#{shitennou | misguided brothers}

[goldenearthprince-archive]

@goldenearthprince with @jcdebound @kunsaito @izousaito and @gardienstellaire

Inspired by smokingbomber’s photo

[sublimeperfectionland]

New Moon of the Dark Kingdom Chapter Hundred and Eighteen- The Mary Sue Factor

Zoisite and Kunzite have found true love, but when some old friends, a vengeful god, and a pair of evil twins are gunning for the Shitennou all at once, life is not going to be easy

[Scene: Neffy's mansion during a divination with the Celestial Seeress Astraea. Beryl and the Shitennou are watching the blurred out twins head for the master bath]

Jeddy: Are you certain that girl is really eleven? Because I'm having a hard time believing it.

Neffy: Why? Because your "fun game" with the handcuffs, whipped cream, and nazi uniform just turned into a Scavenger Hunt?

Jeddy: No. Because i have a really hard time believe some eleven year old girl with a killer body just developed a weapon that can destroy a god.

Beryl: That's because of your male chauvinism.

Jeddy: No. That's a trick that the finest minds in the universe have puzzled over for centuries and she figured it out in her first dozen years of life? We're entering into Mary Sue territory here.

Astraea: Except "Mary Sues" as they are referred to current vernacular, are universally loved, and this girl is a pariah-despised and rejected by those of her peerset.

[The image show El glowering at her locker, while other girls whisper in the background]

Astraea: Her brother, on the other hand-

[The image shifts to Dev sitting on the grass, strumming his guitar, surrounded by a circling of fawning female admirers. He stops and reaches behind the ear of one of them, producing a heart shaped lollipop, which he hands to her, much to her delight the applause and fawning coos of the others.]

Beryl: We get it! She's The Misanthropic Genius while he's the Affable Dumbass!

Astraea: There is no indication the male's intellect is substandard. In fact, to the contrary-

Beryl: Whatever! The point is we are dealing with a couple of Half-Sues! How do we exterminate these two little brats before they cause any real trouble?

Kunzite: I'm still not convinced that is the answer. Everything we have seen so far indicates to me that this is simply a pair of gifted but misguided orphans who are being coached and manipulated by a higher power. If we kill these two, he will simply replace them. It is this "Big Daddy" of their we should focus on, not his expandable pawns. We might be able to use them to draw him out.

Neffy: Good luck with that. What sort of callous White Light bastard sends a pair of sad little eleven year-old tykes to take on an evil god, while he sits back home, eating bon bons and awaiting news of their gruesome passing?

Jeddy: Oooh! [raises his hand because he knows the answer to this one] Albus Dumbledore!

[The others give Jeddy a dirty stare and he lowers his hand, chagrined]

[On the ceiling as the twins shed the last of their clothing and enter the shower.]

Neffy: [looks at the osburred silhouettes through the shower curtain with open disapproval] Oh, look. The brother and sister are taking a shower together.

Kunzite: So?

Neffy: So?

Kunzite: Need I remind they are not human and shouldn't be held to this world's standards of behavior? For all we know, this culture's taboos against communal bathing with siblings might seem outlandish to them.

Beryl: Yes. I have to agree with Kunzite. They're just getting cleaned off. Even obscured, I can tell this is hardly erotic.

Neffy: Stop making excuses for them, you two. This is just sickening and weird.

Jeddy: No kidding.

[They emerge from the shower, cleanly scrubbed and wrapped in towels. Their long wet hair is now honey blond and past their waists.]

Neffy: There you go, Kunzite. We're witnessing their blond phase.

Kunzite: [doesn't bother to hide his grin] I forgot how cute they were.

[El opens a drawer under the sink and produces a pair of hair cutting scissors]

Kunzite: Oh, no. Don't do it.

Jeddy: Spoiler alert - neither of them have long blond hair in the present day.

[Dev turns and El snips away at his hair until it's shoulder length. Kunzite watches mournfully as each long strand falls to the tile floor. Then El hands her brother the scissors and turn as he trims hers down to medium length. Then they run their hands over each others hair and it darkens at their touch, chestnut brown for him, mahogany red for her.]

Kunzite: [smiles wistfully] What a tragedy. They both look so plain now.

Jeddy: Plain?

Beryl: I think not!

[The twins step apart to inspect each other and themselves in the mirror, then clasp hands and hold each other close as they bring their faces together.]

Neffy: [hinked] Oh, great. They're going to make out now. I just know it.

[They kiss as as they do, their veins glow and their bodies emit a cloud of dark energy.]

Neffy: Behold, the fearsome power of Twincest!

[Some of the veins seem to writhe like snakes below their skin.]

Jeddy: (Tentacle porn twincest at that.)

[The ground beneath them buckles and the house starts to shake as if in the grips of a power earthquake. Things fly off shelves, windows shatter, wall tear, ceilings flake and fixtures explode and the twins take no notice as the purple energy congeal behind them.]

[The house nearly collapses around them by the time they break off the kiss, the dark energy forming a swirling portal. the continue to hold hands as the towels morph into the matching outfits and they step into the portal and vanish.]

Jeddy: Wait...what...did...they...what?

[Kunzite's ice blue eyes go wide with a terrible comprehension.]

Kunzite: WAIT! GO BACK!

Beryl: Go back?

Kunzite: TO RIGHT AFTER THEY BUTCHERED THEIR HAIR!

Astraea: Very well.

Kunzite: NOW! SHOW US THEIR ENERGY LEVELS!

Jeddy: We've already see those. They are lower than min-

[A caption appears in front of each of them, reading ".51769 DIOS"]

Kunzite: KEEP THEM UP WHILE YOU REPLAY THIS SCENE!

[As soon as the twins clasp hands the numbers start to rise.]

Beryl: How on earth.

[As the scene progress, the numbers skyrocket, rising so rapidly they can't be read. The number tops out right before the portal appears, stabilizing when they are at 1.03538.]

Neffy: [wideeyed] My god.

Jeddy: [wideeyed] Literally.

Beryl: Wait, these two are Chaos Deities who somehow mask their full power?

Kunzite: Not at all. Seeress Astraea, can you confirm that energy levels elevate like whenever they have contact with one another, and at no other time?

Astraea: I can, and they do.

Beryl: But...how?

Kunzite: They aren't just twins. They are Symbiotes! They are able to pool their energy and when they do, they are capable of reaching full god level.

Neffy: [awed] This is why they were able to defeat the Death Phantom.

Kunzite: Separately, they were no match for him. But together...if they touch...they are stronger than he ever was, at least five times over.