#¸·¯ ✩ (ch: tommy duke)

[bigboysrp]

character tags pt 1.

[everythingcanadian]

No Longer Empty (CH.2)

A Small Fluffy Interlude Authors: Dont-call-me-Sir (Paris1961), EverythingCanadian

Pairing: Thomas Barrow/Tom Branson/Jimmy Kent/Philip Duke of Crowborough/Edward Courtenay/Guy Dexter/Chris Webster/Richard Ellis/Henry Talbot

Rating: T for some suggestive content

No Warnings

Summary and Notes:

Being a black cat is purrfect for Halloween. All the context you need is Tommy is the group's little black kitten. Enjoy.

AO3 Portal Series Portal On Tumblr: Part 1

Their little kitten was a surprise when they first got it. 

Chris had picked up the little thing in their garden in Spring. Only the one little guy to be seen toddling around the daffodils. 

Now Tommy is a staple in their home. The fact he's a small black ball of fluff is cute during Halloween. He gets paraded around and held almost all day. He gets so much attention that he needs nearly all of November first to recuperate. They won't see him for most of the day. Come his dinner time he’ll be ready to be picked up or put in a lap. 

It's considered normal when Tommy goes missing after a day of overly affectionate men. It happens during birthdays. It happened during a couple anniversaries. It's normal not to see hide nor hair of him.

He had changed hands so often during the party his owners had hosted that he gave up trying to lick the scents off of himself. Instead he kept himself proud with his little red bowtie of a collar and enjoyed the petting and scratches and treats. He enjoyed when Thomas had picked him up to dance to a jazz number. Only to be handed over to Henry who was reaching for the grumpy black kitten. Another little bouncing dance and he was gently put down on the edge of the dance floor. 

When guests picked him up he’d mew or make some little noise. He’d learned to trust his owners’ friends. He was their child in a way.

When it came time for a group photograph with people in and out of costumes he was front and center in Thomas’s arms again. Getting a little smooch between his ears and a small instruction of “smile for the camera” coming from Chris a bit to the left. Needless to say his two fangs peeked out over his bottom lip. He was proud of his smile .

Yes. Halloween was perfect for the little black cat.

[crash-cinematic-universe]

a sickly satisfaction (ch.1)

pairing: jason dean/reader

summary: high school sucks. jason dean makes it a little better.

warnings: uuhhhh murder, language, suicide discussion

notes: i have every chapter of this written out already, so every wednesday I’ll release a new one <3 in total the story is 7,800 words! but there are some parts that are kind of short, forgive me for those.

            Eyes down. Walk fast. Stay out of their way. Three simple steps to get through the day. They had an iron grip on the school, their perfectly manicured nails digging into the oily skin of the entire student body. High School was a bloody battlefield in the war that is life. However, the epitome of cruelty, the ultimate teenage angst inducing, self-esteem crushing, happiness shattering war machine came in the form of three girls and their weak-willed sidekick. That’s right; my biggest threat in high school is Heather Chandler, Heather McNamara, Heather Duke, and Veronica Sawyer. Veronica at least has some semblance of regret and empathy-- she’s just doing what she needs to survive. Unfortunately, that means the rest of us have to struggle to keep our heads above water. 

            Thankfully, I have a sanctuary. A refrigerator heaven filled with endless isles of roadtrip snacks and hangover remedies. Of course, this junk food Garden of Eden also happens to contain my best friend, Tommy Geller. Tommy is 18, emo, and gay, so naturally we got along pretty well. He sits behind the register and lets me hang around until closing. It’s actually pretty nice-- sometimes he lets me do busywork around the store. Sure, it’s sort of pathetic that Snappy Snack Shack is my main source of serotonin, but you know what? There are worse places to be. 

            “Pop open a bottle of champagne, Tommy, because today is a special day!” I cry, pushing open the small class doors. To my delight, the store is empty. There are no irritating customers there to make me keep my voice down.

            “Oh? And why is that?” Tommy inquires, his jet black hair falling in front of his eyes. He’s tired-- and bored-- and I’m the perfect remedy for that. 

            “Today marks exactly six months since I first stepped foot in this town,” I grin. Tommy’s eyebrows perk up.

            “Really? Congrats, kid,” He’s humoring me a bit, but there is a genuine reaction beneath his sarcastic remarks. 

            “Thanks, Tommy. Y’know, that’s twice as long as my time in New Jersey and three times as long as my run in Nebraska. I have a feeling dear old aunt Maria might actually stay here for good,” I hop over the counter before grabbing a can of Coke out of the fridge. I prop me feet up on the counter, but Tommy knocks them down.

            “You know the rules, kid, no stompy boots on the counter.” I roll my eyes. He wipes off the place where my shoes were before organizing the lotto tickets. “Anything interesting happen at school today?”

            “Eh, same old same old. The Heathers were bitches, Veronica was desperately trying to keep up, and I got tripped in the hallway,” Tommy frowns.

            “God, those girls really need to get humbled,” He spits. 

            “You don’t need to tell me. They constantly act so… self-superior, as if their power doesn’t depend solely on whether or not everyone else hates themselves to believe they’re inferior to three teenage girls who are the definition of ‘peaked in high school’,” I squeeze the soda can in my hand, the metal crunching under the pressure. “They need to be more than humbled. The Heathers deserve to be dealt as much pain as they served,”

            “Watch it, kid, you’re sounding a bit homicidal,” Tommy jokes. If only he knew. 

            “It wouldn’t matter anyway. I don’t think they can die-- they’re like a Hydra. If you kill one of the Heathers, three more will grow in her place,” I sigh. Tommy looks concerned.

            “Y/n, you don’t actually want to kill them, right?” I hesitate. The silence makes Tommy worry.

            “I wouldn’t exactly lose sleep if one of them did die,” I reply nonchalantly. “It would be like a public service. Similar to killing the black mold that grows in the girl’s showers,” Tommy looks at me for a second, his expression unreadable, before turning back to his counter. 

            “That’s morbid,” he says. “You know that? You sound like a killer in the making.”

            “Sometimes bad people deserve bad things.”

            “You’re absolutely not helping your case,” Tommy laughs. I can feel someone watching me. It’s an odd feeling, but I brush it off.

            “New topic?” I ask. Tommy nods.

            A mischievous grin grows on his face. “You got a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Partner? All of the above?” he asks hopefully.

            “No, Tommy, and don’t get your hopes up,” I chuckle, before standing up and admiring the neon sign outside.

            “Oh come on, there has to be someone. You can’t possibly go to that hellhole every day and not see at least one hot person!” Tommy groans.

            “Everyone at Westerburg is either evil or boring. No one interests me and I’m not interesting to anyone. Plus, my attention is mainly focused on getting through the day in one piece, not getting laid.” I neglect to mention the stranger I saw in the Cafe yesterday. He was pretty hot, and didn’t seem to be a douchebag-- in fact, he shot two of the douchiest douchebags with blank bullets. A real rarity at Westerburg.

            “God, you need to get out more. I see some pretty people pass through here occasionally, I’m going to start pawning you off,” he jokes.

            “Oh, god, no,” I joined in on his laughter.

            “Yup, I’m going to give every hot person your photo and your address until you finally score yourself some arm candy,” Tommy can barely form sentences through his laughter.

            “I’m gonna to get murdered if you do that, Tom,” I giggle. 

“             And that would be damn shame,” A voice calls from across the counter. I look up to see the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s the same guy from the Cafe-- although in the bright convenience store lighting he looks more like a ghost than a man. His jawline looked sharp enough to slice me in half, his cheekbones high and defined. His hair was gorgeous and his teeth were really, really nice. 

            “Uh, yeah, that would totally s-suck,” I choked. Tommy shot me the most horrified look I’ve ever seen. “I’ve, uh, seen you around. That stunt you pulled in the Cafe was wicked, man, seriously.”

            “Hey, it was a public service,” He smirked. Tommy gave me a ‘holy-shit-I’ll-leave-you-two-alone’ look before disappearing in the isles across the room. I could see him peeking through the cereal boxes. “I’m Jason Dean, but most people call me JD.” He offers his hand for me to shake.

             “Y/n, Y/n Ln,” I grip his hand firmly and try not to have a breakdown over the contact. “Y’know, there are much less extreme ways to get people to fuck off than, well, shooting them.”

              “The extreme always seems to make an impression, though, doesn’t it?” His voice was a little bit lower and he leaned in a little bit closer. Tommy was freaking out across the aisle, his eyes wide as his hand raked through his greasy hair. 

            “That it does,” I grin. “There are quite a few people in that school that deserve certain... extremities,” 

            “I think you’re right,” Jason smirked once again. I kept my composure as best I could. “Speaking of extremities, I saw you and Kurt in the hallway last week,” My face is lit ablaze as I recall the incident. Kurt had been continuously pestering me the entire day, and eventually I reached my limit.

