a tantrum and refused to eat his peas, Aemond remained patient and calm, and Rhaegar eventually gave in and ate his food, much to the quiet amazement of those watching.

Daemon, never one to let an opportunity for a snide remark pass, said, “Surprised to see that you’re actually a decent father.”

Aemond’s expression hardened. “I simply wish for my son to know he is loved, something Viserys never managed to show all of his children. That right was exclusively reserved for his favourite child”

Rhaenyra’s eyes narrowed, but before she could respond, Daemon openly declared, “We set out for King’s Landing on the morrow. Do you wish to beg for the lives of your traitorous kin?”

Vaeda’s patience snapped. “Father, stop.”

Aemond’s voice was steady but filled with restrained anger. “Aegon will pose no threat, as he will more than likely succumb to his injuries, Daeron is but a boy in Oldtown. As for my mother and Helaena, they are innocent of any wrongdoing. Perhaps that’s something you should’ve remembered when you ordered the execution of Jaehaerys.”

Vaeda slammed her hands down on the table, her frustration boiling over. “ENOUGH!”

She took Rhaegar from Aemond’s arms and stormed out of the dining room, her movements swift and determined.

Aemond rose to follow, his eye burning with a mix of anger and sorrow as Daemon sniggered into his cup of wine, clearly enjoying the chaos he had sown.

The next evening, Aemond was pacing around Vaeda's chambers, his steps echoing in the dimly lit room. The heavy burden of uncertainty pressed down on him as he thought of Rhaenyra and Daemon taking King’s Landing.

Vaeda had been reluctant to take Cannibal, as he was still tired from the battle at Rook’s Rest, but her mother’s insistence that she needed her daughter by her side had ultimately swayed her, and Vaeda had spent many hours making sure Cannibal gorged himself on as much food as he could in preparation for the journey to Kings Landing.

Aemond had asked to accompany them, but Rhaenyra had refused.

Now, he found himself left on Dragonstone with Rhaegar under heavy guard. Throughout the day, he made sure his son was fed and entertained.

They played dragons, and he read to him, but no distraction could keep his mind from wandering back to thoughts of his mother, Helaena, and the children. He had faith in Vaeda’s advocacy for their safety, but Daemon was such an unpredictable wildcard that not even the gods would know of his plans.

He did not mourn his grandsire or the others on the council—the seeds of their treason had been sown long before he ever existed. Yet, the uncertainty of their fates gnawed at him.

As night fell, Aemond found himself unwilling to part from Rhaegar. He lay in bed with his son cuddled up to him, the child’s soft breaths a soothing rhythm in the dark room.

Watching Rhaegar sleep, Aemond couldn’t help but notice how much he resembled Vaeda. A fond smile touched his lips as he remembered how she drooled in her sleep too, a detail he would never dare to mention to her of course.

The moonlight filtered through the window, casting a gentle glow over the room. Aemond’s thoughts drifted to the precarious future ahead. He whispered a silent prayer for Vaeda’s safety, hoping that her presence would be enough to sway any harsh decisions made against his family.

Aemond stirred awake, the feeling of a soft touch on his face bringing him out of his slumber. He opened his eye and saw Vaeda sitting on the bed, her hair windswept and falling free from its braid. She looked weary but determined.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.

Vaeda nodded quietly, then whispered, "Follow me."

Gently detaching himself from Rhaegar, he carefully rose from the bed. Elana, the handmaid had entered the room to look after the still-sleeping boy.

Aemond followed Vaeda through the dimly lit corridors, his heart pounding with every step.

"Is everything okay? What about my mother? Helaena and the children?" he asked repeatedly, but Vaeda remained silent, her expression unreadable.

They reached the throne room, its vast space cloaked in darkness. Vaeda led him to the centre of the room and stopped.

Aemond looked around, confused and anxious, when he heard a voice that made his heart skip a beat.

"Brother."

He turned swiftly to see Helaena standing there, her face illuminated by the faint moonlight filtering through the windows. Overwhelmed, he walked toward her, his voice trembling.

"May I?"

Helaena nodded, and they embraced, the weight of their separation melting away in that moment. Tears welled up in his eye as he held her close.

"Uncle!" came a chorus of little voices.

Aemond looked up to see Jaehaera and Maelor running toward him, their faces lit with joy. He knelt down, opening his arms wide to gather them in a tight embrace.

He looked over their heads at Vaeda, stunned and grateful. She stood watching them, a tender smile on her lips.

"Thank you," whispered Aemond, his voice thick with emotion.

Vaeda walked over to join them, her hand gently resting on his shoulder. "They are to reside here with us-I hope this is pleasing to you husband"

Aemond, still holding his niece and nephew close, looked at Vaeda with an intense gaze. "What happened in King's Landing?"

Vaeda took a deep breath. "My mother has successfully claimed the Iron Throne. The traitors have been culled, with much enthusiasm from my father and your mother has been confined to her chambers, but she is safe."

Aemond's jaw tightened, and he nodded slowly, processing the information. "And Aegon?" he asked, his voice strained.

Vaeda hesitated, glancing at Helaena. Aemond noticed the exchange and felt a knot form in his stomach. Helaena stepped forward; her eyes filled with sorrow.

"Aegon is dead," she said quietly. "He was in much pain. It was kinder to let him slip away while he was sleeping."

Aemond's eye widened, and he looked at his sister in shock. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"The feathers in the cotton took his breath” whispered Helaena.

Aemond’s breath caught in his throat as he realized what she meant. He stared at her, as the weight of her words began to sink in.

He didn't say anything. Because he had no right. Aegon's injuries had been his fault, and now his brother was dead. The realization left him hollow, a deep ache settling in his chest.

“The seed will bear many fruits-the dragon’s line is long; the unburnt mother will fight the ice and fire song”  muttered Helaena softly.

“What?” asked Aemond.

“The stories’ in the steel” uttered Helaena as she reached into her long overcoat and pulled out the Valyrian steel dagger that once belonged to Viserys and then Aegon.

“Helaena, how did you-” exclaimed Aemond his singular eye widening.

“The heir knows, passed down from one to the other” said Helaena as she handed the dagger to Vaeda.

“What do you mean?” asked Aemond.

"I'm quite tired. It’s been a long day. Might I go to bed?" asked Helaena, her voice soft and almost childlike.

Vaeda nodded. She turned to a nearby guard. "Please escort Princess Helaena and the children to the guest chambers," she instructed.

“I do not fear my dreams this night-”

As a guard appeared and gestured for Helaena to follow. She picked up Maelor, his small arms wrapping around her neck, and took Jaehaera's hand.

Aemond watched them go, a mixture of curiosity and relief washing over him. He turned back to Vaeda, his expression softening.

“What was all that about?”

“As me again sometime and I will tell you” replied Vaeda.

Aemond simply smiled as he pulled her close and kissed her, pouring every ounce of love and gratitude he felt into that kiss.

Vaeda melted into his embrace, her own emotions swirling. When they finally broke apart, “I love you," Aemond whispered, his voice full of resolve.

"I love you too," Vaeda replied softly, her fingers gently tracing his scarred cheek.

Many moons had passed since Rhaenyra had reclaimed the Iron Throne and establishing her rule as Queen was not an easy task. While she had her supporters, others still rallied behind Aegon. Rumours of his demise had sparked calls for Aemond to press his own claim, but he steadfastly refused.

Confined to Dragonstone, Aemond found solace in the ancestral seat of House Targaryen. The vast library, filled with ancient scrolls and Valyrian texts, captivated his mind, satisfying his thirst for the knowledge of his forebears.

His days were filled with training and sparring with the guards of Dragonstone, honing his skills. He also took to teaching Rhaegar High Valyrian, cherishing every moment spent with his son.

Helaena, Jaehaera, and Maelor were thriving on Dragonstone, and to Vaeda’s horror so was the spider colony that Helaena had cheerfully installed in her chambers.

Vaeda of course made sure to actively avoid that part of the castle, fearful of what she might encounter.

Another thing that was flourishing was the babe currently nestled within Vaeda. Aemond had been ecstatic when she informed him that his seed had taken root once more and he was by her side as she birthed their daughter, a tiny little dragon who lungs were well in working order as she announced her arrival into the world very loudly.

As he cradled his sweet Elaena in his arms, any doubts over the decisions he had made in the past just melted away, for he knew this was where he was supposed to be.

Especially when Vaeda gave him the news not even eight moons later, she was carrying another child, that pregnancy was quite hard on her and she spend many weeks abed with aches and sickness, but in the end, they were blessed with another son named Aerys.

Given Vaeda had suffered during her term, Aemond vowed not to get her child again, at least not for a while, but the gods obviously had other ideas as when Aerys was but a child of one name day old, she gave him the news of another expected babe.

Helaena found the whole thing hilarious and was quick to remind Aemond that ‘the seed would bear many fruits’.

And well she wasn’t wrong, as in the end Vaeda and Aemond were blessed with six sons and six daughters.

It was just as well that Dragonstone was big enough to accommodate such a large family, but in the chaos of squabbling children and the endless headaches that came with convincing them that their lessons were useful for the future, he knew he wouldn’t change it for the world.

All his children were treated equally, and as often as his sons trained with the sword so did his daughters.

He wanted things to be different, he wanted to be different.

The children, would always know of his love, his attention and they would know how wanted they were.

As would Vaeda, she was his heart, his soul and his greatest love, and everyday he made sure to tell her that he loved her.

Aemond had everything he had ever wanted, he was happy and more importantly he was loved.

And if Vaeda changed the previous Queen’s ruling and installed Aemond as her consort King the moment she was crowned in the Dragon pit well that was just fine with him.

[lossisyours]

@taylortruther broke my brain a little with hoax analysis, and it got me thinking of how sweet nothing reminds me a lot of lavender haze in that both of those songs, in retrospect, reframe drastic switches in originally stated plans/intentions and romanticise it.

taylor’s always sung about a desire for marriage: from mary’s song (debut), “take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle / our whole town came and our mamas cried / you said, ‘i do,’ and i did too” to love story (fearless), “he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, and said / ‘marry me, juliet, you’ll never have to be alone, i love you and that’s all i really know / i talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress / it’s a love story, baby, just say ‘yes’” to speak now the whole damn song to starlight (red), “we could get married, have ten kids and teach ’em how to dream” to how you get the girl (1989), “i want you for worse or for better” to lover’s (title song) bridge’s mimicry of wedding vows to paper rings’ thesis to it’s nice to have a friend (lover), “church bells ring, carry me home / rice on the ground, looks like snow”. only to drop midnights with lavender haze as the first single, the start to the album; an album that bargains a LOT with her discography (and herself). and that doesn’t make lavender haze a lie, necessarily... but it does make it an immensely thought-provoking narrative to switch to.

sweet nothing’s not that different! it was all over fearless (2008) from that initial, youthful romanticism of fearless (title song), “you know i wanna ask you to dance right there / in the middle of the parking lot”, to the spectacular dramatism of love story’s entire genesis/lyric-story, to the cheeky flamboyance of hey stephen and you belong with me. she’s known that she wants fireworks & grand gestures. actions & proof! she missed “screamin’ and fightin’ and kissin’ in the rain” and being “so in love that you act insane”. she herself loves in huge ways, and to cite examples for that would be to quote most of her discography. and she cares about the showing up – that’s why she wrote the moment i knew (red). and that narrative started to morph a little when she met joe; she said as much in miss americana, “i was falling in love with someone who had a wonderfully normal, balanced life. we decided together we wanted our relationship to be private. i was happy. but i wasn’t happy in the way i was trained to be happy. it was happiness without anyone else’s input.” their new beginnings weren’t secret to her, they were sacred. and then she sang, “we still worship this love / even if it’s a false god” and called their love “faithless” in hoax. she took over the role of being the fire to keep his brittle heart warm. she took ownership of being “the liquor in [their] cocktails”. she took the dreaminess & fated-soulmateism of invisible strong (folklore) and made it mastermind (midnights) — which everyone joked about at that time, but now hurts to think about.

there is a pipeline from “all that you ever wanted from me was... nothing” to “and i’m fadin’, thinkin’ 'do something, babe, risk something, babe, say something / 'lose something, babe, risk something / choose something, babe, i got nothing' / 'to believe, unless you’re choosing me” that makes my tummy hurt. how long could they be a sad song? (hoax. the sad song is hoax.)

[iamjellyfish]

HOSHINA SOSHIRO | Chase after fate (idk what to name this fic) ❥A/n: I genuinely want to write angst, extra angst, and multiple angst tropes in one fic, so this one is to drabble up something angst so I got fed. ❥Summary: You, a ghost of his past, haunt him even if he is in an arranged marriage and thought he had moved on years ago. Who knows your fading and fluttering image held his heart hostage? Yet when he managed to hold you close, he found out you already forgot everything. ❥Trope: arrange marriage (Soshiro and someone else), you fall in love too soon - he realizes how much he loves you too late, you get in an accident and lose your memory. ❥Warning: THE ANGST DEMON HOLD MY HAND AND WRITE THIS, angst (a lot of angst), unclear ending, Soshiro underestimate his heart.

Sometimes when he looks at you, something about you resembles a butterfly, so beautiful yet can't see its own beauty... Sometimes he found himself recalling old memories... just something small like how you always prefer to sit near windows at the cafeteria or in a car, how even after months of training you still sometimes have small mistakes that usually only rookie had. Small and insignificant memories. At least he thinks so. He is now a married man with the responsibility he must bear. Even if it's a loveless marriage, he still needs to do his part because his wife has done her part which is to take care of the house while he is working. You probably can't handle being a housewife, you can't cook and get distracted by unimportant things.

You and him used to dating, yet deep down he knows that the moment he chose his work over you, he already lost you. It was 0:23 on a Friday, you and he were on a mission and you got injured. Yet, he has to chase down the honju while you wait for help, despite you being afraid and begging him to be there... He was gone. You knew he had an arranged marriage yet you were so in love with him, you two tried to stop it from happening but in the end, only you still trying to make things work. You know and understand for Soshiro but a girl could only take too much before she broke. Glasses were broken and your bandage hand was bleeding. At the time, Soshiro, wasn't serious about the relationship, in his heart, this is probably a doomed relationship from the start. You were the moth that flew into the flames but refused to be stopped by him. "Soshiro, do you think you love me?" You said, blood still dripping, Soshiro's hands reach out to help you yet you push him away. Of course, Soshiro loves you, but in his heart, he chose work over you, which means he had the accept the arranged marriage between clans. He was waiting for this ship to sink eventually yet he yearned to keep it afloat as long as he could. Even if it's just another moment. "Of course darling, I love you! Now please, let's fix your bleeding hand and clean the glasses okay?" You let him fix your bandages and just look down into the broken glasses, you wonder, if this is your fault. It's you that was the moth that flew into this dumpster fire, you know that he would choose work over you yet you chase after him. The days were you laughing at your friends for "I can fix him" come crashing down on you. Soshiro recall the days when you would get hurt in a mission and he would visit you in the hospital with your favorite foods and would lecture you about keeping yourself safe. "Y/n, I don't want you to get hurt, even if it's to protect me." He said, that day you jump into the kaiju's attack to shield him from it. He never told you but that day, your eyes looked really beautiful, they looked like they held stars in them. He found himself brushing your strands of hair out of the way for him to see your eyes more clearly. "It's fine, it's you that I would get hurt for! Every injury from protecting you is worth it!" You say that with a warm smile, it gave him butterflies yet he would push it down into the abyss of his heart because he was sure that this wouldn't work out, yet he can't tell you that. Eventually, his mind wanders to the memories of you breaking up with him on the day you quit being a soldier. He thinks your reason for quitting is something about your injury that requires you a long time to heal which affects your ability to fight. He didn't want to relive that memory again but he recalled that your hands were oddly cold that day, and your bandages were a bit off. He would fix it but you already leave. He was pulled back to the present when his wife, who is so different from you poked him. Soshiro treated her how he wasn't able to treat you, Soshiro made sure she wouldn't have to shoulder the doubts and the loneliness alone. Even if they're just friend now, he knows that she tried her best to keep things working out. "Soshiro, are you alright? Still thinking about that girl?"

She said, her fingers trailing down the lines in the book. She knows who you are, in fact, she met you, yet you were kind and understanding to her. She respected you, because even if fate is cruel to you, you still want to help her, Soshiro from this tragic event called "loveless marriage". She supports Soshiro in chasing you, yet she knows that Soshiro has insecurities that make him push away his feelings for you, and make him not understand his own feelings. And now you were a fluttering image haunting him, a beautiful illusion in his mind, and an unmovable calming ghost. In his dreams, you were always waiting for him, dancing so graciously while everything around you was dead calm. Your eyes held their sadness and blamed him, he doesn't mind, you should be blaming him. He always imagines you wearing a wedding dress that catches his eye one day, if he can, he would want to hold you your dream wedding. "...I'm sorry. I shouldn't." He said, looking at her, he felt guilty that he had to make her feel this way. Then he stood up after realizing what time is it. He recalls how you always told him about how you save money by buying stuff at certain hours for deals, he didn't understand much but seeing you talking about it made him happy. "Let me make up for you by buying the groceries alright?" She looks a bit disappointed and then smiles at him. She wanted him to go to you, to finally wife you up but the man seems to not understand all the hints she throwing these years. "I hope you will finally buy the courage to chase after the girl. The last time I saw her, she was still waiting for you." Soshiro just waved at that, pretending to not care yet deep down, those words surfaced feelings in him that he was not ready to face. Then he found himself wandering a little in the mall, wandering to shops that he thought you would like, Soshiro's eyes kept looking at clothes, and accessories that would fit you so well. And there you are, his bittersweet memories, you were here. But you don't acknowledge his presence, your beautiful eyes are looking around, those empty eyes. You look so lost, so out of place, just like in his dreams. "Y/n..." Soshiro's body betrayed him, and despite not wanting to talk to you, he still moved toward you. His heart beat fast and his hands yearn to hold you close. Yet you looked at him confused, you moved back a little, frowning at his calling. "I'm sorry... Do I know you?" You said, those words of yours froze him. Soshiro mind was racing, he thought you probably hated him and wanted to do nothing with him. The thought of you forgetting about him makes his heart clench. This is the moment he wishes it all was just a nightmare. "Don't you remember? I'm your vice-captain Hoshina!" He tried his best to do his signature grin, your eyes look into him and you clench a part of your jacket while frowning. Then you finally spoke. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just got into an accident and lost my memory, you were probably my friend. So... How are you doing?" You smile warmly at him but before he can reply, you are already dragged away by your friends because you wander off without telling them. He just stood there for a moment. While buying groceries and paying for them, his mind keeps replaying the conversation with you, he is deep in his thoughts thinking about a future with you, about how there might be a chance he can patch things up with you. "I hope you will finally buy the courage to chase after the girl. The last time I saw her, she was still waiting for you."

He recalls his wife saying that. When he goes home, Soshiro realizes today was a snowy day, on the way home, the memories of you playing in the snow happily without the care in the world replay in his mind. He found himself would die if he couldn't spend the rest of his life by your side.

Your fading images of playing with the snow had made him feel warm. He swore to himself that he would be chasing after that image even if this time, he was the moth flying into the flames. "Soshiro, I build a snowman that looks like you!"

[ro-is-struggling]

For Your Eyes Only || Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: The three times you and Spencer managed to keep your relationship a secret and the one time you got caught.

