#{ toby schaffer — thread }

[angeldcgs]

judging by how patsy presented herself now, it was hard to believe they ever could've had anything in common. he had to remember that she wasn't always the hyper-confident it girl who lit up every room she entered— at one point, she'd been a nobody, just a fan of the music desperate for a place among the artists she looked up to, just like toby. perhaps that's why she seemed more willing to get to know him than the rest of the band and their entourage, seeing a bit of herself in him and trying to help draw him out of his shell. "would she?" he couldn't help but feel bashful at the mere thought of bringing it up to her. such a question would probably come off as him fishing for compliments, and then he'd have to explain how he and ronnie had been talking about her after she left, and he didn't want to seem like he was obsessed with her. it wasn't obsession, exactly... more like a really, really strong intrigue. "maybe... i dunno. i think i'd feel a bit silly." they tended to talk more about the music than anything else, as that's what toby was most comfortable with, but occasionally she ventured out and asked about his life back in ohio, getting him to open up to her with that easygoing nature of hers. it was hard not to spill his guts, revealing tidbits about himself he wouldn't have shared with just anyone, entranced by that beguiling way her presence was both intimidating and comforting. things with the band hadn't been the easiest, thus far, but he didn't let that deter him. it seemed as though their standoffish or sometimes hostile attitudes towards him were more of a test than anything else, wanting to see if he was really genuine, or merely an opportunist. if he just kept his chin up and weathered the storm, surely they'd see he could be trusted, and they'd be more willing to give him what he needed in order to write his piece. "i'm not sure if 'easy to manage' would make for a good cover story," he answered honestly. "i knew taking this on would be a bit of a challenge— outside my comfort zone, for sure, but writing puff pieces won't get me anywhere. i wanna write something that matters, y'know? something people will remember." that's not to say that he wished to exploit the band for his own personal gain, though, just that he wanted to get close enough to them to reveal a side they didn't show to just anybody. it's not like they had to be afraid of him exposing them for some horrible crime— if they were just a passionate group of music lovers who liked to get a little wild now and again, they shouldn't have to worry about having their real selves immortalized in his writing. all rockstars were known to get into their fair amount of trouble, that was par for the course, but so far he hadn't seen anything that would earn them widespread public vitriol. having touched on a particularly sensitive nerve, toby's lips pursed as ronnie spoke of the band's hypothetical reservations, face screwed up in frustration, though such assumptions about him weren't completely baseless. perhaps someone else in his shoes, a sheltered small town boy given the opportunity to shadow a prodigious rock group, would bring their preconceived notions of what was appropriate behavior, but toby didn't have those sort of expectations. "i'm not— i don't have any prejudice..." he argued, his voice a bit more whiny than he intended. "not when i'm writing. biases don't make for good journalism— accurate journalism, anyway. i just think people ought to see the real you... the artists behind the music. knowing you more intimately will give your work context, it'll help people resonate with it more strongly." his outlook was a bit idealistic, seeing as he hadn't yet been jaded by the reality of writing for big publications such as rolling stone. he'd never had his work scrutinized and picked apart by a whole team of editors, his writing tweaked to suit a certain agenda that would sell more copies of the magazine. his intentions were pure, but that didn't mean the outcome of his piece would remain that way.

being loved by patsy was a special thing, it wasn't a surprise to see that toby was eager to be in the know of how it might feel. there was a lot he couldn't say, namely because of its explicit nature and how that might make toby feel but occasionally she'd reminisce sweetly about how he looked pressed up into a corner at one of their parties, cooing about how he reminded her about how she once had been, scared to take up space and unsure of how to fit in. it was hard to imagine her ever not being certain of herself, not with how easily she filled up rooms with the sound of her gleeful cackles and sprawled herself over any available surface, living or inantimate. she recognised something in toby that most of them were too scared to think about, the versions of themselves that weren't rockstars but instead scared kids who wanted to make something worth listening to. "don't know if it's my place to say, kid. i think she'd wanna tell it all to you herself." ideally when she had toby beneath her, with her fingers stuffed in his mouth so he couldn't interrupt. "ask her, i'm sure she'd be happy to give you a rundown." it'd be a good opportunity for him too, talking to the band and their surrounding groupies without them worrying about what they said ending up in some potential hit piece- which is what some of them were still hesitant about toby's presence bringing forth. most people didn't know what to expect when meeting a band like theirs, interviewers typically found themselves getting their feathers ruffled as a way of determining their intentions and it had been no different with toby, the only real change had been in his insistence to stick around despite all the feisty and, frankly, disrespectful behaviour. most people didn't take toby seriously and might never do so but ronnie still wanted him to succeed in what he'd come with them to achieve, even if it made him look soft in the eyes of others. "mm, would that have been better for you? something a little easier to manage?" he shot a grin across the top of his cigarette before once more letting his eyes wander. he wondered what other things toby had heard about them and questioned. had he pondered the level of truth to rumours of their promiscuous nature and then been embarrassed to see that it wasn't something invented to sour their image? a stupid idea, if that were to have been the case. each little snippet of what toby's life was like back home was deeply interesting to ronnie, even if the same couldn't be said for the information handed over. "i think... i think not everyone believes you're going to be able to write about us in a way that doesn't feel exploitive." he said, finally speaking up again after a long pause as he considered all that the other man had said. "picture it, this pretty little goody two shoes comes along and people are up in arms because no one thinks he's gonna be able to accurately depict their lives and not spread his own hometown prejudice onto it. that's why you've gotta get involved, you gotta show them that you'll be able to understand what you're writing about."

