#{self para; alex}

[xlittlestpet]

intro post bc ive been putting it off !!! ★

used to be @/vrysillypuppyprince

my name is alex :D im 15 . i use he/clicks . taken !! <harley3 , 10 16 24 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! male , gay + aroaceflux 🐾 caninekin + angelkin , furry. neurodivergent n mentally ill ; in/out of recovery (only ask abt if close) int w caution if directly contacting (msgs, asks, comments) always expect late replies , i go inactive frequently

pls do not flirt with me , vent to me wo asking , tag me in posts wo asking , or ttm abt politics / discourse . (with the venting and tagging you dont have to ask everytime , just once , if its okay then its okay in general)

main special interest is supernatural but my other ones aree care bears, sanrio, lps, and kandi. i am also majorly into lego, zombies, dragons, pokemon, and mc. hobbies ! baking, crochet, coding, gaming, art, design in general and beadwork. im trying to get into embroidery and sewing .

current hyperfixations:: 3DS and things relating to them , smiling friends

if you would like 2 be friends feel free 2 ask for my discord :D am always lookin 4 little buddies !!!!

i change the theme of this blog a lot ! this blog is reblog + spam heavy. i edit older posts, delete old posts, etc, VERY FREQUENTLY !!

this blog is PERSONAL, it has no set purpose. this is my main blog, I FOLLOW AND LIKE FROM THIS ONE. sideblogs are:

@pixxiecup :: agere / petre + stimboards / moodboards

@pawppii :: xenogender acc (only rbs , not vry active)

@luuvbytes :: graphics (not vry active)

@robowaan :: gifs / stim (only rbs)

DNI:: basic dni (use common sense), aam / teleiophilia, anti-recovery, anti-theist, radqueers, pro c para, vent blogs + porn blogs

this are all subject to change!!!!!

#alex rambles - random postings :p

#alex reblogs - self-explanatory

#alex hyperfix - these are posts abt my hyperfixations at the time, these probably wont go on long (aka: posts about these things will not continue for long, most likely.)

#alex mutuals - posts about or somehow including my mutuals / friends

#alex vents - these are usually vents / rants , no tw but there are swears , block this tag if needed !!!!! i also delete posts from this tag v frequently !!!!

#alex answers - my replies to asks !

(taken anons : 👾 , 🍎 , 🪢)

there are other reoccurring tags, im sure, but these are the ones that are vrysillypuppyprince OFFICIAL !!

[shiverdawn]

DNI/DNI IF/DNI IF YOU ARE:

radqueers, nekuqueers, kandiqueers, noxiaqueers, zombz(queers), xenosatanists, every form of para contact except for neg or fluffy para, transphobes/homophobes/biphobes/islamophobes/xenophobes/ableist/racist/any type of exclusionist, anti-endo or anti traumagenic, sysmeds, transmeds/TERFS/SWERFS/TIRFS/PERFS/MERFS/TEHMS, pro jkr, part of the harry potter fandom, non-crit hamilton, dsmp, and any vivziepop media fandoms/enjoyers/fans, proship/comship/darkship/profic/whatever you fuckers call yourselfs, MAP/noMAP/whatever YOU fuckers call yourselfs, nsfw/ddlg/ageplay blogs, tcest, yes this includes YOU rottmnt/tmnt 2018 apriltello/aprilnardo/any ship of april with the turtles or casey jr with the turtles you are so incredibly fucked up, antisemite, zionist, pro-israel, anti-neopronouns/xenopronouns, anti-mspec/good faith identities, anti-xenogenders, anti-otherkin/therian/nonhuman/alterhuman/furry, xenosatanist, support pewdiepie, alex kister, sssniperwolf, vivziepop, wilbur soot, soda_stuff, phighting devs, ex-cocreator of dandy's world, or dream, transID/transX, basedqueer, PRATs, winterqueer, antirecovery, consang/conabusive, lsdqueer, lacedqueer, "winterpunk" (you are a disgrace to actual punk people), use terms like 'narc abuse', waifspo/thinspo/encourage eating disorders, encourage s3lf harm/su1c1d3, naz1-punk/transnaz1, awooqueer, alternatefreak, pro-life, demonize disorders, anti-agere/agedre/petre, anti-educated self dx, gatekeepers, anti-decolonization, TEHMs (trans exclusionary homosexual/romantic men), LGMDTTQUIAAPPNX+, supporters of @/sophieinwonderland, fetishizes/romanticizes anything like being disordered/mlm/wlw, etc, ship odonaru/odnr/justwright/phoenix x apollo, trucy x phoenix, trucy x apollo, lana x ema, maya x phoenix/narumayo, maya x edgeworth, any other pedophilic/incestual/age gap ships.

[apocynaceaeoleander]

Enter the Crypt?

🕊 dead dove, do not eat. tread with caution: blog contains roadkill

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. - David Bowie

introduction ☆

hi ^^ i have many names but you may call me oleander. i am:

a dog 🐾 i primarily identify as a canine alterhuman but i also consider myself to be a therian/kin and use the terms interchangeably. i see myself most closely in domestic golden retrievers and wolfdogs.

a gay, transgender man, who falls between genderfuck and androgynous. i dont discuss queer discourse and i dont care what labels you use. queerness is complex and identity will reflect that.

undiagnosed, but likely neurodivergent! please take this into consideration when talking with me

anarcho-communist. no nations no borders, no gods no masters.

pro-para, anti abuse. profiction: your fictional preferences do not reflect your real life morals. anti harrassment. pro-kink.

in sh & ed recovery, so i would prefer if accounts that post disordered content dont interact, however i dont care if you do

your perception of me is a reflection of yourself.

i am not who you think i am. care to find out? i answer good faith questions 📬💬

☆🎵 the genres of music i mainly listen to are indie, rock, electronic, metal, pop and rap. i dabble in a little bit of everything.