Warnings: Garcia!Reader (but the reader's race/ethnicity is not specified, she could be adopted idk), mutual pining, love confessions, reader being a little insecure at one point, suggestive tones, implied smut, possible 14x01 spoilers, canon typical violence, angst with happy ending, fluff

English is not my first language

Word count: 11700 (I'm not even sorry)

Notes: This is based on a dream I had after binging the show so I’m sorry if it’s weird lol

Things between you and Spencer had always been complicated. You first met when you were young and inexperienced when you ended up crashing at your sister Penelope's place after losing your job and apartment all in the same week. She had offered to help you until you could get back on your feet, inviting you to live with her so you could save some money to move into a better apartment. And living with her also meant living with her second family, the BAU, so just a week after you moved in, Penelope organized a get-together with all her friends and co-workers so you could get to know each other.

Spencer stood out to you from the very beginning. He was shy and awkward and too young to be part of the team. You were a little intimidated by him at first. Despite his calm demeanor, he had an intense gaze that sent tingles down your spine every time his eyes fell on you. You felt a little self-conscious under his watchful eyes, feeling as if he was studying you. You knew he was not only a profiler, but also a genius with more than one college degree. There was no way you couldn't feel awkward under his gaze. 

That was until he opened his mouth, rambling excitedly about some random piece of information that he seemed to know a lot about, but that no one seemed to want to hear about. No one except you. You found his enthusiasm adorable and his voice soothing. He was a fascinating person who immediately piqued your desire to get to know him better. So that's exactly what you did. 

It was clear from the first moment that you shared a special spark. Within minutes of meeting you were already off in your own little bubble, chatting as if you had known each other all your lives. Spencer had never felt so comfortable with a complete stranger before, although he supposed it made sense given that you were Penelope's sister. The apple doesn't fall that far from the tree and all. You became friends in record time and fell in love even faster. But, as mentioned before, you were both too young and inexperienced to do anything about it. You didn't quite know how to deal with the feelings you were experiencing, so you did nothing.

You were always afraid that things wouldn't work out well between you, that somehow Spencer would get bored of you and leave you. You didn't want things to be awkward for your sister, you knew that if you two broke up she would feel the need to choose sides and you couldn't let her get into a fight with her friend and coworker because of you. And Spencer... Well, he had almost no experience in love or dating. It had taken him longer than he wanted to admit to even understand his feelings for you and once he did he didn't know what to do about it, so he did nothing. And when you finally went out to live your life on your own, he watched you walk away, burying his love for you in a box with a thousand locks, hidden deep in his heart so he could forget you. But he never forgot you and you never forgot him.

Timing was never right with you. You were perfect for each other, but there was always something that got in the way, as if fate itself didn't want to see you together. Even though your feelings for Spencer never died, you had given up hope that anything would ever happen between you. Apparently it wasn't in the cards for you to be together and you accepted it, settling for living with the what-ifs as your only consolation. At least that was until a new opportunity presented itself in front of you at Penelope's 41st birthday party. An opportunity you were not willing to pass up.

You were once again crashing on your sister's couch that year, only this time it was until you found an apartment in the city near her. Penelope's job was risky and in the last few years she had been targeted by psychopathic killers on several occasions. You hated the idea of her living alone and since you were now in a financial position to choose where to live, you decided to move close to her so that you could come to her aid in case of an emergency. You had to admit that your timing wasn't great since she was in the middle of planning her birthday party, so you postponed your apartment search until after the event, concentrating all your energy on helping her first. Luckily David Rossi offered to host the celebration at his mansion so you didn't have to make any more mess inside Penelope's apartment which was already a mess because of you. And planning such an event was always much easier when it wasn't your house that was going to be turned upside down. 

Spencer was in his mandatory retirement when you arrived, concentrating on his new found love of teaching. For that reason, Penelope hadn't had a chance to talk much with the boy wonder so when he showed up at Rossi's house for the celebration and saw you there he was greatly surprised.

You were laughing with Penelope and Emily and didn't notice his presence until you heard JJ call his name. When you looked up your eyes met his, those beautiful hazel eyes that you still saw in your dreams. It felt as if time stood still for a moment, the world around you disappearing as you became lost in each other's gaze. Memories of moments shared with Spencer came back to your mind in flashes, once again awakening those feelings you thought you had buried deep in your heart.

Spencer looked different, that was the first thing you noticed. He had changed, not only physically but also emotionally. He looked more serious than you remembered and seemed to have matured quite a bit. You didn't expect anything different knowing everything he had been through lately, the change was only natural. However, when he smiled you recognized the Spencer you loved so much. His essence was still there, a part of his innocence and charm still shone in his eyes. That made you smile, you were glad to know that despite everything he was okay.

Penelope was the one who snapped you out of your trance, giving you a subtle nudge in the ribs to bring you back to reality. She knew about your feelings for Spencer, you had never told her, but you didn't need to for her to figure it out. You guys were actually pretty bad at hiding your feelings, which is why she couldn't believe how you still weren't dating. God knows she hadn't stopped trying to push you in the right direction at every opportunity —Penelope loved to play cupid—, but so far nothing had ever worked.

Even though your sister successfully brought you back to reality, you were not able to give Spencer even a few words of welcome. You were still too overwhelmed by his presence, so you preferred to play it safe until you found the right words to express yourself. In the end you didn't get a chance to have a proper talk until late in the evening once everyone present began to show signs that they had had a few too many drinks. You went out into the garden to get some fresh air, getting away from the laughter for a moment to clear your head. Spencer followed you out and before you knew it you were engaged in a casual chat, catching up on things with a level of comfort that was unbelievable considering the level of tension that could be felt in the air when you were together. 

It was always easy to be around Spencer. Despite all the pent up feelings between you, you were able to maintain a good friendship. You didn't see each other very often, but whenever you met again it was as if you had never been apart in the first place. That's how strong your connection was.

"I missed this," you admitted after a few seconds of silence, your gaze fixed on the horizon, lost in thought. "I missed our talks."

"Me too," Spencer nodded, admiring your profile as if he were trying to memorize every little detail of your face. "I missed you." His voice sounded more muffled that time, heavy with the sadness accumulated after years of your absence. The mood in the air changed completely from casual and funny to sad and serious, letting you know that the time for explanations and excuses had come. 

"Why did you leave?" It broke your heart to hear the way his voice cracked as he spoke. You knew about his fear of change and his abandonment issues, he had opened up to you about it a long time ago. You left to take that job three states away knowing full well how much your leaving was going to affect him and now you were regretting it. It wasn't as if it hadn't hurt you too, but at the time you thought walking away was the best option for both of you. 

"I..." You didn't know what to answer. You had a long list of made up excuses you'd thought of over the years, but when you looked up to face him you didn't have the heart to lie to him. Spencer wasn't stupid, he could tell when you were lying, so what was the point? He deserved to know the truth. You deserved the truth. "I got scared and I ran away, just like I always do." You muttered, ashamed of your past actions.

"Scared of what?" Spencer frowned at you, confused by your words. You didn't respond verbally, you just looked at him and that was enough for him to understand what you meant. He could see it in your eyes, the fear, the insecurity. He couldn't believe how he hadn't noticed it before. Suddenly it all seemed so obvious to him that he wanted to yell at his past self for not doing something sooner.

"What we had... I-I never felt anything like that before and it scared me." You finally confessed after so long, keeping your eyes on the floor since you couldn't bring yourself to look Spencer in the face. It felt good to finally tell the truth, even though you felt a little exposed and vulnerable under his intense gaze. But it was worth it if it would finally bring closure to your story. 

"I wish you would have told me." This time it was your turn to look at him with confusion. "I liked you too."

You froze in place, Spencer's voice echoing in your head as you tried to process the situation.

He loved you too.

All this time you had spent wondering how things would have been if you hadn't been such a coward when you actually could have found out if you had just opened your mouth at the right time. Spencer loved you too and you had done nothing but waste time.

But then the cynical voice in your head asked the question you were so afraid of. Why did he love you? There was definitely nothing extraordinary about you, you were the most common and boring person that existed on the planet and he... he was the perfect man. He was sweet and sensitive, effortlessly beautiful and as if that wasn't enough he was also a literal genius. You couldn't understand how someone like Spencer could find someone like you interesting or worthy of his love. Being friends was one thing, but being a couple was a world apart. You were convinced that you were not compatible, despite all the love you had for each other. There was no way a genius like Spencer wasn't going to get bored of you in a matter of weeks. It just didn't make sense. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could react to this new revelation, you were interrupted by your sister's voice announcing that they were about to cut the cake. You didn't even get a chance to look at Spencer before Penelope dragged you back inside, too tipsy to realize she was interrupting a very important moment. 

You had to put on a smile as everyone sang happy birthday to Penelope, feigning happiness when you felt anything but that. Confusion was the predominant emotion, but you also felt regret and a crushing emptiness in your chest that made it hard to breathe. You wanted to be there for your sister, but your mind couldn't stop replaying Spencer's words, having trouble processing the situation. 

You couldn't believe that all this time he had reciprocated your feelings. All the time you had spent mourning for what couldn't be, all the tears you had shed for him, it had all been wasted. You felt like a fool, though you couldn't deny that sabotaging your own happiness out of fear or insecurities was something you did more than you'd like to admit. It was hardwired into your brain, an automatic response that you could almost never stop. And now it was once again too late to do anything about it.

Spencer looked happy as he laughed with his friends, unaffected by the revelations that had just come up in your talk minutes before. It confused you a little, wondering how he was able to go on as if nothing had happened after hearing your confession. But then you noticed a detail that tightened the lump that had formed in your throat.

'I liked you too.' 

He had spoken in the past tense. He loved you, implying that he no longer did. Spencer had moved on from his feelings for you, putting an end to your story. And the worst part was that you had no one to blame but yourself. You were the one who had pushed him away, the one who had run away from your feelings instead of facing them and now you were paying the price.

Your mind was lost in horrible thoughts, imagining how many women had occupied that special place in his heart since you left. That special place you so longed to occupy, that place that should have been yours... that was yours without you knowing it. You wondered who had dethroned you, who had been able to erase you from his heart to take that place. 

Imagining Spencer in the arms of another woman made you feel sick. You knew he could date anyone he wanted —you'd had your fair share of failed relationships yourself over the years—, but for some reason this was the first time it felt real. You hated to think that another woman had come to occupy that special space in his heart, that she knew what it felt like to kiss him or wake up next to him. The thought of Spencer feeling safe and at home in the arms of someone who wasn't you crushed you. You knew you had no right to feel that way, but you couldn't help but feel jealous that someone else had the chance to experience what you fantasized about every night before bed.

Suddenly the room began to feel small, the walls closing in on you as the laughter around you grew louder and louder. You needed to get out of there, to get away from all the noise so you could calm your mind overwhelmed by the swirl of emotions that weighed you down. So you took advantage of Penelope complaining about the lack of ice to escape from there, jumping up from your seat as you offered to get more. 

The kitchen sheltered you from the noise of the party, giving you the peace and quiet you needed to try to work out your problems. You took a moment to take a deep breath, repeating to yourself over and over that everything was fine. It was a big lie, but you were more than willing to fake it til you made it. You poured yourself a glass of water and drank it in one gulp, hoping it would help loosen the lump in your throat. 

'Keep it together, this is Penelope's night!' the voice of reason echoed in your head, trying hard to keep your emotions in check.  You knew she was right, even though you were pretty sure your sister was too drunk at this point to notice the change in your mood, that didn't mean you had a free pass to ruin the party. You had to find a way to put aside what you were feeling for her.

"Is everything alright?" Spencer's voice startled you and you almost dropped the glass you were holding. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just thought that you were taking too long and I wanted to make sure you were okay." 

"Oh yeah, sorry. I needed a moment away from all the noise." You forced a smile in an attempt to let him know you were okay, but the smile didn't reflect in your eyes. You could barely hold eye contact with him as you spoke, which made him think you were hiding something from him.

"I guess they are pretty loud, huh." He walked over to you, leaning back against the edge of the island in the middle of the kitchen. You tensed as you felt his closeness, feeling the warmth of his body against your side as the scent of his cologne assaulted your nostrils. It was as if he was doing it on purpose, as if he knew the effect he had on you and was using it to torture you. But when you looked up at him you were met with his usual innocent expression, with big eyes looking at you curiously as if he was studying you. 

"Yeah and it's been a while since I've been around them, I have to get used to the chaos again." You lied, lowering your gaze. You could no longer stand the intensity of his hazel orbs staring at you as if he could read your thoughts. You knew that was impossible, but what he could certainly do —and very well— was read your behavior. You were sure you were being very obvious and it was only a matter of time before he realized what was really going on with you.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer spoke in a soft tone, breaking the silence that had formed in the room. You bit your tongue, debating whether you should answer his question honestly or not. You wanted to lie, but you knew it was pointless. He would know you were lying, if he didn't already.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about us... about how strange life can be sometimes." You let out a bitter laugh, thinking about how different things might be if only you had done just one thing differently years ago. "D-do you think things between us would have worked?" Your voice was small and unsure, looking up at him hesitantly. You weren't sure if you were ready to hear his answer, but you couldn't contain your curiosity. 

Spencer looked at you, studying your face for what felt like an eternity. You felt small under his gaze, but you maintained eye contact this time. You needed to know the truth, to read in his eyes the sincerity of his words. Only then would your brain know peace.

"I don't know," he finally murmured. "I guess we'll never know."

Spencer's eyes did not leave yours, nor did yours leave his. You felt him moving closer to you, the warmth of his body enveloping you as he tilted his face toward you. You copied his actions without even realizing it, desperate to feel closer to him. It was as if you were in a trance, lost in the beautiful hazel color of his eyes. 

"Yeah, I guess we won't," you said absently, letting the scent of Spencer's cologne flood your system and wash away what little reason you had left. Your eyes traveled to his lips, reflecting the thoughts that occupied your mind. There was nothing you wanted more at that moment than to close the distance that separated you and join your lips in a kiss. You were desperate to know what it would feel like to kiss him, you had been dreaming about it for years. But you knew it wasn't appropriate, so you used your last bit of strength to hold back. 

When you looked back into Spencer's eyes you noticed that something had changed in them. He was looking at you in a different way, with a sparkle you had never noticed in his eyes before. It was... desire. He wanted you as much as you wanted him. He wanted to kiss you too, but he was holding back just like you. You were once again dancing around each other, hiding what you truly felt, waiting for the other to make the first move. You were tired of it and you weren't going to make the same mistake again. 

So you leaned into Spencer, letting him know that you wanted this as much as he did. Time seemed to slow down, making you feel like you were moving in slow motion as you drew closer to shorten the small distance that separated you. The tension in the air was strong, almost unbearable, as you lost yourself in Spencer's eyes, anxiously waiting to feel his lips on yours. 

Your heart raced as you felt his warm breath mingling with yours, the tips of your noses brushing and awakening a wave of electricity that coursed through your entire body. You shared one last glance before letting yourself be carried away by the moment, joining your lips in a long awaited kiss. 

It was shy and experimental, a simple brush of lips that did nothing more than leave you wanting more. Spencer caught your upper lip between his, caressing it with a tenderness that made your knees weak. It wasn't a full kiss, but it was still better than all your fantasies because this one was real. 

You broke apart almost immediately, opening your eyes once again to study each other's expression. Neither of you needed to speak to know what the other was thinking, it was enough to see the glint of happiness shining in your eyes to confirm that you both felt the same. So without wasting another second you brought your lips together once again, only this time in a more confident and passionate kiss. 

You let his lips guide yours, allowing yourself to get lost in the euphoria of the moment. Spencer's hand cupped your cheek, holding your face against his gently to deepen the kiss. His fingertips sparked a warm tingle on your skin and you leaned into his touch, clinging to his lips as you tried to keep up with him. Your lips closed over his lower lip, your tongue caressing it gently asking his permission. He granted it and you didn't waste a second exploring his mouth. He tasted like cake, the sweet blend of chocolate and cream still present on his tongue. 

You didn't want the moment to end. You didn't want to separate yourself from Spencer's lips ever again. You had fantasized about this moment for so long and wanted it to last forever, but unfortunately for you that wasn't possible. You were in the middle of a party and it was already taking too long to get back to the others. If you didn't pull apart now someone was going to find you like this and you didn't want to face the awkward moment, so you reluctantly broke away from Spencer. 

"That was..." he trailed off as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Late." You finished the sentence for him, letting out a chuckle. That kiss was long overdue and you couldn't believe it had taken you so long to get to this moment. "We should get back to the party." You said, making no effort to pull away from him. You were still so close to each other that your noses brushed and your breaths mingled in the air. And that's how you wanted to stay for the rest of the night, even though you knew you couldn't.

"Yes, we should." Spencer nodded, but instead of pulling away from you, he shortened the small distance that separated you even more, bringing your lips together in a quick kiss. You reciprocated immediately, allowing yourself to get lost in him once again.

"I mean it!" You exclaimed, parting from his lips for a second before being drawn into them once more. 

"Me too!" Spencer murmured against your mouth, making you giggle into the kiss. 

You allowed him to distract you with his kisses for a little while longer, taking advantage of the privacy the kitchen provided to explore a little more of whatever it was that you two had. That room was your little refuge, your little bubble in which there was only you and the tension in the air that had followed you all these years. It was your safe place, one where you didn't have to explain what you felt in front of anyone. You only had to look into each other's eyes to understand what you were feeling. Going through the kitchen doors meant facing the real world and that only made everything more complicated.

"I don't want to stop." You confessed finally, leaning your forehead against Spencer's as you looked into his eyes.

"Me neither." 

"Maybe... maybe we should try this out, see where it takes us." You didn't know why you were nervous to speak, you could see in Spencer's eyes that he wanted the same thing you did. You supposed it was because you weren't used to expressing your feelings in clear, concrete words. You hated feeling vulnerable even though you knew you were safe with Spencer. "I want to give us a chance, if you want that too, of course."

"I do! That's all I ever wanted." Spencer gave you one of his big, adorable smiles of his, the kind that made his eyes crinkle and radiated nothing but happiness and positive vibes. It warmed your heart every time he smiled at you like that, genuine joy written all over your face. It was hard not to return the gesture, his smile was so contagious. 

You shared one more kiss, the perfect seal of your deal. Even though you were running out of time, you took a moment to enjoy it, trying to memorize every detail, every sensation, for the future. Spencer took your face in his hands, pulling you closer to him and tilting your head so he could deepen the kiss, making the most of every second you had together. 

It left you completely breathless and a little stupid to be honest. So much so that you almost forgot you had gone there to get ice in the first place. He had to remind you before you left the kitchen empty handed, feeling secretly proud of his skills. 

"Wait!" you called out to him before Spencer disappeared behind the kitchen door. He turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow, wondering if there was something he had forgotten.

"What is it?"

"We should keep this between us, for now at least."

"Oh." He mumbled and didn't need to say anything else for you to realize he was disappointed. 

"It's not that I don't want to tell people," you rushed to say, taking a few steps towards him. "It's just that... you know how annoying Penelope can get with stuff like this. I want to explore our relationship without having her asking me about it all the time." You tried to explain, hoping he understood where you were coming from. 