[angeldcgs]

this was toby's first time truly being welcomed into the band's inner circle, previously kept at arms length as they feared he'd expose their more sordid affairs in the magazine he'd been hired to write for, and he was desperately trying to acclimate. he hadn't even been to any parties throughout high school and college, but even if he had, they likely wouldn't have prepared him for this sort of get together. famous musicians all milling about, gorgeous women around every corner, and a whole year's tuition worth of drugs spread around every available surface. he remained nursing the same bottle of beer he'd been drinking for two hours now, only barely taking a sip whenever he needed something to do with his hands or his mouth. "o-oh... ok, cool," he tried to shoot her an easy going smirk, but his anxiety morphed it into more of a grimace. "i'm writing a profile on them, so i'm kinda just... hanging out, i guess. it's pretty cool." sure, they seemed to ignore his existence more often than not, but toby was just happy to be a part of something. "uh..." his eyes nearly went cross as he focused in on the joint she offered to him, swallowing the lump in his throat before pinching it between two fingers, "no— no, i'm, uh... no. thanks." tentatively, he brought it up to his lips and inhaled, trying his best to hold the smoke in his lungs, but unable to help from coughing dramatically after only a second or two. "sorry, it's... it's stronger than i'm used to."

amelia leaned back against the squeaky leather chair she was cross-legged at the foot of, the hand on her left knee tapping ash from a meticulously-rolled joint. “am i with the band?” she repeated, sounding amused. “did you hear that, fletch?” but apparently the drummer whose shins she was perched between hadn’t heard, because he was now deep in conversation with the person sitting next to him. “yeah, i guess you could say that,” she acquiesced finally, taking a long drag before offering the joint to toby for the first time that evening. “here, i’m done with this. you’re not, like, straight edge, are you?” mocking smirk returned.

[angeldcgs]

having skipped both the second and the eighth grade, toby had a hard time connecting with his peers growing up. they weren't truly his peers, anyway— two years wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, but as an adolescent, it might as well have been a whole decade. joining the band on tour gave him the same feeling as walking into the high school for his first day of freshman year as a twelve year old— seven years had gone by, and yet he still felt just as insecure, just as inexperienced and uncool, especially when compared to a group of literal rockstars and all the exciting people surrounding them. there was nothing all that special about him, he could barely hold a conversation without having a mild panic attack, and with so many other, more interesting people all around him, he hadn't expected to form a connection with anyone. patsy had been the nicest out of all the groupies, taking the time to ask him questions about his life and seeming to genuinely pay attention to his answers, but he figured she was only doing so out of pity. giving the poor, lonely puppy some attention so he didn't feel so neglected. to find out that she actually did think positively of him, that she liked him, for whatever reason, he couldn't help but feel a little giddy about it. someone as worldly as her had surely met all sorts of fascinating people, and still, she had found worth in him. "things like what?" he asked eagerly, too swept up in the excitement of being perceived as something other than dull or awkward to consider how he might've sounded. it was just that he found it so hard to imagine someone like her speaking highly of him, he was craving something more he could latch onto. something to make it feel real, as if he'd ever be able to wrap his head around this whole thing. "i didn't really know what to expect, honestly..." he chuckled sheepishly. "i know there's this perception of you guys, all the stories about the crazy parties and everything, but i didn't know how much of it was real, and what was just, like... the persona. i was kinda thinking i might get here and you'd all be backstage reading kafka and meditating, or something." he tried not to expect anything, deciding instead to try and pretend as though they were any other regular people, and he wasn't so completely obsessed with their work in the interest of preserving journalistic integrity, but it was difficult to set aside his pre-conceived notions. when he watched them from side stage, toby allowed the fanboy inside to peek its little head out of his shell, gazing at the band in complete awe for the entirety of their set. they were even more incredible live than they were in recordings, the energy that they brought to the stage simply captivating to watch— ronnie especially. toby's eyes followed as he leaned back, pivoting his body slightly so he was still facing him. "not in ohio..." back home, folks looked forward to such trivial things as a new flavor of potato chips hitting supermarket shelves, and that's exactly the life he had to look forward to if he wasn't able to prove himself as a credible journalist. his brows furrowed as he considered ronnie's suggestion, trying to work out what exactly that meant for him. "i'm here to write what's true," he explained, so idealistic in how he viewed his work. he was there to hold a mirror to reality, not to concoct one of his own making. "i guess i'm just not much of a party guy... i'd never been to one back home— not that those sorts of parties are anything like yours." no one had ever thought to invite him, and it's not like toby was going to show up unannounced. besides, he still wasn't even old enough to drink, so he wasn't sure how much fun he'd be compared to all the people around him who dabbled in substances he'd never even heard of. "are they— do they think i'm going to write something bad?"