bands: she wants revenge, deftones, radiohead, strawberry switchblade, thrill kill kult, hozier, cosmo sheldrake, iamx, mother mother, tool, kmfdm, nin, 4lung, goreshit, tyler the creator, kikuo, ajj, crywank, blackbird raum, jack stauber, 100 gecs, mcr, underscores, whokilledxix, boyfantasy, talkshow boy, alex g, crystal castles, mindless self indulgence and the left rights, boy harsher, mareux, dazey and the scouts, mommy long legs, smashing pumpkins

albums: the downward spiral- nine inch nails, giles corey- giles corey, moenie and kitchie- gregory & the hawk, rituals- goreshit, the queen is dead- the smiths, twin fantasy- car seat headrest

☆🎨 id describe my style as a mix of punk and emo with influences from goth and scene, and even heavier influences from the 2000s. the labels i do use, i use loosely.

hobbies/interests: vulture culture, wet-specimen and bone preservation, photography (pictured below), sewing & embroidery, digital & traditional art, painting, sculpting, walking, urbex, foraging, true crime, etc

all of my oddities are ethically sourced. i find joy in morbid fascination 🩻🖤

☆📽 as for media i enjoy:

movies: fantastic mr fox, song of the sea, secret of kells, wolfwalkers, stuido ghibli movies (including nausicaa and pom poko!), william hellfire & joey smack films (the infamous bondage stranglers 1&2), idiocracy, i saw the tv glow, the hobbit + lotr (the rankin-bass hobbit ♡), half baked: totally high, the northman, everything everywhere all at once, the witch (a24), zero day 2003, elephant

tv shows: invader zim, clarence, the amazing world of gumball, spongebob, craig of the creek, moomin (90s & 2019), the walking dead, the last of us, stranger things, game of thrones, moral orel

video games: sally face, terraria, minecraft, franbow, subnautica, fish out of water (mobile), wobbledogs ♡, osu 🥁, boyfriend to death, etc

i tend to be awkward when talking to new people, but dont hesitate to reach out if you have any shared interests :)

no dni, i block freely. do what you want without harming others. ⭐️

taglist

#⭐️🐾: relating to myself

#📸🐾: my photography

#📬💬: asks

#💖: favs

#📆📌: holidays

#🎨: art gallery (reblogs)

#📽: videos/gifs

#🎬💿: movies

#🌀: spirals

#🖼: misc pictures

#🎃🍂: all hallows eve + samhain

#🧸💕: all things plushie related (plushum, essa, plushie collecting)

#🐕🐾: alterhumanity

#📑🔍: true crime

#🦌🌱: lawrence oleander

#🦴: bones/vulture culture

last updated: 11/9/24

[horrorcrew-diary]

Changed the blog name/theme since I don't really have communication with the rest of the system (sorry Lucky /gen)

Hi! I'm Phil or Ada, and I'm the host of the Horror Crew subsystem, as well as the whole of the Goodnews system!

I also run @adas-system-help (posts on there are every slow ^^;)

We also have a nested subsystem that has their own blog at @pumpkinpatch-subsys

We're 21+, so we may also post about drugs and alcohol and their effects on our system

DNI: Endos and supporters, anti mspec mono, truscum/transmed, r.adf.ems, radqueers, self labeled paras, basic dni stuff

The subsys:

Phil ☣️ she/they/he

Pastra 🎃 it/he

Nik 🧡 he/him

Alex 👻 he/they

Doc 💉 he/they

Koda 🦴 he/him

Winfrey 🎼 he/him

Pocky 🍎 she/they

Ellie 🦋 she/any

Caco 🍫 any

David 👑 he/him

Clyde 🍭 he/it/clown/honk

Morti 🔏 he/him

Donut 🌈 any

Other alters from the main system may also come in and post on occasion, though it'll probably be VERY infrequent

[alexxkresnik]

Welcome to the blog!! The name is Alex, 30 yo, and any pronouns are acceptable! I made this blog specifically for my FFXVI OC by the same name. Minors DNI.

Info blurb for him in FFXVI can be found here

Info blurb for him in the Pokémon Universe is here

Memes can be found here

Now, onto the rules (I'm sorry)!

1. Communication is key! If you don't like something happening in the verse (or you don't agree with something), please let me know! I don't mind talking things out and fixing things here and there if need be (plus, we don't all like the same things).

2. Multishipping is perfectly fine with me, especially when it comes to my OC's! He's a little guy full of love (He's also happy with friends and found family as well). There will be exceptions (he's not going to love everybody, after all), but always feel free to ask!

3. I tend to write a lot (multi-para) but please don't feel like you have to match my length! I can make a mountain out of a molehill, after all. If the reply is going to be extra-long, I'll more than likely put it under a read more for others scrolling satisfaction.

4. I'm fine writing with existing characters or OCs! Don't feel shy! I can also easily throw him into any universe (he's not a new OC for me) so you don't have to be a FFXVI (or FF in general) blog to interact with me! As long as I know what I'm throwing him into, I'll be fine. I'll update his verses as they're created.

5. Please don't rush replies! Life outside of tumblr can be hectic sometimes (everyone has lives outside of the internet) so please be respectful! I will never rush replies in return. I would rather you take weeks to months to put out something you're satisfied and happy with than you rushing a reply and hating it. Mental health is key!!

6. I will post ooc, but I'll tag appropriately. I will also try to tag everything else appropriately (please feel free to tell me if I don't. I am, unfortunately, only human).

7. Alex is my blank slate. He's the first OC I ever created (back when I was a young teen) and he's followed me into every game/fandom I've ever enjoyed (either as the player character or a random NPC). If you have an rp idea in mind and need me to change his backstory a little, I don't mind! He can be anything I need him to be.