There was nothing you wanted more than to go out there and shout how happy you were about all this, but your sister couldn't find out about anything yet. She had bugged you to go out with Spencer from the very beginning so you could only imagine how annoying she was going to be when she found out her wishes had been granted. You knew she meant well, but she could get a little intense at times and you'd rather have the freedom to explore your relationship with Spencer without feeling pressure from your sister every second. Besides, if things between you two didn't work out the way you hoped, you didn't want things between her and Spencer to get weird at work. You needed time to process your feelings so you'd be ready to deal with the intensity of your sister's love when she learns the truth. 

"I promise it won't be for long, just until we make sure we... work together, you know." 

Luckily for you Spencer was not angry with you. On the contrary, he agreed with you when you brought up Penelope's attitude to these issues. He wasn't one to share much about his private life anyway, so he didn't find anything unusual about keeping your relationship a secret for a while. He liked the idea of having you all to himself behind everyone else's back. It was as if you had your own separate world, your own little piece of paradise on earth. And that was exactly what he needed at this point in his life, a haven where he felt safe at all times.

So you shared one last kiss before emerging from your little bubble to face the real world, struggling to hide your happiness from a room full of profilers. It was not an easy task, but for that night you had alcohol on your side to help you.

Spencer knew from the beginning that keeping his relationship with you hidden from the team was going to be difficult. They were not only excellent profilers, but also his best friends and knew him too well to notice when he was hiding something. He liked to think that he was relatively good at lying since it was a tool he used from time to time in his work. However, lying to a suspect or an unsub was not the same as lying to his friends. He expected suspicion and curious looks from his teammates at some point in the near future, though he had to admit he was surprised at how quickly JJ seemed to realize something was up. 

It was late at night and the team was stuck in the office finishing up paperwork. Spencer couldn't wait to get out of there to be with you. Tonight was date night and even though you didn't have anything too fancy planned —just dinner at Spencer's apartment, you had learned the hard way that it was best to play it safe with his crazy work schedule—, but still,  he couldn't stop counting down the minutes until he could see you. Things between you were going great and he felt on cloud nine every time you kissed him or held his hand. He couldn't believe that after so long of dancing around each other things had worked out and now he wanted to spend every spare second of his day by your side to make up for lost time.

As soon as Emily allowed them to go home, Spencer was quick to pack up his belongings. He wanted to be the first one through the glass doors, to disappear before any of his colleagues could delay him any further. However, he wasn't quick enough since JJ managed to intercept him before he reached the elevator.

"I've been meaning to ask.... Is everything alright with you?" she asked him, lowering her voice so the few agents passing by wouldn't hear them. 

"Yes." Spencer hesitated to answer, sounding more like a question than a statement. "Why would there be anything wrong?"

"I don't know, you tell me." JJ folded her arms, waiting for an answer. When she got nothing more than a confused look from Spencer, she added, "You've been acting weird lately, like you're hiding something. You got a new phone! And you're always the first to walk out the door." JJ sounded genuinely worried about him and Spencer immediately felt bad about having to lie to her. Although he knew she would understand.

"Whatever it is that's going on you know you can talk to me, right?"

"Nothing is going on, I'm fine!" He tried to convince her friend, speaking in a calm and slow voice in an attempt to reassure her.

"Spence, do I have to worry?" JJ insisted, remembering what had happened the last time he had kept something from her.

Spencer could read the genuine concern in her expression and hear it in her voice as she spoke, so he tried his best to give her an answer that made sense but at the same time didn't give away his little secret. "There's nothing to worry about." He affirmed, giving her friend a warm smile. He appreciated that she cared so much about him, but this time it wasn't necessary. "I got the new phone so I could stay in contact with my students when I'm teaching. Apparently accessibility is a big part of the teacher/student relationship now days and I need to pay more attention to my emails."

That wasn't a lie in its entirety. The truth was that he had bought a newer phone so he could keep in touch with you. He didn't want to at first, but you managed to convince him that more modern technology would make it easier to keep your long distance relationship afloat when he traveled away for work, but it would also help you keep things hidden. Spencer knew that if you wanted your relationship to move forward you had to spend time together as a couple to actually know if you worked well together. And after having to cancel your first date three times because of a case, Spencer decided that maybe it was a good time to upgrade a little. The benefit of being able to communicate better with his students when he taught was an added bonus that had played almost no part in his decision. 

JJ looked at him with narrowed eyes, trying to search his expression for something to tell her if he was lying to her. She still felt he was hiding something, but when he smiled at her she saw pure happiness in his eyes. Then she realized that maybe there was a good reason behind his secrecy. "So I don't have to worry then?" Spencer shook his head and she smiled. "Good."

They walked together to the elevator, changing the topic of the conversation to something more trivial as the metal box transported them to the exit. As they parted ways, Spencer pulled his phone out of his pocket and hurried to let you know he was running late, but he was on his way. You responded with a picture of his apartment door, letting him know that you had arrived at his place. He then gave you permission to use the emergency key under the welcome mat so you wouldn't have to wait for him in the hallway. After all, it wasn't the first time you went to his apartment and it definitely wouldn't be the last. 

Opening his front door and finding you there with the takeout food ready to eat gave him a sense of joy he hadn't experienced before. The worries of his job, the gruesome crime scene photos and the wicked look of the unsub they had caught, all vanished from his system the moment you greeted him with a smile, telling him how much you had missed him. You were in your own little world when you got together, one that had no room for the stresses of work or everyday life. There was only peace, happiness and love. Suddenly the outside world ceased to exist, it was just him and you exploring the feelings you had hidden for so long. It was incredibly liberating in a way and made it all worthwhile. He could get used to that feeling.

Spencer wasn't the only one who had trouble keeping your secret hidden. You might not work with excellent profilers, but you lived with Penelope Garcia herself, which was almost the same thing. You thought that maybe the fact that your sister had such a demanding job or that Spencer traveled from state to state on a regular basis would play in your favor —you had no big plans to hide from anyone and Penelope was hardly ever home to pick up on anything anyway—, but you were wrong. Penelope didn't need more than a quick glance in your direction to raise an eyebrow accusingly. 

"You're seeing things." You tried to defend yourself when she confronted you about it. "I think you need to take some time off, the stress is getting to you."

"Oh no, you can't lie to me. There's something going on with you, I can sense it." She insisted, chasing you into the living room and standing in front of the TV so you couldn't avoid her gaze.

"You can sense it?" you repeated in fake disbelief. You were sure she could, she knew you too well not to realize you were hiding something from her.

"Yes! You're glowing, you have this, this... happiness aura you didn't have before. What's going on?"

You rolled your eyes, though you had to bite your tongue to keep from smiling. You did feel like you were glowing and, although it was inconvenient, it was nice to know that others could notice it too. It was the happiest you had been in a long time and it was all thanks to Spencer's company. 

"Nothing is going on, Penelope." You tried to convince her. "I promise."

She looked at you for a moment, squinting her eyes as if deciding whether it was a good idea to believe you or not. Finally she said, "You would tell me if there was something going on with you, right? You wouldn't keep it from me, would you?"

"Of course not! I promise you that when something good happens to me, you'll be the first to know." You felt terrible as soon as the words came out of your mouth. You didn't like lying to your sister, but it was for the best. Your relationship with Spencer was too new to be announced to others, you wanted to be able to enjoy a little more of the privacy and intimacy you were able to have by keeping everything a secret. Penelope would learn the truth eventually, but for now you wanted to keep things as they were. You were sure she would understand.

Penelope didn't say anything, she just sat down next to you and turned up the volume on the TV to watch whatever you had on together with you. You thought you were in the clear, that you had effectively eased her curiosity with your promise, but then your phone vibrated. The screen lit up with a new notification, drawing two pairs of eyes to the device resting on the coffee table. You reached out to grab it, immediately recognizing the contact who was texting you, but Penelope was quicker.

"Who is... 'S plus heart emoji' and why are they asking you if you can go over to their place?" She looked at you with an accusatory raised eyebrow and you almost let out a growl of frustration. How could she be so lucky? You and Spencer hardly ever texted, you always talked on the phone, and the one time he texted you she was there to read it. Fate hated you.

"That's... Sophie, my friend from work." You lied, hoping you sounded convincing enough so Penelope wouldn't ask too many questions. "She's going through a tough break up and I'm helping her whenever I can. Her ex boyfriend is an ass and I told her that whenever she felt bad and had the urge to talk to him she should call me instead."

Penelope couldn't argue much against that, leaving you alone the moment you mentioned broken hearts. Once again you felt guilty about lying to her, but all your worries disappeared when you set foot in Spencer's apartment. The smell of wood and old books hit you as soon as he opened the door, making you feel at home. It wasn't the first time you were there, since you were still living with Penelope most of your secret meetings had to be at his home to avoid being discovered. You were already more than familiar with the place and the beautiful scent that you could identify as the very essence of Spencer. It was your favorite smell in the world since it reminded you of him. 

"I don't think she's onto us, but she definitely knows something’s up." You told Spencer as you snuggled on his couch. You didn't have any plans in mind, you just wanted to feel each other's warmth close by, taking advantage of Spencer's day off to relax together like a real couple. You had your head resting on his chest, listening to the soft beating of his heart as he wrapped his arms around you, his nose hidden in your hair, inhaling the floral scent of your shampoo. It was his favorite scent in the world, associated with happiness and love since he recognized it as your very essence.

"Would that be so bad?" he blurted out without thinking before speaking, letting his heart take over his lips. "Getting caught, I mean. Would it be so bad if the others knew about us?" It was a question that had been bouncing around in his head for a while now. When you had sat down to talk through the implications of your arrangement, you decided it was best to keep things under wraps until you found out if you worked as well as a couple as you did as friends. The point was to keep things from getting weird with the rest of the team —especially Penelope— if things between you two didn't work out. Spencer thought it was a good idea and agreed to wait to announce your relationship to the others. But now that some time had passed since that day, he couldn't help but wonder how much longer you'd keep hiding it.

It wasn't that he didn't like it, he loved your secret dates and sneaky texts. Your relationship had become a kind of refuge, a sanctuary where he could go to escape the outside world. Yet he couldn't help but wonder if maybe the reason you wanted to keep things secret was that you weren't sure how you felt about him. Spencer was ready to let the world know he loved you and thought you felt the same way, but lately he wasn't so sure.

"I mean, w-we were supposed to do this until we figured out if we worked as a couple, right? I-I d-don't know about you, but I think this works, right?" Spencer added, stumbling over his words because of nerves. He didn't want to sound like he was pressuring you, far from it, he was willing to wait as long as he had to for you, but he needed some kind of confirmation that you felt the same way he did in order to ease his anxious mind. "I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, we don't have to tell people if you're not ready... I just-"

"Spence," you interrupted his ramblings, lifting your head from his chest so you could look him in the eye. He looked terrified in the most adorable way possible, looking at you with wide eyes as he waited for a response. "It works." You stated with a smile and felt him relax beneath you. "We work great together. That's not why I want to keep us a secret anymore."

"Then what is it?" You let out a sigh as you tried to find the right words to express what you felt. It wasn't that you didn't want to tell the world how happy you were with Spencer by your side, god knew that keeping your mouth shut was a challenge that was getting harder every day. But you knew that the moment you did, you would lose the special kind of intimacy you had now that no one knew about you. You knew that the moment you made your relationship public you would have Penelope bugging you with her questions, wanting to know every detail after pushing you to date him since day one. And you knew the other members of the group wouldn't be far behind. You and Spencer were like the babies in the family that was the BAU so it was inevitable to have them hovering over your shoulders looking over your shoulder with every step you took.

"I just... I know the second we tell people they're gonna be all over our business and I hate that. I love what we have and after all the time it took us to get here, I just want to enjoy this a little more, have you all to myself." Your answer seemed to be enough to erase the doubt in Spencer's eyes. He smiled at you in relief and you reached up to kiss him. 

The lingering doubts in his mind vanished as he felt the way your lips moved over his, your tongue caressing him in that slow, sensual way that drove him crazy. He let your kisses soothe him, losing himself in you and in the warm sensation that your closeness always aroused inside him. You worked your magic on him, replacing every negative thought in his mind with love and comfort just with the touch of your lips on his. It was amazing how quickly you could invade his mind, making him forget the world around him in a matter of seconds. It was an ability that only you possessed and it showed how madly in love with you he really was.

“Besides, you can't deny that keeping it a secret makes things more... interesting.” You whispered against his lips as you pulled away in need of air. There was a mischievous sparkle in your eyes that revealed exactly where your mind was going and he couldn't help but blush. Flashes of the nights you had shared together appeared in his mind, the sound of your agitated voice pronouncing his name like a mantra as you came undone under his touch replaying in his ears. 

"Those late night calls while your colleagues are only a few feet away, sleeping on the jet or separated only by the thin walls of a motel room." You teased him, your voice low and sultry as you settled into his lap. The atmosphere in the room changed quickly, the tension heavy in the air as you playfully teased Spencer, scattering kisses up and down his neck. You could feel him tensing beneath you, his hands flying to your hips, clinging to your skin in warning.

"Those pictures that I sent you while you were still at work," you purred in his ear, grinding your hips against his. Spencer closed his eyes, letting out a long gasp as he remembered the episode you referred to. Nothing could have prepared him for those messages, seeing you lying on your sheets wearing only one of his unbuttoned shirts and a red lace bra was too much for his poor heart. He had been lucky that his colleagues were distracted, otherwise he would not have been able to hide the clear reaction of surprise and desire that your messages had awakened in him. 

"I thought we were just going to hang out today." Spencer said, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. He tightened his grip on your waist, guiding your slow movements and pressing you against his growing erection.

"I got bored." You pouted. "I wanna play."

Spencer couldn't resist your charms even if he wanted to.

You didn't realize that agreeing to go to a bar with the BAU team was a mistake until it was too late. When Penelope invited you, you thought it would be a good idea to get out of the house for a while and it would give you a good excuse to be close to Spencer. You were prepared for the tension and having to hold the urge to kiss him in front of everyone, at this point it was part of your routine. What you weren't prepared for was how many women seemed to find your boyfriend attractive.

You couldn't blame them though, Spencer looked especially sexy in that black suit with his hair slightly messed up. The knot of his tie was loose and his shirt sleeves were rolled up, exposing the skin of his forearm. Your eyes got lost following the path of his veins, remembering the way they stood out more clearly every time his hand closed around your neck or your hips when you were alone in his room. It was honestly torture to have him in front of you looking so sensual and not being able to do anything about it. Even worse was having to watch every woman in the bar try her luck with him, coming up to flirt whenever he was alone. And there was nothing you could do about it, not without revealing your little secret at least.

"You should have listened to me, little one." Your sister's cheerful voice startled you. You looked away from the woman chatting with Spencer at the bar to turn your gaze to Penelope, who was looking at you with a smile that said I told you so.

"Huh?"

"If you had listened to me when I told you to go for it, you wouldn't have that look on your face right now."

"What look?" You played dumb, taking a long sip of your drink. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were staring at boy wonder talking with that woman over there." Penelope rolled her eyes, tired of hearing you deny your feelings for Spencer. It had been clear to her from day one that you were right for each other and she couldn't understand how you still weren't together.

"I was not!"

"Are you kidding me? If looks could kill, that poor woman would be on the floor right now."

"Very funny, Penny, but I wasn't looking at them." You tried to lie, avoiding looking your sister in the eyes for fear she might read the truth in your gaze. Keeping your relationship with Spencer a secret was one thing, but hiding your jealousy was something you apparently couldn't do.

"If it makes you feel any better he doesn't seem that interested in her." Penelope continued speaking, completely ignoring your previous comment. "You should go talk to him, I'm sure he'd rather be with you anyway."

"No. You know what I'm gonna do?" Penelope shook her head, watching you drink what was left in your glass in one sip before rising from your seat next to her. "I'm gonna buy another round."

You walked away from the table before your sister could protest, heading to the bar to get more alcohol. You were going to need a lot more to be able to handle this whole situation, otherwise jealousy was going to eat you up inside. You bumped into Spencer on purpose as you walked past him, successfully getting his attention.

"Careful with those, the rest of the team is pretty drunk and I'm going to need your help to make sure they get home safely." Spencer said, appearing at your side only a couple of minutes later.

"I can handle my liquor, I'll be fine." You sounded colder than you intended, mistakenly taking your jealousy out on him. Spencer noticed something was wrong with you right away, frowning at your sudden moodiness.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes!" you lied to him, answering without even looking at him. But you immediately regretted it, realizing that it was stupid to lie when you were doing such a bad job of hiding your jealousy. "No, it's not! That woman was flirting with you."

"No she wasn't!" Spencer said and you looked at him with narrowed eyes, deciding if he was serious or if he was playing you for a fool. It didn't take you long to figure out that the confusion in his expression was genuine and then you couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh.

“You can’t possibly be that naive! Half the women in here have been eye fucking you since we arrived.”

“So what? I don’t care about any of them.” The casual tone in which he spoke was almost as annoying as the women in that bar. You knew he was right, you didn't doubt his feelings for you, but you still hated having to watch all those strangers approach him thinking they had a chance. Spencer was yours and you were desperate to let them know, but you couldn't and it was driving you crazy.

"It's annoying, that's what!" you complained, crossing your arms and pouting. "I can't even hold your hand to let them all know you're mine." Spencer's hand traveled to your cheek, taking advantage of the fact that you were far enough away from the rest of the team to be seen. You leaned into his touch, enjoying the warmth of his skin against yours. You missed him and honestly didn't know how much longer you could stand it in this place without being able to touch him or have him near you.

"But that's part of the fun, isn't it?" He echoed the point you had made when he had come to you with a similar concern. You suddenly felt the urge to hit him, and you would have if it weren't for that adorable smile on his face. You couldn't stay mad at him when he looked at you with that face.

"You're lucky you're cute." You warned him, pointing an accusatory finger at him and making him laugh.

"C'mon, I'll stay with you the whole night if that makes you feel better." Spencer promised you, helping you carry the drinks to the table with the rest of your friends.

He kept his word, sitting next to you and not moving from his spot, but that didn't make you feel any better. You could still feel the curious glances of the women around him, wondering if he was single, hoping to get a chance to talk to him. You hated it and the alcohol in your veins wasn't making it any easier. You weren't necessarily drunk, but you did feel a little more liberated and uninhibited. You were a little tipsy and something you did a lot when you were in that state was touching and hugging anyone who was unlucky enough to be next to you. That combined with the jealousy that overwhelmed you was a recipe for disaster. 

You started with simple, inconspicuous things, taking Spencer's hand under the table and bringing your leg up on top of his. No one could see you, but it gave you a sense of closeness that calmed your anxious mind. But as the night progressed those hidden caresses turned out to be more and more about satisfying your need for him.

You needed to feel his warmth embracing your body, his lips on yours as he showed you how much he loved you. But, since you knew that wasn't possible —at least not until you left that place—, you settled for resting your head on his shoulder as you chatted, snuggling against him as if you were the only people there, too distracted by the ridiculous way your drunken friends danced on the dance floor. It was as if you were in your own bubble, enjoying your night together as a couple without anyone knowing. It was nice to share that complicity, to look into each other's eyes and understand each other without having to use words. 

"Are you feeling better?" Spencer asked you, taking his eyes off the dance floor to look at you. You smiled and nodded, feeling your heart fill with love as you lost yourself in the changing color of his eyes. You had to try hard to contain the urge to kiss him that came over you at that moment. And you were lucky you did because otherwise Emily, who appeared out of nowhere, would have discovered you.