ronnie forced himself to bite back a smirk at toby's sudden piqued interest at the mention of patsy's fondness for him. people tended to react that way, everyone wanted to be liked by her, to be the kind of person she found interesting, it was really no surprise to see he was the same. part of the reason their relationship worked so well was that ronnie hadn't pined over her attention like the rest had. idolisation got boring after a while and having someone who treated her like a person rather than a deity was a welcomed change. not to say she didn't like feeling admired, when it came to toby one of the things they'd spoken about most was how his wide-eyed gaze had come to make them both feel. ronnie was used to doting fans but they were always kept at a distance, for the most part, even the groupies who all claimed to be fans came to feel more like peers. toby wasn't one of them, yet he was closer than any fan in the crowd had gotten. he got to live both worlds and the thrill of being there was yet to wear off- it likely never would. "she's said things... here and there." if he were to tell the truth and mention even one or two of the explicit comments patsy had made, ronnie knew that toby might melt into a puddle of embarrassment and never be able to look either of them in the eye again, so it was better to remain vague. still, he couldn't resist the temptation to fluster him a little. he was much too cute when he was self-conscious and it was so easy to achieve, a tiny compliment thrown his way and he was squirming, it made him curious to see how far he could push him before he excused himself entirely. "i'm curious, did you have any expectations to what we'd be like? the band, i mean. must be hard having only known us through music then coming here..." he knew toby was there to ask him questions but ronnie had suffered through enough boring interviews with inconsiderate journalists with no real interest in their music, he wanted to dig around in the brain of someone who was not only a fan, but was forcing themselves to try and maintain some kind of professional intercity. the quicker he let go of that, the sooner he'd get real answers from people. no one wanted to offer themselves up to someone who treated them like a zoo animal, to get the scoop he was truly looking for, toby was going to have to let himself relax. "you don't know that. i'm sure you've got plenty of exciting things to look forward to." another exhale of cigarette smoke and ronnie leaned back on the bed, propping himself up on his forearm. "that's true. there's plenty of time for you to get what you need... you should consider letting loose a little, though." ronnie's intense gaze remained trained on toby. "you'll be able to get more interviews when the boys don't think you're out to write something bad about them. indulge a little, go with the flow. i think you'll find they'll be a lot more relaxed."

[angeldcgs]