8. Any ask I get (with an rp meme/prompt) is left open-ended! This way, if you enjoy the direction I take the meme/prompt, you can continue it in a thread with me. (If you answer an ask I send, I'll ask if you want to continue before turning it into a thread, though, unless stated otherwise)

9. Have fun!

PSA! Occasionally you'll see me rping Wade (FFXVI) with Valiisthea. He is not open for everyone. You can message me, but 9 times out of 10 I will say no. I'm very self-conscious about my portrayal of him so I'm going to be extremely picky. I apologize in advance!

[miscuartelesdeinvierno]

Con medida que me encariño más con personajes narcisistas y egocéntricos que conozco en libros,series y películas,descubro que compartimos lo que me gusta llamar “la pared.”Le digo “la pared” a esta barrera formada por un sinfín de ladrillos que me rodea la mayor parte del tiempo desde que tengo memoria.

Cada ladrillo es una memoria negativa y/o trauma que se levanta como mecanismo de defensa frente a mí. Crecí en un entorno en el que mi valor estaba estrictamente ligado a mi rendimiento académico: Ladrillo de perfeccionismo, por ejemplo.

Cuando iba a cumplir 9 años una de mis tías me llevó a comprarme ropa por mi cumpleaños, me forzó a comprarme una talla más chica de la que me quedaba bien y a aceptar que “todas debemos usar faja o sumir bien la panza para vernos delgadas”…ladrillo de problemas con la comida y distrofia corporal.Y así podría seguir con el ladrillo de mentir para salir,ladrillo de principios de alcoholismo,ladrillo de terribles hábitos financieros,etc.

El punto es que estos personajes como Don Draper,Roy Kent,Alex Levy,Annalise Keating e Isabel Iglesias por nombrar a algunos,en cierta temporada o episodio tienen su arco de redención.Hacen un encuentro cara a cara con su pared y la derrumban.A veces a la fuerza, a veces con intervenciones pero la derrumban.Y los veo y en esos 10 minutos de inspiración me digo a mí misma que yo también lo puedo hacer y que todo va a estar bien.

Spoiler: no lo está.

Cada vez que he intentado derribar mi pared lo he hecho de formas sumamente violentas. Me pisoteo verbalmente y me exijo en demasía porque si Don Draper le pudo confesar todo a Peggy en el último episodio, obvio yo le puedo dar una vuelta de 270º a mi vida en 2 semanas…culo si no. Y cuando evidentemente en 2 semanas solo termino más cansada y violentada que antes, me termino autosaboteando cualquier porcentaje de avance que llevaba y vueeeeelvo a castigarme por no adherirme a un plan que desde un inicio estaba mal planteado.

Me parece muy cagado haber llegado a esta conclusión comiendo mi huevito revuelto con salchicha viendo The Morning Show hace rato pero ahí les va: siempre he intentado derribar mi pared con violencia porque la delicadeza me asusta. Pero al verme hoy toda moreteada por lanzar(me) golpes a diestra y siniestra siento que además de que estas conductas no son sostenibles, solo están creando más ladrillos para la pared.

Y evidentemente tratarme bien y tenerme paciencia no va a pasar de la noche a la mañana y creo que mi principal reto ahorita es entender que ciertas cosas que considero “self-care” son realmente acciones sin sentido que están tapando otros vacíos.

Parte por lo que escribo todo esto es porque mañana tengo sesión de terapia y quisiera que esto sea la guía de trabajo para el resto de 2023 y parte es porque quiero recordar siempre que la pared no se tiene que caer de una (por eso son personajes ficticios, Alejandraaaaaaa), si no que tengo que ir encontrando las piezas frágiles y trabajar sobre ellas y las colindantes, para poco a poco desbaratar esa muralla.

[fi-fitz-flynn]

The First Assist {Self Para}

Prior Reading:

How could I refuse? {Self Para} Hiding In The Shadows {Flynn & Smee} In The Dark Corners {Self Para} Trust {Self-Para feat. James}

Timing: Late November.

Everyone had their assignments.

Gil and Leo were both in place as potential bidders.

Holley although not on active duty watching the comms and being their eyes in the ceilings. 

James outside, coordinating the strike when they were given the signal.

(Sorry Jake wasn’t technically here at the time)

Flynn, he was using his alias for the last time.

Behind the scenes Flynn watched everyone now, it was easy to tell who was in the know and who thought this was just another black market art dealer.

Those were the ones rushing around, making sure every artwork was the correct one, that the line up was correct and the information was readily available.

The others had buyers lined up. A price already set. They didn’t need to double check anything. They couldn’t, what they were fencing wasn’t something they could check on without blowing their cover.

Smee was here, Alex was here.

The buyers were flooding in and the crackle of his ear piece signaled that Gil and Leo were both inside.

Pushing off the wall, Flynn knew his assignment. The low level fencers, that’s who he was gathering information on.

The actual agents would handle the big guns.

Flynn walked by the couple other fencers in the area as they conversed lowly. 

Mikey and Lola, Both new to the scene but focusing on illegal magick items. Truly green if he was able to find that out while walking by them. It was almost a shame knowing they would be arrested while they were green.

Whoops. He should be using the RAS thought process. They were getting a new start after they just started on the wrong path.

Actual bullshit in his mind.

Texting as he walked he sent off the information to Holley, adding quick pictures for the file, for the arrest.

The next person was Alex, the person who got him into this. He had to wonder if she knew what she was doing, what she had gotten into.

Probably.

But this was Alex- an old contact that had helped him out before, and while he didn’t want to. He had a soft spot for her. She had always been good to Flynn though. 

She smiled at him as Flynn walked toward her, starting to speak, Flynn shook his head slightly as he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. Pressing it into her hand walking right past her and not looking back. Not when he felt her eyes on him, not when he heard her heels click as she got out of there.