            “I guess they aren’t joking when they say the chin is the knockout button,” Jason seems impressed, although I can’t really tell because looking him in the eyes seems like a death sentence. “Landed me three days detention, though. That sucked. Although I guess it can’t compare to whatever they’re dealing you,” At this point, one of the regulars began approaching the front doors. Tommy sprinted out before they got in, seemingly explaining that my entire love life depends on whether or not I can play it cool.

            “Eh, what can I say. I sort of dug myself a grave there,” I spoke without thinking.

            “The only graves that should’ve been dug are Kurt and Ram’s. My one critique? Use real bullets next time,” I froze. Why the fuck would I say that? I mean, I’m not wrong but I doubt JD would stick around after--

            “I like the way you think,” JD laughs, his ears tinted pink. Jason looks at me, and for a moment, I look right back. There’s something behind his eyes, something festering and enticing. I wonder if my eyes communicate anything. “I’ll see you around, Y/n L/n,” 

            “And I’ll see you, Jason Dean,” With that he winked at me, spun on his heel, and walked out the front door. Tommy practically sprinted across the room as I released every muscle I’d been tensing. I slowly melted onto the floor. Laying on the tile with my eyes trained on the bright lights overhead.

            “Oh my god,” Tommy breathed. “Oh my fucking god that was-- oh my god.”

            “I know,”

             “Did you see him? He’s like a greek god,”

            “I know,”

            “And he was totally into you, like, totally,”

            “I should’ve given him my address. I wouldn’t mind getting murdered by him.” I say breathlessly. Tommy sits on the counter and looks down at me.

            “I think I need to teach you how to talk to boys,” Tommy sighs, shock still lingering on his face.

            “Pssh, I can talk to boys just fine,” I retort.

            “You almost collapsed when you saw him,” he says flatly.

            “That was--”

            “I thought you were going to pass out when he told you his name,”

            “But I--”

            “I genuinely believed you were going to vomit when he shook your hand,”

            “Alright! I give! I can’t talk to boys! You caught me! Lock me up and never let me embarrass myself like that again!” I surrendered, throwing my arms in the air before letting them collapse over my face. “He probably thinks I’m a freak,”

            “Are you joking? He was more smitten than you were!” This caught my attention, and I tore my arms away from my eyes. 

            “Huh? Elaborate!” I snapped.

            “You seriously didn’t notice? He’d been staring at you since you stepped foot in here, didn’t you see him? At first I thought it was weird, but then I realized he was smoking hot so I decided I’d let it slide,” “Comforting,” Sarcasm drips from my words. “Y’know serial killers and stalkers can be hot, too.” I rolled my eyes.

“             I seem to recall you saying something along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t mind getting mur--’,”

            “Alright, Tommy, we get it.” I cut him off in embarrassment. “Please continue.”

            “He comes in here a lot, so I knew he was alright. He was beet red the entire time you were talking. Didn’t you see the way he was in a perpetual state of stupid smiling? Dude, he was definitely into you and really bad at hiding it,” Tommy concluded.

            I smiled a big, dumb smile. I didn’t notice the fact that he was nervous, so he probably didn’t notice that I was dying, right? 

            “Tommy, I think we might have a keeper.”

            “Thank god, I don’t think I could stand to see you go to Prom alone. That would be too depressing, even for me,” Tommy enthused. I propped my feet against the edge of the counter, staring at the tips of my boots. For the first time in a long time, Tommy is silent. I can’t get his eyes out of my head. Then again, I don’t know if I want to. 

_________

[nefelibatateaser]

Could you suggest FCs for each family?

*keep in mind that this rp WILL NOT be resource oriented, so model faceclaims will be suggested (especially for lord leto whose canon counterpart has been explicitly stated as a beautiful young man (not handsome, but beautiful, like an androgynous greek myth figure. with long hair and all that)).   *we also do not have a set “age bend” rule in place. we just ask that you be reasonable

HOUSE LETO

DUCHESS LETO (50+) : indira varma, aishwarya rai, madhuri dixit, rani mukerji, sarita choudhury, preity zinta,  kajol devgn, sridevi, juhi chawla, mahima chaudhry, manisha koirala, karisma kapoor, raveena tandon, geetanjali rao, deepti naval. 

SER LETO (30+) : UNLOCKED AT CH. II

LORD LETO (26-30) : kaya holl, tom ali, saket sharma, aramis knight, akshay kumar, avan jogi, callum stoddart, sebastian de souza, daanisj mahabier.

LADY LETO (23+) : alia bhatt, janhvi kapoor, sara ali khan, shalini pandey, ,anushi chhillar, alaya f, khushi kapoor, keerthy suresh, banita sandhu, aditi rao hydari, kelly gale, neelam gill, ulka gupta. 

HOUSE AERDDYD

DUCHESS AERDDYD (45+) : naomi harris, estella daniels, cynthia addai-robinson, carmen ejogo, jill scott, kerry wahington, thandie newton, sophie okonedo, tika sumpter, naomi campbell, catherine lough haggquist, thandie newton, angela bassett.

DUKE AERDDYD (45+) : adrian lester, idris elba, sope dirisu, djimon hounsou, paterson joseph, howard charles, danny sapani, david oyewolo.

SER AERDDYD (30+) : adopted

LADY AERDDYD (27+) : lashana lynch, aalijah hydes, gugu mbatha raw, nathalie emmanuel, susie wokoma, jodie turner smith, laura harrier,  pippa bennett-warner, leonie elliott, salem mitchell, grace bol.

LORD AERDDYD (25+) : marcus sivyer, jacob anderson, elliot knight, lucien laviscount,  ntonga mwanza, alfie enoch, adonis bosso, torrin verdone.

LORD/LADY AERDDYD (21+) : cara ricketts, assa miriam, tiffany boone, ebonee noel, alexandra metz,  crystal clarke, evelyn rain, halle bailey, jemal etnel, odiseas georgiadis, chance perdomo, jacob artist, bruno fabre, masao parris.

HOUSE ANLE

@howlscifer and @herorps are doing GREAT job at making resources for chinese faceclaims. so especially for the the anle children, i suggest going to their blog and giving their packs a look!

DUKE ANLE (46)  : wallace huo, li guangjie, qiao zhenyu, hu ge, huang xiaoming, feng shaofeng, liu ye, rick yune, pierre png, 

LADY/LORD ANLE (40) : hu caihong, tiffany tang, gao yuan yuan, fan bing bing, ruby lin, juan zi, zhou xun, qin hailu, li bingbing, cynthia koh, cao xiwen, deng sha, jiang xin.

VISCOUNT ANLE (27) : zhang yicong, ding yuxi, fang yilun, tang xiaotian, wang yibo, darren wang, jing boran, chen xiang, gao taiyu, leon li, zhang zhehan, xiao zhan

LORD/LADY ANLE (<27) : li hongyi, lin yi, sheng yinghao, zheng shuang, zhao liying, shao yuwei, li mengmeng, song weilong, gulnazar (nazha), wu qian, song jiyang, wu jinyan, xu kai, angela baby, li qin, chen xinyu, dilraba dilmurat, guli nazha.

LADY ANLE (20+) : zhao lusi, ju jingyi, zhou zixin, jiang yiyi, bai lu, guan xiaotong, jiang zixin, lin yun, meng ziyi, ren min, song zuer, sun yi, xiao yan, zhang xueying, zhang yaqin, yang chaoyue. 

HOUSE BAVLENKA

GRAND DUKE BAVLENKA (55) : benjamin bratt, emilio rivera, benicio del toro, andy garcia, esai morales, demian bichir.

DUCHESS BAVLENKA (30-35) : maría mercedes coroy, nathalie kelley, ishbel bautista, emily rios, barbara de regil, maría gabriela de faría.

LORD BAVLENKA (25+) : jorge antonio guerrero, peter gadiot, diego boneta, tommy martinez, chay suede, jessey stevens, vadhir derbez, yago mu��oz, jorge lopez.

LADY BAVLENKA (18+) : adopted

HEAD BUTLER (50+) : staff member

*these are just suggestion so feel free to apply as anyone you like as long as they fit !

[inkribbon796]

Flight of the Bomble Bee Ch. 1: Troubleshooting

Summary: Logan and Ethan take their new apprentices out to test equipment, and fail to not get themselves in trouble.

Chapters: 1, 2

In retrospect, Logan knew that taking Tubbo as an apprentice wasn’t the wisest decision. Not only was he a former young criminal, but he was completely unpredictable.

Tubbo had taken some thought on his superhero name: Bumble Bee. He enjoyed tinkering and threatening to test explosives in random parts of the city or the superhero base.