"Hey guys, have you seen my phon...?" Her voice trailed off when she saw the pose you were in, her eyes immediately noticing your hands clasped together on the table. You pulled away from Spencer as quickly as you could, but you still weren't able to stop a smile from forming on Prentiss' lips - though you were grateful that she had tried to contain it. 

"Nevermind, carry on." She said, disappearing as quickly as she had appeared in the first place. You let out a growl of frustration, hiding your face in your hands as you promised yourself that you were never going to drink again.

Your heart dropped when you heard Emily's voice on the other end of the line telling you that Penelope and Spencer had been kidnapped. You hadn't even cut the call and you were already running out of your apartment, rushing to your car and on your way to the FBI headquarters where two of the most important people in your life worked. Your brain was on autopilot, reduced to controlling your movement and basic life functions. Your mind was blank, too shocked and scared to even try to process what was happening. You knew that the moment you started thinking about what might be happening to your sister and the love of your life was the moment you would lose your sanity, so you tried your best to keep your mind free of all thoughts. You had to stay strong for them, concentrate all your energy on your desire to see them safe and sound again and maybe the universe would listen. 

You lost all sense of time as you paced around the office where Emily had allowed you to wait while they worked, promising to get back to you as soon as they made any progress on the case. You felt like a caged lion, pacing back and forth while muttering to yourself that everything was going to be okay. Both Penelope and Spencer had had this job for so many years, that had to count for something, right? If anyone had the tools to survive a situation like that it was them. 

You felt like you were going crazy locked in that dark office. But then the door opened, revealing a very shocked, but safe and sound Penelope. You ran into your sister's arms, letting tears roll down your cheeks as you clung to her, relieved to feel her sweet embrace once again. You went back to your childhood for a moment, remembering the one time you had shared a hug like that in the past. You had just learned of the fatal fate your parents had met and through tears and sobs you clung to your sister. You cried together for what felt like an eternity, and in that embrace you vowed to always be there for each other. Just as you were doing at that very moment.

“He told me to run, so I did… I left him there, how could I have left him there?” Penelope sobbed into your shoulder, feeling responsible for Spencer's future. Through tears, she managed to tell you how she had managed to escape thanks to him, how she had had a small window of time to run and how she had had to ignore the sounds of the commotion Spencer had created in order to escape —even the sound of gunshots. You'd be lying if you said your stomach hadn't dropped when you heard her say that, immediately fearing for your boyfriend's safety, but you knew that wasn't the time to panic. Penelope needed you to be strong, so you swallowed your emotions so you could comfort her. 

"Penelope, listen to me." you said, pulling away from her so you could look her in the eye. "None of this is your fault, okay? Spencer made his choice, he's a smart man, you know that. He probably has a plan, he knows what he's doing. He's going to be fine, the team is going to find him and bring him back." You tried to reason with her and yourself, seeking to comfort your sister while calming your nerves with your own words. 

"But what if they don't get him in time? W-What if... what if they hurt him before we can get to him?"

"That's not gonna happen, not as long as you're out there using that brilliant brain of yours to help your team to find him." You assured her, giving her a warm smile as you wiped away her tears with your thumb. "You need to stay strong for him right now, alright? You have to help him get back home." It was a plea for help hidden in words of encouragement, a subtle way of begging her to bring Spencer back into your arms. It wasn't fair to ask that of her after all she'd been through, you knew that, but you were desperate. 

You knew she was just as desperate as you were, though, so she nodded at your words, wiping away her tears and letting out a long sigh before putting her glasses back on and heading back to her office to do what she did best. 

Once again you were left alone, pacing around the empty office with your thoughts as your only company. You hated the waiting, the uncertainty and the fear tightening in your chest and making it hard to breathe. You wanted to believe that Spencer would be okay, but the truth was you didn't know. There was no way to be sure the team would get to him in time and the mere possibility that something bad could happen to him was driving you crazy.

Your eyes were glued to the screen of your phone, reading over and over again the last texts you and Spencer had shared as you prayed they wouldn't turn out to be your final conversation. He had warned you that he would be a little late and apologized for ruining your first dinner in your new apartment. You had been quick to reply that it wasn't a problem, assuring him that the extra time would help you finish preparing dinner. Your last message telling him you loved him and to be careful still remained unread and you couldn't help but wonder if he really knew how much you meant it. You hoped he knew how much you loved him and how happy you were to have him in your life. He was the best thing that ever happened to you and you refused to accept that your story would end like this after all you had gone through to be together.

Just as you were about to go to Penelope to ask her if they had any progress on the case, your phone vibrated with a message from her. You almost dropped the device to the floor when you read the words 'Spencer is fine', feeling your muscles relax as a wave of relief swept through your body. You didn't even answer her, opting to go find her to ask her what she knew. However, you discovered that she wasn't in her office, so you went to the conference room where they used to have all their meetings. Then you saw through the glass the crowd of people gathered in the bullpen, among whom you distinguished the figure of Spencer being hugged and kissed by his friends.

You ran out of the office into his arms without a second thought, breaking some speed record in the process. When you called his name he turned to you and your vision blurred with tears as you noticed the purplish red tone on the skin of his temple and the corner of his lips. You hated to see him hurt, even though it was minimal considering the complexity of the situation. You knew things could have turned out much worse, but you still couldn't help but be upset at the image of the love of your life beaten and hurt.

“Thank god you’re okay, I was so worried.” You murmured against his chest as Spencer pulled you tightly into his arms. You let the warmth of his body envelop you, slowly calming your nerves. He was there. He was okay. He had come back to you and that was all that mattered to you.

"I'm okay," he assured you, placing a delicate kiss on the crown of your head. The scent of your hair brought him back home, filling his insides with that warm feeling that only you awakened in him. He was fine, he had you in his arms and that was all he needed to regain his composure.

You pulled away briefly so you could look at him, taking his face in your hands while your eyes scanned his wounds. It was nothing serious, just a couple of bruises that would disappear in a few days. You let your fingers caress his skin delicately before shortening the little distance that separated you, joining your lips in a kiss. You didn't think about the fact that you were in the middle of the office or that the entire BAU team was behind you watching the scene, the world around you wasn't a concern at that moment. You only cared about Spencer and the way his lips moved against yours, showing you how happy he was to be back in your arms too. 

It was a delicate, yet powerful kiss. You didn't want to put too much pressure on his lips so as not to hurt him, but you didn't need it to let him know how much you loved him and how worried you had been about him. For a moment you had thought that you weren't going to get another chance to do that, to kiss him with everything you had, to tell him that you loved him one more time. It was something that terrified you, so now that you finally had him back with you, you didn't want to pass up the chance to join your lips one more time.

However, your beautiful magical moment was interrupted by the high pitched voice of Penelope, who was admiring the scene with surprise.

“Oh my god! You two!”

You abruptly pulled away from Spencer, finally realizing what you had done. You were grateful to have your back to the team, so the only one who could see the panic in your eyes was your boyfriend, who smiled at you in amusement. You knew the situation wasn't so terrible, but this wasn't how you had imagined telling others about your relationship with Spencer. 

"I fucked it up, didn't I?" you whispered so only he could hear you. 

"Yep."

"And they're all staring at us, aren't they?" Spencer looked over your shoulder for a moment, passing his gaze over the group of profilers who were admiring you with surprised and happy expressions on their faces. Then he returned his gaze to your face and nodded, earning a grunt from you as you hid into his chest, seeking refuge from the inevitable comments and questions that were to come.

"I can't believe you two! How could you keep this a secret?" You heard Penelope complaining behind your back, speaking increasingly faster and in a high-pitched tone. "How long has this been going on?"

"You don't really want to know." You told her, emerging from your refuge in Spencer's chest to face your sister. She let out a gasp, clearly surprised by your response.

"How long?" she insisted, almost feeling betrayed that you kept something so important hidden from her for who knows how long.

You and Spencer shared a look before you let out a sigh. "Since your birthday party at Rossi's place." You confessed and Penelope's jaw dropped, unable to believe that you had been able to keep your relationship a secret for so long. "Oh and also, since we're sharing, I don't have any friends named Sophie." You added, amused by your sister's expression.

"Oh I'm so mad right now, but I'm also so happy for you guys! You’re so lucky I love you! Come here!" Penelope enveloped you in a tight hug before you could object. She planted a loud kiss on each of your cheeks, repeating how happy she was for you, before letting the rest of the team congratulate you. 

"I knew I saw something between you the other day!" Emily stressed, remembering when she had caught you together at the bar. Now that she knew the truth it was obvious that you were together, but at the time she hadn't given it much thought. You guys had been dancing around each other since she had joined the team so many years ago, so she thought it was just you being you. She was happy to be wrong though, you two deserved to finally be happy.

You were enveloped in the warm love of your friends, who showered you with positive wishes for your future. It was a nice ending to such a horrible day, exactly what you needed to finally quiet your troubled mind. It definitely wasn't the way you imagined revealing your relationship with Spencer, but you were happy it had happened. It reminded you that as long as you had Spencer by your side and your family close by life was beautiful no matter the adversities.

[geeks-universe]

Cooper Howard x F!Reader (not to spoil it, but you know I love my crossovers so…)

The Fallen pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once, when the world was younger and you were still naive enough to believe in fate, you asked your father about love.

He’d laughed then- a deep, cheery kind, that spoke of a wisdom you could never hope to achieve.

“In time,” he’d promised, taking your hands into his, “You’ll learn that love comes in many forms, and the love you choose will always be the greatest.”

Even after everything, after years and years of disappointment, of cruelty and emptiness, you couldn’t forget his words.

So, in an act of rebellion, you chose love.

You chose the love of your brother, the brother who would lose everything, who would fall from Grace, just for defying fate.

You chose the human race, who turned their back on you, who hurt you over and over again.

You chose a better life, that seemed impossible most days- but sometimes, just sometimes, everybody lives.

And you chose wrong.

The world tore itself apart, and just when you wanted to believe it could find itself again, it would fall into the greatest trap in human history: greed.

The love in your soul turned to dust, like the cities you’d once roamed, crumbling until all that remained was an empty space and broken dreams. You’d held onto what you could of yourself, desperate to piece together the fragments into something that resembled the person you’d been, but there was no hope. The spark of hope you’d once kindled and raised to an inferno was doused, nothing but ashes in the ocean of your disappointment.

There were still a few things you couldn’t abide by, however, and Cooper Howard dragging an innocent woman through the desolate Wastelands was one of them.

You’d happened upon the scene by accident, just passing through, but the familiarity of the figure had you lurking longer than what was normally deemed safe.

“Coop?”

Your voice was gentle, like the beginning strums of a sweet song. Cooper wasn’t sure how the harshness that had etched itself into your demeanor never invaded your speech, but he would be eternally grateful. It was a goddamn godsend he didn’t believe he ever deserved.

“Well, now,” he drawled, careful to keep the smile that threatened to peek through hidden. “Last I heard, you were headed East.”

You had no such reservations, and even the years of guilt and pain couldn’t wipe away the upturn of your lips. For an action so small, it sure did radiate in a way the sun never could.

“I did, but it didn’t stick,” you shrugged, grabbing the straps of your backpack. Never one for subtlety, you gestured at the vault-dweller, who had been eyeing you with a keen interest.

She had been quiet, obviously, for the sake of herself and how Cooper might react to her asking for help. Now that you’d acknowledged her, though, she started speaking up, much to Cooper’s chagrin.

“I’m Lucy,” she said, tugging harshly at the restraints around her neck. “I’m looking for my father.”

You nodded, and the fluttering in Lucy’s heart slowed, fear mixing with her initial curiosity. You knew the ghoul holding her captive, the chances of you helping her were slim to none, but she tried to remain optimistic. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a good person on the surface.

“Might be hard to do with that,” your eyes flicked from her neck to Cooper, with a pointed raise of one brow.

He let out a low whistle, leaning back with the confidence of a man who’d lived long enough to not be afraid of shit. If it were anyone else, friend or not, he would’ve shot them dead and been done with it. He didn’t need to answer to anyone, but something deep in his chest forced his hands steady.

“She broke my vials,” he explained, cautiously avoiding your gaze. “Seems only fair she gets me more.”

“He used me as bait!” Lucy argued indignantly, trying to take a step towards you only to be tugged back by Cooper. “I had to do something.”

“Your father,” the word is strained, a haunting in your eyes Lucy can’t place, “Where is he?”

Lucy tried, once again, to walk to you. Coop, however, was keeping her on a tight leash, refusing to let her near you. It’s for his benefit, he tells himself, even if some small part of him does it for your protection.

Over the years, he’s run into you many, many times. No matter how hard he’s tried, it’s like fate keeps bringing him back to you. At first, he’d been downright horrible to you, terrified to admit that there was something in your eyes that made him feel human again. Slowly, ever slowly, like a stubborn weed you grew on him, and it’s been impossible for him to deny the way his body reacts to you.

“Coop,” you chide, your voice like velvet, enveloping his skin in a soft warmth. Fuck, he did love it when you used his name.

You gave Lucy a half smile, and the growl that threatened to leave Cooper’s mouth got caught in his throat as he realized you weren’t walking to her, but to him.

“I’ll get you the vials, just let her find her dad.”

He stood a little taller as you approached, planting his hands on his belt as he ran his tongue along his teeth.

“Darlin’, I ain’t doing this for the hell of it,” he replied, and then paused. “Mostly.”

You reached your hands out, carefully enveloping them around where he was grasping the rope. In all his years, he hadn’t recalled a single touch ever stirring his stomach the way yours did. You’d only ever touched him once before, and it was a brief graze of his cheek. This was intentful, and it felt a hell of a lot more intimate than it had any right to be.

“Please,” you breathed, and he could see the despair in your eyes - eyes that were far too old for someone who looked so young. He could never quite piece together how you fit in this world, or how you managed to look as if you’d stepped right out of the past just to have this moment with him.

He sighed, maintaining a scowl for all he was worth. Cooper Howard would not let you see the effect you had on him.

“Thank you, Coop.”

His stubborn heart skipped a beat as he clenched his jaw, his expression emanating annoyance. You weren’t perturbed, however, turning away to free Lucy.

“I’m (Y/N),” you introduced yourself, careful not to irritate the marks on her neck further. Cooper was rough around the edges, you knew that, but you saw the man beneath the armor in the little moments, the times he couldn’t quite hide who he was.

It intrigued you, made you think about yourself and the person you’d become. Perhaps, you had been too hasty in throwing that person away. Maybe, that part of yourself was still alive too, buried underneath layers of armor.

“Thank you,” she was sincere in her gratitude, and that tiny piece of yourself flared, begging to be remembered.

“I could help you too, you know,” you offered after a delayed pause, chasing the optimism she held tightly onto.

No matter how hard you tried, your soul fought back, demanded to be whole again.

“Really?” Her surprise morphed to joy, and you found it contagious.

“Now hold on just a damn minute,” Cooper interrupted, not pleased with that development. “Your services are required elsewhere.”

“I’m capable of servicing more than just you.”

His leg twitched at the insinuation, at the way you looked at him from beneath your lashes with an innocence he doubted you possessed.

“But, since you asked so nicely cowboy,” your smile was devious, your tone far too sultry for the sweltering heat of the desert. “You first.”

Lucy’s brows were to her hairline, unsure what to make of the dynamic between the two of you. Her entertainment, however, was cut blissfully short when you threw a canteen towards her, which she caught instinctually.

“Now you’re coddling her, sweetheart?”

You took a moment to wrap the lasso Cooper carried around into a neat loop, your gaze locked with his as you approached once more. Lucy was too preoccupied with her water to notice the two of you sizing one another up.

“Don’t be jealous, Coop,” you grabbed the front of his belt roughly, forcing him a step closer to you.

He fell into the motion, tracing his eyes dangerously slow from where you gripped his belt to the soft curve of your lips.

“You’re still my favorite,” you promised on a breath as you tucked his lasso securely into his waist.

His hands snatched your wrists before you pulled away, and for a brief moment, the intermingling of your breath was all that interrupted the silence. His gaze was a challenge, and yours was far too playful.

It was damn near unfair how you could walk through the apocalypse and still look like you belonged on a fucking billboard. There was an unnatural allure around you, and he wasn’t sure if it was the twinkle in your eyes, or the smoothness of your skin, or the gentle bur of your voice- but holy fuck you looked like an angel that’d accidentally stumbled into hell.

The silence was interrupted by Lucy clearing her throat, an awkward smile as she caught your attention.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but-“

“It’s okay,” you assure her, grazing your fingers along Cooper’s palms as you step from his proximity.

“Vials first, daddy dearest after,” you reminded them, taking the lead.

Lucy was more than happy to walk beside you, while Cooper trailed a small distance behind. Where Lucy was insistent on speaking, keeping up a steady conversation through the long trek, Cooper preferred to observe.

First, he focused on the way your black jumpsuit hugged all the right areas, tight enough it could be considered a damn sin. That train of thought was dangerous though, and left him with an ache he knew he couldn’t satisfy on his own.

So, he instead focused on the way you effortlessly dodged Lucy’s line of questions, and redirected the questions to learn about her. It was curious, that. As much of a tight lipped bastard that Cooper was, you were doubly so. Through the years and the friendly encounters, he’d let some of his life slip in conversation. Nothing substantial, but you certainly knew more tidbits than anyone else.

He, however, didn’t know anything about you. He knew what he observed, but you never told him anything about your past.

It helped pass the time, sifting through your noncommittal answers to make assumptions about the life you lived.

It was difficult though.

Sometimes, you talked about things like you’d witnessed them, even though it would’ve been impossible. He didn’t know your age exactly, but if he had to guess, he’d put you at maybe mid-twenties, and that’s at the oldest. It was damn near a miracle you didn’t have any missing limbs or obvious scarring. You looked as unmarked as a damn vault dweller, and he was starting to think that perhaps you had been one.

“Have you always lived on the surface?”

He never thought he’d be thankful for the damn vault dweller, but it was nice having someone try to pry some answers out of you.

“That’s a harder question to answer than you’d think,” you laughed a little coyly, like there was a joke that only you were privy to.

When it was obvious you weren’t going to continue speaking, and Lucy had far too many manners to push any further on the subject, she asked another question.

“Why’d you help me?“

Your gaze turned toward the setting sun. It had been over half the day since you’d decided to help them both, and the sun was just now slipping below the horizon. The three of you would have to rest soon.

“It’s hard to forget the person I was,” you admitted lowly.

The symphony that was your voice turned decidedly melancholy, unnaturally so. Normally, it sounded more like a romantic string of tunes that captured the essence of life. This, however, was sad, dead.

“Maybe the world needs more people like that,” Lucy provided, and Cooper didn’t miss the flash of guilt that devastated your expression.

Curious, indeed.

“I’d reckon that’s the last place we’ll find ‘fore the sun disappears,” Coop states, pointing to a rickety, old house, somehow still standing against the desert in defiance.

“It’s as good a place as any for the night,” you shrugged, leading the small group to the rest spot.

Where Cooper was cautious, weapon drawn, you were careless, opening the door like you knew nothing was in there that could hurt you. He felt a twinge of annoyance that you would be that reckless, knowing the dangers of the Wasteland. He was many things, but a protector was certainly not one of them.

“Here,” Lucy tried to hand you back the canteen you’d gifted her earlier as you settled yourself down in a corner.

The building was definitely empty, and provided some amount of protection from both the elements and any creatures lurking about, but there wasn’t any intact furniture. You’d found a relatively comfortable pile of sand and laid your pack down, as if it were a pillow.

