#| I've been thinking about this all day Wilder ily

[belovedcorvidarchive2024]

in the early hours of valentine's day, a sizeable tin of umeboshi and a letter had been left outside the heart executive's door.

roci,

oh, don’t look so disappointed. it’s not as if you’ll be receiving anything else from anyone today.

but, to ensure you aren’t sulking by the time i bring my guests over for the evening, i decided i should offer you at least something. you’re so demanding, you know that? like a houseplant that wilts if he doesn’t get his quota of attention and affirmation every few days.

you haven’t changed at all. i didn't know what to think about that when you first arrived. that sentiment is both infuriating and reassuring to me. i hate the way you hesitate when i ask you to show some backbone for once and finish the job. i hate the way the line of your mouth wiggles and makes it so obvious you just want me to let someone go—like just roughing them up is enough of a punishment for disrespecting you. even now, i have to write you this stupid letter because i know you think i’m still angry with you over our argument last night and i have to placate your feelings by insisting i’m not.

but you’re familiar, and this whole life change for us has taught me familiarity is all that matters sometimes. at least this way i don’t have to waste time getting to know you all over again. those frustrating tics of yours, that nauseating look you give me when you want to spend time together but are too meek to say it, the way you trip and make a fool out of yourself in every room you walk into—these are things i remember. things i recognize. it's all the worst parts of home, but it still feels like home.

there’s relief in having you here. finally, finally: instead of things being taken from me, i got something back for a change. and, annoying as you are, i’m glad it’s you. my life felt a tad less interesting without a disaster of a little brother to take care of.

do not reference this letter to me, because i know you will. next time with make eye contact, you’re going to give me that dumb, soft look and fiddle your hands like you’re waiting to give me a hug. and then you’ll say ‘thank you’. for what? i told you i'm only writing this so you won't complain. thanks aren’t warranted, nor do i want them. just let words be words, brother.

　no directives for today. enjoy yourself. however it is you do that.　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　- doffy

❣ | Unprompted :: Always Accepting |

---

Rocinante spent a lot of time looking down in the direction of his feet, mostly to try and make sure he placed them carefully in an effort to fall less often - with mixed success. Today it was a good thing he did because he nearly tripped over a tin right outside his door, a letter at the top written in his brother's easily recognised handwriting but pink feathered coat nowhere in sight. Hm, to open or not to open that right away; it was still so early in the day, did he really want to start it in this fashion? Something about curiosity and a dead cat comes to mind, but doesn't stop him from heading back into his room and locking the door behind him. Placing the tin on the desk in front of the window, he took a seat and lit a cigarette. It was so early, but he had a feeling he would need it.

A personalised peak into the abyss of his brother's troubled mind, framed as something that was his fault, was a very Doffy gift to receive.

By the end of the letter he sighed a heavy sigh and buried his face in his hands, letting himself tip slowly forward until his forehead rested on the letter, on the surface of the desk. His heart hurt, because as much as this read like an unhinged slap in the face he knew that to Doffy this was probably meant in earnest, meant to be helpful, and that was sad. He felt sad, felt pain for his brother and that was perhaps the worst part of all. For what kind of person did you have to be, to still hold love in your heart for someone that hurt people the way Doffy did, for someone that did the things he did to people he had loved? Pathetic at best, just as demented as Doffy at worst. It's gross, it's pathetic. A realisation that is not new, but rears its head in moments like this: he is out of his depth. In over his head. With a steadying breath, he blankets the area in silence and retrieves a snail from his pocket.

. . .

" Arare, it's me. "

. . .

" I haven't gotten to it yet. Any news ? "

. . .

" Yes, I got the last message. "

. . .

" No no, nothing to report. I just . . . Sorry, nothing's wrong. I guess I just wanted to hear you talk. That's all. "

[ramblingsofachristiannerd]

Ahh I love sending ask prompts!

For the writing ask game, as many as you’d like to answer: 1, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 17, 23, 40, 51, 73.

and i love answering prompts, so i'll go with all of them XD thank you friend ily <3333

do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

kind of both tbh XD for long fics, i usually have an ending in mind, but the middle...is stumbling through the figurative wilderness haha. i'll generally have a rough outline, but it's still a lot of filling in. i was about halfway through Crimson and Steel before i finally had an outline for each individual chapter, but i've had the ending planned from day one

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

i literally don't even remember, it was so long ago haha. i've been writing since i was in seventh grade filling in my little cringe notebooks, and daydreaming scenarios in my head long before that XD i think the first time i put pen to paper was star wars fanfic? it might have just been an "anakin lives" scenario i think lol

9. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

Yes! my mind is super visually-oriented, so i usually write chapters like they're episodes in a tv series anyway. if Crimson and Steel were to be adapted somehow, i think i'd like it to be animated (and the format of it works better as a tv show)

