#¿? What is the most used tag so I can stop juggling around with the thousands of jojo tagsss 😭😭

[sheila--e]

I apologize for the shitty shading 😭🙏

[anjuschiffer]

[Mutuals]

Some more self-indulgent writing! Mainly because of a post @zestyzealot reblogged a while back and inspired this piece. 

(This is the post I’m referring to!)

Enjoy!

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P.Tag: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan

Tag: @polyvirnl

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Context: There’s no miraculouses. None. Nada. But the Bats still exist. Marinette uses her time to expand her brand MDC

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AO3

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Marinette huffed as she placed the last crystal bead onto the hem of the black skirt in her hands. 

Bringing it to eye level, a wide smile graced her lips, a smile breaking as Marinette giggled to herself as she watched her vision become reality.

Finally! After four long and exhausting days, it was done. When she started on Monday night, Marinette wondered if this project would get in the way of her weekly sleepover with Alya. Thank God it didn’t.

Placing the skirt on her bed, Marinette smiled as she took a picture of her latest piece for her new collection: 12 o’ clock.

That’s when the hatch on her floor opened up with a creak, Marinette watching as her father poked his head into her room. Why was he here?

“Marinette, there’s someone here looking for you.” He said, giving a side glance down below. “Please tell me he’s just a school friend and not another boy you asked to model for you.”

“Dad, I already told you, Luka is Juleka’s older brother, he- wait, he? It’s not Alya?” Marinette asked, wondering where her best friend was at. 

Yes, Alya gave her a heads up that she was running late for their sleepover, but she wasn’t downstairs yet? And her father had said ‘he’ instead of a guy friend’s name, so… who exactly was waiting for her downstairs? 

Because despite only saying the name once, her father tended to commit to memory the names of all of her male friends. “What does he look like?” 

“Well, he’s a bit on the short side,” Tom started, “has green eyes, tanned, wearing a turtleneck with some of those suit pants-”

“Slacks.” Marinette helped.

“Those,” Tom corrected himself, “and he has a dog with him.” Tom ended, watching as Marinette mumbled to herself.

Marinette didn’t know anyone with a dog, nonetheless with that type of fashion, causing Marinette to start pacing around her room, racking up some idea as to who it was that was in the living room. “He called the dog Titus, if memory serves me correctly. Or if I heard correctly for that matter.”

That caused Mari to stop in her tracks.

A turtleneck with slacks, a Great Dane named Titus, tanned skin...emerald eyes.

“No. Way.” Marinette quickly motioned her father to go down the ladder, quickly following him into the living room, her eyes widening upon seeing her theory be true.

There, standing inside the Dupain-Cheng living room was Damian Wayne with his dog, Titus.

“Took you long enough.” Damian said, adjusting the duffel bag on his shoulder. Titus wagged his tail as he saw his boy open the bag and give him his toy. 

Just then, the door swung open, Alya panting as she dropped to the floor as soon as she walked in.

“Girl, you wouldn’t believe who I just saw! There, as soon as I turned the corner of where I lived, I saw the Damian Wayne with his dog, and- why is he in your living room?” 

“Seeing as you finally caught up,” Damian said, walking over to Alya, handing her a heavy plastic bag. “Take care of Titus while we’re out.”

“We?” “We?” “We?!”  Alya, Tom and Marinette spoke at the same time, although Marinette’s came out as a squeak.

“Did you forget what you told me?” Damian waved his phone that was in his hand. Marinette watched as he showed her a tweet...her tweet in particular, Marinette now going into a state of panic. “You invited me to egg-” Marinette screamed, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as she lowered his phone and dragged him out the apartment, leaving behind a confused Tom and a giddy Alya. 

———

“You actually read that?” Marinette asked once more, covering her cheeks as they walked towards the park square. 

“I did.” Damian hummed as he adjusted the egg cartoons under his arm, a dangerous twinkle in his emerald eyes. 

Marinette let out a silent screech, confusing Damian. “Did you think I wouldn’t read it?” When he saw her nod, he sighed. “I read every comment left under any post I write. Sure, I don’t respond to any of them, but your comment… seemed… interesting.”

Marinette wanted to disappear into a black hole. Damian actually read that stupid comment she had left under his post. 

It was a post from earlier that week - a picture Damian had uploaded from the recent animal shelter he was volunteering at (as well as funding). 

Another post about an animal up for adoption, this time, a hamster named Louis. 

Marinette was scrolling through the comments under the post after retweeting it, when a particular one caught her attention.

-

<3 ACNH is Life <3 @eliza_beth 

Replying to @Real_BloodSon I have a pet chicken and just wanted to ask if the candle method is a good method to check for egg development.  If so, then are they safe to eat? If not, what’s a better method?

-

Everyone knew Damian loved to offer help when it came to animals -as it was no secret- but something stupid inside of Marinette thought she should do the only logical thing in her mind.

She commented on it.

-

Deadlines Are Approaching @a_mari_not_bug

Replying to @eliza_beth and @Real_BloodSon If it turns out that it is a good method, can I have some eggs? I’ve been wanting to egg someone's house as of late. @Real_BloodSon care to join?

-

Marinette didn’t think he would actually read it, let alone actually come. Wait…

Damian lives in the US, not France, unlike her. 

So how did he know where she lived, let alone reside?

“How did you know where I live?” Marinette asked, realizing they were finally at the park, right across from the targeted house, not even realizing that she had brought him over to the house in question.

Damian blinked, setting the cartons down onto the bench.

“Tsurugi told me.”

“You know Tsurugi. As in Kagami Tsurugi?” Marinette asked, wondering where he had met her friend. 

Damian nodded.

“We met during the semifinals for the international fencing competition.” 

Oh. So that’s how they knew each other. 

Damian let a smirk grace his lips. “Obviously, I won.” 

Marinette simply looked at him in awe, causing Damian’s ego to soar more. Of course, that didn’t overcome the other feeling he had inside his chest.

After all, there was no way he was going to tell her that he has been following her account for quite a while. 

So using the amounts of aesthetic pictures, selfies, bakery promos and mini photo shoots, it didn’t take long for Damian to pinpoint where she lived. 

That’s not following Damian. It’s called stalking. 

Okay Drake, but in his defense:

1- it was his side account that he uses for his own personal interests.

Damian didn’t exactly like having thousands of people following him because he was a Wayne. He wanted to be followed for being Damian. 

2- he had been following her for quite a while.

Two solid years to be exact. 

After exchanging social media accounts with Kagami, Marinette was one of the few people Twitter recommended to follow.

Marinette peaked his curiosity when Kagami mentioned Marinette being the person behind her “lucky” fencing bag. (Although, she didn’t want to admit that she used it as a luck charm.) It was an all black duffel bag, enchanting golden embroidery that collected to a single dragon. 

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Kagami had provided. A girl in her grade from her school in France, who designed the most intricate designs Damian had seen. (Yes, he has seen all of her sketches and final products of the things she had designed…yes it did involve scrolling through her photos and accidentally liking all of them as he went…)

3- it was too late to press that “follow” button when he already kinda didn’t do it as soon as she followed his own account. 

When he finally noticed that she did already follow him, he didn’t know what to do. Should he follow her back? 

“Not yet.” Dick had told him. But just how long did he have to wait? He was stupid for listening to Dick’s advice and he definitely wasn’t going to follow her back now. Or should he?

“So,” Marinette started again, looking around the area, scanning to see that no one saw them. “Have you ever done this before?”

“As in egging a house?” Damian watched as Marinette nodded, wondering if this was her first time doing this. “No, but it shouldn’t be any different than throwing snowballs.” Damian compared, remembering last year’s winter. 

Jon had managed to convince the Wayne’s and the Kent’s to do a snowball fight. 

The Wayne’s obviously won. 

“Guess you have a point.” Marinette replied, attempting to vision Damian’s analogy. She picked up an egg and looked at it and then at the window of the person who had been causing her turmoil these past few days. “Are you… are you sure you want to go with this?”

“Aren’t you?” Damian asked, awaiting Marinette’s signal. He had perfectly balanced a dozen eggs into the nook of his arm, one being juggled in his other hand. 

He was ready and from the twinkle in his eyes, eager to throw. 

Marinette found herself smiling, letting out a laugh as she grabbed a few eggs herself and balanced them in her hand. 

“Between you and I, I've been dreaming of doing this for the longest.” Marinette said with the biggest grin Damian had seen her with that night. “Ready?”

“Always.” Damian replied, mirroring her grin as the two looked at the target, Marinette throwing the first attack.

-

Bonus: 

Marinette hummed as she doodled in her sketchbook, her mind wandering to last night’s events. 

She hadn’t known how much stress she had built up thanks to Lila and her constant need to be the attention of everything. 

The messes Marinette had to clean up due to Lila causing disorder during class and after class, all because of Lila and her gazillion and one ‘medical’ problems.

Marinette didn’t realize how emerged she was towards throwing eggs -with great accuracy- towards Lila’s bedroom window until she threw her last egg.

She remembered how satisfying it was to have thrown all of those eggs at the window, that glee when Damian smiled at her. 

How happy she was when Damian complimented her for her graceful and precise throws despite the low lightning of the park lights. 

Marinette placed her pencil down as she finished adding some last minute touches to the coat she had finished designing when Alya slammed her hands in front of her. Marinette quickly looked up at her friend, tilting her head when she was met with twinkling eyes.

“Did you hear what happened to Lila last night?” Alya whispered, causing Marinette to quickly tense. 

“N-no? What happened?” Marinette asked, closing her sketchbook. 

“Her house got egged. Well, her bedroom window did.” Alya corrected herself, watching as Marinette let out a gasp.

“No way! Poor Lila.” Marinette looked over to Lila, watching as she was surrounded by their classmates to gather to listen to her woeful story. “Who would ever do such a thing?”

“Beats me.” Alya said, looking at Marinette, a faint smile on her lips. “You and Damian wouldn’t happen to have been involved-”

“Us?” Marinette instigated, causing Alya to lean forward. “You think Damian and I would do something that stupid and not think of the consequences that awaited us? No way.” Marinette denied, causing Alya to sigh.

“Should’ve known you wouldn’t be up to it. Only you would step down after overthinking about the consequences.” Alya said as she patted her head before taking a few steps from Marinette. “Not like anyone would know who it was since the security cameras of the area seemed to have gone off at that time, strangely enough. Maybe if I hear what Lila has to say about the event, I’ll get some hints as to who it was.”

With that, Alya left to go and listen to Lila, leaving Marinette by herself.

Finally alone, Marinette let out a sigh, feeling her back relax. She felt as a smile rose to her face. 

Giddily, she took out her phone to send Damian a text when a Twitter notification caught her attention. 

She quickly checked it, her smile growing even more. She went back to sending Damian a text.

You bugged the cameras last night?

Damian: A necessary precaution. 

Marinette giggled at his response.

Also, I saw you started following me. Now we’re mutuals! 

Damian liked your message.

Damian: It was only a matter of time, seeing as we egged your enemy’s home.

More like someone I dislike.

Damian: Same thing. 

Damian: Query. Would you like to join Titus and I for a walk at the park? 

Sure! Class ends at 3. Meet you then?

Damian: Titus and I would await you then.

Marinette grinned as she placed her phone away as the school bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. 

She couldn’t wait to spend time with her newfound friend! Who knows what mischief awaited the two!

[crescentsteel]

Just Friends - Part 4

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo as a university student, model fem reader

word count: 5612

A/N: I enjoyed writing this chapter, thus the extra thousand words. Don’t know how I should tag this. Smut, fluff, sexual tension (even though they had sex already?) I don’t really know lol. 

Listening to Over and Over Again by Nathan Sykes while writing the rooftop scene.

There’s still 4 chapters in my head. I know its so long already but like I just can’t let go of my original vision haha

Part 3 | Part 5 | m.list

After you finish reviewing your last paper for the semester, you walk to his couch and let yourself fall on it.

“Finally!”

You’re done with the semester. You feel relief, but you also feel the weariness of the past weeks coming down on you. You thought that when you finish all your requirements and exams, the first thing you’re going to do is have sex with Kuroo. Especially since you were at his place already.

“You done with your paper?” he says loudly from his room.

‘Yep!”

You hear his footsteps approaching. He lifts your legs up and places it on his lap as he sits. You ignore him and continue to relax. His fingers start to slowly caress your legs up to your thighs. You know where he’s going with it, and it does feel nice, but not sexually.

You sit up, which gets his attention. He makes his move immediately and is about to kiss you. Before his lips touch yours, you cover them with your hands. He stops with a puzzled look on his face.

“Sorry. I know it’s been a while, but I’m still tired.”

He grips your wrist and puts your hand down. He holds both your shoulders and nuzzles your neck.

“Mmm. I can’t change your mind?”

You laugh weakly and ruffle his usual bed hair.

“Let’s watch something on Netflix. Maybe we can ‘chill’ later.” You give him a lopsided smile which he returns.

“Alright. What do you wanna watch?”

“Romance.”

He frowns at you.

“What? I wanna watch something that does not need my full attention.” You defend yourself.

“Mkay.”

It’s been around an hour since the movie started. Your mind is afloat while you watch. You can’t follow the story, but you like this state of doing nothing and something at the same time. You check on how Kuroo is, only to find him asleep. You’re amused at how this isn’t so surprising. After all, you aren’t the only one who juggled studies. You’re not even sure if he’s done with his own.

You scoot beside him. You’re about to wake him up to tease him about sleeping, but he looks really out of it. You stare at him for a while. You don’t tell it to him because he’s going to rub it in your face, but he really is good-looking. You brush up his bangs that was always blocking his face. You get a full view of his features. You’ve never paid attention to how he looks when sleeping.

Before you know it, you lean closer to him and kiss him on the forehead. After your lips leave his skin, you freeze in horror. What the hell did you just do?!

You’re only friends with benefits. Nothing about that was sexual nor friendly. You know your boundaries. You shouldn’t have done that. You don’t even like Kuroo like that. Right?

You shake your head furiously. No no no. You’re just really tired. Maybe your brain absorbed the romance even though you weren’t fully paying attention to the movie. Yeah. That was it.

You like Kuroo for sex and sex only.

You shake him furiously. He sits up abruptly.

“Huh? What happened?” He’s obviously startled by how you shook him, but his eyes are still a bit disoriented.

You stand up and remove your shirt. Your shorts go next. He puts his arms on his thighs and slouches a bit to look at you more closely. His once-disoriented eyes are now completely focused on you.

You hold his gaze as you strip yourself naked down to your underwear. That was all it took for the air to sizzle with lust. Since you’re at it, might as well make the most out of it. You stride slowly towards him. You give your hips a bit of a sway, lingering minutely in each step you take. You keep your eyes on his, not faltering in any way.

When you reach him, you straddle his lap. His hardness that’s rasping his flimsy boxers instantly lets you know that he enjoyed the show. You cup his face and kiss him right away. You don’t waste any time. You stick your tongue on his mouth as you grind on his hard-on. You want to feel him more. You want it now. You have to harshly remind yourself that this is what you came for.

You take out his member and position it at your entrance.

Kuroo pulls away from the kiss. He holds your hips in place, stopping you.

“Is something wrong, kitten?”

His lust-filled eyes now have a hint of worry in them. Why should it matter if something is wrong? That shouldn’t be an issue. You want to be had. Plain and simple.

Damn it. You don’t like how this is making you feel.

“Nothing. Don’t you want it?” you ask impatiently.

“Hah! Of course I do. But you seem upset.”

You underestimate how he notices almost everything. No way you’re going to let him know what’s going on in your head.

You sigh. You hug him and purr on his ear.

“Tetsu, I badly need you to fuck me right now.”

He grunts. You never use his first name. You don’t use swear words as well. Only now.

That does the trick. You feel him twitch underneath you. You feel his grip tighten on your hips that it almost hurts.

“Oh kitten,” he places an open-mouthed kiss at your shoulder.

“I’m gonna ruin you tonight.” You shiver at how dangerously he said those words.

He pulls your hair, making you look at him again. You shudder at the raw desire completely visible on his face.

He plays with one nipple with his tongue while his right hand gropes the other. His left hand goes to your groin. He traces the warmth of your slit and rubs your clit at the end of his strokes. You grip his shoulders tightly for support. You yelp when he bites the hard bud while inserting two fingers inside you.

Ahh yes. This is what you want, to let both of your carnal hunger for each other take over you. To let it cloud your head and consume you until your mind goes blank.

—

You look for your laptop in the back seat, but it wasn’t there. You’re a hundred percent sure that you did not take it to your unit last night. You were so out of it that you just got inside, laid down, and slept. That could only mean that you left it at his apartment.

You hurriedly take out your phone and dials his number. After three rings, he picks up.

“Hey. Can I go there? I think I left my laptop there.”

“I’m not home, but I do have it with me. I was just about to call if you’re at campus.”

“Actually, yes I am.”

“I’m around the area. I’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.”

“Alright. Thanks!”

You drop the call first.

You find a seat at the benches near the university gate. You’ll just wait for him here so he won’t need to find you.

“Oh hi y.n. Have you submitted our last paper?” It’s Kira, one of your classmates from your Management Theories class. She’s with another classmate of yours, but you don’t remember her name.

You give both of them a frail smile. That was all you could manage.

“Not yet. I’m waiting for someone before I do.”

“You okay y.n.? You don’t look too good. You must’ve stayed up all night for our paper.”

“Hahaha. Yeaaah.”

Blatant lie. You finished your paper early. It was Kuroo that kept you all night. A man of his word he is, he ravaged you senseless. It was only sheer willpower that gave you the strength to drive home at 2am.

In fact, you don’t want to go outside today. Your shoulders are tender. Your hips and legs ache. You feel sore between your thighs. Even walking is a chore You just want to lie down and waste the day away.

You hear your text notification.

“I’m here.”

When you find him, his eyes are already on you. He grins and waves at you. You can see your laptop bag on his hand. You meet him halfway.

“Are you sick?” He puts his hand on your forehead. You swat his hand away.

“No. But my everything hurts.” You speak softly.

“Oya?” You pout and glare at him. He puts up his usual conceited grin.

“You asked for it, kitten.” He inches closer to you and tilts your chin up.

“Remember?”

You feel your face getting warm. You always match his provocations. You don’t back down, but that was when you’re at the confines of his apartment. This is the first time you’re in a public space since you met at the bar. This is your university, your domain. You are very much aware that other students who might know you, are passing by.

You gently push him with one hand.

“Stop it. We’re in public.” You warn him while looking around.

“Alright, alright. Here’s your thing.” He hands you your laptop bag.

“Uhh. Thanks, Kuroo.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“It was Tetsu last night.” You scoff. “That was a one-time thing. You should’ve savored it.”

You freeze when you feel his hand on your cheek. You’re not sure which is warmer, his hand or your face.

“I did savor it.” He pinches it lightly before letting go.

Before you’re able to react, he scurries away with a stupid smile. “Hehe. See ya, y.n” he salutes with two fingers and finally leaves.

You want to be annoyed, but you’re too tired.

“You and your boyfriend look like you came from a magazine. You’re so tall and pretty.” You hear Kira’s voice behind you. You harshly turn around to explain. You wave your hands frantically. “No, no, no. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Eeehh? But you were so sweet.”

You laugh nervously. “He’s just a friend.”

Kira nods. “You should go home after you submit our paper, y.n. Your face is very red now.”

Damn him.

—

When you passed your paper two weeks ago, that officially ended your semester. Aside from your modeling gigs, you’ve only stayed at home. Kuroo’s been asking if you want to hang out, but you’ve been ignoring him. You needed the rest from juggling sex, work, and studies. You thought that you need to focus on one for now - work. But now you’re getting bored. It’s been two days since your last gig. What should you do today?

An unknown number suddenly pops on your phone.

“Hello y.n.?” It was a familiar calm voice.

“Kenma?”

“Yea. But it’s Kuroo who asked me to call.” You hear fumbling on the other end.

“Oi. Y.n. Why do you answer Kenma’s call but ignore mine, huh?” You sigh. You don’t really want to explain that you need some time away from him.

“Never mind that. I’m at Kenma’s. Wanna play here?”

You perk up. That’s perfect. You don’t have anything to do today. It’s also been a while since you played altogether.

But, you’ve never been over at Kenma’s.

“Is it okay with him?” It might be Kuroo’s idea. You don’t want to impose.

“Kenma! You don’t mind, right?” You hear Kenma but couldn’t make out what he said.

“Yep. He said it was fine. I’ll text you the address.”

You drive to the address he gave you. He said to just enter, so you did. You follow Kuroo’s loud voice to locate them. You open the door where you hear his voice from. Both of them take their eyes away from the screen to see who entered.

“Look who’s back from the dead.” You don’t want to admit it but it was nice to see his usual grin.

“Missed me, Kuroo?” You tease back.

The two-week break did you some good. You’re back to how you are with each other, in your part at least. No weirdness involved.

“Hey Kenma.” you give him a warm smile. He greets back with a curt nod.

“So what’re we playing?” You sit beside Kuroo.

“I wanna race y.n.” Kenma says.

“Ooh. That means you’re in my seat, Kuroo.”

“Fine,” he unwillingly hands you the controller.

You switch places. Kenma goes to his disc collection and looks for the game you’re going to play.

“By the way y.n., aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

“For what?”

Pride shines on his face. “Hehe. I’ve passed all my subjects. I’m officially graduating this semester.”

You gape at him in astonishment. You know he’s a Senior, but you thought he’s going to graduate next semester, not this one.

“Whoa. I- uh.” You don’t know how to react. Should you hug him? Shake his hand? Kiss him?

Wait, what? You shake your head. Kenma’s here. No indecencies allowed.

“But why aren’t you celebrating?” you ask.

“I did already. I was gonna invite you actually, but you weren’t answering my texts,” he says it casually, but his face is serious.

It‘s nice of him to want to invite you to celebrate such a milestone in his life. Maybe you really are actual friends despite being shagmates. Now you feel bad for ignoring him because you felt strange around him lately.

“Um sorry. I didn’t know.” you apologize awkwardly while looking away. Your face lights up when you think of a way to make it up to him.

“Do you want anything in particular as a grad gift?”

“You can ask for that newly released game” Kenma quickly answers from across the room. You laugh when Kuroo makes a face.

“Hey. I’m the one she’s asking.”

Kenma returns to his seat and starts the game.

“Think about it while we play,” you say.

He doesn’t seem to be thinking though. While you’re racing with Kenma, Kuroo keeps on taunting you to beat Kenma. He abandons sitting and moves behind you.

“Left, left. GO LEFT!” With his hands on your shoulders, he nudges your upper body to the left as you swerve through a curve. You two are in sync in movement which adds to your excitement. You go through two nitrous while Kenma slips on a banana.

“Bye Kenmaaaa” you can’t help but egg him on. You’re grinning so hard your cheeks are starting to hurt. You’re almost at the finish line. Finally, you can beat Kenma at something on the first try.

“Haha! Good one, kitten.”

You go rigid. You glance at Kenma to see his reaction. He’s still focused on the game. Hopefully, he didn’t hear. When you return your eyes on the screen, you hit a shell. You slow down while Kenma gets back to being first. You do your best to catch up, but he’s already at the finish line.

“So close.” you groan in frustration. You could’ve won if Kuroo wasn’t such an idiot.

“Heh. My turn.”

“Don’t you need to be somewhere tonight?” Kenma asks Kuroo.

He looks at the time. “It’s way too early,” then he stills for a second before sitting beside you again.

“I know what I want y.n.” His smile tells you upfront that he’s up to something. You ready yourself for what it is.

“Come with me tonight.”

“Where? What for?”

“We have this batch graduation party at a hotel. We’re allowed a +1.”

“Uhh. Why me?”

“Cause you’re pretty.” Kenma says in a nonchalant manner.

“Not just pretty. You’re way hot. My batchmates will be jealous of me nyehahaha.” You just stare at his animated state of idiocy.

“Sorry about him y.n.” When you look at Kenma, he shares the same expression you have.

“Won’t you get bored if I’m there?”

“Nah. I planned to go alone before asking you.”

“Why not ask Kenma?”

“Pass.” Kenma says too quickly.

“That’s why.” Kuroo confirms.

“Don’t you want anything else? I can get you anything.” You try to negotiate something else that you can buy for him.

“That’s too easy for you. And I don’t really need anything.”

You exhale heavily while rubbing your face.

“Okay, sure.” You grumble.

“Yes!” He laughs maniacally.

To be honest, you’re a little uncomfortable about this. You’re sure people will think you’re dating. Ugh. Whatever. Since he asked for it as a gift, you’ll give it to him just this time.

“I’m thirsty. Does anyone want water?” Kuroo suddenly stands up and heads to the kitchen.

“I’m good,” you say while Kenma just shakes his head.

“So,” Kenma spoke as soon as Kuroo left the room. You turn to him.

“Kitten, huh?”

Your whole body tenses up. He heard it! You have no excuse this time. You feign innocence and smile so fake that it’s making you cringe. Kenma’s smarter than you thought. If he pulled this off before Kuroo asked you, you wouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wait. He’s also the one who reminded Kuroo of the event even though it’s still early in the afternoon. Did he do that deliberately because he knew Kuroo’s going to ask you in that instance?

Ugh.

You know that Kuroo is very perceptive, but Kenma’s just on a different level that it’s almost scary.

“I think I’m gonna get some water too.” You make your escape to the kitchen and give Kuroo some verbal beating.

–

Maybe he should’ve gone together with you. It’s been thirty minute since he got there. He’s even late, but he still hasn’t heard from you.