it was hard to trust the rest of the band and their accompanying groupies, never knowing when they were being genuine, or when they were messing with him. toby was naive to a fault— gullible, even— conditioned to believe people implicitly and assume everyone had the best of intentions. his mother had tried to train that trait out of him with her constant warnings about the dangers of the real world outside their sheltered home, but she'd gone so far into dramatics that he'd come to believe the opposite. things never turned out to be half as catastrophic as she insisted they'd be, and so he figured she was just being dramatic. but that was back in ohio where nothing ever really happened, good or bad, and he was quickly coming to see that maybe his mother's worrying had been for good reason. he didn't know how to handle himself out there on the road, which is why he was so grateful that ronnie took him under his wing. without he and patsy, he'd be floundering out there, and even though their attention was plenty overwhelming, he was grateful for it all the same. "really?" he was quick to perk up at ronnie's revelation, feeling a warmth bloom in his chest at the mere thought of patsy seeing him as something more than a dumb goofy kid. she was hard to read, so he never really knew where he stood with her. "how do you know? did she... did she tell you?" it seemed too good to be true, imagining the pair talking about him when he wasn't there for any purpose other than ridicule. what would they even have to discuss? toby had told patsy a little bit about his life back in ohio, but it was nothing interesting enough to be shared with ronnie. maybe he just knew her well enough to tell how she felt about people without even needing to ask, or maybe he was merely exaggerating just to make toby feel at ease; regardless, the result was all the same. though he was meant to be the one asking the questions, it was all too easy to get distracted when ronnie turned the focus back to him, not used to anyone showing a genuine interest in him when there were so many other more interesting people for him to devote his time and attention to. "a little, yeah," he answered, somewhat downplaying the truth. he missed home a lot more than he thought he would, especially since he'd been so excited to join the band on tour in the first place. it was still exciting, and he was incredibly grateful to be there, but the culture shock was still difficult to adjust to. "the bus is kinda cramped..." and smelly, but ronnie contributed to that issue just as much as the rest of them, so he left that part out. besides, it wasn't his scent that bothered toby. for some strange reason, he wanted to bathe in his musk, drawn to it like some sort of primal instinct, which he also wasn't about to share anytime soon. just being so close to him made toby antsy, having to resist the urge to scoot away at the risk of looking like a weirdo. his cheeks when bright pink when ronnie complimented him out of the blue, having to avert his gaze to his lap at the risk of bursting into flames from the combination of eye contact and praise. "oh, um... thanks. you're really nice, too, you and patsy... it's been really nice getting to know you better." to think that he would have any impact at all on ronnie's tour experience was almost too much, and he had to tell himself that he was just being nice to keep from hyperventilating. "yeah... i'll miss it, i'm sure. this is probably the most exciting thing that'll ever happen to me." no matter what he did in the future, he'd forever be comparing it to this experience, and they'd surely pale in comparison. this was his first proper journalism gig, his first time on tour, his first time this far away from home. it was bound to leave a powerful impression, but he expected ronnie and the other guys to forget about him before he even made it on the plane back home. "we've still got time, though. gotta make it count."

patsy leaving was a classic move, one that ronnie had been forced to get used to when they first started hooking up. there had been multiple times when he'd gone to bed with her beside her and woken up alone, sometimes finding her in the room of another member of the band, sometimes not finding her at all, she liked to make people yearn for her, withholding what they wanted most till they broke and begged. it wouldn't take much to get toby to break now that she'd hooked him but he was different from the rest, he had both of them trying to persue him and that meant working in tandem, she'd had her fun and now it was time for ronnie to take back the reins and soften toby up further. not that he needed to do much, toby already idolised him, he'd likely be more oepen with him than he would with patsy on account of that parasocial relationship he'd developed, feeling as though he'd gotten to know him at least a little through his songs. he wanted to give him whatever quotes he needed for his silly little interview but more than that, he wanted to get a sense of who toby was outside of being the awkward teenager standing in the corner of whatever room the band found themselves in. being a fan of the band was good and all, it didn't tell him anything about him other that he had good taste in music. patsy had gotten some backstory out of him, it'd be easy to continue down that road and see where it led them. "she likes you." ronnie pointed out, eyes flickering up to the smoke detector he'd broken moments after getting into the room for the first time. "and she's a good judge of character." he was inclined to trust her about things, they met a large variety of people on their travels, some with good intentions and some not so much, the majority in fact tended to sway towards the latter but patsy could sniff them out like a bloodhound. they might not have been perfect people, but everyone in the band and those who congregated around them were good, generally, at least. if anyone had thought toby was harbouring bad intentions, he wouldn't have taken a step onto the tour bus in the first place. "you miss home?" he quiered casually, leaning back onto the bed, pushing his weight into his hand so he could keep himself propped up enough to study toby's side profile. he'd likely reject all advances, but a handsome kid like him was bound to start attracting attention. none of the other groupies had tried to get close to him, likely because of patsy scaring them away from what she believed to be hers, but with everyone they came in contact with, someone was going to try and make a move and ronnie felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought. "you're sweet, kid." another drag of his cigarette and ronnie pulled himself up and closer to toby, shuffling enough so that their thighs just about brushed. "it's gonna be weird not seeing you on the edge of the stage when you do eventually leave..." people came and went, it was the nature of the road and their profession, but buttering him up was all too easy to do. "i've gotten used to it... got those stars in your eyes when you're watching us..."