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

i learned a lot about the New York irrigation system writing the Lizard chapters of Crimson and Steel XD like where the city gets most of its water and stuff. and it depends; i don't want to make a glaring error, but if i'm getting too frustrated then i remind myself that i never fact check fanfics i read anyway, so most people probably don't care. if it stops being fun, that's when to stop

12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 

sometimes. in my view, unless you're a professional writer, you're not on a schedule and this should be fun, so don't force it. if i don't strain myself, i usually get around to thinking about my fic anyway haha

13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

i love hearing my readers' theories! it's always pleasantly surprising to hear what they think will happen, even if it's off, and i've even occasionally been inspired by them. i love when a reader will point something out that maybe even i missed

17. what is your favorite line you've ever written?

this one hasn't been published (but i do have a WIP with it), but i still wake up in a cold sweat thinking about it: "Never think you are worth any less than all I have to give you and everything I stand to lose."

23. how do you deal with writer's block?

don't sweat it. take care of your body and mind, primarily, and the ideas will start flowing again eventually. reading fic, even if it's not in the same fandom, can also spark an idea.

40. best piece of feedback you've ever gotten.

i get told my character interactions/dialogue are decent, so that's always nice. but someone told me my fic was a blessing, and i still think about that comment :')

51. share the synopsis of a story you're working on that you haven’t published yet

oohhh...i have so many WIPs lol but i'll share a little about the third part of the 'Here to Stay' trilogy since a lot of people have been asking me about it. it sees all the characters from across the universes reunited, but there's a cosmic threat (if you read the comics you might know who) that wants the power too. shenanigans ensue

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

kind of both? i visualize the scene like a movie in my head AS the words flow. it's hard to describe, i'm not that good of a writer haha

thank you again friend!

Send me more!

[incaseofjeon]

hellooo i just finished reading lucky strike and i really like your writing!!! it's the second thing of yours i've read :) for some reason i can relate a lot to JK?? in his decision to run away i mean HAHA really interesting style too especially at the beginning, when i was starting to get into the plot. i look forward to reading your other stuff! :) a few questions though (and i'm sorry if this has been asked) but 1. what was jimin's power?? 2. what are your fav books? yay! thanks!! -c

omgg THANK YOU SO MUCH ;A; im so so so happy that you read that fic and enjoyed it ahhhhdhsfjds ;__; though ohh i wonder what the first of my fics you read was 👀? hahfbds

and im glad you found his character relatable ;;;; when writing it his story was also the one sort of closest to me personally? so im really glad that other people found him relatable too ahhfjddsj so jUST. thank you!!! thank you so much, for reading and for taking the time to tell me this T–T im really happyy

as for your questions! here ill put them under a read-more bc i just know im gonna get rambly omfgdf

ok so, jimin’s power - I’M ACTUALLY SO GLAD YOU ASKED, because it’s a part of the story that almost no one’s asked about even though it’s kind of a big deal for jimin. which is….jimin doesn’t have a power lmaO. almost everyone in that au has superpowers; its the norm to have one, but fic!jimin just..doesn’t. it’s something he’s probably felt odd about growing up; in his growing years he probably tended to feel like he had to work extra hard to be sort of special or noticed and stuff T-T that’s also part of the reason he originally was drawn to jeongguk in school after the dictionary incident - by that age he’d kind of started to guess that he wasn’t going to develop a power, since it’s really rare for it to develop any later than teenage years, and jeongguk was the first person he’d known to not like his own power ;; so to jimin it was kind of eye-opening to realise that the power he’d always been upset about not having could possibly bring harm as well as good ahjsbdsjhd..so yeAH!! im so so glad you asked this omdfd i feel like..im finally doing fic!jimin justice in telling his unwritten story T–T

and MY FAVOURITE BOOKS. omfg there’s so so many im just going to list as many as i can think of off the top of my head:

1. The Raw Shark Texts (by Steven Hall)

this one is one of my all time favourites, and a HUGE huge huge inspiration in writing that’s left an impact on me for a really long time ;; IT’S SO UNDERRATED but it’s super gripping and interesting and experimentally fresh, and has really well-written themes of like love and loss and unfaithful memories and losing memories and a lot of cool internal/mental things like that! the ending is super cool to me, too ;;; the writing style is like nothing ive ever really seen anywhere else and is just super compelling in the way the author selects and arranges certain simple words in un-simple ways? and there are many parts of this book that are ambiguous in what exactly happened; that’s exactly why i love it? idk i jsut - i get super super excited about this book pleasE READ IT 

2. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake (by Aimee Bender)

actually, i have loved about every single thing by aimee bender that i’ve read, but this is the only novel of hers ive read so far so i’ll go with that hjsbdjhsf…her short story collections are super lovely too, some of my favourite short stories by her are Job’s Jobs, Appleless, Death Watch, Motherfucker, I Will Pick Out Your Ribs (from My Teeth), and Faces. Aimee Bender is really one of my favourite authors ever, she has a really distinctive style and flavour thats creative and poetic and charmingly matter-of-fact all at once, that makes the most mundane stuff seem magical and the most magical stuff seem mundane. like. idk. IM REALLY IN LOVE with her writing ;;;;; ahdsbfjhbfds please check her out if you can!!!

