#||××𝕋𝕖𝕟-𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕤××||

[corvid-lullaby]

"Aren't you going to join them? They're your close companions, right?"

Normally such a question would have made Shiki's attention snap towards the other with a spark of shock and confusion. After all, as aloof as he normally was, there were these few he had such a special bond towards that he could be close without discomfort. These few where he could bare to let his guard down towards and be himself.

Not a cold hearted murderer.

Not a cannibalistic monster.

Just himself in the truest sense.

And yet here he was, withdrawn, and looking towards his comrades with a drowned weariness.

They were laughing and enjoying themselves. This was something that once forced a bitterness to rapidly swell within him whenever it was perceived. Lately it actually brought a genuine smile to his face, be it a bit crooked due to its lack of practice. Now... He couldn't help that they didn't look towards him anymore.

Slowly but surely he had noticed that he felt... not quite unwelcomed, but rather unimportant. Mayhaps uninteresting? Was it because he no longer caused them trouble? Was the care he was finally able to give rendered redundant? The old crow couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he certainly felt and saw it--despite his best efforts.

The rivalry he had between himself, the Scions, and the Warrior of Light has ended. The effects of relief, hope, and change had run its course to give way to the settling of the average day of life. They still approached him in mutual greeting or if they needed an extra hand... but the spark was gone. He simply existed and he could feel himself being snuffed out.

'Then watch me step back into the darkness.

There, where there is no one and therefore loneliness nor envy can no longer embed its fickle fangs into my flesh.'

He smirked to himself as an answer finally slid through like a slug from a drainpipe,

"I'm gonna be okay."

[corvid-lullaby]

The Fourth Folly

Hope.

This isn't such a fragile thing as some would have you believe. Nay, it's something rough you have to build for your own. It breathes as its own entity. It can be beaten, bloodied, and bruised, but it can just as likely heal and callous over with enough nourishment. It can raise you up in the most dire moments and become your own hallowed ground.

You grasp for it. You fight for it.

But what if it were all for naught? What if, regardless of how much you clung to it, it continued to slip through between your battered fingers?

You, who once was filled with hope in your eyes.

You, who are a cursed soul.

You, who's death rattle was the final kiss upon your lips many a times.

Trust and love used to come to you so easily. As each betrayal stole another life of yours, you denied that it harmed your morale. Instead you forged ahead. Each turn of your soul withered your hope. You must have been blessed to some degree to have held out through thousands of your spent lives.

Each death of a crow must be accounted for:

One for Sorrow,

Two for Mirth;

Three for a Wedding,

Four for Humanity’s Death;

Five-Hundred for Flesh,

Six-Hundred for Bone;

Seven-Hundred for a Soul,

Not to be Left Alone;

Eight-Hundred for Euphoria,

Nine-Hundred for Eternity,

And Ten-Thousand More for an Unattainable Divinity

How are you now little crow? How do you fare with that broken wing of yours?

This is a chapter list for Shiki's FFXIV verse. Each verse of the counting poem will eventually link to a story as they're released:

Once an Ancient who studied death and how it promoted evolution for survival, he would go through a downfall through an accident at the hands of the Warrior of Light. With a soul malformed through self experimentation while under the influence of Althena and the Heart of Sabik, the Sundering was unkind to him. His soul could not be split while his flesh could. In turn it caused his body to repeatedly be rendered apart only to reform itself around the soul. Eventually his own creations were caught into it and would leave him as a grotesquerie.

A monster, but only by his looks.

While his soul and--technically--his body survived, the trauma would prove too much to let his memories live. He would awaken on the Source in its earliest dawn. Still kind, still gentle, but sadly his actions will not defend him from the many stones that would soon be cast upon him.

After all, if it looks like a monster then it must be a monster, correct?

He would also soon find out that death will not be his escape. Each rebirth would come with his memories intact. Each death meant a fray on his mentality.

And so, these writings will follow the lives he has lived that has impacted him the most, and how a kind soul has rotted so deeply.

They say that it takes ten thousand lives to reach enlightenment.