[angeldcgs]

his overwhelming emotional sensitivity was no doubt a result of his mother coddling him his whole life, but she'd argue that his sensitivity was his greatest strength. toby felt things deeply, he loved hard, he was introspective enough to look below the surface and assess what was truly going on, and he had a gentleness about him that immediately put people at ease. maybe those traits weren't the best for the environment he'd found himself in, but they made him a better writer, and he could only hope it'd make his piece that much more accessible. he was still operating with his article as his number one priority, not expecting to get much out of the experience personally, as he was meant to be nothing more than an objective observer. they all seemed determined to pull him into the mix, though, not taking no for an answer until he felt he had no choice but to join in on their antics. his eyes followed patsy as she left he and ronnie on their own, inexplicably yearning for her attention now that he'd lost it. having her focus on him was scary, as she had a sort of intensity about her that he instinctively wanted to shy away from, but it was exciting all the same. it made him feel special in a different way than ronnie's did. "oh," his tone was almost disappointed when he realized she'd be leaving, though it was probably for the best considering the work he needed to get done. "ok! bye, patsy. enjoy the, um... enjoy your food!" he continued watching her up until the door closed behind her, at which point he turned to face ronnie, completely forgetting about the cigarette he'd been holding until the other man plucked it out of his fingers. "oh, no!" though he didn't know what ronnie was going to say about patsy, he felt the need to reassure him that she wasn't too much for him, and he could handle her intensity. "no, she's great. really cool— i've never met a girl like her before..." whatever they had between them was something toby still didn't understand; they weren't together, but they weren't not together. when he'd asked patsy if she was his girlfriend on his first day there, she'd burst out laughing. relationships just worked differently for musicians, he supposed, or maybe it was the spontaneity of tour life that prevented either of them from making a definitive commitment and putting a label on it. "kinda, yeah... it's a lot to take in all at once. i didn't really get out much back home, just class and work. i'm already kinda looking forward to getting to sleep in my own bed again..." he chuckled to try and make sure ronnie didn't think he didn't want to be there, because he did. this was what he'd been dreaming of, but he was still struggling to adjust to life on the road. his heartbeat kicked up once ronnie sat beside him, unable to hold eye contact for too long before he found his gaze darting around the room for relief. it was hard not to be star struck, especially when he found himself so close to someone he'd looked up to for a while now. "i'm glad, too... i feel really lucky to be here, it's an honor just to get to watch you perform every night. i'm getting paid to hang out with the coolest people in the world, pretty much!"

she should've felt at least a little bad watching the way that toby squirmed and tried to make himself smaller as she continued teasing him but he looked so cute when he was uncomfortable, like a scared little rabbit she felt dangerously inclined to eat up. in time she'd get what she wanted- what they both wanted, but it wasn't the right moment and toby was still way too in awe of everything. he needed to loosen up if he were to be able to accept what they wanted to give him. once he'd acclimated to their lives, then things could get really fun. "yeah! we're just talking..." patsy stuck out her bottom lip in an overdramatic pout behind ronnie's back before leaving the boys by the bed to talk. the poor boy's imagination would run wild with what she'd left unsaid and maybe she'd come back for answers later, but she wasn't ignorant to the fact that he'd come to visit ronnie specifically, and if there was anyone who was gonna help bring him out of his shell, it was going to be the man he'd been idolizing long before he'd found himself on the tour. "i'm gonna go find somethin' to eat while you two blabber." after throwing her shirt back on, long enough to cover the tiny shorts she was wearing, patsy threw the door open and paused in the doorway. "don't have too much fun without me." with one final grin, she disappeared out of the room and down the hotel hallway, bare feet padding against the carpeted floor.

while he tried to keep up, toby was out of his depths and ronnie felt like he had to offer a hand out for him to take, something to keep him afloat amongst all of the chaos. he could've left him to flounder, though he wouldn't have lasted long and while the rest of the group found his presence amusing if only for the sake of it allowing them someone to pester but ronnie had found that toby had a lot more to give than childish entertainment. once patsy had left, he turned back and carefully took the cigarette from toby and brought it back up to his lips. "she can be a little..." he paused, expecting the word to come but when it never did, ronnie smiled and shrugged. there wasn't any way to describe her that would even come close to capturing her essence, so maybe it was for the best to leave it unsaid. "things must still feel weird for you, huh?" after exhaling, he sat down on the bed, not directly beside toby but close enough, still wanting to give him some room after being crowded in by patsy. "i think most of them thought you were gonna make a runner this last stop but... i'm glad you're still here."