He reminded Logan a bit too much of the Duke on some days, but there were other days when Logan got to bask in the company of another scientist. Days when Tubbo would sit in Bing’s workshop with Logan and the other androids and he would tinker or build things. Tommy would come in and out to pester Tubbo and the young man would brush him off in the pursuit of trying to finish whatever he was building.

After a week or two of tinkering, Logan was rewarded for his patience with Tubbo by being the first to see Tubbo’s finished products.

Tommy was the second because Tubbo had spent his time building himself and Tommy streamlined superhero suits. Tommy’s was outfitted with speakers so he could play music if he wanted or shoot out concussive blasts of air. Tubbo’s fit a brown and black theme with all kinds of pockets and patches for him to hide all types of weapons and explosives. Then he started working on a third one that was a midnight black color that Logan initially — incorrectly — assumed was going to be Ghostbur’s outfit.

Tommy and Tubbo went out on a patrol with Ethan and the Core Sides. Ranboo had come to join their group because Tubbo was there, and what the heroes didn’t know is that the three teens were a bit of a package deal. Ranboo had wanted to check on Tubbo for a myriad of reasons, at first from a distance, and then he disappeared and reappeared a bit less human, and started walking with the group and just watching Tubbo and Tommy arguing.

Thomas came with in a new prototype suit that Logan had built for him, he was hesitant, but excited for a calmer mission. The new hero was more than a little excited for superhero missions, and had chosen the name: Iridescence. His outfit having a rainbow theme to it. Mostly to troubleshoot Tubbo’s new suits in the field. Even though Tubbo was spending half the time hijacking  Tommy’s speakers so he could play his own playlists.

“Fook[1] you, man,” Tommy shoved Tubbo away from him as “Killer Queen” was playing on full blast from Tommy’s new speakers. “Play it from yer[2] own damn shit.”

“Nah, I didn’t wanna[3] bog down my own equipment with a speaker system, that’s what I got you fer[4],” Tubbo smiled, headbutting Tommy’s arm and side affectionately.

“Oh, fook[1] off,” Tommy rolled his eyes and stomped off to stand next to Ethan.

“What now?” Tommy smiled at Ethan.

“We got permission to test your suits in King’s park,” Ethan answered.

“What, like city hall had ta[5] give the okay fer[4] this?” Tubbo asked, sounding a bit confused. He walked a bit faster to catch up with Tommy.

“No, from King,” Ethan corrected. “Didn’t used to need one, but even since Phantom showed up, King said he needed to send a good message. So it’s mostly a formality.”

“King’s one ‘a[6] the Entity’s kids, isn’t he?” Tubbo asked, looking back at Logan.

“Yes,” Logan answered. “Although he has been very diligent about working with us for many years now. His loyalty is not to be called into question.”

“Nah, I wasn’t gonna[7], family don’t mean shit, I get that,” Tubbo defended.

Logan mentally paused, there was a lot of charged emotion to metaphorically unpack in that statement. A lot of history that Logan didn’t think he’d even fully be trusted with.

“Oh no, Dark and King are close, but King’s on our side,” Patton tried to explain with a huge smile.

Logan quickly diverted the conversation to talking about the details of the sparring match. Which Virgil lost interest in, but he was noticing that Ranboo’s nervousness and apprehension wasn’t calming down. He was glancing at Tubbo and only seemed to be getting more highly strung. So Virgil tried to calm him down, even though he was awful at small talk.

“So, does everyone in the SMP take a class on shapeshifting?” Virgil asked Ranboo.

“Kinda,”[8] Ranboo admitted. “I was never really good at it, though.”

“You look fine to me,” Virgil told him.

“Thanks, but I can’t change my mouth, or my colors,” Ranboo confessed, pointing to his face mask. “I don’t know why there’s only so much my magic can do.”

“I’ll keep my eye on him, don’t worry,” Roman smiled, answering some comment that Logan and Tubbo had made about Ranboo. The two groups broke apart and quickly Roman cast an illusion so that Virgil, Thomas, and Roman could switch to their civilian outfits in secret with magic. They would have used more caution but Ranboo had already met them in both civilian and superhero outfits, so there was little point.

As they walked back to the other heroes, and loitered outside the park, watching Logan and Patton start the sparring match. Tommy quickly got a bit too rough and excited in the fight.

“Wanna[3] escape the madness?” Virgil offered Ranboo, leaning over.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Ranboo agreed uneasily.

“Good,” Roman smiled. “Virge, find Thomas a nice spot in the park. We’ll be along shortly.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “I’ll find a nice haunted spot next to the sewers.”

“No! Desist!” Roman ordered as Virgil chuckled before pushing Thomas into the park. Thomas looked confused.

Virgil cackled a little but as Roman was following them, he realized that Ranboo wasn’t taking a step into the park. He was glancing around and the young demon looked like someone was going to spring out of a bush and attack him.

“You alright?” Roman asked.

“Dark attacked me when I first walked into Egoton,” Ranboo explained. “I was trying to get groceries and I didn’t know where the boundaries were. I . . .”

Roman stared at Ranboo for a bit before calling out, “King!”

Almost immediately the animal magnet dropped out of a nearby tree, his squirrels scurrying around him. Ranboo stared at King in alarm and took a step back.

“King, meet Ranboo, his significant other works with us and he would like to enter your park,” Roman smiled.

“The SMP can go fuck themselves, but I’ll make an exception for him because he looks very polite,” King told Roman, pointing at Ranboo.

“Uhh, thanks,” Ranboo told him, and cautiously took a step into the park, and when he didn’t get yelled at or attacked, he took another.

“I can see why Dark targeted you,” King hummed. “You just radiate a certain energy.”

“What energy’s that?” Ranboo walked over to Roman and King.

“The kind that gets you killed or surprise adopted depending on his mood,” King warned. “So tell your parents to keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t have parents, or at least I don’t remember them,” Ranboo confessed.

King sucked in a deep breath, “Don’t tell him that, I have enough brothers.”

“Mm-mmm, okay, I won’t,” Ranboo promised.

“Don’t burn my park down, and we won’t have problems,” King said before he walked away.

Roman was quick to motion for Ranboo to follow him. “Come on, I gotta plan and it involves helping a prince find his prince charming and you and Virgil are helping.”

“O-Okay,” Ranboo repeated and followed Roman over to where Virgil was sitting with Thomas over by the park’s little food court area.

People had gathered around the hero exhibition at this point. Logan and Patton working together like a well oiled machine against Tommy and Tubbo, Ethan taking notes and sometimes cutting in to fight as well.

As the older heroes quickly found out, Tommy and Tubbo were not only experienced fighters, but were adept at working together. They enjoyed sparring, so the fight quickly got a little rougher than Logan would have preferred, but Tommy refused to go easy on them.

“Logic! Logic!” Roman raced over and caused Logan to get hit in the face by Tommy’s elbow. Thankfully his suit took all the damage and the worst it did was wound the logical Side’s pride.

“Shit,” Tommy pulled back, “I got yeh[9] good, man.”

“Oooh, that looked bad,” Roman hissed.

“I’m fine,” Logan dismissed, looking over to see Roman, Patton, and Thomas all in their superhero outfits. Ranboo was hanging back behind them, amongst the group of onlookers. “The suit was safety rated for worse blows.”

“Want me ta[5] test it with a sledgehammer?” Tommy offered.

“Another time,” Logan promised. “This suit is overdue a pressure test.”

“Yes!” Tommy pumped his fist down. “Nice!”

“So, I have the best news,” Roman gushed in overexcited glee, pushing Thomas closer. “Iridescence met someone. Someone amazing. It’s true love, I tell.”

“Uh, Princey, it’s a little too early for that,” Thomas tried to rebuttal as Patton let out an enraptured gasp.

“Interesting,” Logic looked from Roman to Thomas. “Were you all in costume when this happened?”

“Nah, don’t get your tie twisted, Specs,” Roman smiled. “We suited up afterwards so we could share the good news. He’s amazing, I tell you, a true wonder of the world.”

“I thoroughly embarrassed myself and toppled into a trash can,” Thomas corrected.

“It was awful,” Virgil agreed, with a goading smile on his face.

Logan led the group out of the park, it was getting dark. “I can see you’re going to be thoroughly distracted for the rest of the day,” Logan sighed as they started heading back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. Fuck

2. your

3. want to

4. for

5. to

6. of

7. going to

8. Kind of

9. you

[general-rusty]

Hazbin AU Swap

Alastor the host to hell's 6th most popular radio station, out got of him apartment to see the ruins from his balcony. He clears his throat and started to sing.