James would see her leave, the cameras would catch it too, but he knew she could escape. She always managed to.

And she would burn that paper. She had to.

Flynn didn’t know but just as this life burned into nothing he had to imagine that would burn along with it.

That’s the last of them. They are closing the doors.

We need some proof they are purchasing it while knowing what they are, or else we only have them on purchasing illegal paintings.

That was Flynn’s job. The records were here. The pre-set deals, who the auctioneer had to close quickly on once it hit a certain price. Give or take 50,000.

He had to find it before someone could burn it as the raid started.

Slipping past everyone, Flynn headed toward the back room as everyone headed to the front and he could hear the auctioneer start his speech.

Getting into the office wasn’t hard, find the safe, even easier. People needed to stop putting them behind paintings and only having one painting in the room- for an art auction house too. It was kind of pathetic.

Neither here nor there.

Getting to work on the safe, Flynn twisted the lock of what was supposed to be an impenetrable safe and yet he watched the pins fall into place without pressing his ear against it. Thankfully considering the way his heart beat so loud and so fast he could barely hear the agents in his ear.

The first two pins locked in.

Anyone could walk in and he’d be dead before anyone could help him, before anyone would know.

The third pin followed.

Something could be going wrong right now and Flynn wouldn’t be able to do anything, if he left without the list, he would have ruined everything.

The fourth pin fell in place.

This was a hell of a lot worse than just being the getaway driver. That he could do. He could leave anyone behind if needed, and yet- Flynn now was in the heart of it, He would be the one left behind.

The last pin fell in place and Flynn ruffled through all the paperwork taking pictures as Holley advised sending it immediately to their system.

List is copied, Putting everything back and heading out.

Flynn stated simply, putting everything back the way he found it and slipping back out of the office.

Good Job Rider, now get backstage again so one of us can arrest you when we get in there.

I swear if someone tackles me. I’m fighting back.

Please do.

Rolling his eyes Flynn did what he was told heading back stage watching as each painting went out.and came back being sold.

Waiting it out though had Flynn questioning how cool it was to be an agent. Waiting around doing nothing? 

Bullshit.

Go Go Go! Last painting has been sold.

Flynn barely heard the wording as doors slammed open and screams rang out. Instinct had Flynn jumping up and moving toward the nearest exit alongside Mikey and Lola when James and other agent kicked open a door, guns pointed at them.

“Down on the ground! Now!” 

Flynn hesitated the same as the other two but as more agents flooded the place, the other two slowly lowered to the ground and Flynn followed suit.

“Oh Happy day.” An Agent from London grinned snapping the cuffs onto Flynn. “Always a good day to put away those that help others get away with this stuff.”

“Mikey Strutham, Lola Pierce, Nick Holden. You’re under arrest for the tracking of stolen artwork, forgeries and illegal magick goods.”

Good job there Flynn. Keep it up a little longer. I promise we won’t let you stay in handcuffs for too long….Maybe.

Flynn rolled his eyes as person after person was marched out and put into cars. 

It was over, he was alive and he had helped put away some people.The items would be returned however best they could be and illegal dealers were off the street. 

The world was just a little bit safer, but Flynn knew the truth because these guys would just be replaced and it would start over.

Of course that was neither here nor there. But right now?

Mission Classification: Success

[geocaithysecchannelgaming]

Buhok sa Kili-Kili? Alisin na Yan sa Isang Pindot Lang! by GeoCaithySec Fam Sa aming nakakatawang video na ito, sasabak tayo sa isang hiligang pag-uusap nina Alex at Ben tungkol sa isang bagong produkto na pang-alis ng buhok sa kili-kili. Mula sa pangalan ng produkto hanggang sa mga kahalakhakan at mga imahinasyon, ibabahagi namin sa inyo ang aming mga nakakatawang haka-haka at mga komentaryo. Tunghayan ang aming mga palitan ng mga joke at pang-aasar habang pinag-uusapan ang posibilidad ng isang pindot lang na solusyon sa buhok sa kili-kili. Maaaring may mga hirit at kuro-kuro kayo sa katapusan ng video. Abangan at subukan ang inyong katatawanan! Click here: https://ift.tt/PSDNH2F Buhok sa Kili-Kili? Alisin na Yan sa Isang Pindot Lang! Painless Hair Removal Cream 60g Permanent No Residue Depilatory Cream Men And Women Leg Hair Arm Hair Removal Underarm Hair removal for underarm Hair remover for private parts Hair remover for removing hair in private part wax hair removal for Buhok sa Kili-Kili Follow us on FB: https://ift.tt/rVQ6ps9 TIKTOK: https://ift.tt/3y9UhQE PINTEREST: https://ift.tt/p0nJB3v INSTAGRAM: https://ift.tt/uZDyiXT' More videos: Clip Studio Paint Ex 2 alternative for Paint Tool Sai https://youtu.be/GApYlbX6cLI Portable na Car Trunk Organizer https://youtu.be/ArAeI6_upHE DreaME Luxury 10 inch Kama https://youtu.be/ROlbGqdkeQ4 220ml Portable Air Humidifier Maginhawang https://youtu.be/6-ATVFNChh0 Pinakamahusay na Review ng Inflatable Swimming Pool para sa Pamilya at Mga Bata! https://youtu.be/vPmg0amkfR0 Free LED dollDoll House Large Villa Dollhouse https://youtu.be/AFHDOSWEXQI 5 Best Cheap Hotels near Me in Makati https://youtu.be/EOH9j14s3b4 Cheap Hotels Near Me in Baguio: Mura at Maganda https://youtu.be/9SfB7spzCZw Tourmaline Self Heating Knee Pads Pro 8 Magnetic Therapy https://youtu.be/FhNryYwauiw Wireless Handheld Vacuum Cleaner https://youtu.be/RolV0DO143E [Buy 1 Take 1]Mixed Nuts Instant Healthy Nuts https://youtu.be/OeL2r5GHr8A Molten GG7X Series Basketbal https://youtu.be/9qZ9EhGp3vg Multifunctional Building Table Kids https://youtu.be/9_wmdgDrNZQ Little Big Toys: Toy Car, Truck, at Excavator Toy Car https://youtu.be/sUOg_ViBdqM #shortvideo #shortsvideo #shorts #short #reelsfb #reelsvideo #shopee #lazada #lazadaph #KiliKiliProblems #BuhokSaKiliKili #UltimateSmoothCream #KomedyangKwentuhan #PindotLangSolusyon #TagalogComedy #HiligangPagUusap #NakakatawangKwentuhan #HashTagNgKatatawanan #KiliKiliLotto #TagalogHumor #BuhayKiliKili #AlisBuhok #KomedyangPinoy #TawangTawa #FunnyChatting #TagalogJokes #KomedyangPambarkada #BuhokProblems #PinoyHumor via YouTube https://youtu.be/P_f-ok_rHWY