[angeldcgs]

he'd admired ronnie's work before he'd joined the band on tour, but meeting him in person catapulted that admiration to new heights. hopefully no one had noticed that dreamy, moon-eyed gaze toby reserved just for him— if they had, at least they hadn't called him out on it yet. it was hard not to be in awe of the man, not just for his talent, but for how he carried himself offstage. he'd never known someone so self-assured, so effortlessly cool, so artistically messy and yet somehow still put together. all that, and he was surprisingly down to earth. before he'd arrived for their first show, toby had been afraid all the guys would be too cool to even give him the time of day, but ronnie welcomed him in like they'd known each other for years. patsy was a whole different story, equal parts fascinating and intimidating, and he felt himself begin to shrink under her keen attention. "o-oh... that's, um," he coughed to clear his throat, trying to distract from the cracking of his voice. "that's nice..." his eyes flickered over to ronnie again, instinctively seeking some reprieve from patsy's intensity. it still threw him off just how open everyone around him seemed to be regarding such topics as sex. where he came from, it was something people did in the privacy of their own homes, behind closed doors, and rarely ever spoke about, unless it was to their closest friends. he supposed it was just something he'd have to get used to, if that was even possible for someone as easily flustered as he was. blinking up at patsy while she held his face in her hand, something about her next statement made his stomach flip, unable to ignore whatever hidden meaning she was trying to get across. "really? like... l-like what?" luckily ronnie had swooped in to free him from her clutches before he could get too overwhelmed, though the subtle brush of his calloused fingers against toby's chin sent a shiver down his spine. "it's ok, she— we were just talking..." he felt the need to downplay his discomfort, not wanting to come off as any more of a prude of a loser than he'd already made himself out to be. without even thinking, he took the offered cigarette, only realizing once it was between his fingers that ronnie was expecting him to smoke it, and so he brought it to his lips and inhaled tentatively. it ended up being a mistake, as he almost immediately began coughing, nearly drowning out ronnie's words before he remembered why he'd come there in the first place. "yeah!" he choked out between coughs. "yeah, i, uh... if you've got a second, that'd be great."

patsy hummed in agreement to toby's praise of ronnie and bit back the smirk that threatened to split open her face. his little crush on the rockstar was so apparent she couldn't believe that toby thought he was keeping it a secret. maybe he didn't and was instead betting on everyone else not mentioning it, though that wouldn't last for very long and it'd be sooner rather than later that everyone started berating him. patsy thought it was cute though, understandable too. she wasn't jealous, not because she didn't think ronnie had noticed, they'd already spoken plenty about the young journalist and she wasn't alone in having an interest in seeing what lay beneath all those stumbled compliments and freshly bought band t-shirts, but because jealousy was a useless emotion to suffer through, especially in the lives they led. "mm, same goes for off stage... puts on a real good show in bed. sounds just as good too." patsy declared casually, her tone much too chipper for the intimate details she was revealing. his awkward ways turned her on in ways she couldn't have expected, her instinct to embarrass him whenever he entered a room was almost impossible to ignore but per ronnie's suggestion, she'd been trying to be good and keep all her remarks to herself. he was in their room though, so she felt free to say whatever she wanted, especially when she had his cute face cradled in her hand. "god, you are just the cutest little duckling... we'll show you plenty of cool things too, don't you worry."

"pat..." ronnie warned patsy as she started to divulge details of their sex life. he didn't actually care, everyone on the tour had either caught them fucking or overheard it at least once, they weren't shy about it but he was sensitive to the fact that toby came from a different world, one where people weren't so casual about things like that. while she interrogated their guest, ronnie toed through the mess on their floor for the packet of cigarettes he'd bummed off his brother. maybe babying toby would only make things worse for him but he couldn't help but want to save the poor kid when he was getting tossed around like a ragdoll, everyone trying to rip a limb off before anyone else could. patsy might have come across as forward, but in comparison to the rest of the band, she was relatively tame. once he'd found the crumbled box, ronnie fished one of the last cigarettes out and walked over to the bed where he gently pried patsy's hand off from toby's jaw, letting his own fingers linger against his chin for a moment before here was reaching in his back pocket for a lighter. "let the kid breathe." after lighting up and taking a drag, ronnie extended the cigarette out to toby. "you're here for the ... uh, the interview. yeah? you want that now?"