Chasing Happiness ♪ At the end of the journey there's happiness ♪ ♪ And to find it, how often I’ve tried ♪ ♪ But my life is a race ♪ ♪ Just a wild goose chase ♪ ♪ And my hopes, they were just a lie♪ ♪ Why have I always been a failure ♪ ♪ What could the reason be ♪ ♪ I wonder if the world's to blame ♪ ♪ I wonder if it could be me ♪ ♪ I'm always looking for hope♪ ♪ searching them with my tears♪ ♪ My schemes are just like all my dreams ♪ ♪ Ending every year♪ ♪ Some fellows look and find the sunshine ♪ ♪ I always look and find the rain ♪ ♪ Some fellows make a winning sometime ♪ ♪ I never even make the game ♪ ♪ Believe me ♪ ♪ I'm always looking for hope♪ ♪ Waiting to find the happiness♪ ♪ In vain ♪

In the streets of Hell

A Demon falls from the sky and lands on the ground. "Oh, I’m alive. I’m alive!" He said

A motorcycle runs him over and stop to drop off a leatherjacket wearing Niffty. "Heh. Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff." A male raccoon demon said.

"Yeah, yeah, listen. Keep this discreet, hear me? I can’t let it get out I’m offering my services to creeps on the street. It was a quick cash grab, ya got it?" Niffty said

The Raccoon scoffs, "Whatever you say, slut!" He laughs

"Ouch, ooh, such an insult!  Let me know when you come up with something creative to call me you sack of poorly packaged horse shit. Tell the mrs' I said hi. Schnookums." Niffty quipped

The motorcycle rides off

Niffty brush the dust off of herself. A hooded demon grab the cash out of Niffty's hand "Yoink!"

"Hey!" Niffty shouted

"Up yours, midget!" The hooded demon shouted. A rock falls onto the hooded demon.

Niffty gasps, "Oh my god! My money! Dang it!" She shouted

Up on Ms Cherri's ship.

"HAHAHA! THOSE WEAK SINNERS WONT DARE TOUCH MY TERRITORY OF DESTRUCTION! A WISE DECISION, THE POWER OF MY EXPLOSIVES ARE UNMATCHED! NOW ONE, ONE COULD COMPARE TO THE LIKENESS OF I!" Ms Cherri laughed. Cherri now wears a ugly red pantsuit.

"Gee, that is pretty good, boss!" One of Cherri's cherryboi yuppie minions said

"Yeah! You really showed them what for!" another Cherryboi said

"I loved it when you blow them up them with your grenade launcher." said a Cherryboi

"I wish she’d shoot me with her grenade launcher." cried a Cherryboi

Another Cherryboy pat his Cherrybrother's back.

"IN A FEW DAYS ILL DESTROY THE ENTIRE EAST SIDE OF THE PENTAGRAM! HELL WILL BE RUINED! AND EVERY ONE WILL FEAR THE NAME OF MS. CH-" Ms Cherri yelled.

"SSSLUT!" A wise guy shouted.

"DAFUQ!? WHO SAID THAT! WHAT DID YOU SAID SHITTY EXCUSE FOR A FRUIT!? SPEAK THE FUCK UP!" Cherri threatened.

A explosive egg bot was YEETED through the windshield and explodes in front of everyone.

Pentious now in patches and his top hat is a now flat cap, jumps through the hole in the windshield, "You looking for a fight, filthy whore? why won't you take your little whore house nonsense of my territory before I sssmasssh it." a support beam falls on to a cherryboi. "more..." Pentious threatened.

"OH YOU WANNA GO GRANDPA!? I HOPE YOU LIKE GUNPOWDER BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU WILL GET!" Cherri shouted while her Cherrybois surround Pentious.

The morning report. Two demons were at the desk. A oppressive suited man with white combed to the side hair and a gasmask for a face. And a frail white blonde woman with red eyes. "Good afternoon! I’m Tommy Trench." Tommy announced.

"And I’m Kate Killjoy. Chaos at a pentagram city today as a turf war is raging on the east side. Between notable Queen pin Ms Cherri Bomb and self-proclaimed wise guy Pentious." Kate reported.

"That’s right Kate! After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!" Tommy reported.

"Those two seem to really be going at it, huh?" Kate repiled.

"Looks like they’re fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot!" Tommy pulls a tooth and nail out of the mug, place them on the desk, and smash them with his fist.

"And I’d sure love to get my hot spot nailed by him." Kate giggles.

Tommy chuckles, "You sure are a big pussy whore, Kate. Or should I say-" Tommy pours coffee onto Kate's crotch -Burnt Pussy."

"Not again!" Kate cried. Kate curled up in pain.

"Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the host of Hell’s 6th most popular radio, who’s here to discuss his brand-new passion project! All that and more, after the break!" Tommy crushes the mug. "Suck it up you little bi-"

Backstage.

Alastor now a lot more tender and tweak like, and Husk which is wearing a withered red and black leisure suit. "Okay. You remember what to say?" Husk ask.

Alastor took a deep breath. "Okay! Let’s do this!"

"Look at me, and I’ll mouth it to you." Husk said.

"Come on, Husker! I know all of the currant slang terms! I just feel like we need to- I don’t know, make things sound more glamour and darb-" Alastor gasp, "Oh! What if I-"

"-sing a song about it?" Husk said.

Alastor chuckles, "You knew I was gonna say that."

"Because you're like a book. But please don’t fucking sing. This is serious." Husk stated

"Well you know, I’m better at expressing myself and my goals through song! It's my job after all." Alastor said.

"But this isn’t like the radio, Al." Husk

"Okay I’ll just have to resort to my impeccable improve skills." Alastor said with a southern bell accent.

Now with Tommy Trench.

Alastor walks up to Tommy. "Hi! I’m Alastor." holds out his hand.

"Tommy Trench." Tommy drops the cigarette and stomps on it. "I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but that's a horseshit lie. You can put that away." Alastor pulls his hand back. "I don’t touch the mixes. I have standards."

"Yeah? How’s uh- how’s that working out for ya?" Alastor asked while a support beam falls down onto a crewman. "Can someone help me!" the crewman screamed in pain.

"Look, my time is money, so I’ll keep this short. We’re not here because we wanted you here, you’re here because Rodney couldn’t make it for his dating show."

Alastor looked past Tommy's shoulder to see Kate rolling her eyes.

"You might be some radio bigshot, but that doesn’t mean shit to me. I’m too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing F list radio host wants to advertise." Tommy got into Alastor's face.

"But I-" Alastor stuttered.

"-So don’t get funny with me buddy, or I will fucking end you." Tommy threatened.

"And we’re live!" A crewman shouted.

Tommy ran back to his seat and Alastor walks to his seat. "Welcome back! So, Alex-" Alastor interrupts, "It’s Alastor."

"Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you’ve been insistently pestering our news station about!" Tommy grips the handgun in his jacket.

Alastor clears his throat, "As most of you know, I have been here in Hell since 1933, and if you remember life wasn't easy back then, but as you can see life is a lot worse here than it was there. I always tried to see the good in everything around me. Hell is my home, and you are my people. We-" Tommy shoots a bug with that handgun. Blood splashes onto Alastor's face. "We just went through another extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I’ve been thinking. Isn’t there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through… redemption? Well I think yes. So that’s what this project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!" Alastor announce.

...

"Y’know? ‘Cause hotels are for people passing through… temporarily."

In a dive bar in the hick part of hell. A bear demon laughes, "Is this guy for real? He thinks, you hear what this city boy thinks? he-' short laugh "-Oh, he’s nuts."

The camera man spoke up. "Stupid nig-"

Husk uppercuts the camera man.

"Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside. I know you do. Maybe I’m not getting through to you." Alastor said

Husk sighs "Oh no."

Alastor snaps his fingers to bring his jazz band in.

♪ We have a dream ♪ ♪ We wish to tell ♪ ♪ And it’s just ball ♪ ♪ ‘Cause you’re one of a kind ♪ ♪ A charming demon belle! ♪ ♪ Now let’s give these burning fools a place to dwell ♪ ♪ (Take it, boys!) ♪ ♪ (Boo!) ♪ ♪ Inside of every demon is a cause ♪ ♪ We’ll dress ‘em up and give them a smile! ♪ ♪ (With a smile!) ♪ ♪ And we’ll chlorinate this cesspool ♪ ♪ With some old redemption flair ♪ ♪ And show these guys some proper class and style! ♪ ♪ (What’s in style?) ♪ ♪ (Oh!) ♪ ♪ Here below the ground ♪ ♪ I’m sure your plan is sound!  ♪ ♪ They’ll spend a little time ♪ ♪ Down at this Happy Ho-- ♪

Random demon: "Shut the fuck up! That is shit!"

Everyone laughs uncontrollably.

"What in the nine circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person? You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good just… because?" Tommy and Kate laughs.

"Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause, and she’s shown incredible progress!" Alastor shouted

"Oh? And who might that be?" Tommy asked.

"Oh, just someone named… Niffty." Alastor replied.

"The porn star?" Kate asked.

Tommy slowly turns around pointing that handgun at Kate. "You fucking would, Kate." Tommy turns back around. "In any case, that’s not even an accomplishment. I’m sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube."

"Oh, I beg to differ. She’s been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for 2 weeks now." Alastor replied.

"Breaking news!" Shouted a crewman

Tommy pushed Alastor away. "We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let’s go to the live feed!"

Shows Niffty kicking Cherryboi ass.

"Di Mi!." Alastor whispered.

"Dee Me indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than-" gasp "-porn actress Niffty! What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid right now." Tommy said

Tommy and Kate laugh. "Ratings!"

Alastor gasped, "Don’t look at this!" He tried to hid the window on the greenscreen.

"Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah? Well- how does it feel that I got your pen, huh? Dick?!" Alastor shouted.

Tommy went silent.

Alastor nervously laughs, "Sorry." Put the pen back.

Kate runs away while Tommy got the flamethrower

Back in the streets

"Hey thanks for the backup, Niffts!" Pentious shouted.

"You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages!" Niffty replied.

Pentious throws a egg bomb. "Where have you been anyways? I thought you died or something."

"Oh I wish! I've been staying at this dirty hotel on the other side of town. Some guys let me stay rent free if I play nice His words, not mine. These assholes are no fun! I’ve been clean for two weeks!" Niffty answered.

"Holy crap." Pentious replied.

"Well, sorta clean. As clean as you can get with a shitload of Bolivian marching powder." Niffty replied.

Cherri whips and ties Niffty up in a vine.

"Oh, harder mommy!" Niffty moaned.

Cherri gasp, "Daughter?!"

Niffty raise the brow in a "Da fuck?" way.

"You douches have no style! In war, the side remembered is the side with the most style." Cherri pop her collar up.

"Or the side that ain’t 6 feet under." Pentious replied.

"Speaking of style, what's up with the colors, it's red this and red that. Is it that time of the month?" Pentious quipped.

"Oh, well, that’s none of your goddamn business, now is it?" Cherri shouted.

"Oh yeah we're not suppose to talk about that." Niffty quipped.

"I’m going to blow you to bits!" Cherri threatened.

"Hm! Kinky!" Niffty quipped.

"Oh, not like that! creep!" Cherri replied.

Cherriyboi shoots at Niffty with a vine net gun.

"Not so cocky now, are we?" Cherri threatened.

"Y’know, you really gotta watch what comes out of your mouth. I’ve been making these sex jokes the whole-" Cherri pulls out a smg "-TIME! And it’s obvious ya ain’t catchin’ on-" Niffty kicks Cherri, takes her gun and shoots at the Cherryboi. "-I mean, it’s just SAD!

"So think you’re gonna get in a lot of trouble for this?" Pentious asked.

"Eh, what’s one little brawl gonna cause?" Niffty asked.

Back in the newsroom.

Alastor and Tommy are going at it fisticuffs, while the flamethrower is blowing fire to the right of the desk.

Kate runs into view of the camera while on fire. "Why won’t anyone help me?!" She screams.

Back in the streets. "Glad ya haven’t changed. You know you’re my favorite gal to party with!" Pentious shouted.

"You know it, you slimy snake. You ready to finish this?" Niffty asked.

"Hell yeah, baby." Pentious answered.

Niffty, Pentious, Ms Cherri, CherryBois, Alastor, Tommy, and Kate yelling in a 4 screen split.

In the Limo driving to the hotel Niffty was playing with the window

Husk carving a wooden steak and giving Niffty the death stare.

Niffty looks up to Husk, "What?"

"What? What?! What were you fucking doing?!" Husk shouted.

Niffty sighs, "Look I owed my snake buddy a solid! Isn’t that a “redeeming quality"? Helping pals with stuff?" Niffty shouted.

"Not with turf wars that result in genocide!" Husk shouted.

"Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred, plus didn't you caused a Genocide." Niffty snickers.

Husk throws the wooden steak at Niffty which pierced throw the window.

"Aw come on, I had to! My credibility was on the line-" Niffty sighs "-I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was trying to go clean? It just throws out my entire persona."

"Your credibility? What about the hotel? Your little stunt made us look like fucking clowns!" Husk shouted.

"No no no, hon. Clowns are funny! I made you look… uh, sad! And pathetic! Like an orphan, with no arms, or legs… Uh… oh, with progeria! Great! Now I’m bummed thinking about it! This thing have any liquor?" Niffty asked.

"Can you please just try to take this seriously?" Husk asked.

"Fine, I’ll try, just don’t bitch to your mother while you're fucking her." Niffty quipped.

"What was that you trying to be?" Husk got up and pulled out his knife.

"Whatever pisses you off the most. Is there seriously no liquor in here?!" Niffty shouted.

"I’m gonna kill her." Husk sat back down.

"Too late, hon. Wait, would that make me double dead? And where exactly do I go, to double Hell? Sorry, you’re stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it." Niffty laughs.

"Fucking bitch!" Husk mumbled.

"Listen, who cares if some jagoffs got hurt? Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around! Got a bunch of fuckin’ harlequin babies down here." Niffty said.

"You’re one to talk." Husk quipped.

"Hey! This body is flawless! Everyone wants some of me, and I’ve got the creepy fan letters to prove it!" Niffty pulls out a letter with stains.

"That was really not swell y’know, Niffty" Alastor said.

"Not Sweel?! After that trainwreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel. All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!" Husk shouted.

"Does that mean I don’t have a free room anymore?" Niffty asked.

Husk pulls the knife out again.

"Ah, well, shucks." Niffty snaps.

"Hey, come on, we don’t know if things are over yet. Try to relax, Husker. It’ll be okay!" Alastor reassured.

At the Happy Hotel

The three open the door. Husk sat down on to the couch to look at his hands, his mind goes back to the war.

Niffty went to the fridge to get a beer. "It’s probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y’know, to feed all the wayward souls ya got in here." Niffty laughed, but then it became nervous laughter, and then she just stops.

Alastor went out to talk to his boss. "Hey Boss. Um, I know I keep calling, and you must want that kale paid back. But um, the interview isn't sitting pretty and... I don’t know if I’m going to make a difference. I don’t know what I’m doing. I could really use some advice, Boss. I think you're right about me. A-anyway, I’ll stop talking before this gets long." Alastor went back in.

A knock to the tune of Come On Eileen was on the door.

Alastor opens the door to see Charlie in her demon form.

"Hell-"

Alastor slams the door, and then open it again to see if he just saw that.

-o."

Alastor slams the door again. "Hey Husker?

"What?!" Husk asked.

"The Musical Demon is at the door!" Alastor nervously answered.

"Holy shit what?!" Husk drops the knife.

"Uh, who?" Niffty asked

"What should I do?" Alastor asked.

"Well, don’t let that bitch in!" Husk shouted

Alastor slowly opens the door.

"May I speak now?" Charlie asked.

"You may-" Alastor said.

"Charlie, pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart, quite a pleasure. Excuse my visit, but I saw your riot on news and I just couldn’t resist. What a performance! Why, I haven’t been that entertained since the Great White show of 2003. Ah so many bodies." Charlie introduced

"Stop right there!" Husk pointed a M16 at Charlie. "I know your game. And I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone here, you spunky, quirky, musical harlot!" Husk threatened.

Charlie laughs slightly, "Hon, if I wanted to hurt anyone here... I would have done so already...." spooky demonic stuff pops up and then goes away. "No, I’m here because I want to help!"

"Say what now?" Alastor asked.

"Help!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Um, you want to help?" Alastor asked.

"With this ridiculous thing you’re trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it." Charlie exclaimed.

"Uh… why?" Alastor asked.

Charlie laughs, "Why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I’ve lacked inspiration for decades! My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless! I’ve come to crave a new form of entertainment!"

"Does getting into a fist fight with a upstage reporter count as entertainment?" Alastor asked.

Charlie laughs, "Absolutely, it's reality.  After all, the world is a stage! And the stage is a world of entertainment!"

"So, does this mean that you think it’s possible to rehabilitate a demon?" Alastor asked.

Charlie laughs, "Ha no. That’s wacky nonsense! Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! Nononono, I don’t think there’s anything left that could save such loathsome sinners! The chance given was the life they lived before; the punishment is this! There is no undoing what is done!"

"So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t believe in my cause?" Alastor asked.

"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure." Charlie stated.

"Right?" Alastor nervously asked.

"Yes indeedy! I see big things coming your way, and who better to help than I…" Charlie exclaimed.

