#| This... is my warning | (Do NOT reblog)

[xxthunderthedragonxx]

its not hard to click someones profile before you follow them btw

[mellosdrawings]

noooo not the n2 ship 😭 omg people can be so weird sob sob you have more drawings of them as adults and frankly why does it even matter?!? it's not even an illegal ship sob (eg. incest or smth else that normally turns heads in fandoms) if you don't like it, don't read it???? (i personally like it tons!)

-🥬

(About this post)

Well, you know, it's the usual Leojami age difference discourse. I just delete those comments anyway, but I'm glad you like the N2 squad :3

I won't develop too much since I don't want this blog to be about discourse (I'm giving my opinions plenty on my sideblog) but here's what I think about these topics:

-I'm vehemently anti-censorship. I don't think something shouldn't ever exist and I will never push for something to be censored, even if it's stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I think warnings about particular contents are great, but in the end it's my responsibility to curate my experience with banning # and blocking people, etc etc. Even illegal stuff should be portrayed. If people can draw/write about murderers and conmen without a fuss, then they can also do that about taboo/illegal sexual topics. Depiction is not endorsement.

-I believe the reader/viewer is the one who injects meaning to art/stories. I'm an artist and all the things I do mean something, but that meaning doesn't prevail over the meaning my viewers inject in my art. I regularly see people "misreading" my comics in the tags, but it doesn't matter. Their interpretation is just as valid as mine, and if they wanna see ships where I didn't mean to draw ships, or if they interpret a scene as negative when I meant for it to be positive, then it's either my role as the content creator to be more explicit/obvious with what I meant, or to simply let my viewers have fun however they want with my stuff. I don't believe in the "there's only one valid interpretation and everybody who thinks otherwise is wrong".

(That's also why I don't really believe in DNI. People you disagree with will interact with your stuff anyway, caring about those things will just anger and tire you for nothing. I try to avoid interacting with people who have DNI that probably include me? But considering "proship" means anything and nothing it's hard to tell whether N2/LeoJami is considered a proship or not.)

Tldr: I'm anti-censorship and I think everybody should make and enjoy the content they want, even if it's topics that are usually frowned upon. Imagination is the one place one should be able to go hogwild without fearing retribution.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s2

when they aren’t supposed to talk to each other anymore in the first episode because the x files were disbanded, so they came up with a code to know when to meet up

(and mulder at first is very annoyed that she wants to risk being seen with him because she’s deeply concerned about how distant he’s acting… “so what did you want?” “to see if you’re alright”. him trying to grapple with being cared for vs her trying to figure out why he won’t let her in. yeah.)

((and she runs her fingers through his hair at this covert meeting, after he confesses he’s lost all faith))

when she finds him, in the same episode, passed out on the floor of a random puerto rican jungle compound, and he grabs her by the shoulders, saying he saw the same aliens that took his sister

another covert meeting in episode 2, after moody mulder thinks he was moved to a case just to keep him busy: “is this seat taken?” she asks. “no, but I should warn you I am experiencing violent impulses” “well, i’m armed, so I’ll take my chances”

(and right after, when he said he wants to leave the FBI, but working with her is his only reason to stay)

“i’d consider it more than a professional loss if you decided to leave” <- sobbing. for ten thousand years.

episode 3, when she flew 300 miles in the middle of the night to draw his blood. couldn’t anyone else have done that? no. it needed to be Her.