“Keep it,” you refused to take the offering. You were honestly a bit surprised she had even saved some for you.

“But you haven’t had anything to drink all day.”

It was an oddity that Cooper had noticed too. While both he and the vault-dweller had taken an occasional sip of water or a bite to eat, you hadn’t done either, and the brutal pace you’d set hadn’t reflected that.

“Believe me, “ you said, turning your back to your two traveling companions. “I’m okay.”

Obviously unsatisfied with leaving the conversation, Lucy frowned, but obeyed. Her probing look to the ghoul warranted no answers, and eventually she found her own patch of sand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed along in a similar manner, and the more of you that the two observed, the more confused they became. They didn’t voice their concerns, however, far more focused on the destination you had in mind.

“It’s…”

Lucy trailed off, side eyeing you with a questioning look.

“A lab,” you supplied.

“Right, a lab!” She echoed enthusiastically, deciding it best not to point out that it was very much in a state of disrepair and the likelihood of anything surviving the looting prevalent throughout the Wastelands was little to none.

“Sugar, I don’t have the time to be fucking around right now.”

It was the closest tone to anger that Cooper had spoken to you since his first year of knowing you. In the past two days specifically his coughing had grown more severe and more often.

You’d explained a generalized version of what would happen without help to Lucy after the first night, and since then she’d been a bit more apologetic to the ghoul, even if he was a dick.

“Stay out here,” you ordered, not waiting for their inevitable protest as you slipped into the decrepit building with a loud screech of the door.

At the very least, your traveling companions didn’t follow you into the descending hallway, which was more than you expected.

Whatever source had powered the underground facility had died years ago, leaving the bulk of the supplies sealed tight behind an impenetrable door. The bunker was lined with 2 feet of lead, and a door weighing many tons. It was nigh impossible to get in, and if you were anyone else, you would’ve considered it a lost cause.

Instead, you cast a glance back towards the faded light where the entrance was, ensuring that you were not followed while you grabbed hold of the door handle.

You sighed, yanking with a great deal of force until the door made a loud pop, coming unhinged and falling to the ground with a deafening thud. There was a hushed murmur from where Lucy had yelled down to you, but you didn’t bother replying, instead focused on the rows and rows of vials.

Most of the initial testing sites were still secret, a forgotten part of history that, despite their usefulness in the current state of the world, had fallen into the cracks of negligence. Luckily for you, and by extension Cooper, there was enough supply to last him damn near a year if he could ration and store it properly.

Just as you dropped the first vial into your backpack, which was in a convenient metal container, you heard a distinct whooshing noise. You didn’t need to look at the falling object to know who had decided to drop by, and with an exasperated sigh, you tilted your head toward the ceiling of the very dark, very cold bunker.

“Brother…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think we should check on her?” Lucy was having trouble keeping still, straining her eyes down the dark hallway. “What if she’s hurt?“

“She ain’t hurt,” Cooper shot back, leaning back against the dingy building and crossing his arms over his chest.

“She could be de-“

“Finish that sentence and you might find yourself there, sweetheart,” He threatened, his fingers reaching down toward his holstered gun.

Maybe it’d be better to keep her mouth shut, but after a tense silence, and quite literally nothing better to do, Lucy couldn’t help herself.

“So, you and (Y/N)-“

“Do you like breathin’? ‘Cause I’m getting the distinct feeling that you certainly do not.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you look at her with this-“

“I have no qualms with blasting a hole through your head ‘nd tellin’ her you decided to run off.”

“And then there’s the way she talks to you-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there, sweetheart. If one more word comes out of your mouth, it’ll be the last.”

The two met stare for stare, the threat lingering in the hot breeze between them. Lucy had no doubt she was beginning to grate on the ghoul’s nerves, but she also didn’t really think he’d harm her, not when it was obvious you’d know it was him that did so.

He wouldn’t risk you being upset with him.

Probably.

And because Lucy really didn’t know when to stop talking, she spoke one more time.

“I know that you think I’m naive, and maybe I am, but I do know that life is unexpected and people die, like, a lot.” She dragged in a breath, envisioning her last, and only, memory with her mother, surprised that Cooper had actually let her speak for this long without interrupting.

“Especially up here, so maybe, just… keep that in mind.”

The silence stretched, and for a long moment, Lucy was sure he was going to shoot her. Or at the very least, not answer.

Ever so quietly, however, in a low grumble she heard him mutter, “I know.”

The air felt significantly less murderous after that, and she left the ghoul to contemplate his complex feelings on the subject. She might not fully understand the extent of your connection, or even why you felt that way towards him, but she could appreciate the raw emotion that sparked in the conversation between you both.

If anything good came out of her coming to the surface, besides bringing her dad home, she hopes it would be them realizing the gift they have. Idly, she thought about the knight she’d met back at Filly. That was the first real connection she’d had with anyone, as silly as it was to think about.

“I’m glad nobody’s shot,” you interrupted the quiet contemplation, the smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes.

Whatever happened in the mysterious lab couldn’t have been good, but you seemed entirely unscathed outside the haunted, nervous look in your eyes.

“Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Cooper greeted, tipping his hat back a titch so he could inspect your person. If he took a little extra time to appreciate the curves of your body- well, who could blame him?

“It’s cleared out,” you rattled your pack in the air before you, nearly dropping some of the overstuffed vials.

Coop let out a low whistle, and Lucy commented, “That’s enough for a lifetime.”

“Not quite,” you laughed, passing along the top one to Cooper. “But it will certainly last a while.”

While the ghoul tended to his needs, Lucy and you wandered further into the Wasteland, eyeing the pipboy on her wrist with the directions to the head.

“So the head for your dad?”

There it was again. The sourness in your voice at the word “dad”. Lucy wanted to ask without being too terribly intrusive, but let the subject drop.

“Did anything happen in the lab?”

You bummed, shaking your head. It was clearly a lie, further proven by the frown that settled on your lips. There wasn’t a lot of yourself you trusted other people with, especially not when it came to your family, but your soul was burning with the desire to shed your armor.

“My brother’s name is Lucy,” you said suddenly, unprompted. “Well, his nickname.”

Lucy, at the very least knowing where the boundary was, decided not to press her luck. Despite seeming to be such a small piece of information, she could see the effort you put into sharing it nonetheless.

“Lucy?” Cooper echoed, having snuck up at some point to follow you.

You weren’t bothered that he’d overheard though. On more than one occasion you’d wanted to share pieces of yourself with Cooper.

“Lucifer,” you provided his full name, a twinge at the top of your shoulder blade, where your battered, broken wings began, ran down the length of your spine.

“Like the devil?” Lucy inquired cautiously.

A laugh crawled up your throat, and before you could stop it, you were giggling heartily, nodding your head.

“That’d be the one, yeah.”

She didn’t understand the truth you were telling her. You knew she wouldn’t, couldn’t possibly fathom the implications that ensued with that knowledge either.

Lucy casted one quick glance at Cooper, then cleared her throat and claimed she was going off the path to use the bathroom quick.

There was a tense silence that permeated the hot, desert air when she left, a new development that neither occupant knew how to navigate. Finally, Coop broke it.

“Ya know, you’ve never actually talked about… all o’ that.”

Your family.

He didn’t say it in so many words, but you could fill in the unspoken topic without much thought. You hummed, acknowledging your own secrecy regarding your past.

“Sometimes it’s better to leave the past buried.”

Coop breathed out a laugh.

“Don’t I know it.”

The smile you gave him was genuine, albeit small. Hesitantly, you reached out towards his gloved hand, grasping it lightly between your own. You didn’t have anything you really wanted to say, didn’t need to, actually. He could see it in your eyes, the gratefulness shining in your bright gaze, clearing some of the guilt that stayed stagnant on your person.

“The vaultie reminded me today,” he drawled, his voice even lower than normal. If you didn’t know him any better, you’d say he was almost flustered.

“People die.”

You waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, you raised a brow in question.

Cooper felt his heart jump to his throat. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bare himself- not now, maybe not ever. The world felt like it started spinning around him, and he pulled his hand from yours, cradling it to your chest.

“Just hope you’re not one of ‘em, darlin’,” he finished lamely.

You swallowed, deciding it was better not to push. Not today.

“You too, Coop.”

Words simmered between you. Dangerous, terrifying words. But Cooper couldn’t get them out, couldn’t get past the panic that played his heart like a damn fiddle.

And you, well you couldn’t let go of your guilt, couldn’t see past the pain of watching the world go to shit and not doing anything to stop it.

So those words stayed unspoke, utterances of the heart, but not of the lips. Maybe, if they were never voiced, they could freeze, and eventually crumble, like time did to all.

Lucy returned then, and the unlikely group continued on as before, leaving the forgotten words to decay away in the dry sand of the Wasteland

[the-great-fusilli]

I’m pro-delulu and I too believe in shipping characters that don’t canonically end up together BUT… I will never get behind Zutara (my mind changes often, but rn no🙅🏽‍♀️.)

Maybe it’s because I don’t take colonization and eithnic clensing lightly, or maybe it’s because I disagree with the “Katara is like Aang’s mom” statement. Either way they should not be end game. People often bring up how Zuko helped Katara release a lot of pent up emotions concerning her mother’s death and who killed her, but the Fire Nation (his people) were responsible for that death. And up until that specific arc Zuko was upholding the beliefs of those people.

“Zuko doesn’t need Katara to be his mother like Aang and the rest of the group do, they’re on equal footing.” Except Aang and the rest of the group don’t need Katara to be mother either. People just view Katara as a maternal character because of her personality and that’s the only role they’ll acknowledge her having in the group. Katara’s mother showed her a love so deep and protective that she died so Katara could live, so of course the trauma of losing her mother in that way at such a young age would cause her to take on the role her mother had. Whether it be because of obligation, or simply because that’s all she knew.

Aang and the other characters have also experienced a lot of trauma, but Aang was raised by monks. He doesn’t need a mother figure because he’s never experienced gender roles in the way the other characters have. His idea of a family is being shaped as the show progresses because aside form Monk Gyatso, they are the first family he’s had. He’s curious, fun-loving and light hearted because that’s how Monk Gyatso raised him to be, not because he’s an irresponsible little 12 yr old without a mother. His people were eradicated, so Katara doesn’t raise Aang she guides him through grieving the loss of his people. A loss she knows all too well.

Toph is blind and her family is overly protective. They don’t give her the space or freedom to be her own person or earth bend. Another experience that Katara knows all too well. Her grandmother never let her leave the southern water tribe or water bend so she gives Toph the same thing she gives Aang. Sokka is Katara’s brother… he also experienced the loss of their mother except Sokka is a boy. He’s been made painfully aware of gender roles because he watched their father leave to fight in the war instead of staying to help him and Katara. He decided he needed to be more like his Father instead of his mother. So all the responsibility of taking care of the both of them fell on Katara.

Katara and Zuko are not on “equal footing” before he leaves the Fire Nation. He’s a prince from the Nation that has been inflicting pain on her family, her people and the world for 100 years…(he literally calls my good sis “water tribe peasant” meaning at some point he believed she was inferior because he had royal blood.) He has changed now of course and I love both Zuko and Katara, but them being end game makes no sense to me.

Aang and Katara to me are like 2 halves that make a whole. I’ve believed they were soulmates since the moment she broke him out of that Iceberg. She felt a higher calling, not only to be a water bender fighting for her people, but also to be apart of something bigger than herself and have the freedom to do so. It is not a coincidence that in the moment where she feels her biggest emotions and showcase her strongest bending at that time in her life, she broke THE Avatar out of an iceberg he had been in for 100 years. It was FATE. Katara helps Aang grieve, gives him a family, teaches him water bending and teaches him that the world may be counting on him, but the amount of death and pain he sees is not his fault. Aang helps Katara finally step into her full potential, he gives her the things she’s been longing for… freedom, fun, a chance to master water bending and put an end to the war. Some of Aang’s own words were “Why would i choose cosmic energy over Katara?” He had an opportunity to master the avatar state land directly in his lap, but instead he chose her.

IM TEAM KAANG TIL I DIE

Also I think personality wise Zuko and Katara are too much alike for my liking. They’re both sassy as hell, sarcastic, stubborn momma’s babies, who resent their fathers a lil and went through hell for a couple years because of their siblings (+ losing their moms.) In some ways they ARE opposites (especially their bending & colors,) and i agree they have character development arcs that fit together like puzzle pieces…BUT they are more alike than they are opposite. I don’t have a problem with people who just like to see them together but pls stop with the justifications bc no.

[juliewillruinu]

Garden of Forbidden Melodies | 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆 | Sukuna x oc

Tw: This fanfiction will contain mature content such as smut, violence, blood, and death. There will be sensitive topics that might make many uncomfortable, so there will always be warnings at the beginning of each chapter. You have been warned. Enjoy ♡ -J.B

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ, ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ, ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ...

Prologue

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗻 dipped low on the horizon, casting warm hues across the newly tended garden—a fantastical bloom of color and fragrance, just for her. I leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree. My crimson eyes fixed on Hanabana as she sat on a stone bench, and her back turned to me. The soft wail of the biwa began to weave through the evening air, notes spiraling like silk threads.

She’s beautiful, even in her solitude. The way her fingers dance across the strings as if coaxing the world into a calmer state. How foolish the villagers were to think they could cast her aside. They claimed to fear her power, but their ignorance is truly terrifying.

Her melodies wrap around me like tendrils of smoke, pulling me away from the chaos that constantly churns within me. I should despise humanity—they are nothing but insects in my eyes, crawling about in their filth. But her... she’s different. She sings for me in ways I thought only the dead could hear. She doesn't fear my darkness; she invites it. Perhaps that’s why I linger here, darkly entranced by her beauty. It’s maddening.

Something stirs, deep in the void I thought was hollow. Is this what they call love? An attachment? It feels more primitive than that—a primal need. I want to possess her. Oh yes, it’s more than a desire; it’s a relentless hunger. To make her solely mine, to claim her spirit like I’ve claimed so much else in this cursed world.

What a paradox—this girl, this sorceress, protecting her village from the evils I embody, yet standing unyielding before my wickedness. An undeniable draw, though the depths of my heart have long since turned to stone. How amusing! I, the King of Curses, find solace in the presence of one who yearns for innocence. Such a fragile thing, yet she bears the strength to repel the invaders of the spirit world, like me.

Let her gaze linger longer at these flowers. They bend and twist in ways even I can not control their vibrant colors intended for her eyes alone. All these blossoms, nurtured by my hand, are but a mere fraction of what I would do for her. She deserves the world, but it's not something she seeks, so for now, these petals in the garden are all she allows me to give.

Soon, I’ll capture her gaze. She will see the man behind the monster, the protector hidden within the curse. I shall embrace her, entwine our spirits as one. What a juxtaposition we present—a songbird and a demon. The villagers will never understand, nor will they accept us.

Hanabana, don’t look back just yet. Let the evening dance through your hair a little longer. Let me bask in this moment before the cruel world reminds us both that such beauty can’t last.

But then the sweet contentment broke like glass underfoot, shattered by fate’s cruel hand.

The beauty turned to me. Once her deep brown eyes met mine, a warm smile stretched across her face. Yes, smile more. I won’t let anyone enjoy that look on your face. It belongs to me and me alone. Smile only for me, my songbird.

"Welcome home, Sukuna."

Now I understand—home is where you are. Come, let me embrace you. Let me hold what belongs to me. Melt in my grasp. Squirm, cry, laugh, and moan underneath me. I don’t care what you choose to do or if you choose to do them all. Just do it all for me. For we shall never part.

Not ever.

The beauty placed her instrument down before standing up and began to walk towards me. She was careful for her sandal to not crush the flowers and to remain on the stone path. Her figure is alluring. It's something only I've ever seen. As it should be. She seduces me with the way she pushes her hair to the side, revealing part of her neck. Her eyes are gleaming with excitement, and her pace quickens the closer she gets to me. Once she's in front of me, my hand wraps around her waist and arms wrap around my neck. Her eyes fluttered close, and her face came close to mine. Her lips must have been cold without mine.

Ah, I shall devour this woman slowly.

Special thanks to @sweetlandspos for allowing me to use her art for the cover of my book. You can also read it on Wattpad. My account is apocalypsesupremacy.

[timetravellibrarian]

Zoro x reader

Zoro x femreader

Summary: A man seeks to follow his dreams, following only the path his swords carve for him and wherever his crew goes. Little does he know that the missing piece in his life, his soulmate whom he doesn't admit that he tries to seek would end up in a love-hate relationship.

_________________________________________

Chapter Three

You found yourself on the very same large rock at your islands beach, eyes looking over to the ocean. The mark in your wrist reminding you of the small ache in your heart. Your soulmate.

No night ever falls without your mind going to whoever out there in the world was meant for you. Someone who would choose you first. Someone who would love you unconditionally without the expected duty. You honestly didn't know how to explain what you felt.

"Penny for your thoughts, my lady?"A whisper broke you out if your thoughts, a small squeak barely escaping your lips before you felt yourself slipping from the rocks surface. The drop would be devastating had it not been for firm arms immediately wrapping themselves around your waist and pulling you flush against the one who intruded in your quiet time.

"My lady! I'm so sorry, he– I didn't see him pass throug–"

"It's alright Lyra. I'm alright." Your eyes went to your friend who seemed to have been thrown into panic, her rushed steps trying to balance in the rocks to try and reach you. Alas you were in the arms of the man you were promised to marry, Prince Cassius.

He let out a small huff of amusement as he picked you up bridal style and headed down the variously shaped rocks with waves crashing harshly against them. Soon Lyra, Cassius and you had landed safely on the dock, the prince placing you down.

"I apologize, princess. I wished to speak with you but I had been informed that you weren't in the castle."

You nodded, a look of curiosity at what he wanted to talk to you about.

"...then I asked your sister and brothers where you ought to be at this hour and they didn't know..."

"How did you find me here?"

He smiled," I have my ways, princess. Or should I refer to you as my beloved seeing as we are to wed in a month's time."

'A MONTH!'

"Pardon, a month you say?" The mark on your wrist felt like a rocks piling up on top of your body, held up by little hope.

"Exactly why I wanted to talk to you. My father spoke with the king and have agreed on a date at around this time next month.

You stayed silent. Looking up at his chestnut brown eyes,the unnoticeable freckles on his face. His sharp nose. 'My children might inherit that'

"I know this is a large step for you." His hands went to yours, fingers trailing over R.Z that's was etched onto your wrist by fate. His lip quirked down in unnoticeable displeasure at its sight. " I will do my best to love you as much as any soulmate would. Maybe even more."

His eyes locked onto yours longer than you were used to, his words were like a promise. One that wouldn't be broken. But promises are merely words used to appease fools. Maybe right now you would allow yourself to believe. What could possibly go wrong?

_______________________________________

"Don't you wonder who your soulmate is?" Sanji said as he placed a cigarette to his lips. His eyes went to the uncovered mark on Zoro's wrist. The whole time he had gotten to know the swordsman he never heard much word about his soulmate. The matter shut down with a glare or met with silence.

Everyone present on deck almost held their breath. Robin , Nami, even Luffy.

"I have thought about them." Zoro answered, taking a sip of the bottle in his hands,"I've never stopped." And true to his word he never has.

The sun never rose without his mind wandering to the mark on his wrist. The one connection he had with the person who was truly meant for him.