With Husk and Niffty.

"Ah, so uh, what’s the deal with Smiles over there?" Niffty asked.

"Wait, you’ve never heard of her before? You’ve been here longer than me!" Husk shouted.

"Only for a decade." Niffty replied.

"The Musical Demon, one of the most powerful fuckers Hell has ever seen?" Husk stated.

"Eh, not big on politics." Niffty answered.

"Some fuckin' time ago, Charlie was let out of Lucifer's castle she rampaged the fuck out of everything and then she started podcasting her carnage through fucking songs people started calling her, the music demon.. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Strange song and dense numbers would play on the radio paired with terrifying screams and cries for help. She'd force victims to join in and those who wouldn't or couldn't got the worst of it. Sinners started calling her the Musical Demon. (How fucking original!) Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled her to rival our world’s most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing’s for sure: She’s an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos the likes of which we can’t risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased." Husk annoyingly exclaims.

"Bash ears much?" Niffty silently laughs, "She looks like a cinnamon roll princess!"

"Well, I don’t trust her!" Husk spat.

"To be fair, do you trust anyone?" Niffty asked. "Anyone."

Husk went to Alastor.

"Al, man, listen to me. You can’t believe this girl! She isn’t just a happy face! She’s a dealmaker, pure evil! She's Lucifer's daughter! She can’t be redeemed! And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we’re trying to do. And we don't want that." Husk stated.

"I know she’s bad, and I know she probably doesn’t wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can’t.  It goes against everything I’m trying to do. Everything I believe in. I would be like them back then. Just trust me. I can take care of myself." Alastor stated.

"Alastor, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!" Shouted.

"Don’t worry, I picked up one thing from them. “Ya don’t take shit from rich folk!”  Okay, so… Charlotte. You’re sketchy, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a joke. But I don’t. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no tricks or voodoo strings attached." Alastor nervously said.

"So it’s a deal then?" Charlie asked.

Alastor takes a gulp before he shakes her burning hot hands. Her hand burns Alastor's hand like a hot stove. Alastor cries in pain.

Charlie let go of Alastor hand and went to Husk.

Alastor went to the fridge to get something to cool his hand.

"Smile, my boy! You know you’re never fully dressed without one!" Charlie stated. "So where is your hotel staff?" She asked.

"Uh, well…" Alastor points to Husk and Niffty with his good hand.

Husk growls.

"Oh ho ho ho, you’re going to need more than that." Charlie stated.

"And what can you do you quirky cutie?" Charlie asked Niffty.

"I can finger you to heaven." Niffty replied.

"Maybe not..." Charlie said.

"Your loss." Niffty stated.

"Well this just won’t do! I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up!" Charlie snaps, which cleans the fireplace and light up a fire in it. Charlie then pulled out a tall and dark demon from the fireplace. Charlie then shake it a little to get rid of the soot which reveals our white and pink Spider Boi Angel Dust.

"This tall friend is Angel!" Charlie said.

"Hello, my name is angel, it been along time since I saw any guy... IS ANYONE HERE GAY!? sorry, that was rude... OH MY! this place is disgusting, it really need the fabulous touch, which is weird cause I'm sure at least one of you is gay..." Angel went all around the room with his 6 arms cleaning and remodeling everything.

Charlie snaps again.

A gray female demon was at a bar talking to a male demon, "Okay that will be $50 for a hand- wohhhhhh" All kinds of demonic shit goes around Vaggie "¿Que demonios?" Vaggie notices Charlie, "YOU!"

"Veggie sweat heart glad you could make it!" Charlie exclaims and then hugs

"Don't you veggie me! I was working!" Vaggie pushed Charlie away.

"Good to see you to!" Charlie laughed

"What do you want?" Vaggie asked.

"Well sweaty I'm doing some charity work and I took it upon my self to volunteer your Service!" Charlie answered.

"Are you joking!?" Vaggie asked.

"No, I don't think so! I thought you could be the new face of this fine establishment!"  Charlie points to a pole. "With your fine smile and "past experience" this job was made for you!" Charlie stated.

"IM AINT DOING NO CHAIRTY WORK DO I LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF A FUCKING JOKE!?" Vaggie shouted.

"Maybe, but don't worry,I can make it more rewarding, if you wish." Charlie projects all of the cute good times they had back then.

"What!? you can think you can buy me with a wink and some good memories!? Well you can!" Vaggie got up to the stage

"Hey hey, heyheyhey! NO! No pole dancing we're meant to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of… casino, brothel, man-cave-" Husk ranted.

Niffty jumps on Husk. "Shut up! Shut! Up! We are keeping this." Niffty pointed to Vaggie. "Hey." Niffty flirted to Vaggie

"¡Vete a la mierda!" Vaggie said.

"Sounds sexy." Niffty flirted.

Alastor went up the the stage, "Hello there my scantily dressed friend! Welcome to this fine or at least with your help soon to be fine hotel!" Alastor introduced himself.

"I lost the ability to love years ago, so unless you got cash you're not worth my time." Vaggie stated.

"So, what do you think?" Charlie asked.

"This is the Bees Knees!" Alastor bellowed.

"It’s… fine." Husk stated.

Charlie went in for a hug with Alastor and Husk, "This is going to be very fun!" Charlie clears her throat and push Husk away. ♪ You have a dream ♪ ♪ You wish to tell ♪ ♪ And it’s just laughable ♪ ♪ But hey sir, what the hell! ♪ ♪ ‘Cause you’re one of a kind ♪ ♪ A charming pal! ♪ ♪ Now let’s give these burning fools a place to dwell ♪ ♪ Inside of every demon is a waste ♪ ♪ But we’ll dress ‘em up for now with just a smile! ♪ ♪ And we’ll chlorinate this cesspool ♪ ♪ With some old redemption flair ♪ ♪ And show these simpletons some proper class and style! ♪ ♪ Here below the ground ♪ ♪ I’m sure your plan is sound!  ♪ ♪ They’ll spend a little time ♪ ♪ Down at this Hazbin Ho-- ♪

A explosion outside blast the door off and hit Angel.

Everyone walked out to see what was happening

"Ha! Well well well, look who it is harboring the musical freak! We meet yet again, Charlie!" Cherri shouted.

"Do I know you?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, yes you do! And this time, I have the element of- surprise!" Cherri maniacal laughs "I’m so evil!"

Charlie snaps to bring up her goat goons to destroy the ship.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa!" Cherri started to scream as the goats started to destroy her ship and murder her Cherrybois.

Two of the goats grab Cherri and threw her at the wall. "Oh, that hurt!" Cherri screams.

The Goats took control of the ship and pilot it into the cracks where they came from.

The ship explodes when it got into the crack.

"Well I’m starved! Who wants some cake? My father once showed me a wonderful recipe for cake! In fact, they named it after him! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Yes sir, this is the start of some real changes down here!" Charlie laughes

"The show starts! Now... Stay tuned." Charlie snaps changing the sign from, "Happy." to "Hazbin."

[nuttypeachtimemachine]

Jazz, Rock, Blues i to co na ekranach leciało z Hollywood i ‘bliższego’ Zachodu...

Przetrwaliśmy Zimną Wojnę, groźne rakiety balistyczne wycelowane z Zachodu na Wschód i na odwrót. HURAAA! Polska mogła wtedy być (znowu!) ‘teatrem działań’ - ale na szczęście udało się, że nie... Czy to tamto wojsko ‘obrony terytorialnej’ nas uchroniło czy może bardziej bojowe oddziały?

Polska moda na powstania i ‘wojaków wyklętych’ znów ‘na topie’...

Moim prywatnym zdaniem, to nie te mundurki, groźne miny (te twarzowe i te zakopane w ziemi na DDR-owskim przedmurzu berlińskim i granicy z RFN), Mig-i 21 czy inny złom na gąsienicach przełamał w końcu betonowy Układ Warszawski. 

To KULTURA NAS WYZWOLIŁA. I znów wcale nie ta oficjalna, ‘martyrologiczno - polityczno - historczna’ jaką kładli nam w głowy wtedy.  (A której echa brzmią niestety znowu w wykonaniu pewnej Partii, ‘Znów Wiodącej Siły Narodu)...

Kultura spoza szkoły i wartkiego strumienia propagandy. Ta z UKF-u, ‘3-ch kwadransów jazzu’, magicznego programu 'Willis Conover przedstawia', prosto z zakazanego ‘Głosu Ameryki’ transmitowanmy w Pr. IV Polskiego Radia!

http://www.library.unt.edu/collections/music/willis-conover

Jazz i obrazy inne niż nasza szarość był też z kina, z płyt i nielicznych wtedy koncertów innych niż Sopot, Opole, Kołobrzeg, Zielona Góra i inne takie. Ale właśnie ta ‘przemycona’ niejako z Zachodu muzyka działała najlepiej! Nie była zakazana, tyle że b. droga, bo płyty z Zachodu mieli nieliczni...