[jukeboxcwb]

Após oito anos de pausa, Blur anuncia show

A apresentação única acontece no dia 08 de julho de 2023, no Estádio de Wembley

Foto: divulgação

O Blur anunciou nesta segunda-feira (14) a volta aos palcos em 2023. O show acontece em 08 de julho, no Estádio de Wembley, no qual a banda fará sua reunião e contará ainda com as participações da cantora Self Esteem, do rapper Slowthai e da dupla de electro-pop Jockstrap.

A apresentação marca a única apresentação do Blur em 2023, e o primeiro show com setlist completo desde 2015, quando realizaram um espetáculo promovido pela Fórmula 1, em Abu Dhabi, nos Emirados Árabes Unidos.

Em agosto deste ano, o jornal britânico The Sun especulou que a banda se planejava realizar um grandioso show em Wembley, para comemorar os 30 anos de “Parklife”, de 1994. Damon Albarn comentou sobre a possibilidade: “Nós realmente amamos tocar nossas músicas e pensamos que já era hora de fazermos isso de novo”.

Composta por Damon Albarn, Graham Coxon, Alex James e Dave Rowntree, o Blur entrou em hiato depois da turnê mundial de 2009 para divulgar o disco “Think Tank”, de 2003.

[anzaideart]

Madaming ngyare sa mga nakaraang buwan na halos wala na akong pag asa sa araw-araw kung paano ako babangon,dumating na din sa punto na nawawalan na ako ng gana.

Isang araw, bigla akong inatake ng anxiety alam to ng buddy ko siya lagi una Kong sinasabihan, sabi niya mag half day na ako pero sabi ko ayoko medio nahihiya na nga ako pati na din sa manager ko. Kinaya ko pumasok maghapon, nung oras na yun may chance ako na mag self harm tinawagan ko na ang dalwa kong kasamahan sila Enzo at Alex para habang kausap ko sila hindi ako makakapag self harm ang lala na ng iyak ko nung time na yun, na tipong sa kanila nag mamakaawa ako na "hindi ko na kaya" pero sinasabihan nila akong" kayanin mo pahinga ka muna yun ung kailangan mo"

Napagpasyahan ko na mag pa check up talaga, hindi ko inaasahan at hindi ko ma tangap na iinom ako ng gamot, kinabahan ako. Pero inisip ko nalang na para sa sarili ko to, gagaling ako at magiging maayos ako. Na diagnosed ako ng PTSD at Major depressive disorder.

Laging kong baon ung sinasabi sa akin ng isa kong kasamahan sa opisina, "Nikkie ayusin mo muna sarili mo maging selfish ka muna ngayon kase kailangan mo sarili mo ngayon. Hindi pagiging madamot na unahin mo ang sarili mo. Mag palakas ka para sa sarili mo."

[highlandsailor]

Heh, eso parece, sí. Ríe un poco más. Buenos días, Alex, ¿cómo os va? Observa a Ollie, demasiado ocupado cavando. Ha hecho ya el relieve de la casa, para ver lo grande que será.

Vaya pedazo de terreno, ¿eh? Si os diera por cultivar cosas y tener animales, you could easily be self-sufficient! Ríe un poco. I'm happy for you two!

Excursión de Fin de Semana

Se acerca al sillón sobre el que está tumbada @fodanse-gringos. Tiene las manos sucias de andar tocando las herramientas que tiene que cargar, con ayuda de @redgreatalien, sobre la camioneta y su okupa particular no está haciendo nada para ayudar.

Pone su manaza sobre el respaldo con una sonora palmada. ¿Tú no vas a ayudar o qué?

[alexmoralesx]

Burned at Both Ends||Self-Para

Everyone would tell Alex Morales that being a firefighter was one of the most ‘noble’ jobs anyone could have. And sure, maybe it was. But it wasn’t like that was the reason why he had done it. He wasn’t looking for glory. He wasn’t looking for thanks. Alex didn’t care about any of that. All he wanted was to help people. There were several other jobs he could have chosen as well. Both of his mother’s could remind him of that whenever he would mention he got any type of wound of the job. Alex understood that too. He could have. But firefighting just called to him. And who was he to turn down a calling such as that?

Being on call was such an interesting concept to him. For one week, every twelve weeks, Alex would be called to go into work and help with whatever was needed. It was technically time and a half, so that was a plus, but it wasn’t like he ever got called. Or anyone did, for that matter. The fire department was extremely adept at their job and they rarely needed the extra hands. And yet, every firefighter at the station was forced to be on call and wait for a call that never came.

Except for tonight.

