#|rp:dabi/todorokitoya;ghostburns|

[coldwordsburningheart]

ghostburns​:

        THE ORIGINAL PLAN was to stay out of his family’s life forever. it was best if touya remained dead to his mother && siblings. how could he ever return to them after everything he’s done ?? everything he’s become ?? even if dabi hadn’t accumulated a body count that reaches the skies, he’s still impossible to look at. the young man is a frankenstein mess of surgical staples && half-heartedly dyed hair. —–but things are different now. their mother’s gone. && shoto is more precariously on the ledge than ever. dabi can’t stay as a ghost anymore.

         when shoto’s hands circle around his own throat, dabi’s first instinct is to stop the boy. although shoto’s wearing the quirk suppressant bracelet, it doesn’t mean he’s without weapons. the boy still has brute physical strength, && something even stronger— pain. grief. anger. guilt. but dabi exercises self-control. if someone wants to go out, then— they’ll go out. or if they decide to live, then they need to make that decision for themselves. people may call that heartless. dabi calls it respect. ( && in this case– it’s even love. ) but relief still floods through dabi when shoto lowers his hands. should he be afraid of the wicked light in his brother’s eyes ?? no. dabi’s only thrilled. ❝ atta, boy. ❞ he tousles shoto’s hair, && gives him a tight hug. ❝ that bastard will experience hell like never before. i promise. ❞

         dabi removes the bracelet from shoto’s wrist. he snatched up the key from one of the guards he took down earlier. dabi pockets the bracelet && key. might come in handy later. ❝ cleared a route for us through the west wing. we have maybe five minutes before the alarms kick back in. let’s go. ❞ dabi leads the way. remnants of bodies && ashes are scattered on the ground. at the end of the route, they take a back stairwell leading to the underground lot. just as they reach a car, the whole place paints with glaring crimson light. ❝ alarms kicking in a little sooner, but we’re still good. ❞ dabi takes the wheel && fucking floors the accelerator. the vehicle speeds out of the building. ❝ you okay with leaving fuyumi && natsuo ?? ❞

Make his - no their - father suffer. If he had one reason to live, then that was it. He had one chance to make his mother happy. Yes. Their mother would have wanted this. She would have wanted the man who tortured her for so many years be punished in the worst way possible. She wanted Endeavor to suffer, like she wanted himself to suffer. At least that was what her voice on his head said. That's what he had to endure almost every day. Her pain. Her cries and screams he had to listen. But now, she was silent. Could that be because she'd find peace soon? Maybe.

Letting go of his brother and once the bracelet was unlocked - he would have wished if it wasn't but they didn't have the time to discuss - he started following him outside. Any other time, what his eyes were seeing - the remains of those burnt bodies - would have caused for him to feel fear and horror. Pain for the lives lost. But he couldn't feel anything anymore. Anything at all. Those lives didn't burden Dabi. Those lives burdened Endeavor. For what he had turned them into. He walked behind him, feeling a little unstable. Those medications and his denial to eat really messed with him. There were many times which he had to support himself against a near wall.

He entered the car. The distance between them and the hospital was getting longer as he stared at the wing mirror. The question made Shoto to turn and look at the villain. He already had died, even if they wished to believe otherwise. It was better like this. They wouldn't have to suffer because of him anymore. “That way, they won't have to visit hospitals for the rest of their lives.” he mumbled. “I don't want Fuyumi to cry anymore.” In her last visit, when she saw how much weight he had lost, she had started crying and begging him to eat. She didn't deserve this. Neither Natsuo.

@ghostburns

[coldwordsburningheart]

regress Q-Q

Send ‘regress’ to meet my muse as a child.

He could look at the older male. Beautiful blue flames had been surrounding them. The boy couldn't remember what had happened or the reason he was in such a dark place wearing those clothes that didn't fit him. The one in front of him had an amazing Quirk. He didn't know if he should have been terrified or fascinated. Hopefully unaware of what the ashes on the atmosphere were from, he walked closer to the other. Worried eyes staring at his burn scars. He didn't know why but even if he usually didn't find it easy to talk to people, he felt something familiar coming from the older one. Even if he was usually scared of others, he felt so close to him.

“Do those hurt?” he asked. He knew how much it could hurt when someone's Quirk burnt their own flesh. He knew how horrible the pain was. Not only from Toya but himself too. The man had seemed to have so many burn scars that covered his body. He felt awful for him. To have such beautiful flames to hurt his own self. “My big brother is hurt from his own flames too” he innocently said. Heterochromatic eyes back on the blue one's. He could remind him of someone. He really seemed a lot like him. “You look a lot like my big brother” he noticed. Why was he so familiar? “Toya has spiky hair and blue eyes too” he explained. He could not help but wonder what they were doing in such a place. Staring around for a moment, he realized he didn't recognize that place. He didn't know how he got there and how to return back home. He then grabbed the other's hand. “I can take you to meet Toya” he softly said. “And my mom. She if going to help you with those burns” he promised. Even if he didn't know the way home, he'd figure it out. He could not let him be in any pain. “I am Shoto”

@ghostburns

[coldwordsburningheart]

ghostburns liked for a starter:

When he lost her, Shoto lost everything he had to live. No matter how hard he tried to move on from his mother's passing, something had died inside him the moment she did too and familiar feelings of his childhood returned. The fear on her eyes, how she hated his left side. He thought that he would be able to come at peace with who he was but that was only if she was alive. Only if she accepted and loved him, he would be able to accept himself but now she was gone and he had nothing to look forward. He couldn't make her proud anymore. He couldn't help her heal. All he had done was to be the reason she left. He was no hero when he hadn't been able to save his own mother from the madness that consumed her and now the same madness had started to consume him too. The obsession that he had to get rid of his left side was rooted on his head and no one could change his mind.