He takes out his phone to call you, but his thumb stops when he sees his outgoing calls history. It was mostly your number from the amount of times he’s called you from the past two weeks. They were all missed though. You never answered him.

Admittedly, he was worried when you were ignoring his texts and calls. That’s why you had to use Kenma’s phone to check up on you because he has no idea where you live.

Of course, neither of you is obligated to reply or show up to each other, but he does care more than a fuck buddy should. It wouldn’t hurt for you to take 5 seconds to reply to his texts. What bothered him the most is that maybe he went overboard with the teasing and pissed you off for real.

He’s glad that you seemed normal this afternoon. You were actually nice to have thought of giving him something for graduation. He didn’t think that you would. You even agreed to be his date tonight. He didn’t exactly phrase it that way earlier because you might feel off with the word ‘date’.

Instead of calling you, he sends a text message to know where you are.

Someone puts a hand on his shoulders. “Hey Kuroo. Are you with someone tonight?” It’s Reiji, a batchmate with the same major.

“Hell yeah I am.” The confidence in his voice makes Reiji curious. “Where is she?”

“Running late,” he answers thriftly. Reiji nods his head and looks around. Reiji suddenly stands up straight and shakes his arm violently.

“Someone brought a hottie. Look!” Reiji continues to shake his arm to urge him to look at said hottie. He doesn’t care though. He looks at his phone to see if you’ve replied.

“I swear, Kuroo. She looks like a freaking model.” The word ‘model’ didn’t go unheard. He instantly turns to the direction Reiji was looking.

Reiji is a fucking tool. You aren’t just hot. You look absolutely divine. You’re wearing a crimson dress that hugged your marvelous figure. It goes just above your knees, but there’s a knot on both sides that hitches the dress higher to show just the right amount of skin on your gorgeous thighs. It has flimsy straps that highlight your neck and shoulders.

The only time he saw you with makeup was the night you met, and that was only lipstick. Tonight, a glossy shade of peach is tinted on your lips. You’re wearing eyeliner that’s intricately drawn, giving your eyes that sultry look.

You’re also wearing heels which makes you stand out even more.

The most captivating of all is how you carry yourself. You are not overdressed in any way. The clothes are just right for the hotel setting. It’s the way you walk with finesse while occasionally glancing at corners that makes you look like royalty who’s checking on her subjects.

Others are also staring, but you don’t seem to notice or maybe you don’t mind at all.

Your eyes finally meet his. He suddenly feels nervous. He has all the cockiness, but he can’t muster any right now. You look down for a while and tuck your hair behind your ears. Then you give him a coy smile before you approach him. Ah fuck.

“What the- Did she just smile at you?!” His lips form a lopsided smile as his ego swells up. He pats Reiji twice. “Sorry dude. That hottie is with me.” He puts his hands on his pockets. He raises both eyebrows and gives Reiji a meaningful look before marching to meet you.

He puts a hand on your shoulder when you’re within reach. The stares that were previously on you are now shared between you two.

“You’re late,” he says in a hushed voice.

“Deliberately, of course. Now everyone knows the pretty girl is with you. Be a little thankful.” You respond in the same manner while giving him a pleasant smile for everyone to see.

You really are a sly one. His hand goes to your waist and leads you to his friends. He introduces you as a special friend of his. He gives them vague answers when they ask if you guys are dating. You ride with it. You don’t just nod when there’s a conversation. You actually join in it and keep up with what’s going on.

There’s a time when he had to leave you for a while because a professor from his department asked him about his plans after graduation. He doesn’t prolong the conversation because someone might hog you.

He excuses himself and finds you giggling with his batchmates. He smiles to himself. You really kept your end of the bargain. You aren’t just the hot chick, you also have wits to boot.

He goes back to your side. “Sorry folks, but I’m getting her back.”

“Whaat? Cmon.” He hears more grumbles of disagreement, but he doesn’t care. He wants you to himself now. You smile politely to them and bows your head. “Nice to meet you guys.”

“C’mon.” He guides you out of the hall. “Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.”

He goes in an elevator and presses the highest button.

“I have to say. I didn’t think you’d cooperate this well.”

You sneer at his indirect praise. “I’m an amazing trophy girl, aren’t I?”

He nods approvingly and claps slowly. “Brilliant honestly.”

You punch him playfully on the arm.

The elevator dings and reveals the rooftop. He lets you go first and follows. The floor is amazing. The lights are warm and there’s soft music playing in the background. The clear view of the city lights is the biggest attraction.

“Woooow,” the look of awe palpable on your eyes.

“Cool, right?” He asks, but you don’t answer. You just absorb the view in front of you. The breeze blows your hair gently, showing more of your profile.

“Don’t you want to sit? Your feet must hurt from those shoes.”

You shake your head. “Not really. I’m used to it. I’ve stood and walked in heels for long periods of time.”

“From work?”

“And family. I’m also their trophy girl sometimes.”

He looks for any hint of sadness but you say that as a matter of fact only. On the contrary, you look back at him with warmth in your eyes.

“Congratulations Kuroo.” The smile he sees is like the one he saw when he cooked for you. He’s a bit moved that you are truly happy for his achievement.

“Thank you.” He returns the sincerity.

You both enjoy the silence and the twinkling lights laid before you. The soft music in the background is the only sound audible presently.

“Come here.” He grabs you by your wrist and pulls you close. He puts your arms around his nape.

“What’re you doing?” You struggle a bit from his grip.

“My gift still hasn’t ended, right?” He outsmarts you, yet again. You blink twice and heave.

“You’re really milking this, aren’t you?”

He wraps his arms arounds your waist when you stop resisting. He starts swaying slowly, following the rhythm of the song. He revels in the feeling of your body pressed to him. The natural thing to do would be to whisk you away from here, take you to his place, and bang you wildly. But that’s not what he wants right now. This. This is enough for him for now. Having you this close gives him unspeakable contentment.

He lifts your chin with a finger so you’ll look at him. He returns his arm to your waist once you’ve locked eyes.

“You really look beautiful tonight.” He finally tells you. You’re too gorgeous not to let you know.

You blink twice at him with your mouth a few centimeters apart. The make-up doesn’t hide the subtle pink shade that suddenly glowed on your cheeks. Lovely. He won’t miss this opportunity.

He swiftly dips down just to stop with his lips a few inches from yours. He can feel you completely tensed. The breath you’re holding is apparent.

“Relax, y.n.” His one hand climbs to your back to caress it, ushering you to ease up. When you loosen up, he claims your lips. When you melt in his arms in complete surrender, it’s enthralling. The warmth of your mouth against his is too good for words. He can’t get enough. You open your mouth letting him slip in his tongue. He adores how you reciprocate with the same passion.

Your right hand travels from his nape to his chest. How this is still non-sexual is beyond him. He can kiss you like this all night.

The ring of laughter that echoed in the air breaks the enchanted bubble you two were just in. A group of people enters the floor. You get away from him hastily.

“We should go.” You tell him while avoiding his gaze. You make your way to the elevator without waiting for him. One of the girls who just came in lingers her eyes at your face. You ignore it and get in the elevator. Kuroo goes right after you.

When the elevator closes, you see your reflection. Your lipgloss was smudged all over. No wonder the girl was staring. You hurriedly get a napkin from your purse to wipe it off.

“Can I take my gift home?” You don’t know if it’s you or his voice lacks the regular egotism it has. You still steer clear of looking at him so you can’t see his face.

You still haven’t recovered. No one has kissed you like that. It was agonizingly delicate but ardent. It felt like drowning but floating at the same time. You can still feel your heart pounding at your chest.

You laugh timidly to shake it off. You need to get back to your cheeky self before he notices.

“Sorry, but the gift is getting tired.” You do your best to look normal when you finally face him.

“I’ll drive you home then.” You want to refuse, but it would be weird. You just told him you’re tired. It’d be obvious that you just want to get away from him.

You defeatedly give him your keys.

The ride to your place was spent in silence. You close your eyes to straighten your mind. It was nothing. That was just a regular make out session done in a very romantic setting. It’s probably completely normal for him, so it should be for you too.

“I’ll let you borrow the car so you don’t have to take a cab home.” You interrupt the stillness. “You don’t have to. It’s still early anyways.”

“Consider it a consolation since you can’t take the gift home.” You did it. You said something your usual self would.

“I’d rather take the gift itself, so no.” Damn it. Just when you thought you’ve regained your sass, he instantly shoots it down. You’re almost at your place.

“Holy shit. You live at Roppongi Hills?!” He says out of the blue. Oh right. You’ve never let him drive you home. You didn’t see the need for him to know where you live. You’re also wary of your privacy. You completely forgot about that because of what happened earlier.

“Parking is over there.”

He stops the engine when he finds a spot. You get out of your car immediately.

“Thanks for driving me home. Night.” You greet dryly.

“I want to see your place at least.”

“Buy why?” You whine in frustration. You just want to lie in bed and distract yourself from any thoughts about him.

“Oh y.n. You’ve been keeping me out since day 1. Now that we’re here, can’t you spare this unfortunate man a peek?” He laments dramatically.

His acting is so bad that your laugh echoed at the corners of the parking lot. God, his humor really gets you. You speak when you catch your breath, “A peek it is then, unfortunate man.” Finally, you feel the air between you two clear up.

He follows you when you go inside the building.

“Good evening, maam.” Ths security guard bows as he greets you.

“He’s with me,” referring to Kuroo. “Good evening, sir,” he greets Kuroo as well.

When you’re out of earshot, he says, “Sometimes I forget how ridiculously rich you are. Maybe I should start calling you milady or somethin.”

“Call me ‘Mistress,’ you lowly servant,” you say jokingly.

His eyebrow and the corner of his mouth both shoot up at the same time. “So you’re into that, huh?”

“I was kidding of course!”

“Let me stay and I’d serve you all night, y.n.”

The right response would be to ask him how he plans to serve you exactly. But you panic instead, the thought of even kissing him again makes you nervous like crazy. Crap, you’re really losing it. You pray that you aren’t blushing.

“Tough luck, Kuroo. I just want to lie down and do nothing for the night.” You bring the conversation back to normal before it escalates into something that involves you and him having any intimate contact.

When you get to your unit, you let him in. You keep the door open. You don’t want to be enclosed here with him in it. The last thing you need is him tainting your place. You don’t want to wake up and realize that he’s had his way with you on your own bed.

His eyes survey every corner, looking very impressed at the interior. “Daaamn. My place is shit compared to this.”

You check your phone. Five minutes from now, you’re kicking him out.

“You can get your water in the fridge if you want.” You mentally praise yourself for keeping the conversation light and breezy.

“Left or right?”

You sigh loudly. You make your way to your kitchen. Halfway through, you hear your door creak. Oh no. You hear it thud close.

“Say y.n., what should I do so I can stay here tonight?” Despite the huge space, you feel trapped. His eyes are intensely piercing on you. You gulp to clear the build-up of nerves that blocked your throat.

“Y-You just can’t.” How dare you stutter!

As he takes his steps to cross the distance between you, you grow even more fidgety. You want to step back, run away even. If he pulls off the same stunt on the rooftop earlier, you don’t know if you can hold back the unwanted feelings you’ve been disregarding recently. You’ve been pushing them at the back of your head, telling yourself excuses, and convincing yourself that it’s nothing. And until tonight, you were successful.

You don’t want to have feelings for Kuroo. You won’t be able to handle the complexity of the situation that would arise.

You waver when he gently strokes your cheek.

“Hey,” he says it so gently that your eyes reach for his, pulled in by the magnetism of his voice.

They hold the same mellow tenderness they had while ago. He’s never been like this with you. Only tonight.

Maybe he - no. You shouldn’t delude yourself like that. This can go very bad for you if you make a mistake. You’ll end up falling for someone who enjoys only the sex and company, nothing more. What you’ve been feeling since you left the hotel is fear. You’ve been repressing all these thoughts and they’ve built up to this situation. You are now in a sitch wherein you’re scared that if he makes his move, you’ll be too powerless to stop yourself.

He lowers his head, closing in inch by inch. Too close for comfort. His lips go past yours and lands on your cheek. It’s only a soft peck.

“I really liked your gift,” he says with authenticity, then lets you go.

He heads for the door. Your eyes absent-mindedly trail him as he exits.

“Good night, y.n” He winks and closes your door.

You go to your bed and sit. Your eyes are fixated at the wall while your brain tries to make out what just happened. You stuff your face in a pillow and squeal with frustration. Who are you kidding?

Kiss or no kiss, you fell for him.

Part 3 | Part 5 | m.list 

[energyanon]

I feel like it's the cool thing to do, you know to make fun of him right now and I just don't feel like it. I feel sad for him because though I obviously don't know what's going on bts I can't help but feel he isn't doing too good. The way he was behaving at the restaurant with Leah was just too much and felt like him playing the role of happy go lucky guy...

Also, in one of your readings you mentioned that the people behind him were kinda cold, not all but some and that's just sad so I'll keep my thoughts positive and hope he finds true happiness soon, whatever that may look like.

Here’s the thing: Henry can do better.

Bar none, he can do better. He’s choosing not to do any form of healing or internal work. He’s choosing to make silly decisions. He is 38, at some point he needs to stop being babied and held accountable, and that is where this started. Fans expected better, he failed to meet that, and the reaction was jarring to people. When you used to love something and the rose coloured glasses are taken off, it’s jarring, you’re going to be emotional about it. You’re going to be nasty, that’s how it works. You feel angry and embarassed at yourself for giving so much time to something that turned out to be false, and you need them to feel what you felt. Classic projection. I’m actually angry at ME for feeling, so im going to be angry at YOU for making me feel that way. I don’t think anyone think that it’s become “cool” per say to make fun of him, I believe that we’re community based creatures, and we’ll always go where the group goes. It’s not “cool” it’s just where everyone is at the moment. And to not follow the group is to be shunned. A couple of weeks ago I was on the tag, and there were anons hassling long time henry fans saying “are you leaving the fandom i cant believe you still like him blah blah”, and those people had to say either they’re taking a break cause they can’t handle it, or they agree and they’re leaving. And all of this is over NV of all people. But that's the thing is we see all these things that people aren't doing, comparing them to ourselves saying "I would never" but you also were raised in an entirely different environment and family. HC seems to believe that being silent is the best way to go, probably because he was raised that way. He made one call out post and got the reaction he got: guess what he’s now learnt to never do that again. What’s he going to reform back to now? Being silent. I don’t feel that the people around HC are a good influence. I do feel that that isn’t helping his mindset, and he is being dragged down by said people, but he’s also not taking responsibility to change that. A member of his FAMILY is apart of his work and personal life, and he apparently made a production company with charlie. That’s all kinds of triangulation that I dont even want to get started on, and there’s two reasons to get involved with family and thats either 1. You want to help THEM, or 2. they’re in your ear convincing you. It is never a good idea to mix family with work, ever. He doesn’t make good decisions, but I do feel that that’s also because he trusts the people in his ear too much, and they have become like a family to him. That’s hard to let go of. Its really difficult. I don’t know anyone who has an easy time breaking it off with a long time friend or family member, I know i’ve found it near impossible. But I think he’s very heavily influenced by these close connections because he doesn’t want to lose them. I understand that getting involved in the drama is fun, and I’ve been there for sure up until even two ays ago i was still there, but now that I understand that what he’s going through is also tough, i’ve also realised that I need to have more empathy for the guy outside of readings too. It’s not nice to be in the place that he is. Ive been there I get what kind of person it turns you into. And it’s a huge turning point in your life aswell, you either let it consume you or you do your best to break free. He’s at a crossroads, i’ve said it before. Lets hope he goes down the path that’s best for him. All in all, I think people have a right to be upset, they’ve invested alot of time into the guy and got nothing back. I also think with that post yesterday that he’s actually trying his best. I don’t think its easy for him to self reflect, he’s not going to apologise for NV, she is his companion for now, he’s got some serious issues surrounding being loved/lonely, he’s not going to do anything to make her leave until he’s ok with finding someone else, which i feel like he’s kind of given up on at the moment? But he’s also still trying to juggle all these things in his life and his own mental health and the constant judgement doesn’t make that better. When people are loved and supported they’re the best version of themselves, right now he’s not being loved or supported. In fact he’s being hated by thousands of people, that’s going to take a toll on you. But to me, idk what it is, but it feels like he’s trying to mend things to be the best of his ability. (And his ability is still pretty poor in execution, and to be fair him talking about fucking protien shakes is more boring than paint drying and he should absolutely be dragged for that 😆 ) But it feels like a positive move. The level that the dragging is being taken is starting to turn into something else, but this is also how people express themselves. You can be apart of it or not, the pages that allow it are a good venting system, and fans deserve to have that, but there aren’t many places for it to also just be understanding, so that’s what this page will be instead. (But once again, understanding isn’t creating excuses, and I won’t create excuses for him. He is still held accountable, but without the drag) Even with this all being said, he still needs to do better. I stand by that, and I think that’s what most of the fans are trying to say (they’re just a little big angrier than i am about it, and that’s ok) Anyway I’m doing part 2 today so we’ll see how it goes with Fans/the post etc

[rushingheadlong]

Losing My Way - A Queen Gen Fic

Summary: Brian is burning himself out trying to stay on top of all of his responsibilities. He knows it’s only a matter of time until something gives, and he knows that something will probably be his thesis - but that doesn’t make his failure any easier to stomach.

Wordcount: ~5,500

Tags/Warnings: H/C, angst, anxiety attacks, guilt, discussions of parental pressure and feeling like a failure

Notes: Companion fic to And I Get Afraid.  You don’t necessarily need to read that one first, but it may help to have the additional context. Given the events in Brian's life in 1974, this ended up being a fair bit more angsty than "And I Get Afraid" so please heed the tags on this! (Crossposted to AO3 here.)

“What does that mean?”

“It means he’s thinking of giving up on his thesis.”

Giving up.

There’s something ugly about those two words, some finality that Brian instinctively tries to shy away from, as if by dancing around the subject he can somehow make it less real. Setting it aside, he says instead, or, Taking a bit of a break, as if he would ever return to his thesis if he chose Queen now.

Brian still loves the stars and his research as much as he did when he first began his studies, but the truth of the matter is that he’s tired. Between the thesis and the band and working an actual job to pay the bills, Brian feels like he’s been running on fumes for months now. There are days when he doesn’t quite feel like a person, let alone anything approaching a functioning one, just a collection of static thoughts trapped in a body that’s running on autopilot, a machine that doesn’t know that it’s time to shut down.

There was stress, in the beginning, when Brian first realized that he was burning out, but it faded as the exhaustion set in and now the only thing Brian has left is his shame and guilt. It was born in his advisor’s office, when he had bluntly told Brian to focus on his thesis or stop wasting both of their time, and it grew every time Brian couldn’t stop one of his responsibilities from slipping through the cracks despite his efforts to stay afloat. Now it sits heavy on Brian’s chest, weighing him down until he feels stuck in place, and turning his thoughts back to that familiar darkness that’s haunted him his entire life.

He’s put so much time into his thesis already that it feels impossible to be standing here, on the verge of admitting that he’s failed, he’s not good enough, he can’t do it - but it feels even more impossible to give up Queen. The band doesn’t come with a guarantee of financial security, or long-term stability, or any of the things that his father tells him that he should aspire to have… but the band comes with the only things that are still keeping Brian going these days.

His friends. Their music. The moments of fleeting joy when he can create things and be a part of something more than himself, better than himself, instead of the waste of time and space that he feels like most days. Instead of the disappointing son that he’s grown into despite his father’s sacrifices and wishes for him.

“One show, that’s all I’m asking for, a single show in the next week or two just to keep our name out there, and then I’m fine waiting until summer!” Roger is saying to Freddie, after John leaves for class and as Brian slowly packs away his Red Lady with fumbling hands that don’t seem to want to cooperate with him. “You don’t even have to handle the booking, I’ll do it myself!”

Confidence in Queen comes easy to Roger, and to Freddie as well, but it does not come easy to Brian. Brian has to work to stay optimistic, has to fight for every scrap of faith that things will work out for them - because he only has faith in them. Not in himself, not anymore.

Maybe that’s the real reason he’s choosing Queen. Not because it’s the right choice to make, but because despite the struggles it’s still far easier to sink what little energy he has left into the band when Queen has three other people fighting to keep her afloat, instead of into his thesis where Brian has to rely on himself alone to carve out every inch of progress that he can. But there’s still a cold voice in the back of Brian’s mind that tells him that he’s taking the easy way out, that he’s being foolish, that he’s almost 26 now and shouldn’t he be setting aside these childish dreams already?

It’s a voice that has sent Brian down into more than one panicked spiral, late at night when he’s too anxious to sleep but too tired to keep working, when his thoughts race with a thousand directions, full of calculations of how much time he’s sunk into his thesis, into the band, into everything he’s already failed at and everything he could still fail at if he’s not careful. And it’s a voice that only gets colder every time Brian gives more consideration to the possibility of giving up on his thesis-

Not giving up.

Setting aside. Taking a break.

Freddie, unphased by Roger’s enthusiasm and unaware of the way that Brian’s heart has started to race uncomfortably in his chest, just snorts in amusement and slings an arm around Roger’s shoulders. “We’ll figure something out, Rog, don’t worry, but apart from John’s upcoming exams, we don’t even know what everyone’s schedules are like yet.”

“By everyone you mean Brian,” Roger says, and he twists around and calls back to Brian, “Hey! What’s your schedule like for the next few weeks?”

Brian’s ears are ringing, loud enough to drown out the sound of Freddie’s laughter and whatever chiding response he gives to Roger, and Brian can feel his face grow hot with embarrassment. “Busy,” he mumbles as he closes the latches on his guitar case, praying that his friends don’t notice the way his hands are shaking.

“Busy? That’s all you can give us?” Roger teases. “We’re trying to plan our rockstar career here, and all you can say is that you’re busy?”

Roger is joking, Brian knows that he is, but they’re words that hit their mark a little too well, sting a little more than they should. Brian said that he’d take the summer to fully commit to either his thesis or with Queen, but in the meantime he’s doing both a disservice. He’s holding the band back and wasting his advisor’s time, and half-assing everything that lands on his plate because he’s stretched too thin and scared of letting go of the things he knows that he can’t do. He keeps thinking that, maybe, if he tries a bit harder, works a bit longer, puts in a few more hours, he can somehow make it all work without having to let anyone down - but that hasn’t worked out for him so far.

“Give him a break, Roger, you know he’s juggling more than the rest of us combined,” Freddie says. “Speaking of which, you really should come out with us tonight, Brian dear. Rog and I are getting drinks, and you deserve a night off more than we do!”

Does he? Brian is fairly certain that he hasn’t done anything to justify slacking off, no matter how nice a night out with his friends sounds right now. He’s drowning in half-finished projects and broken promises, and as he starts to shake his head he can see Freddie’s smile dim in disappointment - and Brian’s stomach sinks, because no matter what he does he always seems to be letting someone down.

“Please, Brimi?” Freddie asks, a little softer. “It’s been ages since you’ve gone out with us.”

Brian’s breath hitches as the force of Freddie’s pleading hits him and he finds himself stammering, “I- I have to drop off my guitar…”

It’s not a no, but it’s not really a yes either - but that doesn’t stop Roger from giving a loud, celebratory whoop and Freddie from beaming at him and saying, “Not a problem, darling, we’ll walk with you back to your place and then hit the pub from there!”

“I… Well I mean...” Brian tries to backpedal as Freddie and Roger start shepherding him out of their practice studio and into the too-bright afternoon sun. He doesn’t want to disappoint them, can’t stomach the thought of ruining their excitement now, but the voice in the back of his mind is reminding him of his thesis and the work he was supposed to get done tonight, and he has to hold himself rigid to stop his entire body from shaking with anxiety.

“You two go ahead, I’m gonna smoke and then I’ll meet you at the pub,” Roger says as he pulls out his cigarettes.

“Whoever gets there first grabs the first round?” Freddie suggests, and Roger shrugs in agreement before ducking around the corner of the building.

“Well then, we’ll just have to take our time getting there, won’t we?” Freddie says, winking at Brian, and he starts walking off down the street. It takes Brian a moment to remember how his legs work and he stumbles over his feet, causing his guitar case to bang against his leg, as he hurries to catches up.

“I don’t know why Roger’s so concerned about booking a show right now,” Freddie says as they walk, and Brian’s stomach sinks as he realizes that he’s going to be trapped in a conversation about the one thing he doesn’t want to keep thinking about. “I mean, once our album is released we’ll be right back in the spotlight! And with John now graduating we can do a proper tour this fall - well, assuming you decide give up your thesis, that is.”

“Set aside,” Brian mumbles, and it takes far too much effort to force out even those two words. His tongue feels like a useless weight and he thinks his throat is closing up, until he swallows and feels that it isn’t.

If Freddie hears Brian’s correction he doesn’t acknowledge it. “And we nearly have enough new material for a second album, which the studio has already promised to let us record once they find a label willing to release our work. That’ll be more than enough to keep us busy for a while, I should think.”

Busy. Freddie says that like it’s a good thing, and Brian can see how it would be but… god, he’s so tired and the thought of giving up (setting aside) his thesis only to have more obligations piled on his plate makes his chest tight with anxiety. He takes a deep breath, just to remind himself that he still can, and realizes with a start that they’ve somehow already arrived at Brian’s flat without him noticing.

Keys. That’s the next step here, but Brian drops them as he pulls them out of his pocket. He stares at them on the ground for a moment and Freddie leans down to pick them up before Brian can get his body cooperating with him again.