Alex had been sitting on his couch, cuddling with his cat Bustopher when his cellphone began to ring. It was a very specific ringtone that he only used when he was, indeed, on call. Immediately, he pushed the cat from his lap and answered the call, “Yeah, Alex Morales.” He answered and much to his surprise, instructions were given to him about a call that he actually had to run. There was a high school right across the bridge from Staten Island that needed immediate assistance. The fire truck would be there when he arrived, he was told, and all he would need was his gear, which Alex brought with him home. Or, well, kept it in his car. He wasn’t lugging that shit up to his apartment.

He hung up the phone, patted his cat on the head, then headed out within minutes. For once, the on call thing was working out. He would have to tell the guys back at the station about that considering it was a different station that called for backup. Hopping in his car, Alex quickly started the engine and zipped off, heading in the direction of the school. Luckily for him, traffic was moving fine and he was able to get there within about fifteen minutes (speeding heavily, of course, but it was New York. Who didn’t speed on the freeways?).

Pulling himself from his car and opening up the back car door, Alex quickly geared up (something they all were trained to do) and he rushed up to the fire truck with his helmet under his arm, “What’s the status?” He asked as soon as one of the other firefighters noticed him approaching.

“It was a school dance. Grease fire started it.” He was told, “We’re working on evacuating everyone still. The entire back of the school is burnt down, unfortunately.”

“How many left do we think are in there? Is everyone out of the back?” Alex asked, his brows furrowing.

“From what we know, there are some groups of kids that are hiding in one of the bathrooms, but we haven’t found which one yet. And we’re pretty confident we got everyone out from the back.” 

‘Pretty confident’ wasn’t good enough for him, however. Not from his men, at least. He wasn’t sure how the Brooklyn fire department ran. “Understood.” Alex said simply and put his helmet on. Walking to the back of the truth, he grabbed an axe and immediately headed towards the building. It seemed that they were concentrating moving in and out of the front of the building. Alex decided to find a different entrance. He wanted to lay eyes upon the back of the building himself before he did anything else. 

Approaching one of the side doors, Alex slammed the blade of the axe down onto the chain that held the door closed a few times before snapped and he was able to kick the door open. Smoke filled the halls and he placed his oxygen mask over his nose and mouth immediately before he went any further. His dark eyes shifted back and forth for a moment before he began to move further into the building, towards the thick and dark, billowing smoke. 

The further he moved into the building, the harder it was to see, which was why he wasn’t confident they had found everyone. Some of the back of the building was still standing which warranted another look through. The doors to the classrooms were crumbling by the time he had made it back there so looking into each of the rooms was pretty simple. He peered his head into each room before shouting, “Anyone in here?!” He repeated this in several different rooms and each one came back empty. Maybe they were right.

Alex was just about to head back up, searching for the bathroom where the others were, when he heard some commotion come from of the rooms that he hadn’t fully examined. His brows furrowed and he immediately turned back, heading towards the sound. As he got closer, he some muffled shouting from the back of the room. Stepping in further, avoiding the raging fire that was surrounding him from felt like every direction, Alex looked around for a moment, spotting what seemed to be a closet. He gingerly approached the door and opened it up, watching it falling apart almost immediately. He shook his head and spotted three teenagers, no older than thirteen, inside the small space. One of them was passed out and the other two were clearly panicking. Understandably so.

“I’m going to get you out of here, one at a time. I promise, you’re going to be okay.” He would make sure of it, “I’m going to get your friend first, then I’ll be back for you--” He pointed towards the teenage girl, “And then you.” He pointed to the boy, “Do not leave this spot, do you understand?” Alex shouted above the roaring fire, watching them slowly nod, “Keep your heads as low as possible.” Removing his self-breathing apparatus, Alex placed it on the ground and removed the mask from his face, passing it to the boy, “Keep breathing.” Alex instructed as picked up the small teenage boy who was unconscious on the ground. Holding him tightly against his chest, Alex stepped through the mounds of fire and burning pieces of building, working on getting this child out of the building. He held his breath as he did so, knowing what he did was foolish. But if he didn’t, those kids would probably be dead within minutes. There was no way they could survive that smoke inhalation.

He managed to traverse through the school yet again and busted through the doors, taking a deep breath as soon as he exited. Alex gingerly placed the teen onto the ground before he grabbed his walkie talkie and headed back inside, “I found three teenagers in the back of the school. One is out, on the ground, unconscious. I’m getting the other two now. Over and out.” Alex could hear one of the other firefighters speaking to him but he couldn’t hear what they were saying over the fire. It didn’t make anyway. He had a job to do. 

Once again, he made his way back to classroom and approached the closet again. Without a word, he scooped up the girl like he said he would and carried her out without much issue. She kept herself tucked so closely to Alex as he moved, which made the job much easier. He didn’t have to worry about her getting burnt or anything (more than she was). Dropping her off outside as well, Alex took another well deserved breath before he headed back inside for the hopefully the last time back there. 

Each time he entered the back of the school, the fire destroyed more and more. Support beams from the ceiling were steadily crumbling and Alex knew he had maybe a few minutes to get the boy of out there. The heat from the fire was getting to point that even Alex was finding it unbearable. But he couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t. Stepping back inside the classroom, he grabbed the last teenager and immediately began to head out. Debris was falling in every direction and as he was walking down the hallway, the ceiling suddenly collapsed blocking him from going back out the door he had been, “Fuck.” He sighed out as he began to look for another exit. Anything. Another door, a window, a hole in the wall...

His lungs were burning so intensely as he looked for a solution but he refused to stop moving. The teenager in his arms was so petrified and the man wanted nothing more than to get him out of the fire. He had left his breathing appartus back in the closet, unfortunately, and he was getting worried for the boy. Taking a brief moment to remove his helmet, he placed it over the boy’s head, figuring it was at least something. The smoke burned at his eyes. The heat singed his skin as he walked through the flames, desperately looking for an exit.