It was late at night that he was sitting on his bed, sinking into his own thoughts. Sleeping pills weren't helping. It had only been a few weeks that he was admitted to a mental institution in order to keep him from hurting himself or others. Bandages were wrapped around his head, covering his left eye which he had tried to freeze with his right hand. Sadly, his eye was saved and now he was wearing a bracelet which would keep him from activating his Quirk. His gaze was lost as memories of the past were replayed on his head. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been alive, his mother wouldn't have to lose her mind. Toya wouldn't have to die and the bastard that called himself his father would not hurt any of them. In the end, he had been the reason his family suffered. If he never had manifested a Quirk, things would be different.

Hearing the door creak open, he didn't turn to look who was standing there. He was lost in thought. His eyes empty as he stared at nothing. It was late at night. No one would have entered his room that late. Only after a long time, he turned his head to look at the male that had been staring back at him. How had he found him? It didn't matter. What did he want? It didn't matter. Was he going to kill him? It didn't matter. He remained silent as he stared at him. It was funny that he couldn't use his Quirk in order to protect himself. Not that he was going to do such a thing. If needed, he was going to beg to be killed. “If you are going to kill me, please make it as painful and slow as you can” he said. His lips formed a small smile. Yes, he could pay for what he had done - and who he had been - in that way. He may could find salvation.

His mother would have wanted that. To die from someone's flames.

@ghostburns

[coldwordsburningheart]

ghostburns:

           ❝ YOU GONNA DIE BEFORE WE SETTLE THE SCORE WITH OUR FATHER ?? ❞ 

            whether it was back during their childhood, or this moment in the institution— dabi only calls endeavor ‘ father ‘ as a form of distancing. there’s no respect to be found. dabi has never sounded more devoid of emotion. it’s not that he doesn’t care. it’s actually the opposite– dabi cares too damned much. but volatile emotions aren’t useful in this situation. he mastered the art of extreme compartmentalization as a child. dabi hasn’t given himself a chance to grieve over their late mother. or how shoto’s gone down a self-destructive path.

            so, no– dabi won’t waste his time mourning. grief doesn’t do shit. not unless you channel it. weaponize it.

           ❝ sorry to break it to you, kiddo. but you’re not the only suicidal todoroki. if you really wanna off yourself– ❞ dabi shrugs a shoulder. ❝ well, that’s your call. ❞ as someone who’s been suicidal, since childhood, dabi considers it selfish to try to keep someone from ending their life. especially when you can’t guarantee that things will get better. shoto’s in pain. this pain that goes deeper beyond just their mother’s death. it’s guilt, trauma && a whole slew of other fucked up demons that can’t be exorcised. ❝ but while you’re still alive, there’s a chance to make things right. it’s the least we can do for mom. ❞ there’s a measure of silence. shoto’s sharp as hell. the kid will connect the dots. right ?? who else other than the eldest todoroki sibling would hunger for revenge against endeavor ??

            dabi steps closer to the bed. he gestures at the Quirk suppressing bracelet. ❝ imagine making that permanent. ❞ the corner of his lips quip into a grin. staples pull at skin. ❝ endeavor’s whole sense of self, purpose && worth is built on his Quirk. death is too generous, too kind for him. he deserves far worse for what he did to mom, fuyumi, natsuo– ❞ dabi holds his hand out. ❝ –&& you, little brother. i’m sorry i couldn’t stop this back then. we can do it together now. or i can leave, && you don’t ever have to see me again.  ❞

Their father? Why did he say that? Eyes opened wide for a moment but he couldn't look at him anymore. Head bowed as he listened to him carefully he felt like he was about to break down. No. Dabi couldn't be Toya. He couldn't be his dead brother. Toya had died a long time ago. Toya had been lucky enough to get away. Could the medications be messing with his head? Could he possibly be dreaming? What if this was a horrible nightmare he couldn't wake up from? It made sense. Those familiar blue eyes and those burns. It made sense. He wasn't losing his mind. He was there. The one he had thought he could save was there.

He didn't dare to raise his head. Tears had started to fall from his eyes. He wasn't making a sound. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He had not only lost his mother but he had lost a brother because of that bastard. He had lost a brother which had chosen darkness over this hell they all had to endure. If he was stronger, he could have saved them all. If he never had manifested a Quirk, none of this would have happened. The death of his mother which he had to live with had been added with knowing what path Toya had been forced to follow. It was like he could feel his father's hand being wrapped around his neck and his hold only tightened as time passed. Now he couldn't even breathe. He was gasping for air when he placed his own hands on his own neck. He was suffocating. He had lost everything. There was nothing to live for.

‘There's a chance to make things right’. He let go of his neck in that moment taking deep breaths. There was a chance for him to pay? There was a way to make Endeavor suffer enough? Staring back at him - at the villain, at his brother - he listened to every word he had to say. They could take his Quirk. Let him drown in pain and misery. Take everything that mattered to him and force him to lead a life that he was no one. Break him like he had done to their mother. That was justice. That was the only way. The only reason to live. He nodded. For first time after a long time there was some kind of sick excitement on his eyes. “I want him to suffer until his last breath” he said with a wide smile on his face, standing up. Facing him. “Let's do it together...” he said. Hands were wrapped around him in a moment. Holding him as tight as he could. It was wrong to say he had him back. That he had found his brother because he knew that Toya was dead as himself was.

“Let's do it”

@ghostburns