“Tired, dear?” Freddie says lightly, teasingly, but the joke falls flat when he opens the door and takes a step inside. “Oh…”

Brian knows what it looks like. Papers and textbooks are scattered everywhere, half-empty cups of tea abandoned across the room, dirty clothes trailing out of his bedroom because his laundry hamper is full but he hasn’t had time to wash anything recently. Something smells vaguely off and Brian doesn’t know if it’s the trash or just the general grime that’s built up around Brian’s life when he was too busy to keep on top of things. The only thing he’s sure about is that it’s not a forgotten plate of food that’s gone bad, because Brian can’t actually remember the last time he ate something at home instead of forcing down something between errands and obligations.

Freddie, carefully, picks his way over to the small table shoved in the corner where Brian spends most of his free hours. It too is covered in papers filled with indecipherable notes, song lyrics that trail off into equations, half-formed paragraphs for his thesis morphing into chord progressions, a chaos of ideas exploding off the page with no rhyme or reason to any of it. Brian knows that, realistically, very little of that is actually usable but he still hesitates to throw any of it away, just in case one of those scraps contains some important answer that he can use as a lifeline to pull himself out of this mess.

Freddie brushes his fingers along the top of the mess of papers, and glances up at Brian. His face is carefully neutral but he can’t hide the worry in his voice as he asks, “Brian, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Brian says, or at least that’s what he wants to say. He gets the first syllable out but the fine gets caught in his throat, and he tries to take a deep breath to try again but all he manages is a hitching gasp and there’s not enough oxygen in his lungs anymore and he can’t breathe, god, he can’t breathe-

His guitar case hits the floor with a low thud that Brian barely hears over the blood pounding in his ears and his own desperate, ragged breaths as he tries desperately to pull enough air into his body. He’s had panic attacks before but never as bad as this - or maybe this one just seems worse because Freddie is there, bearing witness to Brian’s breakdown with wide, worried eyes.

Brian is shaking and spots are dancing in front of his eyes and his heart is racing in his chest and no matter how much he gasps he’s not getting enough air. He’s dizzy and disoriented and he feels like he’s going to die, he’s going to die in his shitty flat in front of one of his best friends because he’s a failure and a disappointment and can’t do anything right, not even something as simple as calming himself down because try as he might he can’t stop this. He can’t stop the waves of panic, he can’t stop gasping and choking on every breath, he can’t bring himself back under control now the dam has been broken.

And then Freddie is there, gently gripping Brian’s arms and leading him over to the couch and Brian collapses into, bringing Freddie down with him because at some point - he doesn’t remember how or when - he grabbed a fistful of Freddie’s shirt and he doesn’t know how to make himself let go now.

Freddie is talking to him in a low, soft voice but Brian can’t make out what he’s saying - or at least, his panic-struck brain doesn’t want to make sense of the words. He can feel Freddie’s chest rising and falling underneath his hand, though, and at first he just focuses on that to keep him grounded when it feels like he’s losing sense of his entire body. It’s only after what feels like a small eternity that he realizes that he’s unconsciously matched his breathing to Freddie’s, and that the tightness in his chest has started to disappear.

It takes longer for the dizziness to fade and the shaking to stop and for Brian’s breathing to even out completely. Freddie stops talking at some point but he doesn’t leave. He keeps rubbing gently along Brian’s arms, grounding him with his presence, until Brian thinks his voice has returned enough to try talking again.

“S-sorry,” he stammers, and there’s more he wants to say, more that he tries to say, but all that keeps coming out is, “Sorry. Sorry-”

“Hush, Brian, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for,” Freddie says firmly. He reaches towards Brian and gently swipes at his cheeks and - oh. Brian must have been crying. He didn’t notice that. “You should drink something. I’ll get you a glass of water,” Freddie says.

Brian nods. “Please,” he manages to say. It takes him a moment to realize that this means he has to let go of Freddie, and another moment to get his hand to cooperate enough that he can release Freddie’s shirt.

Freddie leaves the room, and returns with the promised glass of water what seems like only seconds later - though time seems to be moving strangely for Brian, and he has no idea how long Freddie was actually gone. He takes a small sip of the water, grateful for the way it soothes his throat and grateful for Freddie’s steady presence at his side, even if the cold voice in the back of his mind tells him that he should be ashamed at falling apart in front of his friend.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Freddie asks softly, after what Brian thinks is several minutes- but could be seconds or hours of silence between the friends, for all he knows.

Brian thinks about that for a moment before nodding. He does want to talk about it, but it’s a struggle to find the words - or any words at all, for that matter. All he knows is that he should start at the beginning but where does this mess even start? When Brian first realized he was burning out? With that conversation with his advisor? Or earlier than even that, when Brian stubbornly stuck with Smile - and later Queen - despite his father’s warnings to drop the band?

Does it go back further to his very childhood, to when he was a young child already torn between looking up at the stars and down at the guitar in his hands, already pressured to do more, be more, to make his father proud, but not yet knowing how herculean of a task that would be?

“My thesis,” Brian says at last, and Freddie gives him the space he needs to form the rest of that thought. “I have to gi- set aside my thesis.”

“You said that was a possibility earlier, yes. But…” Freddie cocks his head and studies Brian for a moment as he chooses his next words with care. “Well, darling, isn’t that a good thing? A sign that the band is going places? Isn’t that what we always wanted?”

“No,” Brian says immediately, but that’s wrong and he quickly backtracks, “Yes! I mean, it is, but I have to- have to make it official now. Tell people that I’m stopping. My advisor. My- my parents. My dad…”

Brian’s voice cracks a little on that last word and Freddie’s face softens in understanding. “Oh, Brian…”

Brian doesn’t talk much about his family, but he’s certainly vented to his friends about his father’s expectations for him once or twice before, enough that Freddie knows the implications of what Brian is saying - but now that Brian has found his voice again he finds that he can’t stop talking, can’t stop explaining even though he knows that it’s not necessary. “All he wanted was for me to make something of myself. To have a stable life, to be able to provide for a family, and now I’m- I’m throwing that all away! All his hard work, everything his sacrificed to give me this opportunity, and I’m just going to give it all up!”

“You don’t have to,” Freddie cuts in gently. “You can still finish your thesis, Brian. We’ll wait for you, as long as you need-”

“I can’t,” Brian interrupts, louder, faster, unable to stay calm or rational now that he’s started pouring out everything he’s been holding inside for so long now. “I can’t keep working on the thesis and holding down my job and playing with the band. It’s- it’s too much, and I’ve tried to make it work, god, I’ve tried so, so hard to make it all work but I can’t do it, I can’t-”

Freddie takes the glass of water away from Brian and then grabs his hands, and says, “Brian, darling, please, you need to calm down or you’ll get yourself worked up again. Just take a few breaths for me, can you do that?”

Brian tries, and the first inhale is shallow and a little too fast and he almost panics again. Freddie squeezes his hands and rubs his thumbs along the backs of them, and Brian tries a second breath and that one comes a little easier, and slowly Brian starts to calm down again.

Freddie doesn’t push him to keep talking but Brian wants to, needs to, and after a few moments, when he thinks he’s ready to try again, Brian says, “I’m- I’m tired, Fred. I need to take something off my plate and it can’t be the band, because that’s about the only thing-”

He cuts off before he can say the first words that come to mind: stopping me from killing myself. Because he would never - or at least, he doesn’t think he would ever - and he doesn’t need to add that to the worry that he knows Freddie is already feeling for him. “Queen is one of the few things that makes me happy, these days. It may be stupid, but I can’t give that up.”

“It’s not stupid, darling,” Freddie says without hesitating. “You have to hold tight to the things that bring you joy.”

“That’s not what my dad would say.”

Freddie bites his lip and, for a moment, Brian thinks he isn’t going to say anything at all. But Freddie has never been one to stay silent when his friends are hurting, and after a few seconds he carefully says, “I’ve never met your dad. I only know the things you’ve told us about him. But he helped you build your guitar, didn’t he? That has to count for something.”

“I don’t think it does,” Brian says. It’s the truth that he’s known for a while now, the source of every bickering argument they’ve had the last few times he’s gone home, but now that Brian has admitted it aloud he’s almost surprised by how much it hurts to really accept that.

“I think…” Freddie says slowly, “that even when our parents don’t understand our choices, they just want us to be happy. Maybe your dad thinks you can only find happiness with a proper job and a steady paycheck but that’s not true. And I think you know that that’s not true.”

Brian looks away from Freddie and down at his hands, which Freddie is still holding. “I wouldn’t be thinking of setting aside my thesis if I didn’t know that was true,” he mutters, and Freddie chuckles a little at that.

“Fair enough,” Freddie concedes. “But, Brian, darling… you can’t spend your entire life trying to please other people. At some point you have to start living for yourself, and if staying with Queen is what makes you happy then I think your dad will understand that, in time.”

Brian isn’t sure of that but he’s not particularly keen on having Freddie keep trying to convince him of this point tonight. He knows what inevitable end he’s quickly approaching, and he doesn’t want to spend more time considering what the fall out from setting aside his thesis will be.

“Yeah, I guess,” Brian mumbles instead, and before Freddie can try to force the issue Brian clears his throat and adds, “Well. I suppose we should get going to meet up with Roger, shouldn’t we?”

Freddie sighs, like he knows that Brian is trying to change the subject - though, granted, his attempt was rather blunt and hard to miss. “We don’t have to go out if you’re not feeling up to it, dear.”

Brian would be embarrassed about Freddie offering to cancel their plans like that, if he had enough energy to be anything except tired. He looks up and around at his apartment - at the mess and the grime and the evidence of the breakdown that started far before it peaked this afternoon - and after a moment he admits, “I don’t think I want to stay here right now.”

“Alright,” Freddie says easily. “We’ll go meet up with Roger then. You can spend the night at ours too, if you want.”

“Alright,” Brian echoes. He still feels tired but his chest doesn’t ache, and when Freddie pulls him to his feet he doesn’t feel as dizzy as he was expecting. He takes one last look at the disaster covering every inch of his living space, at the piles of work and obligations that he should be taking care of - and then he walks outside with Freddie, and leaves it all behind.

Fifteen months later...

“...so we’re thinking of making a bit of a medley out of the three songs. It sounds quite lovely so far, but I think you need to give it a listen before we really commit to this plan. I’ll see about bringing a tape in and… Brian?”

“Hm? Sorry, sorry…” Brian shakes his head and brings his attention back to Freddie, who’s sitting in the chair next to Brian’s hospital bed. Roger and John had stopped by in the morning before going into the studio to work out some rhythm section but Freddie was the only one keeping Brian company now, even though he probably has better things to be doing.

Stop that, he tells himself as soon as he thinks that thought. Freddie, Roger, and John have all reassured him time and time again that they aren’t replacing him in the band, and Brian has to believe that - if only because he doesn’t want to know what the stress of worrying about that will do to his invalid body.

“Nothing to apologize for, darling,” Freddie assures him. “Are you tired? I can leave if you want…”

“No! No, please stay,” Brian tells him. “God knows I don’t have any visitors except you three.”

Freddie’s easy smile fades slightly, and Brian already knows what he’s going to say a split-second before Freddie asks, “Have you heard from…?”

“My mum called and we talked for awhile, yeah.”

“And your dad?”

Brian gives a half-hearted shrug and looks down at his hands. His nails are bitten short and his cuticles are in tatters, and he thinks about asking Freddie to bring white nail polish with him next time as he says, “No. But my mum’s probably filled him in and it’s not like either of them have the time to come down, especially now that I’m on the mend.”

They didn’t come down to London during his bout of hepatitis either, but Brian wasn’t allowed visitors in the hospital then and afterwards he dove straight back into recording. And, maybe, they could have come down when he went into surgery for the ulcer but it had all happened so quickly that by the time someone had thought to contact them he was already out of the operating room and arguably through the worst of it.

There’s a lot of maybe’s in Brian’s relationship with his parents these days, but there’s one thing that he knows for sure: His father still has no interest in speaking to him.

And Brian doesn’t have much interest in reaching out to his father either.

“Do you think he’ll come around soon?” Freddie asks softly.

Brian looks up at him again, somewhat surprised by the question. He had expected the singer to lash out about Brian’s father or else launch into some reassurance that this will blow over soon enough, like he had every time this had come up in the past. Instead he seems thoughtful, almost withdrawn, in a way that sets off alarm bells in the back of Brian’s mind.

“No,” Brian says. It’s the truth, but one that he wishes he didn’t have to confess to his friend.

Freddie spent most of the previous summer reassuring Brian over and over again that his father would eventually understand. He helped Brian carve out some free time in his schedule again and helped him through the moments when Brian’s stress and fear still overwhelmed him anyway… but part of Brian always knew that this is where his relationship with his father would end up. It was inevitable, no matter how much he may have hoped otherwise - and no matter what Freddie clearly believed at the time.

Freddie nods like he was expecting that answer. Brian wonders if Freddie is also thinking of those conversations that they had last summer, and all the reassurances he had given Brian that ended up being empty platitudes, and he has his answer when Freddie says, “I feel like I should be apologizing to you, even though I know that’s ridiculous.”

“It is ridiculous,” Brian agrees. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Fred.”

“I know that, darling,” Freddie says quickly. “And I’m not really sorry anyway, because I’m glad that you chose to stick with Queen and I’ve meant it every time I’ve told you that we need you in the band - that we want you with us, no matter what happens. Maybe that makes me selfish, I don’t really know.”

He gives a dismissive wave of his hand and Brian smiles at the gesture, despite the seriousness of the conversation. “If it’s selfish, it’s a good sort of selfishness I think,” Brian tells him.

“If you say so,” Freddie says, but he doesn’t quite sound convinced.

Brian sighs and tries to sit up a bit more so he can have this conversation properly - but he moves too quickly and puts too much stress on his still-healing surgical scar. He groans and collapses back against his pillows and Freddie immediately jumps to his feet in alarm.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Brian assures him, though his scar still aches with residual pain. “Just moved a bit wrong, that’s all.”

“No, you’re not!” Freddie snaps, and the sudden anger catches Brian by surprise. “You’re in the hospital for the second time this year, for god’s sake! You got sick on tour, you’ve now had surgery because the stress of Queen made everything worse and your family isn’t here with you and-”

Freddie collapses back down on the chair, burying his face in his hands, and his next words come out softer and slightly muffled. “I spent all of last summer reassuring you that things would work out fine once the band got off the ground and they haven’t been fine. Not for you, at least.”

The guilt in Freddie’s voice is a shock to hear and Brian’s instinct is to respond with the first words of comfort that come to mind, no matter what they might be - but after everything Freddie has done for him over the last few months, he deserves better than that. Brian takes a moment to really consider what he needs Freddie to hear, before he finally says, “I always knew I’d end up here, though.”

Freddie looks up at Brian in confusion and disbelief. “You knew you’d end up in the hospital?” he asks skeptically.

Brian laughs and does his best to hide his wince when his scar throbs with pain again. “Well, no, that part was a bit of a surprise,” he admits. “But the doctors said that the ulcer was a ticking time bomb, so that at least was always going to be a problem even if I didn’t know about it before. But nothing that happened with my dad was much of a surprise.”

“Why didn’t you say something, then?” Freddie asks.

“Because I didn’t want to think about it,” Brian says. “If I thought about it too much I’d let it influence my decisions, and you were right when you said that I needed to do what made me the most happy. And Queen makes me happy. You and Roger and John, you all make me happy - more than fighting for recognition in academia ever would have.”

“But your dad-”

“Doesn’t have to live my life,” Brian interrupts. “Freddie, I’m not going to lie to you. I still want his approval, of course I do. But I’m done sacrificing my dreams for him. And if that means that we aren’t speaking for a little while…” Brian shrugs, and swallows down a lump in his throat. “Then that’s how it has to be, I suppose.”

There’s a beat of silence from Freddie before he admits, “I wish, for your sake, that it didn’t have to be like that, though.”

“I mean, I wish that too,” Brian says with a careful huff of laughter. “But it’s not your responsibility to make things perfect for me. Whether my dad comes around or not, well, that’s his choice. And Queen is mine.”

Freddie smiles a little crookedly at Brian, and Brian is relieved to see that the misplaced guilt is gone from his eyes. “You know, you really are amazing, Brian May.”

Brian shakes his head. “I’m really not. I’m just…”

He’s in pain, and he’s afraid that he’ll never get better and he’ll always be sick and in pain. He’s worried for the future of Queen with their tour plans for September cancelled and he feels guilty that he can’t help with the new album like he should. He’s angry at his dad, and scared that he’ll always be angry, and scared that his dad will never accept Brian’s choices no matter what he does. And he’s stressed, about his health and his dad and the band, until it feels almost as overwhelming as it did a year ago and he almost feels that panic starting to building in his chest again.

He’s not amazing. He’s just human, fragile and flawed and moving forward despite it all anyway.

“I’m just trying my best,” Brian says at last.

Freddie’s grin brightens, just a little bit, as he says, “Aren’t we all, darling?”

They all are, that’s certainly true - but it’s a truth that Brian couldn’t see a year ago, when his best didn’t feel like nearly enough, when his anxiety and stress and shame only let him see his perceived failures and not the achievements he managed to gain. It’s a truth that he’s only been able to see with the clarity that comes from rejection and loss, from losing a dad but gaining a family in Queen - and it’s a truth that only strengthens Brian’s convictions that, despite everything, he has made the right choices in his life.

“Yeah,” Brian agrees softly. “I suppose we are.”

[skekzok-the-ritual-master]

Out Of Character Questions

ROLEPLAYER GET TO KNOW YOU PROMPT

Tagged by: @hedonistschambers

Tagging: @ask-skeksa-the-mariner, @allpowerfulemperor, @asktheornamentalist, @askurva-thearcher, and anyone else who wants to :)

OOC About Your Character(s)

1.     What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)?

I used to RP on Tumblr a lot in the Megamind fandom, and seeing other Dark Crystal RPers on here made me want to try getting back into RP a little. Since I don’t have any Dark Crystal OCs who lend themselves well to RP, I decided to go with a canon character, and skekZok was a prominent one who hadn’t gotten a blog yet. I’ve always liked looking at characters and thinking about what makes them tick, so this gives me a fun chance to do that for him.  

2.     Describe your character(s) with three words.

Cultured | Sadistic | Hypocritical 

3.     What made you decide to write this muse?

I’d been following the blogs of a few other Skeksis RPers, and the absence of Zok had been remarked on. Since he’s one of my favorites, I decided to make a blog for him and join in the fun.

4.     If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

That’s a tough one, because Zok really doesn’t suffer that much in canon compared to other characters. I might stop ZokZah from trying to burn out part of his soul, but skekZok wouldn’t exist and there wouldn’t be much of a story if I did that. (If we include the JM Lee novels, I’d change it so he doesn’t throw skekSa under the bus.)

5.     If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

“Don’t stab the blonde Gelfling girl. It won’t prevent the prophecy, and she’ll just come back to life anyway.”

6.     If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them?

I’d love to see his reaction to a Swiss Army knife.

7.     If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away?

I’m not sure how positive this is, but I’d take away his ability to believe his own lies. It would be interesting to see how he tries to juggle all the conflicting rules and stories he’s come up with over the centuries. 

8.     If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?

His talent for speaking in public. I wish I could command an audience like he does.

9.     Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

Considering the kind of things that tend to make Zok happy? Maybe. As for what would make him happiest, he believes it would be achieving immortality and remaining one of the highest-ranked of the court and having skekSa as his permanent mate, but that still won’t heal the spiritual emptiness inside him. Much as I enjoy Zok and Zah as separate beings, I do think reunification was the best thing for them. If he and SaSan could have been together after that, that would have been even better.

10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most?

I don’t mind angst in small doses, as long as I plot it out with the other player(s) beforehand and we agree how it will turn out in the end. Zok doesn’t lend himself easily to angst, but losing his place in the court hierarchy or having one of his allies turn on him would do it. He’s also come to genuinely believe the mythology he’s invented over the centuries -- anything that seriously challenged that worldview would be hard for him to deal with. 

11. What do you love about your muse?

A lot of things. His charisma, his striking blue eyes, the way his voice is deeper and smoother than most of the other Skeksis, how over-the-top his gold outfit is, how he’s so attached to his headdress that he doesn’t even take it off in the spa, how unrepentantly creepy and sadistic he is -- he’s a very enjoyable character, even if he is a horrible birb.

12. What do you hate about your muse?

He's not an easy character to have interact with everyone. He can pretend to be nice when it suits him, and he’s not totally incapable of caring about people, but he’s still nasty enough that I can tell in advance a lot of interactions wouldn’t go well. 

13. What about your muse amuses you?

The contrast between the austere image he tries to keep up, and how frazzled he gets when something upsets that image (”MY CARRIAGE!”). Also when he gets sarcastic or looks down on the others when they act in a less-than-civilized way. 

14. What about your muse makes you sad?

All the people he’s hurt, and how unwilling he is to see that his way of life isn’t sustainable and won’t truly make him happy in the end.

15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time?

“This guy is a creep, but he believes in good manners. Tread lightly, and you should be okay.”

16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life?

LOL no. He’s an awful person who is best left in the realm of fiction.

17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you?

I like to think I’m a much nicer person than he is. I can be blunt and a bit of a troll sometimes, but I really don’t like hurting anyone, or trying to force people to do stuff they don’t like. As for Zok, he’s much more confident and well-spoken than I am, and he’s had the determination to stick with one job for a thousand years. 

18. Why do you think you connect to your muse?

We’re both interested in culture, myth, and history, and feel better when we can assign some order to the world around us. 

19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

As I see it, the core of Zok’s character is that he wants to bring order to the world; that’s why his job title is ‘Ritual Master’ rather than ‘High Priest’ or something more overtly religious. If he can’t see an obvious reason why things are the way they are, he’ll invent one that makes sense to him (and serves his needs). 

I think this is what Zok sees as his most important trait too -- in his mind, he took a bunch of feral newborn creatures who (by all rights) were never meant to have existed in the first place, and helped turn them into a civilized, godlike people who rule an entire planet. But that feral nature is always under the surface, and they still need ritual and order (and yes, punishment) to keep it in check. 

20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed?

I haven’t been playing Zok for very long, but I’ve recently had a chance to write how he feels about deeper questions, like what it would mean for Skeksis to have children, and what happens to Skeksis and urRu souls after they die. I think it’s made him a bit more three-dimensional. 

About You!

1.     What is your name?

Kate, a.k.a. Crow or Lady Stormcrow

2.     What is your profession?

Social worker, currently working in substance abuse treatment.

3.     What do you do to relax?

Watch favorite TV shows, play video games, listen to music, hang out outdoors, chat online. 

4.     What is your favorite treat (desert)?

I have a big weakness for flan and other custard desserts. Also caramel.

5.     Favorite movie

Amadeus (1984).

6.     Favorite book

Good Omens (and yes I loved the series too). 

7.     Favorite vacation spot

Grand Cayman. We were supposed to visit again this spring, but COVID happened.

8.     Favorite Disney movie

I’m not sure I have one favorite, but I love Fantasia and The Rescuers.

9.     How did you first get into role playing?

Almost 20 years ago, lol. When I first started going online in high school, I made an online friend ( @ksclaw ) who introduced me to the concept. We played interactions with our SWAT Kats fan characters, and she helped me get the hang of it.

10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr?

It was Livejournal. I discovered Tumblr in late 2011 after my friends in the Megamind fandom introduced me to it, and most of us migrated here from our old LJ community. I loved being able to reblog whatever struck my fancy, and while my interest has waxed and waned, as you can see I’m still here.

11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

I like to think I have pretty good grammar. I know I’m guilty of run-on sentences, though, and I overuse ellipses and mix up ; and -- far too much. 

12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Not really. I can speak and understand a little Spanish and French, but not enough to write anything meaningful, and I’m wary of translation software for anything beyond a short sentence. Sorry!

13. Do you listen to music while your write?

Sometimes. Usually not when I’m doing the actual writing (that’s distracting, and I like to hear the words in my head), but I’ll listen to it beforehand to get myself in a mood or get some inspiration.

14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Late morning after I’ve had my coffee is usually my best time. Unfortunately I’m usually at work during that time, but on slow days and weekends I try to take advantage of it.

15. How does tiredness affect your writing?

It turns me into a zombie who can dream but cannot actually write.

16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Lack of motivation. I daydream and imagine stuff easily enough, but putting it down into writing is much harder, especially when I’m braindead from work.

17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

More than 5 is daunting, though fortunately Zok hasn’t gotten that many yet.

18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand?

Players who are unwilling to have their characters be in the wrong, or who get upset if my character doesn’t react the way they wanted. Not all interactions are going to be smooth and happy, and I’m fine with that. Your character is not you, just like mine is not me.

19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?

Weird ones. I like having my muses react to them.

20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?

Fluff is kind of tricky. I don’t have trouble imagining it, but I get paralyzed thinking “this is too indulgent, I shouldn’t publish it, no one but me will like it, etc.” Maybe that’s part of why Zok appeals to me, because he’s not the fluffy type. 

[gold-from-straw]

Zero Degrees 2

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you prefer! I’ll also tag anyone from the notes of this chapter in my next post, I hope that’s OK! Otherwise it’s so damn hard to find posts...

"Wow, your car is amazing," Njala said as Mum pressed the key fob.

"Thanks," she laughed. "Get in, then. Bhaya will have to go on her dad's lap, but you guys can all fit in the back. Shopping bags in the boot first."