[angeldcgs]

toby would've assumed a group of musicians would want to be the center of attention at all times, but it seemed they had no problem sharing the spotlight when it came to making him the laughing stock of the group. the more he tried to shy away from their scrutiny, the worse their ridicule became, so he tried to just bear the brunt of it in silence. ronnie had come to be his reprieve from all the rest of the band's teasing, so naturally toby had begun to grown attached. it didn't help that he was arguably the most talented member of them all, the only one who truly had the potential to go solo. he didn't mean to be biased, but ronnie was his first choice for a one on one interview. only, he was never truly alone, always in the company of patsy, who intimidated him almost more than any member of the band. she was so free spirited and self assured, nothing like the sort of girls he'd known back in his hometown. they would've never flashed their tits at a near stranger, so comfortable in their own skin that they didn't care who saw. looking to ronnie for help had already come to be a habit, and luckily he followed through rather than leave it up to toby to help her with her bra. his gaze dropped to his lap while ronnie hooked it in the back, nodding softly in understanding. most of the fun came from watching the band perform, but everything other than that left him in a near constant state of anxiety. still, he didn't want to come off as ungrateful. he perked up when she brought the conversation back to their performance, raising his eyes to meet her as a small smile slipped its way across his face. "he is! he's really amazing, i've never seen stage presence like that before, it's just... it's an honor to watch, honestly." musicians nowadays just didn't have that same spark ronnie possessed, from what he'd observed. watching him perform felt like watching any number of the classic, most revered rockstars of a bygone era, and it never failed to blow toby away. his breath caught in his throat as patsy cupped his jaw, eyes darting over to ronnie as if checking for his approval to make sure the touch was ok. "oh, uh... my sister— i-i didn't fuck her! she, uh... she showed me a lot of cool music when i was younger, and i kinda... yeah." as if his cheeks couldn't get any brighter, he felt his whole face burning from the intensity of his blushing. "i wasn't really allowed to listen to a lot of music, or watch a lot of movies, or anything, but i found a lot of artists through her. she's, like, the coolest person i know... or, she was, i guess. she's not dead! i just meant, like... 'cause i know you guys now."

other people on the tour were far more interested in bullying toby and trying to test his boundaries, ronnie, on the other hand, was happy to sit back, watch and let him try to prove himself. he understood the appeal, toby made embarrassment look so good, that nearly permanent blush on his cheeks, his dark, nervous eyes never settling on something for too long before he drew his gaze away, if he wasn't so sure that he'd run away at the slightest suggestion of something less than innocent, ronnie would have already made a move. things were looser on tour, he was free to pursue whatever pleasures he wanted alongside everyone else who had wormed their way onto their tour bus. things had gotten a little less wild since meeting patsy, she had never asked for dedication but he wasn't interested in acting wild for the sake of it, their relationship was one without labels but anyone who saw them together would know immediately of their feelings for one another. still, had he ever wanted to sleep around or find company in someone else, he knew patsy would have no problem with it, that was how she'd gotten in his bed in the first place, after all. he glanced back at the blonde, then turned his gaze over to toby, giving him a few seconds to act if he wished before he took control and walked over to patsy to help clip up her bra. there was plenty he could've said, questions he had for toby and what he thought about life so far with the band but before he could voice any of them, patsy was filling the empty void as she so often found herself doing.

"yeah? that's good, you ought to be havin' fun. it's a party." patsy grinned over her shoulder before turning back to face the wall when ronnie walked over to help her with her bra. she was the tiniest bit disappointed that she hadn't baited toby over but it wasn't a surprise necessarily. he was far too timid still, always in the corner of the room trembling like a little wet puppy, she was eager to try and help him out of his shell no matter what. once ronnie had clipped her up, she turned around and rose up onto her tiptoes to steal a quick sloppy kiss before turning her attention back to toby. "what were you sayin'? bout the show? he's just electric, ain't he?" she might have loved the band, but ronnie was always the star in her eyes. rockstars like that weren't meant to exist like that anymore and yet every time he went up on stage, there'd never be a single person in that venue who didn't think they were in the presence of an honest to god legend. at least, that was the kind of hypobole she liked to tell everyone to boost the band's prowess. she happened to really think he was that good but she also loved him and knew that bias maybe sweetened the deal. "you don't really look like the sort to be into this kinda music, y'know?" once closer to him, she reached out to take toby's face in her hand, cradling his jaw in her hand as she studied him. "you fuck a girl who was into this stuff or what?"