(there’s another, very brief scene towards the end of episode 3, where she peeks over his shoulder and the height difference is incredible)

scully stopping her class because she gets a call from him, then flying up to New York to do an autopsy for him. and when they see each other they both smile SO big it’s adorable, even as she is holding a human stomach. krychek seems confused. he wouldn't understand, would he?

and then flying in AGAIN to try and help mulder during his hostage negotiation with duane barry in episode 5, getting furious when she is told to “calm down” while he is in danger

when she finally wakes up from her coma in episode 8- how she yells at her mom for calling him “fox”, how he brings her a VHS tape of superbowl highlights and she deadpans “i knew there was a reason to live”

(and he finally gives her necklace back- but then he leaves, despite wanting nothing more than to stay by her side, to let her be with family)

in episode 9, when they are finally back together, mulder tries to get her to stay home from this investigation to keep her safe, because he's terrified of her getting hurt again: “scully, i don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go”, he says, but she’s too stubborn to be stopped, and he realizes it’s an impossible fight

(later, they engage in an intense scientific argument over the existence of silicon based life forms, and it feels deeply charged)

another reassurance in episode 9 that she is okay despite what she has gone through: “i’m back and I’m not going anywhere” (shoulder grab!!!!) “i'm counting on you” (lingering eye contact!!!!)

when he returns from his mission to find scully handcuffed, having just saved herself with some quick thinking, and she has to comfort HIM at the sight of her in distress: “i'm okay, i’m okay”, she repeats, while he gently grabs her face, and seems to ignore everything she is saying to ask if she’s alright

(and the month long quarantine that ensued, which we saw none of, but the fact that it happened at all is lovely to me)

sharing an umbrella in episode 10!!!!! it’s really the simple things in life you know!!!

going out on a rib date… he wipes the sauce off of her face, then goes into explaining how a new spirit can take over a body

when mulder’s sense of injustice is going off that episode, so he leaves the restaurant to defend a kid being bullied, and when scully follows the mean kid taunts him by saying “why don’t you run along with the little wife?” and neither of them react (except for a few moments later when he’s staring intently at her, and it looks like he is considering the possibility)

(bursting into her motel room) “scully? you’re not gonna believe this” <- he said the line!!!! (and she could believe it, because she had figured it out on her own)

exchanging theories on murders and repression of memories: “i seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches”, she says, and he replies “i never have”. they both smile in the quiet of driving along a small town road.

when mulder narrowly escapes having his throat slit, and after scully nearly shot the woman holding him hostage, she runs to him and carefully cradles his head while he’s still on the floor…. oh the tenderness. i actually might fall apart.

thinking they will have free time on their trip to Minnesota in episode 13, he bought them tickets to a football game <3 and they didn’t get to go but it was SUCH a nice thought

mulder noticing that scully is in extreme distress while looking at the victims of the killings in episode 13,  but trying to give her space to admit that she is terrified; “scully, if you’re having trouble with this case, I want you to tell me” “I’m not having trouble”, she lies, and he answers “i just don’t want you to think you have to hide anything from me” oughhh.... </3

and when the killer who terrified her so awfully kidnaps her, and mulder arrives to find her, she insists that she’s okay despite shaking like a leaf, until he lifts her chin up. only then does she start sobbing into his chest, while he mumbles “it’s alright, it’s alright” to her. ohhh, the vulnerability hits hard here, especially because she had just said she didn’t want him to feel like he had to protect her! as if there was ever going to be any other option; he is the protector and he will protect what he loves, it’s all he knows

taking the little kid they meet at the refugee camp in episode 15 to get lunch, because one thing these two are gonna do is get any youth they encounter some food. and mulder gives him money for extra fries because he WILL spoil any random child.

she cuts her hand on a thorny branch left in their car, and when mulder says “let me see that”, she replies that it is nothing, trying to deny him any chance to be concerned. then when she starts feeling very ill, she keeps telling him its fine, because for some reason the doctor cannot doctor herself.