All his life Zoro had been fighting. He fought in Shimotsuki Village, growing up. He fought in Shells Town before and after he met Luffy. Now he's in Skypeia and he's fought since since Enel had discovered them. Almost everyday he fights to fulfill his dream. To become the world's greatest swordsman.

But do dreams keep a man warm? Do dreams chase after him as much as he does?

He loves his crew, would die for them even. But what is this feeling of loneliness that lies deep within the pit of his stomach and cuts deeper that a sword against his skin.

He looked at the swirly haired cook, the bane of his existence.

"Then why don't you try to find them?!" Luffy yelled, his face staying in confusion. "They're somewhere out there aren't they?"

Nami slapped Luffy upside the head. "Don't be an idiot Luffy. The world's too big. He or she could be anywhy."

"Not to mention that anyone can have those initials." Robin added, paging through her book.

"And they could possibly be a marine, a rival pirate, a serial killer, an arsonist, a murderer and other very bad things." Chopper added as he came back from restocking the infirmary. He sat down beside Robin as she read.

"You guys really know how to cheer up a guy," Sanji said as he blew out a puff of smoke," Those are realistic expectations. But let's be positive for a second."

"Skip the positivity, I'd rather not sit around and wait to be swept off my feet. Life goes on. I'm sure wherever my soulmate is she's fine." Zoro took one last gulp of his drink. Washing down the sense of foreboding that plagued his senses

_________________________________________

She in fact wasn't gonna be fine

@mars-mizuko

@bi-narystars

@mythicallystupid

@urbisexualfriend

[mosaickiwi]

Fall Unto Me (epilogue hehe)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Demon!Ren and Angel!Angel my otp!!! I think saying I won't write anymore compels me to write more somehow................... sowwee I just keep lying :3c

cw// religious themes

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Moonlight gleamed on the gentle waves pushing back and forth to meet the shore. You sat at the water’s edge with your lover, legs curled under you to lean against his side, your fingers drawing shapes in the wet sand that only lived a few fleeting seconds, then washed away in the water's wake. 

The blue eyed demon kept an arm around you for warmth. You still felt cold, sometimes even during the day. It bothered him more than you. Ren silently watched you etch shapes, though they didn't pay as much attention as usual. He was lost in thought.

Almost a year had gone by since the dreaded night that wouldn't leave their mind in peace, when heaven had burned away all you’d ever known without a care for the loneliness you felt afterwards. A nightmare that was sure to stain decades of eternity with you. Centuries past his own damned fall from heaven's gate, they still found a way to punish him.

Your heart healed quickly with his doting and comfort, but the physical scars remained. Each morning was a glimpse of heaven and hell. He was always awake before you, but to ever leave your side would pain them like nothing else. So he waited. You'd open your eyes, smile at him as if he was the paradise you'd treasured dearly—how could you still choose to grace a monster like them with your sacred beauty? Your presence? Your love?—then crawl from the sheets to stretch and start your day. 

The two jagged streaks of seared flesh on your back greeted him like a cruelly blinding sunrise. He could only wonder where everything went wrong.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen so soon. Your fated fallen angel had already waited millennia to meet you again, and he was intent on waiting infinitely more until you were ready. Because they knew you’d eventually come to desire him, to yearn for their embrace above all others. But you’d fallen—both in love and divinity—faster than he dared to wish for. Nevermind a thousand years, you were taken with him in barely a day, even if it took you much longer to realize the gaze you set upon him in the setting sun was more than just curiosity. 

It must have been destiny’s twisted attempt at design. He didn’t expect you that day in heaven’s library, but they were meant to belong to you from the moment— 

“Ren,” you spoke as softly as the ocean’s gentle breeze. Still, they heard you loud and clear through the muddled sea of their mind. You were the only being who could ever pull him ashore. Or astray. 

“Yes, little angel?” he answered. The nickname burned in his heart to use now, but the way your eyes glittered with love like the moon and stars above when they said it… he yearned for that happiness to last as long as it could.

“Did I spell it right?” He cast his gaze to where you pointed. Just out of the crawling reach of lapping waves, you’d written something in the starlit sand.

They’d written your name thousands, maybe even millions of times over and over to keep him sane enough to find his only solace in you. Seeing it here, finally in your own handwriting was something else entirely. He’d commit it to memory.

“Exactly right,” Ren smiled down at your handiwork and leaned over to write the three letters of his name under yours. They were all he could remember of the real name heaven had stolen away. Though it’d been so long that he wasn’t even sure if they were correct.

You stared for a moment, then drummed your fingers on your thigh. “Your real one was certainly longer than this,” you muttered to yourself. 

Your companion absently nodded, those innocent words haunting him with another memory. He’d spilled his heart out months ago in a moment of weakness, one morning when the sight of your scars broke him. About the real first time you met, his own fall from grace, his sinful intentions to take you with him some day. Everything that he feared would make you hate him. It was a way to punish himself further. Heaven’s permanent reminder wasn’t enough—but you forgave everything with ease like the angel you truly were. 

I’d go through it all again if it meant you’d be mine, you told him. As if it was a simple choice. You were more upset to hear that you couldn’t call his true name. That worthless excuse of a god had made a mistake to let you go—one Ren would never even think to make.

The demon had developed an odd habit of brooding. You kissed his cheek to get his attention, one hand lacing through theirs. “Ren, there’s nothing to worry about. Why don’t we go swim? Or take a walk?”

He meant to answer, but a harsh shiver suddenly tore through your body. You felt cold again, even to him. A lance of pain from his own ill fated guilt, and he carefully stood, lifting you into his ink-stained arms. “Let’s go home.” You were clearly about to frown, and he had to correct himself. “Little angel, let’s go home.”

Not even the moon could outshine the immediate smile you brightened his world with.

[calliesmemes]

LOVE IN ITS MANY FORMS

SENTENCE STARTERS FROM VARIOUS SOURCES FOR PLATONIC DYNAMICS, ROMANTIC DYNAMICS, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.   ”

“   You are my fate. ”

“   I'm not whole without you. You are life itself to me ”

“   You mean so much to me that sometimes I don’t know how to handle it.   ”

“   Even before I was touched, I belonged to you.   ”

“   We are more than friends; we are family. ”

“   We’ll protect each other. ”

“   Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family. You’re my family. ”

“   I want so badly to protect you from the world because I know how bad it can be. ”

“   I promise I will find you in every universe.   ”

“   I’ve always wanted to live a fairytale, and you have written one for me. ”

“   When I fall in love, I fall to pieces.   ”

“   I love you. I’m not just here for the pretty parts — I’m here for you no matter what. ”

“   Something about you makes me feel alive. ”

“   You will never be unloved by me; you are too well tangled in my soul. ”

“   We’re in this together. ”

“   It’s you. It’s always been you. ”

“   I have loved you since we were children. ”

“   I don’t want to have the world’s attention. Yours is enough. ”

“   I broke my rules for you. ”

“   What I have with you, I don’t want with anyone else. ”

“   You have a place in my heart that no one else can claim. ”

“   I’ve been dreaming about you my entire life! ”

“   I’d choose you. Every single time. ”

“   You and me? It’s a forever kind of thing. ”

“   My soul will always find yours. ”

“   If only you knew just how completely and devoutly I worship you. ”

“   I love you with all the broken, blood-stained pieces of me. ”

“   I am your sword, your shield, and your lovesick protector. ”

“   For you, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do. ”

“   Your subconscious seeks me. ”

“   Sleep. I’ll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you. ”

“   I don’t think you understand the effect that you have on me. ”

“   You saved me in every way a person could be saved. ”

“   Come back. Come back to me. ”

“   You would not believe me if you knew how often you are in my heart and mind. ”

“   Everywhere I go leads me back to you. ”

“   You are so adorable when you’re angry. ”

“   No, I am not angry. I know your thoughts. Your heart is better than your head. ”

“   I condemn you. Yet my heart yearns for you. ”

“   Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same. ”

“   My heart is, and always will be, yours. ”

“   I’m obsessed. I’m addicted. I will gladly cross every single line if it means making you mine. ”

“   I am so proud of you. You’ve been so brave. ”

“   The love you have in you is the kind of love that will vigorously shake the world. It is also the kind love that heals all wounds and save souls. And I am tremendously in need of it. ”

“   If I know what love is, it is because of you. ”

“   I will look for you in every lifetime, until we finally stay. ”

“   You will find me when you return, even if you're a thousand years late. ”

“   When it was dark, you always carried the sun in your hand for me. ”

“   Having a soulmate is not always about love. You can find your soulmate in a friendship too. ”

“   I have loved you in every life, I think. ”

“   The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person’s soul until you find a crack - and then gently pour your love into that crack. ”

“   I still remember you as a little girl who overwaters plants because she doesn't know when to stop giving. ”

“   You are dear to me. I don't want to let you go, and I won't give you up. ”

“   I'll tell every one in the world that you are the only one that matters. ”

“   The world was made so that we could find each other in it. ”

“   Friends are the family you choose. ”

“   You and only you, can make the rest of my life peaceful. ”

“   I don't want soft or subtle. I want rough, wild, heartache, I want sins, I want you. ”

“   I think I wished for you all my life. ”

“   How could I ever hate you, when all I know is you? ”

“   It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ”

“   You did something for me I couldn’t do for myself. You loved me for who I am. ”

“   I long for you. I really, utterly long for every bit of you. ”

“   You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line that I have ever read. ”

“   You are beyond all the worlds that I have ever known. ”

“   I will forget my name before I forget you. ”

“   No human being has ever stood so close to my soul as where you stand. ”

“   I always have such need to merely talk to you. ”

“   I waited for you my entire life, and you are worth every minute. ”

“   Family means that no one gets left behind or forgotten. ”

“   We both know that he means the world to you. Why are you afraid to tell him that?   ”

“   You can become homesick for people, too. ”

“   The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in turn. ”

“   She’s my sister; she needs me. ”

“   Never sacrifice your family, your heart, or your dignity. ”

“   Whatever you do, you’re still my brother. ”

“   My identity rests solely and firmly on this: I am my mother’s daughter. ”

“   Family is supposed to be our safe place. ”

“   The warmest light is your body. ”

“   Forgive me for my love — for ruining you with my love. ”

“   "Family" isn't defined only by last names or by blood; it's defined by commitment and by love. ”

“   I beg of you — let us aside our differences, and see each other as our family. ”

“   You are my treasure, my pale gold, the heart of my heart. ”

“   It is too late to turn you out of my heart. Part of you lives here. ”

“   I don’t care; I love you anyhow. ”

“   I shall do one thing in this life — one thing certain — this is, love you, and long for you, and keep wanting you till I die. ”

“   I think I missed you all my life until you finally showed up. ”

“   Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in things we do for each other every day. ”

“   You bring me peace that I haven’t found anywhere else. ”

“   Remember, no matter how foolish your deeds, those who love you will love you still. ”

“   This morning I’m ambitious, proud, energetic and very madly in love with you. ”

“   You give me joy that few men know. ”

“   I suppose that I am too enamored by you anyway. Every time I see you I get more so if it is possible. ”

“   I just want to relax in your arms. ”

“   I never stopped looking for you. I never gave up hope that you were alive. ”

“   I wish I could be as strong as you. ”

“   It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. ”

“   The ones that love us never truly leave us. ”

“   The right people fight for you. ”

“   When we heal ourselves, we heal the next generation that follows. Pain is passed through the family line until someone is ready to feel it, heal it, and let it go. ”

“   Even if you fall or falter, I will be with you. ”

“   I’ll always want you more than anyone. You’ll always matter to me more than anyone. ”

“   Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. ”

“   Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are. ”

“   I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. ”

“   I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. ”

“   You didn’t break me. You helped fix me. ”

“   It’s nice when someone remembers the smallest of details about you. ”

“   Ever since I met you I want you by my side. ”

“   There's no better feeling than to be here with you. ”

“   When we work together, we are unstoppable. ”

“   Whatever I need, I have when I'm with you. ”

“   I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. ”

[arataka-reigen]

Winter Anime Review by Yours Truly 🍄🌻

This season I said I would not watch anything besides dunmeshi. As we can all see... that was a fucking lie.

In total I've started 10 anime (can everyone praise me and be proud of me for being a bit more tame than I was in the fall season? At least it wasn't 20 anime this time).

My reviews are something I make just for fun, and they 100% reflect my own personal tastes. I might give a highscore to shows other people would call absolute trash, and that's okay! To each their own~~ That being said, I do try to make it very informative to aid you in choosing what you might want to check out by adding a summary and a few content warnings along with the actual review.

A little preview: this season has some great romance anime with couples that actually do make progress in their relationship, which is kind of rare for anime couples, always on their "will they wont they" thing, so if anything, i would recommend picking up one of the romances this time around. (And dunmeshi. Watch dunmeshi.)

***This review will include exclusively animes that debuted this winter, so no 2nd seasons or continuing shows from the fall season.

So, without further ado, let's get into it under the read more.

Dungeon Meshi

Summary: Seinen, Fantasy, Gourmet, Comedy

A party of adventurers gets stuck fighting a Dragon even though they are starving and in no shape to survive. In a last ditch effort to make it out alive, mage Falin sacrifices herself to save her brother Laios and their party. She sends them back to the surface but gets eaten by the Dragon. Now Laios and co are in a race against time to save Falin before she gets digested. The problem? They don't have any money for food. The solution? DUNGEON MESHI!!! AH, DUNGEON MESHI!! DUNGEON FOOD!! JUST EAT THE GODDAMN MONSTERS 😋

Rating: 10/10

Review: if you've been following me for 2 seconds or less you already know dunmeshi is one of my all time favorite mangas. And the anime absolutely delivers. The animation is great, the voice acting is great both subbed or dubbed (the english dub AND the portuguese dub are worth it). The comedic bits hit so hard, and we're just at the start but you can already see bits and pieces of a larger and more dramatic story unfolding.

World building is insane. Character design is insane (everyone say thank you Ryoko Kui our goddess).

Not only is the story incredibly well written with no plot holes, the characters are also well fleshed out and three dimensional.

I could sing praises for it for hours, but then it would leave no space for the other shows on this list so I'll stop now.

But if you only have time to watch one anime this season, this one is it.

Content Warning: blood, death, necromancy crimes 🧟‍♀️

7th Timeloop: the Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy

Summary: Reincarnation, Fantasy, Romance

Rishe is not new to the reincarnation business. This is her 7th time around. After being accused of crimes she didn't commit and having her engagement to the crown prince broken off in her 1st life she went on to discover that life is full of possibilities and adventures. But, after 5 years, she died. Only to find herself back at the moment the crown prince broke off their engagement. With each life she explores new countries and new possibilities, but in every life, after 5 years, she is caught up in the war waged by emperor Arnold Hein, and is killed. In her 6th life she dies directly by Arnold's blade and in a turn of fate she runs into him in her 7th life, catching his attention, and maybe his heart? Can she prevent her death this time around and finally live a peaceful life?

Rating: 10/10

Review: ah, we all knew the otome reincarnation was coming. This shit is my life source. That being said, even if it wasn't, I would still probably really love 7th Time Loop. It's just that good.

Rishe is a great main character, in all her past lives she was on The Grind. From being a merchant, to a doctor, to a maid, to a royal guard. And now she tells herself she just wants to chill, but this girl simply cannot chill. She is playing mind games with Arnold, trying to figure out what he is planning and how to stop the war from breaking out.

Meanwhile, Arnold is head over heels in love and probably so so full of trauma we still don't know yet. We must protect this dude. I'm very excited to find out more and more about him and what exactly led him to start a war against the world.

The animation is gorgeous, I love the way the eyes are drawn like constellations.

The romance is great and developing at a very nice pace, Arnold is very respectful of Rishe's boundaries for their marriage and overall just a really great guy.

CW: blood, death, kidnapping.

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

Summary: Boys Love, Adult Cast, Workplace, Supernatural, Comedy

Office worker Kiyoshi Adachi has gone 30 years of life without ever having his cherry popped. Due to this profound accomplishment, he gains the ability to read minds through physical contact. However, this new skill has only made his life harder and he now hates crowded spaces.

On the way to work, Adachi runs into his colleague Kurosawa, curious about what an outgoing guy like him thinks about, Adachi touches him and finds out that Kurosawa has a crush on someone from their office, looking further he realizes Kurosawa is actually crushing on him.

Rating: 10/10

Review: first of all, if you say "romance + adult cast" you already have my full attention. Add mind reading to the mix to make sure that the main character doesn't have miscommunication problems and i'm at the fucking table eating it up.

This show is incredibly funny, Kurosawa's thoughts about Adachi are always so sweet and/or horny and obsessed, but he is still just a super great guy with great morals and he would never do anything Adachi doesn't want (much to Adachi's surprise because he thought the dude was going to jump him anytime with how badly in love his thoughts are).

Adachi is straight until proven otherwise, and Kurosawa proves otherwise really fast. The pace of their romance is really great, we dont get ten thousand episodes of "will they wont they" and I really appreciate that.

CW: none that i can think of atm. Let me know if you have anything i could add here.

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord

Summary: Otome Isekai, Fantasy, School

Yumiella Dolkness is a girl with dark hair and dark magic (characteristics associated with the Demon Lord) and for that she is feared.

When Yumiella was 5 years old she regained memories of her past life in modern Japan, and the game she used to play: Light Magic and the Hero. In it, Yumiella was the secret boss you had to defeat after the Demon Lord. Determined to avoid this fate she applies gamer logic to her life and begins adventuring in dungeons to max her power levels.

Now, 15 year old Yumiella is going to school, where she will meet the true hero of the game. She wants to avoid calling attention and just go through her school years without trouble. But when their power levels are measured in the first day of school, she is measured as a level 99 dark magic user and now even the king and queen have their eyes on her.

Rating: 10/10

Review: you gotta trust me on this one and get through the first ten minutes, I promise it gets so much better after Yumiella is really introduced. They just had to spend a few minutes doing a gag introduction, where you follow the game's hero before you find our beloved villainess. And it was very cool how the opening resemble a dating sim game opening.

Yumiella is great, one of my favorite female leads this season, and that is including frieren and maomao from the fall season animes that are still airing. She is not very aware of all the social cues and has trouble communicating and making friends, but we get to see her inner thoughts and they're always hilarious.

My favorite gag is that dark magic can be used for healing, but the healing process looks fucking grotesque so people would rather not be healed by Yumiella. For some reason that always gets me.

I really fucking hate the 4 hero characters, they're super annoying, but in a "i love to hate them" way, and I love seeing yumiella wipe the floor with their asses without even trying because she is just that overpowered. Most of the anime is just her trying to use just a tiny bit of her power because if she uses her full power people would just straight up die with a simple punch.

CW: blood

Yubisaki to Renren

Summary: ✨️Shoujo✨️, Adult Cast, Romance

(Summary stolen from myanimelist, sorry) Yuki Itose is a hearing-impaired university student whose world has been shrouded with silence since birth. She has lived in the same place her whole life, and rarely interacts with others save for her best friend, Rin Fujishiro. During her commute one day, she meets the silver-haired and multilingual Itsuomi Nagi, a mutual friend of Rin. Unlike most, Itsuomi is unwavering when he learns of Yuki's impairment; this, along with his experiences abroad, fascinates and touches her. After they part, her fondness of him starts to grow. A new world begins to open for both Yuki and Itsuomi as they learn about each other's different lives.