[angeldcgs]

this was exactly the sort of thing toby had dreamt of when his older sister first exposed him to the world of real music, playing old cassette tapes in her car that their mother would ground them for if she’d known they were listening. it was his first act of rebellion, a special little secret that had brought them closer together until she eventually left home after high school. from that moment on, he knew he wanted to be involved in the illustrious world of rock ‘n roll in whatever way he could, continuing his music education on his own and sneakily purchasing each issue of rolling stone magazine he could get his hands on with the money he made from mowing the neighbors’ lawns. making music of his own was out of the question— his mom put him in piano lessons when he was a child, but he lacked the dexterity to be any good, and besides, he was far too reserved to get up on stage in front of a bunch of strangers. writing was the natural alternative, starting with little album reviews for his school newspaper before he graduated to freelancing for small local publications. it was his way to immerse himself in the music without becoming the subject of scrutiny. somehow he’d caught the attention of an editor at rolling stone, one thing led to another, and now here he was. on tour with his favorite band, experiencing life on the road firsthand, getting to watch them play from side stage every night. it seemed too good to be true, and he was coming to see it was. they weren’t content to allow him to simply observe their lives, they wanted to bring him into the mix, to poke and prod at his sensitive underbelly just to see him squirm. he’d been trying his best to maintain his composure, but he’d never been the best actor, as evidenced by his visually shaken response when offered a seat on the rumpled bed. there was a unique sort of musk that hung in the air; it was different from the stench that permeated their tour bus, a sort of heady mix of briny sweat, and something with a bit of tang to it. the smell of sex, he assumed. after a quick internal debate about whether he could get away with remaining standing, toby finally decided to take ronnie up on his offer and gingerly perch himself on the edge of the mattress. it didn’t have to be weird if toby didn’t make it weird. they seemed perfectly comfortable having him in their space after such an intimate exchange, and he should be mature enough to handle it— even though the sight of ronnie giving patsy a playful swat on the butt made him blush and avert his gaze to the notepad and recorder he held in his lap. “oh, yeah,” he perked up slightly once the conversation shifted to that night’s show, a topic he was a lot more comfortable discussing. “totally, yeah, it was a great show! you were really incredible out there— you always are, i mean. you just radiate this energy, it’s…” realizing he was gushing maybe a little too much, toby let his voice trail off at the same moment he glanced over at patsy and got an eyeful of her bare breasts, causing his stomach drop and his throat to tighten, immediately dropping his gaze back to his lap. “fun… yeah, i’m… it’s fun.” out of everyone in the band’s entourage, she was the hardest for him to pin down. he was there to shadow the band, but he couldn’t help but want to dig further into her life, if for nothing else than out of pure curiosity. once she spoke again, he instinctively glanced up, only to be met with her bare back, and he immediately turned to ronnie for his response.

initally, ronnie had been against the idea of bringing a journalist along on their tour. the last thing anyone needed was to feel watched, being on the road was meant to be an escape from traditional expectations and while he wasn't nearly as wild as some of his bandmates, there were stories that he didn't need to read repeated in some crappy magazine that made them like a bunch of sleazy douchebags. they were, but the world didn't need to know the sordid details. the image that the music industry had painted of them was one of authenticity but that picture was always displayed from a distance. luckily, concerns he could have had were blown away like dust in a breeze when toby was first introduced to them, he wouldn't have the balls to mention half the shit he saw if he even lasted even the first leg of the tour without running off the bus and calling his mommy to pick him up. "nah- it's all good. take a seat." he waved a hand vaguely around the room, though the only free space that wasn't covered in miscellaneous shit was the bed and with how rumbled it was, it was obvious what had been taking place before toby's arrival. wherever he went, patsy followed. it wasn't so much a rule as it was a fact, a claim proven by science. they weren't dating, labels like that were deemed childish and suffocating in their crowd but even despite their tendency to sleep around, they always found their way back to each other. he landed a quick slap to patsy's ass before gently pushing her away, turning his attention back to toby who already looked like he was debating how high the drop would be if he were to jump from the window. "adrenaline, y'know? think you'd get used to it after this many shows but..." he ran a hand through his hair, damp with sweat and a faded green in desperate need of touching up.

if he asked, she would have denied it being on purpose, but patsy flashed toby her bare breasts as she stripped out from her shirt, one stolen from ronnie a week or so before, and rummaged through the growing piles of their things splayed out from their bags like organs from roadkill. "you're havin' fun?" she shot over her shoulder, grinning up at toby with a wide, sharp-toothed grin before finding her bra beneath a pile of empty bottles, used towels and the reminance of her handbag. while the band had been a little apprehensive about the idea of a piece being written on them, patsy and the other groupies had loved the idea. they weren't on the tour for the pursuit of fame or fortune, they loved the music and the band, and they'd all become one big, complicated family but who wouldn't want their name in history alongside what she knew was going to be one of the biggest bands of the decade? she'd be remembered along with the likes of pennie lane, it might not have been because of any particular skill she had but it would mark her relationship with ronnie down in music history, that was, if toby was any good at his job. "would one of you mind?" she stood up from the floor and turned away from the men, her bra hanging unclipped around her back.