(he goes off to get the bad guy, and she is in the car hallucinating. when she finally breaks free from the clutches of evil, he’s lying on the ground, having been… like, psychically stabbed? and still. his first question when he sees her is. “you’re okay?” aughhhhhhhhh)

that time mulder was actively dying of alien poison in episode 17, so she barged in and started yelling at the doctor to get his shit together, because she knew what to do and he didn’t. and she manages to save him.

mulder agreeing to trade who he thought was his sister for scully in a hostage deal, then saying he couldn’t have told her it was his sister because he knew scully would never have let him go through with it... the terrible pain of knowing somebody so well, you know they'd endanger themselves for you...

after scully saves his life by figuring out how to treat his alien poison, she stays by his bed and gently strokes his hair. and when he opens his eyes, she was holding his arm. she smiles and says “thanks for ditching me”, to which he replies that he found his faith again (<3)

seasick mulder fumbling for words in episode 19, while she tries to see if he's feeling any better: “you’re lucky you inherited your father’s legs” “what?” “his SEA legs” (scully laughs while he is in ocean-induced misery)

when they take shifts watching the suspicious guy on the boat that makes you old, his alarm goes off to indicate his shift was over. he goes to wake scully up and switch off, she mumbles something about having just fallen asleep, and he offers to give her a little bit longer to rest. so sweet.

exchanging magic tricks while investigating the sideshow performers in florida in episode 20- her making it look like the cricket came from behind his ear, him pretending to make the nail suddenly appear

“we’re exhuming your potato” “may i ask why?” (she goes into a convincing explanation on searching for evidence, he ruins it by interrupting to say “we found out you used to be a dog-faced boy”)

episode 21: “see, this is a helium balloon, and the one thing i did learn in kindergarten is that when you let them go, they float up, up, and away” “did you learn about wind in kindergarten?” (she is funny and she doesn’t get enough credit for that!)

and episode 24: iI just came up with a sick theory, mulder” “ooh, I’m listening”

mulder brushing her hair back, asking if she is okay after nearly getting decapitated

and who can forget episode 25, the season finale, when mulder is collapsing into her arms, delirious with fever and covered in his father’s blood; she lays him down in her bed, placing a cold compress on his forehead. “we’ve got to find out who killed my father” “right now you need to rest. it’s okay” what if i started yelling

him waking up after she had to put him in a coma for damage control: “you shot me >:(” “yes, i did” (patiently explains how she saved his life about 3 times in 72 hours, including by shooting him)

him thanking her for taking care of him; her asking him to find out what the files he's determined to understand say about her disappearance

[cozystars]

I don’t know if I’m finishing this one cause I’ve lost the motivation to, but I’ve been sitting on this. Here’s what’s there.

Since folks also don’t? Read the tags? The songs sweetest pie by Megan thee stallion and dua lipa

[girlwiththegreenhat]

god why are there so many of these shitty bots lately. enjoy getting banned for phishing, shitstain

remember lads, it's report > report something else > unlawful uses or content > phishing! 💖

How to Identify Pet Bill Scam Asks

(please reblog the post linked above, I still see people reblogging these scam posts because they don't know they're horse shit!)

[windrelyn]

I have no problem with WonLili of AnY (I don't ship them, but I think they are cute), but this WonLili fan is SO annoying and rude. They keep reblogging my LotR art of my OTP Glorestor with the captions and tags of WonLili, though I've politely asked them once to not do it. I can't stand it anymore. They deserve to be blocked. 

[katebeckets]

cw: suicide //

September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day. It always makes me think of these pictures that were taken about five years ago. Even though they’re pictures of me, and it’s an experience I literally lived through, it’s still always so jarring to me.

These are from the day I was hospitalized on a 5150, taken just about 6 hours apart. It was a Friday. Before I was hospitalized, I went to all my classes, went to work (where they took the picture on the left), walked through campus and my college town to get dinner, and tried to talk myself into sleeping instead of asking for help or support.

Nobody knew what was going on. This was the third day of secretly crying whenever people weren't looking. I cried walking between classes, in class, during breaks at work, and at home in my room. The only people who knew were the ones directly involved in getting me to the hospital that day. And, if I'm being honest, even I didn't know how bad it was. Reflecting back on this experience as a therapist myself, I know I would've made the same call as everyone else in my life that day (that I needed more help than they could give). But the only reason I agreed to go to the hospital that day is because I was 100% certain they were going to look at me and say "what are you doing here? Go home. There's no reason for you to be here." Because nothing was wrong (I was just inconsolable and completely incapable of regulating my emotions).