Rating: 10/10

Review: and here we have The Shoujo Of The Season. And it occupies that spot marvelously.

Yuki and Itsuomi are another one of the incredible couples of the winter season. Relationship developing at a very nice pace that isn't too fast and not too slow (like shoujo can be sometimes). Yuki is very inspired by Itsuomi, she wants to see the world and experience new things now that she got a glimpse into his life and realized how big the world is.

I specially love how cool, calm and collected Itsuomi always acts, but how his cousin, Kyouya, lets us know that Itsuomi is really interested in Yuki and just shows it in different ways, like the way his voice gets very affectionate towards her.

The animation!!!!! Wow!!!! So soft!!! So warm!!!! I love it!!!! I'm sure you'll love it too!!!

Sound design is also very good, it's specially interesting during scenes where we cant hear anything because we are on Yuki's point of view. I wish it happened even more often.

I've seen people compare this show with Koe no Katachi but they're very different shows, specially since we get to see most of this one through Yuki's point of view, while Koe no Katachi was not from the POV of the hearing-impaired character and dealt a lot more with issues like bullying and suicide. Yubisaki to Renren is a lot more light-hearted, soft, sweet and overall just a feel good anime.

I am always going to recommend shoujo. Specially when they're as good as this one is. So definitely check this one out.

CW: none that I can think of. Let me know if there is anything I should put here.

The Foolish Angel Dances with the Devil

Summary: Seinen, Romance, Comedy, Supernatural

The angels and the devils are waging a war. Things are not looking so good on the devils' side, so they send Akutsu Masatora on a journey to the human world, to find someone that can aid the demons on their fight.

Akutsu is assigned a seat next to Lily Amane, the cutest girl in class. But when he tries to recruit her to the devil's side he realizes she is not a normal human. Now he must deal with the fact that he is tied to his mortal enemy, an angel, and with the fact that he might be falling in love.

Rating: 10/10

Review: More like,, the foolish devil gets played by the angel.

Akutsu and Lily get into stupid mind games trying to make the other fall in love, all while realizing that "hey, angels/devils arent so bad after all" as they spend more and more time together.

It reminds me just a bit of Kaguya-sama how the main couple wants the other to cave first.

This show is simply hilarious, I was laughing out loud at so many stupid scenes. Some gags do get old a bit fast, but overall it's still going strong and makes up for where it falls short with how badly in love these two already are just a few episodes in.

I'm not sure we'll get a proper confession this season, but it doesnt look like these two will be stuck forever in the "will they wont they" stage like the couple from kaguya-sama.

CW: there is a scene by the end of episode one that is completely played as a joke that has one of the lead characters putting a collar on the other lead and the imagery was a bit disturbing, definitely leaning on non con bdsm themes, it isnt terrible, just felt a bit distasteful to me, but nothing big, i dont think it should deter you from watching this, but watch out for that.

Solo Leveling

Summary: Action, Fantasy

(Synopsis stolen from myanimelist again) Ten years ago, "the Gate" appeared and connected the real world with the realm of magic and monsters. To combat these vile beasts, ordinary people received superhuman powers and became known as "Hunters." Twenty-year-old Sung Jin-Woo is one such Hunter, but he is known as the "World's Weakest," owing to his pathetic power compared to even a measly E-Rank. Still, he hunts monsters tirelessly in low-rank Gates to pay for his mother's medical bills.

However, this miserable lifestyle changes when Jin-Woo—believing himself to be the only one left to die in a mission gone terribly wrong—awakens in a hospital three days later to find a mysterious screen floating in front of him. This "Quest Log" demands that Jin-Woo completes an unrealistic and intense training program, or face an appropriate penalty. Initially reluctant to comply because of the quest's rigor, Jin-Woo soon finds that it may just transform him into one of the world's most fearsome Hunters.

Rating: 8/10

Review: everyday that passes I find myself liking battle shounen less and less. This one is not bad, it is actually quite interesting, it's just not the type of stuff i'm into anymore, I guess.

That being said, if you're in the mood for it, this one if very interesting. Jin woo's life is now completely ruled by this game that allows him to level up, and he is getting a bit fucked in the head by it.

Animation is great, I love when his eyes get all shiny because you know he's gone Beast Mode.

Not a lot of characters introduced so far, but it's still cool to see Jin Woo leveling up on his own. I mean... a show named solo leveling has got to make sure that the solo aspect isnt boring lol.

For some reason tho I still gave it an 8, which is high, so... it's pretty good.

Jin woo is just a bit... generic i guess. Nothing you havent seen before from an isekai male lead.

Also... i miss his haircut from the earlier episodes, his current haircut makes him look even more generic.

CW: blood and gore, body horror, torture, death games. Big and scary god statue that smiles in a fucked up way and kills kills kills.

Drop Box

Animes I either already dropped for a specific reason or will probably drop in the future simply because I wont have time to watch everything I started this season, so among the 10 I started, these are the ones i'm least likely to finish:

Majo do Yajuu

Summary: Seinen, Action, Fantasy

Guideau and Ashaf are an ominous pair, working for a mysterious organization that deals with magic crimes. Guideau is a feral and unhinged girl/genderless beast with a curse she wants to break and Ashaf is her soft spoken and calm companion. They go from town to town looking for witches to defeat and trying to find the witch who cursed Guideau and get their revenge.

Rating: 7/10

Review: I do like this one, I just think that if it comes to it and I dont have time, I wont miss it too much if I never finish it.

The blood and gore are heavy, and that might be the reason why i'm fine dropping it, i'm not that big of a fan of gore.

Other than that tho, I find the two main characters extremely interesting and i want to learn more about them, specially Guideau and her curse and that crazy beast mode she goes on when she manages to put a pause on her curse sometimes.

CW: blood and gore, body horror

Gekai Elise

Summary: Reincarnation/Otome Isekai, Fantasy, Medical, Romance

(Again, stolen from myanimelist) In her first life, the renowned and genius surgeon Dr. Aoi Takamoto was Elise de Clorance, a villainess of noble descent. Elise's selfishness, insolence, and obsessive love for her fiancé—Prince Linden de Romanoff—led to the deaths of her family members and, eventually, herself. Only after being reborn did Elise realize the error of her ways and decide that, instead of ruining lives, she would devote herself to saving them. But a tragic airplane crash robs her of her dreams too soon.

By a miracle, Elise wakes up in her original body before her official engagement to Linden. Recognizing the chance to cherish her loving family and free Linden from an unwanted marriage, Elise wishes to use her advanced medical knowledge to continue down the path of saving lives. In a deal with the emperor, Elise is given only six months to prove that her true place is not on the throne, but rather with the wounded and ailing who desperately need her help.

Rating: 6/10

Review: I'd like to say I dropped this show for personal reasons, not because it is a bad show.

It is definitely not the best otome isekai of the season (7th time loop and Villainess 99 win by a mile), but it is quite good and has an interesting premise. The main couple didn't seem too promising or interesting to me tbh.

The thing that interested me the most was the fact that Elise's original life was as a noblewoman, her second life was as a doctor and then he got a chance to relive her first life and change the mistakes she made.

Unfortunately, I am a med student, and I simply can't watch medical related stuff without nitpicking it to hell and back. Mostly, I try to distance myself from medicine related shows because my life already revolves around it too much, u know. I just need a break from All That when I'm watching my silly little shows, so... i had to drop this one.

Also, the main character was kind of annoying, but that might just be me.

Anyway, check this out if you think it sounds interesting. I might not be the best judge of this one.

CW: plane crash, death, medical procedures, surgery

Gushing Over Magical Girls

Oh boy...

I'm putting the CW before anything else because this one is problematic and I don't want anyone acting like I didn't warn them beforehand.

CW: this is straight up softcore porn and the characters are all middle/highschool aged. The anime revolves around BDSM themes (so many and increasingly worse themes, from simple bondage to pain play, to age play and other stuff), and there is nothing more than that to it, all the character growth is about the characters becoming more and more uninhibited with their sexual preferences. Also extremely dubious consent for all of it.

This is just a hentai disguising as an ecchi. It's fully yuri tho. Small blessings lol.

Summary: Mahou Shoujo, Girls Love, Ecchi, Comedy

I'm tired already so this will be short. Utena is a girl obsessed with magical girls. One day she gets the chance to become a magical girl herself, however, she is fooled and actually becomes a villain. She is made to fight Tres Magia (magical girl group) and ends up realizing she quite enjoys inflicting pain against them.

Review: the animation is good, very clean, the boob physics is not all that bad (what. this is an honest review and the anime is an ecchi. i gotta talk abt the boob physics.)

It is indeed super funny and definitely unhinged.

Plot wise, it is pretty straightforward, girl likes magical girls -> girl finds out she likes to watch magical girls suffering and in pain and moaning (well, not only watch, she does a lot of touching too)

Do I recommend it? No. Am I having fun watching it? Yes, it is pretty funny if you're the type of person who can ignore A Lot of things.

I'll probably favor the other animes tho so this one is very likely to get dropped before the season is through.

Thank you for reading (if you managed to make it this far lol, although this list is definitely smaller than my fall anime list)

If there is any other anime you think I should check out this season leave it in the replies and I might take a look at it and update this review with it!

[pretty-purple-pages]

sinner not a saint - percy.j

synopsis: is percy jackson going to be okay?

content (genre and warnings): angst angst angst, suicidal and thoughts about dying, hurt/comfort, romantic!percabeth not implied.

word count: 0.6 k

Percy Jackson was not okay. And that was terrifying.

He sat under the shower, the water falling around him in a dome-like shape; never touching his skin. As if the water didn't want to cleanse him. Maybe he had so much blood on his hands that even the water couldn't clean it.

Get up. He tried to will himself. Get up, everyone is waiting for you. He wish they didn't. He wished they saw what kind of monster he was; a sinner and not the saint everyone thought he was.

On some days, Percy wished Annabeth didn't fall into Tartarus with him. Maybe if he was alone in that pit, he'd wouldn't be alive right now. Maybe everyone would be happier.

His mom wouldn't have to worry herself over whether he was alive every few days. His sister won't have to live with a murderer of a brother. Annabeth won't have to stay with a person who could lose control at any moment now. Grover won't have to call a freak his best friend.

Most they'd do is cry. Mourn. Few days, Few years at most. Then they'd move on. Camp half-blood would get another hero, Annabeth would get another partner, Grover would get another best friend. Sally would still have one child.

"Seaweed brain? you in there?" He heard Annabeth's voice from outside the door, slightly muffled. He didn't want her to see him right now. So broken. No, he was supposed to be the strong one.

"Y-yeah. In here!"

"You okay? Can I come in?" Annabeth saw right through him. Dammit, why did she know him so well?

Taking the silence as an answer, Annabeth slowly twisted the door knob, muttering a small 'coming in', peeking into the bathroom.

What she saw, broke her heart into shards, every one of them poking her uncomfortably. The shower glass was fogged and her Percy was on the floor, knees to his chest, staring at gods know where.

His eyes were a unsettling shade of green.

Not his usual sea-green; the shade that was more comforting to her than any home she had. No, this was a horrifying shade. Blank, dark and void of his usual cheerfulness.

"It won't touch me," he looked up to the shower-head "The water won't touch me." his voice was hoarse, like he had screamed too much, cried too much. "Do I have so much blood on my hands that I don't deserve to be cleaned?"

Annabeth wanted to sob. Hold him and sob. Tell him that no, it wasn't his fault. Nothing was his fault. It was the gods and their stupid plans. It was the gods, always.

Instead she turned off the shower, helping him stand up and brought him to sit on his bed. She soaked a towel in some water, carefully wiping the blood off his face.

This time the water touched him. Cleaned him.

"I'm sorry, Annie" he mumbled quietly; words she never wanted to hear again.

"If you say 'sorry' one more time, I'm going to eat all of Sally's cookies" she chuckled, teasing him, even though tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"It's not your fault, seaweed brain. Never. It will never be your fault."

"It is though. I'm a murderer, a monster, a freak. I scared you in Tartarus. I've killed more people than my age. I don't deserve what I have"

"You didn't choose to kill people, did you? The gods, the fates, they made you do it. I know that you'd never choose to hurt people if your had a choice. But you didn't Percy. And its not your fault. And in Tartarus, even though I was scared, I know it was necessary. I know you did it to save us. And I know because you promised me, you won't do it again. You're not a murderer, a monster, a freak; you're a kid, Percy. A kid who's gone through too much shit."

Warm tears stained both of their faces, as they sobbed together, Percy on the bed, Annabeth kneeling on the floor. Her arms' were wrapped around his torso and his, around her neck.

Maybe not right now, but Percy Jackson was going to be okay.

©reyna-obsessed | Not to be reposted, translated or copied on any platform

tags: @moondust-on-the-hijabi @thx-sunsxts-addrxss @rxsewqter

@queenie-blackthorn @txna-blxckthorn @lxstletter

@hijabi-desi-bookworm @itadori-yujiii

[literary-motif]

Yo are so good at writing wowow!

Also I’m sorry to other again but suggestion!

May I ask that you write something where Love is doubting Xanthus’ love for them? He’s trying his best but they don’t believe him?

<33

Whatever Souls Are Made Of

Xanthus Claiborne x Reader

“Xanthus, do you love me?” you asked suddenly, needing to find answers to the uncertainty swirling in your mind. 

He chuckled, missing the heavy seriousness of your question. “I call you ‘my love’ for a reason, don’t I?”

He felt you tense, the peaceful moment spent cuddling on Dontis’ couch — a respite as you basked in the eye of the storm before everything would come to a head a few days from now — shattered as you broke the illusion. 

You sat up, disentangling yourself from his arms. “Yes, but do you love me?” you asked, looking at him with a mixture of weariness and fear. 

There was uncertainty in your gaze, he understood, along with longing and heartbreaking doubt.

“What is this line of question, my love?”

You averted your gaze, knowing it did nothing to hide the turmoil in your chest. You did not know what to believe. “I mean, this is predestined, isn’t it? How— how can you be sure that what you’re feeling is love? How— what if we weren’t bonded? Would you love me the same?”

Your whirlwind of emotions seeped into the bond. Xanthus had felt the creeping bleakness, the crawling uncertainty, approaching like a thunderstorm. He had felt the static in the air around him — thick with unbroken tension. 

This should not have come as a surprise. He should have known better that the human mind always longed to understand. He should have known that the all-encompassing feeling of absolute devotion — the love he had for you, and you in turn for him — was not a gift either of you could accept without question. He had tried to distract himself from the nagging voice in his head sowing doubts, but his research into the bond had been cut short due to obvious present circumstances. 

Fated love or not, he did not want to lose you — could not dare to, if he wanted to keep his sanity. The inquiry about the nature of his feelings needed to wait until the threat on your lives was terminated. 

“Would you?” you pressed, looking at him with pleading eyes. 

He sighed. What was he supposed to say?

“No.”

Your expression dropped. He thought he could pinpoint the very instance in which your heart cracked. 

“Wait, let me finish. I could not love you the same way. The love we have — this feeling shared between us — is something much deeper than common, maddening romantic love. It feels like our very souls are entwined — if something like souls actually exist. It feels like you are a part of me in the rawest sense, as if our connection transgresses the laws of space and time. I cannot breathe without you, and I feel you. When I close my eyes, I can sense you. I see all of you. A feeling so complete is more than love.”

You nodded, a twinge of hurt still nestled in your heart. “I know the feeling,” you said, taking in Xanthus’ soothing smile. 

His hand reached out to brush through your hair. You leaned away, making him freeze.

“But do you love me?”

Xanthus dropped his hand. He looked deep in thought, like one of the countless philosophers he no doubt met, pondering the virtue of morality and the meaning of life. He opened his mouth to reply, hesitating. “I don’t know.”

At least he was honest. 

“Thank you,” you said. “I— I know that we didn’t choose this. We didn’t fall in love, it was just there suddenly. How real can it all be if it is all evoked by some blood magic?”

“It’s not ‘blood magic.’”

“But still! The sentiment remains, and I— I feel the same way about you. I have this urge to be near you at all times. I am scared when you’re not there. I can’t think straight when there is a surge of emotion in me that is not my own. It feels like a part of you is also a part of me — or maybe we’re two parts of a whole — but what autonomy does this give us? Do you think we could fall out of love?”

“We’re not in love. How could we fall out of it?”

His answer made you pause. He was right, on a technicality. It was the sort of detail that turned the argument, and you could not even scoff because he was right, and the philosophical streak in your discussion had made it transgress from a mere exchange of feelings and love-assurances — or lack thereof — to a much broader, more fundamental one. 

“True,” you conceded, leaning against the couch. Xanthus raised his arm in silent invitation for you to cuddle against his side. You accepted, leaning your head against his shoulder and feeling the immediate relief rushing through you at his warm embrace. “My argument for autonomy still stands. How can we trust this feeling between us? Not this love, because it is not it—”

“It’s more.”

“No, it’s different.”

He chuckled, and you felt the sound of it deep in his chest. “How very romantic of you to think of love as the ultimate good. The feeling between us surpasses love. It is more than every other emotion put together and amplified by a thousand — it is different. It is different  because it is more.”

“You mean it is more than an emotion?”

“Yes, I suppose. I think of it as an eternal tie, binding us together like the strings of fate.”

“You don’t believe this thing — the bond — between us can subside? You don’t think, with time, the intensity will diminish?”

“No, I don’t believe it will.”

“Do you think our meeting was fate?”

He paused, giving you a sly smile. The socratic method you applied to the discussion — probing him with questions and analyzing his answers — made him feel as if he was back in the drawing room of Schopenhauer, listening to his long-winded speeches while glancing at the skyline of Frankfurt. 

“Are we branching into Metaphysics, love? It’s going to be a long night,” he said, squeezing you tighter. “No matter what I believe, I know how I feel about you. Where it comes from and why these feelings curse through me is secondary. I love you, for lack of a better term — but when I tell you, know I mean that the same overwhelming feelings you have are reciprocated until the end of time.”

[spadesolace]

drag me down: little white lies

synopsis: hanni was losing it, her thoughts being a mess and being occupied by one person only, park yn.

warning/s: pining for the other, confrontation

words: 3.3k

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Hanni was out of it.

It all started with the way her parents are so chill and immediately took a liking towards YN was the questionable part but its the vague answers that YN gave made it worse. Hanni could only find out about her parents’ field of work, compared to her own parents, they are much more capable than she expected.

Her parents knew of her competition and rivalry with YN so it was no surprise that she was interrogated, asking about her future and what is there she wishes to do. Keeping note of every single thing YN mentions, loving the way she speaks so gently as it gives comfort, the complete opposite of when they’re in class.

YN describes how she sees her future, clearly she would be working with her parents, probably a business major and from there she can go to law school if she chooses to. How she describes her family is vague, avoiding it completely, but the way she talks about her little sister with a shy smile perfectly sees that this is a side of YN that Hanni has never seen. Hanni’s parents vividly sees YN as a threat but also the perfect partner for their daughter because who wouldn’t swoon over the girl when based on their small interaction there is something else underlying waiting to be revealed. YN shows great respect to her parents, corrects them in a way that wouldn't be taken as offensive, and she discreetly helps Hanni.

“Speaking of university, are you planning on staying in Korea or going out of the country?” Hanni is expecting the worst, somewhere that avoids her. The possibility of YN having plans without her is inevitable, After what she pulled before, mind racing, palms sweaty, and her heart beating out of her chest. She was not expecting YN’s answer.