[corvid-lullaby]

××𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕤××

{××ℂ𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕚𝕓𝕒𝕝'𝕤 𝔽𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕥××} : All IC Posts

{××ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕕 ℍ𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕖××} : Role Play Posts

{××𝕆𝕗 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕗𝕖𝕝𝕥 𝕍𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕥××} : Drabbles & Other Writings

{××ℂ𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖 𝔹𝕦𝕣𝕟××} : Headcanons & Misc Info

{××𝕌𝕟𝕘𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕕××} : Misc Asks & Mentions

[××𝕊𝕞𝕠𝕜𝕖 𝔹𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜××] : OOC Posts

[××ℂ𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥××] : My Art, Vids, & Screenies

[××𝔸𝕥 𝔾𝕦𝕟 ℙ𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕥××] : Various Prompts

[××𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕒𝕕𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕣××] : Aesthetic Posts

[××ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟 | NSFW××] : NSFW / Explicit / Extremely Horrific Posts

||××ℝ𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕂𝕖𝕥𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕤××|| : Devil May Cry Verse

||××𝕋𝕖𝕟-𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕤××|| : FFXIV Verse

||××𝕊𝕖𝕔𝕋××|| : Like A Dragon Verse

||××ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕆𝕗 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕦𝕝××|| : Other Verses

Link to old tag list

[corvid-lullaby]

"Is that how you really feel? You love them, don't you-"

"You can FUCKING mind your own goddamn busi-"

The old Crow snapped his head towards his assailant, but who he saw made him freeze. It was a face that mirrored his own, but far more gentle in appearance. Human, infact. A face from bygone, ancient, times and one that he has long forgotten about.

Just as he was able to recognize it, just as quickly did the being fade and vanish. There was no one there but himself.

Suddenly his attention was torn towards the others nearby. Did they hear him yelling at nothing? It wouldn't be the first time that's for sure. Thankfully, it didn't seem like any of them did so much as glance in his direction.

Thankfully?... No. In all honesty he was hoping they would. He hoped one of them would come to check on him like they used to. There wasn't any of the sort. Not even a glance. That realization made something unfamiliar tighten in his chest. It swelled, but then it withered into a pin point pain in his gut.

He wanted to vomit. He wanted to purge these emotions straight out of his own mouth. The urge was so great that he could taste the acidity lingering with the growing saliva.

The last of the Scions arrived. Thancred. He looked worn and weary, clearly having been rushing himself to join the festivities in time. The Tengu was the first to notice the companion since he appeared next to him. The fair haired Scion's gaze was fixated on the group before him.

Shiki could feel the corner of his mouth tug into a hopeful smile. After all, he often greeted him with a playful ruffle to the head and follow with drunken banter with him. His drinking buddy, so to speak. He used to anyway, but maybe tonight would be different.

"Yo, you're late-"

It was not.

After Thancred had straightened himself out, he continued forward to join the others. He didn't seem to hear Shiki's welcoming at all.

And, just as the others, not a single glance was offered to the ex-villain.

And, just as before, that anvil once again weighted down within his chest.

Quietly, that pain was swallowed down. He continued watching the others in silence while his mind swam through a sea of thoughts, longings, and wishes. A sea so great that it threatened to overflow from eyes that has never cried in years. He felt like a dog that laid upon the porch that waited hopefully for his master to return... Only to find that master to rush past him.

The party went on. Laughing mingled with tales and shared affection between friends. It grew into a lovely glow before it began to quiet down for the night.

If anyone bothered to look for the local monster, which he doubted with great ease, they would find him gone. Never to be seen again.

Love is something you fight for indeed. But, for some, it's a war that they can never win.

For some, being alone is far less painful.

"Aren't you going to join them? They're your close companions, right?"

Normally such a question would have made Shiki's attention snap towards the other with a spark of shock and confusion. After all, as aloof as he normally was, there were these few he had such a special bond towards that he could be close without discomfort. These few where he could bare to let his guard down towards and be himself.

Not a cold hearted murderer.

Not a cannibalistic monster.

Just himself in the truest sense.

And yet here he was, withdrawn, and looking towards his comrades with a drowned weariness.

They were laughing and enjoying themselves. This was something that once forced a bitterness to rapidly swell within him whenever it was perceived. Lately it actually brought a genuine smile to his face, be it a bit crooked due to its lack of practice. Now... He couldn't help that they didn't look towards him anymore.

Slowly but surely he had noticed that he felt... not quite unwelcomed, but rather unimportant. Mayhaps uninteresting? Was it because he no longer caused them trouble? Was the care he was finally able to give rendered redundant? The old crow couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he certainly felt and saw it--despite his best efforts.

The rivalry he had between himself, the Scions, and the Warrior of Light has ended. The effects of relief, hope, and change had run its course to give way to the settling of the average day of life. They still approached him in mutual greeting or if they needed an extra hand... but the spark was gone. He simply existed and he could feel himself being snuffed out.

'Then watch me step back into the darkness.

There, where there is no one and therefore loneliness nor envy can no longer embed its fickle fangs into my flesh.'

He smirked to himself as an answer finally slid through like a slug from a drainpipe,

"I'm gonna be okay."