We say it all the time, that you can't tell what someone is going through just by looking at them. We all know that. But somehow, this still shocks me. The photo on the left is me helping a kiddo at work. It's such a normal photo of me; I have my usual makeup on, I'm in the classroom, I'm focused on the kiddos in my class. The one on the right is me without makeup, not because I hadn't put on makeup that day or because I washed it off, but because I had literally cried it all off at that point.

I know that I am not the first and will certainly not be the last to experience something like this, and nothing I've said is particularly profound or insightful. But I share this anyway, a potential reminder for anyone who needs it:

People can struggle without anyone knowing. Your hurt is valid even if nobody can identify it. It doesn't mean you're faking it.

Every tired, irritating cliché is true: things can get better, but you have to still be here to see it.

"Better" doesn't always look the way you think it does. "Better" might just mean that, more days than not, you want to be alive. Or maybe even that more days than not, you don't want to be dead.

Feelings are not reliable or factual narrators. They are valuable and valid, but not always accurate.

Mostly, I share this because I want anyone who needs it to know that they know someone who has experienced this. You can ask me questions or ask for help or just say hi; I truly don't mind. And because everything I do involves playlists, here is an updated version of a playlist I made a few years ago when I first spoke about this experience.

💜

[sleepyblr-heart]

a bunch of gasa4(sc) doodles ive done in whiteboard fox over the past. 2 days.

(the last 2 are redraws from this post from almost exactly 2 years ago! im back in the fucking building again! goddamn!)

[cloudbends]

for college reasons, if anyone has any ideas/recommendations for art or media that have to do with themes of communication, technology, human consciousness/subconsciousness, connectivity and network culture, fracturing of the self and society etc. that is NOT serial experiments lain. please please PLEASE send it my way. Can be of any medium.

[beananium]

taught him how to be rude. sorry

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

as you all know, i'm new to the x files. so i might be about to swing a well-swung bat at a classic hornet's nest. this is something i only apologize for a little.

poll will last for one day so make that vote count

[misslisamiray]

Y'know, since the Spike pic popped up in my FB memories recently, I HAD to do a side by side of me at 19 in my first cosplay and me at 40 in my most recent cosplay.

Also, "Unmortricken" was on at 3:30 A.M., and after that I watched the last two episodes of Cowboy Bebop. So I'm very in my feelings about all of that (and these pictures).

And I need to make it everyone's problem before I have to start getting ready for the blood center.

Also, for Tumblr only, here's something you may not know: The Adult Swim premiere dates for "The Real Folk Blues" are November 18th, 2001 (Part 1) and November 25th, 2001. (Part 2). The original airdate of "Unmortricken" is November 12th, 2023.

So while the actual premieres are over two decades apart, the anniversaries are super close to each other. I need mutuals who are in both of these fandoms to just... be insane over that the entire month of November with.

[tsundereition]

omg guys proshipper isn't "basic dni criteria", like that list is supposed to represent actual irl issues(*), not some 2020 internet discourse. you guys are so annoying like if you're uncomfortable interacting with proshippers i understand and respect it, although you probably have a very twisted idea of what the word means (would make a separate post abt it but there are hundreds already). but please don't equate it to actual crimes. (*)also do you seriously think that a bigot troll is going to read your dni and be magically expelled from your strong aura. if anything it's going to make them want to harass you more. it's obvious that those lists are just a pose like "if i don't put racists dni they're gonna think i'm racist" NO aaagh you don't have to over-specify(?) everything about you when interacting online can we please go back to being normal istg. reject modernity embrace not writing a dni list and just blocking people like a normal person <3

[schrodingers-hoarding-problem]

alrighty gifmakers watch out because im on the hunt for ten thousand gifs of huaien smiling

[jouta-eggboybeloved]

I miss my son.

(Tags)