Busting through another classroom on the opposite side of the hall, he spotted a window there. That would have to do. He surveyed the room for a moment, noting the unstable ceiling above them but there wasn’t much of a choice, “Get down on the ground.” He instructed the boy as he placed him onto the floor, in one of the few spots where the fire hadn’t intruded. Reaching into his tool pouch, the male walked up to the window and smashed it to pieces with Snagger tool. It wasn’t meant for breaking windows but it would have to do. Clearing out more of the window with his gloves, he released a breath and turned back towards the teenager. 

Hearing a creaking above them once again, the male looked up and spotted one of the support beams beginning to snap. Dashing forward, his body practically collided with the teenager as he pushed him flat against the ground and used his own body to protect the boy from ceiling collapsing down. One of beams collided directly with the back of Alex’s head, causing him to fall unconscious as the weight of the ceiling crushed down upon his body, still protecting the teenager beneath him.

[philipcharmont]

𝖔𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖚𝖕𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒 | CLOSED

tagging → aurora & maleficent

location → philip and aurora’s home.

notes → pip we hardly knew ye

it was silly for philip to allow his guard down. the bliss of normality he had found himself was one he wanted to be engulfed in forever. the life he had dreamed of was all but upon him. he had aurora and they were happy. the war waged on his kingdom felt like a distant memory. philip knew it was selfish to bask in this tranquility while his father neared his death and his brothers struggled to find a solution.

yet he was happy. 

a word that kept echoing in his head.

he. was. happy. was that not enough? did he need to be the hero he swore he would be? was aurora not safe? such questions he felt he already knew the answer to. 

these questions were not answered. not with truth. the delusions philip lived in to upkeep this perfect reality he had created was soon to fall apart. he had a duty to his kingdom, to his wife and to his family he was all but ignoring for his own prosperity. the prince could only ignore maleficent for so long before she reared her ugly head.

it was a normal afternoon. philip has returned home from work. normally he was greeted by the embrace of his wife but today that was missing. the prince didn’t think anything of it. philip assumed that aurora was out with her friends or traveling town herself. aurora deserved to have a life. for years she had been hidden away. elias was a new start for both of them. philip would fight for aurora’s freedom until his dying breath. if anyone deserves good things it was his wife. 

traveling into their kitchen he noticed a bouquet of roses sitting on the counter. it wasn’t uncommon for flowers to fill their home. philip was notorious for getting aurora bouquets daily. they were disgustingly romantic in that sense. 

however these flowers were not ones he had recently purchased for his wife. philip would know. the last time he had gotten her roses was a few weeks ago. this week he had gotten her peace lilies. 

he chalked it up to aurora buying them or being gifted them. with that in mind he walked past the bouquet and to the fridge where he pulled out a bottle of water and began chugging the liquid. nearly half way through his bottle he heard a flitting voice fill the air.

it was haunting, barley above a whisper. each time it called it sent shivers down his spine. “hello?” the prince called out. there was no response. the house was empty.

“hello?” he called again.

the one voice soon turned to many hushed ones, whispering various things in his ear, teasing him and taunting him. the flowers that laid on the table began illuminating from their vase. the glow was enticing. however, there was nothing welcoming about. it felt sinister to philip.

the emitted glow was the last thing the prince remembered from his own free will. once blue hues locked with that eerie glow it felt as though his body had been overtaken. 

hypnotized. 

the moments were not his own. philip felt as though he was watching from behind a glass wall as his body moved through the space. he was banging against that wall, begging himself to wake up and fight against whatever was calling to him but it was no use.

fingertips stretched out before him as the flowers called him, philip reached out and plucked a single rose. he held this rose in his hand for a moment. the voices becoming increasingly louder the longer it laid in between his fingers. his thumb grazed the stem of the rose until it brushed against a thorn. the prick drew blood. that was the last thing philip saw before everything went black. 

[fi-fitz-flynn]

Trust {Self-Para feat. James}

Prior Reading:

How could I refuse? {Self Para} Hiding In The Shadows {Flynn & Smee} In The Dark Corners {Self Para}

@jameshawks

Timeline: Late October/Early November.

Flynn drove away from the warehouse with full intention to call Alex and demand some answers.

But what would he say? And why?

His Alias wouldn’t care.  This used to be what he did. He was a runner for a large cartel. He didn't care what he moved. Just that he got paid.

But she didn’t know that he was burned there. She didn’t know he had turned them in.

So why wouldn’t he do this?

Flynn sighed, pulling over and rubbing his hands over his face.

How many people did he know that tried to protect against this exact thing?

Holley had been shot, Bianca had died, he saw darkness in Gil, that he could only imagine came from this.

What would they say?

What would Holley say? 

They would jump into action, they would find out who was who, they would take it down. Return the objects to who it belonged to. 

But after. After they would look at him, who had been caught fencing not just illegal goods, but magick goods. They would be disappointed. They would know that everything they had trusted him with had been misplaced.

He would prove everything he thought about himself.

But he didn’t want that.

He didn’t want to be someone people looked at with hesitation, or at least not them. Not those connections he made. Fuck the rest of the world.

Flynn was going to do right by them.

So what would they do?

Something righteous. Some type of plan to take it down. Who they could call in the RAS.

Holley would be his first call.

But she was still technically off active duty.

Gil? His roommate? 

Well these days Gil seemed to have another focus. So that left James.

The agent he knew the least.

The only one he could care less about if he hated him.

Maybe James would ship me off. Revoke his ward status before he had to look Holley and Gil in the face. That would be fine. That would be expected. He had broken probably every rule he was given.

He’d have to dust out some of his other aliases. Pull from his offshore bank.

He’d be fine.

And at least he did the right thing.

Fuck it. He was going to be alone again.

Groaning again Flynn rubbed at his face before putting the car back into drive.