Even Teli stared around the car when they climbed in and Mum started the engine. Njala was stroking the leather and pulling open every pocket and storage area he could find, chattering away at high speed and pointing them out to his big brother. Teli directed Mum down Parklands Road, just past the giant white model of a lotus flower outside the Raja Yoga centre.

"There it is," he said, pointing to a mustard yellow block of flats. Mum pulled off the road onto the dirt driveway and waited at the black gate for the askari to let them in, while Erika stared open-mouthed and tried very hard not to judge.

The thing was, they went to a private school. Erika's family didn't consider themselves particularly wealthy - comfortably middle class, maybe, but there were other kids in Erika's class who lived in mansions and got five thousand shillings pocket money every month. She wasn't stupid, she didn't think she was that naïve, and she was well aware of the vast inequalities in her country. All Kenyans knew how bad some people had it, and at least this place wasn't one of those shanties the city council would bulldoze and set on fire for kicks like they sometimes did in Kibera, but even so...

The building was seven storeys high, loomed over by skyscrapers, or building sites for skyscrapers. Grey water stains draped down the walls like grasping fingers, TV aerials stood crooked on the roof with wires sagging from them. Every window up to the top floor was barred, and no attempt had been made to twist the iron into something decorative. There was laundry hanging on wires in every balcony.

It was the kind of invisible place she saw every day from the bus window, stared at unseeing when stuck in Nairobi traffic jams. If she ever really thought about it, it was probably the kind of place their maid Florence lived in.

Njala waved to the askari while Teli climbed carefully out of the car with a sleeping Bhaya and beckoned them all upstairs. The stairwell smelled of fried fish and cabbage, and someone was washing the second floor landing with a broom, sluicing water across the concrete so that it dripped down to the steps below and made them precariously slippery.

Their flat was on the third floor, and as Teli juggled the keys into the heavy iron gate in front of the door, a young man opened it from inside and ran out, an apron still round his waist and arms soapy to the elbows. "Father, you're back early."

Of all the Hotokes, he looked the most… well, normal was probably an insulting word. But he was. He had a round, friendly face with the family's high cheekbones, curled black lashes and a warmth to his brown skin that none of the others shared. He really didn't look like Teli much at all. He looked like a younger version of Erika's dad, actually, and she couldn't help smiling back at him when he spied her and Mum behind his dad.

"Hello, new people."

"Hi, I'm Gloria, nice to meet you," Mum said, flashing her white teeth in her standard self-confident grin. "This is my daughter, Erika."

"I'm Ummah," he said, taking half of Mum's bags. "And is this the Erika?" He smirked at Frio, who rolled his eyes and ducked his head again. "Sorry, little brother. Come in, please."

"Is he really your dad?" Erika blurted, unable to stop her bad manners. “Sorry... but you don't really look alike - and Teli looks really young as well."

Teli smiled, a darkly amused thing. "I assure you, I am older than I look."

"What she really means is she thinks I'm old," Mum grumbled, smirking and nudging her.

They crowded into the tiny flat, Njala dumping his bags on the counter of the kitchenette and running off to one of the bedrooms. Erika caught sight of a double and a single mattress on the floor before the door shut. Ummah went back to the washing up. Mum beckoned Erika and Frio over to the kitchenette with her head and they started sorting out the items that had been damaged in the fall while Teli took Bhaya to another bedroom and lowered her onto the double mattress on the floor there. He stroked her curls with a sad little smile, then gathered the mosquito net around her and backed out, closing the door.

"What happened, Father?" asked Ummah.

"Loud noises. Shouting. The usual," he said wearily and joined the pair sorting the shopping out.

Ummah winced, his face scrunched up in pity as he looked over to his little sister. "Did she get far?"

Teli shook his head. "No. But she was distressed when I caught up to her. I… at first I do not think she recognised me."

Ummah turned in the small space and wrapped his wet arms around his father's waist. Teli pressed his nose to his son's hair and hugged him back, a slightly wobbly smile on his face. Erika pretended not to see him wipe his cheeks as they returned to their jobs.

"I do not think much of this flour is salvageable," he said, crinkling his nose up as he lifted a paper bag of Exe out, torn and slimy with egg.

"Have any of the eggs survived?" Mum asked.

"Five are unbroken, another three are cracked. They should be fine if we use them soon."

Ummah checked the clock. "I can buy more on my way back from my shift."

"You should not have to waste your wages on--"

"Shhh!" he said imperiously. "I will help you whenever I please, Father, you are a fool if you think any of us would not." He dried his hands off and leaned close to Mum, lowering his voice to a mock-whisper. "He thinks he does not need any help."

"Ummah!" snapped Teli, and the boy winked at Mum.

"I like this one," she laughed.

"That makes one of us," Teli grumbled.

"Well, I like me too, so I believe you are outvoted, Father. Now, I must go, or I shall be late." He picked up a battered backpack from the corner and threw his apron over the back of a chair.

"Ummah," called Teli as he got to the front door. He turned, eyebrows raised in question. Teli came round the counter and hugged him very tight. "I love you very much. And I like you quite a lot too."

"I love you too, Father," he said, a smile in his voice.

"Be safe."

"Always."

He locked the door as Ummah left, and stood by the window to wave at him. Erika heard the clunk of the main gate, and Teli turned back, pausing for a moment to brush his fingers along a small side table with a collection of odd items. A teddy bear, a long speckled feather and a collection of candles on a white cloth, which formed a U shape around a beautiful glowing crystal ball. It looked a little like one of those plasma balls she'd seen in physics lessons, just smaller, with a soft, almost sleepy light inside. She wished she knew where they'd got it from, it was beautiful.

Teli cleared his throat as he looked up at them, clenching his hand away from the objects. "You do not need to sort the shopping, really, you have been very kind."

"It's no trouble," Mum said cheerfully. "So how long have you guys lived here then?"

"Ah, well, nearly a year."

"Where were you before then, where are you all from?"

"North," he said with a vague smile, and turned around to throw some of the dirty packaging in the bin. Mum raised an eyebrow at him, but left it alone.

"What are we going to do with these eggs, Father?” Frio asked.

"You could make cupcakes," Erika said.

"Ah," Teli frowned. "I'm not sure I have a recipe for those."

"I could write one down for you," Mum offered. "Erika and I make cupcakes every week, practically, don't we?"

"Cupcakes?" Njala squeaked. Erika hadn't even noticed him sneak back in. "Are we having cupcakes?"

Teli sighed. "I suppose just this once..."

"Sorry," Mum grimaced.

"No, that's fine," he said. "They deserve a treat. After all, it has been a while."

"Can we stay and help you guys make them?" Erika asked, looking between the two parents. Frio immediately looked up at his dad as well, and Teli rolled his eyes.

"Very well. It is not as if I know how to make them myself."

Mum grinned at him. "I promise I won't let them make a mess. Where do you keep the sugar?"

"Sugar..." he grimaced. "Ah. Is that a necessity?"

Mum frowned at Erika, then back at him. "Uh, yeah, it's a pretty integral part of it."

"Ah."

"Oh, no," Njala moaned, and leaned his head on the counter. "I'm starving!"

"Well, I was planning to make pancakes."

"That's not the same." The little boy's words were muffled as he pressed his face against the wood.

"Hey, how about this," Mum suggested. "You guys can come over to ours one day and we'll make cupcakes and decorate them, does that sound good?"

Njala leaped up. "Really?"

"Could they come this weekend? On Saturday?" Erika asked, her hands pressed together under her chin. "Please?"

"If you're not busy, we haven't got anything on."

"Really, that is not necessary." Teli looked slightly lost. "Please do not feel obliged--"

"I don't," Mum frowned. "I don't do everything out of some obligation, Teli. I like having other people over. You don't have to come if you don't want to, but I'm genuinely offering." She shook her head. "Come on, Erika, we need to let these guys get on."

"Father," Frio grabbed his dad's wrist, and Teli rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I meant no offence," he said. "If you really don't mind..."

"No," she smiled, her voice still a bit exasperated. "I really don't, I wouldn't offer if I didn't think the kids would have a good time. Here, let me give you my address, we're only on Brookside Drive. Is Saturday OK?"

"I have work," Frio said softly.

"Sunday, then?"

He nodded and smiled through his braids at her. She scribbled their address and her phone number on a notes page in her schedule, then tore it out and handed it to Teli.

"Bye, Frio," Erika said as Teli let them out.

Frio waved at her and pushed the braids out of his face, tucking them behind his ear. "I'll see you tomorrow, Erika."

She followed her mum down the stairs, her shoes clattering on the concrete steps. The banisters were rough and cracked under her hands, shouts and music and a crying baby echoing about the stairwells from the other flats.

She and kept quiet until they were in the Range Rover. "Why do you think Teli's so weird, Mum?"

"I don't think he's weird,” Mum said, frowning a little. "Just awkward. Anyway, we'll see what happens on Sunday."

"How come they're so poor?"

"Erika!"

"No, really, Mum. I think all the boys share a bedroom, how can they even afford the school fees?"

She sighed and tapped her long nails on the steering wheel, but didn't answer. Erika looked out of the window as they pulled onto the Westlands roundabout yet again. "I felt kinda guilty that we've got all that stuff and they don't even have sugar."

"They might not have sugar because Teli's trying to keep them healthy."

"You know what I mean, though."

"Yeah," she said. "I know what you mean."

Thank you to @fullmetalcarer who liked and reblogged last week ^_^

[starletwriting]

8 + 9 for Killervibe please x

Deja Vu

Request: amnesia + secret relationship

Ship: Killervibe (Cisco Ramon x Caitlin Snow)

Characters: Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen, Iris West-Allen, Ralph Dibny

Word count: 5376

Notes: Thanks so much for the request!! Sorry it took me a bit to upload!! I hope you enjoy. Special thank you to @thatkillervibe for beta-reading and offering feedback!! This one shot doesn’t take place at any specific point on the show, but in my head I saw it as taking place post-season five, but in an au where Cisco doesn’t lose his powers in 5x22. 

Tags: @shakesqueer-writes @narniasfinestavengingsociopath

~~~

To say that tensions were high would be an understatement. To say that Team Flash was stressed would also be an understatement. They weren’t just stressed. They were at a stage of emotion that only led to hair-pulling and temper tantrums. There were two metahumans ganging up on Barry, another on Ralph, and another on Cisco. Iris was on comms, frantically trying to take control of the situation at hand. A four-person meta-gang would’ve been hard for them on any day, but it was even worse considering the fact that they were down a member. While every member of Team Flash was stressed down to their core, Cisco was taking it the worst of them all. After all, the member they were lacking just so happened to be the one Cisco knew best.

The metahuman facing Cisco let out a creepy giggle as she flicked her wrist, causing dark green superhuman vines to rise up through the pavement and wrap around Cisco’s legs. As his breathing quickened, he forced himself to stay calm, and instead tried opening a breach underneath him. However, to his dismay, the breach only faltered and faded out of existence the moment it touched the magical vines.

“Silly Vibe,” the villain cackled. It wasn’t the time, but Cisco mentally coined her as Green Goddess. “You thought that would work. But, as it turns out, there’s no escape. Nowhere to run to now.” 

“Uh, Iris, now would be a great time for those meta-cuffs.” Cisco huffed into his comms. “I can feel these vines getting tighter, and I really don’t wanna say goodbye to my legs today.” 

“If you haven’t noticed, Cisco, I’m a little busy at the moment!” was the reply he got.

Through his comms he could hear Barry panting as he exhausted himself trying to take on two metas at once, and Ralph saying “Ow ow ow ow ow!” repeatedly. He had no idea what was going on, as the four metas had separated them early on in the battle and now Cisco had no visuals on either of them, but he figured Iris was busy with whatever Ralph was up against. 

The vines surrounding his legs only squeezed tighter and tighter. Cisco gulped. That was definitely gonna bruise. 

After a moment, Iris’s voice returned to his comms. Whatever had just gone on, she was noticeably winded from it. She took a moment to catch her breath before muttering “Cisco, the extrapolator might be your best invention yet.” 

“Is that a yes on the meta-cuffs then?” 

Iris didn’t take the time to reply. Instead, she just opened a breach right behind Green Goddess and clasped the meta-cuffs on her before she had time to react. The shimmering blue breach closed behind Iris, who gave an exhausted-but-triumphant thumbs up to a now vines-free Cisco. Within seconds, a flash of lighting appeared in front of them and faded once as Barry came to a skidding halt, holding two metahumans in meta-cuffs. The second he stopped, he buckled over from sheer exhaustion, taking in huge gulps of air. 

“Cisco, do you think you could…” Barry made a weak gesture to indicate he meant a breach. “I don’t think I can run back to the lab. Not right now.” 

Cisco nodded, and formed a breach that engulfed all of them and brought them back to the lab. Ralph had already collapsed onto a chair, presumably from when Iris came and rescued him only moments before she came to Cisco’s aid. Once Barry took a moment to sit down and catch his breath, he was feeling better already, and he turned to Iris with a grin. 

“We did it.” Barry said, first to Iris, then repeating it to Ralph and Cisco. “We did it, guys.” 

“What, you think this is a win?” Cisco had already crashed into a chair and rolled up his pants legs up to his knees in an attempt to investigate the damage on his legs. “We would’ve been screwed if Iris hadn’t come and saved our asses. I can hardly stand up because of what that Green Goddess did to me.” 

“Hey, nice name.” 

“Do not change the subject, Ralph.” 

“Look, I get it! Does it look like I was playing around? I had two metas coming at me at once from different angles. Ralph got an electric shock to the chest. Iris was having to juggle all three of us.” Barry said. “All I’m saying is, it was hard, but we got through it. That’s celebratory.” 

“What, so we can just ignore the elephant in the room? You can’t live in denial forever, Barry.” 

“We’ve tried everything we can think of to get her back, Cisco, and nothing is working! What do you expect us to do?” 

“So what, we’re just supposed to give up on her? Turn our backs on our friend? All these years working with you, I never thought you were a quitter!” 

“Barry, Cisco!” Iris intervened before the argument got worse. “We all miss Caitlin. We’re all a little tense. I get it. But fighting isn’t going to help anyone.” 

They knew she was right. Barry and Cisco both sighed and backed down. 

“We’ve tried everything.” Barry spoke with a much calmer tone now. Instead of getting defensive, he instead sounded… regretful. “We tried tracking her kidnapper. We can’t get an identification on him because of his mask. We tried tracking his mask. Turns out it’s sold from pretty much every Halloween store in the city. We even tried tracking Caitlin’s cold signature. Nothing.”

“It’s hard when we know virtually nothing about the guy who took her.” Ralph pitched in. “I mean, I’ve had to drop many cases before because there just wasn’t enough to go off of.”

“This isn’t some random P.I. case, Ralph.” Cisco said. “This is Caitlin.” 

“I know, but he has a point.” Iris spoke with a sympathetic tone. “We know virtually nothing about her kidnapper. We know he was a meta. We know his powers have something to do with the mind. That’s… pretty much it.” 

Cisco bit his lip. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he knew they were right. What else could they possibly do? 

“Caitlin’s a strong girl. She’ll be able to hold her own until we can rescue her. She’ll be okay, I promise.” Barry’s words were meant to be reassuring, but somehow they only stung. 

I just don’t know if I can do this without her.

When Cisco looked around Star Labs, all he saw was memories of Caitlin. The time she worked late to help him with a project that he just couldn’t quite figure out. The time they spilled Big Belly Burger sauce in one of the computers and blamed Hartley. The time Cisco found Caitlin crying so he just read off a bunch of corny puns he found online until she laughed. The time they placed a bet on how much ice cream they could eat in one sitting and both got stomach aches afterwards. 

Cisco saw history in the walls. He recalled the day he realized that Caitlin was his best friend, and the day he realized she was so much more. Every nook and cranny of Star Labs was taunting him with memories- memories that brought a smile to his face, and memories that felt like blows to his already-sunken heart. 

Without Caitlin, Star Labs would never feel like home to him.

“I just need to get out of here. I’m going to Jitters.” 

“Are you sure your legs will be okay to walk?” 

Cisco stood up, and instantly regretted it. The pain came searing through his legs the second he applied pressure, which made it a hassle to even just stand up. And yet, Cisco decided he could live with it. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

Sure enough, he made it through. He breached to Jitters instead of driving to make it easier for him, but he made it nonetheless. He figured the pain would eventually wear off if he just pressed on through. Either that, or he’d just make it worse. Either one. 

He got in line and mentally decided on an order without having to look at the menu. You’d think Team Flash practically lived at Jitters with how often they met there for casual coffee chats, or just an early morning pick-me-up. 

The lady in front of him placed her order and moved on to find a table, and Cisco stepped up to the counter. He had opened his mouth in preparation to state his order, but the second he met the cashier’s eyes, everything stopped. He forgot his coffee order, his name… everything he had ever known. None of that mattered to him anymore, not after he saw her. 

Brown eyes, but not just any brown eyes. The most perfect brown eyes Cisco had ever seen in his life. They were the eyes that lit up with passion when she was talking about everything scientific, everything medical. They were the eyes that twinkled with fondness every time they met Cisco’s. They were the eyes that gave Cisco a playful glare whenever he made a bad joke, but also the eyes that sparkled with the laughter she was trying to keep in. They were the eyes that shined with the beauty of a thousand stars. Gentle, joyful, calming. Her gaze never failed to stir up the butterflies in Cisco’s stomach, and he never grew tired of the feeling. 

“Caitlin?!”

Caitlin blinked, clearly startled. She stared at Cisco for a short moment before speaking.

“I’m sorry. Who are you?” 

~~~

Her legs dangled off of the bed in the Star Labs medical bay. She looked around the place with a mixture of confusion and awe in her eyes, she met everyone’s gazes with an unfamiliar distant look. As everyone else stood around her, Cisco had gotten a chair and sat, fiddling with his thumbs and trying not to look at Caitlin. Just hearing her voice was painful enough. He knew that if he met her eyes and only saw her blank stare in return, his heart would shatter all over again.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“That’s the fourth time you guys have asked me that.”

“So that’s a no.” Ralph sighed. 

Barry turned to Cisco. “You said you saw her at Jitters?” 

Cisco nodded.

“Today was my third day on the job.” Caitlin said. “I had to get a new job, seeing as how I didn’t remember enough about who I am to show up to my last one. I’m assuming this is it, though?” 

“This is Star Labs.” Barry said. “You’re our bio-engineer, and resident doctor. Do you know your name?”

“Caitlin Snow. That’s what it said on my driver’s license.” Caitlin said. “When I woke up with no memory of who I was, that was the first thing I checked.”

“So, what exactly do you remember?” Barry asked. 

“Well, a few weeks ago I woke up in some abandoned warehouse with no memory of how I got there or who I was. I was alone. I know how to drive, but I don’t remember ever learning. I couldn’t tell you my name or age or anything about me, until I checked my wallet.”

“You had your wallet on you when you woke up?” Ralph asked. “You were kidnapped and abandoned, but he left your wallet?” 

“He didn’t want money.” Barry’s voice was solemn. Cisco recognized that look from when they were up against Devoe, or when Cicada had injured Nora. “He must’ve kidnapped Caitlin for a different reason.” 

“Kidnapped?” Caitlin raised an eyebrow. “That sounds intense.”  

“Caitlin,” Iris spoke with a gentle tone, careful not to overwhelm Caitlin. “Do you remember the warehouse you woke up in?”

Caitlin nodded. “I wrote down the address in case I needed to go to the police.” 

“Smart move.” Iris said. 

“Okay, then that’s our next move.” Barry decided. “Tomorrow, we go check out the warehouse and stop this meta once and for all.” 

Nods of agreement followed from Ralph, Cisco, and Iris.

“So then it’s settled.” Barry said. “I’ll head over to CCPD and fill Joe in on what’s happening. He can get CCPD on alert.” 

With that, he walked out of Star Labs.

~~~

The stars shimmered against the nighttime sky. Cisco leaned forwards against the balcony’s metal railing and stared up at the moon, his mind still racing from the events of that day. It was getting late, but Cisco was still at Star Labs. Just earlier that day, he couldn’t find it in him to stay, but now, he couldn’t find it in him to leave. 

He heard footsteps coming from the Star Labs lounge behind him, and turned around to see Caitlin walking up to him. She stepped with hesitation, as if silently asking permission to join him. Cisco nodded and stepped aside as if allowing room for her to stand next to him.

“I’m surprised you’re still here.” 

“I wanted to stay a bit longer.” Caitlin said. “It’s weird, but… I wanted to check out this place. I think part of me was secretly hoping that if I could explore this building, somehow it would help me remember something from my life.”

“Did it work?”

Caitlin shook her head. “It’s pointless.”

“That’s okay. Nobody expected you to get your memories back in one day.” 

She leaned her body against the railing and sighed. “There’s just so much I don’t understand. I’m so confused, and I know everything would make sense if I could just remember, but it’s… not that easy.”  

“What’re you confused on? I could try to explain.” 

“How did I end up in that abandoned warehouse? Why was I kidnapped? Why did they take me if not for money?” 

“Ah.” Cisco said. “That’s a bit of a long story, but I’ll try to put it simply. Do you know what a meta is?” 

Caitlin hesitated for a moment, as if trying to come up with an answer. “Sorry, but I don’t think I do.”

“That’s okay.” Cisco gave her a gentle, reassuring smile, and went on to explain it. “A meta, or a metahuman, is someone with powers.” 

“Like… Iron-Man?” 

“Famously a hero without powers, but yes, you have the right idea.” Cisco said. “Years ago, there was this particle accelerator that malfunctioned, and it exploded, causing a large ripple of dark matter to spread throughout the city. That dark matter infected certain people and physically changed their DNA structure, giving them superhuman abilities.”

“So superheroes are real?” Caitlin said. “You’re serious?” 

Cisco nodded. “Absolutely serious. In the few weeks that you’ve been conscious, have you heard of The Flash?”

“The Jitters drink?”

Cisco laughed softly before shaking his head. “The drink is named after the superhero. You see, when that particle accelerator went off, it made villains, but it also made heroes. The Flash was struck by lightning and sent into a coma, and when he woke up nine months later, he was given the ability to run faster than the speed of light.” 

“No way. So there’s a hero with super-speed, here in this very city?” 

“Yup.” Cisco nodded. “And you haven’t even heard the craziest part.” 

“Which is?”

“The Flash just so happens to be Barry Allen.” 

Caitlin’s eyes grew twice their size as the realization dawned on her. “No way. The guy I met earlier was a superhero?”

“But wait, there’s more.” Cisco said. “We’re all superheroes. I’m known as Vibe. Ralph- you met him earlier- is Elongated Man. Iris is the team leader. She doesn’t have powers, but she’s just as heroic without them. And you… you were Killer Frost.” 

For about thirty seconds, all Caitlin could do was blink and process what she had just heard. “I’m a hero?”

“One of the best.” Cisco said. “You have cold powers. Everything ice and snow.” 

“My last name is Snow, and I have ice powers?” Caitlin tilted her head. “That’s convenient.” 

Cisco couldn’t hold back a smile at that. “You’d be surprised at how many villains we face that have names sounding like they came right out of a comic book.”

“I’ll bet.” Caitlin hesitated for a moment, then something occurred to her. “This whole thing, me being kidnapped, me losing my memories… it happened because I’m a superhero, didn’t it?”

Cisco nodded. “My guess? He didn’t kidnap you for money. He kidnapped you to handicap the Flash. It was a lot harder to face metas without you helping out, and I think that’s what he wanted.”

“How did it happen?”

“Well…” Cisco let out a brief sigh, and began to tell the story. “About a month ago, CCPD started getting reports of various attacks from throughout the city. It was a different person each time, but they all had one thing in common: when the culprit was brought in for police questioning, they would always claim to have no memory of the event. We suspected that there was a meta with mind-control behind these attacks. A few days later, CCPD got an anonymous tip telling them to check out the Central City Park that night, and they’d have their guy. Well, CCPD went, and it turns out it was a trap. Joe called Barry and told him what was happening, so we all showed up to the scene. But this meta was… powerful. He could get inside our heads and throw us off our rhythm. Before we knew what was happening, he took you and got away.” 

“Wow.” was the only response Caitlin could muster. “So that’s how he erased my memory, then. He had powers.”

Cisco nodded.

A moment passed between the two of them, neither one saying a word. It felt so strange, and yet, it felt so comfortable. Cisco knew that she didn’t remember him, but one look at her and all he saw was Caitlin. His Caitlin. Caitlin, the one he’s been falling for a little more each day for the past six years. 

Then she spoke.

“Cisco?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

Cisco tilted his head in his confusion. “Sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“This whole thing must be really hard on you.” Caitlin said.

“That’s not your fault.” Cisco said. “For the past month, all I’ve wanted was for you to come back. And now you’re back, but it’s… not the same. Yeah, it’s hard, but you shouldn’t blame yourself. I don’t expect you to remember, I don’t expect you to make it up to me. You’re the most amazing person I know, Caitlin. I just wish you knew that.” 

Caitlin met Cisco’s eyes.

“You and I… we weren’t just friends, were we?” 

Cisco shook his head. “How’d you know?”

“The way you look at me.” 

“Caitlin, what we have, it’s… escaped definition.”

“But it’s love?”

“Yes. It’s love.” 

“Do the others know?”

“No.” Cisco said. “You and I have worked together for years. We became instant friends, and for a while, that was all it was. But as the years passed, we survived every little crazy thing together, we never left the other’s side, and… the feelings formed on their own. We were in denial for a long time. I dated other people, I thought that I could move on from you if I found someone I loved just as much. But it never happened. Not a single soul in the universe is as perfect for me as you are. You’re practically my soulmate. Then you confessed. And I realized that our love for each other was mutual. After that, we started dating in secret. The team was going through a lot at the time, and frankly we both wanted to keep it on the down-low for now. But then you were kidnapped. After all these years, I finally had you, and then I lost you. Just like that, you were gone. For a whole month, I had no idea if I was ever going to see you again.”  

“And now I don’t remember anything.”

“But you’re here.” Cisco said. “We’ll get your memories back one way or another, I promise.” 

“What if we can’t?” Caitlin asked. “I mean, you said yourself that things were so much harder without me helping you out, but without my memories, I can’t help. I supposedly have powers, but I don’t have the slightest idea how to use them.” 

Cisco paused for a moment, then his whole face lit up. “Wait. I have an idea.” 

“Yeah?” 

“When you use your powers, you become this whole other persona. You physically transform into Killer Frost. If you could transform now, maybe that would be enough to trigger your memories.” 

“But… I don’t know how.”

“It’s okay, just try.” Cisco said. “It was hard for me to use my powers at first, too. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and focus on becoming Killer Frost.” 

Caitlin inhaled a shaky breath, stood up straight, and closed her eyes. Cisco watched with a hopeful grin, crossing his fingers and wishing for the best.

A beat. Nothing.

Caitlin let go of the breath she had been holding and opened her eyes. “I can’t do it.” 

“That’s okay.” Cisco placed a gentle hand on Caitlin’s shoulder reassuringly. “You did your best. Thanks for trying.”

“I should be getting home soon. It’s late and I’m starting to get tired.” 

“Do you want me to take you to your apartment?” Cisco asked. 

“You sure you’d be okay driving me?”

“Who said I was gonna drive you?” Cisco’s eyes twinkled with a hint of playfulness. “I never did tell you what my powers were. Watch this.” 

Cisco outstretched his palm and concentrated for a few seconds. Before long, a bright blue shimmering breach appeared in front of the two of them.

“Whoa. You can make portals?”

He nodded. “We call them breaches. They can take me anywhere I wanna go in the multiverse at any time.” 

“Multiverse?” Caitlin raised an eyebrow. “The multiverse theory is real?” 

“Yeah. We have a couple friends from different universes, actually.” 

“Alright, I definitely wanna know more about that. But not tonight.” Caitlin started to step through the portal, but turned back and met Cisco’s eyes one last time. She smiled in a way that made Cisco’s heart melt. “Goodnight, Cisco.” 

He smiled back.

“Goodnight, Caitlin.” 