“I might stay but my parents’ wishes for me to go to an Ivy school.” YN has an option, a choice, Hanni on the other hand must work with what she is provided with. Ivy League schools are out of it, despite it being a great opportunity, she can’t risk it.

Fate plays unfairly sometimes.

The conversation went on as YN tried her best to let Hanni’s parents know that it would be alright if she washes the dishes. In the end, Hanni was the one doing it with YN helping her dry and store everything.

“Ivy League, huh?” It feels bittersweet, the possibility of either of the pair being a constant in their future.

“Yeah, my mom studied there.” Hanni could only nod, trying her best to slow down time in any way because she wants this to last a little longer.

“I guess once we graduate, that’s the end?”

“Don’t go all soft on me now, Pham. You’re supposed to hate my guts, remember.”

It is bittersweet, because as much as they both hate each other,  and throw spiteful words, or do better than the other, there is the sense of what if. As YN placed the kitchen towel back to its respective hook, Hanni could only look intently, even in her dishevelled hair, a bit of sweat dripping from the side of her face, and cheeks tinted from the heat. 

Hanni doesn’t know what came over her, holding YN’s chin and wiping her face with her handkerchief that she keeps all the time. The urge to hold Hanni by her waist was there, to pull her close and keep her within arm’s reach.

“Didn’t expect you to be the type to sweat easily, Park.”

“Pham… you’re too close.”

As Hanni was about to move away and blushing at the comment, YN was quick to move to hold the girl by the waist. A small space, if someone were to push either one, they would definitely kiss. On their own accord, Hanni and YN moved closer and closer, feeling each other’s breath. YN looked at Hanni’s eyes to her lips and back, only for a nod as a confirmation.

It won’t be easy to achieve one’s desire. YN’s phone started ringing which broke the pair’s trance on each other. Only to push the other away. Fumbling to get her phone, YN saw her mother’s contact name and immediately answered it. Hanni walked away, blushing even more than she expected. We almost kissed.

“My ride is already here.” 

“I-I’ll walk you out.” Hanni looked out of their house to see a car and a man in a suit waiting. YN looked at the girl, clearly frustrated and in dire need to scream profanities in her pillow at home.

Hanni and YN walked in silence, standing outside the front door. Hanni was avoiding YN’s gaze as YN tried her best to make the girl look at her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I- uhm- yeah.” The hesitancy in her voice, the way she wanted to confront YN with everything, ask her why she did it. Park YN is making her question everything that she knows.

“Pham, you can choose to forget it and act like it didn’t happen.” Hanni held onto YN’s wrist, stopping the taller girl from leaving right away. Only to be surprised by YN putting her hand on top of Hanni’s. She wanted her to do it, hold her by the waist and kiss her goodbye.

“Thank you for the dinner and your time.” She could only watch YN walk away, planning to deal with everything to come the following day. In which YN devised a plan to fix all misunderstandings for their project. A study session.

Clearly, there was something going on between the pair, people took notice, the hatred was still there but so was another emotion no one can pinpoint.

One thing for certain was that Hanni changed.

She took notice of every little thing and it makes her wonder why she despises the girl so much. Did YN forget everything she did to her during their dinner? What is there to hate when everything she does says a lot to only make one admire her?

The fact that YN is the reason for her distractions was the very same reason why she despises the girl. Whatever feelings these are, she can’t let it control her, let alone why does she need to observe the girl who sits next to her? She could probably write the project from the knowledge and facts she knows of YN. Yet she couldn’t write anything, only the little habits that YN does.

How could she do this when YN is probably almost done with her part in the project. Maybe it was all a scheme to make me fall behind.

It wasn’t that, because ever since she became distracted, YN was there to take care of her.

“Fact check that before we start the debate, Pham.” Hanni looked at her with so much confusion only to realize her claims were a bit based on her opinion. When did YN look pretty even when she just finished her soccer training? She’s all clean from the shower with her hair still drenched, her perfume is stronger than before.

“You’re off by a year.” Even in History class, Hanni was too distracted. YN is a bit closer than before, their hands almost touching. She wants to hold it, wondering how soft it feels.

“Hanni, it’s still not balanced.” The way YN’s slender arms wrap around Hanni’s waist as she points out her mistake in the chemical equation on the whiteboard at the student council office. It’s making Hanni’s brain short circuit as her heart beats out of her chest with how fast it is. She wants to turn around and smash their lips together but YN moves away before she could.

“N-no, it’s balanced.”

“Oxygen should be 19, not 17.” It was a problem already when they both agreed to study together after her short visit in the Pham Household. YN took notice of Hanni losing focus the past few days but this surely was concerning, one of which would cause damage for the pair.

“I think that’s enough for science, we can work on our english project.” Hanni placed the marker down as YN patted the spot in front of her, to which she obliged. So far, YN has written a lot and Hanni is left in the dark with the amount of information she is lacking in. One way to find more about her partner, ask her questions.

“Could you tell me about yourself?” YN placed her pen down, looking intently at Hanni.

“Ok… My full name is Park YN, born on __/ __, 2004. I have a little sister who is 10 years younger than me. Favorite drink is iced americano-”

“You’re really gonna die early from that.” YN laughed at Hanni’s comment and shook her head as she continued.

Hanni enjoys YN talking longer than she usually does, the reasons as to why she likes certain things and how much she adores her sister. The way she smiles whenever she mentions the things she enjoys, or how YN scrunches her nose as she describes how there are certain icks she cannot deal with. Hanni writes everything in her small notepad along with other things she’s written about YN.

She feels admiration towards the girl in front of her, and despises how she acts as if nothing happened the other day. Hanni vividly remembers the way YN held her, what her perfume smells, and how intently she looked at her. She hates that she doesn’t know what she feels anymore. Does she hate YN? Will they finally fix things and be civilized? 

She didn’t want this to end, their time together in private where no one knows what is happening or what they’re saying. It felt as if they've been friends for years, that there is no rivalry between the two. YN fell silent as she looked at the time, then at Hanni who was scrunching her nose and playing with her pen that’s designed as a sprout.

“It’s getting a bit late, you want to continue this at my place?”

“And you say I move fast, Park.”

“Ok, fine, don’t.”

YN jokingly packed her stuff with Hanni frantically stopping her and agreeing to the sudden invite. One thing YN understood is that it is better to show Hanni everything rather than telling her the things she needs to know. Much so, her actions speak louder than words.

“No rush, I’ll bring you home if it gets too late.”

As Hanni packed her stuff, YN sent a quick message to her parents regarding inviting the girl to her home. Surprisingly, they allowed it, as they were at home to finally put a face to the girl their daughter keeps mentioning. 

The pair walked out of campus together, a bit of tension that even a knife couldn’t cut it. As Hanni slowly and subtly tries to reach for YN’s hand, just to have a feel of what it's like. Only for Ms. Park Jihyo, to stop the pair.

“YN, Hanni, quite the sight we have here. Is your little rivalry over?” Neither one could answer the query, because there is still the banters, proving to the other who’s better, and the smug faces if either one was victorious.

“Hyo-unnie, can you  not?”

“Unnie?!” Hanni looked at the two Parks, there was a bit of similarity but she was not expecting the sudden information and reveal.

“Just teasing, couz. I heard aunt and uncle are home?”

Whatever conversation the cousins had, Hanni’s thoughts drifted away as she looked at YN’s free hand that was fidgeting with her ring, either she’s thinking or anxious. She learned that in order to stop those habits, one that YN mentioned earlier she wishes to stop doing, was to hold them.

Slowly reaching for YN’s hand as Jihyo eyed the interaction, a small smile appeared on her face once Hanni successfully did it. YN’s shoulders slowly slump down, squeezing Hanni’s hand, copying Jihyo’s smile as their conversation continued. YN’s hand is soft and smooth, like she puts lotion on it every night and after she showers.

“I’ll get going now, you lovebirds better get home safely.” Jihyo wiggled her eyebrows as she ran to her car where Nayeon was recording everything on her phone. Makes them think who the students actually are when their English teacher and Prefect of Discipline act like teenagers.

“Lovebirds?” It finally registered to YN that she’s been holding Hanni’s hand the entire time and that she just let it happen. Her brain short circuited as she saw her bodyguard waving at them and teasing YN by holding his own hands.

Hanni heard YN curse, a rare occurrence. She’s irritated… how the fuck does she still look cool?

“We’ll discuss this.” YN pointed at their intertwined hands and back at Hanni. “Later, understood?”

Hanni nodded, she hasn’t seen YN act like that before, well, once. It was during their soccer practice and with her being captain, it’s expected that she puts in the best performance and takes care of the team. Her eyebrow scrunched, a scowl on her face, and a clenched fist. This time, no one decided to let go as they walked towards the car, only when they settled down did they let go.

They could only look through the window, avoiding each other’s gaze, and the slow change in scenery as an estate with the name Park on the very gates appeared. An entire village just filled with different households, something one could see in Crazy Rich Asians. What took Hanni by surprise is the fact that by the very end of the estate, a mansion greets them and everything seemed to slow down as the car stopped at the very front gates of the place. A butler came rushing down, bowing to them, she looked at YN who had a sheepish shy smile.

Walking inside the place makes Hanni stop and just observe, it was still minimalist but the amount of natural light that could come in that oversees their backyard, or how there are two stairs going to the upper floor. Everything screamed crazy rich asians. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of fast footsteps as YN entered, a little girl holding a book crashed into her rival (or crush).

“Unnie! Mom bought me a new book from their trip. LOOK! LOOK!” This is the image no one sees, the way YN talks to her sister discussing the new book she got while Hanni took note of the interaction.

“Hyejoo, greet your sister’s visitor.” From the open kitchen island, there stood YN’s parents, one that Hanni has seen on multiple news and articles. The most successful couple within the food industry, Park Taemoo and Park Youngseo, CEO and CCO of Park Food Corporations. A big smile on YN’s face as she bowed to her parents, Hanni then followed.

“Y-you’re t-the daughter of-” Hanni kept stuttering as she whispered her revelation to YN, who would only nod at the girl. The pair walked into the kitchen, YN kissing her parents’ cheek as a greeting before standing next to Hanni.

“Ma, pa, this is Pham Hanni.” Hanni bowed a full 90 degrees which caught YN by surprise, still not used to this type of reaction when she brought her group of friends to her home the first time.

“Finally, a face to the name. You know, YN mentions you a lot.” The look of panic was evident on YN’s face from her mother’s comment that she looked to her father for help which she was grateful for.

“YN, why not go to your room first, or tour Hanni around while we prepare dinner? Yeah?” Mr. Park whispered to his wife as to why he had to cut the conversation short as they watched the pair walk around the house, to which they were probably discussing the revelation that Hanni discovered.

“My, my, amor. Our little pumpkin is growing up.”

“Mon cheri, I suggest we better work on dinner a bit faster. We have matters to discuss.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

It was hard keeping track of the entire place when there’s a bunch of rooms fit for entertainment, collectibles, and work. Hanni is still thinking of YN’s parents, recalling an article explaining how the couple chooses to hide the names of their children for their safety. Here she is, looking at the eldest daughter holding the hand of her little sister as they reach the end of the hall for their respective rooms. Hyejoo, who admires her sister a lot but also speaks multiple languages, more than Hanni could, goes into her room after YN explains that she needs to have a talk with her visitor and after dinner then they could play. She’s adorable.

In the room opposite of Hyejoo was YN’s, it wasn’t pink and bright like her sister’s but it clearly showcases everything that screams YN. A shelf that’s filled with nendroids from a specific anime that Hanni is not familiar with, a bunch of legos architect, and from the looks of it, her parents bought her two more sets. Another shelf filled with books and photo albums, a study table with another nendroid placed neatly on top of her notebooks, and her bed is neat with a deep shade of blue and white as its aesthetic.

“Did not expect you to be a fan of anime.”

“Why did you hold my hand?”

Flabbergasted, confused, and anxious, the top three emotions that Hanni is feeling as YN stepped closer to her.

“I thought we agreed that what happened last week was nothing, Pham.”

“You don’t think I wanted that?” Standing closely, YN was fidgeting, Hanni looking directly into her eyes. Some underlying feelings, something is keeping those two from saying what they want.

“You’re insufferable.”

A lie, a little white lie, because why say those hateful words when their hands are intertwined, moving closer and closer to each other, leaving no space for God. All they needed was one push, clear everything in their minds and admit that they don’t hate each other.

“You won’t do it? Fine, I’ll do it.” Hanni wrapped her free hand around YN’s neck, ready to pull her in, praying to God no one comes in and ruins the moment. Before she could do it, she felt soft lips by the corner of her lips. 

“And I’m insufferable?”

“I’m not just someone you can toy with, Hanni. You have someone courting you, remember?”

How could she forget? Well, for the fact that YN has been occupying her mind for who knows how long, which will definitely last longer as they almost kissed. Jungwon is the least of her worries, she wonders what is running inside YN’s mind, what is making her fall for the tall girl who is secretly a part of the 1% with incredible skills and intelligence.

“Sort everything out on your own, Pham Hanni. The last thing either of us want is another set of drama.”

If the drama revolves around YN, she doesn’t know whether to play it safe or risk it just to find out.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 

Luckily, dinner wasn’t awkward at all. The Parks are quite talkative compared to the eldest who merely joined in on the conversation, observing the girl sitting next to her. They’ve discussed everything YN has asked about Hanni for her project, even their business, and the grad ball which took the girl by surprise to find out they were the one sponsoring the event.

“We don’t ask for much, Hanni. Just one-”

“Two things, actually.”

The conditions were simple, one of which is that Hanni applies for an Ivy League school along with YN, just for the experience, and the other one… left her confused.

“Let YN take you to the grad ball, no other circumstances, because even if we sponsor the event and her friends try to talk her into it, she won’t attend.”

“I’m sorry but why me?” Her parents look at YN as she shakes her head, never to mention the things she’s said regarding the girl next to her that leaves her nothing but butterflies in her stomach, a headache, and her chest hurting from how fast her heart beats.

“You seem to have some sort of bond with her unlike the others.”

Now, YN was out of it.

[loving-august]

๑𓈒 ' . 𑇛 I'D STILL CHOOSE YOU.

PAIRINGS. diluc ragnvindr x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS. in which diluc notices your worries about the people around you.

GENRE. angst to fluff hurt/comfort

WC. 1.05k!!

WARNINGS. none, slight profanity, insecurity, gossips, bodyshaming

NOTES. hello! this fic will be new expansion to my fandoms hehe I hope you guys will like it just as much I enjoyed writing this fic. blame diluc bc of him I made a decision to create for genshin characters smh /j + reblogs are highly appreciated!

LINKS. navigaion | genshin impact masterlist | taglist form

๑𓈒 ' . 𑇛 REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

Being the richest bachelor in mondstat, Diluc is expected to do what nobles do. The way he greets, acts, and accomplishes every job perfectly. He received a vision at the age of 10 and became the youngest captain in the knights of favonius at the age of 14. Of course, he is now just a mere businessman taking care of the winery in the morning or protecting the entire mondstat at night time. His past is yet to be told.

Rich parents of noble women across nations often visit him in hopes to have their daughter as the groom. Yet, he refuses to tell them as he tells them that he has no sole interest in having a relationship with any women. Or so he thought.

You happened to see him in his dark knight duties one fateful evening. You were ambushed by hillichurls while you were on your way to the outskirts of mondstat, your home. You came out from work a bit too late than usual.

You accidentally punched him as you thought it was some treasure hoarder coming at you. You apologised so sincerely that it wasn't some bad guy.

"Master diluc?" You asked.

Shit. He cursed himself.

"Than-"

"Don't say a word about this." He sternly said. And you did.

You scratched your neck awkwardly, "I will. Thank you again!" You walked away from him. To be honest he was scary earlier, barbatos how could this happen to me?

Little did you both know, a certain bard was witnessing the scene. A playful smirk grew into his face. "Huh, may the wind guide each other." He whispered. It's a rare scene to see Diluc in this kind of situation. Maybe the dear archon barbatos, also known as venti would be part of playing cupid.

A time has passed since your first encounter with Diluc, Venti's cupid duties came into reality. He was very happy for you and Diluc and he even played a small tune for the two of you. As much as Diluc appreciated the gesture, he would not change the way he treats venti in his tavern due to his wine addiction. As well as Kaeya, the wonder duo never fails to give Diluc a headache.

Soon enough, you opened your eyes to the noble world. There is a lot of catching up to do. All the stereotypes were shown on to you, the mannerisms on talking, acting, and greetings to fellow nobles. It was hard. As someone like you had no experience on such acts.

You found yourself in your shared rooms with your lover. With your eyes all puffy and red due to crying. You couldn't take it anymore.

"How can Master Diluc find someone so…common.."

"I expected him to choose a noblewoman from liyue."

The voices of other people in mondstat broke your heart. To hear such a thing about Diluc, you felt responsible. Instead of making him happy by his side, you could only be giving him a bad name by just existing beside him.

It felt so wrong.

What you didn’t was that you fell asleep on the vanity where you cried yourself with dried tears on your cheeks.

Diluc just recently returned home from his darknight duties. You were completely aware of his schedule as if its the back of your palm. Why would you know all about it? Of course diluc would tell you things about him, he’s that devoted to you. Adeline, the head maid of the manor, greeted the master of the manor. “Good evening Master Diluc.”

“Good evening to you too,” Diluc greeted back.

He went straight to your shared rooms, not giving any mind of eating for tonight. He was busy eliminating abyss mages around mondstat. When he opened the door, first he saw you sleeping uncomfortably on the vanity table. He immediately removed his coat and placed it on some chair and carried you carefully. Making sure that you were not awake. How long have you been asleep? Your neck is probably sore because of the restricted sleeping position you were in.

He sighed as he saw you still in your morning clothes. He can’t imagine wearing all the heavy clothing from daylight to night time. That's why you've woken up? "Did I wake you up darling?" He asked.

you got up and he followed. "No, you didn't. I just felt my position changed." You groggily replied while rubbing your eyes.

Diluc was observing you. He noticed that you were secretly wiping off the direct tears on your face while pretending to rub your eyes after you had just woken up from a long slumber.

He was worried. Maybe he has been busy lately since he has a wine business to attend to. Not only the wine business but also his secret duties at night time at mondstat. The abyss order has been showing up lately.

"y/n, can I ask you a question?" He started. You looked at your hands, not looking at his worried eyes laid upon you. "uh, sure. What are you trying to ask?" You replied.

Something is not sitting right. The way you said it was as if you changed your sentence and the way you speak. this is not the y/n he used to talk to. A hint of guilt punched at diluc. He HAS been busy. He should reschedule his time for you after this. He felt accountable for your well-being, since he was the one who asked you to live with him and as his lover, it is his duty to take care of you.

"Is something bothering you lately?" He asked. There, he asked for it. Although he expects you to lie to him. You can't lie to him after all.

"No, nothing's wrong dearest, I'm just tired..that's all," you answered and gave him a small smile.

Diluc uses his thumb to wipe off rye excess tears from your face, "No you're not. It breaks my heart whenever you lie to me. Tell me the truth my love, whatever you say is valid, after all it made you feel this way," He slowly opened his arms for you to be able to rest on his chest while wrapping his arms around you, "if you feel like I'm slipping away from you, don't worry."

"I'd still choose you."

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