Speeding his way back to Swynlake, Flynn didn’t hesitate. He didn’t stop, if he did he wasn’t sure he would keep going. This would ruin his life.

But if he didn’t.

How many others would be hurt or killed because he couldn’t step up.

Flynn didn’t bother with some random ass cover story. The RAS could deal with that, if someone saw him knocking with his fist. He could only really care about one item at a time.

James pulled the door open quickly. His hair and shirt ruffled as if he had run to the door and considering how hard Flynn was knocking, he was sure that was the case.

It only took a second before James ushered Flynn in.

No pleasantries, no small talk. They both knew this wasn’t the time for it.

Relating the whole story to James, Flynn didn’t waste it with frivolous details. The warehouse, the amount of paintings and artifacts, the security. The scales and who knew what else.

“We can confiscate everything but that would just lead everyone there doing it again. We need the location of the auction.”

“You want it to go through?”

“I’ll talk to the main office but I think that’s our best play. We’ll find out who’s the suppliers and who are the buyers. We could get some big names or even small ones out before it can get bigger. You’re going to have to get us that location.”

Flynn paused shaking his head at the other. “You want me to act like everything’s normal.”

“Yeah- You have a problem with it? Obviously people there trust you.”

“Do you trust me?” Flynn questioned his eyes narrowing. Sure he was here but the rules he broke?

“Not really. But I’m sure Shiftwell and Wahed do to some extent and besides you came to me when you didn’t have to. Which means right now we’re on the same side. So go get that information. We’ll plan the raid and we’ll get some people arrested.”

“That’s a pretty simple plan.” Flynn muttered leaning back into the chair.

“The complexities will come into play when we figure out who we’re sending in, If you have to go in. But this is what I do, I hit fast and I hit hard. I’ll take the lead on this side, just get the information we need and it will stay a simple plan.”

So Flynn had to trust them, going back into a snake’s den. But he already made that decision the moment he knocked on James’ door.

No matter what happened he had chosen his side.

[seven-c23]

“It was never turned on.”

( gdocs version )

[quinn-dervilia]

INTAKE INTERVIEW || self-para

I really do appreciate your patience with me. Once we have this entrance interview hammered out, though, I feel it will save us a lot of time in the future. [[ Quinn smiles: warm and genuinely appreciative of the time he’s harangued this poor person. When Quinn wanted a volunteer to help hash out some of the more administrative side of things, he can’t imagine they thought it’d be a repetitive script-writing exercise fine tuning even the pauses in what was once a simply getting-to-know-you exercise. ]] I’ll make sure to get some extra credits sent your way. For the trouble. Are you ready to begin?

“I’m just pulling up your file, can you remind me where you were before joining us at Colony 22?”

Yes! Yes, make sure everyone says that exactly. It sets the tone, makes things a little off kilter. May help us spot anyone who wants to lie about their whereabouts beforehand. Gaps in the Echo definitely open us up to less trustworthy sorts taking advantage. [[ Quinn nods, enthusiastic. After a moment he stops, laughs quietly as he stops himself getting too lost in his thoughts. ]] Right, I should answer, shouldn’t I? Give you some practice.

I was in a Colony back in the states where I was chosen to spearhead the reformist movement here at twenty two. Thanks to your... vibrant infected community, a stronger reformist presence was sorely needed.

“Do you or did you have much involvement with Infected persons?”

Unfortunately. [[ He deadpans. ]] No, I don’t. [[ Quinn answers simply. Expectantly. When they seem ready to move on: Quinn holds up a finger to stop the interviewer. ]]

I know you’re aware of my story—and my obvious alliance—but I would suggest you ask more questions if someone were to make light of this question. Understood?  [[ Quinn waits for a response before he sits back, nods and gestures for them to continue. This next question took some fine tuning.  ]]

“As I’m sure you can appreciate, we strive to offer a welcoming environment  to all of our residents. It’s our hope that we can rebuild a co-operative society, which means we discourage our residents from  getting involved in any… upsetting political discourse. Do we understand  each other? Do you have any concerns?”

[[ It’s a bit on the nose. Better for it, he thinks. Setting firm boundaries and expectations from the moment they step into the colony walls is better than springing it on people later. Quinn nods, hums in agreement with the phrasing. ]] This question I would like you to focus not only what they say but what they don’t. Their... reactions more than anything. I’m sure many aren’t aware of the good we are actually doing and this could flag up any concerns on our end. [[ After a beat he continues. ]] Do you think anyone will air any ‘concerns’? Can’t imagine they will...

Right. Next question, please.

“How do you  feel you’ve been adjusting to life these last few years? Is there anything we can provide for you in the way of additional support?”

[[ A broad and potentially triggering question for many. If Quinn had to answer this, he knows he may become combative at worst, flippant at best. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to answer this. He can sort himself out. ]] You may need to reiterate this for some of the more skittish members of our community.

We cannot let those who need any sort of medical or therapeutic attention slip through the cracks. Next.

“The  people here seem to really value the health and stability of the community. The NWRF wants to protect that. In what way do you see yourself fitting in and contributing?”

[[ Again setting expectations; a subtle way of implying that they will not tolerate people trying to ruin the status quo. He’s iffy on whether they should include ‘seem’, it may make them look hesitant or unsure of the atmosphere here. Then again, that could backfire. Given the time sunken into this one particular task, Quinn will let that one small point slip.

He nods. The interviewer waits, expecting Quinn to have more to say. Poor thing, having Quinn talk their ear off for hours definitely has them expecting something. He could emphasise—again—the importance of checking credentials or careers of those with patchy Echo data. That could be overkill. ]] No notes.

“Do you have any  existing connections of significance here at Colony 22? Would you mind  telling me a little about these relationships?”

[[ A very straight forward question. There are no more notes from Quinn, much to the interviewer’s relief. So, he simply answers: ]] No, not yet.