3. A Wrinkle in Time & its sequels (by Madeleine L’Engle)

this whole series is just..really lovely in its ideas and hopeful and really gave me a huge sense of wonder the first time i read it? and there are some scenes in it that were just so beautifully magical (even though it’s actually sci-fi) and moving that i’ve never forgotten them to this day ;___; even though i first read it when i was 11 lmaO. but really, this is so soso osos o lovely idk if youve ever read it but i hope you have/get to read it some day abfdf

4. The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

jhasgfjhs kate dicamillo is another of my all time favourite writers, i grew up hunting library shelves for her name lmao her writing is just..really beautiful in its ideology and style? there’s something very pure and innocent and whimsical and so so poetic about the things she writes and the way she tells stories, i always tend to read her stuff in one sitting bc it’s just so hard to stop ;;; i love her work so so much 

5. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

i actually…can’t remember the exact story of this anymore BUT I DO remember that when i read it, i was completely blown away by the power of the writing style? bradbury’s writing is just…really distinctive in a heavier kind of way? like it’s poetic but kind of grips you around the heart idK im not sure how to explain it. i’m always stunned at the way he chooses his words and crafted his world in this book ajhsfbjd i love it sooo much ;;; i want to reread soon sdhfds

6. The Monstrumologist series (by Rick Yancey)

THIS ONE IS SO UNDERRATED i love it omg..it’s more gory and dark than most the things ive mentioned but the gore never feels like..needless? idk. i just love it so much and the kinds of ideas like the blurring of lines between man and monster, as well as the changing relationships of growing up - the book series just handles that so so well and with a really exciting gripping plot too ahdgsd i love it i love iiit. my fav book in the series is probably the lsle of Blood; there’s a line in there about a plate that haunTS ME ALWAYS 

7. Skellig and Kit’s Wilderness by David Almond

david almond is another writer i grew up reading ahhHH it’s honestly been too long for me to exactly remember what i loved about these 2 books - BUT I LOVE THEM

8. The Seas by Samantha Hunt

i actually am reading this book literally right now, so i havent reached the ending and im not sure if ill still love it as much as i currently do by that point, but so far i definitely am loving it SO much!! the writing and metaphors and characterisation are so damn beautiful and interesting and the writer has a lovely flow and really fresh way of arranging words and delivering ideas ;; it’s just really prettily and freshly and creatively written ;A; plus, i have this…Thing for the ocean so i love that a central part of this book is about the sea ahhH 

9. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami 

I WISH I HAD MORE HARUKI MURAKAMI THINGS TO TALK ABOUT but this is the only of his books ive found so far - and I LOVE IT TO DEATH. i actually read norwegian wood and the particular sadness of lemon cake in the time period when i wrote my latest fic (thought you knew) and they really ;;; damn, a double whammy of inspiration omfg. norwegian wood is just…really really interesting and deep and real without being too heavy-hearted in the way it talks about things like relationships, devotion, alienation and loss? idk, it’s just- i love it so so so much, especially the ending paragraph ahhhh

10. Cathedral and A Small, Good Thing (by Raymond Carver)

THESE ARE TECHNICALLY SHORT STORIES, not books. but i just love them so much i have to mention them ;;; i honestly love raymond carver and his way of writing a lot, he just..he says so much with so little? he’s a huge inspiration i look up to like crazy especially when it comes to crafting dialogue ahhh. i also really love his poem Hummingbird!

11. The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino

idek where to start with this one..THE PLOT IS JUST. FUCKING BRILLIANT and it’s a really interesting take on the idea of devotion, especially devotion to..um..unhealthy kinds of levels? idk. it’s just….so well thought through and super cool i was Mind Blown™ when i read it kasjndskdf

12. Bunker 10 by J.A. Henderson

this is another one in team BLEW MY FUCKIGN MIND ahhh ;; i read it super super long ago but the plot is so so good? it’s the kind that’s a bit confusing at first, but then everything gets revealed and i’m completely shook and eye-opened and want to read it again with the new knowledge, you know what i mean? just- i cant remember what the writing style was like but the PLOT and setting was soo so so cool T—T

and that’s…all i can think of at the moment ajhbfjsdhf IM SORRY YOU PROBABLY DIDNT EXPECT ME TO BE SO EXTRA AS TO GIVE SUCH A LONG ASS REPLY but im just…..very very very passionate and invested in the books i love, ok. im so. akjsfbjhdsf

anyway yeah!! thank you so soso soso SO much for reading my writing and liking it and making the effort to let me know ;;;; im really so happy reading and replying to your message, it means so much to me T-T i hope you have a great great day ilY anon c!!!