~~~

The day was just getting started as Team Flash gathered in Star Labs and prepared their ambush on the warehouse Caitlin woke up in. Cisco brought a granola bar and was snacking on it. Ralph was tapping his foot against his chair. Caitlin sat in the cortex, keeping quiet while everyone else made plans.

“Alright, everyone has to be on high alert. He doesn’t know that we’ve found Caitlin, so there’s no way he can be expecting us, but we can’t let our guard down. He’s bested us once before, let’s not give him the chance to do it again.” Barry said. 

“I searched the address Caitlin gave and found this warehouse near the edge of the city.” Cisco set his granola bar down and pulled his search results up on the computer screens. “In other news, I’ve been brainstorming a name for this guy. I’m thinking… Mind Master.”

“You really like alliterative names, huh?” Barry raised an eyebrow.

Cisco shrugged. “They sound nice.”

Everyone was suited up and ready to go. Cisco threw away his empty granola bar wrapper, sighed, and outstretched his hand. A shimmering blue breach appeared before the team, ready to transport them right to the warehouse. 

“Wait.” 

The team turned around. The voice had belonged to Caitlin, who was now standing in front of her seat, staring at them with a look of determination that reminded them all of her old self. 

“I want to go with you.” 

Barry spoke up. “Caitlin, without you being able to access your powers-”

“I know, but I’m the only one who’s actually been in the warehouse. And if this guy took away my memories… maybe he could give them back.” 

“She has a point.” Cisco said.

“If she wants to go, let her go.” Iris reached into the cabinet behind her and pulled out an energy rifle. “Here, Caitlin. To defend yourself.” 

Caitlin took it. “What’s this?”

“It’s an energy rifle. Basically a fancy gun, but it shoots energy instead of bullets.” Iris said. “Just pull the trigger, you’ll be fine.” 

“Okay, I don’t mean to rush us here, but I’ve been holding this breach open for like, almost a full minute, and it’s very draining.” 

“Right. Sorry, Cisco.” 

With Caitlin now holding the energy rifle, the team stepped through the breach and into the unknown.

The warehouse was dark, empty, and cold. It felt unwelcome, like the creepy mansion you’d expect in an old cheesy horror movie. Chills crept down their spines as they treaded lightly into the unknown. 

“This is the place.” Caitlin confirmed. 

“Yikes. You woke up here, all alone?” Ralph raised an eyebrow. “Respect.”

“Well, it’s not like I had a choice in the matter.”

“Let’s just find Mind Master and get out of here.” Cisco said. “This place is creeping me out.”

“It’s… empty.” Barry said. 

You really fell for the same trick twice? The Flash isn’t as smart as I thought.

They didn’t hear the voice. It wasn’t spoken. It appeared in their heads, as if it was a thought, but it wasn’t their own. It was his.

“That’s him.” The tremor in Ralph’s voice reflected the fear they all felt. “He’s here.” 

Do you think I wouldn’t expect you to find your friend again? Do you think I didn’t expect you to try to find me?

“He led us here.” 

“This is my fault.” Caitlin looked like she was gonna be sick. “I brought you here. This is on me.” 

“No.” Cisco reached out and laid a hand on Caitlin’s shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t think that. It’s not your fault.” 

A purple mist surrounded them, clouding their view of the warehouse. They heard footsteps somewhere nearby, but they couldn’t tell where. Whether it was real or just in their head, they had no idea. 

Then they saw him. Walking through the fog towards them, there he was. The master behind it all. 

A deep, hearty, intimidating laugh escaped his throat. 

“You lot are no match for me.”

Cisco shot a vibe blast out of his palm. The blast was aimed right for Mind Master’s chest and it should have hit, but to the team’s dismay, it only passed right through and instead left an impact on the wall behind them. Magic Master’s image glitched and disappeared, gone from sight.

He lowered his hand in defeat. “It was a hologram.” 

“Wow.” Ralph muttered. “This guy’s no joke.” 

Barry cursed under his breath. “Once again, he could be anywhe-”

Caitlin’s shriek cut Barry off. Mind Master had taken advantage of the distraction and was pinning Caitlin up against the wall, facing the team with a sly grin. 

“Try and stop me now, heroes.” 

Caitlin was practically whimpering. Cisco felt his heart pounding in his chest. He hated seeing the panic on Caitlin’s face. She could get out of there, if only she remembered how.

“Caitlin, you can take him. You gotta transform.” Cisco stepped forward, meeting Caitlin’s eyes and trying to appear as calm as possible in spite of the situation. 

“I- I don’t know how.”

“Think about what motivates you. Fear, anger, spite…” Cisco recalled all the times he would get Caitlin to transform in the past. “I know you can do it. I believe in you.” 

“Oops. Not soon enough.” Mind Master raised his fist and aimed it at Caitlin.

“No!”

A flash of lightning whipped past them, soaring through the air with enough force to blow Cisco’s hair in front of his face. Before they knew it, Barry had knocked Mind Master onto the ground, freeing Caitlin from his grasp. After that, all the others saw of the fight was Barry’s yellow lightning and Mind Master dodging, throwing punches. 

Until Mind Master got away.

Cisco didn’t register what was happening until it was too late. He felt a force throwing him back, knocking him against the ground. He looked up and saw Mind Master’s fist only inches from his, his eyes holding more malice than the Reverse-Flash. Cisco shut his eyes and his heart skipped a beat…

“No!”

The voice was all so familiar, and yet distorted at the same time. She spoke with a hint of an echo, a magical voice perfectly fit for the person it belonged to. It was icicles and blizzards and the crunch of fresh snow beneath a traveler’s foot, and yet it was warm, and sweet, and so very Caitlin, all at the same time.

A blast of icy whirlwinds knocked Mind Master off of Cisco and against the wall with enough impact to render him too weak to fight back. Barry grabbed the metacuffs and put them on him before he could try anything else. Mind Master slumped in defeat, his powers no longer at his expense.

Cisco got up and faced his savior. Sprinkles of white were dancing around her fingertips. The frozen mist was still fading around her. Her hair sported a shade of white that matched the piercing frostiness of her eyes, the ones that were looking at Cisco with a warmth someone wouldn’t normally expect from an ice queen. 

Killer Frost.

“You did it.” Despite his heart still thumping in his chest, he couldn’t stop grinning. “I knew you could.” 

“It worked.” 

“What?” 

“It worked!”

Frost shut her eyes and exhaled the breath she had been holding. The ice around her faded, her hair reverted to its natural warm brown, her eyes lost their frozen touch. Her grin was accented with her natural warm brown aesthetic, the excitement in her expression was something so genuinely her. She ran up to Cisco, not caring about anything in the world except for him. She cupped his face, and she kissed him.