Jazz z USA i ‘Polish Jazz’ zaraz potem... Jazz, muzyka czarnych niewolników rozmontowująca powolutku PRL nuta za nutą... I wyzwalając nas...

Polski plakat wtedy (i dzisiaj) - najlepszym na to dowodem...

JAZZ

Jazz to muzyka. A może już sztuka ? Początkujący wszystko obstuka. Co wybrać, mainstream, free, tradycyjny ? Początek wydaje się loteryjny. Są jeszcze fusion, latin, jazz-rock. Gdzie więc postawić ten pierwszy krok ?

W co wdepnąć, w dixie, swing, awangardę ? Wzbudzą twój podziw, czy też pogardę ? By zdobyć chęci do poznawania, trza zacząć od łatwego grania.

Każdy ze stylów ma wrogów i fanów, zaś przyszły jazzol nie snuje planów, czy tylko jeden wpadnie do ucha, bo taki ciekawski wszystkiego posłucha.

Z czasem, gdy dylematy prysną, powoli zostajesz specjalistą. A jeśli "classic" swe piętno odcisnął, oznacza, że jesteś już purystą.

Wiedz, dla purystów jedna rzecz święta - mus akustyczne instrumenta. Jak tylko zobaczą pianino "Fendera", to na nudności im się zbiera.

Lecz "Fender" mając dobre wyniki, otworzył drzwi dla elektroniki. Syntezatory się przebijały, mądrze użyte zbierały pochwały. Najpierw był "Moog", a potem "ARP", "Oberheim" - klawiszowców skarb. Pamiętam D6, clavinet "Hohnera". Dziś dawno zapomniana era..

W jazzie królują blaszane, drewniane, fortepian, gitara, reszta - przesrane. Jednak dobrze sięgnąć, od "wielkiego dzwonu", w wieczornym ukojeniu po dźwięki wibrafonu.

Kiedyś, gdy jazzman zaczynał od zera, chcąc kupić sobie saksofon "Selmera", trąbkę "Holtona" czy klarnet "Yamahy", musiał urobić się po pachy. Gdzie tylko się dało, moc chałturzył, jak brakowało, to się zadłużył.

A straight ahead się nie starzeje, bo "Kind Of Blue" wciąż duszę grzeje. Standardy, modern, electric, hip-hop. Taki był Davis. I Miles trzyma top.

Choć wiele sław już dawno nie żyje, jazzowe serce nadal bije. Zostały nagrania, co oczywista. A nieobecni.. To długa lista...

John Abercrombie Louis Armstrong Cannonball Adderley Chet Baker Gato Barbieri Count Basie Art Blakey Michael Brecker Dave Brubeck Benny Carter Betty Carter Ornette Coleman Alice Coltrane John Coltrane Larry Coryell Miles Davis Paul Desmond Duke Ellington Bill Evans Gil Evans Art Farmer Maynard Ferguson Ella Fitzgerald Tommy Flanagan Red Garland Stan Getz Dizzy Gillespie Benny Goodman Stephane Grappelli Johnny Griffin Dexter Gordon Jim Hall Coleman Hawkins Joe Henderson Woody Herman Billie Holiday Freddie Hubbard Milt Jackson Al Jarreau Antonio Carlos Jobim Elvin Jones Thad Jones Barney Kessel Rahsaan Roland Kirk Krzysztof Komeda Didier Lockwood Herbie Mann Carmen McRae Charles Mingus Thelonious Monk Wes Montgomery Gerry Mulligan Charlie Parker Joe Pass Jaco Pastorius Art Pepper Oscar Peterson Buddy Rich Zbigniew Seifert Woody Shaw Zoot Sims Jimmy Smith Sonny Stitt Stanley Turrentine Sarah Vaughan Grover Washington Jr. Ben Webster Phil Woods Joe Zawinul

Znacie kogoś ? Pozdrawiam.     Siwy. ( 23 lutego 2018 )

                                           JA ZNAM!  n.p.:

1. Krzysztof (Trzciński) KOMEDA  (1931–1969)  - lekarz, kompozytor i pianista jazzowy, twórca standardów jazzowych i muzyki filmowej. 

Marek Hłasko i Krzysztof Komeda ‘imprezują’. I niestety nienajlepiej się to skończyło a tak daleko obaj dojechali...

‘Interesowałem się muzyką poważną, potem taneczną, a w czasie studiów zacząłem grać muzykę jazzową zupełnie sam. Jedyną szkołą było radio...’ miał powiedzieć Komeda w wywiadzie n/t swojej kariery.

http://www.jazzarium.pl/przeczytaj/artyku%C5%82y/krzysztof-komeda-niewinny-czarodziej

2. Marek Bliziński (1947–1989) – gitarzysta jazzowy i kompozytor.   

'Nie preferuję gitarzystów, słucham dużo saksofonistów i pianistów. Oczywiście cenię wszystkich wybitnych gitarzystów, od Charliego Christiana począwszy. Czczę Montgomery’ego, podziwiam Halla za jego mądrość, Passa za pełniejsze wykorzystanie gitary jazzowej. Cenię tych wszystkich, którzy rozszerzyli możliwości techniczne i brzmieniowe tego instrumentu'...

A TYMCZASEM....

W 1979 r. 11-14 lipca, w Lubaniu Śląskim pojawił się prawdziwy złoty pociąg... DO JAZZU. 

Muzyczny Camping w Lubaniu... Byłem tam, słuchałem, pstrykałem... Poniżej - OSJAN!

http://eluban.pl/kultura/2034,muzyczny-camping-to-musiala-byc-impreza.htm

Po dużej dawce jazzu i relatywnie niewielkiej namysłowskiego (ciepłego?) piwa (nie mylić z jazzmanem Namysłowskim tam wtedy występującym chyba), koleżce z IVA, niejakiem Głowaczowi Cezaremu udaje się ‘lewitować’. A przynajmniej tak wtedy z uporem maniaka twierdził. Fakt, że technicznie, do lewitacji brakowało mu nie więcej niż centymetr czy dwa nad zdeptaną trawą campingu.

...tymczasem, niejaki Romek Detyna tamże nieopodal, intensywnie i w olimpijskim skupieniu przygotowuje się do próby bicia rekordu lewitacji, sprawdzoną empirycznie metodą doustno - medytacyjno - degustacyjną. Kolor płynu z ORWO-wskiego slajdu, wskazuje na obecność w próbce popularnej Pepsi-Coli lub jej rodzimej wersji znanej pod ‘kultową’ dziś nazwą ‘Polo-Cocta’.

(Bo dzisiaj wszysto z tamtego PRL-u może minus Jaruzel, Kiszczak i Lenin w Poroninie, gdzie ponoć złapał syfilis - jest ‘kultowe’... Cokolwiek to znaczy.)

Z ostatniej chwili:

Do redakcji  nuttypeachtimemachine.tumblr.com  zwrócił się czytelnik:

‘Szanowny Panie, niniejszym skladam wniosek o poprawienie nastepujacych niepoprawnych informacji (tzw. fake newsow) zamieszczonych pod nuttypeachtimemachine.tumblr.com:

"Po dużej dawce jazzu i relatywnie niewielkiej namysłowskiego (ciepłego?) piwa (nie mylić z jazzmanem Namysłowskim tam wtedy występującym chyba), koleżce z IVA, niejakiem Głowaczowi Cezaremu udaje się ‘lewitować’.  ..."

Patrzac na zamieszczone obok fake newsa zdjecie widac od razu, ze butelka jest zamknieta, wiec o lewitacji po piwie mowy nie moze byc. Fakten jest, ze kilkucentymetrowa  lewitacja  (jak juz wspomnialem nie spowodowana piwem)  spowodowana medytacja, miala razem z ta ostatnia spowodowac rozdzielenie zespolu butelka-kapsel w celu udostepnienia zawartosci butelki dla zlagodzenia skutkow choroby wysokosciowej zwiazanej ze wspomniana juz na wstepie lewitacja.

Z powazaniem                                                           Cezary (Lewitujacy) Glowacz

P.S. milo bylo sobie to i tamto przypomniec, dzieki’

Odp. Redakcji:

Wyjaśnienie przyczynowo - skutkowe  jak i podziękowania - przyjmujemy. Niemniej gwoli ścisłości - naruszenie dziewictwa kapselka ciepłego piwa, (zwanego wtedy ‘bączkiem’)  - mogło nastąpić PRZED lewitacją... Ale to jest temat na osobną debatę, z zimnym piwem.