“I remember.” She huffed, a joyful grin stuck on her face. “I remember everything.” 

~~~

“So, when were you two planning on telling us about your relationship?” 

Cisco and Caitlin laughed. Iris was looking at them with a sparkle in her eyes, one that showed how happy she was for the both of them. The heroes were all still a little worn out from the battle beforehand, but Caitlin hadn’t been able to stop holding Cisco’s hand since they left. Even now, in Star Labs, Caitlin was leaning against the chair that Cisco was sitting in. 

“Just throwing it out there, I totally called it.” Ralph said. 

“You did not.” Barry raised an eyebrow at him. 

“I did! Remember when I pulled up Ralph’s Guide To A Healthy Relationship and I said, ‘huh, Cisco and Caitlin would be great for each other’.” 

“That doesn’t count. You said the same thing about Kamilla when Cisco was dating her.”

“I’m supportive of all Cisco’s romantic interests!” 

Cisco laughed softly at the team’s playful bickering, and reached into the desk’s bottom drawer to pull out a Twizzler. He offered one to Caitlin, who took it and held it in front of her teeth.

“This monitor is old.” Cisco said. “I think this is the same one from that time maybe about six years ago when we spilled Big Belly Burger sauce on it-”

Caitlin laughed. “Didn’t we blame it on Hartley?” 

“Yeah, we did!”

“Dr. Wells was pissed.”

“Oh well. Hartley was a dick anyways.”

The two of them shared memories and giggled to themselves like schoolchildren for one long, precious moment. When it ended, Cisco was simply looking up at Caitlin with lovestruck eyes.

“What?” Caitlin smiled. 

“Nothing.” Cisco shrugged. “I’m just glad to have you back.” 

Caitlin leaned over and kissed Cisco one more time. “I’m not leaving. Ever again.” 

“You didn’t leave. You were kidnapped. And for the record,” Cisco tucked Caitlin’s hair behind her ear. “The next person who tries to take you away is going to have to pry you from my cold, dead hands.” 

“Yeah?” Caitlin’s voice reflected her amused smile. “I thought I was the one with the cold hands.” 

“You just had to make a cold joke, didn’t you?” 

“You love it.”

Cisco chuckled softly. “I do.”

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 61

Chapter Summary - Tom and Alexianna decide it is time to tell the people closest to them, starting with Emma and Benedict. Whilst talking Ben sees something is bothering Tom and decides to get him to open up to him before he says something that could cause consternation between himself and Alexianna if Tom let it to fester.

WARNING - CONTAINS REFERENCES TO PAST POST-NATAL DEPRESSION

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @theoneanna

Request if you wish to be tagged

Alexianna smiled and watched as Tom went to the front door to answer it. She was officially ten weeks, their baby was healthy and doing well according to the hospital, so, with her stomach starting to show ever so slightly, they decided to tell their family, Emma and Jack being first.

Lily was in school. They decided they would tell her after the twenty-week scan, if they could get that far without her noticing. Twenty weeks was an incredibly long time for a young child, thirty was a lifetime at that age, so they did not want to tell her yet.

Truthfully, Alexianna was a little scared to tell Emma, she did not want her friend to feel as though they were taking from her pregnancy. Tom dismissed her worries as nothing but she still fretted. With a gentle hand over their baby, he kissed her and told her it would be fine before the knock came and he answered the door.

When Emma entered, she embraced her friend tightly. “I was starting to feel you were avoiding me.”

“I've had a lot of college and work stuff of late, it's been very hard to juggle everything,” Alexianna explained. It was true, she had been juggling a lot. The job did not work out, the interview process was brutal and she did not get through. She was disappointed but as always, Tom was supportive and she decided, with the baby coming, she would focus on finishing college and having the baby, then apply to more places. “Look at you, you look amazing. How are you feeling?” Alexianna looked to Emma's small baby bump which was bigger than hers. “I'll get everyone some tea.”

“Actually, I’m really good, bar being sick randomly, but it is getting less frequent and the tiredness has stopped, I'm not feeling so bad these days. I'm relieved I am so close to halfway through this. ”

“Lexi finds Liga the best thing to stave off morning sickness, they really work, we've bought about six packets in three days.” Tom made the comment nonchalantly, smiling as though there was nothing of any note about the words he just stated.

Jack's face filled with confusion at the comment, he looked between Tom and Alexianna, noting Tom's grin and Alexianna's attempt to hide her smirk as she made the tea.

Emma spent a moment longer processing his words before looking at her brother who gave her the biggest smirk he could muster before she looked at a coy looking Alexianna. “You're pregnant?”

“Ten weeks,” Alexianna confessed.

Emma barely inhaled before she emitted a high pitched squeal that hurt everyone's ears, including her own. “We are having babies seven weeks apart, are you serious? Please tell me you're not lying. You're actually having a baby as well?” She rushed over and pulled Alexianna to her again. “This is the best news ever. Oh my, God.” She then went to her brother and embraced him. “Congratulations, both of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Wait, did you know this at Christmas?”

“We found out Christmas Eve. Lexi gave me the most incredible gift.” Tom beamed over to her. “This is incredible, for both of the babies to have someone so close in age to them. When Evan and I were kids, because we were the closest in age, we had the best time of all the cousins. Our children will be the same. Lily and Sophia are really close and our kids will be close. If these two are the same gender...they'll be as close.” He hugged his sister. “This is incredible.”

“You're the most excited out if everyone.” Emma laughed. Tom beamed even more proudly. “So, who knows?”

“You and Mum. She found Lexi's vitamins and added that to our shocked behaviour on Christmas Eve.” Tom explained.

“And she's happy?” Emma shook her head and laughed. “What am I saying, of course, she is. This is so incredible. Are you finding out the gender at the scan?”

“We haven't even talked about that yet.” Tom had not even considered it.

“I'm also very suspicious of them. I mean, our son is a daughter.” Alexianna laughed.

“It had two options and was wrong. We won't paint the room pink and drop three thousand on baby clothes,” Jack added. “Congratulations to you both by the way.” He gave Tom a hug then went to Alexianna, eyeing her carefully. “You don't throw up easily, do you?”

“No, I am at my worst in the evening. As Tom said, I am just stuffing myself with Liga and Rusks.” She smiled. “It works for me.” He gave her a hug.

“We can leave these two have an afternoon together when they’re born and we can suffer together.” Tom joked to Jack.

“Translation, you'll go to your mother's.” Alexianna laughed. Tom gave her a hurt look. “No, you are a great father but Lily is older, little babies will be harder.”

“This is hilarious, you'll be giving me advice about being pregnant because you did it before, and a few weeks after that, you will be going through it all again too.”

They spoke and laughed for a while before it came time for Emma to go prepare for work.

“I am so glad you’re not mad. I didn’t want you to think we were trying to take from your pregnancy in any way.” Alexianna confessed as they were getting ready to leave.

Emma, like Tom, knew better than to simply dismiss her concerns, knowing as well as he did that as much as she had grown, Alexianna was prone to odd thoughts on occasion. “What, no. This is amazing.” Her friend dismissed. “I get to be a mum and have a new niece or nephew in one summer.”

“At least this gets you a great excuse not to feel awkward declining to look after our two, you’ll be busy with your own,” Tom commented.

“Mum is going to never be home. Honestly, between these two, and Sophie and Lily, it’s going to be madness.” Emma noted. “God, this is weird. I am having a baby weeks before my best friend growing up has one with my brother...wow. It’s like some weird TV show.” She walked over to Alexianna and hugged her again “So, Liga, you couldn’t have told me that one?”

“I did, you went on about not being a baby, remember?” *

Tom watched as Ben looked almost lost between his bickering sons. Hal had the audacity to take the crayon Kit had been in no way interested in as he had been playing with blocks, so naturally, on seeing his brother with the crayon, Kit was convinced he was using it and he needed it more than oxygen. “A good day then?” Tom asked.

“I am going insane. If I was asked to go narrate a documentary on paint drying right now, I would ask if they wanted me to do a three part series.” Tom erupted in laughter at the other man’s words. “I am jealous of you some days, just swanning around as you do.”

“I have Lily.”

“She lives with her Mum, you get a break.”

“They will be living with me soon, or me with them, so no break then.”

“You’re moving in together?”

“We are.” Tom nodded.

“Congratulations.” Ben was genuinely happy for Tom. He had been suspicious at first of Alexianna, he did not want someone making a fool of Tom, or wanting to use him to fund them through life. But he saw how Alexianna was. How adamant she was that Tom never feel pressurized to tend to her and her daughter. She made Tom so happy, her and Lily. He truly was happy for them. “What spurred this on then?”

“Well, we want to be settled before the baby comes. It wouldn’t be fair to Alexianna.” He watched as Ben’s eyes widened. “Alexianna and I are having a baby.”

“But...you said she didn’t want to have another child?”

“She didn’t, she was shocked when it happened.”

“How did it happen?”

“I doubt I need to tell you how I got my girlfriend pregnant.”

“No, I am not stupid, Tom. You know what I mean,” Ben growled.

“We have no idea.”

“You have to have some. Were you sloppy one evening?”

“No, I always took care of my side of things and Alexianna ensured them on hers.” Ben had no inkling as to what he was talking about. “We used two preventions, both failed.”

“Both...Jesus, I thought we were bad when Sophie got pregnant with Kit, but two contraceptive methods to fail, you can’t even blame one of you.”

“There’s no blame. It happened, we are dealing with it, we are very happy.” Tom's face told of his elated joy at the news.

“Are you?” Tom nodded. “Well, then, congratulations.” Ben got up and embraced his friend. “And give my congratulations to Alexianna too. As long as you two are happy, and Lily of course, then this is wonderful. How are your parents about it?”

“Mum is delighted, over the moon really. Emma is seventeen weeks pregnant, so two grandchildren this summer, so she's very happy with that. Emma's happy because she has her best friend having a baby two months after.”

“Wait, your sister is pregnant too?”

“She announced it Christmas Day,” Tom stated.

“Did Alexianna know this?”

“Apparently she knew they were trying to plan for a baby, why?”

“And you're sure Alexianna didn't want another one?”

“Ben, I only knew she was pregnant because I found the paper pamphlet that goes in the box, she had hidden the box and test from me, she never planned to tell me and just...deal with it in London herself without my knowing.” Ben's eyes widened. In truth, Tom had wanted to discuss Alexianna's previous plan for the baby. “She broke down crying when I asked her what it was, apologising and telling me she'd already researched the closest clinic.”

Seeing that it in some manner was bothering Tom, Ben realised it was true. “What changed? Surely you don't go from not wanting to have any more children to being incredibly excited to have one very quickly?”

“We talked it over, we listed why things were not ideal now and could they possibly be overcome. Her main concern was work and college, but of course, she is entitled to maternity leave and her final exams are in May, so that's doable, it is not easy because she is suffering morning sickness, but doable. She took time to consider everything, I told her I would support her regardless and thankfully, she said she wanted to keep it.”

“You wanted it?”

“Yes.” Ben was startled by that. “Why wouldn’t I? I love Lily, I always stated that I wanted children. I love Alexianna, I agree with her way of choosing to raise children.”

“How are you with it all? Her thinking to go through with the other option?” Ben could still see there was some part of it bothering Tom. Tom said nothing. “Look, it is clearly bothering you, so either say it here to me, where it goes no further or risk it coming out at the wrong time or festering in you. Neither of those is healthy.”

Tom looked at Hal and Kit, who had foregone their previous argument to chase each other with toy cars along the couch nearby. “I just felt so angry.”

“That she would think to do that?”

Tom bit his lips together for a moment, worried that if he said the next sentence, would it mean he was a terrible person. “For considering that for our child but having his.” He awaited Ben’s judgement.

For his part, Ben took a moment to consider Tom’s statement before answering. “I understand what you're saying, I do but did you ever consider she considered that then too? That she couldn’t because of the control he had on her.” Ben had been made aware of a lot of the issues Alexianna suffered through in her marriage. “You said he used the pregnancy as a form of control of her. I know she loves that little girl, I have seen how much so and she most certainly would die for her, but I do not think for one minute she would have thought any differently before, the only difference being, this time she was allowed decide for herself if she wanted to continue the pregnancy, with your support regardless, which in turn, unlike what you said about her being miserable when carrying Lily, has meant she is embracing it more and can actually look forward to motherhood this time.” Ben pointed out. Tom’s stared at him silently. “I could be entirely wrong, of course, but on the outside looking in, it seems to be some bit logical that this is in no manner indicative of how she views you as a potential father to her children but rather how she viewed the situation based on her past experience.” Tom nodded pensively. “You never stated how was your father with this information?”

Tom inhaled deeply. “I haven’t told him yet.”

“Is there a reason for that?”

“He is more stern about things than Mum.”

“In what manner?”

“Children should be born into a married home, it’s more stable.” He responded in his father’s Scottish accent. “Irony of ironies, as his marriage did not last.”

“Well, have you planned to ask her?” Tom looked at his friend. “Kit rushed us along, you know that.”

Tom said nothing in return, he merely thought over his friend’s words.

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 24

“Stop givin’ her your back, baby. You know betta, damn it!” Colton beat the cold canvas of the ring in constructive dissatisfaction, unintentionally distracting me from Tia’s chokehold attempt.

We were doing daily training now, with the match only two weeks away. Ryan, wasn’t exactly giddy towards accepting this challenge and jumping on this particular horse, the undoubted distraction it would from my column at the Pilot. I swore, and sensibly assured him I could juggle both hefty responsibilities, but the extreme lack of sleep on my calendar these days was proving an obstacle. 

Cardio and weights with Colton routinely every morning in the basement of his place at 4:30 a.m., showered and off to work by 8, then grappling and fight training every evening with my trio. Cal would often sideline for emotional support, too. The fact that Mr. Ritter and I now shared a bed each night, his & her vanity’s in his newly remodeled bathroom thankfully equipped with a bathtub large enough for the both of us, and breakfast in his nook every morning made alone time easy, thankfully. I moved in swiftly after the details of my match with Katrina Bexley from Franklin Park were on paper, accepting Colt’s offer to share a home with him happily.

The contents of my place were relocated to our home within a couple of days, before the cool of Pittsburgh autumn disembarked. He let me sprinkle a feminine touch here and there without dispute, and even bought me my very own pink punching bag for the basement as a housewarming welcome.

“Livvy, c’mon! Take her down, you’ve got it!” My boyfriend turned trainer encouraged.

His part in my preparation had been a surprising positive for our relationship. I could tell, despite how frightened he was for my welfare, that the common ground of fighting we now shared was one he appreciated. He kept up my diet plan with me, avoiding to dare come home with pizza, beer, or burgers, and most nights we’d watch his old fight films, or any other female matches he could dig up online. He’d rest his back on the arm of the plush sectional I’d brought from my old apartment, I’d settle between his legs resting my head on the muscled pillow of his core, and he’d talk me through each move listing the do’s and don’ts.

I carefully counted the seconds, waiting for the exact moment to pummel Tia to the mat, fearing I would misstep. Then, like I’d been doing it my entire life, I locked her into a double leg takedown, and she grunted in discomfort when her head bounced like a ball off the canvas.

“Touché, LC! That was excellent. I’ll bust your nose if you do it again, but it was perfect,” Tia pulled the slimy mouthguard from her teeth as she stood to her feet.

The ring at the Temple had become as much my home as the one I was creating with Colton these days. I often showered in the locker room there at night after sessions, allowing me to crawl directly in bed after the short drive home if need be.

“Hit the sauna with me before you head out?” I asked Tia, hopefully.

We were on much sturdier ground now, and she’d even spent a handful of nights at our house for dinner. Colton and she were teetering a little on the line beyond civil, giving me hopes of a friendship for the two of them in the works.

She came out of her latest match victoriously, and Colt & I were there to support on the front row. However, her eye had suffered quite the beating in the bloody battle, so she was out of commission to compete for at least 6 weeks recommended by her surgeon.

“I’d love to. God knows I need it. But I have an early shift in the morning at the boutique, so I’m gonna head out.”

Colton snuck up my back stealthily during our conversation, wrapping his arms around my neck to kiss my cheek, and the sweat soaked hair stuck to it.

“I think I may know somebody else who has a few extra minutes to occupy the sauna with ya’, 2-1.”

“Ahhhh, fuckin’ hell, you sleeze. I’m out on that note,” Tia made a gagging reference then grabbed her bag to retreat.

 Colton sat aside me on the oak bench of the spacious sauna, with my feet swung over his toweled groin so he could massage the aching, knotted muscles of my calves. It was quiet the first several minutes, so I took the peaceful silence as an opportunity to close my eyes for some long overdue rest. The two of us had already “christened” the very room a few weeks ago, so I knew that nagging plea from Colton had been satisfied and he wouldn’t be begging me. For at least another few days.

“Have you talked to your parents lately? Since you told them about the fight?” He asked, his words breaking through the thick, white steam of the sauna.

He had yet to meet my parents in person, but I settled for a Skype introduction before I moved in. Something felt eerily unsettling about moving with a man when my parents didn’t even know his hair color. My mother, however old, but very clearly not dead, almost yelped when Colton’s fetching smile came into view of the camera, and even dad complimented his “impeccable politeness.”

“Yeah. Dad texted the other day to ask if it would be streaming online so they could watch. I’m sorta shocked at how excited he is. I didn’t think he’d be over the moon about the idea of his daughter getting her face beat in.” I jerked when my personal, irresistible masseuse worked over a deep dwelling tender spot in my leg.

“I think you should have them out here, babe. He’s excited that your competing in somethin’ again, I betcha. They could stay in the guest room at the house,” he calmly, yet very suggestively stated.

Dad being proud of me again, and the thought of hearing his cheers from the stands, was a fond idea, no doubt. But, the possibility of having him come so far, only to get my sorry butt handed to me, and disappoint him once again, wasn’t keen to me.

“I love you, Colt, but we’re gonna have to agree to disagree here. I think having them here, to watch the fight, would just create way too many unnecessary nerves for me, ya’ know?”

He never said another word that night in the aspect of my mom and dad, and we made the journey home.

 Later in the same week, Colton took me to a sweet spot in his precious ‘Burgh to help me check fight night attire off my checklist. He knew what I liked, and more importantly, what I needed to avoid feeling too constricted, and asked if he could call in a favor so the seamstress could have it made up when we arrived. The Pilot was sponsoring me, along with Temple Fitness, and Andrew tossed his hat in for The Grind, as well. I was grateful they’d been so generous with sponsorship donations, and considered it an honor to wear their banners.

The address Colton drove us to was a hole in the wall, and I would’ve considered it abandoned and drove on by had I passed the place myself. But he heeded the tailor was a gem, and one of the finest ladies he’d ever met. When we entered, a teeny bell atop the door jingled, and a teenage girl staring into a book at the counter raised a smile to greet us.

“Hey there, Tessa. How ya’ doin’?” Colton acknowledged the girl by her first name, clearly proving he frequented the place often.

She beamed a candy apple blush at Colton’s ‘hello’, her no older than 16-year-old heart skipping a beat. I didn’t blame her. When I was her age, Nathan Rogers made me quiver that very same way. Was there a single, heterosexual female within 5,000 thousand miles that didn’t want to lick my boyfriend like a melting popsicle?

“I think ya’ grandmother has something ready for me to pick up.” Colt leaned upon the counter, as if feeding into the poor girls drooling response. Much like my own reaction the very first time I laid eyes on him.

“She said you’d be by today. Let me grab it for you!” Tessa jumped from her seat to answer her favorite customers beckoning call.

“That poor girl almost tripped over her own tongue when you walked in here, Ritter. Don’t smile at her like that too much. Give the female population at break, damn it.” I nudged him once the girl disappeared behind the stock room door.

“You gave them a break when ya’ took me off the market and claimed me, baby,” he stuck his tongue out playfully and winked. Of course.

“Oh, what I service I did for my fellow man, huh?” I countered his cheekiness with my own gentle pinch to his toned rear end.  

When the young clerk emerged, she unfolded a black pair of elastic, compression shorts trimmed in pink. The letters of my name printed boldly across the waistband, the young lady observed Colton and I, hoping to gauge any reaction of satisfaction to the product.

“I thought about having Sally put ‘Luscious Liv’ on ‘em, just to stick you with a shit ring name like the one I got.” Colton snidely declared.

“Thank God, you have a heart and decided against that one. For your sake, smartass,” I grabbed him by the face to shake him flippantly. “I love them though, Colt. And, I just might love you, too.”

“Appreciate it as always, Tess!”

Tags: @torialeysha @eap1935 @littleluna98 @mollybegger-blog

A/N: Apologies for the brief chapter, my angels. I’ll make it up to you! I’ve got lots I need to be writing, but it seems my brain is on vacation. Doing the best I can for you all, and hopefully you’ll hang in there with me!

[stuckwith-harry]

“We’ll figure it out”

A/N: Yes, I do seem to have a thing for making Harry feel like absolute garbage. It’s a bit concerning, considering he’s my favourite character and all that. (The next one will be happier! I promise!) Anyway, this took me forever to finish, but I do ultimately like it a lot and figured it was time to just put down the damn pen. (Laptop.)

Warning for a mention/discussion of the Dursleys and an amount of f-bombs I promise I didn‘t plan. (I also take a subtle dig at Cursed Child, because of course I fucking do.)

Part 4 of 100 Ways To Say I Love You.

@diva-gonzo asked to be tagged - here you go. Alright, let’s all grab a snack and go!

„We‘ll figure it out.“

After the ecstasy is gone – after every member of the Weasley family has hugged them at least a dozen times, and after they've shared a thousand incredulous, glowing smiles, and after they've had messy, blissful sex twelve times in three days – when the thrill of it all finally quiets down, and Harry's cheeks have stopped hurting from smiling so much – what it leaves behind feels like a small hole at the very pit of his stomach.

“Fuck’s sake, she’s hard on you”, Ron tells him six days after – referring to Head Auror Chadwick – as soon as he’s closed the door to their joint office.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

Head Auror Chadwick – only their supervisor and one of Ron’s favourite people to complain about – just handed Harry a thick stack of new files, though Ron’s complaints are louder than Harry’s.

“You were supposed to be spending this weekend getting absolutely shitfaced with us! You know, celebrating!”

Harry doesn’t have the heart to tell him he asked for the extra assignments. There aren’t any words that can explain it, anyway.

“But we’ll do it, promise, and you’re gonna have the time of your life. There’s no way we’re not celebrating.”

And Harry smiles. He shoves the files into his bag, joins Ron in complaining about the ruined weekend, and smiles, and smiles, and smiles, while the hole inside him quietly grows.

At some point after him and Ginny first broke the news, the shocked faces and cheers and congratulations turned into making plans. Discussing how to juggle it all. Advice from Bill and Fleur and Molly and Arthur. Advice from Hermione, not because she has any qualifying experience at all, but because she's Hermione, and of course she picked up a book on the subject immediately after they told everyone.

Harry is there for all of it. He watches Molly gush, and Hermione babble. He watches Ginny glow. He’s there for every dinner conversation and every clap on the back, every anecdote shared and every single time Ginny secretly rolls her eyes at her fretting mother. He is there – so why does he feel so goddamn far away from it all? All the smiling is making a balloon blow up inside the hole of him: one that’s empty and sickening and, worst of all, a lie.

And so, two weeks after, he sits in his office at home, more hole than person, and pretends he‘s absorbing any of the information on the papers before him. Maps and Death Eater files and incomplete stakeout plans clutter his desk, and it‘s all urgent, it always is. But he keeps catching himself staring out of the dark window that reflects his desk lamp, and his thoughts run in a thousand directions at once. He can make out vague shapes of the neighbourhood in the dark, and the top of the apple tree in their garden. Godric's Hollow's rooftops shine in the pale moonlight. Harry knows what direction the primary school is, because they always walk past it on their way to the grocery store.

But it’s useless, he tells himself, as he struggles not to acknowledge the anxious hands that seem to have gotten hold of him, digging their fingernails into his insides and closing around his throat until he feels like he’s being choked. He takes off his glasses, rubs his tired eyes, and forces himself to breathe against the emptiness in his chest.

“You’re still up?”

Harry turns around in his chair. Ginny is leaning against the door frame, already in her pyjamas, and though Harry can't make out her face in the dim light, he can hear a smile in her voice. He half-nods, half-shrugs, and turns back to his desk.

Ginny is having none of it.

“You’ve been weird this week”, she says. Because she’s Ginny, it’s not an accusation: She merely observes.

Harry listens to her footsteps on the wooden floor when she comes closer, putting her hands on his shoulders before easily wrapping them around his chest. Harry can feel her stomach rest against the back of his head and wonders what the fuck is wrong with him.

“Sorry”, he says flatly.

Ginny strokes the top of his head, and Harry lets it soothe him, even if he doesn’t think he deserves it.

“We can go to bed, if you want”, she says, “or you can tell me what’s going on.”

And the truth is, of course, that Ginny has watched him fuck up many, many times in the few years they’ve been together. She's been witness as he's forgotten things, and failed to show up, and broken promises he meant to keep when he made them. She was there when he didn't understand what bothered her so much when it was him that bought the house, and when he told her it was just money. She didn't turn around and leave, every time he tried to protect her and ended up hurting her instead. She was there and looked at him when he yelled and cried and pushed her away and said things he didn't mean.

And two weeks ago, when she told him she's pregnant, she was there when his face lit up, and when he kissed her like he's never kissed her before, and when he smiled so much his cheeks still hurt the next day.

So Harry decides to confess, not because he likes it, or because that makes it easier, or because he's any less ashamed. But because he knows that Ginny has already seen the worst of him, and that she won't think any less of him.

Even if Harry does.

"I'm not excited anymore", he says with a tight throat.

The silence that that sentence leaves rings in his ears. Even now, Harry knows that no judgement awaits him – no tantrum is coming. She’s not going to fight him. But she's going to be there and watch, unflinchingly, as he falls deeper and deeper into the dark hole he’s turning into, and he is so fucking sick of it.

"Okay", she says simply.

"It's not okay, Ginny, it's really, really fucking not –“

"Babe, you're spiralling."

She rubs his shoulders and takes long, steady breaths that Harry can synch his too. When he's stopped gasping like he's drowning overwater, Ginny reaches for his hand, and together they sit on the carpet by the couch, where Harry and Ron usually sit when they spend their weekends working on cases together.

“Alright”, she says quietly. “Talk to me.”

Harry fixes his blurry eyes on their entangled hands, but Ginny doesn’t. It’s the one favour she never does him: she never looks away.

“I’m supposed to be really fucking happy right now”, he says hoarsely. “And – I don’t think I am anymore, and I don’t even know why.”

Ginny is silent for a few moments while she takes this in.

“To be fair”, she says softly, “I was a bit surprised about how excited you were. It’s not like we were planning for it to happen so soon.”

“But I was”, Harry insists. If there’s nothing else he can do to make it better, he needs to make sure this part, at least, he gets across. “I promise I was excited, Gin, I was – it’s just … everyone’s making all these plans, and thinking about how we’re going to manage it with work and everything …”

He trails off.

„I know they’re a handful“, she says, smiling faintly. „And we can tell them to tone it down, if you want … but I don’t think that’s what’s going on.“

Harry looks around his office, searching for a way to say it that doesn’t sting.

“I started thinking about what things are going to be like when the baby is actually here, and … I just have a bad feeling.”

When he glances up at her, he can see her jaw clench: she's silently pressing her lips together, and Harry wants nothing more than to shove what’s left of him into the hole he’s become.

“Well”, she says quietly, “do you wish I wasn’t pregnant?”

Silence.

“I don’t know”, he mutters. “No…”

Ginny quietly lets out a breath. “Okay. But something’s wrong.”

Harry bites his lip, willing it to stop trembling. There are no words for the feeling that’s filling him up like cement – the stirring and shifting of heavy dread that consumes him. But there are words he is thinking – words he desperately needs to ask, so someone, anyone, can reassure him, and yet, words he cannot let himself say, for fear of speaking it into existence.

“What if I’ll be shit at it?”, he whispers. “What if this baby grows up and fucking despises me? And what if I’ll despise the baby, too?”

What follows is their heaviest silence yet. Her grip on his hands has loosened, though she hasn’t let go. When he glances up at her, something in her face shifts, and Harry knows they’ve fallen into their usual routine.

“That’s not going to happen, Harry.”

“You don’t know that.”

He falls: deeper and deeper into this most recent hole he’s carved out for himself, until him and the hole are one and the same thing. She finds him at the bottom and looks at the mess he’s made.

He deals Ginny the blow, and she takes it.

“I do know that”, she says fiercely. Her eyes are red. “Because I know you. And you’re not your relatives, Harry.”

There's a small, stinging silence.

“That's what is it”, she asks, “isn’t it?”

And Harry shrugs, and nods, and stares at the empty wall across from them. “I guess.”

Ginny rubs his hands while she sniffs. “Okay. I get that. But it’s not going to be like that, Harry. You’re not like that.”

Harry closes his eyes. “And what if that’s the only thing I’ll know to do?”

“I know for a fact”, she says, “that you’re better than that. I wish you could look at yourself sometimes, Harry … you wouldn’t be worried.”

Harry doesn’t bother to tell her that the very last thing he wants to do right now is look at himself. “What are you talking about?”

“Teddy”, she says simply. “I wish you could see yourself when you’re with him. The way you treat him … you are so full of love for this kid. And Teddy’s as good as your son – this won’t be different.”

Harry hasn’t thought about it like that.

“And you would never want him to feel the way you did”, she continues, after a brief moment of hesitation – with that quiet thunder in her voice that only ever breaks through when they’re talking about the Dursleys. “Because you remember the feeling, don’t you?” When he looks up, her eyes are wet and fiery, but she battles her way through the next sentence anyway, a strangled whisper, nothing more. “You’d make damn sure your own kids never know it.”

There is no point in pretending anymore: Harry lets hot, salty tears slip down his cheeks and drip off his chin. “Yeah, I would”, he whispers.

“That’s all I care about”, she says. “If anything, it’s going to make you a better Dad, Harry, not a worse one.”

She untangles her crossed legs with a sigh and slips onto his lap, and Harry holds her there. Once she’s comfortably sitting on his leg with one arm wrapped around his shoulders, he buries his face in the crook of her neck, and there they are, crying on his office floor like teenagers.

“Look, if it’s any consolation”, she says, “I’m pretty scared, too.”

"You'll be great", Harry mumbles, and he knows it to be true without question.

Ginny plays with his hair. “Why am I supposed to be such a natural at it?”, she asks quietly.

“I just know.” Harry lets himself put his head on her shoulder – there is no feeling quite like the weightlessness that comes with leaning on her. “And you’ve got your parents to look to …”

“I figured that was part of it.” Harry doesn’t respond – he doesn’t need to. “And that’s what scares me, funnily enough.”

She doesn’t quite meet his eye when he looks up. “Which is why I’d actually appreciate it if we could ask them to back off a little, if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah – what’s going on?”

“Everyone’s so damn convinced I’ll be amazing at it.” Pause. Then – “Even you.”

Again, it is not an accusation.

“And I get it”, she says. “Because my Mum did such a fantastic job, how could I possibly be different?”

Quiet sarcasm has slipped into her voice. Harry doesn’t miss it.

“Well, I’m not my Mum. And – she’s great and all that, but I don’t want to be my Mum. I wish they’d all shut up for a minute and stop acting like I exited the womb ready to be a mother. Merlin, I’m twenty-one, and now I’m pregnant, there’s no way I’ve got it all figured out right now.”

“I didn’t realise”, he mutters. “I’m sorry.”

She shrugs. “I didn’t want you to worry about me. You had enough on your mind … I could tell.”

“I do think you’ll be great”, he says – desperate to offer anything at all.

“And you will, too”, she says with complete certainty. Something he finds oddly soothing, even if he can’t believe it, not yet. “We don’t have to know it all today. We’ll figure it out.”

Harry looks away. “I just … wish I was still excited.”

Ginny strokes his cheek. „Me, too“, she says softly, and Harry’s chest hums and aches at those words. “But I was there when you found out, you know. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this – stupidly happy. That was real. I thought it was, anyway.”

And that last bit somehow hurts even more than the fact that Harry never wanted to fall into this hole. He wanted so desperately for this to be okay.

“It was”, he says. “I promise.”

Ginny waits for him to continue, and when he doesn’t, she blinks away her tears and says: “You’re acting like it’s all ruined, and it’s not, Harry. That baby isn’t even the size of a Snitch yet. Nothing’s lost, okay?”

“Okay”, he says finally. The hole inside of him hasn’t gone anywhere, but the urge to throw himself into the abyss has lessened slightly.

She smiles.

“I’d like to point out”, she says and sniffs, “that all these tears are entirely hormonal, because I’m pregnant, but I’m still cool and intimidating and all that.”

“You are cool”, Harry says and looks up at her. “I – thank you. For not losing sight of me.”

[rakuraiwielder]

it was never about that

Nothing could have prepared her for the lurch in her chest when the intercom clicks open with buzzed static and familiar screaming. Post Volume 6 reunion.

RWBY, Blacksun.

Also on A03

Foreword:

breaks my 1 year writing hiatus with the underdog ship ahahah AAA im back bABEYY

go easy on me please I worked on this with only post vol 4 spoiler knowledge and a-not-so-accurate world map so have some au content for events that have yet to transpire(?)

They had barely made it to the command room before the alarms blare again; red and fire illuminating the cold marble of the corridors. Blake stiffens, pushes away the echoing screech of Grimm ringing in her ears as she eyes the ominous lights, frowns minutely as the building gives one ominous shudder. Beside her Yang tenses with teeth clenched, and she drops her shoulder in response to cover her, ignores the throbbing of her knees and wrist as she fingers over Gambol Shroud.

Their ragtag group huddles further into the cold, ruined room amid burning cinders and shocked circuits, but she has little time to make sense of it all before Ruby was calling her name and the screens over the shattered glass overlooking Atlas flares to life.

Nothing could have prepared her for the lurch in her chest when the intercom clicks open with buzzed static and familiar screaming.

“-is a distress call from- cuos, --overru- -e Grimm are- , if anyone can hear me-“

“Neptune!” She wasn’t aware she had waded up to the front of the monitor until she sees Ruby retract her hand from the buttons, shooting her a concerned look. She swallows, feeling pain wreck the expanse of her throat, wasn’t aware of the crack in her voice until the pain persists.

A two-folded attack, and Salem still three steps ahead of them.

Blake’s ears fold back as the roar of cannon fire in the background swallows the muffled sounds of battle, feels anxiety spike when Neptune yells for a Captain to be careful. The bad feeling only pools further when she picks out a pained groan through the static.

Another groan behind her, and Blake tries to close her ears to Weiss’s sob as her father struggles to stand.

“Ru- y? Bla-? W -need reinforcements, please, NDGO and BR- -wn. – is here! Can’t ho-“

“Neptune!” Weiss’s exhausted shout goes unanswered as the feed cuts off, leaving the static screen smoking with fried wires.

No one says a word as dread hangs in the air.

“No..”

Blake can feel her team’s gazes on her as she shuts her eyes, holding the grimace at bay. Panic comes first; springs free from her eyes when she turns to face them. If Neptune was there, then that would mean…

“Blake?” The room was silent, stray sparks crackling as Ruby shuffles closer.

“We have to help them.” She says, feeling helpless even as the words leave her mouth. The threat to Atlas had yet to be fully neutralised; as it were, the ramifications of the destruction must be answered for and the crew were short of hands. The nation of Atlas must know. But more importantly, more importantly…

Blake bites her lips and swallows a curse, clamps down the tremble that runs down her spine as every instinct of her body screams otherwise. Those were her friends out there, comrades who fought beside her as Beacon burned with cinder and ash all those months ago. People she refused to desert again.

Her eyes find Yang unconsciously, sees an unknown emotion flit across the blonde’s face as she presses her lips into a grim line. Guilt stems from her conscience, unconsciously; she hunches her shoulders even as lavender looks steadily at her. This was not her decision to make.

Never again. She had made a promise.

The nauseous feeling persists.

“Then you must go.”

In the hushed silence of the command room Yang’s voice rings clear, her soft grunt of admission that follows carrying a hint of her usual cheer. She levels a look at their leader, who looks equally surprised at the declaration. Blake’s axis stutters to a stop; disbelief clouds her mind, for it was Yang; Yang whom took her departure hardest, whom she strove so hard to mend her relationship with; Yang, whom she blamed herself most over.

Yang, whom was trusting her to leave.

It is relief that hits her first after the shock, and Blake cannot help but feel guilt at that too. She feels wronged somehow, like she had gotten a free pass at something she was never meant to have. So muddled in her thoughts she missed the unspoken exchange that passes between the sisters, darting to attention only when Ruby chuckles and Yang breaks away with a resolute grin.

“Yang,” Weiss sighs tiredly. “you know that’s not possible, there’s still things we have to-”

“I know. Which is why you and I will be staying here. Ruby and Blake will head to Vacuo.”

“Are you sure?” Blake says again, sees the grin curl into a smile as Yang levels her with a stare that spoke volumes.

“Yes, go to them.”

A weight eases off her shoulders even as she tries to smile back, blood rushing through her ears in waves.

Things are a blur after that; from running down the decks of metal grates to the roar of an engine taking them to the skies. (There is an airship bounded for Sasus, I’ll have them adjust coordinates-) There was no time for long goodbyes -the four of them barely had time to trade quiet glances-, and before long the team had split again. (Don’t worry kids, got some unfinished business to do here. But then I’ll be right behind you. We all will.) She doesn’t feel any better when the clouds part and the guilt leaves.

There is an itch under her skin, emphasized by her own worry. It gnaws at her, bit by bit at the crevice of her mind that she actively tried to avoid. It is not long before she cannot close her eyes without seeing a mirage of a dimming tower within the harsh desert smothering with flame and ash.

The memory of a shrug, an easy-going grin, (Me? I’m going back to Vacuo./You are with who you need to be with now./Hey…I’m sure we will see each other again soon.) haunts her behind closed eyelids; grows stronger with each passing day they take to reach the far ends of the sea.

She would be lying if she said she hasn’t thought of him. It had been months long, but in her mind the culmination of her journey to and from Menagerie longer still, and he had been there, every step of the way, wading through the darkness of the White Fang beside her. He had been by her side so long until he wasn’t, and the first few nights after their parting she wakes up disoriented at the absence of an earnest voice and golden hair.

She misses Sun, she thinks, but under no circumstances did she want to see him again this way. The faunus boy who never failed to come to her aid, who offered and offered selflessly and gave himself to see her smile, whose homeland now burned under the eye of the cruel witch. She hopes this time she can be strong enough to return the favour.

Sun and his team were strong, she has no doubt about this, strong enough to give them a run for their money if they so wished. But then she thinks of confident Neptune; voice frantic and laced with pain, of what might have caused him to sound that way, and her instincts continue to spark something unpleasant in her gut.

The nightmare drags on, reveals fallen bodies both civilian and Hunter, a thousand possibilities that led to stark-white skulls glowing within burning destruction. A sinking sense of déjà vu comes over her when a limbless creature emerges from the inky blackness, morphs into tormented human.

Her throat closes with a sickening feeling.

Think positive, Ruby says, but even Blake can see the searing conflict beneath her eyes.

“This time, it won’t be too late.”

She surprises herself by placing a hand over her arm, and the smile that lights Ruby’s face makes her feel better too. She returns it, feeling a twinge of amusement at how hypocritical they both seem to be.

Sun used to do that; ground her back just as her thoughts spiral off into tangents that had her want to pull her hair in blind panic and frustration. She always had a penance for the worse-case scenarios; one would think he would get sick of it. But he had always grasped her shoulder and shot back a what-if, juggled Jingu-bang and Ruyi-bang with a goofy sort of confidence in a way he knew she would rib him for.

She had not realised the first few times, but he had made her forget. Ebbed her stress away until the darkness in her eyes left.

And for just those few moments, Adam’s hold on her was no longer as potent.

Her mouth twitches and furrow. She was thinking of him again.

She would have been blinded not to see it, and that was why she tries not to dwell on it at all. There was something there, small and rooted and growing, distance only putting a temporarily halt to the slow culmination of what she suspects, what she fears, would be a finite end she would have to face. Sun had gave, but he had also taken; nudged and prodded and tagged along with a stubborn refusal to leave her alone until he had cemented himself as a trusted companion.

He had become important to her. Important enough to warrant the odd clench in her chest at the thought of him incapacitated.

But Blake knows herself; knows the gentle inkling festering underneath all those layers of doubt and deceit she placed around her wary nature could possibly be more.

And that, above all, scares her more than anything.

She thinks back to a moonlit night of him lying on a cold concrete roof with a wound through his chest and feels a surge of aching so strong her breath rattles through her lungs. It was no longer just an eye for an eye, of give and take, of being there to catch him the way he had for her.

She gasps, snaps her eyes open and lunges from her seat when Ruby calls for her from the Captain’s bow.

Their ship doesn’t stick the landing, deterred by tumultuous windstorms and cascades of sand. The weather barrier had enclosed much of the inner city, disrupting any radio waves or signals honing out. Their Captain risks it, crash-dives the ship over the rapid beatings of murky black silhouette. The Nevermore plunges to its death, carrying the airship with it as it breaks through the sandstorm.

Ruby draws Crimson Rose just as the shutters shatter and the ship makes its crushing presence known, and then they were off at touchdown, a trail of rose petals and nifty shadows cutting a path to the city centre.

Staggered groups of survivors spot then first. Then the automation soldiers. Then rogue Hunters. Ruby blazes through a pack of smaller beasts in a flurry, throws her scythe open as she starts to fire. Blake darts into an opening she makes, curls Gambol Shroud into whip form and lunges. Her semblance ripples in frozen apparitions, dancing around and leaving the faintest trace of a cat-o-nine-tails.

She snatches the Grimm away from cornered bystanders as she advances further, clicks Gambol Shroud into position as the distorted monster tugs and struggles under her grip. Leaps. Then, a flash of red hair and singed clothes as someone lunges from the air toward her.

Her blade slashes pass the Grimm’s neck just as a cutlass cuts through its opposing side.

Blake lands just as red eyes flicker grey and white skull dissolves, turns back with widened eyes to the sight of Scarlet panting and speechless.

“You came.” He looked weary, but the surprise on his face soon wore off into a pleased grin. “Neptune really pulled it off.”

“Not all of us.” She says just as Ruby runs into view. Relief soothes a little of her rattled heart to see him standing. He was fine. That would mean the rest of SSSN had to be too.

“It’s fine,” he says with bravado as they turn their backs to face three lumbering Deathstalkers. “You two are probably all we need.”

Blake watches him huff at the corner of her eyes, sees him catch her looking and gestures to the path forward. A hand on her elbow; she glances back to see Ruby raise the ends of her rifle, hears the clicking of bullets load in wait even as her leader smiles at her with a wild, determined sort of look that held fire.

“Go. We will take care of this.”

“Be careful.” Her smile does not come fast enough for either of them to see; gone in a flicker as her shadows snaked right into the path of a striking stinger. She twists, and feels Gambol Shroud slice through flesh cleanly, side-steps the creature’s thrash of pain and hurries on deeper into the wreckage.

Fires burned hotter the longer she heads straight, and she pulls a few trapped civilians from smoking debris before her ears pricked at the noises of nearby snarling. Screams. She runs against the rushing crowd, sheathes her blade and flicks out the single leather whip. She emerges into the square to see Grimm breaking out of the back alleys at the other end.

Returning fire causes her to look up, and in the distance she sees him, a figure restless as he swipes at an offending mouth with his staff. An inaudible click as he knocks the Grimm on its stomach, and Jingu-bang swings free, metal chains leading trajectory as bullets rain from its other end. Ruyi-bang follows its lead, aims at the opposite direction as Sun spins in a wild circle. Blood stains a little of his shirt, but the agile way he moves gives the creatures no quarter to strike at weakness.

It had been months long and they were in the middle of the heat of battle, but to see him now; Blake feels something unravel within her chest. Her mind, usually so full of denial and second-guessing, was suspiciously clear. No growing warmth, but a flood of something tingling down her nerves that made her want to smile in the bleak situation, despite herself. This at least, she knows. She was living a moment.

She does not falter as she leaps down the stairs.

Flashes of semblances leap around the square in golden wisps, illuminating the darkening sky every time one is torn apart. She dashes past them all, gold eyes sharp as she throws Gambol Shroud forward to intercept the downward plummet of a claw. The leather cord catches and holds tight; she slips around its leg, the cock of a revolver as the mechanism shifts into a gun. Blake fires, uses the force of the Grimm’s backward collapse to slide under the group of them, fingers cracking the trigger as bullet lands mark after mark.

Her Semblance makes no lasting illusion as she crotches down and springs forward, and she reaches Sun just as the last bullet leaves its place. A nudge of her elbow against his back pushes him away from immediate range, causes him to lean forward in surprise, tilting his head back with an unsteady hand to see her sink her katana up the lower jaw of a Beowolf in mid-strike.

“Leave him alone!”

Her blade slashes through its mouth as she pulls it free, its howls quick extinguished by a volley of dust-enhanced bullets. Blake struggles to stand upright, brandishing Gambol Shroud as the smaller Grimm start to back away. The moments where she hears nothing but ragged breathing behind her felt like an eternity.

Then, finally-

“Blake?” His voice; wrecked with disbelief.

The feeling comes loose within her, and this time she cannot help the quiet free-fall of her heart as she turns to face him halfway. He looked as rough as that first night back in Menagerie, but no worse for wear. A shallow cut on his chest reveals a scabbing wound, but that was as much she could see before his gaze catches her again.

Shock, swimming in silence from spluttering lips as he remains at a loss for words. But amid it all, a familiar fondness in his eyes as he tries and fails to hide his spreading grin.

It truly feels like they had reversed roles from their meeting on that ship in the distant past. She can’t help it; the slight curling up of her lips.

“It’s nice to see you again, Sun.” Her hand reaches for his shoulder, tries to remember the way he used to hold hers. She only realises she was shaking when her fingers clench his sleeve too tight.

Ragged silence as Sun stares at her almost reverently. She has half a mind to pull away before he laughs, a breathless sound as he shifts Ruyi-bang aside and fumbles to place his hand clumsily over her own.

His smile was radiant when he looks at her, mirrors the relief that reunites them both.

“My hero.”

x

A/N

don’t you just love this pair and their dynamics and how amidst all the divergent story arcs post-pyrrah roosterteeth still managed to craft a fascinating faunus side plotline for blake and have!! sun be a constant presence throughout it all hOO BOY i’ll be damned if I don’t see the reverse happen soon with imminent Vacuo arc

[bugheadfangirl]

Can u do either sprousehart date night after press or sprousehart backstage after their photo op/panel?

(Thank you for this prompt. I can’t decide which to do, so I’ll do both! I hope you all enjoy it. I am so happy with the outcome. Comment what you thought about it. I love you all! 💖)

Lili carefully steps down the stairs with the help of Cole’s steady arm. They quickly walk backstage and out of the view of thousands of fans.

“Finally.” Lili smiles and presses her delicate lips against Cole’s. He closes his eyes and wraps his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him. She tangles her hands in his fluffy, dyed black hair.

“You guys are adorable and all, but you might want to wrap it up. Signing is going to be soon.” Cami walks into the room as they makeout.

Lili breaks away whining. Cole laughs and kisses her forehead. “Don’t whine, I’ll be right next to you. Plus, I have something super special planned for us tonight. Just you and me.”

A smile grows on her face. “I love you Cole.” Her love filled eyes gaze into his.

“And I you.” He responds with a huge smile. He can’t wait to take her on the date he has planned. When they told him about Rivercon and how it was going to be in Paris, he couldn’t believe his luck. He had already made up his mind, but the news of going to Paris just sweetened it.

Suddenly, security guard walks in. “It’s time for signings and pictures.” He announces before leading them to the signing spot.

Cole holds Lili’s hand as they reach the spot and smiles. It’s a bummer that they can’t continue their makeout session, but at least she’s by his side, and that’s enough for now.

• • •

The signing ends and time flies by quickly. Suddenly, out of nowhere, it’s midnight. Lili is sleeping in her shared apartment with Cami. A sudden knock startled her awake. “Cami… can you get it…?” She mumbles cuddling into her blankets.

Sighing, Cami complies and stumbles to the door. She slowly opens the door reading Cole in a tuxedo holding red roses. “Actually, Lili, I think it’s for you.”

“What…?” Lili blinks in confusion before throwing the blankets off of her and wondering to the door. “Cole…. what are you doing here?” She squints at him.

A tiny smirk grows on Cole’s face. “Don’t tell me you forgot about our date? I’m offeneded.” He mocks an offended look.

“A date? The date you mentioned this morning? Cole, it’s midnight.” Lili laughs rubbing her eyes trying to wake up. She thought he had completely forgotten about the date he had promised her.

“Exactly,” His face turns serious. “Nobody will be out. Plus the destination I have in mind will look amazing.”

Cami gapes at him realizing what he means. “Oh my god. Lili, you’re coming with me. You need to get fancied up.” She pulls Lili’s arm dragging her to the closet. “Don’t you dare me an inch Cole, we’ll be done in a second.” She rummage through her dresses to pick out a low cut emerald green dress to match her eyes. “Here, change into this. Make it quick, we still need to do your makeup.” Cami commands walking out to get the makeup.

Lili quickly slips into the dress and admires herself in the mirror. The color makes her eyes pop against her pale white skin. A smile dorms on her pale pink lips. She doesn’t know what’s about to happen, but what she does know is that she feels like a princess.

Cami comes back and does her makeup. After a few minutes, she’s done. “Tada!” Cami smiles as Lili looks at the finished product. Her eyelids are covered with silver sparkles, her lips are painted with pale pink lipstick. She’s never felt more beautiful.

Lili throws her arms over Cami and gives her a big hug. “Thank you, Cami. I look amazing.”

After a moment of hugging, Cami hands her some emerald green heels to match. “When you get back, you have to tell me everything, understand?” A huge smile forms on her lips as Lili nods. She watches Lili walk to Cole and disappear out the door.

Lili has never been good with suprises, ever since she was little. “Where are we going?” She questions Cole in the limo. They’re cuddling as the driver drives them to an unknown destination, at least to Lili it is.

“We’re almost there, just hang in their for a little bit.” Cole smiles. Sighing, she nods and rests her head on his chest. He wraps his arms around her. “I’ve been wanting to do this since our panel.” He whispers in her ear sending chills down her spine.

“The date or cuddling?” She teases him as the limo stops. Nerves overtake her body, tiny butterflies flutter in her stomache as she gets up off him. Cole quickly gets out of the limo and runs to her side. He slowly opens the door. Taking a deep breath, Lili puts her foot down on the ground and lifts herself out. She glances up to see the Eiffel Tower. She gasps in shock. Ever since she was a kid she’s always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower in person.

“To answer your question, I meant cuddling. I’ve been planning this for months.” He replies taking her hand and walking her to the tower. She gives him a confused look. They didn’t even know about going to Paris for months, How could he have been planning this for that long?

They walk all the way up to as far up the Tower as they can where a fancy table is set up. The lights on the Eiffel Tower light up illuminating the area. “Cole…. this is gorgeous…” Lili smiles the biggest smile in the world. They walk to their seat and sit down. An Italian Pizza lies on their plate and Lili giggles a little. Of course, out of all the fancy food in Paris, He picks Pizza.

Cole laughs and picks up three tiny cans of mannoyase. “I ordered Pizza and they still give us these?” He throws them up and starts juggling them for a while until he throws one a little too far and it flies off the Tower. He freezes as it falls down. “Oh no.”

Lili bursts out laughing. “I can’t believe you just did that.” Cole’s cheeks flush in embarrassment. He purposely bumps a tiny mannoyase. He crouches on the floor and instead of picking it up, he crawls to her. She sees him and gives him a strange look. “What are you doing?” She questions him just as he pulls out a black box and shifts so he’s on one knee. “Cole….” She says stunned not believing her eyes when he opens the tiny black box to reveal the most gorgeous diamond ring she’s ever seen.

“Lili Pauline Reinhart, I love you, and I want to wake up with you every single day. I want you to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I cannot imagine my life without you in it. You are my world. Every inch of me belongs to you, my heart is fully and completely yours. So, Lili, will you do me the honor and marry me?“ Cole looks up at her with vulnerable eyes.

Tears stream down Lili’s face as she nods enthusiastically. “Yes!” She smiles the biggest and brightest smile in the whole wide world. Cole gets up off his knees smiling as he slides the engagement ring on her delicate finger. She wraps her arms around him, “I love you so much, Cole.” She whispers.

“I love you so much too, Lili.” He whispers back before pressing his lips to hers. The moon shines down on them as they kiss on the Effilel Tower.

Tags: @myshipsalwaysail @the-pheonix-rises @gay-for-rey1999 @southsidesserpentroyalty

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (28/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

Masterpost

Chapter Twenty Seven

Spider-Man started to be mentioned more and more mostly online never really by name because no one seemed to know what to call him just yet, but with variations of descriptors. Peter didn’t know if he was glad to get the recognition or not. On the one hand he really liked the feeling he got when he heard someone talking about him, but on the other he had afraid that someone was going to find out who he was. In the end, he decided it didn’t really matter because the whole point of it was to help and save people. It did turn out to be hard work, but Peter loved it. He loved being Spider-Man even if it meant that he was sneaking out of his bedroom window and that he was lying to Aunt May. He didn’t think he would have gotten away with it if Uncle Ben had still been around. Aunt May wouldn’t have been as distracted by her grief. She just wasn’t as alert as she used to be. Peter could admit to himself, though, that juggling everything wasn’t always easy.

“Are you alright?” Ned asked as they were leaving their class for the day.

He asked all the time when he remembered about Ben and how it might be affecting Peter. Peter didn’t blame him for forgetting and he actually didn’t like talking about it, but he still appreciated that Ned cared.

“I’m okay,” he said.

“Are you sure?”

Peter nodded and he tried not to seem to impatient. He wanted to go out to patrol and Ned was holding him up, but he couldn’t just brush off his friend.

“Do you want to come over?” Ned asked.

“I can’t,” Peter said, “but maybe another day? I just have to get home. See you tomorrow.”

He walked off before Ned could say anything else and almost ran Michelle over. She slapped his arm and gave him a glare as he passed with something muttered that Peter didn’t even catch. Once he was outside, he rushed away and as soon as he could find a good spot, he changed into his Spider-Man outfit. One day he would make it a lot cooler than just sweats and a mask with goggles. There were ideas that he’d actually written down about it’. He just didn’t have the means to fix it just yet especially since Peter couldn’t really sew.

He climbed up to the top of a building to find a good perch from where to look for anything going wrong and when he didn’t find anything immediately he decided to take a few videos of himself as Spider-Man. Peter had been planning on putting a few of them online under a username that couldn’t be traced back to him. He could go on and name himself while he was at it too and make the videos that were circulating the internet just a little better.

At first, he just did a few backflips and jumps and then he swung on the web for a moment before landing in front of his phone. Then he heard someone scream.

Peter jumped up and ran to the edge of the building. A woman’s purse had been snatched and the guy was getting away, but Peter jumped off the roof and swung into the scene and caught the guy, sticking him to the nearest wall. He returned the purse quickly and then swung away again back to the roof. He sat on the edge of a roof for a while until something else caught his attention which turned out to just be a kid screaming at his mother because she wouldn’t buy him an ice cream and she was refusing.

Peter decided to save his eardrums and go elsewhere for a while which was how he managed to spot the car flying down a street it was going so fast which he just knew was going to be trouble.

Peter didn’t know how he pulled it off. He didn’t know how he managed to have such good timing, but somehow he did. One moment he had just been trying to figure out how to stop the car or get people away from the danger and the next he had seen the bus and known that it would be disaster for the car driver, the people on the bus, and the people walking around who didn’t even seem to notice what was happening except for a few here or there who were yelling or staring in open shock.

He was swinging towards the car, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop the car, not until it was almost at the bus, which was how he ended up throwing himself between them,  falling right where the collision was about to take place to stop the car, absorbing the hit in a way that didn’t impact the bus but also stopped the car from causing damage to the driver and passenger who looked shaken. The car actually came off the ground at the back and Peter had to set it down gently, glad that he had the strength to actually hold it for a moment.

As everything settled down for him, Peter could see that people had their phones out and that he was their main interest. Peter didn’t waste a moment in jumping onto the hood of the car and swinging away as people looked on.

Peter was a little shaken, if he were going to be honest, mostly because he had almost narrowly missed stopping that car and injuring not just himself but other people in the vicinity, in the car, and inside the bus.It had been a close one, but he had stopped all catastrophe and he had to give himself props for that.

He landed on a rooftop and breathed a sigh of relief for everything that had gone right and then he flopped onto his back because he couldn’t believe his luck. Had any one thing gone wrong or his timing been off anything could have happened, Peter knew that, and yet he felt so proud for what he had done.

He stayed on the empty roof for a while until his phone notified him of a text from Ned and even then he ignored it for a while because Ned was probably only asking something about homework or Star Wars and Peter really didn’t care to answer. Later, as the afternoon got tinged orange and red as the sun started to go down he finally checked.  

Ned: Peter, you’re never going to believe it. Go on youtube. Spiderman just stopped a car from crashing into a bus and it’s all over the internet.

Ned: Omg! Buzzfeed wrote an article about it. This is so cool, Peter! Tell me you saw it.

There was also one from May.

May: Kiddo, pick up a sandwich or something from Delmars. I’m going to work late tonight. Be safe.

He didn’t respond to either immediately just because he wanted to just lay there for a while, but eventually he got up and sent May a thumbs up emoji just because she hated when he didn’t give her any kind of answer. It had become increasingly obvious that May felt like they were going to start struggling for money. Uncle Ben didn’t have any kind of life insurance and even though all funeral costs had been covered by Mr. Stark, even if Peter still didn’t necessarily understand why, it didn’t change that Uncle Ben had had the higher paying job and that his income was gone. They lived in New York. It was Queens, but it was still New York City and Peter knew things were expensive.

May was probably also worried because she’d been out from work without pay for a good while after Ben died. Her bosses had understood her need for time off, but not enough to pay her for the entirety of it. It left Peter feeling a little bit like he should be trying to get himself a part time job to help her out and yet it would leave even less time for other pursuits like Spider-Man so he hoped it wouldn’t come to that. May probably wouldn’t go for it anyway even if he didn’t have Spider-Man.

He patrolled for a little bit longer before grabbing a sandwich as suggested by May and heading home and checking out the links that Ned had sent him to YouTube videos that had thousands upon thousands of views and were all of him from different angles stopping the accident. It was crazy and Peter couldn’t believe it. The comments section was a whole thing altogether and Peter only read a few comments before he gave up and moved on to the next video and then the next.

Back in the old days any time that Tony had to fly anywhere, he would make it a point to have strippers and plenty to drink aboard the jet. Times had changed and instead, Tony spent the rather short flight to MIT looking over Peter things. His grades, his club involvements at school and anything else that might have come up. This was how Spider-Man got on his radar because it was all that anyone from Peter’s school could apparently talk about on social media so naturally Friday picked up on it. Queens has its own superhero and from what Tony could make out, it wasn’t more than just a kid going by how thin and how short the new hero was unless it was a woman but Tony doubted that. There were YouTube videos up that showed him in action and Tony was impressed especially since they all seemed mostly candid and unedited.

The latest one had him stopping a car crashing into a bus and Tony could just tell that whoever was under the mask had to be special which meant they needed to be watched.

“Hey, Friday,” Tony said, “can we figure out who this masked hero is. Could be a good addition to The Avengers.”

“Should I send the info to Captain Rogers?”

“No, I’ll deal with this personally. I just hope that whoever it is they aren’t bringing trouble into Queens. It’s the last thing Peter and May need.”

“Well, it looks like Spider-Man has decreased some of the crime in Queens since his appearance,” Friday said.

“Yeah, but it will attract trouble too and I don’t want either of them near it.”

Tony spent most of the trip trying not to think about Steve which was why he was trying to keep himself busy. It was hard, though, after every surprising aspect of that morning. The last year had taught him that he and Steve got along well once they stopped fighting and that Tony liked the company that Steve offered but he had never imagined that it would ever be more than a friendship. The friendship had often seemed like it was already enough that it almost felt like a dream to get to have more than that. Tony wanted to just fast forward the next few days until he could see him again.

Tony made himself focus on the new hero. The more he looked at the videos on YouTube, the more that Tony thought about all the ways that the young hero could be improved on starting with the homemade suit. Tony was also particularly interested in the webs he seemed to be capable of shooting out out of his wrist. They reminded him -- Peter had been asking about spider webbing.

Could Peter know the masked hero? Or had he come across the webbing somehow and gotten curious? Tony didn’t like it. He wanted Peter as far away from the masked Spider-Man as possible and the easiest way to do it was to get Spider-Man out of Queens. Maybe an invitation to join The Avengers would do that.  

Tony wrote down his ideas on a possible suit for Spider-Man including the use of the red and blue he seemed to prefer. From just what he going see from the videos the hero was acrobatic, could stick to walls somehow even through his clothes, and he was super strong. It was the webbing that he needed to figure out. Was Spider-Man a mutant of some kind or an experiment gone wrong? Either way, the webbing couldn’t be organic. It couldn’t come from him because there was no way that anything inside him could create it unless Tony was wrong because weird things happened all the time. A couple more watches of a few of the more trick related videos gave away the device that Spider-Man had on his wrists and Tony knew he could improve upon that too. Spider-Man needed a whole new upgrade.

“Save my notes, Fri,” Tony said, “it will be something to work on when I’m back home.”

For the last leg of the trip, Tony checked his email. The first one to stand out was from Pepper and recently arrived.

Tony,

I am so sorry but I won’t make MIT. You’ll have to present without me.

Pepper

Tony really should have expected that. He shrugged it off and moved on to the rest of his email. He erased a bunch until one from Maria Hill stood out to him.

Stark,

We have been following a few things closely as concerning Bruce Banner. Recently there have been some proving questions about his whereabouts. We believe they come from the new Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross, as they have some history you are aware of.