Zapraszamy też do osobistego zaprezentowania umiejętnisci magicznych i paranormalnych 12 maja 2018 w gospodarstwie agroturystycznym w Bogdańczowicach. Liczna publiczność składająca się z niecertyfikowanych ekspertów i ekspertek ‘z epoki’ oraz certyfikowanych zwierząt pociągowych i dojnych - zapewniona podobnie jak napoje i posiłki.

Parametry do wpisania do GPS latającego dywanu ‘ STAJNIA DERA u Stodoły. Gospodarstwo Agroturystyczne Bogdańczowice 21, 46-233 Bąków. ‘ .Obiekt posiada dużą ilość przedmiotów do lewitacji jak ‘grabie, traktory, kozy itp.

Poniżej: Kluczbork, circa 1977. Przebieg zaawansowanego podziemnego eksperymnetu naukowego w wytapetowanym w stylu ‘z epoki’, mieszkaniu przy ul. Waryńskiego. (Adres znany redakcji).

Opis: obiekt na ścianie po lewej to potencjometryczny ściemniacz elektryczny. Osoba z prawej strony ściemniacza elektrycznego to potencjalnie rozjaśniacz fizyczny. Przedmiot lewitujący jest nieznanego pochodzenia ale można przypuszczać z pewną dozą grozy, że jest fragmentem pałki milicyjnej oderwanej siłą woli i kulturą osobistą z ręki zaskoczonego funkcjonariusza w trakcie wykonywania czynności służbowych.

Poniżej, eksperyment innego rodzaju w tym samym ‘laboratorium’: Marek filozofujący

Eksperyment wglądu w duszę Marka

[frostywindmademoan]

The Girl Behind the Counter

ntro: This is an on going Michael fic I’ve been working on. The whole plot will include swearing, sex, and violence.

Chapter 3 (ch1. ch.2 )

That Friday Michael ducked his head into the little shop and was met with (Y/N)’s surprised face. “Michael, I must say you’re a few days earlier than expected.” Michael nervously ran a hand through his hair, making sure it was in place. “I was wondering if you might like to go on a picnic with me?” His heart was beating as wildly as it was when Tommy asked him to cover his warehouse meeting with Alfie Solomons. “A picnic?” She repeated. “Yes.” Michael’s heart was slowly breaking piece by piece with every moment she didn’t accept his invitation.

“A picnic would be lovely!” She finally responded. Michael let out a relieved chuckle. “Wonderful! Can I pick you up at 10 tomorrow morning?” He asked. “Yes you may.” She smiled in response. “Good, well, I’ll see you then!” Michael’s mind had gone blank and he couldn’t think of much else to say. “See you then!” (Y/N) repeated his words. Michael left the shop grinning from ear to ear. She had said yes! Now all he had to do was fix the picnic. This brought a wave of anxiety over him. What did she like to eat? What did she like to drink? What did she like to talk about? He mentally kicked himself for being so nervous. The last time a girl had given his stomach butterflies like (Y/N) did was when he was 14 years old. Seven years later and he was acting like a little school boy again. Less than 24 hours later  Michael was driving north to where there was park with a lake that he knew. In the passenger seat was (Y/N) smiling ear to ear at the prospect of being on an adventure. Michael smiled at her smiling. It was going to be a perfect day, even if it was a bit cloudy and colder than Michael had hoped. It would be perfect with her by his side. An hour later they arrived at the picnic spot and started to unload the car. “As lovely as this backdrop is, it does seem a bit out of the way.” (Y/N) commented while unloading the wicker basket of its fruits, sandwiches, and wine. “Well I just… I thought that maybe…” Michael hadn’t planned on her pointing out the unusual location of the date. Most of the girls he knew would think the distance was simply romantic, not suspicious. “You thought that maybe no one would recognize you?” (Y/N) offered up as an answer while Michael stumbled for words. “You know who I am?” It was a question Michael said as a phrase of defeat. “Everyone in Small Heath above the age of 18 months know who you are.” She giggled. “Your accent doesn’t sound like you’ve been in Small Heath your whole life.” Michael observed. “No, and neither have you. From what I can piece together you moved to the neighborhood not long after I did.” (Y/N) said while pouring two glasses of wine. “Piece together?” Michael egged on while sipping from his glass. “People talk, and people say you grew up out in the country. They say you came back to Birmingham when you were just shy of being a man.” (Y/N) explained. “So what about you then?” Michael asked her. “My mum was from Small Heath, my dad was from good stalk. He married her because he loved her and because it pissed my Grandmother off. My other Grandma didn’t much like my mum marrying out of her stalk, but she could recognize love when she saw it and my parents were in love. I lived with the well to do of my father’s side, but my mum’s family in Small Heath was who I always felt at home with.” She smiled faintly at memories of days gone by with people Michael assumed to be gone too. “What kind of well to do?” Michael asked. “In the last part of the 90’s my Grandmother, a German Duchess, expatriated to England where she happened to meet an expatriated Swedish duke. They married and had three sons, the oldest of which was my dad.” (Y/N) explained. “Was?” Michael questioned. “He died in France, like his two brothers. He died at the Somme.” She solemnly answered. Michael wasn’t sure what to say. So many men died in France, but after hearing who her family was he had assumed she wouldn’t have known anyone there. “That’s the problem with telling people you’re part German. They assume you eat kraut and kiss the Kaiser’s ass.” She said in the silence that Michael’s lack of response caused. “No! No I didn’t assume that you-“ Michael began to say. “No, but you assumed my dad, right? You assumed he wouldn’t have fought for England?” She stared at him. Her eyes were as piercing as Tommy’s. The chill in the wind had made her nose red and cheeks flush. She was so easy to look at. “I did assume, yeah, and I’m sorry.” Michael could no more lie under her gaze than he could Tommy’s. The conversation turned lighter as they drank and ate more. They talked about childhood memories. They talked about their favorite animals. Turns out she was quite the football fan, which amused Michael.  Once the whole bottle of wine had disappeared the conversation lulled a bit. Michael took the chance to once again look at the pink in her wind beaten face. Despite still wearing her lined coat over her emerald dress, (Y/N) shivered. Michael immediately popped up and ran to get the spare blanket from the car which he offered to her. “How are you not fucking freezing? Here, let’s share!” She draped the blanket over both of their bodies, forcing them to huddle close. “So do you live with your mum now then?” Michael, trying to distract his mind from how very pleased he was to have her body so close. “No. Mum died of the influenza when I was 16. I’ve lived with her sister, my Aunt ever since. My Aunt is the only living family I have left, and it’s her shop I run.” (Y/N) explained. “Why do you run it?” Michael kept his steady stream of questions up. “My Aunt is sickly, she can hardly get out of bed. I run the shop in her name.” She explained. “You must have quite a bit of inheritance, being the sole grandchild of two aristocrats, why not hire someone to run it?” Michael tended to look at everything from an accounting viewpoint. “Cause it’s my Aunt’s shop and I’m my Aunt’s niece. Besides, that’s money better kept for rainier days. If there is one constant in life, it’s that there will be more days with more rain.” Michael found this to be a very sensible point of view. “Why are we really here Michael?” (Y/N) asked, catching him off guard. “What?” His jaw hung a bit slack. “You must meet the most fashionable flappers in all sorts of clubs. Why would you take a shop girl on a picnic? Why not just take me to one of those clubs, get me drunk, and have your way with me. Isn’t that what gangsters do?” She asked, very candidly. “Will you think less off me if I told you I’ve had torrid affairs with girls full of whiskey and drugs?” Michael asked with a surprising amount of shame. Usually he wouldn’t give a shit what someone thought of his affairs. “No, I’ve expected that much of you.” She replied. Her answer stung him. “Well I didn’t want to take you to some club and I didn’t want to take some club girl here. I wanted to get to know you cause you’re different from what I’m used to. And it’s hard to get to know people when there is jazz blaring all around.” Michael answered. “You don’t want to fuck me then?” She asked, very simply. “Not here and now. I’d be too worried the whole time about you being cold.” Michael earnestly answered. (Y/N)’s laugh echoed through the silence of the trees. “Well aren’t you just the greatest gentleman!” She chuckled. Michael’s cheeks flushed. Why she was able to bring on such a fiery blush in him he’d never know. “Either way it’s good that you didn’t take me to one of your clubs hoping to fuck. I’m afraid you would have been left quite disappointed. I have a nasty habit of not immediately falling into bed.” She laughed. As she laughed her eyes fixed on Michael’s. They stared at each other for a good long time. Long enough for their breath to sync up under their shared blanket. Michael found his eyes wonder down to her lips where he fixated on them. Like gravitational pull, he was just about to lean in to her when she said, “It’s getting a bit late. Perhaps we should head back.”