As I have touched on in the past, the political landscape right now does not fare well for us. Ever since Shield fell there have been more and more voices critiquing the methods that The Avengers have taken. The events of Sokovia did not help and it’s likely that the inhuman problem is also to blame. Too many untrustworthy people with new and unexpected powers are worrisome even to us even if we have someone working on the issue. I have been advised that the UN is also working on something.

We’re going to need you on this, Stark. Whatever is coming, you’re best equipped to deal with it.

-Hill

Tony was used to getting emails from Maria Hill. It was easier to hear things from her when it came to the less exciting aspects of The Avengers especially when it came in email form. It was especially nice because Hill never tried to shy away from saying what she needed to say. Tony had actually forgotten all about the inhuman stuff that had been going on with the contamination of fish oil pills. Hill and Fury had been insistent that someone was dealing with it so Tony was leaving it all alone. It made him wonder if Spider-Man was one of those inhumans. It would make some sense if he was.

The next email that caught his eye was one from Peter. Finally.

Hey, Mr. Stark,

I know I haven’t written much lately but you know why I haven’t. It’s been a lot to really get used to because I keep thinking he’ll just be there at the breakfast table and then he’s not and his favorite mug is just sitting in the cupboard like he left it. I guess I’m still getting used to it.

Thank you so much for paying for everything. You didn’t have to! But I’m so thankful you did. It was one less thing to worry about. And thank you for the letter. It meant everything to hear those words and it’s made a big difference to me. Thank you so so much.

Peter

Tony decided he would answer it later, so he moved on and found a welcome email from MIT and Tony ignored it in favor of looking out the window for a while and trying not to think about Steve who had probably already arrived in Lagos with the team. Only Vision and Rhodey were staying behind at the compound even though Tony would have preferred that they went as well. Tony just hoped that it all went well.

Chapter Twenty Nine

[corie-the-writer]

Show Me Series

This story is inspired by Carolina Liar’s song, “Show Me What I’m Looking For” 

Tag List Open, so let me know if you’d like on it for new chapters. 

Summary: Maggie decides to meddle in Jake’s love life when she meets Courtney, an aunt of a kid, Maggie’s youngest daughter goes to school with. Courtney and Jake seem to hit it off right away on their own, but Maggie has to light a fire under Jake, when he doesn’t realize how he feels about Courtney. Jake navigates trying to keep Courtney protected from the media as their friendship grows into something so much more. 

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smutt. (not in that order) and foul language at some point.

** I will be doing the first couple chapters in third POV, but may change it to Jake’s POV, and then Courtney’s POV. 

Feed back is welcome. That will decipher how many chapters I write.

April 2015

Maggie Gyllenhaal knew that her little brother Jake was always struggling in the love department. With Jake's busy schedule, he never had time to just casually meet someone. Jake never really liked being open about how lonely he was, or how much he wanted to settle down with someone and start a family. But since Maggie and Jake were best friends, she knew how much Jake wanted to find love. 

Being the big sister, Maggie tried to not meddle in Jake's love life, but she had always kept the idea in the back of her mind on setting him up. She had not put a lot of thought into the idea, until she had met Courtney, an aunt of one of the kids Maggie's youngest daughter went to school with. Maggie had to admit the young woman was extremely beautiful, naturally. 

When Maggie had volunteered to chaperone a trip to a zoo for Gloria's class, she was surprised to see Courtney with her nephew, Evan. Maggie had decided to introduce herself to the dark haired woman, and couldn't believe how nice she was, considering Maggie's roles in movies. Maggie had admitted that most of the parents in the class were stand off-ish because of who she was, so it was nice to know that Courtney didn't care. Maggie had learned that Evan had just moved to New York with his mother and father, and since Courtney owned her own coffee shop and bookstore, she was able to help her sister and brother-in-law out with Evan. The more that Maggie had spoke to Courtney that day at the zoo, she realized that the dark haired woman could potentionally be perfect for her little brother.  

Maggie didn't want to bombard Courtney with a thousand questions in one day, to get a feel for her and what she was like under the surface, so she had decided to exchange numbers with her, in hopes of having a play date or two with Gloria and Evan. 

That day at the zoo had been nearly six months ago, causing Maggie and Courtney to become good friends. Maggie realized that there were several different layers to Courtney. There was a lot of walls built up, but once they were broke down, she had a soft and gentle side. Courtney was able to be witty and sarcastic at the drop of a dime, while being able to push that to the side in order to show her softer side. Maggie knew that Courtney didn't trust a lot of people, but she knew that Jake would be able to bring out a different side of her, and vise versa. Since Jake had been away filming for various movies, Maggie had planned a birthday party for Gloria, and had made sure that Jake could attend, and Courtney had promised that she would be there with Evan. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Peter, Maggie's husband questioned as they finished setting up decorations in the back yard for Gloria's birthday, "I like Courtney a lot, but I think she'll chew Jake up and spit him out." Peter chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Maggie. 

"Jake needs someone to keep him on his toes." Maggie insisted, "Once Courtney gets comfortable with someone, she's a sweetheart. Besides, you know Jake tends to come off as an asshole, so it should be a great match." 

"Whatever you say baby." Peter kissed Maggie's temple, "If they kill each other, I don't want to hear you mope around about how it didn't work out." 

"I know, I know..." Maggie sighed as she watched Peter smile and walk into the house. 

Maggie knew that her brother could be a bit intense, and a little more than sarcastic. She wasn't quite sure how he would react about her trying to set him up, so she had decided to keep it a little secret until he opened up to the idea. 

"Let's hope this goes well."

[X]

Courtney had picked Evan up from his parents home, thankful that she didn't have to deal with the New York traffic and drove to Maggie and Peters home. Courtney smiled as she listened to Evan talking about all the things he had done the night before with his parents, and couldn't help but to chuckle at how excited he was to spend the night playing games. Courtney loved Evan like he was her own child and was thankful that he had become great friends with Gloria once he started the new school. 

"Corie?" Evan questioned from the back seat causing Courtney to glance in the rear view mirror for a brief second before turning onto Maggie's street.

"What's up buddy?" 

"Gloria's my girlfriend." Evan spoke matter of factly as Courtney parked the car near Maggie and Peter's home and turned the car off. 

"Does she know this?" Courtney teased causing Evan to roll his eyes. 

"Yep. We play together on the playground, and she sits next to me when Ms. Amy teaches us!" 

Courtney couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her mouth as she got out of the car and adjusting her leather jacket and shoving the car keys into her pocket, before moving to help Evan out of the back and then moving to the passenger seat to grab her large cup of coffee. 

"Ya know, back when I was a little, I remember this boy pushed me down on the playground because he wanted me to be his girlfriend." Courtney explained to the little boy who scrunched his face as Courtney moved to the trunk to get the presents for Gloria out, before Courtney could finish Evan spoke up. 

"What was his name?" Evan questioned curiously for a six year old. 

"His name was Adam." Courtney answered as she tried juggling the coffee in one hand while grabbing the two bags of presents, "Hey, could you hold this for a second?" Courtney asked the six year old standing on the sidewalk.

Just as Evan was about to walk forward, an unfamiliar voice spoke up causing Courtney to jump slightly, spilling some coffee on her hand. 

"Shi...shoot." Courtney winced and shook her hand out causing Evan to giggle. Courtney shot Evan a playful glare and then looked behind her to the voice and nearly choked on air looking up to the face of the one and only Jake Gyllenhaal. He was down right gorgeous in person, and when he flashed her an apologetic smile, she swore her knees went weak. Jake gestured to the bags and Courtney gave him a nod and took a step back.  

"Oh, er, thank you." Courtney managed to find her voice and stepped aside as Jake grabbed the two bags with ease, allowing her to quickly wipe the coffee on her hand on her black jeans. 

"Corie, what did you do when Adam pushed you? Did you beat him up?" Evan spoke up from the sidewalk causing Courtney to focus her attention on the little boy for a moment and then looked back to Jake who was looking at her amused and curious, she then turned to speak to Evan. 

"Well, I cried all day because I scraped my knees and hands." Courtney explained, "I didn't beat him up, but I went home and gramps took me for a ride in his squad car and he offered to tie his shoe laces around his desk." Courtney added causing Evan to giggle. 

"Do you know where he lives?" Evan questioned causing you to furrow her eyebrows. 

"Why?" Courtney questioned with a laugh as she turned to Jake to take the bags out of his hands but he shook his head causing her cheeks to flush. 

"Cause I'll beat em' up for pushin ya." Evan announced causing Courtney to chuckle and look back to her nephew. 

"I'm with him. Where's he live?" Jake spoke causing you to glance at the man standing beside her as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"As much I appreciate the offer gentlemen, I don't know where he lives, and you little man need to stop watching so many superhero movies." Courtney teased Evan and ruffled his hair with her hand, and then turned to Jake, "Thank you, but I can take those." Courtney gestured to the bags in his hands. 

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you carry these? Besides, we're going to the same place." Jake explained, "Maggie sent me out here to help." Jake added. 

Courtney reluctantly sighed and gave a nod, "Well, the birthday girl is waiting." Courtney reached for Evan's hand and let him lock his little fingers around her hand and walked him up the sidewalk to Maggie and Peter's home with Jake freaking Gyllenhaal behind them. 

[x]

Jake couldn't keep his eyes from glancing towards Courtney through out the party. When he had walked in behind him when they had arrived, Courtney was greeted by his nieces, who nearly tackled her legs, and then Maggie and Peter. Evan was instantly tugged away from Courtney's side by Gloria, causing the two to run through the house and into the back yard. 

Now, he had sat on the kitchen chair facing the living room to see Courtney sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand. He took in hear appearence, her long dark hair had been down outside, almost falling to her lower back, but now was up in a messy bun on the top of her head. The black skinny jeans were hugging her legs that were crossed, her faded black hoodie seemed loose under the black leather jacket. Her pale olive skin tone had a hint of make-up, her bright green eyes were bright, but behind her eyes, she looked bored with the conversation she was having with the man to her left. 

Jeff Matthews.

Jake could get along with pretty much anyone in the world, but for some reason, he did not like Jeff at all. He had known the man for years, due to Jeff being friends with Peter since high school, so he would be at a lot of parties that Maggie and Peter held. Whenever Jake walked into a room, it was as if Jeff had to one up him in anything that they did. Jake knew that he was an intense guy, but that changed when he saw just how intense Jeff could be during a game night. It was like everything was competition.  

As Jake took the beer to his mouth, he noticed Jeff moved closer to Courtney, and she tried to move away from him slightly, not really interested in the conversation Jeff was trying to have with her. Jake finished off his beer before standing up and putting the bottle in recycling. He had decided to move towards the couch and gave Courtney a smile as he sat down on the other side of Courtney, with her in the middle of him and Jeff. 

"Boring her with all of your high school football stories Jeff?" Jake questioned jokingly, not missing the way Jeff's eyes narrowed for a moment.  

"I was actually just telling Courtney that I had been to her bookstore a few times. It's close to my office." Jeff explained, "I told her that we should get a coffee sometime on my lunch break." Jeff added.  

Jake glanced to Courtney and could tell that she was uncomfortable with Jeff's theory on having coffee, so he nudged her arm with his elbow lightly, "You own a bookstore?" Jake questioned and watched as relief flashed through her green emerald eyes. 

"Yeah, well it's a coffee shop and bookstore." Courtney explained, "It's sort of small but it gets a lot of regulars." 

Jake hummed, "You can never go wrong with books and coffee." Jake smiled, "I'll have to check it out sometime. Can you give me the address before you guys leave?" Jake questioned. 

"Yeah, sure." Courtney smiled to Jake, just as she was about to add something, the sound of a little boy's scream rung in her ears, and Courtney instantly froze for a split second and jumped out of her seat as Gloria yelled Evan's name. Courtney bolted through the living room and then kitchen and out the back door to see Peter trying to console Evan as he held his head, Courtney nearly tripped down the stairs to make it to Evan.  

"What happened?" Courtney questioned as Evan ran to her and she instantly caught him in her arms, "It's okay Evan, I got you." 

"He slipped from the monkey bars, I tried to catch him in time." Peter explained with a frown, "I think he might of banged his elbow." Peter added, "I didn't have a chance to see if anything was broken." Peter explained. 

Courtney held Evan for a second and then pushed him back slightly to see his tear stained cheeks and his left hand holding his right arm, "I think we're going to have to go get you checked out, okay?" Courtney questioned calmly as her heart beat was hammering in her chest, and then glanced to Peter and Maggie, "Thank you for having us." Courtney carefully lifted Evan into her arms as he buried his face into the curve of her neck. 

"I'll drive you." Jake offered standing behind her, but Jeff spoke up after him.  

"You've been drinking, I'll give them a ride." Jeff stated and Jake glared at the man. 

"I've had one beer..." Jake went to mouth off at the man but Maggie had cut her little brother off. 

"Jake and I will follow, Jeff will need a ride back for his car." Maggie explained and Courtney gave a nod in understanding after giving Jake a look that he couldn't quite figure out. 

Jake watched as Jeff led Courtney and Evan to her car and followed his sister to hers. He couldn't help but to be annoyed with the fact that Jeff had offered to drive them to the hospital. Jake knew that he only had one beer, but Jeff had acted like he had drank a case. He was thankful that Maggie had spoke up, because there was no doubt in Jake's mind, he would have ripped Jeff a new one for his intense behaviour. 

[X]

Courtney had been thankful that her sister and brother-in-law had met them at the hospital, and had not blamed her for Evan falling, even though she had blamed herself for not being outside to look after the little boy. Liz had explained that it wasn't like he was left alone, because Peter and Maggie were both outside with the other children, and he was a six year old who would get scrapes and bruises.  

Letting out a sigh, Courtney put her head in her hands trying to will the headache away as she felt someone sit down beside her. She silently prayed that it wasn't Jeff as she looked up. Relief washed over her as Jake gave her a soft smile and pushed a large coffee towards her.  

"Figured you could use this." Jake offered, "Might be shitty but it'll do the trick." Jake added causing Courtney to let out a small laugh. 

"Thank you." Courtney took the cup and took a sip, letting the warm liquid sooth her, "You're right. It is shitty, but it's doing the trick." Courtney commented a few moments later after taking a few more sips, "You guys didn't have to come.." Courtney started to explain but Jake cut her off. 

"We didn't." Jake agreed, "But we wanted to. Evan is a great friend to Gloria, and I didn't want you to suffer through Jeff's football stories." Jake admitted lowly causing Courtney to smile. 

"Well I appreciate that. I'd probably be going crazy sitting here alone." Courtney commented and looked around and noticed a few nurses staring at Jake, "Aren't you worried that people will recognize you?" Courtney questioned quietly causing Jake to look in the direction she was looking in. 

"Unfortunately it comes with the territory." Jake gave a smile. 

Jake and Courtney fell into a comfortable silence in the waiting room, while Maggie had disappeared to call Peter to inform him that they were waiting on tests. Courtney couldn't believe how she was able to keep her composure after hearing Evan scream. She knew that without a doubt that she would go home and ball her eyes out, because it had made her heart drop into her stomach. The thought of something happening to Evan made her not being able to phathom the idea, and she couldn't help but to blame herself for not being outside and telling him to be careful, or standing near him in case something like the fall had happened. She knew that little kids would get bumps and bruises, but she had always had a special bond with the dark haired little boy, and never wanted him to expierence anything bad in life, even though it was going to happen. 

"I feel like this is my fault..." Courtney admitted quietly after what seemed like hours causing Jake to raise his head.  

"I wouldn't say that." Jake replied, causing Courtney to turn and look at him.  

"If I would have been out there..." Courtney tried to explain but Jake cut her off. "Courtney, he's a six year old. He's going to get fall and get hurt. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I had my parents rushing me to the hospital for all the falls I'd take playing." Jake explained, "I can promise you, what happened wasn't your fault." 

Courtney couldn't help but to let out a small sigh. She knew that she was being hard on herself because she wanted to do nothing but protect the little boy. She didn't want her sister mad at her for not keeping a better eye on him. Just as Courtney was about to say thank you to Jake, Jeff strolled into the waiting room and plopped down beside her in a seat. 

"So Courtney, I was wondering, if you were feeling up to it, maybe I could take you to dinner after this?" Jeff questioned quietly. 

Courtney couldn't control her jaw from dropping, she heard Jake scoff beside her and moved around in his seat, "Dude, her nephew is in the hospital right now and you are actually trying to ask her on a date?" Jake questioned, "At what point through the day do you actually think she was remotely interested in anything you've had to say?" Jake questioned causing Courtney to turn to look at him and couldn't hold back the small grin on her face. 

"What business is it of yours Hollywood?" Jeff questioned, "Wha are you even -" Jeff began to rant but Courtney cut him off. 

"Jake's right." Courtney admitted, "This was the wrong place and time to even think about asking something like that. Besides, I already made plans with Jake." Courtney lied. 

The dark haired woman knew through Maggie just how competitive Jeff was with Jake out of jealously. Maggie had told her about the countless parties where Jeff would always try to out tell stories, win at different games and Jake had always let him, so she figured if she fibbed a little, Jake could have one up on him. 

"You did?" Jeff questioned with huff. 

"We did?" Jake questioned in surprise.  

"Yeah, don't you remember a couple of weeks ago? You promised to take me to that Indian restaurant?" Courtney gave him a look saying to go along with it. 

"Oh yeah! I completely spaced it. Sorry Jeff, maybe next time." Jake smiled to the man and noticed his face was turning red, then glanced back to Courtney to see her standing up. 

"How is he?" Courtney questioned to her sister, with Jake standing up right behind her, while Jeff stayed silently pouting in the chair. 

"He's fine. He has a broken arm. He thinks it's the coolest thing in the world." Liz explained, "He wants you to see his cast. They are finishing up the cast now." 

"Of course he would." Courtney huffed, "Can I see him before I head home?" Courtney questioned. 

"Yeah. Follow me." Liz nodded. 

Courtney began to walk towards Liz but felt a warm strong hand on hers, causing her to stop and look down to see Jake's hand, and then looked back up to him. 

"I'll be here waiting for ya." 

Courtney couldn't help the flutter in her heart at his blue eyes looking at her and she found herself giving a nod in undrestanding before following Liz to check on Evan.

[artificialqueens]

A Cat's Intuition (Shalaska) 2/4 - Lunaska

A/N: So, here she is.This fic, like most things I write, is a slow-burn, so be patient with me. The waiter/bartender as described in this chapter is probably ridiculously inaccurate, but it’s how I need it to be. This chapter was fun to write and I hope you like it as much as I do. Please leave me some feedback!

Aaron’s ears were red.

And his neck.

And his face.

And probably everything else too.

In his haste to get rid of the small colony of underwear that had settled on his living room rug, he had made some poor decisions.

First of all, walmart shopping bags are good for many things: acting as small trash can liners, handy helpers when you have to pick up the shit your neighbor’s dog keeps leaving on your lawn, and the classic “i’m staying at a friend’s house and don’t want my dirty clothes to touch the rest of my clothes.”

One of the things walmart shopping bags were not known for is their stealth.

Being mildly transparent, flimsy, and noisy, they are not the best at keeping secrets.

Another important thing to take into account is that when you want to keep the contents of your grocery bags hidden, you should probably tie them shut.

Needless to say, Aaron’s decision making skills were proving subpar.

But, his lack of knowledge in the art of the covert didn’t stop there.

On his way to drop his bag of underwear off in the big trash in the parking lot, he made a crucial error: being a distracted son a bitch.

Aaron wasn’t sure the quarter he bent over to pick up was worth the embarrassment of having his bag full of underwear spill out all over the concrete.

Underwear that wasn’t even his.

To top all it off, it was in front of the new guy who lived right next door.

As he stared at the brunette sitting on the ground in front of him, he tried to think of any possible excuse he could use to justify what was happening.

He didn’t want to be the neighborhood weirdo.

“I’m really sorry, I was just, uhm, doing some spr-”

“Is that my fucking underwear?” The other man interrupted. Though, he didn’t seem as angry as he did shocked and confused.

Aaron tried to swallow the huge lump that had just formed in his throat, but it wasn’t going down.

He decided to stop trying.

Choking sounded pretty good right now.

xxxx

Justin was just trying to have a normal fucking day.

Instead, he was standing across from his new neighbor, who seemed to have a penchant for stranger’s undergarments. The man was sitting on the concrete with his scruffy blond hair in his hands. The bag that once contained the underwear was gone with the breeze, leaving only its previous contents to color the sidewalk.

Fucking walmart bags.

He really didn’t have enough time to process the scene before him. Even if he did have all the time in the world, he certainly didn’t have the patience to deal with whatever this shit show was going to entail.

The blond was now rubbing at his eyes, albeit a little too harshly.

It’s really a shame that all the cute ones at this apartment complex are absolute psychos.

But he had to admit that he would pick Brian, “Do you want to come over and watch Contact with me and my cat Trixie?” McCook over the weirdo stealing his underwear.

But, back to the situation at hand.

“All I want to know is if that’s my underwear?” Justin said, gesturing to the messy pile decorating the sidewalk. “And if it is mine, why do you have it?”

The blond looked up at Justin, looking absolutely hopeless.

“Uh…I don’t know.”

Justin walked over to the undergarments in question and knelt to get a closer look. It took him less than ten seconds to know that this was his missing underwear.

He looked up at the blond who was currently running his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends like he wanted to rip them out of his scalp.

He was starting to feel rather bad for embarrassing the guy. I mean, we all have our kinks, right?

He quickly looked away from the other man. He couldn’t show sympathy for someone who was actively stealing his underwear, doing God-knows-what with it, and then throwing it away.

“Look,” Justin said pointing his finger at the other man, “I don’t care what you get off to but just don’t take my shit anymore, okay?”

The blond nodded.

The guy was pretty cute, especially looking all guilty.

He steals underwear, Justin.

Focus.

He pushed off the ground with a groan and a final mildly angry look at the thief, then stalked off towards his car. With one last look over his shoulder, he yelled

“and I want my socks back too!”

xxx

Aaron couldn’t find any damn socks.

He’d spent both of his days off cleaning his entire house and looking everywhere for them and found nothing but $3.78 in change and an old beanie that Cerrone had clearly taken his claws to.

He was already pissed that he didn’t get a chance to explain himself and now the other man was going to think he was still stealing from him. He was hoping he’d find the socks along with the answer to why he was mysteriously receiving all of his neighbor’s underwear, and maybe a couple thousand dollars.

But, no dice.

Oh well.

He couldn’t afford to dwell on his odd relationship with his neighbor, or his lack of spending money.

He was scheduled to work tonight and he really needed to make some good tips or his car was gonna have to run on imagination instead of fuel. So, as he walked into his uncle’s dusty bar and grill that evening, he tried to gather some energy. The dark blue walls of the poorly lit restaurant were slowly becoming comforting, almost homey. Waiting tables wasn’t glamorous, but it kept Cerrone’s food bowl full and Aaron’s fridge stocked with PBR.

Sparing a final grateful thought towards whoever created his drink of choice, he tied his apron and got started.

A few hours in, Aaron felt right in his element as he settled into a practiced rhythm. With the kind of grace that can only be learned over time, he juggled his tables, feeling confident in the service he was providing. He had waited tables since he was sixteen, bouncing from restaurant to restaurant learning new things every time. And now at twenty four, he felt that he could do this job in his sleep and still make more money than his co-workers.

Extra napkins for table five.

Table eight needs refills.

He was about to go get one of his tables their check when he was flagged down by a customer who wanted a drink from the bar. He quickly made his way to the bar area, grumbling under his breath. The way this restaurant handled it’s drinks for tables was inconvenient, and that’s being generous. The waiters had to go all the way to the bar and order the drinks themselves.

As he grumpily made his way to the bar for the first time that evening, he took in the unfamiliar figure of the man behind the counter, who currently had his back to Aaron. They had hired a new bartender who he had yet to meet, but word around the kitchen was that he was funny. And something else his coworkers had mentioned? Was it ambidextrous?

Whatever it was, he just hoped it helped him make good drinks.

He leaned against the bar and patted the counter yelling a quick, “Hey, can I get a Long Island for my table, please?”

Aaron felt a little rude yelling at the back of the new guy’s head, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

As he waited for the bartender to acknowledge him, he took notice of all the people sitting at the bar. Most of them looking towards the new guy with amused expressions, others closer to him were laughing. He must be as funny as everyone said.

Putting a couple of drinks in front of his small audience, he grabbed a cocktail shaker from behind the counter and turned towards Aaron with a wide smile that melted as soon as the two made eye contact.

When Aaron met his eyes he wanted to evaporate on the spot. If he had a drink, he’d have done a spit take. And if he’d had more money to his name and a more conveniently placed exit door, he would’ve booked it out of the restaurant so fast, he would’ve broken the speed limit.

It was his neighbor.

You know, the one who thinks he’s a panty thief?

The one who probably thinks that Aaron has some sort of shrine dedicated to his briefs? The brunette probably assumed that Aaron had some sort of weird underwear fetish.

Aaron had always been both gay and weird, but he’d never been an underwear thief.

At this point, he chalked most of his problems up to bad karma, or maybe he’d accidentally been rude to a witch one day and now she was ruining his life. Either way, the amount of bad luck he was experiencing was ridiculous.

Aaron’s neighbor, whose name tag read “Justin,” was staring at him in shock. The shaker in his hands had stopped moving and the brunette stood stiff as a board in front of him.  The atmosphere had gone from lighthearted to tense in a matter of seconds and Aaron had no clue how to fix it.

So, he just looked back at the other man, waiting for him to to say something.

Anything.

But, the seconds passed, feeling like hours, and he knew he had to get back to his tables or his wallet would suffer. He took a quick, shaky breath and looked the other man in the eyes.

“So, uh, my name is Aaron,” He gestured to the name tag pinned onto his uniformed chest.

“It’s nice to, um, see you. So, yeah, a Long Island Ice Tea for table fifteen, please.” With that, he mustered up an unconvincing smile, turned on his heel and went back to his table. When he came back for the drink, his bartending neighbor was at the other end of the counter again with his back turned towards him. He quickly grabbed it off the counter and walked away with a sigh of relief.

Luckily, the rest of his shift was uneventful. He only had to make a couple more trips to the bar that night and all of them were less awkward than the first, and for that he was thankful.

As he rolled silverware with a couple of his co-workers later that night, he thought back on his previous encounter with Justin. Both times Aaron had been mostly silent, not even bothering to clear his name or give the other man an explanation. Everything had happened so suddenly and unexpectedly that all Aaron could do was just stand there.

He didn’t want to have an awkward relationship with someone he would obviously be seeing a lot of, so it was in his best interest to try to clear things up, and maybe even be friends with Justin.

He was determined to make things right.

Or at least make himself look less creepy.

His thoughts of redemption stayed on his mind till he clocked out that night. During the drive home, he considered what he would say and even planned a couple comebacks just in case an argument broke out, but the moment he turned the street corner that led to his apartment, all he could think of was getting home.

He sighed as he pulled into the familiar parking lot of his apartment complex.

It had been a long ass day.

All he wanted was to get home, take a shower, and watch a movie on his couch with Cerrone on his lap. He turned off his car almost giddy at the thought of having a relaxing night in.

But, the possibility of that scenario fizzled out as he got out of his car and saw Justin pull into the parking lot.

He knew that he would never get another opportunity to talk to him at work. He had already spent hours thinking about what to say and there was no time like the present, right?

Aaron pushed his door open and pulled himself out of his beat up toyota. He walked closer to where Justin was parking his car, hoping to catch him as he got out.

Justin got out of his car ungracefully and slammed the door behind him. Obviously not expecting aaron to be standing a couple feet from him in the middle of a dark parking lot.

Okay, not his best idea.

“Were you waiting for me here?” Justin said with wide eyes and a shaky voice. He had a hand over his heart and was obviously trying to catch his breath.

Aaron once again realized that this probably wasn’t the best scenario to try to convince someone that you aren’t insane or trying to stalk, kidnap, or murder them.

“Uhm, no. I just saw you pull in and i’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while,” he said, nervously combing through his hair with his fingers, “ So, I thought now would be a good time.”

Justin visibly relaxed a little, but still seemed nervous.

“I already said we’re cool, dude.” Justin said, “We all have weird kinks. I just can’t afford to keep losing shit; I’m sure Brian two doors down has some great pieces for your collection, though.”

Aaron sighed nervously, “No, let me explain. I didn’t take your underwear. It just…” he started pulling at his hair again, “Kind of appeared in my living room.”

“Oh, I see. It appeared in your living room?” said Justin, clearly unconvinced.

“Yes. I don’t know how it got there.” Aaron knew it was a terrible argument from the second it left his mouth, but it was the only one he had to work with.

“Have you considered magic? Maybe David Blaine is playing a very long, overly involved magic trick on you,” Justin said, bitingly sarcastic. “And maybe I’mDavid Blaine, after all! I’m in a mask filming this whole thing just to embarrass you, right?”

Justin took a deep, exasperated breath, clearly about to continue his list of impossible scenarios, but Aaron quickly put his hands up in surrender.

“I know it doesn’t sound very-” Aaron stopped suddenly, almost positive that he heard… meowing?

“Cerrone?” he called into the darkness of the empty parking lot.

Justin was obviously confused, but also looked around trying to find whatever the blond was searching for. Suddenly Aaron’s cat sauntered out from behind Justin’s car, going straight towards his favorite person.

“What are you doing outside?” asked Aaron as he gathered the kitty in his arms, “how did you even get out?”

He rubbed his cat between the ears and Cerrone purred. They were both wrapped up in their little love fest until a cough from Justin’s direction brought Aaron back to the situation at hand.

“Oh, sorry!” he looked down at the cat in his arms, “do you maybe want to talk about this at my place? I really need to get him inside.”

While he really did need to get Cerrone back home, he was also hoping that maybe showing Justin how normal his apartment was would help strengthen his argument. And after being at work for so long his feet were fucking killing him and he really wanted to sit down.

Justin shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, obviously apprehensive.

Aaron tried to muster a friendly smile, but quickly realized it probably just came off weird, so he slowly let his lips drop into their normal position.

Justin seemed to think it over for a few more seconds. With hands still in his pockets he kicked at some nonexistent rocks at his feet before uttering a quiet, “Okay.”

Okay, this was progress.

Aaron nodded, grinning excitedly before leading the way towards his apartment. The whole walk was awkward and as he struggled to unlock his front door with one arm, as the other was holding Cerrone, he could see the hesitance on Justin’s face.

As the key turned and he pushed the door open, he only hoped for one thing

Please don’t let there be a huge pile of this guy’s underwear sitting in my living room floor.